His goodbyes were like the sunset
A warm embrace leaving the day
How calming was his presence
As the sound of his steps fade away
He reminds me of the sunset
How I wish he would have stayed
A sight of a beautiful ending
Transitions to memories to my dismay
I hold these memories close to me
So I can put them on display
As I wait for him to come again
A beautiful ending on replay

Curious, oh so curious
Like a new born canvas
Eyes with the blankest slate
Ready to be coloured in
Born with the adventurous thirst
Of finding the perfect medium
Wander and wonder, my child
Try different shades and textures
Learn to speak a thousand words
To build your own inner picture

Take care of yourself
Take a walk outside
Reach out to loved ones
Don't forget to exercise
It's okay to have feelings
Don't keep them inside
Even all the bad ones
Like how you want to die
They're valid, acknowledge them
Even if it makes you cry
For the longest time you held them
Let them go, cut the ties
When you're struggling, it's okay
Say what's true and not lies
Some people won't understand
But there are some who can empathize
Life will hit you hard
It feels more difficult at times
But look forward to the ups
Because without the downs, you'd have a flat line

He lives in days
I live in decades
His world in constant change
My world struggles to be sane

The master of his ship
Unbothered by the sea
I am the waves, the current
All the chaos underneath

How incompatible are we
Only now I've come to see
He was made for adventure
But he was not made for me

He can tolerate the harshness
He can understand my depth
But tolerance is still not love
Or else he wouldn't have left

Our paces are mismatched
They cannot intertwine
How do I catch up to him
If his pace outruns mine

His seconds are my moments
So little that he forgets
Locked beneath my trenches
Like a buried treasure chest

Why was I born an obstacle?
Why is being a woman, considered as one?
For I can learn and I am capable
Yet none of it matters, for I am not a son
If you truly need more soldiers
Please just take me instead
My father knows no limits, but I do
Just treat me as one of your men
I will fulfill my role as a soldier
I am a female and a fighter
I am a woman and a warrior
I may not be perfect
But I will fight for her
The girl in the looking glass
Who has failed as a daughter
She will fulfill her role as a soldier
She is a woman, she is a warrior
She is the girl worth fighting for

Her hair, the colour of the sky
When the sun says goodbye
That falls like sheer silk
And flows so easily
Like dandelion seeds
Her eyes, so round and curious
Filled with the absence of vice
That crinkle oh so shyly
How could she be so blind
I yearn to clean her mirrors
Her glasses and perception
How could she not see
How she keeps my attention
Her childlike qualities
That keep her youthfulness bright
Her smile, her laugh, her empathy
The way she falls sometimes
I fell for her, and still falling
The more I get to know her
The more I know, The more I love
And for that I couldn't be more sure

I wonder if you will ever feel
The pain I felt to unlove you
Slowly pulling you away from my thoughts
Taking out the images of you from my memories

Erasing your voice from my ears
Your name off my tongue
Do you know how hard it was
To pull you out from my senses
Only for you to return in my sleep

I feel a heaviness in my heart
A clutching feeling in my stomach
It is almost over now
Just don't invade my senses again
When it was so hard to make them forget

With you, I didn't cry much over
But with you, I felt the most pain
You didn't hurt me, at least not intentionally
Though it hurts more than I can explain
You fell in love and pursued her
I felt my heart break again
Because she fell for you too so it shattered
I was unable to restrain
No one knew of my feelings
I couldn't put them on display
I tried to give up by avoiding you
In hopes this love would go away
How many times I've failed
Because you kept enticing me to play
This friendly game between friends
When I know you wouldn't look my way
Your eyes made me weak
I had to look at them everyday
They reminded me why I fell for you
I felt a connection I couldn't contain
How we are when it's just us
I wondered if you felt the same
Your actions and words, I misinterpreted
But I know you are not to blame
No matter what, I have control
My heart is my responsibility to tame

She was like a broken mirror
Anything beautiful, she would reflect
A reflection abnormally distorted
Her perspective could not connect
She could not see the sparkle
Of the sunset sprinkled on the waves
She couldn't share the happiness of others
Because her feelings weren't quite the same
People's smiles were always crooked
Compliments were always misheard
Acts of kindness were disappointments
Expressions of love were just words
She was tired of being broken
Constantly blinded to beauty
She gave up holding her pieces together
Loosening her grip more than slightly
Her broken pieces then fell apart
Into a pile of shattered looking glass
She laid there with her hollow frame
As she could finally rest at last
Her self destruction symbolized
Her innermost desire for rebirth
Her lack of knowing what was beauty
Did not take away her worth
She realize her vision's distortion
Only showcased her perception
Her definition of beauty
Was different beyond interpretation
She arranged her shattered pieces
In a way her beauty befits
On the ground where she laid
Was a beautiful mosaic

Tick tock goes the clock
Like the beating sound of your heart
With two hands I cannot hold
In a love I cannot take part
Tick tock goes the clock
Another moment passes
How I wish time would stop
So I could have more chances
Tick tock goes the clock
Another moment is gone
Will time ever side with me
Or do I simply move on

High above in the clock tower
Was a child who misbehaved
Father time grew impatient
She was too difficult to persuade

For she was raised with no limits
Adopting such a life unafraid
Strolling into the timekeeper's tower
Assuming there was no price to be paid

The clock's hands restrained her
Every tic was a step she couldn't take
She was bounded by time by the hour
Creating yet another clockwork slave

The clock's hands became her cuffs
Its numbers turned all the same
To be used as the metal bars
For the finishing touches of her cage

Tamed by routines and muted by alarms
Wondering how long she had left to stay
In this fragile world that was so reliant
To act only upon the specific time of day

She missed her colourful beginnings
Free from a life that continued to age
Time stood still while she wandered
To wherever her heart was swayed

Seconds would turn into hours
Of aimless mere child's play
Were moments she took for granted
And memories she had misplaced

One day she took time into her hands
She reversed the roles to his dismay
Father time's parental grip on her
Could no longer be sustained

For she was a timeless artist
Who could not stay restrained
Whose artwork cannot be lost
In the past or the present day

Her poetic words reside in the minds
Passing generations everyday
Painting moments to only those
Who allow their hearts to give way

She became immortal through her legacy
On the path that she had paved
Making home in the artistic thoughts
Of every artist that was led astray

Overwhelmed by the possibilities
My thoughts race in my head
Grabbing concepts and ideas
Faster than I can comprehend
Like a hamster wheel
No matter how far I go
My thoughts remain
With no action to show
I cannot indulge in my obsession
As it turns into a phase
Overshadowed by another infatuation
So easily it can be replaced
I want to do everything
Yet have the energy to do just one
The choices overwhelm me
I'm left with a list undone

In every silent moment
With every passing day
Allow me to reassure you
I will be here for you, always

Whether you choose to be alone
Or love another someday
Know that I'll still love you
I will take care of you anyway

But know that love has two sides
Where we must meet halfway
Let me in to accept my love
For you, I am here to stay

In every silent moment
With every passing day
Allow me to reassure you
I will be here for you, always

Whether you choose to be alone
Or love another someday
Know that I'll still love you
I will take care of you anyway

But know that love has two sides
Where we must meet halfway
Let me in to accept my love
For you, I am here to stay

I wish I could go back to the time
When you were alone, afraid and confused
When things weren't alright at home
When you had no one else to turn to
I want to tell you it's okay
It's okay to not be alright
You may feel misunderstood and out of place
Like the darkness behind the light
You'll meet some great people
You'll make good memories
Even if it's not okay now
Believe me, it will be
You deserve the love you needed
Even if you didn't get it at all
Hold on tight and fight for it
Don't just give up and fall
You will use your pain as armour
And protect people like you
Your failures are your victories
Because you always seem to come through
Every time you get back up
Count that as a victory
The pain didn't stop you
You will become a better me

When you fall out of love for me
I hope to remain
A lingering presence
In the pages of your life
I hope to be reserved
As a chapter in your memories
Even if it is one
You'll always skim by
Or one you may never read again
I hope you'll reminisce
Your time with me
Even when you forget who I am
Because I'll never forget
How you held my hand each night
And took me wherever you went
When you fall out of love for me
And maybe find someone new
In the end, my heart is content
And I'll always be here for you

Everyday I see the train
Inviting locals and foreigners
Smiles exchanged with deep talks
Feelings deepened between passengers

Where does the train go?
Where do the tracks end?
Everyday the train comes
Only to pass by me again

Fed up with my curiosity
I take one step aboard
I want my questions answered
Before I dare ask for more

I take in all the answers
By exploring every corner
As I look for somewhere vacant
I become even more unsure

My eyes locked in to another pair
As if they have found a home
Reconnecting to a piece of me
Deciphering what was unknown

I sit down across from him
He holds a familiar smile
We exchange some playful banter
So I agreed to stay awhile

I found my heart inching closer
I look down before I fall
If falling meant I could be with him
I didn't mind risking it all

Only to realize it was just me
Falling harder along the tracks
I looked at him with possibilities
Getting only half of my feelings back

I didn't know he had a stop in mind
Or maybe I was too blind to see
That loving look I adored in his eyes
Was from thinking of her and not me

His stop was coming up soon
And our time was running out
How do I persuade him to stay
Holding on to what I just found

My hesitation grew with every step
The closer he got to the door
Delaying our goodbyes just a bit
Hoping he had felt something more

The train moved on unlike me
As I stare at the empty space
Wondering of all the what ifs
What if I had asked him to wait?

I feel the train go higher
No longer depending on the tracks
I try to make up for what I saw in him
He was a reflection of what I lacked

My uncertainty about him
Made me certain of something else
Losing him did not lose me
Or take away what I had felt

So I sit on another side of the train
Causing my mind to shift
Wherever this train will take me
I am sure I'll make the most of it

When people tell me
To not be sad or to not cry
I can't help but associate
Those feelings with myself
Who am I without my depression?
I grew up with it, it is a part of me
It is as if I hear
That I cannot be myself
Just try to be someone else
Try to be happy, they say
As if happiness was a person
That I am always compared to
A favourite child, that I'd always lose to
The first choice that he loves too
I can try to be her
I can force myself to be her
But I cannot be her
I can only be myself

Like a moth to a flame
I'm attracted to his light
Darkness surrounds me
As night continuously falls
It makes me gravitate to his light even more
Like a moth to a lantern
I persistently fly around it
Trying to find a way
Through the transparent walls
That separates me from him
I try to find a way in
I try fight my way in
I want to be closer to his light
I feel the warmth through the glass
But I cannot touch it
I yearn for him through the glass
But I cannot have him
An unseen wall between us
And I cannot break it

It's difficult to recover
Since you can't really
Take a break
Because if you do
It's a chance to suffer
Again, from this debilitating fate
It feels like an ultimatum
Do or die
Fall or fly
When I simply wish to be
Somewhere safe in the middle
When I am tired of fighting
Or I'm tired of flying
I just want to lie still and float
I want to be embraced by the cotton sky
Or lay on a bed of waves
That rocks me so slow, it soothes me
When I want to do nothing and just be
My emotional baggage
Has transformed into wings
Large enough to soar
But when I fall it weighs in excess
So I fall and savour the moment
When I can finally rest in peace

My tolerance for pain is high
My tolerance for people is low
Life keeps going overwhelmingly too fast
When all I ever grew up with was slow
I hated myself for being different
Yet I couldn't force myself to change
To fit their mould and expectations
I didn't want to be just the same
I felt guilty for wanting different
No one told me it was okay
I find it difficult to allow myself
To ignore what people have to say
I'm afraid of judging eyes
Critical minds and shallow mouths
That judge how they see it
Or what other people have found
Slowly I am learning
That being myself is okay
I'm allowed to, I'll try to be
Unapologetically me, everyday

Sometimes the enemy is myself
In the fight for my will to live
An inner conflict that occurs
More often than I care to admit
Approaching myself with utmost care
As if I am a war torn child
Who is use to conflict yet still afraid
Like bulletproof glass that's fragile

A good man with good looks
Looks too good to be true
With an ambition as big as his muscles
Assuming he would have a big ego too
I have loved and I have learned
No man is worth the pain
Because I chose to take his place
He left me with nothing to gain
Love drew me in so tragically
Blinded me with infatuation
Then stabbed me where I'm vulnerable
All because of some fatal attraction
So how do you expect me to admit
What led me to despair?
I will not fall in love again, I quit!
When has love ever been fair?

Another year has past
Time still runs too fast
Many times I failed to catch up

But I found those who wait for me
For it is they who has saved me
I am grateful for all who I came to love

For I still struggle to let them in
Because my inner child from within
Is still frighten from all she was deprived of

I am not the brightest star
Nor do I have the kindest heart
But I thank those who made me feel like I was enough

There was a child born of colour
Which flowed through her veins
And blossomed on her cheeks
Like the spring flowers of May

Colour concentrated on her lips
Her hair flows with a darker shade
A slight stain on her fingertips
And tinted freckles across her face

The way her eyes twinkled
Whenever she was amazed
Carrying her curious vision
She explored God's domain

How the sky changes colour
Like seasoned autumn leaves
The heavens astounded her the most
With all the gifts she had received

For the sky that gave her rainbows
Have given her diamonds in the night
When all has turned so tired and dark
She lies under the moonlit sight

When the sun peeks out in the morning
Or when it mischievously sneaks away
Behind the cluttered clouds, it hides
Before the storm brings forth the rain

Like a game of hide and seek
Mother nature likes to play
The child knowingly played along
Because the sun would come again

She was a child so fascinated
In all of the natural pigments
As if it was nature's way of saying
That her view controlled her limits

The range of hues and gradients
That she had found within the sky
The intensity and the variety
Of Mother nature's complex design

Embraced by the scenery around her
The child who was born undefined
As she brought the world a new hue
She was a beautiful colour unrefined

The weight of waiting increases
As every single year goes by
The amount of patience I carry
Is numbing me more inside

Let the storm pass, just be patient
As if I have all this time
In this world I watch it turn
As I keep waiting in my life

Just wait and see what happens
If you hold on to your belief
But I no longer have the patience
To wait until I am complete

When I see the signs and red lights
In the end will I be relieved?
From standing at the sidelines
Instead of addressing what I need

I no longer want to wait
For a better day to arrive
For all the perfect conditions
For a better chance to thrive

Or wait for someone else to give me
Their permission to be alive
To control my own life choices
And everything else I was deprived

My patience has become a trait
That has been engraved in stone
Watching opportunities leave
Only waiting for what is known

I want to let go of all this weight
That I had cultivated on my own
I chose to wait for too many years
Thinking it was a better way to go

She had that passive presence
Like the ticking sound of a clock
Sometimes you might notice her
Most often at times you do not
Like a wallflower, she is
You notice her on the wall
But then you get use to her
And don't care if she's there at all
As if she is just forgettable
You can't help it if you forget
She is use to it, it's understandable
It still hurts her nonetheless

Cry when your feelings
Are still fresh and pure
Holding them inside
Only taints the waters
The negative feelings
Manifest in tears unshed
If they are not free to fall
They are free to form instead
Into ice, building a shield of frost
To preserve feelings unexpressed
Until there is time to thaw
Or the ice shards will pierce through you
Breaking through your human walls
Aching to be acknowledged
Finding any way out
Through the pains of the body
Or outbursts of the mind
Unsaid feelings will have their say
As if they are an ocean
Contained in a tank  
You cannot keep the tide from coming

This weighted emptiness I feel
Like a part of me is dying
I'm dragging this dead piece in life
Sometimes I get tired of trying
I wait for the upcoming tide
Of the sea that won't stop crying
Salty tears and wailing waves
Somehow appears inviting
Comforted by the familiar chaos
I let the current bring me in
I float and fall as the waves hit me
The pressure surrounds my skin
This weighted emptiness I see
Resembles a dark clear sky
The waves like the wind take me
Home to where I can fly

I was heavily reliant on music
To make those bad thoughts go away
It's useless, you're undeserving
What's the point of living anyway?
I would run to my daydreams
Wherever my soundtrack would take me
A place where my love was whole
It always felt safer than reality
A place I yearned for
Filled with security, stability
I'd go whenever my heart was torn
There, I would mend it with my creativity
Where heartfelt cuts and bruises
Were patched up with hopes and dreams
Only to appear as fully healed
As it didn't stop the bleeding underneath
Slowly I'm cleaning my insides
Releasing the old toxicity
So I can build on those hopes and dreams
And one day be healed wholeheartedly

If you love me, do not pick me
As though I am a flower that has just bloomed
So you can marvel at my natural beauty
In the comfort of your small room

Where I sit in a pretty vase on the table
Or underneath glass bounded by a frame
You only show what you want to see of me
As if I am wild flower that you have tamed

You do not acknowledge my leaves
Tightly contained here with nowhere to go
They are hidden in this pretty vase
Questioning the purpose of its own growth

You only see me for my vibrant colour
Will you keep me until you see fit?
When I start to look far from my peak
Will you discard me for another miss?

When I lose the petals that you loved so dearly
And my stem limps against the pretty vase
Would you still care to love me
When you think I've lost all of my grace?

I was beautiful before you loved me
In ways you didnt care to see
How I danced along the howls of the winds
And greeted the butterflies so playfully

How my petals mimicked the warm colours
For a short moment before the sun sets
Or how they glistened against the moonlight
When the storm had finally taken rest

Can you appreciate all of my beauty
When it exists not to serve you?
Would you admire me from afar, knowing in the end
You have no right nor privilege to choose

What you think is best for me
Are only based on your standards alone
And your thoughts regarding what I need
Are only to the extent of what you know

I have grown alongside the harshest winds
I would not settle for a simple breeze
I do not waver against the thunderstorms
I was not made to cater to what you perceived

You see me as a fragile little flower
To take home like a small puzzle piece
So you could complete your picture at home
You took away my freedom for your own greed

Can you be content with loving me
As I am now and as you are?
Knowing you hold no monopoly
Over myself or any of my parts

If you truly love me, do not pick me
Let me stay where I have bloomed
I am content with all that I am
Knowing I am my own muse

I hear so often
When you say you want to die
Think of everyone else
How much they would grieve and cry
When you're gone
Everyone focuses on the pain you left behind
The pain left in the hearts
Of the closest people in mind
But do they stop and think
About the pain you've endured
When they tell you to keep living
As if for them and not you, it's absurd
When I say I want to die
I want the pain to end
I don't know how to adjust normally
I'm still learning how to fit in
When I tell you I want to die
Please don't tell me this
Just think of everyone else
How much of you they would miss
Because I thought of them already
It just adds on more guilt
More self-blame, self-hatred
Have you ever asked how I felt?

When a flower wilts
The flower isn't at fault
It is due to the lack of care

You give more love
Improve the surroundings
Why is it still dying there?

What more can you do
The flower is still not at fault
And neither are you to be fair

Its roots were rotten
Hidden death underneath
Life was too much to bear

I felt my heart drop a beat
Reading more along the lines
Another rejection so it seems
Another thing I cannot call mine
I remind myself it's okay
I am told it's not my time
It's another no today
But there's still a yes to find
I just hope that someday
Life will be more kind
That I will find what is right for me
When I am closer to my prime

My name is Hiro and yet I couldn't save you
If I hadn't picked up your hat
Maybe I would've caught up to you
I remember those flames
As if I've found hell on earth
Your disappearing silhouette continues to replay in my mind
As though foreshadowing you leaving from this lifetime
Just once I hated your caring nature
If you hadn't cared so much
You would still be here
I am blinded by regret
Over something I couldn't control
I was close to the flames but I felt so cold
As time went still
I froze where I was
My tears aching to be free
My cries wanting to mimic the explosion
Like those flames that took you away from me

I see your inner walls built incredibly high
Your walls seem to match the height of mine
Impenetrable walls fastened together with lies
To give off the impression that you are just fine

Founded on grounds scattered with broken binds
Unlike historical buildings that deteriorate over time
Your walls strengthen, reacting to what was unkind
A never ending job you cannot simply resign

Looking after your heart in the walls you refined
Examining the scars that constantly reminds
Why your walls were built and cautiously designed  
You retreat behind your walls where safety is implied

Hidden in darkness, your feelings start to unwind
Consumed by the darkness you become blind
Sheltered by your walls you cannot see you are confined
Unable to see me, we are on the same side

Tears manage to escape, holding back is denied
Let me hold you, I am here, here for you to confide
Let us use the bricks that emerged from our cries
Tearing down our walls that use to misguide

Build stairs from our ruins so we can rise
Leading to a future that remains untried