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1.3k · Sep 2024
Lost
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
You swore you'd love me until the end of time
But now the end is getting nearer
And I still don't even see your face
When I look into the mirror

What now I see is shadows
Cast from shaky lights above
Where your little voice cries out
"What once was here was love"
889 · Aug 2024
Rise
Ayla Grey Aug 2024
Break me down - I dare you
Take out my knees
Feed me lies
Break your promises
I won't cry

I won't cry when the shots are fired
I won't sob at the blood in my hair
I'll stand up as my world catches fire
I won't cry
Watch me rise
714 · Dec 2024
Girl in The Mirror
Ayla Grey Dec 2024
That girl in the mirror is beautiful
Confidence worn like a crown on her head
But once I remember that girl is me
I think she's ugly again
599 · Dec 2024
Heal
Ayla Grey Dec 2024
I thought that shattered people couldn't be mended
That they were lost from what was real
But I learned that people don't shatter: they bleed
And bleeding people heal
531 · Oct 2024
The Knife
Ayla Grey Oct 2024
He strolled along the fractured pathway
The wind stormed in his fright
His right thumb over his left index
His mind busy for the night

Leaves of red blew in a hurry
The grass appeared red too
He fiddled with his over coat
As the restless wind blew

All the world felt icy cold
All the world looked painted red
All the world slammed their doors
And released his fear instead

He fought to keep his balance
But the universe was too much
He fell onto his bruised up knees
His legs buckled with a crunch

He kept up with the struggle
He fought through the racing tide
His mind battled through the jungle
However his body was inside

He never realized what was broken
Not the pathway or his strife
So he fought hard for a moment
But then he grabbed his knife
He survived.
For those that are struggling: it's ok to ask for help you don't have to fight your battles alone.
467 · Oct 2024
I see blood
Ayla Grey Oct 2024
Everywhere I go I see blood
Dripping down my imprisoning glass walls
Painted red handprints on the doorstep
I see blood dripping from her painful lies
And pouring from his wrists
I see blood

Everywhere I go I see blood
I see red smudges spelling "I know who you are" on the counter top
I see red pools on the ground next to her
I see a crimson trail leading from my school
Coming to my home and to the homes of others
I see blood

Everywhere I go I see blood
I see red drips coming from my shoulder, my arm and my face
I see red lies dripping from my friends mouths
I see crimson decorations lining the walls of my murderer
I see blood
450 · Aug 2024
Little Me
Ayla Grey Aug 2024
When I was young I looked at people kissing
And unlike other kids I made a face
Not a face of longing
But rather of disgrace
When I was young money didn't matter
I kept it in a piggy bank
And one day when the pig was full
Id watch that poor pig break
When I was young I helped my friends
But not with things like math
I helped them solve their problems
Before problem's aftermath
When I was young I thought there was no limits
There was no such thing shutting gates
But now I see locked iron bars
And increasing living rates
When I was young I saw such beauty
Lots of Bright colors and rose buds
But now I see wilting flowers
And the only color is the red of blood

Now I long for boyfriends
Now I long for wealth
Now I don't help anybody
I can't even help myself

Now I see my body
I look like I'm a mess
But I think of little me
Saying "Oo I love your dress"

And as I put on make up
And can't seem to put on enough
I think of mini me saying
"You look better with it off"

Little me would like my body
She'd say it's perfect size
She'd even like my frizzy hair
And my tear stained eyes

And when bad things happened
And I couldn't help but cry
I picture her holding my hand
And sitting at my side

She'd tell me that I'm enough
She'd tell me that I matter
She'd tell me to follow my dreams
And to never let them shatter
She'd tell me to ignore icky boys
Because boys were just gross
She'd tell me that even if I loved them
I should love myself most

And I tend to remember
That I forced little me to leave
But I always seem to forget
That she's still part of me
442 · Aug 2024
Walls
Ayla Grey Aug 2024
Some day I hope that the
Dark gray walls
Are lighter in color
Because I know the locks won't open
But staring at a purple barrier
Is at least better
Than a wall painted gray
388 · Sep 2024
Walk out
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
If you love me
Just leave me
Like the wave left sand
If you love me
Just leave me
Like your palm left my hand
If you hate me
Then stay with me
So I can't hurt you more
But if you love me
Please leave me
Walk right out the door
379 · Aug 2024
Fixing shattered
Ayla Grey Aug 2024
Elegantly without mistep put up the dish
Tremorlessly clean the mess of a mind
Upon the sacred fall outs make a wish
Ask the universe for freedom to be mine

Find yourself before you heed all that's broken
Be careful to not step on the glass shards
Try and try to be there try and listen
So that maybe you can mend broke hearts

Be there when his whole world comes down
Greet him without a sympathetic sigh
Trust your arm to hold him close
Because Into your shoulder he'll cry

Fight the unseen battle walls
Crack your imposing glass ceiling
Because no matter how many times you fall
You'll never get a risen feeling

Tell him you'll be ok for him
So long as he himself is ok
And sometimes you'll have to lie to him
Because he desperately needs you to stay

Fight through the worst of mental storms
Ignore everything that causes you pain
And when the worst of news has formed
You tell them that you're ok
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
Singing by the wayside
Bellowing in the trees
Lovely like a turtle dove
Lives my hopes and dreams

Far away in the mountains
Buried in a box
My hopes and dreams lie dormant
Gated by the locks

Singing hallelujah
To the once gorgeous mural
Can't distinguish paintings
From extreme peril

But the hopes are beautiful like oceans
And they look like stained glass
And although they might be oblivious
They smell like cut grass
For those that don't know: the loved summer smell of cut grass is actually a distress signal from the plant. It's quite literally a call for help.
304 · Aug 2024
Rain
Ayla Grey Aug 2024
The sky bled on me today
I heard the clouds shriek
As I ran away
But the sound followed me
I heard her sobs
I felt her bleeding
I knew it throbbed

Finally I looked up
As I heard someone say
Stand up sweetie
It's only rain
236 · Dec 2024
My love poem
Ayla Grey Dec 2024
I was never taught to write a love poem

From a young age I learned how to grieve
I learned how to keep myself on my feet
I learned how to wallow on perilous ground
I learned to stand up when I fell down

I was taught to smile to keep hatred away
I was taught to keep my emotions at bay
I was taught to do everything on my own
I learned to love being alone

I learned to build barriers all around
But I was never taught how to break them down
I learned that if a crush seemed to stay
I needed to to push my feelings away

I never learned to love or to give anything to you
Now I don't even know how to break through

This was for my love but I'll never show him
These strands of sorrow meant to be a love poem
236 · Sep 2024
Wishless
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
An eyelash fell on my cheek today
And without much thought I flicked it away
No wishes to be made
No games to be played
Just like my old eyelash
I floated away
218 · Nov 2024
Those Women
Ayla Grey Nov 2024
Gleaming from their natural glow
They walk
Eyelashes grown from pure innocence
They speak
Lips died red from tomorrow's sun
They stand
They're strong women: they fight

Mind crafted like an artisans glass bowl
But they don't shatter
Heart flowering like a rose bush
But theres thorns
Courage like a thousand burning flames
They stand
They're strong women: they fight

Gleaming from the tinted paint
I walked
Eyelashes covered but never healed
I spoke
Lips burnt red from yesterday's sun
I stood
I am a woman: I will fight

Mind broken like a cheap glass bowl
I'm shattered
Heart wilted like a frozen winters flower
Left with thorns
Courage burnt out like a dying flame
I stood
I'm just not strong like those women
207 · Sep 2024
Glue
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
Can you see the shards
It's broken
Can you see the stains
It's bled through
Can you see through all the little lies
That cramped in their way and hid inside
Can you see those
Can you see me
I'm the glue
My job is to fix the shards
It can be yours too
Look closer
Open your eyes
It's breaking
It's broken
It's bleeding
It's broken
It can't be fixed
But we can try
So open your eyes
And look closer
At the tiny cracks
And those massive ones too
We can't fix them
But we can try with glue
194 · Sep 2024
Lost Love
Ayla Grey Sep 2024
I remember you grinning, child
Laughing, loving, learning, growing
I miss your laughter

It's been 6 years now
And sometimes I see you pass by.
Frowning.

I don't remember you frowning

All I remember is the sunshine
When our names were put together
On every single list

When school days fell and we ran on out
I never realized what I missed

I never realized why we stopped talking
I thought our friendship was just through
But you smiled at me the other day
And I realized - I loved you
180 · Oct 2024
Hurting
Ayla Grey Oct 2024
Icy cold spiky pain
Fear of love or loss
Live until you hurt again
Broken happy thoughts

Once was pink Then was red
Now it's black it's gone
Fear is like an infrared
And Invisible love
119 · Dec 2024
I'm Gray
Ayla Grey Dec 2024
Outside is Gray
Like my name
Lovely and broken
Misty and forgotten

Outside is Gray
Not spelled the same
Still hated in happiness
But loved in sorrow
109 · 5d
My eyes hurt
Blinking is slowly killing me
Every time the world turns off
I feel peace
Blink again and again until I don't remember
That my eyes are even closing
They tell me it's natural

How is natural to feel such peace
Only the moment the sky goes away
Just in the moment the world starts to fade
Why do I love to leave
75 · 1d
If I knew
If I knew what love was
I'd throw the words like flower petals
I'd shout out it's beautiful essence
For the world to hear it's peace

But If I knew what love was
I'd know that words don't last forever
I'd know that flower petals die
And shouts are only heard for a second
Before they're silenced

So perhaps I do know what love is
Maybe It's finding a something in the void
Or finding the void in a something
before everything's gone
I've never been in love. So here's my interpretation
65 · Jan 13
Sorry I didn't respond
Ayla Grey Jan 13
My brain operates like my messaging skills
Typed out my heart.
Deleted every word.
Forgotten.

I suppose I should cling to what I feel
But the moment they surface they feel
Too unreal
So I delete them from my head
Watch them until they're dead
Forget that it's ok to feel

— The End —