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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes ****** seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause ah’m purty!"

Copyright 2012 by Michael R. Burch
from Signs of the Apocalypse
all Rights and Violent Shudderings Reserved


Going Rogue in Rouge
by Michael R. Burch

It'll be hard to polish that apple
enough to make her seem palatable.
Though she's sweeter than Snapple
how can my mind grapple
with stupidity so nearly infallible?

Copyright 2012 by Michael R. Burch
from Signs of the Apocalypse
all Rights and Violent Shudderings Reserved


White as a Sheet
by Michael R. Burch

Donald Trump had a real Twitter Scare
then rushed off to fret, vent and share:
“How dare Bernie quote
what I just said and wrote?
Like Megyn he’s mean, cruel, unfair!”


“Clintonian” or “Billistic?”
by Michael R. Burch

There is a new term, “Clintonian,”
which means, “Stop your *******’ and moanin’.
He’s only a man
doing all that he can
to put kneepads in the Smithsonian.”


Any Woozy ****** Will Do
by Michael R. Burch

Once Kennedy, as we all know,
bedded a goddess, Monroe;
but a man of less mettle,
Bill Clinton will settle
for Lewinsky and a quick blow.


A Tale of Two Stiffies
by Michael R. Burch

There was an ex-candidate, Gore,
who amazed with his talent to bore.
“He was incredibly stiff,”
interns said, with a sniff,
“though not like his predecessor!”

Keywords/Tags: limerick, nonsense, light verse, humor, humorous, American politics, government, Republican, Democratic
Mikey Kania Feb 4
i want to be a...

republican because i am a

i want to be a democrat
because i am a republican.
Today is a good day.
n jacob Sep 2019
Donkey or elephant?
Rich, middle class, or poor?
Red or blue?

They have us all confused, all duped.
It’s a game of sides, an endless pursuit.

So we begin to hate, one another,
Begin to rate, one another,
Like our worth depends on contempt,
Not resisting the tempt.

But brothers and sisters,
Isn’t this one nation?
Lost our patience,
All things decided by rich white misters.

Because we argue over things that take forever to be voted in,
And ignore the world’s greatest sins.

Because while we argue for feats,
People starve on the streets.

I’m acting my own self, that paper out of range,
Because I can show my fellow human love before my ballot makes a change.
A poem about loving our fellow human, not politics.
Caitlin Feb 2019
We're a world and generation set on depersonalization
Where everything is on social media but everyone is scared to socialize.
We all promise we "just need to vent" but is it venting or is it depression?
"He loves me, he's just tired. Its not abuse, she's just tired. I'm not okay, I'm really tired."
We all need to stop and chill without the help of benadryl.
But we need the drugs to feel normal.
A normal that they tell us to be
on the covers of our magazine
When we are all medicated to achieve the status quo
We can't learn from our mistakes if we can't remember them.
Instead of dealing with the guilt,
we soak in a bath as if the lavender suds will rinse away our ****** personality
We do it nightly and call it self care.
And the self care we really need is lunch that isn't Oreos and to join therapy.
We fill the empty hole inside of us with cigarettes and ***** and food
And we don't even know we're empty because our parents are empty too
And the only ones who can recognize the absense
Are the same ones telling us to work harder to buy our first house and car before the age of 25
When really, we haven't even settled on what we want to be when we grow up
Our grandparents and parents beg us to have babies because "I'm not getting any younger."
But I'm quickly getting older Dad, so shut up and let me drink until I pass out without worrying about how much my child will have to heal from, just like I'm healing now with Bacardi 151.
Its a cycle and there's no handle bars
Celebrities writing songs and movies, a fill-in-the-blank series that mimics a horoscope
To drag in the masses with feelings of unity when really we have no idea what our brother went through when we were laying on our uncle's bed at midnight at 5 years old.
They want us to be the same except for when its not convenient, and suddenly the children of rich people are to be scorned but they hate the black people who hate the black rich people
And its another cycle, the chain popped off and the brakes are our feet
Just like when we were kids except now we have no shoes on and we are rolling down a hill that stops at a lake
And our empty parents forgot to teach us how to swim.
Its 2019 now, when will  America be great in the first place?
rachel Feb 2019
you can't shake hands and greet people with a smile through a wall.
Owen Carter Jan 2019
Blue skies and apple pies
Football games and guns to aim
40 hours of work and fireworks
Heteronormativity and conformity
White tranquility in the midst of police brutality
White terrorism claiming nationalism
What is the American Dream?
Shutdowns and cages and riches for ages
Fascism raises from hateful rampages
Families taken away from their own
These are a few of Trump's favorite things.
What is the American dream?
A flag always at half-mast
In preparation for the next mass shooting
Killing the poor with a minimum wage
That can't even afford rent
Mocking the people we stole this land from.
America the land of the free
Construct of the patriarchy
Thousands of dollars in medical bills
Treating our oceans like landfills.
Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light
A country so broken the end is in sight.
Capitalistic ideals that possess the rich
Destroying the poor as we're thrown in a ditch
Together we must rise above
And show Trump's cult what we're made of.
james m nordlund Jul 2018
Words, while being paths of study,
Can't lead to oneself, for the intellect
Can't lead, as life doesn't follow.  
The corporate structure's convolution's
Devolutionary direction differs.  Stray
Not from your heart path: you being who,
What, where, when, how, and sometimes
Why, forever asked, and unanswered.
Viva la Evolucion, viva la Green Party.
To walk in seasons is to question,
A flower is opening.

Brent Kincaid Jun 2018
Whatever you do, my beloved son
Do ever become a Republican.
They care for you, until you are born
Then after that, you'll become forlorn;
You have no power, no say on life.
Exactly the same for your kids and wife.
Unless you are white and born rich
You are one out of luck *******.

You have to be born a child of the wealthy
Then, as  a Congressman, you stay healthy.
But other modes of life, unless you get rich
The GOP turns off the ‘welcome’ switch.
They only want whie men who follow the plan
And become a full-fledged party yes-man.
And don’t have friends who are black or gay
Because the Republicans will throw you away.

Once you join their ****, you can't have friends
Who are liberals or socialists, that is the end.
Your party invitations and your job prospects
Will all disappear, no matter if you object.
So, listen my son, and learn the lesson well,
The Republicans are mostly creatures from hell.
They’ll cheat and steal from their own brother.
No matter wrong or right, they stick together.
Parker Poole Mar 2018
To impeach or not to impeach: that is the question
To bar myself against his merciless beliefs
Or to deal with a worse evil by the name of Pence
His speeches of deportation and his turning of the laws
With his tiny hands and orange face is deplorable, despicable!
The destruction by the racist himself to LGBT+’s civil rights
Has wrought havoc for the transgendered, has instilled fear into us
To impeach or to keep
Pence, a sidekick, a partner in crime to the man in question, a worse evil
Hatred of us, boiling beneath his republican skin
Conversion therapy becoming an option, scarring and scaring the youths
Homophobia on the rise after the biggest triumph for us
Laws passed in June of 2015 no longer holding meaning
This man spreading his opinions to the new generations
To keep Mr. Trump would save us from a meaner man
But what would save us from the man who helped make America racist again?
There’s misogyny, bigotry, and racism filling the office
Violence, arrogance and white supremacy filling our country
Supported by Russia, the KKK, and racist republicans
Trump has taken this land into violence, fear, and hatred of one another
He has made public shaming against those with disabilities appropriate
And his voters have accepted this America as a great one
People are beginning to revert back to their prior nativism views
But to us Pence is a worse evil
Threats, pain, and fear still running deep within our communities
Shootings, violence, and property damage are just to name a few
Running rampant in our communities, egged on by this Vice President
Though Lord Voldemort may be terrible
Behind him is a line of Red Racist Bigots to replace him
Due to this, the Evil Man will have to be kept
And impeaching cannot take place
I wrote this last year when we had to make a poem matching Hamlet's soliloquy about an issue in the world today. These are my own personal opinions and I don't wish to demean anyone else's. Thank you for reading.
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