you have a gun pointed at you and blood on your hands they ask you if it was you: if you've committed the crime, if you did the unthinkable, if you really are such a villain and you are, you did, you have, so you tremble, ready for the switch off that'll obscure your vision you know you're guilty but still, you shake your head, scared you renounce, you avoid their scrutinizing stare you swear you deserve the dark but still, you hope you can escape to go back into hiding, wash the blood from your hands and reshape
Why do you care so much are you gay? A question I remember often being asked. How illogical it is to assume your child will be anything other than straight, to be raised on the belief that other was either a phase or a sin. Maybe I just care about people as human beings - or maybe there was something more to it. How wrong it felt to push my sexuality in a corner and pretend it did not exist.
Once I pushed past that, the feeling was surreal. Finally embracing your true self is a feeling you never forget. I did not choose this; To fall in love with words, personalities, feelings, never confined to gender, but I have accepted it. That is what is most liberating. I feel free. ~ I.M
Strip me bare of my insecurities Lay a breath of cold air upon the chest I hide from all Stripped of my shield I sit vulnerable and scared The galaxies and black holes, That makes up my mind, Widen with each word
Hopeful feelings lay in spots on my stomach and arms Spots that have healed But not left me Dreams of acceptance and confidence Have since become the shattered pieces of my bathroom mirror The same mirror that makes me remember All the ways my identity is fractured
Like the black holes in my eyes There is a mystery to me I believe that I am bad I believe that who I am is disastrous to those around me Yet what is an identity without such beliefs Perhaps a good one
Colorful feelings, followed by dark and grey That’s what you see when you strip everything away Bones cracking from the pressure of being so conflicted Signs of ripping as the heart tries to follow what it desires The head, bleeding, as the pain of resisting grows
Cannot be me, Give me back my insecurities Give me back the bindings Give me back my shield Give me back my dark feelings and let me bleed I can hold up fine It is only my identity I am hiding But we all know this is just a lie
She stood from the outside only hoping to be among the others. Wondering why she couldn't show her love. Infuriated but yet so scared of how the world would view her. Second guessing her past, current,and future moves. Go out or Stay in. "Why must I hide you, love?" "Because, you'll lose those most precious to you and from there, there is no going back" Deciding she would rather keep her family and stay private rather than lose those closest to her, she held her wife in the tightest grasp and whispered "I'm sorry my love. There's always tomorrow"
if I told you the "F" marked on my birth certificate wasn't me would you tell me how wrong I am? how I'm too young to know or think something like that? if I told you I'd rather flatten my chest deepen my voice shorten my hair be called something you think I'm not how would that turn out? I hope one day I can tell you how I feel without the fear or proof that to you I wouldn't be a child playing dress up
I've tried to tell you before, I shouldn't have to say it again I'm suffocating in the lies Each one a knife The blood spills down
My 'body' is a cage in which I tear The bars replaced every time one falls down Each time I hear my 'name' I think I die a little bit more inside How much longer until I'm completely dead inside I don't know if I'm even still alive The blood mixes with the tears spilling out of me
I hide in my closet It's dark in my closet I can't see myself in my closet No one can harm me here But I'm still suffocating