And then he told me that the only solution was to stand back up and fight
but I felt that I was only losing and I was right
Piercing through whatever was left of me
but not even he could see me die that night
and now everything is falling just because of one fight

I try to touch your breathe with my lips
Holding on to your heart
I want you to touch the curves of my hips
But you are tearing me apart

One more kiss just for the road
Come on, please don't go
if it's just  lust then why am I breaking?
I need more memories of your soul
My heart's now turning to the color of coal

I believe in true love
Not the love you say after dating for a month
Those are just gases and hormones ****** with your brain
I can only say I really love about 7 or so people in this world
Of course I say I love you to all my family members but that's what you do
They come in and out your life
Say they miss you
But they don't
It's just what you do
I never understood it
Why your friends say they love you
They say they love me
And I'm just feeling so confused
I barely know you
I've been through more **** with my aunt for five minutes than my whole relationship with you
You're just here for entertainment
Not for love
You'll leave
I know you will
You have before
So the day I move for a different school
I'll see you waving
And the moment I leave you'll be watching a movie soon
It happens

Feeling my childhood vibes
The old feelings of love
Dancing in my living room
Never knowing I would be brought to a depressing doom
Wish I could watch the sky slowly be painted into a dark lovely blue
Wish I could be a girl again
Instead of a heartbroken young woman

Wish you could fix everything
Give me back those country skies
My old bike
The one I would use to travel across my own world
The one world I used to love

Oh I don't know how to cope with life
When I don't know any of trees I used to see every day
Or the sweet brown eyes that I used to be greeted with each morning with panting
Lay here now with a few more bucks in my pocket yet
And I'd rather to be begging for it

Lights have to flash brightly
in our poor old eyes
the ones we use to cry
cry ourselves to sleep each night

And I don't know if I can do it anymore
             Water is calling to soak up my body
                             To float and be free
                                   No gravity
                 It would feel like I was floating
                                           Dead.
                  could be dead in the water

I liked the way the sun shone on the trees
I liked how their shadows would be painted on me
I liked the way the winds would sing
but now I’m here and it’s so lonely
in the woods is where I wish I could be

Beautiful voices
Mouth shut
I know I won't
Don't talk or get compared
So I stay silent I don't care
Never been heard
So why waste your energy
for un tasteful sounds to come out
Winds whistling
It's the wind
Not me
Natures beauty
At least it can sing

I used to know you
We used to be sisters
I used to play with you
We had no brothers
It was just us
Just the two of us
No boyfriends
No toys you played with
And I miss it
I miss your dark brown hair and I miss your non makeup covered face
I miss you

Listening to other voices
Screeching a beautiful sound
I get jealous
For my voice has never reached that high
It's never has
I know it won't

The moon shines on an illuminated ocean
flickers of a white reflection
the wax and wane of the ocean and moon
with each push and pull the ocean swoons
with people passing greeting with good afternoon
a little girl
she passes by the ocean’s swirl
releasing her prized possession

Life has left me on the floor
Life has gotten me knocks on doors
Oh can't you bother someone else, while I go under?
The ground is coarse as usual tonight
Earth is breathes in my lungs, but pros turn to cons
and like usual it's turning dawn
Never let me go as life has nothing to show

Commanded by war
Controlled by the bombs
Whipped by the screams of a hurricane
Struggling to stay sane

Death's breath is combined with ours
when the time has come to collect our helpless souls
Clinging on to him
anything we can grab
We all gather under his patient eyes
Watching another day go by

It feels like I got no voice
When you can hit tones I can't
So jealous I want to scream
That seems to be the only effective thing I can do with my voice
It hurts so much
When you can't be someone you are
Nothing new
Something old
Tears a hole in your heart
And causes bleeding
that causes my humanity to tear apart

I'm not ready to talk about it
Don't get me shaking
Don't get me thinking
I don't want to think about the future
too late now
you tipped the cup
you got water everywhere
Why do I have to clean it up?

The cold welcomes me
I feel old pleasant memories
I feel at home again
I hear the laughter of my sister
I hear my family's bickering
I taste snow I would scoop up and eat with my sisters
I taste cheap, but delicious hot chocolate
The cold welcomes me

Shut the hell up
Keep it to yourself
Sister, sister
Thought you could be my dear sister
Hear my heart beating
hands start to shake
Soul starts to bleed
Sister's mister
Why did you kiss her?
Now Changed her for the worse
Now I'm force to help her

There was a storm
Where I played in the wind
Tree branches  mimicking my movements
Looked at them in a strange way
Wondering what they were doing
And I didn't know that there was a storm
You looked up to the sky and you saw it but
Said nothing and walked out
like saving me was out of pocket

Laziness maybe was what you had
But I know you don't care
What gets tangled in my hair
Or what wraps around my lungs
Or how my death will be soon because of all the things you flung around

The storm was  brewing
Poured in all the perfect ingredients
That's what you were doing
Recipes
That's what you had
Looked up rainy clouds
How to make
Now you're gone and it's raining out

Sometimes I try and step up to be brave
Then stuff comes in and jumbles in my brain
I try to ignore it but then I fall apart
I should have listened when they said it'd be hard
Walk down a path and try to look brave
Keep your head above water
Clean cut and then shave
Now I am here
A jumbled mess now in your view
Try to keep that distance
Maybe you'll see who I am soon
When I spill my drink all over you
Or trip down the stairs
and I hope you don't  puke
I wasn't made as a beautiful view
Because I wasn't made to be perfection at all
In fact I can tell you  I wasn't even planned at all
Try not to judge too much because I'll warn you
I'm going to fall or fail something soon

I've got no family
I've got no good friends there for me
Only people who feel sorry
What am I supposed to do when I'm in pain
Howling and muttering in shame
I am so tired
All I want to do is fall
But I don't know if I'll have the strength to pick myself up
Sure I have their support but at the end of the day
But I'm their problem
I want to be their family
A person they would die for and not only for the attention
Guess I've got myself but then again
I only care about myself to not to be noticed

I’m sorry I look at you with empty eyes
And speak with simple words
We both lost her
He both loved her
We both miss her
I just don’t know what to say to you
I see that pain in your eyes when you look at me
Like I remind you of her death
I miss all of them
It just reminds me I’m growing up
But I really really don’t want to
I feel like I’m dying but I’m just getting closer
Listen, I’m sorry
I’ve lost my mind and I’ve been trying to compensate by trying to be deep
Honestly.
Honestly.
I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore
I’ve been blank minded since I saw you banging on her coffin
I’ve been blank minded since I realized she was dead

For the day I should have cried
I have been crying the rest in pain
Should have let it out
Why did I have to think to stay strong
Why did I have to be so stupid
Now I know I was so wrong
What if I let it out the day I should have had the most pain
What if I did not stand tall that day
Maybe some days we were meant to fall
To crumble down to our weakest forms
And let's all our troubles free
Instead stuffing ourselves like teddy bears
And then sewn on a smiley face
Only for others to see
Why do we think keeping that happy face is strong
When sometimes we need to let our emotions free
Instead bottling it up and instead of staying perfect
We turn out to be crazy

If I were to stop talking
I’d bet I be alone
Because the water runs thicker
Between the two of us, alone
The silent creaks of a home
Yes I feel truly alone

If a lone wolf were to call me
I’d understand the moans
For blood runs thicker here
Not the bursting of a different tone

For the lies you’ve told me
The lies I believed
Because blood does not run thicker
Which is now clearer for me to see
Blood runs thinker then water or at least that’s what you said
But the silent creak and the screeching squeaks are tearing through my head

I try to understand a way to know whom you are against the painted grays
Try to contrast the color of the skin compared to the others
I know that this is a sin
Me against you like you wanted to
Who are you to be in control?

We're crashing planes
Hunting in a maze
I'm trying to get a scent of you
I'll come back tomorrow and do it all over again

Life is losing, because life is losing me
And if there were more reasons
At least more reasons than just three
Then I might love you, because someone cared for me

The fights been fought
The fires shot
It’s burning hot
Oh the Lord can’t help me now