In the silence surrounding her she harbors solace,
with a candle burning her imagination and intuition is churning,
She scribes through the hours of the night to reason with the jigsaw of jargon outlined before her.

A scholar defying the norm,
a messy bun with a few strands undone,
that's the mark of her intellect,
it's the crown she carries.

Life is but a brief blink of an eye,
Awakened at the clock's end to infinite light,
An endless continuation of the benevolent.

Tightly stretched across the frame I am cut from unbleached cloth,
The coarse craftmanship of my canvas awaits an artist's touch,
Outline the path to discovery and redemption on my surface,
Paint me with the colors of hope and prosperity as you guide my creation,
Let the pigments dance across my existence as I glisten and gleam,
I am a sight to behold,
A testament to the contributions of all before me,
Unified together through this masterpiece I now carry their legacy.

& in the fragrance of yesterday I'll bow my head in humility to pay respects to the child that roamed free.

For she was a mischievous character who tended to nature, heeding the wind's call.

She was a ferocious mine, eager to answer the precarious pondering of mental illness and abandonment.

She was confused because she was young and couldn't handle such complexity.

She found solace in lavenders.

A scent that rooted her in spirituality and happiness.
A scent that reminded her of happiness and rebirth.
A scent that provided her refuge from the uncertainty of life.
A simple embrace from the mystic himself.
A simple flower carried her through tedious transitions and remained a stable symbol in her ever shifting life.

Bowing her head in humility she prepares to transition into the next chapter of her life.

With a humble heart I tread forward.

Onto a new state, a new journey, a new chapter.

Temporary is my existence on this planet I have mistaken as true,
For I am from beyond where my spirit flies free,
Celestial currents flow through melodiously within me,
As constellations hidden in my soul shine through my daily decree,
The wind whispers of limitations on my visitation rights as I fall to the illusion of security,
I am reminded by nature that I am not from here,
For I am from beyond where my spirit flies free.

Judge me by my acts not my words,
For the world may be filled with roses,
But I shall be his one and only unique rose,
My importance will reign above else now that he has watered and sheltered me in this glass globe,
The caterpillars he has killed and the butterflies he dismisses are acknowledged,
To the listening ears he lent and the hours we have spent,
To the silence shared and the agony of separation I bare,
I am his rose.

The final cadence of our union dismantled at the maestro's gesture,
A well sought forever concluded in nevertheless,
Promises ceased at the symphony's end,
A distraught reality remains.

Your silence holds me captive in an endless loop,
I spiral not knowing whether you're alive or dead,
Pondering aimlessly I drift solemnly,
Holding my wits I persist despite the confusion,
A wanderer amid lies I readily seek truth and salvation,
An escape from the turmoil,
A relief from the wordless.

Look beyond the borders of the walls that contain you for the world is vast,
Push past the horizon that surrounds you because your heart is true,
Let the raindrops dampen your existence as you begin your journey,
You embody light and emit potential,
Let your work be your legacy,
May your diligence be gracefully saluted,
For you are more than their minds can ever fathom.

Stardust shimmers in night's darkest hour,
Constellations gleam across dreamscapes unseen,
Bask in the moonlight child,
Revitalize.

Casted aside I reside in the broken remains of yesterday,
What we saw together,
an everlasting forever is now in ruins ...
I'm numb.
Devoid of thought - forsaken is my heart - and now I cry,
But there's no tears in my eyes,
Drifting beyond my grasp is the hope i once clasped,
Gone with the wind I've fallen in sin,
I'm numb
I'm numb,
What I want is not what I'll have,
Perhaps she is glad,
I sit in shambles wondering why my thoughts ramble,
Incoherent repercussions.

& the next time the wind blows that familiar scent,
Reminisce on the benevolence of what we once had,
The essence of what once was,
& the potential of what was left behind,
A time adrift.

And when life moves you,
Bend to its call,
For just as the water dances with the breeze,
So shall your spirit gloat with life's current.

Fickle to the ears and solemn to the soul is the truth she unfolds,
A tedious maze of reckoning lies with every answer she shares,
A woman of wonder.

To sit with myself and the mayhem that lies within,
listening to the inner voice that was silenced by ridicule and speculation,
to understand the longing hidden in the whispers of my mind's scape,
I choose peace,
for the stagnant waters that once frighten me welcome my decision wholeheartedly,
I am not afraid anymore,
drawing boundaries and barriers to my spirit,
dimming my outer appeal and channeling my intuition inward,
I choose peace.

Take the "La" out of Label for they are more than a diagnosis,
They are fathers who have immigrated to a new country while hiding the schizophrenia they battle just to uphold employment,
They are mothers who sustain households while silencing themselves for their family's protection,
They are sister's who step up and raise siblings while charading stability,
They are brothers who mask realities to rejuvenate positivity,
They are families that have undergone generational trauma to pave a path for a brighter tomorrow,
Disabilities - mental illness - mental health - are not deficits of identity; they bolster morale and resilience in the BIPOC community.

These are the students that fight the notions of normality to reduce the stigma,
These are the scholars that rewrite the narrative in pursuit of decolonizing the education system,
These are the individuals who are representing an ever-growing population,
These are the souls that have abilities which surpass the medical  confinement of their disabilities.

You struck a chord the moment you entered the vicinity,
Captivating all that crossed your path,
The stride in your step coupled with the pride held in your respects,
Unified by the reverberance of your allure enchanted most,
She was not fooled by the glee celebrated by the free,
Naïve she once was only to awaken to the taunts of the mistaken,
She exits from all viewpoints,  
Holding a guarded heart with precarious intent.

Now she scripts her story,
to comprehend a broken promise you led her to believe.

Left stranded she sits with empty wishes,
reality shifted and demasked the charade performed.

This truth weighs down harder with each passing hour,
demystifying the future she thought known.

Trusting their situation,
she had fallen prey to the captivation,
from this illusive trance she wakens,
and realizes she was mistaken.

Within my grasp yet beyond my reach lies my beloved,
Whose eyes illuminate the darkness I yield,
Whose words hold captive my conscious past reason and rhyme,
That is the snare that traps me.

This fulfilling void I've come to embrace bears the essence of times forgotten,
Hidden alone in the ruins of dreams broken I reside,
Within the means of prayer and composure I sit and meditate on a virtue,
To transcend the physical and join the formless to meet my beloved I try,
I collect and render a feeling that my heart that will lead me to decide.

They come in a myriad of sizes,
Their skin ranges beyond the rainbow of complexions,
With hair graciously flowing amid an array of textures,
They are beautiful as they are,
For who they are,
& what they represent.

Entrusted with sovereignty they set sail,
Prepared to face the threats that lie beyond the horizon,
Responders to the call of the weary are they who defend our fortress,
Mystics and heroines hoisted to battle at the drop of a flag,
An alliance to marvel by all in the land,
Legends are they whose sacrifices sustain our livelihood,
Its power vested in communion.

Simple and serene she contributes to the conversation,
Raising awareness and destigmatizing stereotypes,
She is a humble soul,
A heartfelt bundle of potential.

Coasting along the interstate the sun trickles down the horizon,
Bleeding into the land darkness casts its cloak on the land,
Moonlit fantasies decorate the skies as she shifts her gears to surge ahead,
Euphoria of the ride engulf her mind's eye - matching heaven's every stride,
An endless wanderer,
Lost in the journey's mayhem.

Head held high she stares into the abyss,
Her power and beauty is beyond measure,
For words fail to compile a description worthy of her being,
The fine lines mingle with hidden secrets in blurred perceptions,
Her femininity is vast,
Beyond that received by the naked eye,
Identity vested within the lineage carried by her stride,
She is a woman worthy of her pride.

a stranger to all and family to few I stand before you,
unknown and masked in anonymity my pen speaks volumes my voice could never reach,
today I lift the veil and show you the woman hidden between the lines,
introductions.

A gamble of will we duel our hearts in an arena,
Tried is the match in which we wager personifications of emotion,
Unknown is the end where we place our bets,
Risking it all on infatuation's roulette,
Entrusting one another amid poker faced facades,
Weary are we who foolishly tread the tables,
Striking a loss tonight we walk separate paths.

She carries a past painted with murals of adversity,
She treads towards a future adorned with jewels of potential and prosperity,
She upholds responsibilities with dignified clarity,
A consolidation of the contributions of those transcended,
A goddess embodied; who leaves even broken hearts mended,
Her generosity embarks on a triumph unfolding.

Stranded among deserted dreams she folds her hands,
Prayers whisper in weakened ears as her punishment beams,
This reckoning will magnify throughout decades for her exile awaits,
A lonesome retreat for a somber song,
Broken soundtracks repeat reconciled tunes,
A sanctum of regret welcomes her remorse,
For deeds cannot be undone and the words spoken stung;
Ghastly hours await.

Shatter the mental snares that claim your mind solemnly,
Break free from the cycle of repetition that endlessly subjects you to karmic toil,
Cleanse your aura of sin to bask in radiance as your soul shines purely,
You are an essence from beyond.

Kneeling at the shrine she pays respects,
Acknowledging those before her and the universe beyond her,
Grounded in humility she stills her mind,
To bolster discipline and refine the conscious,
Welcoming grace and bliss from divinity undefined,
Celestial vibrations sync to her prayer's call,
Moonlit gratitude summons heavenly hues,
A moment of fortitude and reflection,
Sheer tranquility engulfing her surroundings,
She is basked in the beloved's protection.

Alas it was but in that moment, when your soul cascaded into the night sky, that I understood what a goodbye truly meant. A chill crawled down my spine as your body grew colder by the minute beneath my touch; a solemn awakening on my conscience as grief greeted me yet again. This familiar path I feared to embark on again has resurfaced, baring with its somber recollections - I witnessed you…finally at rest.

Her arms would never turn the corner to greet me as I landed from my flight,
The warmth in her laughter shall fall to silent ears as the house ceases to echo,
Those eyes would never challenge the radiance of the sun again,
For it was in this moment I embraced the season of change, the art of letting go.

Letting go is a natural part of life that arises in manners we may never consider. May it be a goodbye placed upon a past lover, a former roommate, an old apartment, even a job site - goodbyes signify the end of a chapter. 2023 bore many moments of letting go for me as I relished in the art of departure. I lost my grandmother, the woman who raised me. This emotion was overwhelming as it marked the beginning of her legacy that I am now adorned to live. I have encountered many moments of goodbye this year: moving states, a heartbreaking end to a relationship, ending a program, seeking a new field of employment, ending a friendship - the list is exhaustive. Yet, it wasn’t until the passing of my grandmother I truly recognized the beauty of letting go.

The art of departure entails embracing what once was whilst creating space for what is to come. Letting go is freeing yourself of expectations - rather having abundant expectancy.

Sun-kissed moments dancing across memory lane,
Wind bearing whispers of dreams past,
A lifelong promise broken upon a summer love,
Seasonal were the conditions of his infatuation,
Temporary was the forever she had mistaken,
Young remedies await.

The fork in the road nears as we prepare to go our separate ways,
This journey we shared in unprecedented times steadily halts,
Leaving the future to create distance among us,
A bittersweet departure lingers as I watch you take off,
Understanding it'll never be the same,
Letting go with every step you take in the opposite direction,
This is goodbye,
to the hopes we birthed,
the dreams we forged,
and the memories we shared,
this is goodbye.

She pours her soul into his void
hoping to earn space in the suitcase he's made of his life.

She watches the nights turn to day as their conversations melt the hours away,
learning to embrace the imperfections he's paved his path out of.

Boarding his flight he leaves her astray,
Leaving but a final kiss upon a broken promise for a future now dismay.  

If in the twilight of memory he meets her once more,
she will sing to him a deeper song.

They stand like folding memories,
rising to bid the conscious farewell.
in this illusive state she ponders,
praying for the retention of a familiar.
sigh.
each exhale releases an ache,
for its return is unclear.
holding onto a thread she walks,
following a trial of fear and wishes;
together. it's a promise.

The scripture recited harmoniously was once a collection of disunity seeking clarity,
the hymn illuminating worship was but a misguided prayer given direction,
for the devotee of truth was merely a traveler led by lies.

Evil is good deprived as sin is a deed misguided,
wrongdoings are not but acts of oblivion as harm is to an interpreter's call,
light only cascades when darkness prevails,
and lessons can only be taught when mistakes derail,
oppositions engulf our beings as we factor their cause,
a melody is but a discord discovered - realized in flaw.

Internalized mayhem stirs within your being,
Storm clouds brewing in your mind's horizon,
A scatter of recollections and discoveries surface in your conscious,
You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts,
This banter hangs in the foreground of action as you contemplate your next steps,
Treacherous thoughts,
Disconnected mind,
Heart aflutter.

Blinding and radiant the sunshine trickles through the windowsill,
Bringing life to the shadows as it kisses the surfaces surrounding her,
The rays bare news of a world afar,
Reminding her of a beginning anew.

It was misguided attachment as you were broken and I was shattered.

We brought our shambles together and crafted what would have been forever.

Yet I awaken to a reality more fickle than fragments my memory can bare.

An epiphany manifests in the wake of her devotion,
Celestial hymns strumming in her mind's silence,
Eternal melodies paving a path to beyond,
Transcending mortality,
Relinquishing the shackles of karma,
She escapes samsara.

Lavender lingers to mask the hues of the wounds inflicted by memories of what once was,
A somber retreat past the stratosphere is where my heart now seeks refuge,
Away from this dismantled construct - the fantasy you led me to believe,
I sit solemnly to listen to my spirit and how it yearns for the beloved,
The distance enforced left me astray,
Now my days are painted in lavender as I hope to heal,
Brighter times of union and divinity,
Of peace and prosperity,
Filled with redemption and revitalization.

Stuck in a societal routine she hustles a monotonous 9-5,
Shuffling through days that melt into weeks,
Awaiting to escape arbitrary rituals - she seeks release.

the trials she fails scatter her decisions -
she harbors quiet chaos in her mind's wake,
fathoming a reality unfit for spoken prose,
a truth vested in ambitions stretched; striving.

& now I know this life is mine -
to embrace the change that awaits,
& relish the beauties of the vast world,
capturing the essence of the everlasting,
this is where I reclaim my solace -
& now I know this life is mine

Change is constant in the impermanence of life.
This transcending realization strikes as the sky stains yet again with whispers of blue,
A new season dances into the horizon,
reminding all to grace its arrival with humility and fortitude.

Reckless and carefree I pursued my beloved,
Without a thought I entrusted my spirit to his prose,
Only to crack at the seams at his departure,
Put a leash around my heart for I can love no more,
I mistook two moments of affection for a forever,
Ghosts of his memories lurk in every corner of my conscious,
Restrain my emotions for they know no more;
A momentary lapse of judgement.

Carry me once my feet give out,
When my will slips from my being and I lay frozen in life's meadow,
For my voice will silence and my thoughts will still,
I will reach serenity in your arms,
Carry me home,
Where formless is our identity and the current merges our souls.

Aimlessly the wind blows carrying the cloth across the seasons,
Soiled was its surface that was cleansed with the nectar of redemption,
Clean is its slate that's used as we enter the new age,
A welcome opportunity of rebirth and renewal,
Draped on the line basking in warmth and rays,
It dries with promise of better days.

It was a somber retreat that walk home,
The streetlights beckoned her every step,
A haze of doubt and suspicion lingered in every corner,
Guilt climbed her spine and caused her to shudder and pine,
An endless agony of mistakes foregone,
Perched upon the darkened doorstep she now steadies herself,
Bracing the confession afoul.