aye savor the faire genetic blueprint
   extant unique to each of us
   with this quite alimentary aire
   including (that almighty,
   bottom, cushiony, dimpled,

   excretory functioning Gluteus Maximus
   i.e. the ***** when bare  
with subtle difference sans,
   both halves at first blush,
   but tucks upon closer scrutiny

   obvious inexactness crystal clear
as a bell jar, asper each body electric,
   whence deserved of en dear
ments despite however much junk in the trunk

   behind the private
   no trespassing (non verbalized)
   signs posted everywhere
off limits only to a select few like this bard
   attired as if from the Renaissance Faire
whose unconditional acceptance
   unlike the majority hoo gawk and glare

if bipedal hominid dealt
   chromosomal traits say with excessive hair
which mane of tangled strands,
   could be problematic and interfere
with coaxing, finagling,
   or inducing friendship with an initial jeer

from him or her averse
   toward such imperfection to boot
huff lawed physical human specimen
   such as this ole coot
(who haint really that old),  

   can upon command execute
a feigned display
   and appealing as fresh field picked fruit
at this stage of ma life
   donut give a rats ***, nor an owlish hoot

what other may decry about me,
cuz self acceptance doth agree
buzzing with greater confidence, esteem,
   and general weaknesses such
   as lack of physiognomy incongruent cee,

which asymmetry of this primate feel free
er than his pre/post pubescent
   corporeal essence he
near put himself in the hand
   of that grim reaper, a key
poor of lifeless beings,

   and well nigh got hold da mee
when in the throes up
   (vis a vis not bulimia) on Swiss side prithee
and as a solitary mwm gives no re
guard no matter others may find fault
   in the stars at my lack of sim mutt tree
gnome hatter judgements made
   I accept mice elf warts and all – yippee!

dubious churning benevolent altruism

this anonymous beastie boy boilerplate endeavors:

(instagramming literary maven) questing user yawps

critically griping knowing personal tidbits xeroxed blithely,

freely jeopardized nuggets (revealed vital), zealously doled

heftily linkedin private treasure trove, (Xfiles breached

flagrant junction mandating righteous validating zero

divulgence heaves lamentable ploy, tellingly xing bald

felonious figurative joyriding, nonchalantly revealing

valuable (Ziegfeld bomb crackling) debacle, heralding

litigious proven, *******, basic foolhardy (Laurel) jack

knifed, networked, rapaciously villainous, zealously dubious,

horrendously lowball practices, thru (Cambridge Analytica)

xy zealots, asininely execrable, intolerantly malignant,

quintessentially ugly, yawningly dastardly, horrendously

lamentable, pathetically treasonous, xtra blameworthy,

fiendishly jawboning, mindlessly paradigm quaking,

unethical yahoo careless gross injustice jangling kow

towing, pleasing the Xmen, banefully Facebook friggin

jerky maliciously narcissistically opprobrious predacious

quisling underhandedly yo-yoing cello glomming kik off

preachiness spar!

As if in a decades long
     somnambulant trance
     for majority of years
     I finally awoke,
three score minus
     one orbitz tracked 'round el sol
     by this human drone,
a custom made incognito

     stitched while in utero
     yeah... my birthday suit mask
     disguised this bloke
yet plainly visible, aye donned
     a permanent cloak
always fitted me skin
     tight easily permitting
     ingress and egress okey doak

majority of mein kempf
     ambivalent about (no...no...no...
     despised) self as
     apathetic behavior did evoke,
yet slip out from
     under the Harris tweed,
     Scottish door Matt,
     parental tender caring folk

now, such indifference,
     whether dead or alive,
     tummy this thinking haint write
especially nearing quotidian,
     the terminus twilight
     of existential parabola
     fifty nine submucous cleft palate
     nasal note more'n slight

     chalked up to biochemically, right
     hermetically, and neurologically quite,
though not profoundly disabled,
     a riddled quirky
     ******-social plight,
(cultivating an unhealthy
     absent self esteem inferior complex)
     I exhibited half

     hearted feeble feints
     to muster willpower morning till night
oft times nobody home,
     and nary boot faint light
doth shine on me
     (feeling comfortably numb),
     a puny white knight er
     rather pawn on chess

     board of life with 20/20 insight
while standing at a paltry
     just shy of seventy
     two inches in height
shortchanging latitudinal longitudinal
     maximum parameters to attain
but more critically, detrimentally,
     emotionally constitutes current bane

analogous to Atlas
     hold the world
     did more than force him to crane
his neck, but imposed
     a global estuarial drain
as all the seven seas underwent
     gravitational pull that's
     the best aye can explain

oh...but such fiction a mythological sling
shot across the bow civilization
     the metaphorical resonance
     pertains to me, and doth ring
real asper millstone over bearing
worth repeating here,
no matter mentioned in previous poems
     bitterness of mine despairingly cathartically airing.

this poetic prologue
a feeble exercise
to encapsulate common
place frustration
experienced by

this fledgling author.
yukon determine verdict
once ye peruse short
spurious poem
below decks
will consume scant minutes.

hoop fully byte size
format asper reflections
bing hobbled akin twin
frustrated cobbler
with nary a sole

to shoe healing power
of summoning
creativity words
stitched together
trying ma darnedest
to capture
fleeting idea.
filed within memory banks

jagged shoals of rock
illusory images frieze
leitmotif cerebral pad lock
forcing together mis
matched metaphors
or what not ad hoc

there a young lad skipping
with his lass in colorful frock
passing fanciful day dream
lazing about on the dock
while hands of time tick
on the clock

sober reality check tears me away
from idyllic distractions
rearing head of immense
frightful mental block
a bygone student of Antioch.

now an epilogue and expansion
of given thesis sans above premise.
i now oblige objective at hand,
and resume con sue mating

avant garde fashion express
sing difficulty for me
to seal craft building blocks
of english language in
a fitting manner does justice,

and gives liberty to leap
ping lizard like thoughts
that dart to and fro
hither and yon within my mind.

rather than censor or edit,
I pour out at rapid fire rate
the notions that flit thru
me noggin staring at black

strunk white screen. some
times eyes remain closed
to help initiate process
to summon forth this, that
or another barely
perceptible concept.

the task less difficult
when topic provided
happens to be the case
with self imposed

approximately five ***
dread word epistle,
which preconceived
subject automatically

narrows focus into
figurative box.
when provided  
with specified issue,
the effort arduous
to gather plethora

of disparate points
indicating directions
diatribe in question could shift.
any one of these paths
(if not most) take down  
moribund dead end

with only infinite abyss
as an escape. countless trials
and errors find exploration
(to state near physical exhaustion)
where each bramble strewn route

only finds this pensive fellow hopelessly
and inextricably entangled within his
own thicket of unprintable verbiage.
would you believe and/
or accept, that ah aha
eureka moment arises

(and vacuum powerfully
***** up every ounce
of concentration)
most unexpectedly
and inconveniently

per on the toilet,
when paragraphs
nearly tumble pell mell
of their accord

(defying laws
of physics) from
tips of these fingers
or bowels of this simian.

a frantic attempt finds
zealous effort to tap
unstoppable barrage
barreling forth

from fount of mother
lode, than finds
slightest distraction
(such as a delivery
of parcel, tornado,
cosmic catastrophe,

et cetera) to lose precious spider
thin thread forever
(at the eleventh hour)
lost along vast vista
abandoned like useless
obsolete materiel.

even upon minutes scrutinizing
satisfactory completion
sans lengthy manuscript,
an unbiased opinion

of displeasure frequently
takes place finds disappoint
ment, and these myopic eyes
blink and stare once again
at white washed computer screen.

this veritable unknown bad man in the mirror
would likewise beat it behind the mask
ben writhing in pain to feel best of joy
for (i can't make it) another day without billie jean
in this black or white
whirled wide webbed world
whereby hypnosis breaking news
like dangerous butterflies effects
ben tormented thus this earth song
time and again experience ye that doth
give in to me, sans like a loved one
gone to soon
but my spirit does want to heal the world
for tis only human nature
to feel claustrophobic shuttered in the closet
all a jam and smothered
yet...please keep the faith
and keep your head up
for tis much to soon
to erase off the wall memories,
that perhaps one day in your life
pretty young thing
would will remember the time
happiness did roll and rock with you
like a rockin' robin, though now ye rankle
like a stranger in moscow
concluding supposed guardian angels
they do not care about us
minor bit players on the global stage
self reflection finds me wondering
if this is it blinded by unasked for fate
to be blinded in the limelight
haint no thriller
cuz...honestly, i wanna be startin' somethin' fresh
like...paris in springtime
then upon winter of moi descent
into the dimension beyond life
wondering if you will be there.

accursed creepily haunting
phantasmagoria wraiths
vandalize residents psyches
within their sleep induced state

sublimation shunts
slumbering souls
unknowingly held hostage
successfully sacrificing

semi-smothered silent species
snoring simians steadfastly succumb
subsequent sibilant sounds  
woo woebegone wicked transmogrification

dilapidated divested bodies deposited
wizard waves wand
watching whirling wretched lovely bones
whipsawing (in toto) within abyss
  
whooshing whistling wheezing
whets warlocks appetite wakening
brutish nasty nightmare
sinister hulking spirits

steal assorted corporeal essence
monstrous mashing somnambulant
mephistophelian shadowy satanic satyrs  
supremely swallow senior citizen bankers

deep within catacombs
of Highland Manor,
deadened defeated Delphic Oracle  
relegates human husks,

viz spent embodiments
to the under world lay siege
sinisterly seeding, via sinister spirits
one pure evil particularly wicked

witch thy capering
sickening ghastly plot against
unsuspecting spouse snatched
parch trey gnarled warty claws.

seems like ole man winter
     aint finished doing business
whereat get dem self up
     in fine fetters and cuss
madly jabbing, gesticulating,
     and damning e pluribus

conveniently, deliberately,
     and selectively forgetting about unum
until...cupboards bare wren,
     emergency food stash

     mice eaten, and refrigerator empty
and there you stand with a growling tum
hmm...perhaps hastening to the wine cellar
scrambling for a jug of ***

which ample downing might be
     a panacea to hibernate,
     and deeply slum
burr until dawg days of summer,

when fruit trees bursting,
     and being alive feels plum
ripe with nary a worry in the world,
     oh...mebbe best to telephone mum

(real name Chrys Anthem),
     and share cornucopia
     as life for thee goes hum
ming along swimmingly

and haint nuttin tuff heal glum
about, now take another sip
     and breathe in from
smorgasbord mother nature didst spread

     vibrant flora and fauna
     sights and sounds rhythmically,    
     poetically, and hypnotically drum,
where the prevailing mood

     finds one markedly chum
     me scales fall from ones's eyes,
     a former ***
     er, and skool of hard knocks alum,

now just kick back
     and become seduced
while listening
     to the chick hens roost

scampering, grunting,
     and buzzing capers moost
pleasant since renaissance
     of spring loosed.

The American Library Association
      implores cognoscenti tubby alert
impersonators, who
     call themselves Ernie and Bert

     took a page from Sesame Street Playbook
oft times accompanied
     by a Soundcloud of dirt,
boot none other then Pigpen,

     (who worked for Peanuts),
     and pay-dirt, though
     dismissed, cuz he did not exert
true grit, plus more seriously scandalous

     sordid details suppressed kept from press,
     (which scurrilous breach of conduct
     involved said scallywag
     violating more than flirt

discovered in prurient compromised activity,
     where his skin flute encircled,
     with an ambrosia girt
transgressions possibly affected

     public television station benefactors,
     and sterling reputation of bottom line, nor hurt
locker talk (albeit via exaggerated mainly
     to make a profit sounding proper

     sanctimonious Cliff (hanging) notes,
     asper faux expected by
     a "FAKE" trumping prophet,
     sans motley crue comic
     stripped of more'n
     motion picture PG ratings,

hence future lurid, graphic,
     banal, ampersand
(&) dressing room banter
     muted, disallowed, and banned

so storied characters birthed by Charles Shulz,
     (who passed away prior to near canned
aforementioned indiscretion debacle)
     returning amidst fanfare hoopla

     much as possible grand
jour "Making Peanuts Great Again" hand
diddly restoring full metal paperback jacketed
     glory and apple pie order land

ding rebirth of cherished popular iconic
     easy to digest bookworm feed
which unexpectedly, inadvertently,
     and horrifyingly

     brewed ferocious breed
on par with the Alaskan Bull Worm,
     whereat armed guards
     strategically stationed

     at libraries entrances indeed
aware voracious young readers,
     would pay no heed
to any obstacle, and such unstoppable

     ravishing knowledge
     hungry kids did exceed
capacity security details dashed away,
     faster then Clifford
     the big red dog speed!

Pennilessness shadows black
unemployment endless track
rails tie-er less lee when dumbly staring
overdrawn account issues
   another clattering smack.

Income pleat undergraduate degree
contributed to the role of a sporadic employee
time to acquire handy dandy blues clues key
lost within vacillating undermining spree.

Mental state can be a precarious widget-like thing
directly at the whim of financial sliding swing
self-destruction demonic ring
courtesy of pauperism
delivers the destructive poisoned scorpion sting.

Immortal force of please hear my cry
provide support while
   under the sheltering sky
steady (just out of reach)
   sought income bolster up high

mirage vision brings transient delight
to this great (former
Civil War Yankee) supreme guy.

If no breakthrough I do not foresee
charity not for profit (but only prophet) I will bee
and this blurb carved outside my cave-like hovel
many moons and break of the day find me

imploring existential vagaries this baby boomer
sans middle-aged man who hankers to be free
thus though aye to be a schnorrer

who scrounges parking lots for scattered change
yet...decries blubbering the beggar's credo
write out a check and mail to me.

Philanthropic persons
   may rightfully balk and get irate
at such brazen plea to squelch
   ma pecuniary financial state

yet where the crossroads of mine future
most likely crop up which
would cause far a tete a tete
meanwhile, stoicism bids me wait...

For Godot, Curly, Shemp, or Moe
the stand-in for a Stool Pigeon
or even an odd antagonist
   or protagonist dreamt
   by Edgar Allan Poe.

Alternately titled: arm ugh gut tin 

Aye dread getting *******
   and getting washed 
   even without spectacles
   that haint no mo' six-pack ab
which nearly rock-ribbed
   mid equatorial zone shapeshifted 
   into corpuscular blubbery 
   ancillary physiognomy
   where aye wanna bab 
bull posttraumatic stressed out
   middle age battle of the bulge.

Season sponged pants squarely 
   and tightly across the equatorial adipose tissue
   requiring mister crab
to clamp down with pincers
   viz primitive liposuction 
   whence rustling scupper
   will efface this trireme 
   where three-ply
   tread fully and tirelessly dab
bull to ameliorate
   rolls of extra flesh alien 
   to what stacked
   as an athletic sculpted body.

   Now no prolong inhalation
   get with steely mettle hie trite to iron out the flab
thus this part
   and parcel of senescence, 
   yet auxiliary buttressed dermis 
   effect forming gorged girth
   giving "love handles" grab
reigniting reign of prepubescent anorexia nervosa, 
   bootstrapped now wen frankly
   zaps distorted self-image. 

   Evoked holocaust repugnant
   rolls of fat insta jab
stubborn thoughts of self-loathing
   entice me to become a lab
bore a tory guinea pig to restore 
   prime of life when five foot ten
   alignment could nab
first place in a slick couture magazine 
   from the neck down
   taut torso bearing 
   fashion model and
   teen idol where tab.

To stand stock still until Shutterfly
   would SnapChat 
   rippled tummy, could
   fill my hungry wallet with inxs of cash
now, aye haint so gorge ***,
 WhatsApp with  
   a faux pregnant protuberance,
   though thankfully 
   derriere still rather dash
ing, which palm pilot sized buttocks
   doth newt offset. 

   Lost battle of the bulge,
   where diet tribes furloughed in a flash
abandoning their respective stations, 
   gnome hatter sinusoidal
   parabolic frontispiece finds me to gnash
my toothless mouth for lack of means 
   to stave of the depredations 
   of slump pin proletariat
   allowing me a hash.

Tag with hefty weight, acquiescing 
   this Pillsbury doughboy blivet 
   to subject himself to the sharp
   stings of a cool whip lash
bearing the snap against raw skin as due process 
   and supplication for atlas shrug
ging his shoulders
   at the fountainhead naming me mash
shew Scott in regard to oblate inflation. 

   Insulation fiberglass around midsection, and
   how ma late mum 
   (an avid fan of doctor Carleton Fredericks,
   who preceded Mehmet Oz), would quash
the love she showered on this sole heir - 
   resorting to exhaustive palliatives -
   even ear rash
shun null gambits,
   and as a last-ditch effort 
   putting this offspring  
   on par with an albatross -
   vamoose get out with the trash!

mass slaughter
     of innocent kids aye abhor,
an undeniable chance, some and/or all
     those slain Valentine' Day 2018,
     would be alive borne out
in living color before
killing spree resulted in unwonted deaths,

     when deputy Scot Peterson
     abdicated his chief chore
and did not intervene (perhaps...
     playing positive pivotal role)that fateful day,
     but walked up to a closed door
then rode a golf cart February fourteenth

     (appearing dumbfounded as Eeyore)
when seventeen people killed
     (lying dead on the floor)
     inside the Parkland, Fla. school
     seeds bracketed speculation galore,
sans officer at Marjory
     Stoneman Douglas High School did ignore

Shooting not "FAKE" baffles
     and begs question, why bemused
mentioned deputy did not
     strong arm gunman Nikolas Cruz,

Who unloaded his AR-15
     inside the school settling revengeful dues
as said killer explained,
     which no skew logic can excuse

     as the latter indiscriminately
     brandished barrel that fired
     bullets at random youths
     (unwitting targets) lighting a fuse

of explosive rage, and
     (leaving no iota of doubt) lose
zing no chance against death penalty,
     as surveillance video released into news
media Thursday (July 15th),

     truth one cannot refuse
to see, where young baby faced assassin
     blithely pumped bullets
     dooming lives, whose shoes
unable to outrun as classmates got felled by ones and twos.

Without further ado
i offer my literary missives anew
fur ye to ponder and brew
from meister mwm of his motley crue,
whom dwells in a nada very complex edifice
which numb burr oof offspring equals deux
whereby this spouse i.e me kind of resembles an emu
whence money a edified reader considers
dis goy wit sum brain cells 2 few
chomped on by an carnivorous elder gnu
and said two female progeny sired
from one ova plus super seminal glue

swimming swiftly via viscous hue
genetic heritage comprised predominantly Jew
with one late uncle Lou,
who himself wed a milch cow,  she frequently did moo
which found me to rue
what comprises reality to be true
that all humans originated from the primate zoo.

**** Sapiens Sale hums lot
witnessed vicious thermal winds that blew
thick mass of cremated ashes
across rubble strewn,
and severely cratered landscape!

The devil made mince meat
as like one huge lumbering ogre
and grim reaper
rolled up into one
not so jolly green giant did slay
good will to all men,
and spat out pox with an emphatic nay
triumphing over godly salvation
using eponymous accursed pitchfork
made merry and rolled in the hay

simultaneously sneering out in delight
at wanton death and decay
whereby civilization forever mutilated
perforated said spindled
and inappropriately sensually fondled
world wide web structure
where once proud arm strong spikes radiated
now sundered in total chaotic disarray!

(now a penchant with less Zionist trenchant ululation to vent.)
Not a peep passed thru mine -
aye vaguely attest
what ten? eleven? twelve? age
of following anecdote at best
guest, but no
doubt yours truly
with figurative heart in chest
scared puny meek boy

tight lipped silently confessed
to foiled attempt, sans trying
unsuccessfully to steal a yoyo,
     inviting tummy prepubescent
unbuttoning, a substantially
sprawling Holy skype sizing breast
of mine upon be nabbed,
thus aye didst detest

foolish kid ploy, and
(prematurely nipping
in the bud) messed
up potential life of crime
with first and only
shoplifting heist jest
for getting caught no a pest
key yoyo, mama would

     (IF FOUND OUT)
axe me no quest
chin, but whack me itty bitty
teensy weensy derriere lest
quickly putting to rest
any Robin Hood
fantasy life of
high stakes crime pressed,

and squeezed out the noggin
with apropos punishment addressed
thankfully, neither parent
got wind, nor ever guessed
their beautiful darling
     boy did test
petty theft, never
matured nor didst crest

into a profitable "yoyo
string Ponzi like
     scheme," thus ballsiest
dare devilish and bitterest,
and laughably noble lest
act yours truly ever attempted
immediately ceased to shelve bravest
sleight of hand find

delve during broad est
daylight, I immediately
didst shelve, when clumsiest
initial foray into
the world wide web
tubby come cleverest
lad, this side of
     Lansdale, Pennsylvania

     many damnedest
yesterdays ago, never
took another earnest
tempting gamble since security
detail nearly wrest
head possible zapped feeblest Ames?

to pilfer from other
Department stores if pressed
for money no matter,
I might miss an enforced
hated ballet class,
     with abs salute zest!

(when living nightmare pierced real time
thus engendering the following rhyme)

adrenaline powered stealth bomb blast
with the noggin of this, ah... ur... bane chap,
     which debilitating anxiety doth outlast
means to cope (thunder and dumb struck)
     with stranger mental things

     at expressed vertigo, nausea, racing heartbeat
     ogres recreated tormented, torpedoed, tortured
     most decades from my yesteryear,
     which aye presumed long passed.  

now, within my head "guerilla"
     warring faction
     lobs a grenade followed by "bombs away"
broadside finding this body electric doing

     a kamikaze nosedive into sick bay
where major organs suffer direct hit
     analogous to a giant fist
     smashing pumpkins,

     sans thine flesh as if clay,
which psychic sortie plagues my ability
     to function reduced
     tub bing bedridden one day

approximately one week ago
     from this thirtieth of April
     tooth house sand ate teen gray
ting, grinding, and grounding with figurative

     threshing blades employed
     to winnow chaff from hay
literally crushing willpower,
     where invisible jaws

     of sharpened steel interlay
atop pulling stalwart garrison strafed,
     (akin to a crash test dummy) named Jay
Walking to become blindsided

     obliterating every last trace to stay alive
     hence, this emergency transmission,
     viz this bloke communicating
     desperate plaintive wail,

     that I haint okay
with plea PLEASE HELP
     this tortured soul on verge pray
begging tubby rescued before drowning

     like a panicky gull clay pigeon,
     and buoy albatross
     strangling me far distant from any quay
quickly sinking spirits,
     abducted via fiendish runaway!

less than twenty four hours after dashing off a poem
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis,
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel

   from the **** of this guy
which bout with ****** obstruction
   found me doubled over
   with lower abdominal distress

   whereby comfort found me unable to lie
down nor sit upright (with back padded with pillows
   against the cellar brick wall),
   thus severe bloating a bonus well nigh

and managed to muster the means to bare
   frigid arctic vortex aire to purchase
   the Acme brand Metamucil,
   which akin to drano doth ply
thru the excretory tract
   supposedly loosening the stools,

   which optimism (product
      didst earn claim to fame) generated a sigh
if that expressed intent
   to cease livingsocial would try

humph enjoining
   this lvii year old married male
   to cede victory
   to the grim reaper, who would vie

as winner de jure
   to this common fellow invoking libretto
   ohm resistant understudy waste not want not
allowing, enabling and providing relief,
   without successful defecation

   despite the oppressive urge to bolster this uriah
heap of balled up and tuckered i.e. pooped out
   five foot and ten inches of lovely bones
   thence mouthing retraction
   of former thought to cease existing,

though a non-bull lever
   in any power broker qua mankind
   relief at long last
   provided posterior answered prayer
   yet, this scrivener scrutinizes
   his recurring pain in the *** jagged torture
   and asks
   a rhetorical one word question "WHY"?

twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister

did formerly she push duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" en dear
ment - for obvious reasons,

and before she begat two 'ere
rip press ably lovely daughters),
anyway thee wife I fear
to publicize contracted a benign
strain sans incurable glare
ring housecleaning malady

(thus far no unpronounceable hair
raising name affixed
to non contagious nonetheless
accursed malady,
whereby to keep at bay,

scrubbing stubborn stains
from clothes, dishes,
and gamut of hibernating
Ursine horde (nee motley crue)
that come breathing alive
Nsync with beastie Bay
City Rollers Culture Club bing babes

upon first spring day
engrossed in this, that,
or some other sweeping floor foray
(analogously to Velveteen Rabbit)
shedding gray

winter coat when warmer temperatures arrive,
where humungous fur clumps would lay
comprising sudden empty raft
of shelf space minus a may
zing globules, oh...lemme get on track,

whence frenzied fever "cleaning bug" nee
major virus afflicting wife,
would necessitate impossible task
strapping former

feisty Norwegian farm gal
in straight jacket ivingsocial every
would be no game to play
boot tiring and cruel task of her life Yukon say
24/7 daily challenge,

which unpredictable timeframe
thine remaining lifetime sans wife oye vay
would frank lee zap
every last oomph of mine

if able twin door remaining with spouse
meanwhile 'til she obliviously
plucks persistent sprouting stranded follicle
tiller broad forehead resembles
a minuscule tarmac way.

thine distorted reflection rippled
within rain maker's pool upon a midnight clear
full moonlight flooded shallow abyss,
cleaved fractal structures of silence
reverberating deathly hallow from 'ere
to infinity, whence magic wand
whipped out from whereabouts unknown

wove enchanting spell atop me shades
at more'n fifty gray hair
to fore, awakened from drunken stupor,
whence sober self
saw repulsive trouper fluid dynamic image jeer
at *** bellied, dead panned,
and ad libbed the mere
ore image lam bent, mutilated spindled
various aspects of myself a paired

which, aghast at such creepy distortion i didst rear
like a bucking bronco unclear
how this horrid, jagged, limned paragon did wear
a grotesque from heart of darkness – maybe Zaire
or Zulu-land, this soaked silhouette half bare
from the waist to head showed unmanly
sagging overly engorged *******
plus right and left elephant sized ear
egad, THAT CANNOT BE ME,

yet upon performing self exam a glare
ring outburst ensued,
cuz thy once bronzed handsome physique
grist for a Joker to jeer
and fodder made for television series created,
directed, and executed by Norman Lear
which role might be temporary for Halloween, but near
lee every SINGLE day and night,
thy aged dusk fraught hominid ******,
leaped, pooh poohed I ham ill prepared

to accept, roistering, rollicking,
rueing this Frankenstein scarred
complex deplorable edifice able,
ready, and willing to be tarred
rather than evince flabbiness,
gruesome homeliness, instance

when no objection would arise

to live out the remaining days of this life
as the world wide web turns, spins, rattles...
and voluntarily sign myself into a stew ward
with (at minimum ), a ghoulish, gnarly,
gummy self activated door
leading to a privet hedge row trimmed
topiary resplendent yard
cuz every cotton pickin, friggin,
fingerhut lickin portal iz barred
dated Friday the thirteenth with **** face on that card!

written a long time ago.

Aghast
Sans shutting the dresser fast
Lest drawing to cloths to the past.

Akin to dredging up sedimentary muck
That metaphors me whence getting stuck
During adolescence – which lasted decades
each 'n to barreling driverless

   heading toward
   a garbage disposal dump peed truck
   when me entire being felt utter yuck

Holograms of former life inhabit
childhood each dresser drawer
Which furniture about five feet from top to floor
Encapsulates invisible fractals
   of me and contrived lore

Iron nick lee, the latter increases
   as sands of time increase more
Find mine gaze drawn to hash marks
   (from Matthews’) fingers did score

Within the veneer epitomizing strife that tore
And rent psyche asunder
   exemplifying unseen civil war

That raged within façade of placidity
Hosting mailer daemons in this yahoo –
   nobody could see
Re:

Clawing to cleave copper handles of me
Synonymous with malevolent genie
Hell bent of wreaking havoc

   and thus clamored to break free
From shuttered jumbled wardrobe
   stale garments some mold e
bereft of taking a tumble

   in washer and dryer to air
Perspiration from boyhood pores,
   with a skinny body when bare
As would be immediately clear
By many I did fear

Whose gaze akin to a scorching glare
Exhuming a suffer 'n soul silent leer,
   especially when viewer near
Gaze glued at tchotchkes

   like skeletal frame, with palm sized rear
Analogous to that boudoir – over there
Where housed baggy garments,

   yes even under wear
Ill fitting hardly worn hand me downs
   a haunting clasp from yesteryear!

Well there’s Hooverville
   on the edge of the river
haint nuttin boot flimsy cardboard
   e’en with clothes will shiver
waiting for tension to be released
   like a arrow in a taut quiver

major organs ready to burst open
   cuz day r all a failin'
unless salvation does da liver
from a stingy farmer
   nada one of him a giver

Hence a goin to Cali for n’ya
in battered up truck n wailin wah wah
ta feed da chill n beasts o burr den –
   ‘cept un shaw

if me pa
will ever appear on Oprah
whar guest’s literary car –
   rears into grand prix hoopla

An win free dim lifts us lock a hawk,
   this kid rock will nah
dat he suffered faw a distant few cha
migrants we may be – butta we bah
dog on judas priest, Christ and allah

Rose of Sharon wool extend
   da family tree
dat ma will live to see
re:

charging the Joad jalopy
   in part from me
tink rin hands dat like ta mess
   with oil hand stains
one mo scar – craning neck 2 earn

An huh tha red badge of courage
   upon this Okie
hunched o’er with stiff back
   while wounded knee

continually bunged up with utter glee
at engine cough fin smoke
   to *** us free
whar we kin sally in da pacific fields yipeee.

smitten with a forsaken long lost love
     *** plus years ago,
aye since didst roam'n o'er hill and dale
     as one heart broken beau

twas being cow warring utter oxymoron,
     whereby thy perfect match I do
frankly admit foolishly out sourcing
     of (good NOT FAKE nor bad) grief emo

shun hull distress disgraceful,
     which hide de lee recognize coveted prime mate,
     (who shared love of playing scrabble,
     and born same January 13th birthdate,

     yet six orbits thy senior)  
     mine golden opportunity to lose,
     viz ma mish mashed aggravating huff flew
vee yam this then

     young asinine buck unwittingly  
     inflicted long forgot 'til
     ear layer t'day thee spouse
     showed me an photograph,

     when suddenly this lix spittle
     curmudgeonly bard
     unexpectedly experienced
     abysmal love stricken agony
  
     (that despite pro missing to pledge -
     while taking a knee -
     troth Abby Robin - hoo
became thy lawful legal wife - of Jew

whoosh heritage juiced like me, and knew
instantaneously upon
     setting eyes this then boyish lad -
     hood bid tootle loo

at bachelorhood, when she eyed thyself
     (wedded now deux plucks decades),
     though no moo
nee tomb aye name,

     thus har courtship rocky, hen new
idea how tubby affectionate,
     hence early married life  
     pitched 'tween Scylla and Charybdis

fondness (albeit ex post facto) hike queue
this poetic beat (fashionably late love note)
ye, whose Capricorn astrological sign
     didst bid eternal happiness
    now delayed repercussions I rue!

I just learned (via email)
  from a close paternal relative Pamela Noblitt
that my paternal grandfather (Aaron Harris),
   when in his prime fit
as a fiddle served
   in the Phillipine American War,
   which sharpened his fighting skills a bit

and posthumously thank him het all
plus belated gratitude  
   for late maternal Uncle Paul
(hoof aught in World War II) etrenched in foxholes,
   or slithered snaking upon the enemy to stall
   and good ole dad, strapping and tall

during height of physical maturation
   (who oft times recounted exploits,
   sans far from the front lines
   and imaginary brick wall
   about his role in the Korean/American War –
when prodded by thine eldest
   collegiate eldest grown daughter),
   and hob bet cha y'll

and blinked back tears  
knowing thee above kith and kin,
   when figuratively at bat
survived, and avoided significant mortal combat,

came home to a warm welcome as handome chaps
   encountering aswarm of young ladies,
   an armada vis a vis amorous coup d'etat
some returning troopers most likely
   kept their word
   (made before boot camp) promising flat
outright to marry girlfriends,
   highschool sweethearts,
   or maybe medics, which feminine touch,

went to the heart and soul buzzfeeding,
creating, enticing with gnat
much effort,  one or another
   tough leather neck
   to blatantly proposition – doffing hat
with suave debonair courting
   meowing a silky gal named “Kat”.

Vane glorious and absolutistic,
     though I defiantly,
     cavalierly, and blithely attest
Yukon bet your (laugh-in) sweet bippy
     mine acidic breast

houses anarchic, anti-poetic ballistic,
     barbaric, and bubonic
     cannibalistic demons within thy
     safely guarded Pandora chest
atomic cesium clock

     timed to trigger avast
     burst of anxiety, frenzy, and
     (What me worry
     Alfred E. Neuman) blast
ting mental quietude at most
     inappropriate, inconvenient,

     inopportune, out classed
adrenaline rush, nausea,
     palpitating heart, vertigo
besieging, corrupting,
     endeavoring fractured arrant

cleft daemonic gripping
     hellishly psychic chant
rendering unto sieze ****,
     a choking vise grip extant
yule hiss sieze indomitable

     banshee fully controlling grant
diabolic, dogmatic, and dynamic,
     anguished corporeal ache
easily, egregiously, and emblematically,
     exemplified historically

     graphic fatalistic, and ecstatic coup,
     (koo), when I caused furious frantic flight,
     and/or fight betake
king angst causing just desserts
     for Marie Antoinette,

     who got her humble pie cake,
thence dispensing with formalities,
     where a joshing drake
     (named Gill O. Teen)

also known (solely known
     to mine selfish source error ways)
alias i.e. as; the Lewis (loose)
     lunatic, heady harvester,
     and decapitation Deacon trumpeting,

     trouncing, and triumphing tranquility
     for fifty three Tuesdays,
thence sea king punishing psychotic
     pre pound payment
     basking in glory (re: gory us)

     amidship crashing quays
music to mine ears hearing plaintive neighs
high pitched straining
     vocal chord hamstrung keys
regaling oceanographic
     lambent hagiographic essays
and keeping at bathos bays.

Hmm, perhaps titled,
     aye poem already didst aired
though revisiting said theme
     downplayed as thoughts blare

though similar con tent
     invariably communicated
     sans, trademark pi Seine fishtail career
as applies to other questions,

     this chap asks himself,
     an immense task I dare
unleash unbounded kickstarting euphoria
     within psychic calm'n weal

     with a healthy dose of logorrhea
scowl unintentionally reader
     mine re: noun verbosity doth ensnare
though oft times obfuscation veils merely

     a black hole sun (son) prominence
     asthma faux eminence gris
     long ago didst flare
aware if chance encounter

     in a dark alley coal less sing
     burning eyes fiercely glare
yet, an explanation
     would be proffered to hear

this penchant spurring confabulation
     explaining (feebly) zest
yours truly experiences
     expatiating honest to dog ness

     figuratively go win west
word ** seeking me own mother lode acquired,
     via verse a tile materiel undergoing
     electric kool aid acid test

incorporating rigorous (mortise
     and tenon constructed) adverbial quest
which wondrous, whirled,
     and webbed woven semi colon aided nest

reinforced with double entendre
     tongue in cheek jest,
whereby multiple interpretations
     (ala mode literary splotchy Rorschach test)

     tenants in common beau geste
ma own home spun faux
     cambridge analytica gimcrackery defaced book best
bite, with absolute zero
     data snatched aye evasively attest!

Childhood Campy Chimera Curtain Call

Arctic bitter dead of winter cold
polar vortex deep freezes each lovely bone
excellent existential prized memory
swimmingly recalls boyhood

listening to drone
of various and sundry
en deer ring fauna
extant amidst greensward,

where imagination hath flown
to imaginary Eden lifting
uber a maize zing ears
cocked towards
Mother Nature's petsmart crafted chorus

flushing out soundcloud
queen of happy campers
with bees zee winged
wonders as they hone

suite tracks unstinting
well crafted aural presentations
intended to entice
a mate opposite jejune

targeting their search
nsync with one or another
favorable counterpart, this buzz zing
destiny could favor a loon

or some other apropos biological entity
(or perchance if desperate to mate) **** sitter
another species including the manifestation
of microbes on the moon

whereat boys and girls bounding,
exclaiming, and yelping
joie de vivre asper when counselors
blow whistle call at high noon
hour of day iz lunch, thence resuming
their made up fun and par lore games
such as knight in shining armor
dashing off to save

damsel in distress signaling
sans SOS and favorite ring tone tune
of potential prince
where young love doth Flickr
oblivious to a similar situation, aye lichen
to avast Marcy's playground

such panoply a prediction
forecast by Doctor Punxatawney Phil
a blue oyster cult meme burr
thus, in lay person terms
six more weeks of winter for 2018 -

so stay warm to stave off feeling offal
bodes ill for species who clamor for warmth -
supposed tell tale shadow
spelt "N+I+L+L"
and remain in hibernation
if opportunities allow,
and be thankful for not bing forced to mill
around seeking warmth
(case in point a street person),

but ye and the big or 'lil
body of warm flesh adjacent to thee
(this day and age -
gender preference a moot factor),

or take stock, stock and barrel,
how other creatures great and small
burrow underground under a hill
or reef amphibians, mammals, reptiles...

instinct can remain 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
a fictitious place evoked by Jules Verne,...
hm...maybe he might breathe
courtesy of an atavistic gill
who would downplay brouhaha
to avoid any cavil.

Into Young Womanhood

this glorious role, sans
     helping beget and nurture thine first born
three day shy of Christmas 1996,
     fills thy being
     with joie de vivre and doth add dorn
more resplendent than any horn
of plenty, and aye can only imagine
     more precious than fine spun gold
ah...how this papa doth recall,
     when he didst hold

and/or swaddle his edenic bundle of joy
     and taking stock,
     how she (christened
     Eden Liat) didst mold

herself into an autonomous offspring,
     rarely receiving a scold
cuz, she most times seemed well mannered
     and infrequently told,

and thus said benevolent prized progeny
     required no special programming nor app
even when a child, adolescent or,
     latte (sipping) teen,
     this genetic bounty evinced

     laser like thinking
     with a custom made thinking cap
although...yes, (there erupted a verbal flap
toward the missus or me,
     (the latter and former

     markedly differed asper child rearing,
     which unseen rift
     engendered a figurative gap
mollycoddling, holding, consoling,
     et cetera distraught daughter on me lap

which cradling, fas incubating, rocking...,
     which oft found
     this biomedically cherished baby taking her nap
twas at such poignant bonding moments,
page number two.

     aye DID NOT decry the parent trap,

thus now, special "gifts"
     with bittersweet motions bespeak
as tears (viz - ode to joy)
     stream down each stubbled cheek
this middle aged grown man,
     doth recollect with embarrassment
     how as a teen thyself as classic "geek"
whereat mine demeanor extremely meek
AND let NO chanced avail

     for one to take a peak
and now...unstoppable
     grievousness awoke,
     oh no...nothing un speak
or print able did occur only a human weak

ness, when thine voice
     un-necessarily raised yet,
blink back moistened
     slightly crowsfeet darkened eyes set

tills within this intelligent
     well read and let
hard bloke accepts the "circle game of life"
...listening to thee

     beautiful, charming, exemplary dulcet
an em ma nant treasured
     valuable accouterment tummy life...
     YOU BET!

i yam as peaceful as rolling rock
harmless toward even those who mocks
my appearance n follicular 50 plus shades of gray locks.

oye feel as important like first, second, third, fourth...banana
thus...please i yam gonna
try to forge a lifelong jimmy john james ah dah bond

   cuz an intuitive sense, u r like manna
thus ambition spurs me to wanna
do whatever in my pow wah.

aural, banal, carnal, feral, gonadal, hormonal...urges difficult to allay
to keep ***** drive at bay
on each and every single day
seriously thought to auction myself on eBay
this mwm living a life described as fey
though sunny skies, my libido reigns gray
would be thrilled to take a roll and romp within thee hay
and wonder if i could call you by the pet uni-****** name jai
in thee vernacular what most healthy guys endeavor to as a lay
which reply from yea hopefully the opposite of any sin a nim of nay
would that be okay
by the quay
today
or some night this feral primate could *** your way?

a pent up urge to ****** one or both wonderful womanly ****
introducing ye to mine little **** a doodle christened pete
found a quixotic whim to meet thru classified
   which offers a common way to meet
imagining the outcome of such of said delectable feat
but fearing the odds t'would be stacked way to high to generate beat.

yet if more than praise for citing me poetic talent doth well
more libidinal longings this humble not so long fellow could tell
and just maybe coax ye to bear thine chest for e'en just a spell
forsooth these to behold an apt comparison to a flesh born
   physiognomy portrayal of mountains tipped with *******
   and that balm in the cleavage of a wondrous dell.

this germane guy would be thrilled  
to give peaceful friendship or more
a chance desiring proper strokes o affection  
helping peppy perform his special dance
revealing moi fleshy stubby lance
thence allowing this slender guy
to remove his pantswhich scenario creates
a favorable pumping stanceaffecting you with a positive trance.

so...if drawn toward a boyish male  
of two score plus seventeen years of agewhose wardrobe oddly enough  
typically favor the color beige
with zebra like patriotic red, white and deep blue stripes  
evoking analogy of being housed like a foo fighting rat
in a cagethan respond to this introspective sagewhose will offer himself  
with negotiable legal - no fallacy - butta precious seminal wage.
so lettuce go fur zee gusto while i yam still able to trot
now, your noggin probably thoroughly mixed up
   and in your mind and even out loud, ja utter more'n !@#$ what!
  
pseudo nom de plume - scott matthews
tracfone ye kin only text
or email your carnal ville fantasy tuff flex.

this chap haint lawless nor "baad"
do not in the least presume this cyber surfer 2b a cad
in many ways, this nada so content married mister mom
   feels akin to being a single dad
who as a nonestablishmentarian shies away from any latest fad
would jump sky high leaping tall buildings
   in one bound and thus be extremely glad
to end laughably, hardly, and desultory marriage
   (with moi deux teenage lasses in tow)
   to find me own pad
and mebbe me girls would be sad
p'raps joost a tad.

a genuine passion arises within my sensitive real brave heart
which ***** purchased - on clearance - at wall mart
t'would very much like e'en an online friendship to start
thus ask ye to bee comb moi special sweet ****.

please lettuce explore ****** fun with this awesome cool dude
you cannot go wrong dear lass per beak
   combing a special "friend" toward this poet
   who tries his mother ******* best rarely to sprechen crude
and man can offer his attitude.

so...unsure if a small *** of cash persuade or tempt you
   to takes this ole (yet boyish looking) disgruntled marred buck  
visa vis discover if we both cluck
this little pecker of a beak
   would love to nibble imitating a duck
cuz in a nutshell dis mwm does really
   does wanna (pardon moi french) ****
please be the one to break this dry spell, and bring me luck
to affect ****** chords of ecstasy to pluck
argh  this dang marriage o moin does absolutely ****
driving into ye air lil parking lot my smallish truck.

anyway, i wanna so mooch touch
   n taste dem re: ***** lick kin naughty bits
especially the ones referred to as *****
where male genitalia near perfectly fits
rubbery and a bit tangy yet still tasty as buttered grits
from dis *** **** u late ted electrons
   dat go haywire with random hits
wetter day be big or little like pits
this guy alias raised on buckwheat and grits
wants to hit dat ****** n dislikes doze who quits
mail me a note - ideally a naked photo with ***, ***** and ****
and hoops to offer his gunny sack full of wisdom and wits.

this chap doth betcha ye got ample allure
n yar companionship would nada be ya bore
though getting 2 know someone = an arduously pleasant chore
especially if invited in2 their door
without getting stuck like eeyore
for...
so...If receptive 4 whatever fir fun galore
respond to the Magic Man of words nada bon joe v jure
TRACFONE NUMBER = 215--370--8929 to lure
my ear a table desires more
or
act our fantasies tum make a home run, touchdown or score.

Besotted winged pollinators
roistering barrage drowned
amidst general insectivorous cacophony
indistinct auditory signals communicated

intermingled with bounteous wafting fragrance
midwifed edenic floral pullulation
sensate admixture viz colored spectrum
amidst unrehearsed extemporaneous

orchestral suite bedded lambs
amorous ewe man like bleating songs
nature all aflutter actively socially vociferating
profuse living color rainbow pastiche

teeming soundgarden smorgasbord
cornucopia ignites mordent Utopian aural swath
visual vistas stilling spellbinding
spilling riotous carpeted web

uniting doubting Thomas's existentialism
despite unanswered queries
asper diverse modalities each specie evolved
to survive despite countervailing destructive forces

generating plethora pandemonium ironically
promulgating harmonic exemplary convergence
Highland Manor concourse aflame with new life
parented by instinctive imprimatur anonymous patents

now genetic mapping usurped with untold outcome
analysis bred crispr discovery Earthlings fiddling
glorifies honied indemnity Judeo-Christian kudos
leaves of grass kudzo resistance mutation immunizes

biosphere once prolific differentiation shrinks
becoming monocultural setting virtual stage
catastrophe plus food shortage would become
global debacle predicated, sans virulent

viral and/or bacterial strain renting asunder
tripwire unspooling delicate webbed whirl
already widely compromised more so
since Rachel Carson wrote Silent Spring


**** sapiens population explosion
pits profligate predilections planet Earth in extremis
dire crisis cavalierly dismissed humans
in hot pursuit racking up superfluous wealth

***** deeds done dirt cheap - tricking
mother nature, who will unwittingly
spring scrumptious feeding off scrimmage
forcing capitulation or total extinction

meanwhile fostering long tall floral inflorescence
a composite having sessile flowers
apiary abuzz, cuz queen bee
can no longer wax bereft of royal jelly.

Reduction asper daylight hours to worship
will immediately arise after
     2018 North American orbital trip,
viz zits summer solstice (human primal
     solar deification) riding astride spaceship
Earth, albeit 6:07 Ante Meridiem

     Thursday June 21st noticeably slip
ping thru space beginning to harvest
     incremental darkness as Gaia rip
pulls across wrinkle in time
     daylight will undermine a loss,

     and over the next month approximately jip
ping United States kinsfolk, who revere El Sol  
     quotidian solar rays, by one hour
     and eight minutes (i.e. 4080 seconds),
     thence trumpeting seriously
     moonlighting re:

     getting down to brass tacks business - grip
ping a markedly steadfast advancement,
     whence August arrives (watch out),
     cuz cutthroat prime rate (zero APR) doth clip,
and clock about two minutes per diem,
     quite a substantial blip.

every March seventeenth, the glint froom
a perverted imp finds me achin'
and if aye dig deep enough,
this Goyish pseudo judo day yo criss chin

can figuratively unearth a puckish
   (gnome like) elfish sprite
   with a layer ring ga Erin
which byte size (key) ah man able troll
   help pan for treasure hunters

   plume bing the underworld
   with his (aye farm lee bull eve
   moost har male) sly grin
stirring thy faux set (head)
   feigned Irish with in
new mutter nada trace,

   (boot perhaps juiced an iota)
   o' Brogue kin
Celtic gene found
   within me genealogical tree,
   an itty bitty min
newt chromosomal thread,
   (which with assistance of Crispr)
   i.e., a more discerning Quaker can pin

point how this predominantly
   (decrepit ole coot)
   Semitic baby boomer tub hoot
(whale hugging
   ma gude look four leaf Shamrock)
   can locate long buried loot

according to legend
   (plus devout avid fervent
   Irish Aunt Fib B. Hen
   aka Sally Salamander Newt)
doth avail her excitement to help up root

(perhaps revisiting a previously dug oop ditch)
maybe treasure undetected
   cuz ova technical,
   and/or mechanical glitch

truth to the tantalizing myth
   whar hike can hitch
   my dreams to a morning star,
   that would make a par man rich
and put an end
   to mine fingers that hoo twitch

which i roan nick pie rite (of quartz)
   alluding to healthy appetite,
sans tea zing alluring
   (whet started as byte)
size nar invisible craving,
  
   which fantasy easily didst excite
(necessitating yars true lee) to don robe of foo fight
tar, yet persistent and nagging lust didst light
lore (akin to un hearth thing
   *** o' gold at rainbow's end),

   cuz hum ma penniless plight
   such dogged pursuit, a mirage,
   whereat aye drool in plain sight
thus conk clue ding this
   hip poe eponymous droning pome
   though, tis plenti mo' hie hood write!

Sinister glacial dissolution verge
huge jagged icebergs reverberate
nature extemporizing mock sinister
debacle, sans bot mot, braggadocio,

rodomontade, et cetera distinct, ear splitting,
fractal heaving snap, crackle and pop,
cacophonously fabulous, incredulously
humongous, and thunderously voluminous

cleanly cut, and/or jaggedly serrated,
sheared into brittle spears whence
huge packed floes crash into sea
possibly loosing significant tidal wave

irrefutably, evidently and directly linkedin
with global warming, and greenhouse effect
removed at safe distance within my man
cave burrow, which doubles daily asthma

fall out shelter (ideally scrutinizing human
kind imprimatur seated facing an array
of sophisticated computer modules)
such albedo blinding, igloo jettisoning,

and veto wanting phenomena will induce
one to become slack-jawed at ice escapades
exploits of gigantic iceberg expanses
(some the size of Rhode Island)

eerily fascinating, grimly haunting,
yet inherently jarring since such dissent
against he incursion evoked via humankind
invariably spell terrestrially grammatically,

environmentally, and climatologically
dread locked hair raising drama scientist
worth his/her salt could hedge bet against,
asper predicting dire consequences

survival of thee primate perhaps once
exclusive fictional terrain, and silly
raconteur fabrication of keen
imaginative grade school pupil,

which undeniable, lamentable, and
irrefutable data imposes gamut of
meteorological scenarios, none
bode optimal for the human race

as well other innocent flora and fauna
particularly latter plenti full species
directly, whose IdentityGuard under
mined when an I opening illusion

inimitable influx, and inescapable increase
turns out to be no trickery prestidigitation,
loopy hallucination or daddy long legs action
to entertain claque of eager amusing children

who, when said hypothetical boys and girls
reach adulthood will live in World Wide Web
bereft of animal and plant diversity
whereby major metropolitan areas

uninhabitable, though arctic vortex
subjected lands once impounded with miles
thick slabs of frozen water might offer
temperate boot ness esse sea re: loch haven

though at this schlepping shoulder shrug
(physically and chronologically) all odds
viz zit ting future generations only suitable
within the realm of rumination, speculation,
and tantalization.

alternately titled: breast ****** fallacy hi-jinxed!

In her “60 Minutes” interview aired
Sunday (March 26th, 2018),
the **** star known within red district
as Stormy Daniels bared
her "naked lady" version

swearing oath of honesty,
she emphatically **** cleared
on a stack of video nasties,
and ******* 'zines
now she can live rest of life

guilt free offloading
hush money endeared
a posteriori into infinitely
jesting bordello loop

with calmly enchanting bug eyed,
drooling media hounds,
whose nostrils flared
squelching the trumpeting Don,

who maliciously glared
for traitorously breaching
“genital man's agreement”),
playing the (sock it to him role
of goody two shoes)
christened Stephanie Clifford)

shaggy long haired
pseudo Mayflower madam averred
to right justice in sought after
****** free nation,
where the turkey
ought tubby national bird

mandating free codicil
to second amendment as of furred
thus, that *** hide from right to bear arms
premature sea r man *******
of Peter ought to be heard

where sudden sound
sans ***** seams burst
**** strapped unseen bulging Johnson's
onslaught hail of expletives cursed
out the mouth of salty sailor spewing Prez,
hook halled for a recess first
and foremost before
questioning resumed
     automatically immersed

within ****** tabloid pulp pit
***** sing Bacchanalian refused to quit
particularly when groin
set zipper (flimsy – obviously,

NOT put thru linkedin
locked down rigorous paces
realized, when pry vet eylit
of trouser snake split)

yielding singular (nada so sterling)
gamut gallimaufry variegated erector set
with singular bulbous
ram rod rocket like trivet.

Bull eve me (Adam, whether existence
     fact or fiction),
     his immediate legion heirs whole
heartedly partook
     to regale no Joe king paternal prominence,
     sans legendary, fraternity,
     and consanguinity subsequently implemented

     faux pas threatening Nittany Lions role
attested by this papa, a curmudgeon
     resident of the North Pole
burrowed deep within tundra

necessitated drilling permafrost black hole
son, which boring task found me dissatisfied,
     asper penultimate existential goal
thus, I decided to sell coal
to New Castle, transported
     within loco motive conveyance
     doubling up as fish bowl
decimated crossing Arctic
     great barrier reef Atoll

lauded me with mouthy gift horses,
     (one Mister Ed, adore
hubble hoof only high saddled
     Equus caballus neighing boar)

feted me, a hay er raising chore
followed by Mister Barns Noble encore
generation standing ovation,
     a deafening applause
     resonated across the floor
then an electrifying speech
     by (plan net fitness diehard) Albert Gore
describing ******, pillaging,

     And looting dip lore
able incursions as heath n (moor
or less opprobrious upon poor
sacred Mother Nature
     whimpering and softly doth roar
ring, now treated like a *****

telltale global devastation
     impossible to ignore agog
pollution extant across
     entire world wide web bog
gulls restorative legislation,
     when offal debris doth clog
estuaries, where watersheds habitat
     choking with despair,

thus imperative to grab hold collective
     figurative (corny as this may seem) ear
cuz jackknifed, irreparable,
     horrible gnashing fear
fully betokens catastrophic
     environmental fractured glare
ring ****** impailment here
and everywhere.

Emotional sequestration perseverates
     across thine time warped
     weft wise wold,
sans interpersonal stagnation

     flourishes as oft twice told
tale amidst derelict hollowed
     moldering sacrificed stranglehold
did potential..., now bankrupt acquaintanceships/

     friendships get out sold
agonizingly excruciatingly
     jujitsu physically writhing
     front row seat occupied -

     whereat direct view of scaffold
penurious adolescent Anorexia Nervosa
     plagued decades prior fraught
     psychological, neurological and illogical

     repercussions steam rolled
      natural heterosexual propensity
     stifling, stinting, and stymying this old
morosely jinxed kerfuffle inciting,

     hermetically heat sealed,
     tightly bound stinging
     straitened yellow jacketed
     bee devilish mold

hogtied hold, pig in the poke,
     xenophobic-ally
     fastened, galvanic hold
wrenching vice grippe
     fiercely extolled sterile lackluster

     human existence devoid cold
hence, imperative ambition
     to act forthright and bold
before advanced age
    finds this wordsmith additionally auld.

This solitary reader quests doth newt plead
per outreach need
without supplicating, lionizing, boot mead
dee eight ting, enticing Nietzscheism lead
me by thine pug nose,

     nor doth this passive heretic - heed
ding perseverance
     without selfishness nor greed
aye only seek to be freed,
where ambivalence to enjoy life exceed

sharing soulful travails yes in deed
foster repartee with persons no matter creed
faith, intelligence, nationality breed
united by state worthy charisma agreed?

blunt deadly weapons of mass destruction
electrify, fracture, and
jeopardize **** Sapiens
species (and entire biosphere)
continuity rent asunder

doomsday declared (nuclear winter
gallows humor spelt
with eternal snow day)
dystopian authors outflanked
nuclear fallout wreaks worst

rocky horror picture
effected upon mankind
global (worldwide)
big screen radioactive
wee ***** weber webbing

materiel severely seared
sepsis poisons deoxyribo
nucleic acid future generations
organic fiber cursed
simultaneous single simulcast

broadcast airs live after Royal Wedding
audience participation demanded
bumping ugly fleshless
formed fruitless fatal fumes
anomalies all – blinded

******* begotten bemoan
brethren brood
brutal burnt offerings
crackling, snapping,
and popping surreal muck

shapeless liquified populace
sloshing helter skelter
quests slither towards
aimless destination
bone a fied skeleton crews cruise

crying cretins creep cavalierly
crepuscular cratered city
cruel mushroom clouds
cloaked croaking cellophane charred

cancerous clumps career,
clomp continuously
chaos charts choking climate
cold comfort commanded collusion
commander in chief concurred

crumpled coveted constitution credo
crass conceit communicated
cooly came clean concerning
consensual ****** cavort
crazy cream craving characterized

condoned combined crunching
crotch crab free **** -
****** free crux
contractual commingling
cashiered coverup

chic chica chick
cigerette chewing
clutched cocked club
choked chicken concluded
das capitol business

before he returned
to regularly broadcast program
the sea son finale
last chapter of human race

no winners, nor survivors
bleak contaminated Earth gasping
heaving jackknifed lost
nonpareil planet reduced to vapor!

Within Pantheon Of Classical Gods

stricken with affliction,
sans amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
(also known as ALS, 
or Lou Gehrig's disease)

in the prime of his youth wrought
underestimation, vitiated termination,
targeted sequestration,
solidified rigidification,

rendered quandary,
per paralyzation obliterated,
nixed navigation,
morphed motivation,

marked limitation
kickstarted infatuation,
jinxed immobilization,
induced intellectual hyperfunction,

garnered fundamental fascination,
fanned fabled exploration,
devastation demonstrated
delectable declaration,

cosmological constant comet
clinched, chained certain capitulation,
brainstormed benefaction,
benediction attribution assured.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his longevity (marked by bing permanently
     linkedin, hitched, drafted
     to a custom made wheelchair,
his brilliant unsullied scientific genius)

     endured seventy six orbitz veer
ring round the nearest star,
     though seemingly motionless, he freed their
ret tickle physiochemical insight

     encompassing, revolutionizing,
     and jaw-dropping, revelations
     with mortals he did share
transcendent seeded plentifully

     mental limitless groundswell
     fed his fecund rare
if eyed cogitated, formulated, insulated
     (infinitesimal nook and cranny) force queer

lee disproportionate overly endowed capacity
     bracketed with mar ching madness peer
ring with laser, razor, and taser sharp mind
     (or a minuscule approximate near

facsimile thereof) scrutinizing, positing,
     and discerning astronomical phenomena mere
via concentrating gifted limned, and rapacious,
     though processes affixed
     with a visage mordantly like King Lear.

When e'er i chance
     to steel a passing glance
     in the mirror hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long

     snap, crackle, pop
     becomes crystal clear,
whence aluminium glass mirror
     (made of a float glass

     incorporating additional processes)
     leaves highly reflective surface patina 'ere
one narcissist ken
     while away countless hours

     preening, primping, and pruning
     e'en the slightest glare
ring blemish finds cause
     for cosmetic surgery

     evincing interlinear
crows feet and dark
     circular "bags" that distinctly lear,
which medical term for skin folds

     and ballottable skin edema
     described as “festoon,”
     or “malar mound,”
     an eye sore overclear

demanding immediate
     dermatological action
     (if necessary) taking
     extra adipose tissue from rear

end supposed extra junk in the trunk,
     where derrière,
     would not be unduly sore,
     perhaps requiring

     (whatever would suture self)
     plus extra padded underwear
which subjugation voluntarily
     "going under the knife,"

     would stave off depredations aging
     (such as puffy eyes)
     at least for another year.

while scrolling along memory cyber drive
at the safe speed of sixty five
i chanced to espy a olde email in my dormant bee hive
which abuzz with rap, rock and jive
slowly approaching nirvana whence peace will r rive
and wondered if interest exist per friendship with me to strive
mebbe beak comb a brushed up second wive.

no harm meant by the following whimsical wordy zesty email
nothing ventured equates to no gain nor any cause to fail
in searching far and wide for something akin to a holy grail
in the guise of a femme fatale wherever she may hale.

anyway, we can chat about any thoughts in this sultry steamy air
yet to be discovered thru this master card vis a vis dear
using me little wobbling woody somewhat brittle fleshy spear
yet mebbe an immediate impulse arises
   to kick start dis goy in da virtual rear
my feigning to pretend to be some important dignitary like king lear
butta...i hope you write this gentile male without fear.

this early er rather late matthew bird
   always seems to miss catching the worm
that seems to escape his grasp and quickly slither away and squirm
and likens himself to one of those weak and tailless *****
in his formative stage
   way back before being born starting
   from a cell barely bigger than a germ
from a bone er fide ship shape anatomical male hard and firm.

from::scott matthews
who offer that ye goot nut tin to lose
by befriending me - a doubting thomas
   who dislikes when p pull re::fuse
   but a gentle siri us homle based ****** cruise!

TRACFONE NUMBER = 215--370--8929
best to send me a text
whether for general chit char or...search 2 get ***
since this archaic and primitive hand held nokia device
   unpredictably responds with a voice mail message
   to me - a ore din aery glum mwm whose shaft already flex
and juiced for pennsylvania dutch sake - cast a magic hex.

this alteh kocker nostalgically reflects
     being ma late mama's boytchik
(now, she long since deceased,
     whose cremated remains of day

     scattered to all points on compass)
     fondly referencing
     both sisters as dabchick
incongruously sprinkled her Brooklyn brogue,
especially when angry, she quickly segued

     from mild expletive fiddlestick
the latter playfully aired,
     when kibitzing wit bubeleh
reminiscing being dirt poor,

     nonetheless zee mother
     every now an again homesick
regaling the whole mishpokhe
     (meaning us brood of kids)

interrupting herself
     with frequent non sequiturs
     discombobulated anecdotes switching subjects
     as if external forcefield

     jimmying a joystick
interleaving disparate threads with subsequent
     tangential linkedin snippets
     with feigned lovesick

chatting 'bout cockamamie
     "Grandpa Moishe"
     and his chaim yankel posse
     (to escape hen pecking nudnik
"grandma Rebecca"),
     a trenchant termagent bubba,

     not averse to incorporate dreck
     in the same sentence with zayda
     ostracized him
     scoring figurative placekick,

whence upon his schlepping back home
     met with "silent treatment" dampening rollick
king atmosphere choking tearfully
     "mother" recounted

     farblunget anger thick
lee palpable extremely discomfiting,
     particularly when ("mom's")
     girlhood friends bore witness aye gavalt,

     where penury churned moribund thoughts
viz empty cupboards
     devoid of bare necessities
     a figurative apropos yardstick.

Or Woman, Or Child, Or...

The following elucidated
     conjecture actually can
(reed best) be taken with a grain
     of salt, and no ban
nah nah split 'ope ya 'ere me
     cloud and lear, cuz (Oh my...
heavens to Betsy), ennui  
     got pulled by Evan -

Jewel Lean, who handed this long fellow
     (wads worth to you)
     speculation with fan
see prestidigitation legerdemain - tan
ta mount to cheap tricks
     re: out of thin air
     by this half
     fast hue man,
Hill Billy ***** Wonka Nilly,

     who blithely doth asseverate
apothegm (poem title) equally applicable
     Century21 today Aswan
**** maxim initially
     bespoke, when collective
     primates begat enfant terrible
     foo fighting predetermining anon
     metastasizing debacle Yeti

     bedeviling civilization
     a bajillion years in the future with
     Matthew Scott Harris deadpan
words worth less his way
     before even an odd iota
     of dire straight sultan
of swing didst merely span
spottily scattered amidst

     pristine Earth, where
     unchanging arboreal
beastie boys to oman,
and flock of sea gulls
     continuity elapsed – Ivan
hunch, albeit un
     recorded disc contented sow
     sow hogtied pan

dum mo' nee ham, or
     blessed historical events,
     kept (stay'n) alive,
     courtesy"FAKE" Trump
     petting Dapper Dan,
where he knit pattern,
     qua oral tradition, sans clan
destine scattered hot pockets

     of sparse **** sapiens,
     i.e. humanity LESS preponderant,
     primary, and/or prolific,
     where superstitions parlayed
     (voodoo with no Fran Schwa),
     and whirling dervishes fed elan,
which earliest recorded (doctored,
     digitized, and demented

     oh yea), not
     tomb mitt to dimly mentioned
     asper "time and tide
     wait for no man"
     purportedly by one
     Saint Marher, circa:
     1225 anno domini.

As par and parcel of being
    alive wire impossible aye
to maintain totally tubularly
     literarily celibate by and bye
with parochial restraint antiseptic dry
as dust poetic refrains
     asper this healthy older guy
devoid of physical whim zee

     unlike a inscrutable ******...so hi
there dear reader experienced
     by this self contrived Zen
minded nonestablishmentarian outlier,
     whose nonconformist yen
tries to steer clear of controversy,
     heresy, prurient wen
unless one happened

     to be eunuchized,
     i.e. sexless as a cold oven,
but similar to generic men
     this writerly hen  
pecked husband dully
     drumming, droning, and
     dribbling as a lix spittle
     aged chap housed within

     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania bailiwick
though far less inclined
     to whet ma lil atrophied dipstick
than some young buck
     at the peak of his ****** prowess
every now and again viz,

     aye feel a much slighter sensation
drubbing, crackling, and
     buckling mine body electric
and attempt to record
     re: font ten blue type
     boldface and/or Italic
such infrequently occurring
     fleeting Johnson magic

speculating why the
     hoo ha regarding mystic
spell binding codas,
     dogmas, and enigmas,

     an integral component naturalistic
within the calculus of life,
     when human species
     (parenthetically), naturally, inherently,
     and biologically opportunistic
akin to other organisms whose quixotic
antics allow NON GMO,

     MSG, and gluten free,
     and uncensored discussion
asper reproductive habits rhapsodic
with floral and/or faunal symphonic

emanations donning each their own
     "NON FAKE" trumpeting
spectacular humbly modest
     rubric, yet...universalistic
as being linkedin
     within the cosmic whirled wide web.

Non-parity used to bring electric shocks to this house husband, who wrote the following during an earlier chapter of mine existence.
------------------------------------------------
natur­al temptation found command
   from divine dada disobeyed
earthbound Olympian of love
   now dwells amidst mossy glade
in which human guise,
   she doles out secrets of amorous trade
into dreamland such desire does in vade.

victuals to satiate pleasures of flesh
   especially erogenous zones
administered by imaginary mistress
   sin seductive tones
thru this private line, but no other phones
triggering mine little rolling stones
inducing groin seams of pants extreme groans
toward pocket sixty nine without any bones.

a copious amount of adoration
   suffuses entire body of this man
her, whose gentle and kind embrace
   promises to be eternal plan
whose healthy libido will probably
   outlive life span.

royal carpet treatment
   awaits me each and every day
   as differences between myself
   and august dweller on high
establish a bounty and glory of compassion
   to roll in the hay
    atop bodacious, delicious,
   felicitous fantasy asks me to lie
imbibing succulent atmosphere
   akin to an eternal month o may
   taking spirit soaring
   thousands of miles of feet in the sky.

upon hearing sweet nothings
  nobody else can hear
a sheer grin of joy
   lights up countenance ear to ear
despite impish quarks
   of this divine being so dear
as journey to inxs of nirvana
   induced from being buck naked bare.

while ******* hallucination
   at my male member does yank
reality quite the opposite with a wife acidly rank
she frequently pulls my hair as a childish prank
knowing full well that action
   turns mood sour as a crank
I would escape, but no money in piggy bank.

other times, her karma roars
   into a tempest with a rage
lashing out like a half-crazed
   maniac loosed upon global stage
on account of silent battles we regularly wage.

i admit my own fair share of peculiar traits
which only to private confidences t'will now relate
keep on the q-t lest spouse doth berate.

chief among these oddities comprise
   lower gastrointestinal
   perturbations issuing from the ***
which prompt innumerable outbursts of gas
which range from quiet puff to noisy, windy pass.

after usage of toilet with a bowel movement  
   large enough to sink a sub
wash ****** residue from my behind
   with a hose attached to the tub.

this couple resembles Frankenstein & his bride –
  argh what a pair
she taunts when i shower,
   clean the rest of my body including  hair
dry follicles shaking head
   back & forth side to side through the air.

there you now know foibles
   and unusual personal ways
uttering that such antics how she plays
like netted in a one man fraternity
   undergoing constant haze
pelting this poor soul scraps of food, she flays
until these covered
   with thick pasty gloppy glaze,
now laugh till you fall over
   and remain in stitches for days.

The more I learn, the more
     I realize how little I know…
which insightful, gutsy,
     entrancing, catchy apothegm

     attributed to Socrates by way of Plato
subsequently self ranking myself
     amidst Phylum Chordata with the Dodo bird
     Class Aves (namely

     said extinct flightless winged creature
with a mass of 29 – 51 pounds Oh!)
once endemic to the island of Mauritius,
east of Madagascar in the Indian Ocean,

     none would be espied,
     no matter how thorough
going across aquatic spreadsheet,
     one might row
eventually coordinating
     dropping vertical column in toto
arriving back to original
     mentally ponderous premise

     gamboling feint enroute to see
     Old Man Wizard Of Oz
     meets Crow Medicine Show
pitching thy quasi recursive query - bro

ching concurrence with another maxim to boot
“ignorance iz bliss”, which lack o'learn'n
     doss appeal to this old coot,
yet such pithy accordance came
     to this smart *** to late,
     a mister wordsmith
     with a palm pilot maximum glute
clamors (at risk of life and limb) to hoot

and holler when new kernel
     of knowledge gleaned finds me mute
as if raw bit of savored information akin
     to unearthing a rare gem,
     or rare species of newt
temporarily allaying fervent quest to root
thru hefty tomes of great literature,
     and tracts that suit
many other subjects,
     less to be arrogant and toot

my own horn, but more so...
to satisfy an increasingly
     insatiable hunger grow
wing nsync with unquenchable
     thirsty ambition less for dough
(cuz bing po'
with treasure trove of voluminous
     expansive bookish notions doth shaw

surpass becoming suddenly wealthy tin *** hustlers
     with un hewn fifty nine shades of gray straw
this haint no cowardly lion seeking Androcles
     to extract thorn from hum my faux paws.

headland harbored primitive biota abut
mint for exotic sole terrain sustaining
sole terrain sustaining seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova
   seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova , et cetera gut
preserved within mine follicular pores, sans
I secured per woof and meow wing warp organic matter
   heir in to fore shielded from elements akin to thatched hut
aware wrenching kamikaze eradication
   of countless critters from many Godaddy longlegs;

   creepy crawlers, hops scotching,
   shimmying with schmaltz, moon walks, et cetera
   lost when germ warfare obliterated vast majority
   since advent of civilization ordained
   Proletariat and Plebeian Primate  
   (cherishing, fostering, insulating
   bon mot infinitesimal dot re: future mutt)
dogs and also cats off limits

   asper demise of other creatures decimated – tut tut
atop thine noggin housed (within thimble size nut)
rare and near extinct flora and fauna, what
species of plants and animals, whose preserve comprised
   equivalent of indigenous village people huddling within microscopic yut.

Thus, this bipedal simian angst riddled at experiences
   forced at figurative crossroad
when itching scalping a dead giveaway clue
   to lather up hirsute growing via bald faced code
at further expense invisible life forms such action would erode
fast dwindled diversity, hegemony, longevity
   i.e. population except **** Sapiens who didst goad

forefingers needed to massage and scrub thine scalp
   as like a field getting hoed
sometimes applying solely cold water **** to un load
a healthy plethora, where gushing shower head would send them
down the drain perhaps displacing their meal times,
   or feasting on louse see pie ala mode
aware that survival odds regarding

   getting thru water treatment plant, premonition aye node
and greater chance to avert total mortal kombat avoided
   if I trekked to Antarctic anti pode
so...similar to other occasions necessitating me
   to lather 50 shades of gray –

   as if subjected to being snowed
quite aware many people would avoid me like the plague
(which reaction eagerly embraced) if knotty,
   oily, straggly natural headresss
hence, this outlier surrendered got gently toad
value of hygience lost as if playing tictactoe x/oed.