fast as a blitzen comet,
     this dashing prancer
     contra dancer
     (i.e. Rudolph nary hoof) didst zip

with cupid ditty toward his vixen wife,
     who loosed a suppressed yip
asper one discovering remains of the day
     from the donner

     (newt the majority) party whip
ping her olive drab camouflage attire,
     as if she hapt to be a vip
endlessly congratulating herself

     (and bow wowing her ego) bing awarded
     the housekeeping seal of approval,
     and expected me to tip
her gore gee us Martha Stewart déclassé

     snoop doggy dog rendition
     as she did slip
agilely (with broom and dustpan in hand) rip
peat head lee uttering

     an apropos Mary Poppins quip
booting muck can clear across to Compton
     (wherever that might be) pip
pin like a cat on a hot tin roof,
     where no cure existed to nip

in the bud at this stage,
     and rid thine beloved Narberth bride,
who caught a bout clean destine
     feverish frenzy to make house beautiful,

     oblivious to beseeching despair,
     sans this husband who cried
plaintively imploring divine intervention,
     lest extreme heroic measures

     need be taken, thus guide
me asap before her blistered hands
     rubbed red as tender (vittles) raw hide,
     which could find her catatonic, doggone

     ill eagle lee flying a boot
     like a bat out of hell, and stupefied
hence, this urgent message typed out in a huff
     for less severe invasive

     experimental treatment truly tried
on this, that, or some other missus so and so
     .....please pardon this abrupt end,
     plus initial idea wide

lee differing from my initial intent won
during how to write an elegy to mister son
describing, how aye felt enervated with run
hills of beaming solar rays, oh how none

synthetic drug to bathe,
     enhance, suffuse away mon
day moody blues,
     and now...gotta tend tummy hun!
(alternately titled random axe of violence)

I calculated an average
of ~10.16.... deaths per year
of mass school shootings since Columbine,
a morbid benchmark where,

iGen / Gen Z 1995 - 2012 bore significant hit,
now students require armed guards to learn - veer
really within purportedly "safe places",
which statistics tracks a unilinear

trend, and justifiably causing
absolute zero reassurance
countering alarmist state of mind dust tear
ability to accept rationale

dismissing greater probability
prevails lightening will strike loved ones,
nonetheless share
ring understandable expressing

rightful salient concerns with school board
quotidian possibility son(s) and/or daughter(s) rare
lee remain mum at every opportunity,
how second amendment does not square

with democratic e pluribus unum firmament,
lieutenant management,
quintessential reverent tenets
pointing trigger finger of accountability

at lax gun purchasing rare
lee does emotional uproar demanding
immediate controls, limitations, restrictions,
et cetera on firearms scare

the bejesus from stalwart National Rifle Association,
whence spokesperson doth prepare
convincing rebuttal (lock, stock at barrel) overbear
ring lee outgun legitimate

parental concerns, now near
daily occurrence hardly cause a flinch glossed
inducing similar reactions as
sports home team defeated, sans mere

slightly raised eyebrows while headline news
when another tragedy gets tacked
unto the 122 students killed since Columbine
took  innocent lives 19 plus years ago

which ho hum sacrifice of youth or teachers bare
lee induce ripple despite an increasing number
of spent bullets fallout inflicting
more than 208,000 vulnerable
impressionable psyches sorrows need a lifetime to air!
(alternately titled random axe of violence)

I calculated an average
     of ~10.16.... deaths per year
of mass school shootings since Columbine,
     a morbid benchmark where,

iGen / Gen Z 1995 - 2012 bore significant hit,
now students require armed guards to learn - veer
really within purportedly "safe places",
     which statistics tracks a unilinear

trend, and justifiably causing
     absolute zero reassurance
     countering alarmist state of mind dust tear
ability to accept rationale

     dismissing greater probability
     prevails lightening will strike loved ones,
     nonetheless share
ring understandable expressing

     rightful salient concerns with school board
     quotidian possibility son(s) and/or daughter(s) rare
lee remain mum at every opportunity,
     how second amendment does not square

with democratic e pluribus unum firmament,
     lieutenant management,
     quintessential reverent tenets
pointing trigger finger of accountability

     at lax gun purchasing rare
lee does emotional uproar demanding
     immediate controls, limitations, restrictions,
     et cetera on firearms scare

the bejesus from stalwart National Rifle Association,
     whence spokesperson doth prepare
convincing rebuttal (lock, stock at barrel) overbear
ring lee outgun legitimate

     parental concerns, now near
daily occurrence hardly cause a flinch glossed
     inducing similar reactions as
     sports home team defeated, sans mere

slightly raised eyebrows while headline news
     when another tragedy gets tacked
     unto the 122 students killed since Columbine
     took the lives of innocent lives 19 plus years ago

which ho hum sacrifice of youth or teachers bare
     lee induce ripple despite an increasing number
     of spent bullets fallout inflicting
     more than 208,000 vulnerable
     impressionable psyches sorrows need a lifetime to air!
an inner conflict dust brew
within this scribe, who offers ye to chew
(like sweet treats metaphorically) thee do
tee incumbent, when Doomsday clock
     counts down minutes few

according Al Gore rhythm  
     unstoppably ticking,
     when life gets turned to global goo
tenderized viz Doctor Zeus

     if not Horton Hears Hoo
then most definitely The Lorax
     (couching urgent morals underscored
     by satellite photographs

     showing melting icecaps or igloos,
which planetary sos, sans in extremis
     requires joint effort of Gentile and Jew,
plus every other sectarian credo,

     dogma, ethos...knew
clear family, and whatnot
     to become linkedin with Linda Loo
yes, we moost not forget

     Old McDonald with his moo
moo there bovine creatures
     agedly hobbling along, or new
lee born, cuz juiced one day

     per three hundred and sixty five
     (six with leap year -
     imagine dragons festooned leotard
     with brand name Oroblu)

or poor ole Whinny The  Pooh
eternally stuck in Rabbit's
     hole sum Hutch as a queue
doth loosely form dreaming up and rue

mien hating solution
     (burning the midnight oil) true
lee trying to remedy plight
     of said bear character,

     perhaps unstated message being woo
king in tandem solutions to resolve
     wretched condition of world wide web
     possible by bridging differences
     between me and you, and you, and you...
Congressman and senators forewent
all manner of civility, fidelity and integrity wii
hull ding broadswords, derringers
and exhibiting the right to bare firearms
as all hell broke loose as testimony
to the dire prognostication foretold

more than saber rattling and Gatling guns que
kind from lambastes, fisticuffs
and brickbats ratcheted up as agents provocateurs nee
said obedience to semper fidelis credo, coda and cock knee
stance when dire straits called for restraint

against excess versus raising cane old hickory
i.e. Andrew Jackson latched onto when opposing with energy
plus verve espoused by fellow delegates,
and his hologram ghost bloody

from battle scars outside and/or inside
the halls of government where blows bashed
dovetailed elected legislators to officiate
as angry birds viz brouhaha clashed
Federalist against their nemesis

of the twenty first century
during the term of Donald Trump
who throve on the cutthroat frenzied
internecine lawlessness dashed
to and fro, hither and yon

any hopelessness for civilians to escape bloodshed
spilled from without vaunted halls of justice,
the approach of doomsday
writ large as anarchy and mayhem flashed
with uproarious coup d’etat,

when Democrats outliers gnashed
teeth, and nonestablishmentarian outlaws
pistol whipped and hashed
tagged traitors who roared America
went bankrupt at sold at fire sale price slashed

when Donald Trump ran the country
into the ground evidenced by Molotov Cocktails residue
in concert with the sulfuric odor of hand grenades trashed
like some sorority or fraternity house
left the sanctified righteous West Wing

with powder puffs sans canisters
of pepper spray, whereby
most docile, humble, and liberal took a page
from playbook of Pandora, and took an aimless swing
at the root cause of melee by hurling objet’s d’art

at the pompous trump ping
Septuagenarian, whose platoons of goons
rent asunder peoples against their king
the donnybrook heathen, whose remarks
against libertarian rubric that made America great

wantonly soup peer egg go whist tickly
reviving prejudices declared dead
from yesteryear and his attempt to bring
back the glory days, when Whistler Blowers
getting water boarded and aching

deigning to implement dictatorship
of the Proletariat as a capital idée fix
weaving together, the salient strengths
viz founding fathers credo gave licks
to King George, and now in an ironic

twist and shout of fate through eclectic mix
basket of deplorables further shamed
by being routed by the New York Nicks
sewed jaws, heads of state, and dignitaries

with limping bodies spent like derricks
Oil used up and no place to go except
to keep Alice in Chains and
Alice Cooper Company with toys in the attics.
would what that be junior? senior? sophomore?

since this brother in law rarely emails,
     ye may scrunch countenance puzzled,
     or on verge of emitting flatulence,
     that if a ripper got let loose (by Jack),

     would possibly find ja propelled,
     thru Edgar Allan Poe's churchly
     sepulchral tintinnabulation
     (where for greater effect

     yukon envision imagistic ravenous bats
     in belfry resonating air,
or perhaps blasted back
     to the House of the rising sun),

     BUT...gnome hatter,
     no win tent may starkly appear
explaining inexplicable reasonable rhyme,
     why aye dash communique

    minus virtual trumpeting blare
(sorry, but in the interest
     of belated birthday cheer,
without computer generated imagery)

     rendered hoop fully readable,
     sans black and white Scottish matted pixels
constituting beloved appellation
     unsure how to address ye perfectly clear

while sitting atop padded office chair,
pondering as already writ,
     how to acknowledge thee, whither with dear...
meanwhile, this scribe experiences

     comfortably numb derriere,
now scrambling, resorting, and toying
     to fetch acceptable, catchy light hearted endear
mint, that seems tolerably acceptable

     (of course) with flair
acutely perceptive, though NOT overboard with glare
ring obeisance, NOR USE ALL CAPS
     TO SCREAM so ye kin hear  

soap hull ease excuse this incurable
     Harris scribe with thinning heir
yes...oye gevalt, infantile regression finds me
     burrowed in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania lair

still emotionally inchoate, though grown a mere
speck within the flotsam and jetsam near
to boyhood Collegeville abode NOT saved by a prayer
re: home companion bachelor Norwegian farmer

replaced instead by vinyl city
     all in the name of progress
which (once a pawn a time)
     open farmland did dis app pear

so...a gam bulling gambit
     to avoid moseying down Level Road...
may NOT seem queer
for insufferable sadness

     with eyes bursting with many a tear...
(gulp) tis best to veer
away from topic uh viz er rated razed homestead,
     and mainly wish ye another birth year!

adieu...from math tha hue
a limning rush of sinister
     fiery angry flames bent avast
analogous copse,
     where every limb bough, bore full

     roaring furnace hot blast
spewing weighty incendiary volcanic
     magmatic eruption out classed

Krakatoa, no longer the benchmark,
     sans most powerful trajectory arc
this latest supernatural phenomena poetic
     pre sent dent trumpeting not don
     shearing, slamming,

     and stripping off tree bark
(most definitely paging the innocuous Clark
Kent, where like loess lain
     during Pleistocene Epoch
     rendered, manifested dark

kenning shroud likened
    to world wide webbing em brace
where lava floes easily did
     (like a poetic souped up Chevy)
     out to chase innocent prey
smoothing over (akin to mason,

     or gigantic glazier) clearly shining deface
of planet Earth with a smooth glassy like face
though starkly barren, bereft, bilked
     every last trace of civilization
     nonetheless exhibiting amazing grace

which global catastrophic event poo tin brake
fast upon ONE haughty, egoistic
     arrogant Homo Sapiens chief drake
particularly Reich king machine "FAKE"

superman usurping free reign crowning himself
     totalitarian American tyrant,
     bare ring his right arms
emulating gesticulation sans dictatorship

     of the Proletariat make
pact with credo of Karl, Harpo,
     Groucho, and Chico Marx,
     where mortals DID NOT quake
especially empowered youths
     asper grassroots action they did take.
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