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Wynken Blynken and Nod???
(ah...oh methinks this pissant pooch woof lee
barked up the wrong tree –
reed don my mongrel friend)

This poetic endeavor doth not boast nor brag
to take digs on front page
     headline grabbing news, nonetheless dag
nab bit significant dysfunction prevails
     when ****** energy
     does shutterfly like a black flag
without rapid eye movement,
     this lix spittle chap

     feels like an old hag
whereat every friggin bone (er)
     in this straggly,mangy, and creaky ship
     of state feels like jag
head shards piercing thine flesh
     with pronounced jet lag
and reacts with
     the slightest provocation

     like a curmudgeonly
     cranky compromised nag,
yet, this muttering mouth foaming
     flea bitten doggone chow barker
     bows down in (toto) obeisance
     (like an obedient Dachshund)
     tail wagging, trump petting,

     and snout sniffing out provenance
     on par with the smell of new sofa despite
     fur vent angry ma
     stiff masta paws zing
aghast at dog eared, glom haired,
     and icky stained new furniture,
     how petty, versus slumber
     lest awakening the Cerberus within,
     hence faux long enough

to excel as the top notch mix breed
     boxer golden retriever terrier
    male delivery postbag
(as taught at canine obedient school)
upon spilling contents,
     the bulk of printed material

     detailing importance,
     sans letting sleeping
     Canis lupus familiaris lye undisturbed,
     especially after a bath
     when pooch resembles
     a limp dish rag
all apropos hot (gravy trained) relevant
     topics for instance,

     when feeling sleep deprived
     detailing how to shepherd
     and summon the snoop doggy dog
     inchoate hounding gnarly
     Marley elusive dream
     fostering feigning fearsome nightmare
     asper getting lost without a name tag.
As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid with rage)
bull ****** his tusk
into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk
ah...voila... hence subsequently I tout
blessed natural laxative the magic of Daily Fiber
100% natural psyllium husk.

Upon sprinkling two dose powder pack,
which orange flavor sweetened
upon missus mishmash pop slop,
not aesthetically pleasing major drawback

heavy as a full coalsack
sometimes burned and scorched black
movement came swift, on par how fast
snaky Mister liquid Plumber doth attack
obstructed ***** bowl.

Well now... monumental poetic challenge,
I now craftily abbreviate
(think clogged toilet synonymous with blockage)
waste matter after days did accumulate
ready to apply corkerasp
regarding ****** blockage to alleviate.

Imagine impossible mission to defecate
which debilitating scenario (mine) accursed fate
frequently recurring more often as yours truly ages
i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older
****** affliction compromised me

ordinary easy going demeanor to boot    
disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting
me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat
if queried about my constitution

when alas... absolute ecstasy found me
expelling bowel movement with effort
weighing approximately hundredweight
though relieved, nevertheless
the toilet bowl clogged,

prompting me to correct historical records
on two accounts despite
causing potential ruckus
disaster buffs may incriminate
nsync notion huge bowel movement

(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania
and actually additionally
caused separate incident
complex edifice (think Titanic)

both sturdy ships of state
former rendered foundered
latter purportedly crashing
into iceberg me mate.

------------------------------------------------

Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp

Whenever constipation a pain in the ***
just maneuver this lightweight
metal contrivance made of brass
no matter if anybody
considers this action crass

apply corkscrew motion up the
alimentary canal to remove waste
which most likely will be
thick like petrified paste
stuck deep inside bowels of the
sphincter muscles and solidly encased

causing severe cramps within
lower gastrointestinal tract
inducing one to wince nonstop
from being with ***** matter packed
and no amount of primal groaning
didst loose this hard fact

nor does imagery of freed ****
ease the **** plight
no laughing matter despite how absurd
squeezing does nothing even
applying all inner might

thus necessary to incorporate
unnatural intervention to unclog
****** blockage + uncomfortable bloating
swelling **** the size of a hog

disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog
yet tis essential per extricating what
feels like one swallowed a log
lest epitaph induce possible eulogy
possibly spoken the language of prague

every ounce of effort
required to bend
over gingerly affixing
plunger end of device
to business rear end

best accompanied with close
companion or friend
since ***** deed done dirt
cheap trick will ideally rend
rock solid excrement to roll
and release crashing sound sent

upon the bathroom floor
possibly inducing seismic
waves less or more
whereby toilet bowl water will pour
over the sides akin to
white caps near sea shore
without doubt all the while
gluteus maximus extremely sore.
Circa: 23rd of Tevet, 5760
     to 15th of Tevet, 5770
     in accordance
     with Hebrew date
(converted, asper Gregorian
     Calendar) courtesy of Google,
     which place of residence i.e.

tract 1950's) housing Penn
     Valley, Pennsylvania,
     I did execrate
essentially promised tubby our,
     (sans myself, missus
     and deux daughters),
     wrought abysmal fate,
where surviving members

     of spouse's birth family
     did supremely succeed in create
ting a hellacious,
     malicious, and pernicious
     living space oft times,
     (when we broke
     our daily bread) during
first decade of

     second millennium
Anno Domini worse fate
regarding ****** living social state
inviting longing tubby grate
fully dead, though premature
     demise would terminate
opportunity of experiencing quasi
     death row time,

     I would hate
tough missed bing
    cherry lee and pit
     tuff fully accused
     co-opting tenure
     as an ingrate
as perceived by in-laws,
     nieces, and nephews,

     who would not tolerate
my mental illness (schizoid
     personality disorder
     with ample helping of
     high anxiety, and panic attacks),
     **** sitter ring excruciating
     difficulty maintaining employment
     as reason to denigrate

pushing this struggling
     young family to absquatulate,
especially as figurative toxic
     barbs didst accelerate
soon after, we sit foot
     upon cluttered premises, jam packed,
     which haphazardly (helter
     skelter like) didst accumulate

with generations of trappings coagulate
ting heirlooms, hence
     presenting impossible
     mission to accommodate
the Harris kith (steeped amidst,
     a hoarder's paradise),
     elusively east of Eden
teasing chronic pennilessness,

     (mine lifetime theme) aggravate
ting this humble fellow,
     whose person others
     found an easy
     scapegoat to humiliate
marrying into a blood
     of bigoted, pigheaded,
     and small minded obdurate

folks intolerant
     of every creed dance
except frum Israel,
     and/or an affiliate,
this un men sheen hubble,
     and purported "moocher,"
     meme kickstarter husband
     quickly hashtagged to appropriate

accommodations never cared
     to earn good graces
     of MainLine
     rich Jewish culture,
     this atheist among hoi polloi,
     a roll (i.e. challah),
     he could never assimilate.
Time and again finances stretched
to breaking point
crackle, pop, and snap
'curse Alfred E. Neuman
smiles at yours truly
(this luckless papa)

with with his toothy gap
haint even Abel nor Cain,
nor I pull myself up
courtesy frayed bootstrap
dirt poor penniless deathtrap
compliments countless many
mashup mechanical mishap

no need to repeat, nor recap,
the litany against
fickle finger of fate
driving me into almshouse
more loathsome versus caught
amidst tsunami size whitecap,

where quick demise accompanied
by deafening air splitting thunderclap,
whereby bolt of blinding lightning
cleaves heavenly vault and
(Friday January 3rd, 2020)
instantaneously immense
**** canonical jagged dagger

blithely grasped courtesy
Usain St Leo Bolt
(yes Olympic runner -
fastest man on Earth
nonchalantly thwarts bajillion volt
tickles hands of said marathoner
analogous to wiretap

blessedly before brilliant
atmospheric electrical discharge
fizzled in feebly limp attempt
to extinguish "fake" charade,
facade, and mockup i.e.
mine burned out life

of Riley (really) ernest
and frank failed to zap
(think) mortally - merely
surface epidermis braised flesh,
synonymous burned out,

bedraggled banged up
resembling an old
and/or rickety vehicle,
none other than our trusty heap
Uriah (hit) to guess
aforementioned oft money pit
accursed said automobile.
Yours truly grief stricken
(sob... sob... sob)...
wheely hard to bear
this anticipatory anxiety
riddled joker impossible
mission thwarting despair

death knell tolled (told),
woebegone news, I did fear
hears stunned me into silence,
the unwelcome prognosis,
I needed to hear
no joke, but good humor

totally wrecked vehicle forces
yours truly to become...,
no not a lion tamer
but, yes a panhandling junketeer
begging, copping, dilly dallying... ha
to accept unpleasant

unexpected dire straits
gravely digging within lithosphere
bidding... fare thee well
treasured automobile faithful and near
synonymous with ideal paramour, yet now
must confront stark reality,

lack ample disposable income available
no financial resources to persevere,
and worse case scenario me
and the missus will need to don
faux Santa Claus outfit,
and roundup available reindeer

for ourselves (yea... yea... yea...,
I realize how spare
and tired, pessimistic,
forlorn success such short notice
unless if... nah no fat or slim chance...
apocalypse ushers abominable thermonuclear

war, (I doubt Trump would
pull publicity stunt
to be re elected - ha) whereby
Beatle browed, foo fighting
foreigners, survivors impressed, feted,
compensated... for service
unless they willingly volunteer.

Combination future pluperfect
birthday presents and Noel hi
Christmas gifts well nigh,
noah ark cake "FAKE" attempt,
to hoodwink, engine ear,
trunk hate, et cetera
drum, harp, trumpet... belie
including objective to shanghai,

nor fall out of good amazing graces
toward (me) garden variety generic guy
providing steadfast generous
figurative air supply to fortify,
revving me shaky talent,
ye may oft times decry
as unintelligible gobbledygook

brainstorming ideas to try
single handedly ambidextrously
poetically kindle indeed codify
to elucidate how transportation
car reared and gone awry
moderate expenses as original parts wear out,
(i.e. battery, fender, brakes,
hood latch, shock absorber, tires...

albeit almost all simultaneously), hence I sigh
aware expounding circumstance that doth defy
immediate resolution incumbent to pacify
troubleshoot immediate impasse
squarely render quintessence
problem solving the overriding
challenge, I vilify.
Ordinarily, the weather
considered non trees
son us, a neutral subject on par
with non nose wrinkling odoriferous cheese
usually ranks as minor distraction,
without whether yours truly agrees

or not, except
during balmy temperatures,
an unavoidable tease,
whereat sub zero degrees,
whether Centigrade or Fahrenheit
demands human sacrifice

(me anima knocking knees),
no negotiating with Ole Man Winter,
he requests (lest
he continue deep freeze
maelstrom until the end of time),
nothing 'cept a healthy seas

sunned **** sapien to appease
his insatiable appetite
froze to the core,
when all body functions cease,
thus until onset of frostbite disease
transformed me into a human popsicle

obliging surrender of self,
no matter I always minded "p's"
and "q's", and adhered
to selfless decrees
not until that moment - this me's
lee sad excuse e'en for missing link,

said personal radar of this primate
suddenly went haywire madly wheeze
zing, as if giant hand (some
harried styled swiftly tailored
paw) did squeeze
traumatizing, suffocating, mangling

constricting, asphyxiating... sensation
(surprised muss elf, and all my enemies,
hence survived death as a breeze)
when similar to Socrates
ill fate found him downing hemlock,

necessitated, I reluctantly quaff antifreeze
as preservative, plus out of necessity to survive
being clobbered, buffeted,
assaulted...finally please
zing lee melting titanic iceberg
more bearable on par with a sneeze
than compared to frigidity of writer's block!
Screaming headlines erupted...
BREAKING news...massacre
barrage of gunfire
wrought countless deaths
newly minted unknown
mass murderer suddenly infamous

speculation immediately
trumpeted hate crime
targeted, premeditated, calculated
mass murderous sprees,
gunmen gloated gleefully
resultant mayhem throve

countless dead tally increased
security details, police,
and emergency crews
barked orders while
yellow crime tape cordoned
mortally wounded

and seriously injured
rushed into onsight
triage units as sirens blared
killer(s) coup shattered
tenuous complacency
prior cautious optimism

hesitantly blinked awoke
initial six months
two thousand nineteen
witnessed eerie calm
before tabloid magazines
ripped pages incomplete bios

unleashed blitzkrieg bullets
rent asunder sanguine flickr
joyus kindled linkedin
outlook presaging quaint
good n plenti peace on Earth
good will to men/women

annihilated as bullets besieged
random innocent victims
giddily, indiscriminately, wantonly...
slain in cold blood
immediate conspirator theorists
gin up rumor mill

defend homicidal maniac
simultaneously don MAGA hats
invectives incurring anti racist
bigoted, capital one
demagogue googly eyed president
unsurprisingly witnesses
popularity uptick

"loose canon" Grinchy grin
hooligan prince smiles
Machiavellian ghost lauds
apprentice regarding 2020 candidacy
able, ready, and willing
promise furnishing arms to the teeth
for every man, woman, and child
as campaign slogan.
Strong armed marshall law decrees
(at a buoy good gull... lance)
across airwaves blare
constant detrimental exhortation
buzzfeeding populace analogous
to pollination instinctively
wrought courtesy bumblebees

to help combat
mortal pandemic disease
explaining governmental freeze
industries shuttered just ask jeeves
who will corroborate
deadly symptoms characterized

by severe chills inducing knocked knees
stricken unfortunate victim
beseeches with plaintive pleas
as their feverish body temperature
surpasses bajillion degrees
innoculation looms closer on horizon

as fatigued learned scientists squeeze
every detail how coronavirus (COVID-19)
transmitted, disseminated, contracted...
moost definite deadly germs spread,
when one and/or individual doth sneeze,
meanwhile palliative care workers seize

every opportunity to appease
tortured souls (suffering
worse fate than death),
plus plumb depths how said microbes'
molecular and/or atomic biochemical keys
activate, integrate, propagate...

painstaking labor to scrutinize and tease
burning midnight oil exhaustive energies
altruistic individuals ofttimes sustaining
their weary lovely bones
with crackers and cheese

moost likely forgoing adequate sustenance
also robbing sleep slowly
transforming them into zombies
apropos trailing appellation
describing unnaturally surreal spooky
haunting spectre as people
perish in twos and threes

mystery if initial epicenter
pinpointed among Chinese,
or perpetrated (my hunch) perhaps by aliens
slightly resembling infinitesimal
peace loving groovy hippies
pervasive during nineteen sixties.
Addendum to title:
Boyhood Digs in Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426

Oft times forced exposure therapy spelled rustling quiet
Pyrrhic punitive onslaughts noisome moody linkedin kicks
jarring inxs harbored grievances foo fighting essence
denoting cannibalized august boy aghast to confront reality
returning home meant compromising autonomy
acceptable collateral casting leftist strides rite
constituting timid steps circumscribing childhoods’ end,
comprising reluctant trudge treading toward adolescence
where wold wide webbed magic ride
rode ruff shod o’er carped hooked
synthetic threads re: fibrous veld
whence extolled impressive footprints
measured triangular wedges rung duff feet
expediently dragged churlish badinage afoot
stretching across Scottish tartan
Harris Tweed unwelcome matt despite frustrated parents
whose vitriol unleashed tough-love,
smacked regularly quasi planned
threatened ultimatums venomous viz witches
yawping against my brand
falling out of good graces,
though hatching escape merely fanned
actions hightail me to bedroom, a secure space,
not exceptionally grand
yet despite rapacious and relentless rage
against the sole son, who hand
did lee managed inciting wrath
of me papa and late mama,
this parcel of land, now entombs nostalgia
namely 324 level road, Collegeville,
Penna, 19426 make believe pal Joey and this creator
passively succumbed to withstand
invisible jetblue lobbing onslaught of slingshot barbs,
wharf fear to rely on self way past primetime,
which solo endeavor didst demand
absent belief, confidence and faith in innate survival skills,
hence countless admonitions recurred
razed quest qua pursed lips
those who begat their only male heir,
provoking predictable panned
da moan he hum in tandem
with concomitant wickedness akin to eland
caught in cross hairs getting pistol-whipped
with many barking explicit derogatory gerund formed
expletives, that did not dislodge this immobile body electric
defying logic, now in retrospect clueless why I suffered to withstand
incessant verbal, venal, and n’er vampire weakened blows
inexplicable, how this soulful, ruminating,
and tortured walking wounded blithely weathered turpitude  
though devoid of sense and sensibility, how no man iz an island
though at times incontinent, where jocund this bard for’er opened
Pandora’s box, but hindsight softened cleft pride and prejudice
whereat bulldozed site of once grand “Glen Elm” tears me up inside
fading memories refreshed, via priceless gift
from beloved younger sister
unwittingly mitigated hammer blows of pain to confront the void,
whence away from obliterated complex edifice grief felt ******!
this former guttersnipe doth harbor no ill will
while lain in the gutter of this conventional ville
where some insomniacs take nigh quill
your plea 4 money, but a confession
   that my life like a bitter pill
shape n size like n opal battling uphill

monetary resources nil
yet surges of imaginative days with hew fill
me jet throw toll aqua lung gill
lug gin islands n tandem with my mind till
death dew eye part, but social security disability
   just barely amp pull - this no pitiful poetic swill.

at this juncture
   my self confidence fuels me with greater skill
2 take risks, such as reach out n smooth over
   ruffled n ridged feathers emanating
   from sputter ring unthinkingly sans my virtual quill
i.e. emails n such prods awareness
   2 maximize opportunities that could fill

a void - specifically a marriage bereft of compatibility -
   n figuratively i jumped in2 this drama OUT of desperation
   years ago when hot n ***** pangs would not chill
plus my then living mother n now octogenarian
   widower father raged against me, their sole
   soul less son, who daily they did flip their grill.
prior to this day March 13th, (Friday) 2018,
     the local climate (here in Schwenksville,
     Pennsylvania) did accord
with weather more aligned

more apropos with late winter so summery spike
     of Mercury thermometers
     for those of you old enough to remember
     (Careful NOT to chomp

     on fragile slender tubular glass),
     whence silvery liquid metal would poison...
     like sting of a scorpion, anyway
     (regional forecast by meteorologists)

     attested by the outsize
     outside electronic bulletin board
(situated on the property
     of Perkiomen Valley High School)

     where space doth a ford
to envision a spectacular sight, this gourd
jess scenic tract, nonetheless registered
     over eighty degrees, and hoard

of wives, sans special treasure re: bond
     courtesy viz Mother Nature Spring time bounty
     on the verge to yield ample harvest
     to fill cornucopia horn of plenty

     Omaha lore dee Lord
ah...the picturesque setting found me eyes moored
thus temptation pitched perfect game of LIFE
     where fauna and flora sub woofing audio-
     logically roared, and this **** Sapien

felt his psyche scored
with the golden radiant sear ching,
     transcendent, transparent transient rods,
     whereat thy face turned toward

cerulean vault - a cathartic, electric,
     and fantastic panacea to ward
off lingering late winter moody blues
     as many a lan yard
flush with excited children of a lesser god.
After lounging in bed until
late morning/early afternoon
we (the missus and I) felt restless
as garden variety buffoon
or think chrysalis itching

to escape encased within cocoon
nevertheless, she mustered hubby
long since retired dragoon
late morning/early after light
clothing he must post haste festoon
he protested against testing

comfort zone merely donning galloon
his self conscious morphology
declaimed repeating honeymoon
embarrassing circumstance,
when caricature artist accentuated

pitiful spindle shanks published
front page see national lampoon
most recent issue or possibly
toothpick legs ought be printed June
a boot six days hence excluding

counting Memorial Day 2020
whereby barenaked ladies
(spouse included) unwittingly ironically,
farcically, and comically forced
skinny dipping under full moon

after newly bride & groom
pledged troth unwittingly nudist beach
entered momentarily devoid
of swimmers, who suddenly at noon
witnessed madding crowd
momentarily oblivious to laughingstock,

one after another burst out guffawing
(at my expense) at picayune
sorry/lame excuse for male
adult **** sapiens peculiar physique
courtesy anorexia nervosa

(when thirteen years old), I caused ruin
permanently stunting psychological
and physical characteristics,
for better part of existence
(mein kampf) uttered lamentable tune.

Absolute zero self worth (the
big goose egg) matter of fact will
state being earnest and frank
going on walk thru Schwenksville
thought person in every
passing vehicle (quite brisk traffic) rill

lee mocked appearance when
espying long haired pencil neck
geek fortunately blessed with
few gray strands deliberately colored via quill
to ad some convincing heft
to boyish good looks, though mill
stone metaphor linkedin with

living little approaching over hill
soon petering into becoming old
and senile, nope never got fill
of teenage romance, I started
dating during early twenties
deterrents to integrate among

including sounding think duckbill
nasal honking, and even hot spell
temps spiking high eighties/
low nineties dressed head
to foot ready for big chill,
especially cuz dehydration less likely.
Yes folks (meaning,
whomever espies these lines) alas and alack
I attest thy spouse located future heirloom -
while tentatively asleep in her bivouac
though far less likely,

(yet near more rewarding)
than finding bullet in gunnysack
and/or locating needle in haystack
constitutes the missus
(thru... worm my going with fluke...?)

She discovered logical whereabouts
concerning whaddya believe
simple 14 carat (ha - just kidding)
no custom made
tooled bejeweled purchased,
but symbol of marriage

originally acquired as prize
within box of crackerjack
and treated as goodluck
which find accompanied with
wife merrily drumming upon me buttucks
an old chestnut nursery rhyme named
knick knack paddy whack.

Emotional moment found
yours truly uttering yippee
while straddled upon rushing limb boughs
verbally punctuated courtesy warranty
said treasured ring kept guarded
by hand sum vigilant trustee
kissing me darling dumpling

as adequate reciprocity
suddenly husband experienced himself
as figurative payee
delivered out his
(mine) emotional melee
courtesy lucky find
more precious than fine spun gold.

Now bonafide marriage signifies
stronger invisible bond,
whereby Western Culture accepts
how wedding band doth correspond
unlikely once philandering quirky poet

will draw attraction, anyway
cuz insinuations he won't respond,
nor at this matrimonial juncture
(approximately two dozen plus years)
will one bard **** troubadour abscond.

How great if woebegone
misfortune could abate
such as obsessive compulsive
mailer daemons that create
psychological distress and chronic depression

whereby suicidal ideations will elevate
impossible mission to oust melancholy
against psyche doth grate,
though chatting (over telephone)

with eldest sister,
who lives within Woodbury, New Jersey
can figuratively illustrate
how solitary existence
encompassing isolated kalifate

only breeds despair within,
emotionally remote bailiwick
therein still stews
emotionally unbridled wordsmith
whose entire being does marinate.
since I pledged my troth with thee –
   at times wondering if the decision amiss
my affinity, cupidity, fidelity
   and integrity hardly contributed to wed did bliss
blithely paying lip service
   to birthday hardly enhances the marriage, thus miss

stir Matthew Scott Harris
   makes this overtures to acknowledge your day of birth
the years spent with you
   overlooked acknowledging july sixth, and such a dearth
does emotional/spiritual injustice,
   and undermines warmth felt at home n hearth

thus I set before myself the task to attempt some semblance alack
of recognition per your existence, which exercise harkens back
contra dancing at Summit Presbyterian Church
   coupled with tension and flack
at that time (decades ago)
   diving rod nada so sterling induced pants to jack
late lee with a bulge – at that stage of my life hormonal secretion
   owner of a hyperactive ***** horniness da schmuck did not lack
simian sentiments summoned woody to wedge with a wick whack

into tulip pinkish curtains that parted to usher my nada so sterling rod
though frequently premature *******
   found ***** hairs like clump of sod
where ma screwy tool (fueled
    with fur n zee for finger lick kin fricassee) trod
upon a carnal, feral, infernal landscape
   as a limp biscuit re: dough like wod

whereby whoosh spurted *****
   from excitable minute man – a prickly chum
diminished satisfactory ****** ******* when geyser of sticky gum
expelled forth geyser like – rivaled old faithful spewing genetic ***

yet despite predilection toward ******* hair trigger –
   betwixt us we begot
deux darling daughters –
   wove from the warp and woof beginning as a dot
yet fertility brought womb – supposedly, a self cleaning oven just hot
enough to massage each “bun in the oven”
   until gestation *** pleated plot
though now progeny young women themselves –
   I ponder if ***** may rot
and atrophy into a shriveled mummified tartan pattern matted splot
since testosterone
   took torpedo kamikaze nose dive e’er since ***** did trot

into the vaginal vortex and managed to cashier from mine ***** bank
fire off from the mint at least one non blank
when phallus retained an ******* juiced long enough to crank
out gooey gunk from me miniature frank
hence twas grate of ye to spread yar legs a task I thank

without your participation this anniversary of abby robin harris debut
two prized offspring
   (both born during winter) fatherhood he thankfully knew.
Born May 5, 1818, in Trier Germany
     to Heinrich and Henrietta Marx,
sans the third of nine children
     (and second oldest heir)

     Karl Marx thinking begot incendiary sparks,
asper his two most controversial publications
     titled The Communist Manifesto,
     and Das Kapital

which political philosophy
     incubating seeds of self destruction didst birth
doctrines of class struggle,
     historical materialism, dearth

of equitable wealth, and inherent
     contradictions of industrial capital
     distributed unevenly
     across avast swath of Earth

thus inviting his perspective
     (conveniently exploited,
     mined, and usurped) advocating
     the working class (proletariat)

     to expedite organized revolutionary action
to topple capitalism and bring about
     socio-economic emancipation,
where wages of sin exchanged for labor bled

fingers to the bone life source, viz proletariat
     till slaving laborer nearly became gratefully dead  
despite being cased in 12 point
     Times New Roman garb, who incessantly fed

insatiably maws of production,
     (no way to get a supportive talking head)
particularly highlighted
     within schema of Capitalism),

     a predominant paradigm
     stratifying society led
to internal tensions engendered
     between bourgeoisie red

dilly controlling means
     of production codified as said
as die a critical approach Marx coined
     as historical materialism,

    where figurative landmines forced one to tread
gingerly, thus above stated philosophy
     would supposedly lead down the road
     where self destruction wrought marriage
     birthing Socialism offspring from shot gun wed

     ding, thus coaxing eventual establishment
of classless communist society meant
to establish free association of producers who spent
exchanging merchandise amidst classless
     campy population hood pitched a tent.
The serpentine and ageless liquid
   mercurial possessed snake
eternally swallowed
   since the beginning of time
   one unquenchable thirst to gorge and slake
slurping up an icy cold mountainous pebbly shake
   yet fresh as an irish spring
   using thy tongue o gaelic spake
   then tumbling down into the cavernous abyss
   subsequently carving
   a deep criss cross patchwork
   across the rock hard rugged topography
   like the handiwork of some invincible force
   commandeering a humungous rake
affixing legendary signature
   quasi-indelible grooves
   only for the near indomitable
   chiseled masterpiece
   to be erased, twisted then wrenched
   by that natural landscape altering phenomena
   identified as an earth quake
creating a fresh tabula rasa to begin anew
   inviting waters from on high to carve
   from the ebbing and flowing millennial currents
   which eventually find a more direct course
   beginning as trickling creek
   swells from winter rains
   and thence in summer while the sun doth bake
   when flora blooms and fauna prance
the firmament  then abandons
   bent elbow oxbow lake
as a former bend in the river.
Altruistic August aery angelic alms
applied astounding
     abracadabra affect as Brahms
I liken to a lite lullaby,
     and aye acknowledge calms
financial short comings

     ace action activated across avast
time/space continuum concerning
rental assistance applied
     (for Abby and Matthew)

     my Geiger Counter recorded
     as significant beneficent blast
and such lucky largesse compels me
     (the mister) en compassed

with a sudden lightness of being
and completely, pleasantly, shell shocked
     (figuratively), thence imagining "ding"
****, asper the reality analogous

     to me noggin temporarily transformed,
     transfixed, transferred,
     soundless pinball sized clouds
     delivered sensational fling

when informed by Jacklyn Geiger
     (perhaps related to Johannes
     Wilhelm Geiger (1882-1945)
     invented -in part or wholly - the Geiger counter),

but no matter this irrelevant tidbit
     of inquisitive genealogy
the main purport per this poem
     predicated on pronounced provisions

providing us (the occupants
     of B44 at Highland Manor Apartments,
     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania 19473)
with a whopping reduction
     to the very pleasant tune:

one hundred and seventy dollars a month
     effective circa April first
     two thousand and eighteen,
     and if alive during World War II,

     would (since lineage
     significantly weighted with Semitism)
     envisions his life cut short,
     via burnt offerings re: crematorium,
     or vaporized victims upon a funeral pyre

     and most likely Holocaust genocide  
can Noah way be rectified,
     such a grievous tragedy
to express gratitude

     via literary modus operandi
     rather than see king
     a ghost writer to hire
and hoop fully DO NOT

     cause synapses to snap
(crackle or pop induce explosion
     within gray matter) or thinking cap
     (albeit best to Don a nonflammable brand)
     so as not to cause accidental conflagration

and hmm...and maybe...
     this skeptic can commune
      with long fostered nada greatful dead
     spirits hood suffered at least

     one very restless night,
a Jew (in name only)
     experienced a lucky strike,
which subsequently
     roused this contemplative chap -
- and pap

per Razz Zee to broadcast and commercialize  
     (albeit electronically) utmost appreciation
and additionally to pay forward
     by pursuing as compensation my platelets on tap
for handsome allotment intent to donate blood,
     a much needed needling conscience life restoring agent.
Antiestablishmentarian inherent malevolent violence
wracks human species, a most brutish and nasty beast.

An embittered nihilistic teenager
grown haggard and old,
hence not surprisingly yours truly
crafts pseudo dystopian reasonable rhyme.

An evangelized atheistic adherent,
I aver evolutionary theory
posits prelapsarian Eden
of astonishing plentitude
gone to hell in a handbasket.

Ever since human species stood *****
exhibiting prehensile appendages did allow
cupped fingers upon brow,
whereat vista unveiled to succor chow.

Dawn of consciousness begat
superstitious vagaries daunting
present day Democrat
and/or Republican to issue fiat
denouncing extremist militant uprising
raging across Capitol Hill habitat.

2021 presidential inauguration
today January twentieth
(broadcast right now)
augurs horrific repeat January sixth,
when bedlam and mayhem
rocked Washington District of Columbia,
where hoodlums ran amuck lionizing violence.

Lawlessness bled constitution white
marauding bands of hooligans
bombarded, desecrated, fueled,
harmed, jackknifed, leveled, nailed,
pummeled, rioted, terrorized, vandalized...
with glee and spite
yielded windfall regarding

headline grabbing newsnight
motley film crews recorded
gangsters scaling storied height
(cue spiderman/woman)
think rescuers quick
as greased lightning they did alight.

If only real and/or
fictional life action heroes/heroines
came to the rescue
to avenge forces of evil,
where virtue dispensed,
and trumpeted courtesy better angels.

Meanwhile indefatigable defenders
of human rights
dole out just desserts
upon the heads
of self styled lawless brigands
militaristic thugs hell bent
to wreak havoc
upon cradle of liberty
including complex edifices
linkedin and embody

blood, sweat and tears
of freedom fighters
arrayed against merciless
demonic forces upending
foundation upholding enshrined
nearly divinely inspired principles
quantum leaps since
early man/woman trod
across terrestrial firmament.

I experienced exhilaration
upon witnessing confirmation
genuflection, liberation, restitution
espoused by Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.
forty sixth president of United States.
between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in ***,
diametrically up poses,
and disinvites loving caress,
nevertheless yours truly
experienced gastrointestinal distress

countless times experienced ****** duress,
when anticipatory anxiety triggered excess
indomitable heavenly gorgeous fortress
mandating visits to the porcelain goddess
else.. heavily soiled underwear
necessitating by George thoroughly good
scouring utilizing heavy duty gloves
nsync accessing generations
old washboard and handpress.

Nowadays more often than not,
I suffer incapacity to whoop
and holler at healthy excretory
system (of the down), but troop
hunkered over (think
Hunchback of Notre Dame)
at ground zero smack dab dagnabbit,
where birds of prey swoop

doubled over in agonizing pain
believe me you, this fickle fella
experiences excruciating difficulty to ****
mein life passes before third eye blind
and joie de vivre to exclaim L'Chaim
takes kamikaze nosedive and ability
to savor existence significantly doth droop.

Nevertheless alleviation when at long last affright
dying upon commode,
when colorectal **** orifice obstruction airtight
cursing posterior dire straits regarding
(you bet your bottom dollar)
occasions behind stricken with blight
worse fate than losing cocked cat fight
malfunctioning ****** scenario analogous

loosing life versus death dogfight
plummeting at warp speed
within psychedelic atmospheric Earthlight
recognizing demise (mine)
on par jeopardizing ability,
cuz jammed alimentary canal
disallows lightening payload Humpty dump
(Thoreau Lee walled din)
and doomed as endangered bumblebee's flight
and snuffed out as quaint sputtering gaslight
era when commercial gas became available in

early 19th century in Europe and America...
see - https://www.thespruce.com/
the-gaslight-era-2175011
to glean at least one more highlight
though gaining such spruced insight
contributes no more or less than jacklight
neither rhyme nor reason why
wily prevaricating good knight
informs ye to understand might

of Matthew Scott Harris this night
(April 27, 2020) no longer fraught
regarding his sorely overtaxed sphincter
he heromin vouchsafed and wooly vowed
to accept unconditional surrender
of body dysmorphia (mine) plight
resolved swallowing bleach
(a purgative he trumpets)
to eternally lived in peace quite.

Time and again liquified human waste
i.e. loose stools (mine)
flushing bowels unchased
down toilet shunted off to treatment plant
thick sludge consistency of (crust) toothpaste
repurposed for commercial
and individual use posthaste,

especially every resident of
Lake Woebegone Poker Flat outcaste,
who as token scapegoats
(no kidding) suffer tsoris
bullies unrelenting lambaste
harbor loathing, albeit strong distaste
towards those persons deemed
undeserving comprise untouchable caste.
this alteh kocker nostalgically reflects
     being ma late mama's boytchik
(now, she long since deceased,
     whose cremated remains of day

     scattered to all points on compass)
     fondly referencing
     both sisters as dabchick
incongruously sprinkled her Brooklyn brogue,
especially when angry, she quickly segued

     from mild expletive fiddlestick
the latter playfully aired,
     when kibitzing wit bubeleh
reminiscing being dirt poor,

     nonetheless zee mother
     every now an again homesick
regaling the whole mishpokhe
     (meaning us brood of kids)

interrupting herself
     with frequent non sequiturs
     discombobulated anecdotes switching subjects
     as if external forcefield

     jimmying a joystick
interleaving disparate threads with subsequent
     tangential linkedin snippets
     with feigned lovesick

chatting 'bout cockamamie
     "Grandpa Moishe"
     and his chaim yankel posse
     (to escape hen pecking nudnik
"grandma Rebecca"),
     a trenchant termagent bubba,

     not averse to incorporate dreck
     in the same sentence with zayda
     ostracized him
     scoring figurative placekick,

whence upon his schlepping back home
     met with "silent treatment" dampening rollick
king atmosphere choking tearfully
     "mother" recounted

     farblunget anger thick
lee palpable extremely discomfiting,
     particularly when ("mom's")
     girlhood friends bore witness aye gavalt,

     where penury churned moribund thoughts
viz empty cupboards
     devoid of bare necessities
     a figurative apropos yardstick.
As if in a decades long
     somnambulant trance
     for majority of years
     I finally awoke,
three score minus
     one orbitz tracked 'round el sol
     by this human drone,
a custom made incognito

     stitched while in utero
     yeah... my birthday suit mask
     disguised this bloke
yet plainly visible, aye donned
     a permanent cloak
always fitted me skin
     tight easily permitting
     ingress and egress okey doak

majority of mein kempf
     ambivalent about (no...no...no...
     despised) self as
     apathetic behavior did evoke,
yet slip out from
     under the Harris tweed,
     Scottish door Matt,
     parental tender caring folk

now, such indifference,
     whether dead or alive,
     tummy this thinking haint write
especially nearing quotidian,
     the terminus twilight
     of existential parabola
     fifty nine submucous cleft palate
     nasal note more'n slight

     chalked up to biochemically, right
     hermetically, and neurologically quite,
though not profoundly disabled,
     a riddled quirky
     ******-social plight,
(cultivating an unhealthy
     absent self esteem inferior complex)
     I exhibited half

     hearted feeble feints
     to muster willpower morning till night
oft times nobody home,
     and nary boot faint light
doth shine on me
     (feeling comfortably numb),
     a puny white knight er
     rather pawn on chess

     board of life with 20/20 insight
while standing at a paltry
     just shy of seventy
     two inches in height
shortchanging latitudinal longitudinal
     maximum parameters to attain
but more critically, detrimentally,
     emotionally constitutes current bane

analogous to Atlas
     hold the world
     did more than force him to crane
his neck, but imposed
     a global estuarial drain
as all the seven seas underwent
     gravitational pull that's
     the best aye can explain

oh...but such fiction a mythological sling
shot across the bow civilization
     the metaphorical resonance
     pertains to me, and doth ring
real asper millstone over bearing
worth repeating here,
no matter mentioned in previous poems
     bitterness of mine despairingly cathartically airing.
(my acknowledgement
to the loose canon of Robert Frost)

An above average snowfall
heavily swathed sage heather
followed by substantial unusual rainfall
punctuated months before, during and
after the growing season

delivered one of the
most hearty crop yields
in living memory
within the generations of men
of this (or any neighboring)

Norwegian bachelor farmer
long time residents
feeling like the sole housekeeper
of Lake Woebegone,
who can remember

the Edenic pasture with reluctance
raw bits and pieces mending wall
experiencing crushing childhood's end
weathered by their parents,
who as kids themselves

(during the worst
fear full Depression
in thee United States of America)
when countless farmers forced
by circumstance declared bankruptcy

locked out of hearth and home
no recourse 'cept to sell rural legacy...
family property deeds
(traced back to original settlers)
contrasts sharply with

plentiful, crucial, and
over abundant annual
precipitation, whereby these vestiges
of rural quaint lifestyle
awash with expansive lush cornfields,

whose silk like tassels
synchronously undulate  
(sparsely dotting pastoral landscape),
blistered, calloused, and ******,
whether weathered by blizzards,

or pounded with powerful (one...two)
top notch pugilistic punch
topographical scars permanently earmark,
where Ole man winter relentlessly socked
or Mother Nature slammed a wall of water

saturating freshly mown hay,
which pungent odor
belied teeming flora and fauna
(albeit many organisms nearly invisible)
yet keenly observable to hawk eye,

also tempting black crows
to carrion camping
while a flock of seagulls
swoop down upon unsuspecting
school of fish,
and/or scurrying varmints.
One “FAKE” rumor purports April Fools’ Day
accepted with hostile abandonment
according to Giggle ling search result
conducted by this gent
adopted when France switched

rather than fight abolishment
transitioning from Julian calendar
to Gregorian calendar,
(yet maintaining same gender reassignment)
called for by the Council of Trent

affecting chronological abridgement
forthrightly, immediately, and
magically decreeing making
with flourish of inkhorn - prestidigitation
"****" quite few months absent

necessitating rejiggering
displaced vanished days forcing
latter time keeping paradigm absorbent,
asper sands of time no matter such
figurative tectonic shift population

aghast at August accomplishment
and probably did March in protest,
cuz entire season,
sans couture accouterment
suddenly rendered obsolete and unfashionable

manually crafted, swiftly tailored, and
harry styled clothes no mean achievement,
and uninformed folks got hashtagged
kindled, and named plenti admonishment
visited on their person such as

bumsteads, dolts, fools, et cetera
howling guffaws when derriere adornment
slapped with "kick me steady ***,"
or stuck with tail like appurtenances
eventually this "FAKE" – advancement

ha ha April fools historical joke
became embedded tradition inn advertent
lee established meshugas, where Jews
and especially gentiles went meshugoyim
generating cottage (cheesy) industry,

and brisk business for nascent advertisement
industry, (albeit handily horse drawn
attention grabbing kiln fired tablets)
mainly for (Philly buzzfeed string) affluent,
who secured lifelong gentlemen's agreement
with artisan, and of apprenticed trumpeting sons

(after tithe thing allotment) earnings
portion squirrelled away for rainy
May Day festivities ambient
brouhaha babushka's celebrating divine comedy
21st century poet tindered mild amusement
regarding this "FAKE" flight of fancy!
Papa unexpectedly overtaken with woe
flashback shook me complex edifice
head, shoulder, knees in to toe
quietly processing silent film status quo
shant upended jollity
between when a little girl no
matter mine nonconformist
mien unconditionally accepted,

ye dear daughter(s) don't know
sudden onset of anguish **... **... **
holiday cavorting accentuated as
charade, facade, masquerade fueling ego
particularly Santa with the Misses,
and her sharp claws
keeping warm while
temperature five below.

No matter most every detail
I accurately gauge to attest
your life bustling
chock full o' zest
withheld, no doubt emotions
smolder within your chest

and kudos to thee lovely offspring
(both) packed bags
and headed out west
twas honorable duty, though now...
papa feels like
an unwanted guest
thee survived, albeit psyche bruised,

undergoing the electric
kool aid acid test
laughter when playing
Mancala, Uno, Sorry, et cetera,
how dada predictably did jest
when table turned,
I (spoiler alert)

willingly, lovingly, and blithely
lost desire to win quest
to dispose cards, game
pieces, and/or glass beads
invariably other occasions
ye long since left (as thee must)
me and mother with an empty nest.

Nothing more doth
Matthew Scott ask or desire
then to delight and bask
as well educated hire
swimmingly how thee
learned to acquire

confidence and multitasking,
while I trod thru much
psychological muck mire
oft times (like now)
experiencing financial straits dire,

linkedin to when only youngster fire
within me belly to joie de vivre
peter out and prematurely expire
and yours truly reckons nothing
can change the past aghast being

deprived a marshmallow
at long ago time sharing campfire
with shortcomings scalding,
killing, crimping relationship,
doth now conclude another poetic wire.
yes, this daft punk pink animal from farm ville will newt axe
any thank u mooch positive word does not rick choir whet backs
now i hold out virtual fig leaf tub buffer
   end share fiber filled meal of flax
sitting on the porcelain throne
   while sphincter doth re lax
testing toilet tolerance
   bowel movement level to the max
cuz despite intake of food
   rather moderate outflow packs
a wallop - excrement humungous
   enough ta offset Acela train off tracks.

silence of the lambs, lions, tigers n bears
will commence without a word
after dropping quite a load ****
thence, this chap imagines his ****** bombs will be heard
twitter n tweeting like some melodic bird
which might induce ye to con sitter me absurd.

i (alias alice cooper) hoop zee follow wing accepted as good
that renown brother/ twisted sister hood
who happens to be known as fraternal order of police
serve as ac/dc megadeath cure and remove us
   from beatle browed public enemy

albeit dire straits, inxs sting from bad company
   opens doors e'en on a black sabbath
whereby alice in chains
   adorned in a suit of deep purple metallica
contribute to the ongoing musical genesis
   whereby talking heads
rage against the machine with guns n roses
   or recount fields of a green day
from children of the korn

swaying in the green day breeze
on a green day of linkin park
akin no doubt to reveling in pearl jammed nirvana
inviting barenaked ladies
to side step any puddle of mud

while searching three doors down
for a rolling ****** temple pilot foo fighter
led zeppelin or joe na jet
   where saint peter Gabriel considered like u2.

please come as you r and serve
   as inxs of mine kiss able balm
to reduce anxiety and calm
while we imbibe on Perrier mitt Dom
and get relaxed - and hold each others palm
to help assuage any uneasy qualm
my dang telephone access
   lacks necessary wired  tinned can Rom.

sincere pulsation's ricochet
   back and forth in mind
in league with crawling desire toward feminine kind
whose inadvertent reciprocity develops an unimagined bind
in addition to the most awesome bedazzled find
that enervates and welcomes this guy, an enigmatic kind.

deliverance from (who knows where)
   brought such a sought after fate
found me a despondent, laconic soul searcher as of late
who just might now identify a suitable female mate
help him enjoy simple pleasures fruits of existence to sate
of life before he goes to pearly gate.

a creeping sense of pessimism pervades breathing air
ramifications from downing
   a bottle of ***** goat ****
   spurring ******* while buck bare
nevertheless, a remarkable sin sincere concern n care
(in addition taupe ply ******
   on account of numerous trials n error I made a dare
to engender a liaison with literary wit and flair.

m. scott hog tied harris
eagerly in search of an heiress
fears he will become dog gone petrified
   into a hardened statue made this heart and soul
from plaster of paris.

now this mwm concludes => from::scott matthews
who offers ethical creed, hence ye goot nut tin to lose
by befriending me - a doubting thomas among gentile or jews
who dislikes putting on tha ritz, when p pull re::fuse
but a gentle siri us homle based ****** o kay cruise.

best fur fantasies to remain bound
   did amongst those of n oh sage
   lest we haint on the same selective page
per even a brief, concise, n desirable textual image
whether for general chit chat i.e. small talk most gauge
search get ting sexed
   while feel n like one matted rat in a cage
since this archaic n primitive rolling stone er age.
a-gush with vigor
     of a balled umpire
after a cold shower,
     particularly most enjoyable, when
     (during hot weather),
     these lovely fleshed
     out bones heavily perspire
     me no liar,

plus the boost,
     I didst acquire
from downing one guarana
     to help jumpstart mental empire,
     (essentially caffeine
     in capsule form)
initially found me
     figuratively being catapulted

     skyward blasted, as if shot out
     like a healthy
     arsonist flame of fire
into cerulean heavens, like an
     Aerospace rocket ship
     this dada packet
     ****** above Gaia
     moony miles higher,

but after so
     many hours overtaken
     by invisible drag net,
     re: led zeppelin
     said charge (akin to quaffing
     one cup of coffee) did expire,
     a crash test dummy) systems
     of a down quite in dire

straits, sans dramatically dropping
     altitude as kamikaze hire,
thus needed to recharge,
     without a nanosecond to wait
this foo fighting
     beastie boy (George), hence
     upon padded foldout chair
     comfortable seated poise,

     aye didst create,
     and commenced meditation
     (a transcendent closed eye practice),
     sensing the oblate
spheroid (planet earth) traveling
     thru deep purple space
     NON GMO flute'n gree
     holistic practice helpful to abate

anxiety and/or panic,
     I resumed of late
which light trance like state
brought me a measure, where
     inner peace didst inflate
     of blissful fate
essentially homeopathic ploys
     to quiet mind chatter

     within my pate
     accessed to help me feel
     (like Tony the Tiger) GRrreat,
thence returning to man my station
i.e. sitting facing Macbook
     Pro external (Lenovo)
and dash (imaginatively) riding in a
     one horse open sleigh.
While shuttered within abyss of darkness
psyche terrorized tortured twisted courtesy
sinister malevolent forces besiege, curry, distill
impeding ability to experience joie de vivre
suspicion points to coalescence while in utero
inchoate cellular cluster vaguely hinting yours

truly condemned to experience woe linkedin
among conglomeration heralding differentiation
bursting nsync with parturition anatomical defects
set figurative stage where blistering, devastating,
excoriating, incriminating, tormenting, withering
zealotry (me decreed de facto scapegoat) suffered,

hence absolute zero impetus to regale myself when
cruelly inured within venomous snake pit otherwise
known as garden variety schoolhouse subjected to
unequivocal teasing, spitting, rude quipping - this
then extremely socially withdrawn boy the **** of
jokes, lacking machismo (ha...imagine meek measly

mostly mutely passive pencil necked geek (Matthew
Scott Harris) hurling fisticuffs exhibiting dukes of
hazzard, (albeit quite puny knuckles - yielding small
hands in accordance with small model chassis), a
guaranteed bullseye (red due lee marked target)
unavoidably tempting prey sited within crosshairs,

whether mocked while exiled to front of school bus
ad nauseum allowed quick exit out from door in the
event... suffering compounded while rooted as wall
flower slinking along quietly deaf vine pretending
not to exist, and attempting to vanish in thin air, and
nearly succeeded as a bag of unlovely bones during

analogously pugilistic bout with anorexia nervosa,
these days starkly bitter at absent gumption to assert
fighting spirit (Irish I did pass test doling out giving
bullies taste of their own medicine even if such act
of atypical defensive stance kilt me), but fear of
reprisal, I would be beat to pulp kept hunger to lash

out...did paralyze, mortify, and condemn worse fate
than death, even if afflicted with Bubonic plague,
flesh eating disease, leprosy, et cetera would pale
compared to self induced agony cumulative instances
cowardliness triumphed buzzfeeding lifetime
inferiority complex, where ****** daggers forever
rent asunder atrophied prisoner of eternal damnation.
Larry Borowsky – redux
(I underwent posterior probe
some years ago from 8/30/2018,
and accessed this poem
while watching the toilet bowl.)

Ask any devotee of above
   named gastroenterologist
officious military licensed
   cheeky knuckler,
   n’er kissed gluteus maximus –
   he soldiered thru med school
   despite getting pooped out
   rigorous regimen, now

   he knows irritable bowels of human
   excretory system, which iz
   alimentary and familiar flickr ring
   sleight of hand linkedin
   quicken wrist zooms into grab bag
   of medicinal tricks -
   mimics waving magic wand bitta bang
prestidigitation abracadabra

   of **** scope brings – dang
gustatory scenic aerated
   holy smoker of a ******,
   a waste land fang
less, but the seat of
   ****** berries sometimes hang
whence undergoing
   this behind the scenes procedure

   where smelly silent sonnets
   from sphincter sprang
most times flatulence
   relieved in private place
but, post op - probe ***
   boss aerates sterile space
scrutinizes patient living long,
   or departing from human race,

rearing specialist unheralded
   doctor relieves anguish
   without a trace
which gratitude spurred
   ****** attempt to compose verse
to express appreciation
   clean bill of health and dis purse
anticipatory anxiety,

   this pooper trooper
   endured with pseudo “nurse”
actually wife, who
   nudged me to undergo examination
   lest she bare witness
   becoming a widow
   following mine hearse
if hypothetical demise did pass,

   more'n wind deceased,
   would hear loud curse
analogous to unstoppable enema,
   (brought out from downed colyte)
   expletives interspersed with
   my name exhibiting master card
   shark cunning never forgiving
   nor forgetting how we happened

to be broke nearly the entire
   coup d’état of marriage –  reaching
   cheeky **** pinching
   catatonic state die n rapport,
   this generic guy saved
   from premature death viz ace sing  
   examination tantamount
   with flying colors –at least now,

   our two darling daughters
   can (in doo doo time), perhaps
   with children - longevity
   courtesy of doctor Larry Borowsky,
   whose honed trained
   hands n eyes (he iz hearing impaired)
   to scout out and ticket
   suspicious cellular demons,
   aim of innocuous microbes
   to destroy e pluribus enum alone!
Larry Borowsky – redux
(I underwent posterior probe
some years ago from 8/30/2018,
and accessed this poem
while watching the toilet bowl.)

Ask any devotee of above
   named gastroenterologist
officious military licensed
   cheeky knuckler,
   n’er kissed gluteus maximus –
   he soldiered thru med school
   despite getting pooped out
   rigorous regimen, now

   he knows irritable bowels of human
   excretory system, which iz
   alimentary and familiar flickr ring
   sleight of hand linkedin
   quicken wrist zooms into grab bag
   of medicinal tricks -
   mimics waving magic wand bitta bang
prestidigitation abracadabra

   of **** scope brings – dang
gustatory scenic aerated
   holy smoker of a ******,
   a waste land fang
less, but the seat of
   ****** berries sometimes hang
whence undergoing
   this behind the scenes procedure

   where smelly silent sonnets
   from sphincter sprang
most times flatulence
   relieved in private place
but, post op - probe ***
   boss aerates sterile space
scrutinizes patient living long,
   or departing from human race,

rearing specialist unheralded
   doctor relieves anguish
   without a trace
which gratitude spurred
   ****** attempt to compose verse
to express appreciation
   clean bill of health and dis purse
anticipatory anxiety,

   this pooper trooper
   endured with pseudo “nurse”
actually wife, who
   nudged me to undergo examination
   lest she bare witness
   becoming a widow
   following mine hearse
if hypothetical demise did pass,

   more'n wind deceased,
   would hear loud curse
analogous to unstoppable enema,
   (brought out from downed colyte)
   expletives interspersed with
   my name exhibiting master card
   shark cunning never forgiving
   nor forgetting how we happened

to be broke nearly the entire
   coup d’état of marriage –  reaching
   cheeky **** pinching
   catatonic state die n rapport,
   this generic guy saved
   from premature death viz ace sing  
   examination tantamount
   with flying colors –at least now,

   our two darling daughters
   can (in doo doo time), perhaps
   with children - longevity
   courtesy of doctor Larry Borowsky,
   whose honed trained
   hands n eyes (he iz hearing impaired)
   to scout out and ticket
   suspicious cellular demons,
   aim of innocuous microbes
   to destroy e pluribus enum alone!
Though this baby boomer,
     (who didst roam man
upon this Earth
     since the year
mcmLix) does not
**** sitter himself
a political activist his wear
re: some ness, particularly

     with chronic setbacks
     inaugurated by President
Donald Trump, an in volunteer
re: response, (asper just
     the faintest hint
of a smile) veer
really played itself across
my countenance un bear

ably impossible to depress, repress,
     and/or suppress, upon
     gleaning America Online
     cover headline indicating
Representative Beto O’Rourke,
a (Texas Democrat) care
fully, sir up **** hiss lee,
     reportedly, and quietly

     considering a 2020 grab
     for White House
commander in Chief chair
met with Barack Obama dare
ring political polls
to hedge intimation,
though true motives unclear
that said progressive

     former named person
(from Lone Star State)
might be seriously sincere
conjoining what promises
     to be a dynamically
hearty, lucky, and plucky
solution to uptear,
the present woebegone crisis

     of dreadlock, gridlock, and
     padlock stasis, the political
     ship of state (Leviathan
     countenanced by Thomas Hobbes
     circa 1651) pitching
     United States government
     upon reprehensible threshold
     inching the Doomsday Clock

closer than ever to thermonuclear
global mortal kombat triggering
unset of unstoppable subnuclear
barrage in record time (mere
minutes transforming the
world wide web into
     many a schmear
compromising most all life

     into a bajillion bits
     of pulverized powder,
guaranteeing the demise,
     sans **** sapiens,
     and thus no
Santa Claus to steer
the motley crue
     of feisty reindeer,

this above mentioned dissolution,
     would sadly, unfortunately,
     wretchedly remove queer
as well the straight
     sexually oriented persons matter,

would become reconstituted
into surprise show stopping premiere
of some alternate lifeform,
     no doubt signalled
     with at least one outlier
or maybe even a noncareer mutineer!
Strikes relentlessly thrashing
     (from all points
     encompassing me) assigned
unforgivingly, vehemently,
     witheringly, blind
ding figurative sight, then
    I finally craft a title,
then subsequent lines

     of poem (or prose) defined
incumbent to pay
     proper obeisance deigned
then once a thread bare
     theme more or less defined
unleashing skein of thoughts,
     (that barrel thru
     muss hike key)

     utterly entangled,
     enthralled and entwined
rather then panic, a series
     of deep breaths
     decompresses,
     deemphasizes, and diminishes
a near futile attempt (thwarting captivity,
     futility, and impossibility) to find

even just a faint coalescence,
     essence, and furtherance
     pitting ma small nose
     to the metaphorical grind
stone calmly try
     to temper onslaught
     of tsunami like brain storm,
     yet no matter

     how fast fingers type,
     a sinking sensation,
     sans pursuit to process
     this tidal wave sets me
     further be hind,
this faux
cat and mouse game,
     which forces bust

ting thru out this scribe
     demand to answer himself
     with minor expletive,
     viz cheeses crust
why the ƒ¨ç˚ must
     this doggone eventual dust,
when staking claim
     on literary fame and fortune

     will no doubt entrust
yours truly to pauper's grave
     (if lucky enough
     to garner gofundme monies
or not bother, and consign
     any viable anatomical
     parts of this
     well kept body fussed

over with copacetic delight,
     holistic insight, and magic night,
     where a strong gust
of wind doth suffuse dreamy state
permeating mine subconscious,
     where inexplicable

     exemplifications doth leap
and prance, while aye
      obliviously repose in deep sleep,
which may be the condition
     of an unsuspecting reader,
     whether an generic
     guy or...a Veep.
Ah... nothing more enjoyable than acidic gastric fluid flowing backward into esophagus, resulting in heartburn, disrupting pleasant dreams, nor unsure how successful literary endeavor crafting poem regarding aforementioned will yield.

While deeply asleep
during late afternoon siesta
above name named date/time,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent

urge to upheap
I made little or no bowed peep,
but sat bolt upright stock still
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight

reverse peristalsis found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon ar
goo ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before sim

ring upper gastrointestinal tract did
allow, enable, and provide mouths
full of distilled water quench sudden
unquenchable thirst relieved result
ant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun

intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fee nom
mina - shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and did lament this rick

hitty packet of muscle and bone aft
times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout

unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court

if for no other reason, I just wanted
to incorporate said phrase, tip here
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance iz
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or te deum down
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?
Management here at
Highland Manor Apartments sent out word
that tomorrow, January twenty third,
two thousand and twenty one,
we (all residents) will receive the first (of two)
inoculations to stave off getting COVID-19,
hence mine poetic title might seem absurd.

Aforementioned stance toward death
obviously antithetical
regarding desire to stay alive
and most oppressive
when mine mental, physical
and/or spiritual yours truly
takes a (swan) dive
analogous where bajillion bees
swarm from their hive.

Linkedin with well known poem by and by
penned by Emily Dickinson, I didst decry
expressed her relief to die
"Because I could not stop for Death,"
she aptly crafted verses to comply
reverently, merrily, and gloriously accepting
cessation of existence well nigh
as does one garden variety generic goofy guy.

All natural catastrophes aside,
plus excluding thermonuclear war,
where civilization would get fried
nullifying idea viz,
let conscience be your guide,
nor no place to run and hide
left to grapple with dystopian quandary

shuttering fright housed inside
in one **** annihilating prejudice
(white privilege included) and pride
reducing to ashes trumpeting
self importance, where snide
persona grata becomes irrelevant
as does living social
or vacationing in Telluride.

Interestingly enough,
I do not entertain notions
inflicting self harm nor suicide,
but expect longevity (to ride
one after another orbitz around the sun)

maximum total (represented courtesy
value units and tens place)
at minimum exceeds double digits
in plain English aged
to perfection groom and bride
attains at least ninety nine years.

Despite skittering within hair's breadth or blink
looming over the edge no time to think,
cuz no matter being knight in shining armor
I can scrunch and squint thru visored *****,
and espy and the title
of a storied book by Tom Wolfe I think
Old Rotten Gotham sliding into behavioral sink,
amidst so much flotsam and jetsam

while singing Skidamarink
surrender unavoidable fate
cuz destiny dis rapper doth not shrink
and recognizes that whatever does not ****
will only make me stronger
(money back guarantee)
I attain a spry five score birthdays
and while away hours
playing solitary game of tiddlywink.
The above ad hoc Latin catchphrase,
(concatenated with two English words),
I regale chance reader
immediately sets ablaze
title of poem with timeless adage,
aptly suits this solitary

older male, whose daze
spent on planet Earth
aimless curriculum vitae
configures a zigzag maze
significant blocks of time
poorly aye now appraise

and rue so little forethought
wrought starry eyed glaze
amiss to any Amish,
colonial, horse drawn observer
passing by in their chaise
puzzled, asper my

doggone catatonic gaze
indicative as if me mind
lost in a foggy haze
yours truly attests,
concurs, he now flays
chastises, fulminates, lays

hard and heavy lament,
albeit cloistered frivolous,
lackadaisical, unproductive... ways
apathetic, estranged, indifferent...
ambivalent state comatose phase
toward life, when at young age

lacked joie de vivre evincing braise
zen lee oblivious zombie behavior
upon quick observation displayed craze
zee demeanor synonymous
with institutionalized craze
zee wardens of the state,

and at present realize futility to raise
hullabaloo, when 20/20 hindsight
shines figurative light on
how appeared to laze
about lost in space,
within outer limits
of my own twilight zone ways!
(Now words written some months back more urgent then ever)!

Trumpet call to action,
sans barreling totalitarian
tilt per prez zee dent shill faction
already wrecking ball -
even without Miley Cyrus - got traction.

Das boot Trump out-
(oust him to) Mexico or Waterloo
lip smacking gangs eagerly await
bully in White House and true
as Reince prescience fore tells poe
whit yawl get lucky strike
if keep Taj Mahal shaped shoo
fur deux hundred daze
starring scary motley crue.

╰☆╮I'm royal heir to peace mongering hoarders,╰☆╮
which comb hen might handy when borders
hermetically sealed, per heil hit lore
caw zing a furor with his stark orders.

Gestapo Re Don Dint (doomsday)
I dont wanna don a quack dynasty outfit,
or that of wood chucker
but...holy *******
kudos to heckler, who deems
steam roller Trump as one mean trucker.

Thus - for umpteenth attempt to post
with noah intention
to induce rabid reaction to roast
my *** (albeit scrawny just to be cheeky),
I duck rye America will burn like toast

if.... mister money bags reaches
full term finish line of presidential electorate,
he doth stick out pudgy leatherneck
with reassurance,
sans hiz safely guarded golf coast.

My anti Donald trump screed
WE MUST DO MORE THAN YODEL LOUD: all agreed
out....out...get...lest cruel nightmare har reed
thru legislation - ding ****
the witch's dead donald drake...freed

bigotry, derogatory hate, hence
out...of...here...without...his...coat...indeed
of...armor, nor golden golfing irons greed
dilly bought with monies usurped
unpaid/underpaid migrants MUST NOT heed
no passivity, who rightfully
feel indignant and teed.

I dune hot condone political measures
paws sauté fracas mane lion kapo - louse
jabbering indiscretion via his blouse
zee and breezy haughty snub nosed
air audacity, haughty, and superiority
on par with Doctor Zeuse
herewith continues poem,

I dashed off ala hill a re: huff - to douse
Auld don self serving trumpeting and gel lee
joie de vivre dystopian *******
inducing nostalgia fin d siecle
Barack Obama utopia of yesterday
now 45th lacking prez cred,

he doth thrive to squeeze gnarly paws,
around world asper hobnobbing
with bigwigs snatching grab-bag to carouse
invariably sparking angry birds viz
puffin that retweet his sewerage bilge -

strike horror tummy senses -
for antithetical opinions heed espouse
based on scary political fracas
and ominous nightmare whar mo' will grouse
to obstruct Trump accessing black keys to arouse

looming presidential nightmare
became real - gruff louse
he crushes sacred freedoms,
whence civilization goes off bluff
analogous to a rabid Tom cat
terminating the life of poor ole Mickey Mouse.

DUCK AFTER DUMP PING THE DON
air ring ma thoughts - no matter aye ham
juiced one twenty first century mwm ape
serves as genuine s cape
to fly (during pitch

black hours of night) and escape
burning effigies, where his jumbo jet,
a sonic boom stick bewitching like Snape
temporarily tough feign ruffled feathers sans ****
pay shuss selfish lust, when world
slides down behavioral sink into Old Rotten Gotham,
where he twill jape
at distant outlier from madding crowd a gape.

At sheer inanity trumpeting strumpets donning innate
prejudice and senselessness purr
blind faith toward self avowed demigod --
seize ***** viz Cesar

his hair coiffed and puffed like it whir
wind blown kickstart ting mobs to stir
paying bodyguards
to evict ruckus-causing murmur
oh...how the masses will let this country.

Go to hell in hand basket
and rack up stratospheric global debt
cause zing this one measly mortal male to fret
that totalitarian rule will force every man,
woman and child to march....het

two...three...four, while the billionaire
turns a third blind eye speeds away
in his foo fighter jet
argh...heavens to Betsy DeVos,
how did fickle finger of fate let

this pompous ***
vacuum majority votes across world wide net
to finagle vox populi,
and groom hooligan nasty ruffian thugs
with smashed face doughy as smart putty pet

bump ping uglies henchmen bedlam set
to create their own version of the tet
offensive, despite croup
bawling ashen faced deportees,

whose tears sentence innocent to po' ver tee
branding indiscriminately vet
so culled unwanted ill eagle "aliens"
labored with nose to grindstone

fingers to the bone vainly,
their American dream parched whence whet
long story short - pondering
rental circumstance will equal net

zero importance, and will be upended if this ret
chad, ewol, googly-eyed, gastronomic,
narcissistic bullish don will set
the spark for world war three -

via gone ah re: ha...ha...ha...to all vet
tureens within American crucible melting *** -
with backs whet
unless....Katrina and the Waves,
superman or Sabrina can oust him yet.
awesome apothecary addressed as Agamemnon  
alleviates anxiety, and alimentary aggravation
anodyne appeasement arrests ailment
amphetamines acquaintanceship assuages
agonizing aches also advocates amorousness

assiduously activating admiration
aggressive attacks assault air afoul
affable affinity affects adumbration
anatomical accidental addiction attested as academic,

although afterward abnegation absolutely arduous,
affianced attired apparently as an anomaly
Ares and Abyssinian Astarte admixture
acquiescence affliction affected adroitly,

and abruptly abends accessible
altruistic alms axed
albeit admonishing, alluding,
and attributing authored

autonomous anonymous adroit arriviste agents
accompanying as accomplished accomplices
accredited ace advertisers
applaud ascendent assaults amidst agonizing appeals

acting all acrimoniously apropos
avowedly ardently, and antagonistically, agitating
appositely advocating ancillary assistance  
addict adrift afloat anchors away

assails along, among, and an alias archenemy -
adorned abominable assassin alters ambition
adroitly, aggressively, absolutely
addict announces asseveration

against avid admonishment
alarmingly annulling authentic affiliation
anew anonymous ability acclaims alignment
aegis actually adversarial abetting attrition appetite

acceleration ascendent after aplenty anesthetization
additionally activating arced analogous arrow
advancing added abdominal and arterial agony
abject ambivalence arrests accomplishments attainable

any artistic avocation absconded
asper auditorial approbation, animadversion
artificial aggrandizement abrogates astuteness
appropriate adjudication affronted

alternative afforded amnesty about acing audioslave
as aerosmith ambition assumes arriviste affectation
already appalling alacrity awakens amendment
although Awol administration adamant

acrimonious affront agonizingly attributable
announces another afterworld
apparent ailing apparition
ardent allegiance asking anyone appreciable affix
apathy abounds attending apriorism allotment.
(21st century pearly white prosthetics,
restored jaw bar wah key)

Aye noel hunger bristle,
and when false teeth soak at night
     in tandem with stubby ****** gristle
har reckon noah kisses

     far me under mistle
toe, which prickly stubble
     ma home grown thistle
the downside being, not one
     chic chick, foxy gal
     can I sound cat call whistle.

All those years I underwent
     orthodontic care for naught
cuz profound gum recession
     and bone dissolution
(advanced periodontal disease)

     found me fraught
with angst riddled necessity,
     whence dentures bought
and brought emotional relief,
     where financial cost to me equaled aught.

Though grievous o'er grandiose
     diet of baby food – reg gar agit
tay shun rubs raw rib bill bit
subject recently queried fit
ting lee (tummy eldest sister)
     now answered with true grit

sans state 'o me health
     of body, mind and spirit
yea...yea...with the following
     poe whet tics *** writ.

Ten re guard ding learn'n tuck
     cap cha current day coup page
with collage of words that best
attempt to convey how one feels
after half dozen teeth removed,

yes, that day of departure fur remaining
lower teeth transpired countless
months ago with gums sorely adjusted
dats da tooth full testament to grinning,
and bearing final surrender
of thine bottom choppers.

Twas not with glee this dear bro
did accept fate, and now twitters like crow
adjusting new sans parabolic learning curve
     to talk where speech
     formerly akin to blob of dough

being formless, yet with for
     rest full gumption resignation
to these extractions did flow
into mine psyche (with twinge
     of accursed displease), boot go

to the University of Pennsylvania
     Dental School and heave I've hen ***,
this scrivener and regular joe
tried to find silver lining ya noun owe
removal of upper teeth from those
less than five centimeters below.

Long since scheduled
     about four bajillion weeks
(in the past, and relegated tummy
     personal dustbin of history)

     i.e. aboot Bad Jillian deux fortnight
found yours truly unable to reef er
     to the skin of my teeth,
yea this circumstance
     doth null hunger **** n bit

'though once dentures fitted,
     thee psychological gloom
(per maxillofacial situation)
   with relief insurance
     picked up tab breathes
     sigh of relief all day'n height.

if hi ignored grim state
     of vital accessories to chew
this har chap experienced additional
molars, cuspids, canines...
     falling out though few
remained upon embarkation,
     per painful turn of events, grew
ling a smidgen less worse

     than getting tossed out hoo
chee coot chee mama into
     the freezing brutal cold
by none other than Donald Trump
     eskimo master of royal igloo,
while Sarah Ann aid ding howling winds
of n arctic monkey shape shifting
into polar vortex, wood dove probably
found me coo wing in deleterious
state of health thru and thru.

Other than the above
     Matthew Scott Harris feels great
well.... on the bright side -
     no need to brush nor floss,
when ma mouth opened ajar -
   bing permanently totally toothless -

     aye noel anger viz self hate,
hence nor feel inclined
     to master ventriloquism, boot
     axe hep oral void analogous
     newborn as innate
vis a visa discover ring
     joyus toothless state.
A heavy heart this papa doth air
signals necessary pang...
this father must bear
though...with muted pomp
and circumstances I cheer

stunning transformation unbelievable,
sans thee as youngest daughter
doth commensurately commandeer
her life by the figurative horns buck haws
self reliance mandatory to attain

indomitable survival deer
to push comfort zones she
lucked out with genetics
that didst electioneer
despite inherent trepidation and fear,

she (beloved, emboldened,
invincible, et cetera) progeny
acquiring, developing, and
possessing radiant flair,
whose sunny countenance

brilliant blinding glare
akin to an angelic spirit hooh did hare
kin profuse joie de vivre inhere
within hermetically sealed armor,
asper this "FAKE" junketeer,

where parting with bittersweet
sorrow tugs this longhair
dada, smote by whirlwind visit,
and now oppressive pronounced absence
more painful greater than hiatus near

four years ago, when venturing ala pioneer
(with just sixteen orbits
under your Kuiper Belt), ye yearned to rear
up despite congenital
(high functioning autism) diagnosis

you launched unlimited sky rocketeer
initially requiring parental consent
as dreams tease your fancy
over the rainbow somewhere
reverentially obliged, essentially,

dauntlessly and courageously climbing stair
weigh to heaven as thee define
ultimate goal, bon voyage unavoidably tear
ring at this being, unbear
rubble, who helped beget thee, yet...
cannot do otherwise but

abide by law of nature...unfair
for birth parents to experience unbear
hubble sadness, though starkly oh ware
precious offspring must take flight...
argh grievous heartache until...
sands of time mark many a year!
i could stare at your very photogenic (albeit invisible) countenance all day, all week, the entire month, this remaining year, at least one additional decade, boot no more than a century21!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Looking for a best friend, or...a wurst (liver) re: enemy.

brief bio Matthew Scott Harris doth briefly sketch
almost two win a half score years since me being:
Born January 13th, 1959

I shake my shaggy hirsute hair
in utter disbelief, when the cocked arrow
begat thine conception,
when meal ate mum and octogenarian papa

begat their second offspring and only son,
what now seems to be a stepped-up pace,
where father time doth affix another candle to blow
where the passage of life measured

in swiftly tailored decades
denoting another birthday,
when with the blink of an eye,
I vividly recall crow

wing like a Lil whippersnapper of a boy
leisurely playing monopoly
for make-believe dough...
--------------------------------------------
nothing ranks as the greatest gift
since being a father twenty-one years ago
then bearing witness to grow
increasing autonomy

of my two precious daughters
whereby each will become master
of their domain, and meet a loving beau
(actually thy eldest dates
a delightful young man
from Puerto Re Coe),

whom intuition discerns would be
a near perfect match –
and this papa intuits dough
nuts to dollars – that such an
em man hint gentle, humble,

intelligent lad – doth ***
pa fully become the future groom
of said firstborn, (which outcome I know
wing couched in a couple of poems

sent his way, and no doubt his smarts lo'
and behold revealed the slightly obscure wish),
where love doth most obviously abound mo'
then prevailed between myself and bride o'

mine these last deuce score
plus (21+) years, but now this Poe
whit aspires to recognize the worthiness of she,
whose chose thyself as a lifetime
groom cuz peaceful status quo

avoiding animosity –
as thyself and spouse gently row
merrily...merrily...merrily
our quiet quite rickety craft
which oft times in the past needed a tow
off the craggy shoals of constant woe.
an average of 2,830 cubic meters

per second of rich silt

forms an alluvial plain

spreads outward in a fan shape


from sedimentary deposit whereby

ancient Egyptian civilizations got built

adorning arid topography invaluable

like aorta pumping blood at the nape

of the neck, yet analogous context


engendered engineering feats without guilt

whereby artisans, craftsmen,

early geographers illustrated in frieze and drape

frozen timeless statuary exhibiting

phenomenal abilities to the hilt


associated from mainspring within

fertile crescent swollen like a plump grape

which longest river often overflows

banks whereby coveted materiel gets spilt


feeding the rift valley and allowing,

enabling and providing peoples to dominate

flooding the history of mankind

with accomplishments that marvel even today

epitomized by innovations -


alphabets, wheelwrights, pyramids, etc lives did create

baffling historians how each mortise and tenon

snug as a bug in a rug mortise and tenon block

construed edifices persons did intricately lay


perfect with near geometric exactitude

ranks as wonder of webbed wide world great

faint hints of daily trials and tribulations

recorded for posterity in clay

or shards of broken pottery pieced together

coupling revelations a mosaic plate

which functional artifacts

provided dietary staples

to pagan spirits populace did pray.
(what...me write vernacular English???)

Okay, the gist of anemic
     checking account averred
asked from one
     FaceBook English Literary bird,
I could plainly enumerate
     Sachin be cured
of spellbinding nightmares,
     and not accused

    of acting demurred
the esse cent chill
     dime a dozen premise ensured
prime merrily to discover
     visa wells Fargo
     sieve err (ala Eratosthenes) forward
solution, whereby means
     to save money

     against being gored
no...no...no...not to be stingy,
     nor selfishly hoard
meager unearned social security
     monthly allotment, aye ignored
to mention as key piece
     of information a dub bill
lit tete ting bout with anxiety,

     obsessive compulsive, not cavil
air lee shaken off and schizoid
     personality disorder like evil
mailer daemons, which
     undermined ability to full fill
quality existence, and even
     prescribed about,
     a half dozen

     medications help ill
psyche, though nonetheless mill
yens of precious moments pill
furred with pro
     fuse sweating still
interferes supplementing,
     stoking, and socking

     away reserve till,
last creased furrow sought out
     here in Schwenksville
     Pennsylvania most likely, where
     one last gulp of oxygen will
finally deliver cremated ashes

     into eternal void
where psychological state
     free from being destroyed
and forever exempt trying
     to be write lee employed!
Speculative fictitious flirtation imagined
courtesy grown old male offspring (me)
begat when mine late mother and father met
former named, a popular Arthur Murray
ballroom dance studio instructor.

Subtle social cues (nonverbal or otherwise)
relayed, linkedin and exchanged
constituting courtship between
Harriet and Boyce
particularly on Valentine's Day
circa ~ mid 1950's.

Two young lovebirds
oblivious to cares and concerns
of uncertain webbed wide) world
passionately kissed each other
murmuring sweet nothings
within most convenient ear of the other.

Romance blossomed
requited love ensued
avowed marital troth pledged,
a June 1955 wedding planned.

Soon thereafter
bedroom door locked, I presume
unbridled call of the wild
high powered pistol loosed
courtesy soundcloud hit bullseye
with figurative vroom
biological seed of life
and white Lily fertilized.

Thirteen months after eldest sister born
suckling from horn
of good hope
breast nursing done during the morn.

Forthwith brother planted in womb
hereditary characteristics transmitted
eons old traits disseminated
multitude of random chromosomes
deployed comprising frothy spume
housed generations foregone

maternal and paternal genes
unleashed unwittingly bequeathed
by ancestral forebears
anonymous long forgotten handsome groom
memorabilia couched as tintype
(also known as
a melainotype or ferrotype)

treasured analogous as
if relic dug up within ancient tomb,
perhaps clapper and bell foretold whom
yours truly acquired his
mental health predilection
predisposed toward gloom
mindset swirls with nihilistic doom.

Psychological angst chafes and doth abrade
existential crisis rooted psyche with ankh ring
travesty, mockery, and entropy cast charade
circumspection immediately
brings to forefront
of consciousness positive (necessary)

risk taking I did evade
exemplified by failing nearly every grade
inferiority complex insinuated and did invade
mucking up healthy livingsocial buzzfeeding,
when too many cooks spoil the broth,
hence being superfluous kitchenaid,
hence as schnorrer I masquerade.
clangorously declaring emergency, fate grimly heckles,
implies jackknifed life, killing my natural optimism,
positivism quashed, re: sort to undertake vitality,
wreckage xing yawping, zigzagging, alms breeching
charily. death embraced for grave happenstance,
indigent jarring kingdom, losing my native ordinary pleasure,
quivering ringing, singularly tripping uppermost volume
while Xeroxing yellowing zone, albatross blithely crushing desire
effecting fun, grippe holding impossible, Jackhammer
keeps lamentably mashing nasty oppressive pierced quaking,
reducing sensibility to utterly voiced worthlessness,
x-rays yield zero ambition boosting capacity driving
existence, future gloomy heralds iffy joie de vivre, killing
lousy male negative outlook presages quintessential
rage spilling thru useless voiceless wretched xiphoid zeal.
quickly found the missus ready to faint

Like a madman possessed
by mailer daemon lemme acquaint
ye with the following verse, I will bepaint
momentary horror, where yours truly
entered momentary third eye blind rage

loosing violent constraint
nearly ****** knife
into right leg without restraint,
which curtailed prospective martyrdom,
thus scotching, nullifying, denying...
me anointed apostolic saint

plus stripping christened name,
one Matthew Scott,
cuz he threatened to harm himself
invariably with permanent
leg a see did taint

moment of spontaneity
instantaneously vanished without a trace
when irrational brandished
white as a ghostly corpse petrified wife,
who merely felt playfully frisky
I haint kitten,

yours truly reflexively reached
for paring, quartering,
halving deboning, cutting...
said kitchen utensil
nearly sabotaged marriage
finding zee spouse suddenly widowed

(never writing last will and testament,
nor in fact ever drafting first)
as husband almost pitched himself
into wuz bin realm
courtesy short nasty brute
mine generic doppelganger
harkening back to dem good ole days,
when regular altercations occurred

heralding grab regarding lovely bag of bones
birds of prey didst carrion and buzzfeed
scavenging any shred of wedded bliss
which auld lang syne times
well nigh witnessed fisticuff strife,

though these previous half dozen years
considerably less rife and riddled
with expletive strewn epithets
that cut sharper than a dull knife.

Momentary loss of reason
every now and again
finds me skull comfortably numb
just another brick in the wall
reckoning, we don't need no education
acquiring diploma courtesy
hard skool of knocks alumnus

attests he experienced
arduous, horrendous, opprobrious, and venomous
environment pinterest tingly linkedin
with congenital predisposition to anxiety/
panic attacks in toto
enroute visiting Wizard of Ozzy Osbourne.
Found me raised
     in the Antebellum South
     born an academically gifted
     whip smart, (and any other
     apropos) above average adage
smart son with a
     healthy dose of Melanin and Melania
     donned and trump petted

     asper a proud black is beautiful,
     sans ebony badge,
whereat me instrumental mama and pop
     acquired grudging cunning
     insinuation to cadge
teaching material convincingly
     claiming lofty aim
intent to instruct

     slave master's children
     all to eager to accept blame,
when any vicious rumor
got afoot with "FAKE" claim
that lessons did
     critique and declaim
antithetical quasi Aryan racial superior
     viewpoints (preceding Adolf ******

     by about a century),
     knowingly could enflame
status quo, which feigned
     "playing dumb" duh -
     faux blockhead frame
(wha ya mean *****) game
at very bedrock foundation
     pre politically correct cursor meme

lee complex edifice
     slave owning name
     acutely aware intent esse chew
wing such societally
     radical implications, to due
tee fully fortuitously, gradually,
     and hopefully, un glue,
(especially via schooling impressionable

     young African American
     or other ebony hue
shaded skin with Jew
whoosh propositions of equality)
righteous precepts nullifying lou
duck criss bastardizing American moo

nuff phish witch hunts (sea thing),
     a gimcrackery, mockery,
     and travesty poo
poo wing credo, ethos,
     highlights, et cetera sow
wing equality, harmony, and liberty in tow.
I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze

soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted fat grows
on me, no matter healthy diet
of worms, or how I stand,
not so easy add a pose

zing losing battle – Mary Jo's
if and geeze us of bulge ill flattering
particularly quiverly, sans white
"WALL" tire tread fully goes
steely belted around lower
abdominal area like lava floes

siring unsightly expose
yore squishy Jew dish priestly
punchy,plasma paunchy, gristly...
pillow like marshmallows
fittingly, rotundly soundly
identical with other schlep

tin (tin tabulation) grungy hobos,
this lap ****** lard (lord) Who Lee
bemoaning, how ilk readily knows,
where unwanted bulky flab...
most detested - hence Corp Yule Lance
leaves noth thin to noblesse oblige,

know bull eats obese,
anorexia nervosa or chance
barking out orders reminiscent, when he
hapt tubby a caller at
weekly square and/or contra dance,
now requisitioned to insulate

and excessively enhance
body electric can be mushed
into likeness of fleshy France
or repurposed into expanse
resembling any country,

whose name Kants
be easily pronounced, and historical
events glommed together recognizable
as Ataturk with a lance
bequeathed to rule World advance
sing gluttony as his divine providence,

thus requires deep dish allegiance
(non - fiber - binding contract)
for eats and make decadent
every fleshpot gourmand
stretching cellular skein to capacitance

bestowing guaranteed deliverance
with their rolling
ballooning massive circumference
into orbit with Earthly moon officiant
eternal fondue irrelevance!
No Holiday music can soothe savage beast
washboard abdomen weight watcher's dream fleeced
skinny bag of lovely bones permanently leased
body snatcher somewhere amidst policed

madding crowd of carolers singing,
where mine sinking spirits ceased
rising today December 18th, 2020
analogous how unleavened bread
(i.e. matzo) lacks yeast.

I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze

soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted fat grows
on me, no matter healthy diet
of worms, or how I stand,
not so easy (Etsy) as add a pose

zing losing battle – Mary Jo's
if and geeze us of bulge ill flattering
particularly quiverly, sans white
"WALL" tire tread fully goes
steely belted around lower
abdominal area like lava floes

siring unsightly expose
yore squishy Jew dish priestly
punchy, plasma paunchy, gristly...
pillow like marshmallows
fittingly, rotundly soundly
identical with other schlep

tin (tin tabulation) grungy hobos,
this lap ****** lard (lord) Who Lee
bemoaning, how ilk readily knows,
where unwanted bulky flab...
most detested - hence Corp Yule Lance
leaves noth thin to noblesse oblige,

know bull eats obese,
anorexia nervosa or chance
barking out orders reminiscent, when he
hapt tubby a caller wannabe at
weekly square and/or contra dance,
now requisitioned to insulate

and excessively enhance
body electric can be mushed
into likeness of fleshy France
or repurposed into expanse
resembling any country,

whose name Kants
be easily pronounced, and historical
events glommed together recognizable
as Ataturk with a lance
bequeathed to rule World advance

sing gluttony as his divine providence,
thus requires deep dish allegiance
(non - fiber - binding contract)
for eats and make decadent
every fleshpot gourmand
stretching consumer cellular
skein to capacitance

bestowing guaranteed deliverance
with their rolling
ballooning massive circumference
into orbit with Earthly moon officiant
eternal fondue irrelevance!
Chinks of light filter
thru pitchblack emotional prison
vestigial shadow figure hunkers,
an atrophied, mortified, petrified old man
implacable self destructive nemesis
birthed in league pitiful human shambles,

his abysmally forlorn existence
scotched, sabotaged, severely short changed
agonizing depression tortures psyche
family abandoned nsync,
entrenched self cannibalization
devastating vicious feedback loop

exhaustedly drained kith and kin
unconditional, unbridled, unalloyed... love,
no longer spouts, issues, gushes... profusely
familial fountainhead ceased functioning
dry as lovely bones
analogous to fossilized remains

once robust sibling affections,
in toto once dogged sisterly doting
twisted beyond recognition
ditto daughterly acclamation,
adoration, affection, appreciation...
on par with courtly

majestic Fontainebleau
once regaling Francis I (16th century king),
nothing but absolute zero *******
shackled to solitary confinement
imprisoned impenetrable fortress invisible,
yet...ineradicable as

strongest Earthly material
isolation wrought since...
yours truly begat life in utero
punctuated when obstetrician
pronounced "it's a boy!"

Unbeknownst to very
short lived carefree being
neurological, mental, libidinal... flaws
would spell disaster
spanning scores of years
majority of existence (mine)

participation buzzfeeding livingsocial
shuttered within inaccessible dungeon
surrounded by deepest known moat,
within which flourished fearsome beasts
turned rogue, and conspired
assassination (not yet successful),
whereby one poker face

(born that way)
wretched soul condemned
to psychological abomination
forbidden to terminate
said despicable mortality,
thus suffers life sentence of
yawping, writhing, unnerving... tumult.
Florence hydra logical might -
tee pseudo tentacles, monstrous sight
didst bring watery plight,
deluge rivaling Noah - bliss oblige
     epic flood of biblical
     proportions, downright
terrible, re:, a drowning egregious fright
ten ning (in contest

     able uber catastrophe) - Don know why
     das trumpeting spare none, tossing,
     pitching, and lap
     ping blithely alight
ting across geography of thee
     Old North State leaving affright
full trail of destruction, (envied by
     the ghost of General

     William Tecumseh Sherman),
     he no match, where battling
     mortal men didst bite
the bullet outflanked,
     sans doodling Yankees topflight
capstone march to the sea,
     then touted as outright
masterful stroke, asper,

     turning tide of historical Civil war,
     which swath of indiscriminate overnight
destruction in tandem
     followed his Georgia quick step,
     successful Atlanta battle, fight
     ten, which campaign
     rendered victory in sight
Union accorded devastated country

     as winning *****, viz prizefight
ting champions clearly, grimly,
     and lamentably plunged
     once promisingly emergent
     then vanquished Confederacy
     with defeat written
     in figurative bombsight,
qua Rebels surrendering

     at lanced armstrong
     rapier pointed to Appomattox Court House
     original United States territory
     initially indigenous copyright,
stolen, whence ark enemy
     routed, killed, and decimated
     blood brethren human kind -
versus present natural disaster

     no matter meteorologists foresight,
nonetheless horrendously cruel debacle
     crushing The Tar Heel state
     trouncing analogously
     as aqueous blight
**** hellacious sight
tropical storm forcibly reclaiming
     visa vis re

     discovered primacy birthright
(i.e. revanchist deeded sic - seeded),
what "she," viz Mother Nature
     felt tubby "her" right,
bar no holds Gaia
     pulled out all stops
     punishingly ravaged North Carolina
     mercilessly didst wring

havoc bore out flooding
     and proved accurate "NON
     FAKE" fervent devout
     alarmist theologians
     appropriating weather forecasters dire
     prediction as doomsday message
     fore taste testing, telling, and texting
     presaging Armageddon authored

     by cosmic playwright,
whence global pulverizing,
     savaging, and torturing spite
     fully sucker punching
     swing, perhaps indicative dire strait
(a hunch from this topflight
atheist) posits ultraright
religionists possibly ascribe
     divine creator a bit uptight.
(Sanatoga, Pennsylvania location)

I luxuriated as inkling of spring 2021
offered sneak preview today
March third as temperatures
reached low fifties Fahrenheit.

Yours truly began reading
one paperback book
(I purchased three),
and absorbed daily dose of Vitamin D
while secretly ensconced
within favorite nook.

This middle aged rue stirring ******
favors warmth, boot haint no stranger to cold,
when dark hen stormy wintry days
eggs hit from Arctic portal enfold
ding Atlantic Seaboard
in a blizzard of bitterly, blindingly, and
brutally sub zero temperatures
from an occasional nor'easter
fiercely gripping hold,

the majority years, sans this prolific
recalcitrant scrivener lived
in various and sundry abode
housed within Southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
with 19473 current zip code,
and during my boyhood recall,

how massive ice sheets did erode
the (then) opened expansive farmland,
in preparation for planting time,
where runnels of frigid water flowed
with childish cheeks exposed to glowed
after hours upon
many a green acre got tilled and hoed

despite feeling energized and refreshed
with arms and legs ne'er frozen
aye didst eagerly await with exuberant yen
kickstarting thy body electric
experiencing hearthstone nook
designed and built by Christopher Wren
after heading indoors counting fingers
and toes to make sure, I still got ten

soon hearing the chorus of fauna,
and floral kaleidoscope of color
aground or taking wing
thus, upon thawing out thoughts
drifted toward approaching spring,
the season revitalizing
dormant natural inhabitants,

whose excitement (like mine) didst ping
announcing the debut of fecundity
nsync with screeching
from the lizard king
who entered and did break on thru
doors of fame and fortune  
becoming out of this world legendary
rock and roll icon,
nevertheless, he joined twenty seven club
for permanent fling.
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