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Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2017
... You're alone in the jungle.
Don't wait, don't wish, you'll be deceived.
If you see a prey, attack.



- LynnAA
The Lion Eats Tonight.

3/12/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Feb 2017
مشاعري تخصّني، إبقو بعيداً عن تحليلها لمراعاة صراعاتكم الدّاخليّة



My feelings pertain to me - stay away from analysing them to ease down your own inner warfares.



لين اا -
- LynnAA
و شكراً
And thank you

1/2/2017
495 · Jan 2015
Puff
Lynn Al-Abiad Jan 2015
Let me stay in your arms a little longer
Before the smell of your cigarette holds on to my light brown hair.




-LynnAA
12/1/2015
493 · Jan 2015
Sir, Can We Find A Bed?
Lynn Al-Abiad Jan 2015
Hello, Sir, would you like a drink?

He didn't lift his head
No, thank you

His voice was gruff
Maybe smoky
Or just *******
She couldn't tell
It was raw and deep
Just like the North Atlantic Ocean
It held the amount of women
He must have broken
Or ******
Or maybe both
It was inviting
And she wanted an invitation

Alright, Sir




-LynnAA
Hello, Sir, would you like a cup of black coffee?
7/1/2015
490 · Oct 2017
We Use and Abuse
Lynn Al-Abiad Oct 2017
There's a thin line between freedom and freedom.
There's a freedom that you abuse and a freedom that you wisely use.



- LynnAA
18/10/2017
488 · Mar 2017
Keeping Harmful Breeds Away
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
I learned never to alert certain people when they're being disrespectful
- they don't care who they hurt and they'll disrespect you in return. No exceptions.
Not to mention the judgmental sheep that applaud for them. Yeah... Those people-oids will boost ****** egos higher down cracked soil.
Archaic humans don't deserve my time, they don't deserve kindness - they don't even know it exists.
Let them drown in their cynical tones and mental complexes on their own.



- LynnAA
We're in 2017 and some people haven't even crossed 1528 yet.

25/3/2017
486 · Mar 2017
Ivresse
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
Notre vin est rouge et nos levés de soleil sont rosés. Enivrons-nous.



--------------------



Our wine is red and our dawns are rose. Let's get drunk.



- LynnAA
1/3/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
Hide me in a man's skin and I'll show you what a woman really is.



- LynnAA
Because I know I have a man inside me. So does every woman.
Because every man has a woman inside him as well.

16/06/2017
480 · Jun 2017
حَلْق - Larynx
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
ِأتمنّى أن تجدي صوتاً لحُنجُرَتِك



I hope you find a voice that fits your throat



لين اا -
- LynnAA
Next thing I know, you're in the Bolshoi.

13/06/2017
478 · Aug 2015
Dear Silence,
Lynn Al-Abiad Aug 2015
I hope, one day, guilt will eat you alive
Until you wake up every night screaming my name




Yours no longer,
LynnAA
5/8/2015
477 · Apr 2017
Glitches
Lynn Al-Abiad Apr 2017
If she doesn't talk to you
If he leaves meaningless messages
If they use the same words
If she colours the same way
If he creates layers
If they act kind, even though they really are
If she pokes you constantly
If he looks at you always
If they keep you away
If she can see you
If he can't see you
If they pretend they don't care
If she shoots the same sunsets
If he dips his feet in the same sea
If they talk to the same flower
If she makes sure to know everything
If he chooses to know nothing
If they choose what to know and ignore what should be ignored
If she rages
If he looks calm
If they take roles, to impose strength
If she looks like a lion
If he is as big as a whale
If they mark their territories
Know that
None of these are real
None of these are true
None of these keep peace
None of these make you grow
All of these are inner fights
All of these are loops
All of these are grudges held within
All of these are closures that never happened
All of these are simply echoes that we are deaf to
They are echoes that make us go as mute as the wind in summer, if there was ever any wind.
Once you know that all you should do is pour your heart out, every other venomous act will dissolve into non-existence.
Be kind to yourself, and grant yourself a closure.



- LynnAA
21/4/2017
475 · Dec 2016
See Food
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2016
I love them too much for their effort, but I'm tired of watching them taking care of us with all of what they can't have.



- LynnAA
To you especially, my one and only R.


5/12/2016
472 · Mar 2017
E.M.T.I.C.
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
Once more it was you
This itchy thought in-between my legs
This greed, this insufficiency
This urge to run away, the force of habit of coming back
Once more to you, with you, beside you, on you, in you, under you, on top of you, next to you, close to you, to you, you, you, you, you.
Never satiated. Never will I be.



- LynnAA
2/3/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
و لذُروَة الحُب، غَشاوَة



لين اا -
و لذُروَة الحُب، غَشاوَة


18/06/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
البيت هوي مرجوحة كبيرة عل فيراندا و أنا قاعدة عليها عارية و الشمس عم بتغيب عجسمي



Home is me sitting on a fairly big swing on the veranda as the sun is setting on my body



لين اا -
- LynnAA
Love Note / Note To Self

11/06/2017
470 · Jun 2017
And I laughed
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
I imagined it falling down the toilet seat, and I laughed.



- LynnAA
And I laughed

06/06/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Jul 2017
بما إنّو هل إيّام صارو معظم النسوان يشتغلو
فتَقَر البلد باللَّتلَتة
فاجتَمَعوا رجال شرطة البلديّة عرَكوَة قهوة
و عبّو هل الفراغ الإجتماعي بقيل و قال
عالرايح و الجايي و الواقف و القاعد
العِلّة مش بالنسوان
"العِلّة بهل الشعب "المضياف



لين اا -
شعب آخر زمن

11/07/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2017
Yes, I know that some nights I cross your mind and I know you still love me - with all the concepts you assign to that feeling, to which I don't necessarily agree, but I do think about you as well, and love you my way, not yours.
You might carry me with you forever. I hope you will. I hope my home in you has a garden planted with flowers, with a beautiful little home and a nice veranda to sit there with you in the sun whenever you visit me.
I will carry you with me, until I'm old and senile and start to forget everything, even my sons' names, but not you.
Your home in me now is surrounded by thorn wires, but the day will come when the war will be over and I'll plant you a garden full of trees to shade you.
As for now, I'm accepting my war, because you are the war.



- LynnAA
Things I need to know.

15/05/2017
458 · Dec 2017
Something
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2017
Everyone is a little of something and a lot of something else.



- LynnAA
29/11/2017
454 · Mar 2017
Simulations
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
If your aim is to play games
If your aim is to hurt souls
Stay away.
Don't try to step on a soil you  don't know how to walk on.
My wild plants will eat you alive.
I am no woman to be fooled.
I will draw your limits with a brush of my arm, like the ballerina I am.
Drop the masks.
I don't like clowns and you're a really bad one.



- LynnAA
25/3/2017
453 · Dec 2016
A Fully Living Being
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2016
Consider me nonexistent, as if I belonged to no womb.
To you, I am nameless, I am odorless.
I am a mass of flesh you've never touched.



- LynnAA
Oblivion is a choice.

4/12/2016
449 · May 2015
Wrong. Always.
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2015
He had shaved his beard
But his hair was still short

The sun had kissed his skin many times
And had left her mark on him

His eyebrows frowned in a way
It made me want to touch his cheek

Seeing this man
Looking so young
Wanting to be so independent
Made me smile in sadness.




-LynnAA
#6
Clint Mansell - The Last Man

3/5/2015
445 · Oct 2017
To you 3
Lynn Al-Abiad Oct 2017
People die
But we carry on with our habits
We still sip 2 cups of turkish coffee 3 times a day
We still reunite around Sunday's meal
We still clean the dishes right after lunch
We still try to close our eyes and sleep
We still take cabs to get to our jobs
We still make little jokes here and there
We still drink hot cocoa in the morning and tea at night
We still sleep in our underwear
We still hug our biggest pillow in bed
We still wear the same perfume
We still nag about going to work
We still take naps
We still carry a notebook everywhere we go
Almost everything goes back to being the same
But there is this little something inside us, not a scar not sadness nor grief nor anger nor denial, but something that has twisted and changed, something that has cried and learned, something that can move a heavier mountain now, something that keeps us going with who we are.
Something like a storm, that destroys all the frail roads and all the frail apartments - a strong hurricane with all the winter's rain that blows away your clothes and makeup and washes you clean again.



- LynnAA

I miss you
I love you
Thank you
Visit me more often in my shower. I need to feel you. I have so much more to tell you.

01/10/2017
445 · May 2017
Playing With His Hair
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2017
I'd like to know through you what he's wearing, what does he smell like what does he look like, what does he feel like, when did he last smile, is he wearing his purple shades, is he wearing the necklace I got him, did he shave, did he cut his hair, did he like his hair better before he cut it...
I'd like to picture him again and you are the only way. A way I don't like at all but it leads me to him.
Maybe I should stop searching for him through you and I should start looking for him in myself.
He lives in me and only I can see him inside me.
Everything else is only an illusion of him.



- LynnAA
How much love can you hold for someone?

18/05/2017
437 · Nov 2014
"You're Beautiful"
Lynn Al-Abiad Nov 2014
The truth hurt
But he didn't hurt me




-LynnAA
15/11/2014
435 · Apr 2017
Love Note / 2
Lynn Al-Abiad Apr 2017
I do not know you yet, but I am wondering what you might be doing right now.

Do you ever wonder what I would feel like in your arms under thick sheets in winter with the window slightly cracked open?

I do not know you yet but I love you too.
28/4/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Aug 2016
قاععد بالبحر، مادد إجريك و الشمس عم بتبسط ضوها عليك
و هل موجات خفاف و إنت فايش ع وِجّن و مستريح و مغمّض عيونك و نفسك هادي و بلّشت تغفى
و غط وراك طير مهاجر لَيْرَيّح جوانحو شوي، و فجأه طار و قبّت موجة من تحتو و خبطت عليك
عيونك تفتّحو تحت المَي، و ما عدت قادر تاخد نفس
و شي إنك طلّعت راسك لتسترد نفسك، إجت موجة تانية غطّت وجهك و شدّتك لتحت
و إنت عم بتصارع بإديك و إجريك لتطلع تتنفس
و بس رجعت عسطح المَي، سحبك تيّار
و إنت تسبح و هوّي يشدّ و إنت تسبح و هوّي يشدّ
و نفسك بلّش ينقطع، و الموج عم بشبِّئ بوجهك و التيّار عم بياخدك عقعر البحر
و للحظة حسّيت برواييك زمّو
و حسّيت إنّك بطّلت قادر تصارع لا بإيديك ولا بإجريك
و حسّيت إنّو عيونك نْعَمو و مناخيرك ما عم بيوصلّون شي غير ميّة ملح
و جسدك عم بيبرم بالتيّار و ينزل عقعر البحر و نِهايتو مش معروفة ع أيَّه صخرة رح يِلْبُد
و قلبك عم بجرّب يآمن بخلاصك، عم بيِخفق متل المجنون ل يْضُخّ دَمّ مش واصلّو


You are laying on your back in the middle of the sea, and the sun rays are hitting your skin ever so softly
The tide is low, and you are floating on its surface, relaxed, your eyes closed, your breath calm and you are starting to fall asleep
And an immigrant bird, landed behind you to rest its wings, but it suddenly flew and a very high wave rose with him, only to stab your body
Your eyes opened in the water, you couldn't breathe anymore
And as you found your way up to the surface another wave covered your face and pulled you down
You are fighting for a breath with your arms and legs
And once you found your air again, a stream started to pull you
You're trying to swim and it's pulling you, you're trying to swim and it's pulling you
You're losing your breath, the waves are merciless and the stream is taking you to the bottom of the sea
And for a moment you felt your lungs shrinking
And you felt that your arms and legs won't help you anymore
And you felt your eyes blinded and your nose breathing nothing but the salty water
And your body is twirling in the stream going down down into the sea and God knows on which rock you will fall upon
And your heart is trying to believe in your salvation, beating like a maniac to pump blood that is no longer existing



لين اا -
- LynnAA
.رح تبقى شقفي من قلبي لآخر نفس من حياتي
You'll always be a part of my heart, till the last breath I take.

19-20/8/2016
429 · Oct 2016
Extended Hand
Lynn Al-Abiad Oct 2016
Talk to me. Touch me. Be with me in the same room.
You never got to know me. You don't know me. Don't assess me.
Erroneous. Biased.
Don't avoid me and start drawing images of me you created in your head.
Don't wish me away if you have never been near.
Don't disappear and believe I'm still the same.
Don't hide behind walls and look at me through a hole you carved yourself.
Stand before me. The view is better and clearer up close.
And I have a tulip for you.



- LynnAA
Take them both.

12/10/2016
429 · Apr 2017
Love Note / 1
Lynn Al-Abiad Apr 2017
What does she look like when you can't see her?



- LynnAA
20/4/2017
424 · Mar 2017
Beasts To Tame
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
Kiss the beast and he turns back into a human
- just like you,
I hit you straight in the heart and the human in you turns into a beast.



- LynnAA
I can handle wilderness, little beast.

25/3/2017
424 · Apr 2017
Note To Self / 1
Lynn Al-Abiad Apr 2017
When nothing starts, everything ends.



- LynnAA
28/4/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2017
No. I will no longer be ashamed. I won't fear anyone's opinion anymore.
The process of letting you go is a hard road for me. And I will talk about it.
Nothing is more difficult than seperating out of love.
At the time I needed you and you needed me and nothing stopped us, we didn't want to stop.
And today, I must tell myself that it wasn't "love" that kept us going, it was only two empty people that filled each other at the time.
There was love - only you and I hold and understand - that served the lust and the infatuation that fueled our urge to be together.
And when this urge wrapped itself around our necks, I accepted us ending in a separation anchored with silence.
Today, streets and roads and houses and villages and trees remind me of you.
Tomorrow, the same streets and roads and houses and villages and trees will still remind me of you, and everytime I'll miss you or think of you, I will go there hoping I'd see you.
Because boy you were beautiful, and a mess and soft and lost and I couldn't handle you anymore, I was suffocating.
I am mad at you but thank you for letting me go.



- LynnAA
Things you should know.

14/05/2017
423 · Dec 2016
Les Fleurs Du Mal
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2016
Véritablement, ce n'est que l'ignorance des gens qui se traduit en mal.
Offerts une fleur, ils la rejetteront avec un large sourire confiant.



----------



Effectively, it is only the ignorance of people that translates into evil.
Offer them a flower and they'll reject it with a smile ever so confident, ever so wide.



- LynnAA
Baudelaire // Inspired

20/12/2016
420 · Jun 2017
Indian Skirt
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
In that moment, I was so happy to be here I cried
Then I folded some laundry, put everything back to its place, packed my stuff, hanged the keys on the front door and left.
My skirt felt lighter, played along with my legs as I was walking down the stairs.
I was lighter - my *******, my hair, my arms, my ribs, my sole, my toes, even my heart was lighter.



- LynnAA
Still am.

12/06/2017
414 · Sep 2016
Ode To The Moon
Lynn Al-Abiad Sep 2016
Five days before you become whole and I stand on my balcony to gaze at you.
You've been damaged.
Your beauty has been soiled with empty promises, dying love and nonexistent forevers.
You now hold all these burdens with me and I can do nothing but communicate my grief with you silently and mourn it.
You will forever be beautiful and tainted with odorless flowers.



- LynnAA
... I will restore you again.

11/9/2016
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2016
It's 1:00 a.m. and I'm suffocating on my tears, telling myself that I should save myself.
It's hard to cry without a sound, the pain gets deeper in your bones if you don't shout.
And I go to sleep, burying my face in a dry pillow and I wake up the next morning with damp hair and a damp face and I pretend it was all a dream.
Then as I try to get up, my chest weights me down back on my bed, only to realise that my heart has been feeding on my pain all night.



- LynnAA
6/12/2016
406 · Jun 2017
Accepting
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
It is a moment of weakness
It is a moment where I forget to love myself for a fraction of a second
It is a moment where I recall the past to fill up an empty moment in my present
I do not want to go back
I told you, and I'll still tell you,
I would rather choke than feel again everything I have ever felt every moment I told you I loved you
No, this is not a goodbye message, it is not a love note, it is not about you, it is not me grieving
It is me, a year later, stronger, older, wiser, kinder, happier, freed and waiting for more freedom
Even so, I will always colour the center of my mandalas dark red



- LynnAA
They come and parts of them stay. Because this is how things are. And I love how things can be.

16/06/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Oct 2017
Even if your face is bathing in sunlight, you will close your eyes and sleep.



- LynnAA
While lying down on a couch that wasn't mine in a state that was completely mine.

Sep-17
404 · Sep 2016
Love, With Rythm
Lynn Al-Abiad Sep 2016
I dance to feel my body
I dance to live in a lively skin
I dance to feel love and give love
To feel pain and take pain away
I dance to feel pleasure, sadness, ecstasy, tiredness, short breaths, fast heartbeats, sweat, elegance, strength, beauty...
Beauty.
Dance is beauty.
And I want to make you feel beautiful.
I want to pour my love into you and twist your pain out of your fingertips. I want to twirl around you and make you feel a soft breeze, make you feel me from a distance. I want to leap into your arms and trust you to catch me. I want to slide my body so close to yours and burn with our fire.
We will dance and only stop chest to chest, close enough so that when we breathe in heavily, our chests will touch and our hearts will collide, and my breath will combine with yours, and our lips will start to close in on each other as our fingers intertwine to pull us closer and closer as I wrap my body around yours and you wrap your body around mine and we lay on the floor, you on top of me and we twist and turn and move in perpetual sensuality that will keep us dancing to the rhythm of our breaths and heartbeats.



- LynnAA
So, will you dance with me?

28/9/2016
403 · Oct 2017
Excerpt
Lynn Al-Abiad Oct 2017
Usually,
If you had told me this to my face, I wouldn't answer.
I'd look at you and maybe smile
Or I'd look around you and maybe smile as well.



- LynnAA
So I'll just leave it so, in binary means.

11/10/2017
401 · Dec 2016
Stillness
Lynn Al-Abiad Dec 2016
A silent wave in a rough sea -
Every shore you have landed on has been sending you back to the water, yet you still choose to come back thinking you can invade it.
The tide has left you be.
The sand is tired of you.
The seagulls have desolated you.
Leave the shore for those who belong to it and ebb away to a land that is your own.
You belong to the water. You know nothing but the water. Stay in the water.



- LynnAA
14/12/2016
397 · Mar 2017
Loss Tastes Like Your Mouth
Lynn Al-Abiad Mar 2017
Loss Tastes Like Your Mouth



- LynnAA
Loss Tastes Like Your Mouth

24/3/2017
395 · Aug 2016
Flutter
Lynn Al-Abiad Aug 2016
You're an ***
And a ****
And a lover
And a home
And too many things my heart didn't know of



- LynnAA
And there's a lot I still don't know.

26/8/2016
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2017
What is this trap?
What is this none sense of not expressing our feelings?
Why is it better not to to reach for our past emotions and talk about them?
What is this trap?
To feel so anciently and never express?
To refrain from feeling because we should heal?
Why do our feelings become traps?



- LynnAA
Things you probably shouldn't know as well.

13/05/2017
387 · May 2015
My girl, let's fight
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2015
He was next to me
Driving me home
Talking about all the older women he wouldn't be with

And I was next to him
Looking down the road
Feeling pain making surface at the corner of my eye




-LynnAA
Another mistake...
2/5/2015
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
و لم يبقى لنا سِوى حُبٍّ لاحقنا طويلاً
عندما كنتُ لا أزالُ سِوى شُعاعٍ و ارتطمتَ بي



And we have nothing left but a love that kept running after us
When I was still only a beam of light and you slammed into me



لين اا -
- LynnAA
11/06/2017
Lynn Al-Abiad Nov 2016
دخلَك؟
هل وردة اللّي كنّا حاملينا سوا بنصّ البحر، وَينا؟ شو صار فيها؟
فِلْتِت من إيدَيْنا و عم بجرّب إتذكّر كيف
قَوْلَك ماتت؟ غِرقت؟ أو بَركي فاشت ع سطح المَي و وصلت لحالها ع الشَّط...؟
عم بقول لحالي إنّو بركي ما سَقَيناها مزبوط، أو بركي خلّيْناها  بالشّمس لوقت طويل
زعِلت عليها، كانت جامعِتنا أنا و إنت، و هيّي الوحيدة اللّي خلّصتنا من العواصف، بتتذكّر؟
...كانت لتخلّصنا، تجبرنا نحملها سوا و نضطر نحط إيدينا ببعض
يمكن ميِّة الملح ما لايمتها و تعبت من كِترِت العواصف
و يمكن أصلاً كان البحرعم ب هوج ت يقِلنا إنّو مَيْتو ما بت لايمنا
وهل الوردة فهمت قبلنا و تركتنا نفهم لحالنا
بس يمكن أنا و إنت ما في غير مَيْة البحر بتلايِمنا



You know?
That flower we were holding together in the middle of the sea, where is she? What happened to her?
She got away from our grip and I'm trying to remember how
You think she died? Or drowned? Probably she floated on the surface and landed alone on the shore...?
I'm telling myself that maybe we didn't water her as we should have or maybe we exposed her too much to the sun
It saddens me, she held us together, you and I, she was the only one to save us from the storms, remember?
She used to make us hold her together and intertwine our hands, that's how she saved us...
Perhaps the salted water didn't do her well and perhaps also she got tired of the abundance of the storms
And probably the sea kept on raging with high tides, trying to tell us that we don't belong to its water
And that flower understood before us and left us to realize this on our own
But maybe, nothing fits you and I better than the water of the sea



لين اا -
- LynnAA
بين الموجات (۳) - إذا راحت الوردة، مشّي نزرَع بستان ورود
Folded Waves (3) - If this flower goes away, let's plant a garden full of flowers

27-28/11/2016
Lynn Al-Abiad Jun 2017
تَمُرُّ أيّامٌ عديدة حَيث يَبيتُ الإشتياقُ في قلبي
حيث أصرُخُ في صمتِ أفكاري كم أهواك و أصرُخُ من قعرِ حنجرتي كي تسمعني، فهل تسمعني؟
ِلم أودعَك، فبقينا عالقين بين جروحاتِ الممنوع
و لو أمكنني أن أمس بشفتيك، و لحيتك، و طرف أذنيك
لو أمكنني أن أودعك بكل ما شعرته لك و معك
لكانت نجوم درب التبانة صارعت لوجودنا، صارعت لبقائنا
و لكن بَيني و بينك حائط



Many days pass by where missing you beds in me
Where I scream in my silenced thoughts how much I love you, and I yell as hard as I can so you can hear me; so, do you hear me?
I did not get the chance to say goodbye, and so we stayed stuck in-between the scars of what shouldn't have been
And if I could touch you lips, your beard, the edge of your ears,
If I could say goodbye with all what I felt for you and with you
All the stars of the milky way would have fought for us to stay together
But between you and me, there's a wall.



لين اا -
- LynnAA
11/06/2017
369 · Nov 2014
.
Lynn Al-Abiad Nov 2014
.
She sleeps in a bed full of pillows
Because pillows warm up her heart
While no soul can




-LynnAA
367 · May 2017
May
Lynn Al-Abiad May 2017
May
Ever since I set myself free from you, mentioning your name was a burden to me
So I decided to push you way way down into oblivion
But here you are, defying black holes, making surface
Because I need to talk to you, I need to talk about you
Because you were indescribable, and you still are
And I need to know who you are and why you were and why you stayed and why me and what did it feel like
I have too many questions for you
I have too many unspoken thoughts
And I have no one but myself to narrate them to
After 6 months of muted thoughts
Here I am, willing to finally accept healing
Whether you decide to listen or not



- LynnAA
Things we both need to know.

15/05/2017
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