the beginning
You dropped a seed.
I picked it up and gave it a home in myself.

the middle
It grew in my heart.
I cared so much for it,
Watered it,
As hard as it was, I even changed the soil surrounding it.
Blossomed into such a beautiful floret.

the end**
You left.
The sacred efflorescence shed its petals.
My soil wasn't enough for you.

I love to lend you my things
When you see them I know you think of me
Maybe you’ll even smile
That thought helps me get through the day
Until I finally see the way your mouth makes that crescent moon
Because I know you’re happy to see me too
But I’m sure you don’t get butterflies like me
Look beyond my cheshire grin
I think you’re really wonderful

I wish all of my bad memories were like the leaves on the trees
after holding onto my weary branches
they fall and wither around me
until someone comes and takes them away

something seems different
part of you has changed
i don't know what it is
but you don't react the same towards me
did i do something?
am i overreacting?

i want to be that interesting girl
i want to be proficient with words
is it so selfish to want to be admired?

drowned in moonlight.
the smell of cigarettes and cinnamon.
unapologetic,
yet warm and kind hearted.

the brightest star in the sky,
oh how she shines.

you tasted like lemons,
although that's my favorite flavor,
the sourness should've been a warning

my eyes shot open, bloodshot and wet
vaguely aware of my surroundings, I clutch the closest thing to me
I never once closed my eyes in fear I'd see everything again

I don't want to live in a world without you
especially if I'm the cause of you leaving

don't drag me along on a ride you're not even on
you've gotten off this theme park attraction and i didn't even notice
i was too busy smiling from ear to ear
just tell me you don't love me anymore

You have taken residence in my mind.
Rearranging the furniture,
You make yourself at home.
Put your feet up.
Get comfy.
You'll be here for a long time.

little do you know
you're the one that makes this smile show

an endless attraction
partner after partner
who will be the one to stay and enjoy it with me?

the hardest
part of
saying
goodbye is
the fact
that
sometimes
there's no
closure

the thoughts in my brain are like tiny trains
they keep going and going
no destination in mind
no destination needed

it's no doubt that we are truly one
when we love each other with our bodies

but even when we love by ourselves
we never split

you are the sun
I am nothing but a dwarf planet
I orbit around you and rely on you for warmth
you give me life

How could you be so blind?
I love you with all my heart.
Sometimes I feel like we should restart.
You're constantly on my mind.
You're falling behind.
You're like abstract art.
I shouldn't take your words apart.
I want us to be entertained.
Are you honestly straight?
I guess I have to wait.

I know the color of your flesh but not the color of your desires

we're not lovers
we're not friends
we've been mistaken for both
what side are you on?

Relax,
Everything’s falling apart.

there's a devil on my shoulder
and an angel in my heart
they're both telling me to act on my feelings for you
but i'm too scared of rejection

over thinking about over thinking about over thinking about over thinking

Broken breathing and deep regret,
All the thoughts running through your head.
As the night falls, the gentleman calls,
Prepares you for the new path ahead.

"It's nicer and quieter,
Not at all filled with dread."
He looks at your walls and leads you down halls,
Confident you'll finally leave your bed.

"It looks enticing," you say to yourself.
It makes you believe that you were a fool.
"It's not too late. It has to be fate."
Nervous and waiting, he hands you your tool.

"I'll say my farewells as I leave on this journey.
Goodbye all who were waiting for this day,
To those that I love, I'll be up above,
Don't worry, I've found my way."

someone asked me if i was homeless yesterday
well, i have a place with four walls and a bed
but is that really a home?

we were stopped by security at the art museum
they accused me of stealing one of the masterpieces
one look at you and I knew I was guilty

rays of sunshine only last a second

is America really the land of the free?

are you healthy?
are you young?
are you rich?
are you heterosexual?
are you white?
are you male?

by answering "yes" to all of the above
you can call America the land of the free

the vast majority aren't free but we will still fight
we are the brave and this is our home

How I long to see you
Open your mouth and tell me the truth
Please tell me you're being honest
Everything that you are is what I adore

You are everywhere.
My dreams consist of your beautiful skin.
My thoughts spiral with your words within.
My hellos are always meant for you.
My goodbyes are something I hate to do.
My skin is tainted with your DNA.
My fingertips search for you everyday.
You are everywhere.

Express yourself!
Don't be afraid to show your true self!*

No matter how much I want to,
No matter how much I need to,
I can't.
I don't want to get beaten.
I don't want to get ridiculed.
I don't want to get kicked out of my own home.
I'm not comfortable in my own skin.

poetry
isn't just words on paper
words are flowing
like paint from a brush
these words make you feel something

it's a certainty that I won't live forever
but I want my words to be passed down for generations

I still feel your presence after all these years.
It's your old self, the one I fell in love with.
You've changed, for better or for worse?
Just stop haunting me.

Be my Villanelle,
The assassin to my heart.
Stab me,
Once,
Twice,
Five ******* times.
Deeper,
Harder,
Show me your love.

I'm still on this ride
You've gotten off a long time ago
Someone took your place
and they're actually enjoying this attraction with me

I found her in the mirror five years ago
her damaged body unwanted
she was sad and tired

I found her in the mirror five minutes ago
her beautiful body extremely desired
but she was still sad and tired

he seemed like he wanted to stay on this ride
he made it an experiment
he didn't like rollercoasters

You are the air I breathe,
The water I drink,
The dust that lingers,
The flowers that bloom,
But most of all,
You are the one for me.

Just as the sun is committed to coming up each morning,

Just as each day is promised,

Just as the moon and the stars will always shine,

I will love you,

And that is guaranteed.

how long will it take to be okay?
how much effort do i have to put in?
i'm at my limit

My judgement is clouded.
I can't tell right from wrong,
And you're to blame.

My habits have changed.
My friends call me insane,
And you're to blame.

My stomach constantly tickles.
My feet are walking toward you,
And you're to blame.

I'm ghosting my fingers on your spine.
Our lips are touching,
And you're to blame.

You’ve never left my mind ever since the day,

You came into my life and took my breath away.

Always in my dreams I see your pretty face.

That is just something I could never erase.

So give me a chance and maybe you could see,

Exactly how much you mean to me.

cars pass by
they softly shake this old house
they softly shake my old thoughts

wheels against the street
they mimic the door **** turning
they mimic my fast moving mind

headlights brightly shining
they light up my pitch black room
they light up the silhouettes haunting me

horns blaring
they scare the dog into barking
they scare the self destructive whispers into screams

why do i miss you?
its been less than two hours
you're only at work
but god do i miss you so much

Still, I don’t feel in control sometimes.
My brain is just on auto pilot while the real me resides somewhere

deep

d e e p

d  e  e  p

inside.

before you look for love
look in the mirror