What lurks inside this book of secrets?
A juicy tale waiting to be exposed?
A lie that finds justice?
A simple story with a complex ending?
A poem with a theme to which no one comprehends?

No one, except the narrator behind the first person speaker,
The Creator,
The mastermind behind all that follows,
Me...him...or her...who knows?
A book which holds the mysteries of my deepest ink,
A notepad with my scribbles and scrabbles written with a blank pen,
Key words and phrases that could be polar opposite of what is actuality,
Processed under a microscope of human mind and matter,

Welcome to my world,
My realm,
Where I make the rules and you play actor to attempt the follow,
A curiousity that will always force a pondering upon your solidified wonders,
A future of revealing knowledge,
A pocket watch spinning in opposite directions,

My words cannot be learned or taught,
They play with the mind and bombard every intricate thought bubble,
Digging deeper to find meaning in the mine of a premeditated stanza,

Is it a happy ending?
Is it a truent fib?
Is it a creative mixture of stories and lines?
Or would you call it a poem?
That is the bone destined to be buried indefinitely, waiting for the dog,

I chizel in this binded slate to uncover the underground,
I believe these silent dialogues are for you, to drive you crazy to unravel,
The anticipation of tearing off the wrapper to discover the gift,
It is brain boggling,
Thoughts twisting like twine around the neck,
This containment is insanity,

So you think you know my words, do you?
You can't see the dimensions existing in this plane,
This ink, this graphite, this wonder,
These perplexing strands of ideas mean nothing to you, but they feed,
I think for thought and write to feel right,
I make to believe and believe to make,

This notebook is red,
A color blended with blood and pain,
The color that stains forever,
A color with such anger to its personality,
I'm ill-tempered by the ignorant; the ignorance,
A few lines remaining and still so much left to fight for,
A never ending dotted line that trails a crescendo for all of eternity,

This poem lives for the stranger whom uncovers the mystery; a Hardy Boy,
The one whom I undoubtedly love,
The one whom comprehends my inner struggle and becomes ally to my thoughts,
She would be my dictionary,
I would be her words,
She is my pages,
I am her binding,

The reason these ideas grow from this stem through the flow of my arm,
Along my fingers,
Into my utensil,
And onto the absent surface,
The dull end of this pencil knows all,
Together, we write this novel of uncertainty,
Bleed my thoughts,
But you still will not reveal the master plan behind my words,
For this color stains and ruptures the soul,

I am crazy,
Insane in the brain,
******,
But my desires?
Poetic,
Ingenious,
Romantic,
Realistically bleeding,
As the stranger, you narrow your focus on this lightbulb like a fly on the wall,
Explore the mind,
Find what is so secretly kept safe,
But remember,
My thoughts...
They stain.

I float in the center of confusion and paranoia,
These days, all I can do is ponder in traps of thought,
These thoughts race and beat me to the finishing ribbon,
I inhale with a treacherous risk of it being my last,
I must part from you,
You hold dear to my heart, but my heart can't succumb to your cancer,
It's killing me inside to know you're always around,
Just give me a few days with my feet on the ground,
Soon, we will fly high together again,
But today, I must knot this leash to the leveled Earth,
It's just not the same anymore,
I can't be alone with your envious smile,
You take me to places I do not wish to follow,
My hopes and dreams are fading away with your evaporating smoke,
You tell me to sore through the clouds, but I stay grounded to this planet by my morals,
What used to feel right, now feels so wrong,
Down seems to be up and life is surely turning over,
You're pulling me into the surface like a gel conforming to its surrounding plane,
It is my fault for loosening the grip,
You're gone now,
I have given up on you,
I've left town, but I'll return when it is convinient,
Just keep flying high like you do and I will meet you at the podium,
This is a race,
But, last place finishes first,
Be safe,
Be smart,
Don't fly too high...

There is a boy,
A presence stumbled upon in the shadows,
He hides his face to conceal his identity,
I see his flaws, but no one points at them and laughs,
He is surrounded by rusty chairs and a cloud of darkness,

He does not speak.
He does not think.
He simply stares at the world.

An empty dreamer with all intentions of barking,
He wants me,
I see him,
But my soul is engraved for another,
This boy,

I want to know what he desires.
I want to know if he stares at me for a "hello".
I want his attention.

The next day, he is gone,
A glimpse of his presence is captured, but not saved,
A figure of darkness and a corner of loneliness,
Shaded patterns of sadness echo in my senses,
Silently pushing me towards the abyss,

A face of fade.
A smile so still.
A beautiful soul trapped beneath a blank, stern, and silent scope.

I still want to know what he thinks,
My future is set in place, but is watched by the dark,
This boy needs light,
He needs a guardian,
To graduate with a wing of gold,

This foggy corner represents a relationship.
This boy signifies change.
This darkness is my unhappiness.

A narrative poem broken down into three sentences,
But do not be blind to the objective,
The words beneath the cracks,
I write about a boy,
A second image pierces my periferells,

On the left, is love.
On the right, is curiousity.
On the real, curiousity kills the cat.

I killed the boy,
I shot his nerves, point blank, with the roll of my eyes,
I just need attention,
I need constant attraction,
I adore his love,
I cherish my love for him,
Engraved in darkness,
Altered by a corner,
Continuous attention feeds my emptiness,
Until,
I,
Fade away,
Into my dark corner.

You ponder alone in darkness,
Disgracing your personal image is an uncontrollable pleasure,
Don't hurt,
Don't feel,
Cleanse your inner complection clear of unhappiness,
I'm here for you,
Lift your chin.

Let me kiss those seeping tears,
You cry when you feel happy,
A feeling new to your emotions,
Let it bleed through and stain,
Lift your chin.

Let me love you, forever,
I'll protect you from these unidentified flying emotions,
I can be your self-control,
Only letting love, happiness, and joy into our house,
Lift your chin.

I love you,
Nothing else matters,
I can be your only friend if it makes you warm on winter days,
Don't be lonely,
You have my heart, forever,
I can sing your song on rainy days,
I can tickle the tear duct for you,
Shaking loose the last few droplets for this puddle of sadness,
Lift your chin.

I'm here love,
Don't stress,
Don't tremble,
Do you hear that?
My heart pounds for your love,
A drum with a never ending metronome,
Each beat running on infinite happiness,
Lift your chin.

I'm grasping your nervous palms,
They are moist with worry,
But you're comfortable in my eyes,
You're lovely,
No one stretches this smile wider than you do,
Do you see my tears?
They contain no sorrow,
They leak for you,
Tears that speak of your beauty with every drop,
A warm sensation that disguises your goosebumps,
Somewhere you're reading my words, aren't you?
They make your head spin like a basketball on one finger,
Left your chin.

Let me in, forever,
Keep your head high, forever,
When you cry, I will be there with a kiss,
Mopping your sorrows away,
Until my dying day,
Lift that chin.

Everyday my life shortens,
My happiness shimmers with the thought of "my day" approaching,
The chill running down my spine, reverts,
My hands tremble, as the fragrance of her hair breezes passed every sense of my body,
I stumble with weak knees, as her voice echoes through these drums,
My periferrels focus on her figure and send butterflies to my empty gut,
These eyes see differently; each day passes again and again,
It's no longer Love that gasses this heart,
But the motivation of one day filling the hole that lingers in the shallows of my soul,
I have transformed for that day, specifically,
In a way, I have failed,
I am vulnerable and my feelings are surfaced and exposed,
My inner sores are doomed by a heart that defends this castle, no more,
But, I will move passed this spinning clock; it is my time,
Living in doubt is drowning yourself in denial,
Living in fear of denial is breathing in counterless distress,
No more knots,
No more heavy pockets,
Live weightless,
Live free!

You know that she is gone,
You know it won't work out,
But still, your heart gives you a reason to keep trying,
A signal inside your head that tells you she is the one,
Her smile,
Her laugh,
The way she looks at you,
You're hooked,
But it's all part of her game, with only one handicap,
You can't win,
There is a glitch,
A reason to give up and accept defeat,
But, you have this feeling that you'll pull through,
Your heart is extremely sensitive, it's fuzzy,
Although her heart has its mind on something different,
She wants a present,
A today,
A living in every moment attitude,
You desire a future,
You blow it,
You back off,
But you don't completely remove your being from this game,
You simply play it safe with all intentions of succeeding,
You smile,
She laughs,
The atmosphere is morphing from misty to foggy,
Suddenly, you cannot see her,
She walks away,
You stand there with a dying rose, slowly descending from behind your back, to the cold Earth,
That's it,
You failed the system,
Your fuzziness turns to streaks of lightning,
But,
You win,
No tears,
No regrets,
Just a motive to move on,
You now live as she does,
I'm here,
Today,
Right now,
I'm not there in ten minutes,
I live for this moment,
The future was just an obsession,
But that obsession chases snakes, as you fall into your comfort zone,
I say goodbye to my obsessions,
Hello obsessers,
What are you doing, today?

Inside, I’m a house-cat with claws like Hugh Jackman- he’s been waiting on hold for an hour and a half.

I’m a Ghost-type Pokemon wearing a powder blue LT jersey from a time when JT was all glamour shots.

Today I’ll smoke a bowl next to my open window and then spend the entire night hoping my parents stay brainwashed by the Smart TV.

How come all the advertisements on the side of each website I view are related to me in some way or form?

Sometimes I have dreams about shadow monsters hanging out with my Cookie Monster doll.

When I sob my father’s name, it responds by tickling my toes at the end of the bed and twisting my ******* when I fall back to sleep.

My ears are like Batman’s pet bat, except in this world my eyes accumulate wax.

I’m a house-cat hopped up on cat-nip and I can’t sleep so let me be.

How many Someone’s lay planked on their waist and stare aimlessly at the candle’s flame?

Who of You is daring enough to close Your eyes and in space alone, simply drive- drive away?

The same Someone’s and Who’s-of-Who’s, on occasion holler at the moon with expectation of a bark back; or is God but a prestige to fools that We allow to wear Normal on Their crummy ******* name tags?

Sometime around Christmas there is a salivating peace, sifting downward on ordinary people, whom really don’t feel like being cold, you know?

This is me, rotting away on the carpet, a blanket’s blanky for the floor, just staring through the shutters on the vent below my brow; in the reality of it, I should probably schedule a spring cleaning…not for the vent folks.

You see- and I’m trying to be as casual as I can- I’m about to ******* pass out, you know what I’m saying?

This is that incredible moment where I’m the Bob Feller of dozing off, 9 innings of shut-eye talent, but at 2 or 3 in the morning…it looks as though I’m bringing in Mariano Rivera to close it out,

I can almost smell the scraps of mowed grass, kicking up from his cleats as he jogs closer to where home is; I never really find out if he makes it to the mound…

Tonight,
I slept on the floor,
Make me a slave, I feel criminal,
Every stitch in my hoodie plays the pillow,
Tell me a story, lecture my unknowing- I shall bow-
Outside, the children laugh; I watch them to feed my innocence,
Gardening my eyes, the rose pierces the finger and leaks into the old soil,
Red rain to flourish the undead...souls like zombies as the veins pump within,
Oh, so now there are more man-made commandments? Humor me with your ideals,
Weigh the opinionated options, use  equality to be better than me, the uniform is uniform,
Use every hole in the wall to spy on those whom seem little, like ants, they march on, single file,
Push me down these stairs, allow me bounce off of every comma to reach a point of ending, I begin.

Choose your satirical weapon of choice,
Draw a three-dimensional box and conceal the hidden within a two-dimensional sphere,
Needle-point holes squeeze tightly, a misty spray like that of a busted soda-pop can,
The knowledge leaks consistently into the universe, morphing tear droplets into The Great Lakes,
These ten toes hover and glance over the edge, zoning prints like words in a descending motion,
A touch of the shoulder from a folded palm gently comforting and confirming life above this Earth,
A speedy squeeze of all five joints, now on my knees, the gravel latches onto my scabs, pushing and pounding through the pain,
Molars grind, tongue-dried, salty saliva salvaged, yet sitting silently on a secretive cold-sore,
The knowledge is flooding the dam gates, burying ankles in piercing hot grains of sand, diving into a castle's moat, a rush like traffic on a Friday evening,
The world seeps into the depths of my transparent drain,
The seepage creeps slowly downwards into a mental shaft constructed purposely for psychological phenomenon,
I worry there may be excessive overspill of rescued reality,
An unopened present, the anticipation and expectation as a child dreams,
As the gaps and cracks expand, I am able to touch base with memories as they pour outwards like a dog's busted territorial marker, a firefighter's ammunition,
Extinguish the forrest fire,
Paint the canvas gently with a spin of the color wheel,
Play the part of a lonely plumber,
Plug every hole.

Welcome to the darkness,
Here, in the pitch black, you must think sanity is reality,
Run faster boys!
This is what life is all about, ain’t it fellas?
Beer, cigarettes, and the gateway keeps my body numb and limited,
I tear my pants and soak my shoes,
Welcome to the beginning,
Finely tuned alcohol mixed with a law-bending chaser,
You start the night sober and end up in the brush of a security-focused forest,
The spark ignites the torch and they’re off,
I sit with no worries and breakable boundaries,
Welcome to the climactic chase scene,
A flash- a knock- a turning door ****-
Run,
We’re back into that **** darkness again,
Weaving through vines and avoiding surprise…I stop.
Feels like a few steps and a highway short of glory,
An adventure away from true freedom,
I sit,
I watch,
I plan,
This is the Spot.

Stress cushioned grips, Check.
Speed Racer threads of mental strains, Check.
Lazy legs with baggy exhaustion, Check.
Unshaved follicles and overlapped cuticles, Check.
Unclipped toes with rotten flakes of age, Check.
Un-fished priorities topped off with an absent cherry, Check.
Uneasy knees and crack able joints, Check.
Absent-minded realizations of accomplishment, Check.
Did I miss something crucial? Check.
Motivation…Check.
Productivity in moderation…Check.
A list of values to jump over silently…

These questions come from the heart but leave though the mouth at the direction of no one,
They surround me with the confusion of a thousand watches ticking,
I ask you, Why?
Not answering me is the one thing that turns my days into weeks,
Those weeks into tears,
Those tears into puddles of raindrops gathered at the surface of my feet,
Those puddles seem to be a mirror looking up at a face that has been crushed by a thousand problems,
The mirror drowns me in a sea of hopelessness,
I read your notes from scratch and turn them into works of art with my bare joints,
I have seen your heart which pounds me like 10 rounds with the champ himself,
Keeping you close was iron,
Letting you go was child's play,
Calling was a tad short of desperation,
Begging was abhorrent,
I chased your heart around in circles only to end up in the same place I started,
I attempted to ask you one question which you would not grant me,
I concealed my question in a package and sent it to your heart but you strayed elsewhere,
I can't understand,
I don't comprehend,
Why?

Curling this finger just under my boyish snout,
Dipping my pupils into yours without words to expose,
I think of this moment and other aspects of you that I do so impose,
You repeatedly stir my flies while I pull you into me with these eyes,
These brunette iris' mix coherently with a beautiful crest witnessed beneath,
I picture summer and capture what I hope to be forever,
Caressing your Midas enhanced locks, I swallow thoughts that curl my dimples skyward,
You tinker with my strings as I maneuver myself closer to your heart and further from the day we locked textures,
-------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­-------------------
It's finally time to open up these dreams contained within,
I want you here, I want you now, I want you forever in my spin.
-----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­---------------

Emptiness,
Hopelessness,
Reasons to disappear into nothing,
No one would miss me,
No one would Care that I left,
Not even she,
The crush I long for each and everyday,
I talked to her,
I had A lot on my mind,
Maybe too much for her to transact,
I don't know where I went wrong,
She left without even saying good-bye,
That's all she needed to Say and I would have been fine,
The two disheartening words that I longed to hear from her voice,
Good-bye,
But how can you even speak to a girl that doesn't even know you exist,
Frequency is not the key to a relationship,
Neither is ever saying more than two words to that Person in reality,
An animated world with a spruce of reality on the side,
Why say good-bye in person?
She won't hear me,
She won't tap the corner of her Eye,
Not even a breath,
I look up,
She looks down,
A face ashamed by my presence,
My heart hurts for a girl who doesn't even believe I am visible,
A small frame of a sad face,
That's all I appear to her and her mentality,
A picture of a friend that could never be noticed,
Seven long hours I wait to hear her words that can only be seen,
Seven long hours in the making of another step towards a disaster waiting to happen,
I speak,
She listens,
I persuade,
She ignores,
I love,
She just stares ahead,
Why?
I was there yesterday when she said hello,
Where am I today?
A secret is revealed,
She knows the secret I have kept from her for so long,
I guess that is why a simple "hello" is proportionately out of the question,
It's all Right,
Keep staring ahead,
You look your way,
And I'll look my way.

A heart hurts for the last song,
Lungs breathing- slowly-
Without dilation at the end of a summer's final dance,
Left and right we step together and grow vines between our toes,

Eyes connect,
Pupils sink into roots and dissolve time,
We become one,
We become two- As one- We are still-
In the moment-

Through these iodine eyes,
I bleed tears of pastel rose,
Scarlet rivers sitting silently outside the iris of a swirling hurricane,
The wind roars!
The sea is calm,
The bridge suspended above the creek sways gracefully in the gentle breeze,

Leaves bend and sprout incandescent green envy,
The sky steps on chalk filled clouds like feathered pillows,
A tip of the toe,
A rip in mother nature's fabric,
Stitches that mend tears into crest like smiles,

The Earth pulls us into each other like magnets- trapped in a box-
To be attached forever with no loose ends,
I sit and imagine what we could be...