Inside, I’m a house-cat with claws like Hugh Jackman- he’s been waiting on hold for an hour and a half.

I’m a Ghost-type Pokemon wearing a powder blue LT jersey from a time when JT was all glamour shots.

Today I’ll smoke a bowl next to my open window and then spend the entire night hoping my parents stay brainwashed by the Smart TV.

How come all the advertisements on the side of each website I view are related to me in some way or form?

Sometimes I have dreams about shadow monsters hanging out with my Cookie Monster doll.

When I sob my father’s name, it responds by tickling my toes at the end of the bed and twisting my ******* when I fall back to sleep.

My ears are like Batman’s pet bat, except in this world my eyes accumulate wax.

I’m a house-cat hopped up on cat-nip and I can’t sleep so let me be.