We had something that never happened
Lost, uncertain, no control
Kids on a playground, ring-o-round,
Livid souls, trying to run but are trapped in
Suited like a shadow with multiple resting faces
Soul sunken into my shoes in my rainbow shoelaces
Apple in my throat, choking on my emotions
Anxious, paranoid, the same typical symptoms
I feel a little crazy, but at least it's kind of fun
It's a scary day when the depression comes
Captivate my flickering,
This hearts a costume, playing daydream
I'm tired of running the same old mazes
Time to tie up my rainbow shoelaces
I can’t remember my name half the time
I think it’s because kids keep yelling new ones at me as we’re stranded between these hallways
Like two of them are my parents and they can’t decide whether to put “lesbian” or “******” down as my middle name because they already chose nerd to be my first
I can’t tell you how I learned I’m the worst and how the only trophies I ever got were for participation
But they never told me what I participated in
Like with a grin they said “you didn’t succeed in life, but you tried.”
I can’t tell you how long I cried over this, like, people making fun of me because I wanna give girls a kiss
I can’t tell you what I could see
The first time I listened to spoken word poetry it was by a man whose last name is Koyczan and I sobbed
But for a different reason
Cause these kids never had me beaten and bruised they just told me I was a loser and you could tell they wanted to do worse
Your words hurt
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can stab you through the back, hit your heart, and rip the tendons of your rib cage until your bones aren’t broken but they will never fit back into the right place
I can’t tell you how long it took to find my place
And how right now it’s with a boy who has green hair and a girl who loves the color purple
We call ourselves the peasants
But how do you think we got that name
It’s because we were ashamed and words made us that way
Nobody ever wanted us to stay around and play around until we were 13
It took me 8 years to find it and I still find myself apologizing for it
I know I’m boring and I know my words are but at least they aren’t ripping your heart in half from the inside because my place and my rainbow shoelaces are the only thing holding mine together
I still don’t know where this came from. I imagine myself reciting it.
When I was younger,
I ran barefoot,
Innocent and happy.
As I got older,
I began wearing shoes,
Because that was 'cool'
They hurt my feet,
And killed my innocence.
They drew me to the edge of a cliff
And as I walked along it's edge,
I tripped over
A stupid shoelace,
And now I am falling,
Dreading hitting the ground,
All so I could be 'cool'
My shoelaces flap side to side like one of those car-dealership inflatables arms-
My veiny stompers pump puddles of pure procrastination from perceptive sprinting-
Underneath the tune-buds, I cannot hear my sneakers scraping the scrap rocks of gravel-
To my left- a hooting owl habitats itself in a hushed game of charades-
To my right- a slick tree frog flies freely from a lofty leaf and lands in the lagoon-
Elapsed images of elastic languages fill my mind with everlasting wisdom-
Entertained by the watercolors, my canvas curdles and secedes the state of mind-
Pressing harder- the curtain continues to close as I chase the condescending daylight-
Pressing softer- the tuner in my temple turns into a terrorizing shriek from my tibia-
You and I are like the ends
Twisting and dancing
on the surfaces we know.
Sometimes our paths will cross
and one might seem higher
than the other.
Things always come around
as life leaves us the holes
to fit through.
This far into our journey
we seem so far apart.
Our dance through life will see
us collide together and
let the knot be tied at last.
I may end up on your side
and you upon mine,
but that is how two crossed threads
seem to wind up when they return
again as one.
— The End —