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Anna Skinner Oct 2019
What if we as women quit the
“what if’s” and “but when’s” and “except he’s”
and left him the first time we felt a rock drop in our bellies?

I whipped the trash bag into its receptacle today,
worthlessness disguised as anger, and
reapplied my make up three times because
being late is the same as saying you don’t want me

Or I’m not good enough to race against the type of woman
you’re used to.

I think of the ways I used to shame myself when this happened before, when a boy I loved didn’t mind enough
to love me back the same way,
or at all,
but this time, I don’t reach for a blade
I sip a drink -- a daughter takes after her father.

I use essential oils with scents of
emotions I pray to feel --
scents like “uplifting” and “serene” and “relax”

Is there an essential oil the flavor of “*******”?
Because that seems to be the only way I feel lately –
roiling and ready for a fight,
jaw clenched tight
against the taste of your name.
Jun 2019 · 482
Indigo and Jade
Anna Skinner Jun 2019
bodies familiar in the hues
of a dying day
in the shadows, in the shade
blacks and grays,
indigos and jades

whispers muted in the last
gasps of light
our language,
words knit into the night
our vision, monochromatic --
your breaths,
the moon,
my static
Anna Skinner Apr 2019
october 6, 2018
was a day for wearing white,
supposed to be his bride
instead, I’m alone
in a new home,
watching an Indian summer go by –
robin’s egg skies, and
emerald hills

i wish it was raining instead

october sixth was supposed to be
navy and cream,
stargazer lilies, and a
backyard wedding in
southern indiana woods
where leaves the color of blood,
wept with all our loved ones
paving the way of our future

a prologue: dates to the theater,
foamy beer,
sticky dance floors,
loud words and hate,
a home together, destined to fall
and the secrets stuck
like dust

sometimes, the devil hides behind the shadows of love

now, i wake up alone,
in my new home
to the songs of doves,
the morning is for mourning,
i like to think they’re singing for me

i cradle the mug in my hands,
listen to the birds
and the words,
a song i wrote and sing to myself,

the chorus, it goes like this:
“you’re safe now”
Apr 2019 · 177
coffee and cream
Anna Skinner Apr 2019
i know every corner in this place --
from house-made mocha
the pastel pastries and
speckled mugs

to the weight of the space you take
behind the counter

your fingers brush mine
steam on styrofoam
and a smile so soft --
all espresso eyes and smooth jazz
the grind of the beans and your laugh:
my soundtrack

it's the coffee bringing me to this place,
it's the caffeine that makes me shake,
it can't be your brown eyes
keeping me awake
Mar 2019 · 330
Stay before you've gone
Anna Skinner Mar 2019
Like a dove's mournful cry
echoing across fresh dew,

Like a shadowy silhouette
against a steady sunset,

Like the way I marry my
coffee and cream,

Like the way a book's pages
flutter between my fingers

You are --

A burst of spring,
A given hand,
A warm embrace,
History in the making,

Yet perhaps,
Like a jolt of blue lightning
striking across my midnight sky,

You are ephemeral
in your ties to me
Mar 2019 · 282
Lone wolf
Anna Skinner Mar 2019
Learn to lead from the rear,
a constant silhouette
against a steady sunset.
But back here,
there’s so much to fear,
and too much to feel.
So I sit, scared of the silence.
this is what depression feels like
Mar 2019 · 322
this is how the world turns
Anna Skinner Mar 2019
Your eyes are lit low,
at dusk, like liquid gold.
There’s heavy silence,
your words come slow.

But, can you just hold on?
let’s wait until the dawn,
let sunlight touch your promise.
What if this goes all wrong?

Your fingertips play my spine,
you swear things will be fine.
I turn into you,
already, you feel like mine.

Your arms protect me,
your eyes, they set me free,
your lips promise forever,
Don’t you ever leave.
Mar 2019 · 648
The girl with one eye
Anna Skinner Mar 2019
She has a boyfriend who closes his when they play pool,
It’s only fair that way.
She smiles at him over her cue,
all teeth, open mouth and bubblegum lips,
and the ball jumps off the table.
She screeches a laugh,
This girl, she loves loud --
Shaping words to songs,
Dancing with a pool cue,
Framing my face with her delicate touch,
Piano fingers playing etch-a-sketch,
connecting my freckles and bridging gaps,
changing the world.
The sun pours out in her words,
She loves with her smile
And speaks with her hands.
She laughs at a challenge,
always eager to take a chance
I don't feel like this one is done quite yet, but I am posting it anyway!
Mar 2019 · 415
Tiny fractures
Anna Skinner Mar 2019
We sat with a pair of burgers between us,
the Purdue game muted on the big screen.
We talked about high school and
Friday night football and
health insurance and
what it feels like to get hit by a car --
our first date, just five years removed.

You have abstract works painted like satin
in your skin
like scars
in your skin
like memories
like nightmares
like “I wish I would have’s…”

I tease you gently;
you beg me not to work so much
You frown at your plate
swirl your fries in ketchup and
in this, I see fragments of the old you.

I ask if you’re going to church tomorrow,
and you reflect the question
like it’s a challenge
like belief is always shaped with doubt
like even when there’s faith, voices still waiver.

There are still tiny fractures
in your bones
in your voice
in our memories.

There are still raindrops in your eyes
when we talk about high school and
Friday night football and
health insurance and
what it feels like to get hit by a car.

There are still scars in your skin
in your mind
in my heart --
Our first date, just five years removed
Feb 2019 · 680
blood in the water
Anna Skinner Feb 2019
men are sharks and weakness is blood  
circle in the shallow waters of my insecurity
eyes flashing with hunger  
bite off a piece of my heart, help yourself to seconds  
let the leftovers go stale  

there’s blood in the water
like hieroglyphics
like liquid hourglass
memories from a wolf pack that swallowed me whole
all that’s left is a jangling bunch of bones
calcium wind chimes
the ghost of my screams will be the trumpet
your beating will be the drums
Feb 2019 · 683
Ashes from Michigan
Anna Skinner Feb 2019
When we all go to Memphis, we spread Ludington sand in Matt’s flower beds,  like somebody died, and a silence falls as we let the sand sift through our fingers like ashes.  It smells like Michigan, like seashells and ***** lake water,  and it drowns out the construction workers making new-money houses.
Instead of funeral hymns, we’re blanketed by sawdust and cigarette smoke.  We sip and savor Evan Williams and for once, none of us speaks.  
Our veins light on fire from the whiskey, and our souls share a collective ache,  like our bodies are made from some sort of symbiotic cell.  

After The Spreading Of The Sand, we go to a haunted bar where entry is a password, where there’s a frown of a front door, and the exposed brick walls reek of the dead girls upstairs. I think, This is Memphis, a very loud city with louder secrets –  the overpowering shadow spreading its fingers in all her corners, silent until she swallows you whole.  

Memphis realigns your center –  
a snap of the blues, a crack of whiskey and,  all of a sudden, things run much more smoothly.  

Memphis, she’s known as the City on the Bluff,  a place where summer storms split at the river,  don’t reconvene ‘til east of Arlington.  
Her protection, it’s always there.  
Like DNA shared among siblings,  blood is always thicker here in her quarters.  

Memphis, she tells me I should’ve kicked Worry to the curb all along.  

Memphis, she keeps her people safe.
Feb 2019 · 239
how to bury your dead
Anna Skinner Feb 2019
We are Graveyard Family –
we each have something buried here
Six feet and two months under –
suffocating beneath words and
sweet dreams and
Tennessee
Time heals all wounds
Time heals all wounds
Time heals all wounds
And the rot sets in
And I keep your spare rib close by –
A glowing ember for when it gets dark
It gets dark a lot here –
hold
you
close
Let Him work His magic and
build me a body from your suffering –
cough a breath into my soul
This is how you bury your dead
Anna Skinner Nov 2017
I want to bid farewell to the friends in Madrid I never met

The men and women and youths who slept next to me in the hostel I never visited
To the comfort I found when those strangers knit me into the patchwork quilt of their souls
And there, I slid into place.

I want to thank the cook for making the paellas that never touched my tongue
The bartender for mixing the sangria that they but never I drank  

I want to bid farewell to the man who taught me to tango as if I’d been there

I want to wave to the tourists with their cameras shielded against Spain’s loud sun, because they, in a way, could have been me but I, never them.

I want to send a letter to my brother and his wife

Tell them their house in Memphis was beautiful though I’ve never seen it
I want to engrave in pen the memories I never made, describing Tennessee’s fifth season in the flavors of barbeque and blues and bourbon.

I want to write an author’s acknowledgment to embed in the book I’ll never publish
Thanking the editor I’ll never meet, the agent I never begged to take me on

Instead, I give thanks to a kind husband and a house that jails me.
I give love to the kids I didn’t want but who are very real.
I make way for the family vacations to Disney World.
I push and pull a fighting Madrid into her timeout corner,
where her sun doesn’t blind us.

If only Madrid could know the way I love them,
which is enough to sacrifice my dreams for theirs,
then maybe she wouldn’t beat against the cage of my soul
where a family of four silhouettes shield themselves from her sunny streets
and sparkling nights,
with raised hands saying,
"It’s too loud for us here."
Apr 2017 · 653
First Base at 14
Anna Skinner Apr 2017
i’m 13 and my first kiss is from a boy named nick behind ****’s sporting goods in stale street air. nick’s canadian and when i ask if he can speak french he says no but I can play hockey and that is the next best thing

a week prior when i tell lauren we’ve been dating seven months and haven’t kissed yet she can’t believe it but all i believe is i’m 13 and a first kiss was supposed to be so special
so special i am too scared to close my eyes so my first kiss is a waterfront view of spider-leg eyelashes, too much spit, and all nick.

two weeks later he calls me cherry and i call him kiwi because we think normal pet names are too mainstream.

three weeks later nick breaks up with me when i corner him by the west wing lockers in the middle school by english class. i confront him, lay out the facts, and that is that.
  
i’m 14 and my second kiss is by the bleachers at the high school football game – not behind because behind the bleachers is where kids go for second base and to form ****** lips around leaf sweet smoke.
i‘m 14 and my second kiss is still nick but it’s not all spit and i wonder who he’s been kissing
i’m 14 and my second kiss is to the melody of a collective crowd’s stamping feet and a boy named jared with no real teeth wolf-whistling at us from the corner  
i’m 14 and i remember to close my eyes  

i’m 15 and grind on levi who’s twice my height to a rihanna song at homecoming
his crotch is against my upper back when it should be against my ***
he doesn’t kiss me, drops me off, speeds away in his oldsmobile

i’m 17 and my first **** is with a man named dan who serves at the same restaurant i smile at and hand menus out for tips. i’m his twenty-third and for a while after 23 is my favorite number
i’m 17 and i’m bleeding on dan’s brother’s sheets
i’m 17 and afterwards dan sleeps with a girl named stephanie who probably ***** better than me. i got my ears pierced at claire's last year but stephanie has tattoos between her **** and a dermal.

i’m 20 and barely flinch when i see nick at the local community college. i ask if he still plays hockey and he asks me what good books i’ve read lately and i wonder if he’s any good in bed.

i’m 22 and i’ve laid with a dozen men, all nestled like eggs in my crate of shame

i’m 22 and i've learned to close my eyes until they've finished with me
Mar 2017 · 936
The State of His Uncontrol
Anna Skinner Mar 2017
she ties her ******* thick knot so he can’t **** on it.
she bites the inside of her cheek until she tastes rust, until he finishes and collapses in a post-****** nap.
she is forced to rise after her body’s beating, juggle his child, do the dishes, start boiling the water, prepare his dinner, crack open a beer, unscrew the anti-freeze and pour just enough all with one hand and all before he wakes.
he tells her to sweep the floor but the dust pads her footsteps so she doesn’t wake him and she’s happiest when he’s asleep.
he’s happiest when he has something to complain about, something to force himself into, some cavity to cram in the name of pleasure.  

women are wild horses grazing in forgotten fields, unrequited and unchained beauty admired only by the sun.
women are the lone wolves, leading from behind.
women are the taste of freedom ****** out by a man with hands around her neck and hot breath in her ear asking if she likes it, asking if she wants it harder.
women are the smell of iron and sticky fingerprints, painting red-black odes into cotton canvases, where society can’t stipple or staunch the flow of freedom.
women are mothers before birth to unruly grab-me-a-beer-babe men tossing ***** clothes to a fresh mopped floor and telling her the place is a pit.
women are anger buried beneath flesh, a bubbling riot up and out of their mouths in the form of what they call crazy and what we call just plain tired.

she hands him his beer, smiles as she adjusts the baby.
here, she says, you deserved it.
she tastes those words, the way they weigh heavily on her tongue like stones tossed into a lake to drown.
she tastes those words, the same words he said to her the first time he painted her eye a pretty bruise-blue, pulled her hair like reigns like he actually believed he could control how she built herself.
Mar 2017 · 332
captivity
Anna Skinner Mar 2017
i accidentally threw my toothbrush away last night and had to use the spare i’ve been saving for you
my eyeglasses had a water droplet on them and i couldn’t see straight it wasn’t because i was drunk
or sad
or angry
it was the water droplet blurring everything and bringing an end to fine edges and clarity answers

in the end it is kindness that undoes me
my dog brings me toys when i'm sad or sick and nudges them into my elbow like some knock-off substitution for benadryl or lexapro
i still have sand in my eyes from the desert you drug me through
it isn’t because i haven’t slept  
or am hungover
or dehydrated
i swear it's the sand like diamonds

whenever i'm in the throes of a panic attack i wear the shirt my mom bought me because it makes me feel safe
the day after you i ask her if i'm allowed to tell her when i'm hungover or when i've made a mistake
but i can't because when you moved over me and my body responded
it wasn’t my mom's shirt anymore.
it was yours
Mar 2017 · 931
love in equations
Anna Skinner Mar 2017
your version of love is an algorithm more basic than take-aways. you're allowed to take as much as you give and you still get a solid number. a real result. but i don't work in binaries and black-and-whites.

love is my negative number and the missing letter to my typewriter i can't find no matter which dusty beasts i search through. it's the bruise on the heel of my palm as i collide with secrets -- swiping hands beneath your sofa searching for my missing key.  

love is your receipt.
here's what you bought, here's what it cost.

i'll register bankruptcy instead. take my seven years and start over instead of being your negative number and unknown variable. a declined credit card stamped on your list of positive transactions.
Mar 2017 · 738
drunk musings
Anna Skinner Mar 2017
i’m wearing malbec lipstick at 330 in the afternoon, my own personal hue that stains lips and teeth, drips down my chin so a tongue flicks out to savor the drop. it leaves a maroon trace like i’ve been ******* blood.
when i swill the wine, it captivates me. like i'm swishing around my own blood, praying enough of it sloshes out to **** me.
i’m headed to catholic church in an hour, maybe i’ll light a candle for myself.
god knows i ******* need it.
i’m at that delicate lining, the in-between stage of the five stages of grief. the soft spot at the base of my skull. self-destruct button that’s so tempting, nestled between anger and depression. skip bargaining. take a trip around the sun.
i've lost my hair tie and i want it back.
i've lost my heart and i want it back. ******* give it back.
reapply mauve lipstick the flavor of malbec. go to church. rinse the good off when you get home.
i still feel him inside of me. taking everything. claiming it as his own, two hundred and fifty-eight hours later. like he’s stained me and now i'm tainted and unapproachable. undesirable.
piece of plastic wrap that used to keep his heart fresh, now i'm trash.
now i’m his.
Anna Skinner Mar 2017
when you go through something trying all the good guys and do-gooders flock to you. they wring metaphorical hands and ask if there's anything they can do, like some baked ziti or wadded handkerchief will caulk your cracks.
then an acceptable timetable for healing goes by and they lay pity eyes on you give you that how're you doing honey smile, but their baked ziti didn't serve as the salve they'd hoped and you're crumbling fast and maybe that pity smile is your solution so you tell them.
you tell them how many times you count the cracks in your ceiling before falling asleep (27) you tell them how many glasses of wine it takes to feel decent again (at least 4) you tell them how many hours it's been since you last ate (56)
and they wish you ate the ******* ziti and blew your nose in damp handkerchiefs because an acceptable amount of time has passed and you should be healed by now, but what they don't know is your timetable is inverted and you work in wrong-way highways. they don't know that time is scar tissue much more delicate than the lock-box you've put him and all the things he did in, and each second chips away at that box and the essence of him is seeping out like acid that melts through all your barriers.
the good guys and do-gooders don't want to open your broken-heart bank and let all the bees out. they want you to eat the ziti and say thank you like it actually fixed something.
Feb 2017 · 490
528i
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
I came across a BMW 528i today -- same make and model as yours, same rusty maroon clunk ******* you drove so proud. Could’ve been yours, with its cracked leather and yellow stuffing vomiting from seat to the floor, steering wheel worn from your callouses. High school football team kind of callouses, country boy livin' kind of callouses. Inverted smile, dimpled chin, kind brown eyes kind of callouses. Take a girl like me on a 4-wheeler and make her scream middle of a Sunday kind of callouses. Raise in surprise as headlights blind you in Charleston kind of callouses. Lay limp with pavement shot through your skull and bone shards in your leg kind of callouses. Some drunk kid driver says just some ****** drunk kid crossing the street, came out of ****** nowhere. You were some drunk kid, but you had the right of way, and how couldn’t he see you? You brought the light wherever you went, drunk kid, and now you're ICU comatose-kid, and thousands of us are thinking about you back home. Drunk kid, high school football star kind of kid, just out for a drink kind of kid. Likes his cars like his women – flashy, look past the maintenance kind of kid. But your girl’s back home projectile vomiting yellow body stuffing through leather ****** lips, and your 528i is somebody else’s, and they didn’t appreciate it like you did, kid. It's just sittin’ in the street, and you’re just lost. Some kind of hospital kid.
for my good friend, Ben. get better, bud
Feb 2017 · 1.0k
i am no battered wife
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
the first thing people would say upon our engagement is show me the ring like some bling is an ode of your love to me. i am not a homemaker i am a homebody. i excel in colombian coffee and monday night pub specials and cheap wine with expensive labels. i excel at being one of the guys and by being one of the guys i mean not being your wife. i filled the crevices you scraped in me like some kind of sculptor smoothing over past mistakes like being your wife was some kind of placebo pill i can sweat out with half-empty pizza boxes and grease stains on a couch that was never mine. when i first tell people about us about what i've done they say
but you two fit so well
but i liked you together
but you were going to get married
but but but
but they don't see your knuckles almost shaking hands with my jawline or the time i stared at you deadpan i'm not scared of you and i think that's what scared you that i'm no battered wife that i'll take you all bleed you dry then smile from the corner.
i am no battered wife like the woman who raised you
whose christmas-gifted blanket i'm currently curled under but whose 4 a.m. whispered words i cherish more he can't make you forget what you felt like your lies would forge me into the bat **** crazy ***** you christened me but what i felt in your *****-stained breath amaretto-sweet words ice-diluted eyes was i am no battered wife
i am no laying next to you in bed at 30 with kids i couldn't convince myself to want and bruises that fit your fingers on my ribs. i'll take my tuesday tequila and too-loud laughs, my scrounging for quarters for just one more cup of coffee over your stability smirks.
Feb 2017 · 2.5k
untitled
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
it’ll be cold later, you say;
dark clouds serve as premonition for the February I deserve,
summer in the first quarter  
sometimes I want to drink so much
i forget my own name
or forget yours;

instead

i laid flat on the pavement tonight,
letting the stones sink into the flat of my skull
wishing the sting of them
could make me forget
all
Feb 2017 · 479
Tempranillo Tears
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
i'm drowning in tempranillo tears,
drenching my veins in
hard rock and **** wine,
trying to get the
taste of you
out of my mouth
Feb 2017 · 466
Black Thread
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
you know just how to drive me wild*

requesting my favorite foreign gin
at a frequented bar;
running those fingertips over a label of dry red
the same way you traced road maps
on my hips last night.

i put some love into the poems you gave me,
can you tell by the creases in the corner?

10 a.m. tequila tastes like you
and those crystal eyes that unstitch me;
you unspool me
into an amaranthine ravel
of black thread --  
exploring dusty corners,
searching for what i've missed
Feb 2017 · 253
State of My Massacre
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
Trees catch fire much easier
in this winter of my soul.
I set various limbs alight,
these extensions of myself
smolder,
crumble
beneath gasoline words
and flint fingertips
until all that remains are skeletal outlines
of what was
and what you used to be.

Toxic fumes hover in particles between us --
evidence of my existence,
the state of my massacre
of us
Feb 2017 · 1.3k
hello, jupiter
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
I have a passion for graveyards,
          for ghosts and secrets lurking below overturned soil,
cracked headstones screaming haunted pledges,
          ripe grass fertilized by those we love.
The perfect place for a sunlit picnic.  

Jupiter hangs low in the pregnancy of midnight,
          lord of my eternity.
A sustenance to fuel my blood and feed my soul,
        we spend our nights swapping juniper berries and allegories.
You’re my albatross, my cemetery stone,
          a Cheshire catalyst embedded in my soul.
Feb 2017 · 868
Pair of Clubs
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
you taste saccharine
like the edge of sin
fermenting honey wine
on heady summer nights

you tend to linger
forbidden fog and shadow mirrors
midnight smoke trailing in your wake
London thunder and hurricane waves

a pair of clubs
the taste of sorrow in my blood
you're magnetic
pragmatic
soul tendrils entangle with mine
beyond crystal eyes

i crave someone with your unconditional flavor
something i can savor
in the high tide of your
luminosity
Feb 2017 · 750
Sacrificial Secrets
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
heartbreak brings out the best in me
eloquent words bleeding onto crumbled pages
lost from the light

the majority of my veins
is weighed down by red wine
violet-stained lips like i've been
******* blood
give us this day our daily bread
instead, i've been ******* souls
from those
i love

forgive me, father, for i have sinned
buried among too many sheets
intoxication boiling just beneath the surface
making friends with all my scars

i really need to stop giving excuses for you
your righteousness carving silver secrets
into the plains of my hips
let me shed my secret
ripe skin stretched taut against bone
bleeds the easiest
hurts the most

at least i have something to remember you by
defensive wounds meant for your heart
flaying myself for your wrongdoings

i see in lilac sunsets
eternally it is i who stands the sinner
as the sun of the day plunges me into
the familiar ache of moonlight
i repent
punish myself
12 silver, sacred Hail Mary's
shedding blood as a
sacrificial apology
and a new day starts, an indigo dawn
but i don't have enough blood
for the both of us
freestylin' it
Feb 2017 · 640
Ceremonial Silence
Anna Skinner Feb 2017
a ceremonial silence fills the space next to me,
the exact width of your chest
a spectrum of sweat-stained sheets
and thick air
a heavy fan thrumming --
it can't replace the lack of breath sounds.

blast the hot water,
let the droplets sear my skin
marking countless valleys where your fingers should be
instead, i'm covered in minor burns,
heart chock-full of sadness

i search for you, but all i get is
a ceremonial silence
and a ****** fan
Jan 2017 · 710
Kingdom Come
Anna Skinner Jan 2017
give me your sorrow, I'll turn it to stone
give me your scars, I'll turn them to stories

scald me with your molten steel sadness and
watch art bloom from your suffering

erase silver scratch thoughts and
drift away to the scrawl of my pen

watch your pain tattoo these lines, scalding my veins
and spilling onto these pages
Mar 2016 · 963
These fragile things
Anna Skinner Mar 2016
How do I tell you*
I love the way three dollar wine tastes,
a cheap buzz lighting up my veins,
merlot dripping tears on the floor
I sought for comfort last night.

How do I tell you
That silver is the sweetest color,
singing songs into flesh as I drag her
through scar ridden skin,
opening rivers and avenues
I could be an architect with the way I construct,
drawing with permanent marker on
scribbled, blood stained satin

How do I tell you
I break off pieces of myself,
store them in my broken heart bank,
savor memories for later, when ripped
liquid velvet
doesn't leak onto my fresh floor
anymore

How do I tell you
I curse your nightly name,
thick tongue tasting the
stale sangria of your lips

How do I tell you
How do I tell you
*How do I tell you
Feb 2016 · 786
soul dream
Anna Skinner Feb 2016
shadows collapse
     at dusk
silent lightening,
     an unknown storm

her heart a bitter white moon,
     and unseen spirit
crows murmur in darkness,
     leaving tell-tale secrets

she shivers
     at midnight
I watch from the cemetery,
     spirits lost in night,
yearning to cup
     her aching bones
Jan 2016 · 518
Lost Causes
Anna Skinner Jan 2016
Tile walled tear drops
And shower suicide thoughts
The humidity makes it
Hard to breathe
Or maybe that's sadness
And her hard hands slowly
Claiming me as her own
Again.
A lone soul has never felt
This suffocating
Dec 2015 · 2.0k
Colorado Sky Line
Anna Skinner Dec 2015
Country never felt like home to me.
Kansas open road stretches –
for forever, these empty badlands,
and you screaming next to me out an open patch
of freedom
through the blocked air of my sunroof,
letting your soul run free in the gun slate
of the elastic sky.
Acidic gas station coffee lingers on your lips,
a stained kiss for the magnetic sunset,
while Colorado mountains crest the distant horizon.
Country never felt like home to me,
before roads, before skyscrapers,
before my love of the city,
there was just land, just these mountains.
Country never felt like home to me.
Maybe that’s why I feel so free.
Dec 2015 · 797
The Words You'd Say
Anna Skinner Dec 2015
I fell in love with words.
Yours, especially,
imagining them like penciled fonts
with the black tipped crown of an i,
the curves of your tongue as
you uttered blossoms of a promise.

You letters would curl through my mind,
stronger even than the lips
pressed against my forehead
sending me off to sleep,
where I dreamt of the
intricacies hidden behind
the words you'd say.

Pencil fades,
and over time,
so did you.
So instead I was left with
blotted, ****** sheets
as you erased your words
from me.
Dec 2015 · 1.1k
Skid Marks
Anna Skinner Dec 2015
Skeletal fingers naked of leaves
stretching empty promises
into white skies
I take breaths
between the lines of your garbled
I love yous
whispered into the hollow of
my neck and
all I feel
are broken twigs
against an innocent back

Blurred city lights
palms pressing against fogged
window panes
wishing you were here
the hills and
hollows and
hidden valleys
of my body
calling out into an empty
lonely
night

Water scalding scarlet
running burned fingers over
******* and
belly and
thighs
coaxing old singing love from
white railroad tracks etched through
crystal critical
veins
skid marks from the
love you
left me
with
May 2015 · 566
Sidecar
Anna Skinner May 2015
The world looks much better
from behind your eyes,
and I would love to view it
in that same light, myself,
but all those little lights
have their own dark corners
from my perspective,
so I'll follow you instead,
out of the dark and into the light,
a passenger in your love of the world.
May 2015 · 875
Moth's Wings
Anna Skinner May 2015
Your hands,
like moth’s wings,
pass over my cheekbones,
attracted to the light behind my eyes.
You leave a trail,
like dust from moth’s wings,
as you float off and away
from my life as soon as
the sun rises.
May 2015 · 641
Fade Away
Anna Skinner May 2015
I saw you last evening, beauty,
ivory skin illuminated.
You tore me to ribbons,
          tore me to ribbons
I sewed you in my heart
     so you'd never go away
          you went away
Now my heart is in ribbons,
          in ribbons
And you blew me away,
     with smoke eyes you cast me into
          explosions in the sky
Me chasing all my mistakes,
     you calling me back
Here we are,
     running circles
          running circles
Swinging around each other
     in a trapeze
Just tying our pain into knots
     on top of knots
And we are unable to untangle
     ineffable
          ineffable
So keep your distance
instead of this waltz,
     running circles,
           running circles
around like prey
Fade away, a moon into the night  
      fade away
          fade away
A black hole into my life
May 2015 · 649
High Velocity
Anna Skinner May 2015
We are hurtling toward an unknown
dark matter,
I want to explore all your
dark places,
taste
your
secrets
and get lost
in all their crevices.
Our darks cancel each other,
and the sun will emerge
from the black night
of my eclipse,
and you will pull me
from my self-dug grave
and into the light.
May 2015 · 614
Velvet Lies
Anna Skinner May 2015
Smooth talker,
with dancing fingers soothing over
sensitive areas.

It won’t happen again, you tell me.
I’ll make this right, you promise.

Your words, like velvet to my fingers,
appeal to my heart ache,

And I almost forget the past
as angry red scars turn silver
and the past's flame fades to a sliver

Yet like ghosts in a Polaroid,
your past comes back to haunt me.

And I think of the curves of another woman
nestled in your velvet embrace

And I wonder if she believed
your velvet lies, too.
May 2015 · 776
Don't forget me...
Anna Skinner May 2015
The sun drowns,
sinking below the Pacific,
the horizon line aflame
with it's last dying declaration,
and she whispers,
her hand cold in his as she fades
into the ocean that consumes the sun,
*don't forget me
a.c.s
Apr 2015 · 624
Rise
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
The sun always intrigues me,
the way it sets after a long day –
a giant, burning orb,
a heavy heart settled somewhere between the
sky and the horizon.
Yet it still rises each day,
no matter what preceded the present,
it still glows in the east every morning –
peeking toward a new beginning.
I want a heart resilient like that,
rising no matter what obstacles
caused me to set the day before.
And resulting in an explosion so powerful,
that all the universe ends.
Apr 2015 · 476
Blue Blood
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
I hate feeling like this
like there are so many beautiful things
and I can never breathe them in
because of the filter that screens
all things wonderful
from bringing oxygen
to my blood.
#a.c.s
Apr 2015 · 553
Angel Wings
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
I hate what follows September,
when you angel wings won’t
lift me anymore,
and I won’t get to explore
the golden corners of
your soul.

I hate this beautiful earth
for ripping you from my
life.

I hope you enjoy those mountains
and think of me when you see the
depth of those canyons –
just as complex as my heart.
I hope you get the same rush
that I did when
your lips grazed my knuckles.
#a.c.s
Apr 2015 · 356
Seasons
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
You loved me like the
seasons and winter seems to
be where you’ve left me.
Apr 2015 · 547
Omens
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
You thought of it as an interesting occurrence,
that raven sitting in the middle of
a busy cobblestone path that day,
a traitor at high noon.
But I saw it for what it truly was,
an omen,
or the irreparable split between us
and now at dusk,
both you and our raven are gone and I want
to call to that bird
and ask why it had to choose me
because I wasn’t quite ready
to lose you
just yet.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Crosswords
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
You never used to be good with words
when they always smoothed from my lips
like a soothing balm.
But now you’re the words
and hidden meanings
jumbled in a crossword puzzle
that I can’t seem to solve.
Apr 2015 · 840
Under a Copper Moon
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
We watched the day die
And fade from our lives
Just like the memories of us
Apr 2015 · 463
The Rhythm of the Rain
Anna Skinner Apr 2015
He played to the rhythm of the rain,
a glass of blood red pinot noir at his feet,
an acoustic guitar balanced on his knee –
crooning the sounds of an
aching heart.
The acoustic paused its epitaph,  
letting the patter of rain on an
aluminum roof
fill in the sounds where his friend
should have been.
He glanced at the empty wicker chair beside him
and wondered –
despite their ranging conversations
from music to Hell –  
why they never discussed what one would do
without the other.
wrote this after interviewing a man who lost his best friend
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