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Angela Mary Pope Mar 2014
Amidst the grey and green leaves that have fallen
out of last years trials and tribulations
rest pieces of you
that have belonged to the past for some time.

I kick my way
through shady remnants of your missing pieces
that crumble into shadows
of a forgotten life.

As I cross these paths I've held onto this wish
that your yesterday could become my today
because everything old
will eventually become new again.

I realize my tomorrows
have turned into wasted yesterdays
when I sit here and wish
on something so empty.

With my back against the wall,
my self doubt cheapened by a series of personally inflicted misfortunes
I fumble for the right footing to be placed
in order to stand tall again.

Now it's me
that feels my ashes scattered across the earth
like your fallen pieces cast down
among crumbled remains of life

as I stand here
with fumbled footing
trying to figure out the way to mold my ashes back together.
Angela Mary Pope Dec 2013
When I see you these days
It's not as if I don't feel you
Because I still feel you
In everything I touch
That doesn't feel me in return
When I touched you
I felt it
through the knots on my back
and the cilia on my lungs
that have been singed off by smoke
And when you touch me these days
what I feel most is
all the scars on my body bursting open
Angela Mary Pope Apr 2014
Once It knew a book
Where the pages only opened
to where they were supposed to

This beautiful magic
kept to Itself
in a way only she and it
and it and she knew

One day It left itself
by no fault of its own
It couldn't help it

It knew it just had too much to know
So
It knew it would always love
and it knew it would always love her
It knew that she, and it too,
were the last of anything substantial

And now It's left know knowing
my very biggest fear
that the very biggest fear it had
was my love for it,too.
Angela Mary Pope Jul 2015
When the lights went out
and you were left to your own devices
what part of the bars did you hold onto
in the name of sudden compromise

this city spoke in a voice that whispered at just you
you were always a fast talker who had nothing left to lose
the paints we played with to write on walls
were colored by blood and the skid of your shoes

Left behind and held back
by the same pane of glass
that broke into a thousand pieces
when the ceiling finally cracked

Now may these fond memories
hold truth upon your life's beaten down path
so I can pretend that in that moment
you knew to you that you were on the right track.

you
Angela Mary Pope Sep 2014
I wonder if stars ******?

when they explode!

creating new life.
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2014
saved me from a spell
a well of dark that crept through the sidelines
you wept what you felt
had yourself lost in the guidelines and lifelines

what was worse was the line
between good and evil I sought
I know even lines
and I taught you to crop them I thought
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
my voice hurts when I talk to you
like time is fake and I don't know what you mean
if you ever thought I took you for granted,
then your esteem is gleaming and that's something to see

my eyes hurt when I talk to you
i'm blinded by our misgivings
like if you ever stopped to see me too,
your gaze would graze through all my choice pickings

my thoughts hurt when I talk to you
you steal me away in an instant and its so easy
time and space tells us that we are here to
rest between pain and joy really really really seamlessly

my heart hurts when I talk to you


I leave alone
Angela Mary Pope Sep 2015
Frantically fled through the hallway,
                 Spinning steps down the steep stairway,
                     Looking into the room with no light,
                          Behind the secret door bookshelf,
                                   Dreams on to the strange machine,  
                                                      ­         
                                                                ­    Now off to the stars
Angela Mary Pope Dec 2013
you are no one
darling i'm lost
you are the only one that has my back
and you are no one

I hear the echoes of all the laughter of these times i forgot to enjoy
in every half-step between breath and anxiousness.
I know you will remember that i loved you all until it hurt
and that helps to alleviate the guilt of making it my aim to miss.

I can't help felt, i crash standing up
between the spaces of my grace and shamelessness
I have left up to my haphazard luck
and you are no one

a howl in the night maybe
you are a ghost
that only whispers in my ear
when i've lost all sense of self-control

and i've become no one
you know I know you did it
darling i'm drunk
and i know you know i'll just forget it

because we are no one
Angela Mary Pope Sep 2014
with all wistfully whispered through the illusions
that reflect against one another to make this life
each breath exhaled alludes to confusion
we take what we get to build shields against strife

one step further is one step out
trapped in a world of backs and ins
we know not what we are but what we're taught
time not a straight line but cyclical beginnings and ends

wrapped in endless beginnings again
Angela Mary Pope Nov 2013
I was the prism through which your world reflected
creating new light and colors against the swaying surface of your perceptions

you were the prism through which my world reflected
creating new life uncolored by my pained and tilted past recollections

lingering, longing, lightly listed measures that build these porous excess thoughts

from this large dose of time I've swallowed with still so little progress
a placebo in place of real growth my space refuses to process

time, space, space, time.
Everything.

Someone is in pain again
and it's someone i can save
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
'If and when I don't write
it's usually because I am afraid of or ashamed of myself.

Wanting to take it all back instead of put forth anything else
Take back the time, the energy,  the hoping
the mistaken sense that I was finally making sense
of a sense of something.

There is not a lot of it in this beautiful world
and the bit there is I don't get a taste of much.
what I have many times savored as such turns out to be poor or lack of common.
Non, sometimes, maybe.

As I pour myself into these forms and spaces and times,
time and time again
I am forced to acknowledge in retrospect
that again I spilled my being haphazardly into another mold.

Dripping over the edges,
drops of myself carelessly spilled all over arbitrary surfaces
in the excitement of trying to get it all into where it belongs
In that one sliver of a moment, a place where I belong.

All that I possess,
all these atoms of stars in my veins and all these old truths,
these explosions of thought and left behind trademarks and scar marked beams of light,
all these cold nights and deep meaningful thoughts,

and trip ups on my own people I sought
and you love me forget me love not forget me nots
I keep myself tethered to paper,
sooner or later the one thing in all of this that could make sense of what I came for.

(i had a lovely time.)
Angela Mary Pope Jun 2018
The tides are high and there is fear in their eyes,
the eyes of the ocean,
the eyes of the creatures down deep in the sea.

The hunt is real, they search deeper,
taking their whims and their fancies and their instinctual projections and finding themselves in their safest place.

The buildings that design the obsequious cityscape are filling with water. The groveling air towers over, like a filmy smoke of misused thoughts, and moments people want but lose.

The roofs are calling the names of crowds and everything is the same color.

The color of fear; mis-colored schools of thought, a murky brownish swim of trepidation and drowned almost brilliance.

She waits a while, leaving her misery and love and dirt and meaningfulness to turn into what it wants.

Her feet are one with her mind, a waterlogged caption held captive on a steamboat headed toward the end of the world.

The water is purest at the end of the world.

The way to move is no longer open form, pick a card and get a boat if she’s lucky.

Masses gather on the tops of buildings, Freedom a word synonymous to safety.

**** a boat this kid's gonna swim.

Paper boats and carrier pigeons prove the back and forth of things.

Overnight everything becomes as clear as the rising ocean.
The escapism from daily trivialities is now arbitrary as there is nowhere left to escape to.

People gather around doors, a vague hope that one might open in a way that is beyond itself.

Everyone glistens with wetness, water pouring from the sky, coming up from a place too deep to rightfully understand.

The mouths of fish are left to their own devices as one door opens.
A lonesome unlocked door holds a building of more buildings.

Facilities meant for easy death, built into one another like memories that play off of a fake idea of what the past means.  

Steel doors of fiery incinerators, reaching out for a hold on life. Immediate death the most vital thing any one of them can do.

She gathers. Thoughts, hope, love, sentimental objects. A sketchbook, a book of sketchbooks, a stick of incense, a cat, a longing.

She comes to a place of peace with the idea of steel-wrought incineration.

Meditation, endurance, strength. A step inside the narrow steel room, painted with the blood of the ancients, the loss of a civilization, She loses herself.

Within the nothingness that is death, comes a realization of the realization of nothingness at all.

This realization of nothingness transforms into darkness. A stumbling around. She wanders and wonders a while.

When she comes to, she recognizes a second consciousness.  

Herself.

Her consciousness seeps into the mind of an alternate version of herself.

Slowly, she fades.
Slowly, she morphs into herself again.
Angela Mary Pope May 2014
There was a difference you know

on the path that facilitated our growth

I'll never leave you

after I left you a long time ago

It wasn't your fault I know

you didn't know that I  found myself without you
Angela Mary Pope Oct 2013
I stood in the darkness of my shadow
trying to make it stretch longer and longer and longer
I lost feeling in all of my senses
is this what it means to become stronger?

I flooded the ocean with outstretched arms
when you felt it I knew you knew I meant it
Angela Mary Pope Jul 2014
Reality shifting in a way we could get to
if the world were just a bit flatter
when the truth of the moon is reliant upon the sun
where everything with matter cyclically scatters

surrounded by faces,
he sits lives lonely some
waiting in an empty room
she's knows no one will come

I've been outdone,
he traveled faster than you
you've been outrun,
she did better than I could do

its the way that time is spun
like wind on J's cling clang clatter
where complacency is hung
next to apron strings as a happily ever after

At least the ones that needed me
had the quiet decency of fair warning
that they signaled the cubs to eat away everything
the wolves couldn't use to play with me
Angela Mary Pope Nov 2013
There was a time that I lived in a place not too far
didn't feel so sure in my own skin
Tangled movements and mangled fur
my voice less of a purr and more just the wind

It's not that I'm bad
so much as don't know what's good
hard not to have envy
for that little red hood

He prowled through the forest
he growled there ever near
He knew not what love was
he lived only in fear

No he knew not what love was
so quick to attack
Anything to fill the hole left
by the affection he lacked

All the warmth of a grandma
he thought he might gain
by swallowing her up
unknowing his place in her pain

All the kindness of a child
he wished for so much
certain to have once
he made her his lunch

With everyone gone
He walked on in defeat
Wearing a red hood into shadows
With no love left to eat
Angela Mary Pope Feb 2014
When I try my hardest
I can still love you the most
And it's not hard
it's just not the same as it used to be

But our dreams are still parallel
Like the world that exists
In some turquoise tangerine place
where we managed to keep it sacred

And if I think about it long enough
I remember how sad it was at the end
Seeking relief
When we only found solace in naked

And if I reach out to touch the stars
It brings your skin back to my flesh  while it burns our history back into the harbor of forgotten ships
That never masted

Sewing words together to make them
Out of moments that never lasted
This is what time felt like
When we weren't able to forget mistakes and tribulations
We could have but didnt outlast and

(I had a lovely time.)
Angela Mary Pope Feb 2014
When I try my hardest
I can still love you the most
And it's not hard
it's just not the same as it used to be

But our dreams are still parallel
Like the world that exists
In some turquoise tangerine place
where we managed to keep it sacred

And if I think about it long enough
I remember how sad it was at the end
Seeking relief
When we only found solace in naked

And if I reach out to touch the stars
It brings your skin back to my flesh  while it burns our history back into the harbor of forgotten ships
That never masted

Sewing words together to make them
Out of moments that never lasted
This is what time felt like
When we weren't able to forget mistakes and tribulations
We could have but didnt outlast and

(I had a lovely time.)
Angela Mary Pope Dec 2013
this mumbling fog lurks tonight

across pointed shadows,
living between triangles of manufactured light,
pivoting between and around one another accordingly,
shaping themselves how they are queued to.

this smoke reflects against unlit windows,
like these dogs that howl in chorus,
breathing a shift of movement into the air,
leaving the city under a bested silence.

a finely tuned design
that these empty streets
may speak without interruption
Angela Mary Pope Feb 2014
There are times that pass us

Where the looks in the eyes if our counterparts don't seem to reflect the ocean of haphazard fishes that float to the surface of our own.

We all have this life, this temporary state of being before stumbling upon the key which unlocks our next current,
jet stream,
whirlpool,
flood.

I think of you-
not often,
more than often enough.
I know you witnessed my recalibration
cause tough love is rough
but we grow from it
and stuff

You were so beautiful
with those scars painted on your eyes
And I was so beautiful
pumping veins made by starlights of ancient skies

I was lost in my lovely time
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
When the city speaks in whispers
over the shouting of animals
and ca-cawing of birds
I trace the lines of your face
against the case of my pillow
wondering again why things have taken so long

While life is so short
one quick gulp of the fantasy
now to rest in fluidity too shallow to tread
So I think of you often
and I forget you even more
not for memory because we're timeless
but for my own idea of the calendar

It's based on howls and ghosts
on improperly relaying messages
and what I truly loved most
And what kind of test this is
and incorrectly translating
endless lists of wistfulness

What kind of test is this?
Angela Mary Pope Sep 2014
tumbling trees and bumbling branches
leave it to me to **** through the circumstances
perhaps you reflect the mess of second glances
with these days all sideways I'm not much to take chances

I never felt like we were quiet
quite a perfect match
you leave it to me to unravel the riot
I leave it to you to deadly the catch

and you're next
and i'm next
and we're next
and he's next

and one day this will all be mine.
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
The story was told once when I was alive enough to live
we had a place in time that liked us
And we spit and kicked just to give it breath

Wanna know a secret darling, do you want to know a place?
you had a lot of grace in the way you panicked and that's what gave us pace

look out baby, the stars are flying over our heads again
you're asleep and I'm fast asleep, where neither of us give in


to the loss that comes with the change of things


now the shore keeps me at bay and I'll live this story alone
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
Don't you chirp at me.
Eyes closed, the sun stabs her in the mouth.

The taste of fear fills her face as everything come back;
she vomits a good while,
memories stirring and playing themselves in the tune of a forgotten sea
(cause times are changing and that's just what they do).

spit. trust. trust. spit.

Waves crashing against a wall of recollection in a way
that is meant to be kept for the punitive and the exiled.

The train blares outside somewhere
fuzzy focus dissipates quickly
and this slowly comprising function of clarity
comes to a screeching halt as it begins to pour in.

In some state of bewildered entitlement
Angela Mary Pope Feb 2014
The tides were high and there was love in her eyes
tides  of fear, eyes of creatures that live way down

Deep in the Sea

The hunt was real, she swam deeper,
knowing she wouldn't
come back to the surface again

If truth were real, she knew there were no way farther

And so she swam

The skies were dark and there was pain in his eyes
skies of fire, stars of creatures burning

Down into infinity

The hunt was real, he shone farther,
knowing he wouldn't
ever light the bottom of the ocean

If lies were real, he knew there would be no way to shine deeper

And so he began again
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
You were beautiful when you had shadows around you
and even more so you were beautiful

When you were honest


Like only the way a statue could be honest

Beautiful
and honest
and cold
and steadfast

That is just precisely what you were


Like a cold, barren, stone state of being
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
And we didn't even talk about anything real

And when you kissed me it felt so sad,
and I was difficult to dismiss,
But thought hey at least I'm with him and I have something to feel.

And after we had ***, you fell asleep and I stayed awake watching Ancient Aliens.
And when I looked over at you,
faraway and safe in your own world,

Where you didn't carry the burden
of feeling forced to talk to anyone about anything that is actually real,
not in this outside paradigm but the realest thing you have,

what is lulled in your heart,
that which you hold so close and so coveted and so hidden
and I knew you were gone.

And I saw then that you have been gone for a long time,
that you tucked your heart back into it's secret hiding place a long time ago.
And maybe when I found it back then,

I didn't know the preciousness of what I had,
and maybe you didn't know if you could trust me to possess it
or maybe I never found your heart at all,

way back then your heart was still just where you left it

All I have now is that look in your eyes when you tell me you can't stay
when I reach for your hand and you brush it away
A lesson learned in love, may it never again feel so cold

And if I ever run across that look I found in your eyes again,

I would sooner sell it to the devil then give away my soul
Angela Mary Pope Apr 2014
You were the one the that said I've had it
and you were the one that said hey take this have it

It was never a need but a trust
left in replacement of something else
we thought we had then realized we lost

I can't keep running away

All that my friends need
All the roots of this family tree
my mama calls it a soul family
I want more than I can give for all of you
I'm swallowed into the caverns of my guts but still
I have the moves I know you know I make

And now you hurt because I'm hurting
no I'm crazy no, crazy the derogotory term used to define people we don't understand
im thinking now
no, i'm thinking you think it doesn't matter I'm leaving
here, i'll help you grow.
pain is the most powerfully transformative
Tool
I want a Separate Reality for you
a World of Pooh maybe, a Narnia, maybe, a Mirror of Souls, maybe, a Jitterbug Perfume in a way that only a Manic Pixie Dream Girl could sway

lemme tell you that i need you

But i never did
I just wanted you
because sometimes
sometimes the wanting alone is enough to feel whole
when filling short chapters in a desperation to find closure

we don't live to die
we die to exist and feel alive.
Angela Mary Pope Jan 2014
My reflection couldn't see
Only for the world to witness
Glistening eyes, gristle and teeth
A wild air, grizzly hairs amiss

loss complete
through stark white sheets
I sleep in too closely
beside the ghost that wears them

Like long blank stares
From the monster that lives
between and beneath
Whatever needs picking up

I see what you see and you see me, I mean

Long blank stairs
creaks and cracks
telling the story
leading to nowhere that surprises us

When doors no longer lend to surprises

I left you right from wared
so you left me under there
the voice of a dream
from underneath the stairs
Angela Mary Pope Apr 2017
The world is cruel and I'm a fool
Life is cheap and I'm ******* poor
Please may I have some water
Where's the water
I don't have any more

I won't stand here quiet
Quite the not the perfect match
You're leaving my to unravel the riot
I'm leaving you to deadly the catch
Angela Mary Pope Oct 2013
I can't be free
the shut off part of me sees

I loved you for a really long time

and you too,

for a really long time

I take what I can get

then I make my world beautiful

out of the scattered pieces
Angela Mary Pope Oct 2013
When I talk in circles
I know I'll find you somewhere
inside of the intertwined kite strings
I watched you fill your map with

the altitude that connected was golden
you fly with a lot of strength
you get from leaving words left unspoken
pulling at all of your wound up length

[I bet I am the perfect tool].

I can't leave the best of us
with the true of you shining broken
I knew when you wanted none of this
The crow flew and at you it flashed its short token.

it wasn't your fault, just your shadow that faltered
but nothing less then this moment
this moment right here that was shattered

pieces of pattern become fragments holed tattered

don't it.
Angela Mary Pope May 2014
Rain is falling on a mirror of sunshine
and I have no idea what that means

I gave myself a little bit of room to breathe
right between my inclination to intervene
and my lack of a spleen
It seems I grew some wings and flew the scene.

Once again life is nothing but a dream
my boat has nowhere to go
but against the current of the stream
(if you know what I mean)

If I just had one more second
I could've painted myself a place to live comfortably
yet when I heard the bell ring
my time ran out just as the spigot ate the spout.

No doubt that everything
is another piece of some one else's perception
though sometimes defective
we overlap to create our directions.

I think I don't think things through when I need to
so whose fault is it
when all the walls become see-through?

Glass smashes and that's the whole truth
Angela Mary Pope Aug 2013
Here and suffocating
or gone and homesick
every shade of grass knows
that a sense of loss is certain

I know trust is made
through the bonds we pick
like you know when your mast sails
you're casting your sense of purpose

I'll let you at mapping your unknown seas
you'll leave me to swim in mine
ex marked the how we got here
after I lost my sense of time

You told me from the get go
back then it wasn't hard to hear
Baby I can't be enough for you to hold
while I'm lost in learning how to steer

I knew it wouldn't last when
you were unfamiliar with just lying naked
but sometimes a fox in the lion's den-
his outta place just feels so sacred.

(I had a lovely time.)

— The End —