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Apr 16 · 108
Rain
Victoria Apr 16
Why are there worms when it rains
Gathering to the surface for air, for sun
The pinecones curling like dead bugs
Like upturned cockroaches and beetles
The scent of forgotten aquariums hanging over the dirt
The petrichor stained metal handrails
With grass soaked pools

And after it rained
The corpuses of worms sat
Gruesomely pressed into pavement fossils
Beneath a brown soled sneaker
Apr 16 · 1.3k
"I Love You"
Victoria Apr 16
Its called falling in love, like an accident
As if something unplanned, that you cant understand
But I didn't fall in love with you, I never did
Because we walked into love, hand in hand
Apr 16 · 276
The Little Robot Boy
Victoria Apr 16
There was a sort of whizzer boy,
The tinker blinker clinker boy,
With gears and knobs and springs abound,
A head full of thoughts and gears that go round.

He liked to paint and make and build,
For every craft, yes, he was skilled.
“Working hard but with time to play?
Why, that’s my favorite kind of today!”

But what made him different, you see...
He was always quite metallic-y,
And when it was his time for bed,
He charged his battery, and turned off his head.
Mar 30 · 197
Sheep/Wolf
Victoria Mar 30
The sheep in wolf's clothing,
The fraud the fake-
Does that bundle of grey fur,
Hide the mistakes you make?

Sing of sleep little sheep,
Or are you still awake?
Do those howls and growls
leave you too frightened to shake?

You've got them convinced,
So let's hope for your sake,
That they'll never realize,
And that you'll catch a break
Feb 11 · 300
Indigenous
Victoria Feb 11
I am a native woman
It runs in my veins, my skin, my bite
Barefoot to twine and leaves drizzle down
As I walk tirelessly through poison brush
To the lonesome crystal waterfalls, white stones
I contemplate my dagger, entering my being
Do you see now my flesh? My blood? My teeth?
What more must I prove? I would ask
But no, I am a woman
Natively
Jan 3 · 593
Abuela
Victoria Jan 3
My grandmother sticks sewing pins in the walls
Sharp, invisible pins with the bulbs sticking out
She claims they moved there by themselves
True, I’ve never seen her do it-

But there’re needles in the floor
Tiny, sinister needles with the smallest eyes
She says she doesn’t mind them
Slides on her black slippers

And she walks
Dec 2020 · 377
Missing
Victoria Dec 2020
I saw your shadowed twin last night
Under the open moon
And as I walked I heard your voice
So hushed with an echoed tune
Your scent dragged along the wind
All things I’ve missed the most
Your gentlest touch on my sleeping skin
My dear, my love, my ghost
Oct 2020 · 157
Hopeless
Victoria Oct 2020
You lie to yourself saying
"It'll get better"
But you're on the verge of crying
In the empty warmth of his sweater

You're jealous of the things he can do
But you know that deep down the problem is you

You think about the days
You wrote him thousands of letters
Of promises and hopes and dreams
Guess that you're a destined debtor

He says that he believes in you
But what am I supposed to do?
Victoria Oct 2020
The homely honey musk that hangs against his chest,
Sweetly soft redolence left behind on worn clothes,
Long forgotten fireplaces, foggy lakes, bike accidents,
Gentle walks on beaten pathways and brisk fall mornings,
Clear showers with brightly fragrant soaps-

A scent that's all his own
The comfort I call home
Aug 2020 · 200
Intangible Memories
Victoria Aug 2020
I spend my lifetimes chasing the unfathomable
Resonance of nostalgia and melancholy that blends
Into my grandmother's bed, a storage box, a picture
Frame by frame they jumble together sepia toned like
Toys, music, buildings, the time you fell onto concrete
Walks to the schoolyard away from music box cradle songs
Your mother would sing to you before you slept
Wondering about the world, the unknown, the darkness
Overcoming you into the lulled unconscious playground
Spurring up the pain, the reminder, the tug from the beyond
The realm of describable, was it ever even here?
Aug 2020 · 120
Goodnight
Victoria Aug 2020
Carry me in your arms to bed,
Against your chest, I’ll rest my head,
And even if I’m safe with you,
Know that all those promises I’ll keep true,
For now eyes speak, mouths hush, not to cry,
We’ll fall asleep to the heartbeat lullaby-
Fall asleep my love, to our lullaby
Jul 2020 · 70
The Mistake
Victoria Jul 2020
I think its time
I want to feel the homely sting
To lie under artificial waterfalls
and let my head drown in the noise
and still feel my own silence
and punish myself for the things they say
because its true
and its time I face it

no, NEVER AGAIN
you promised...
Jul 2020 · 185
Thinking [Revised]
Victoria Jul 2020
in that stillness moment i, questioning
why people stare through (and stare within, staring through)
that fuzz or mush like their covered window panes (staring within, staring through)
that shy window pane that turns

eeyoyvrbd   e r o e b y v y d   e  e  y  y  o  d  b  r  v

so that i (staring in, staring at) may roam in

eybdoryoyebordyoevydebdbeyodebedyobyobye

turning my mind to that fuzz and static, becoming fogged window pane
to look out (and stare) like rain droplets caressing
so rough they fall to pound that pavement
pavement so coarse and electric like the peppered mountain range
where i stand
my shoes fill like leaking boats
to roam, to wander, in that desolate diorite range (staring within)
questioning (staring through) as time joining
disappearing
as headache turns everybody to everything turns

eybd   oryoy        ebordyoev  ydeb       dbeyodebe           dyobyobye
ebdoybeod       ebdoeboy debot     vverbdyodv   verdbey    odbver  vebsrobe      ybddoeb
Jul 2020 · 574
Important [Revised]
Victoria Jul 2020
my laptop                       when i type
clicks
and even when im not quite sure what it is im typing
it still                                               onward
click click clicks
onward as if something important
dancing sporadically over keys
in that heavy
C L I C K CLICK C L I C K
when i look up i see jumbled letters meaningless little black doodles sprawled across
lifeless conglomerations of things i know and (dont)
cl
just wanted to hear the sound
Jul 2020 · 316
The City Train (Of Thought)
Victoria Jul 2020
take the express to 45th and step over the yellow
line and track and train uptown and downtown to mid
town to city sitting in aluminum carts as
the white collars fall asleep in sync
adjust the ties and breathe the cold
air fogged and smogged around
the tops of the buildings scraping skies

how complacent are the suited
up for sleeping in the dull talking and shuffling
up one stands to fill his seat
reserved by a backpack and briefcase
clattering against the aluminum
blur as the buildings mesh outside the window
pillow for his unbothered head
dreaming nonetheless
Jul 2020 · 348
A Tree
Victoria Jul 2020
You took my hand and lead me away,
past the clock and through night free,
out to the hideaway where the sleepless wandered,
we sat in the dark, under a tree-

Roots winding past our sneakers,
wet grass and muddied debris,
and stars meld into streetlights,
far past under the tree-

You took me into your arms,
you spoke so quietly,
but i'll never tell you that I heard,
every word, under that tree-

I know you said you loved me
May 2020 · 185
Anger Of The Lamb
Victoria May 2020
I am the thunder that you never hear,
Suffocated in air and light;
Electricity,
Fire,
Lightning’s tiger-
(The roar you associate)-

The fighting call;
The alarm,
Rough, harsh slice of the night,
Unafraid,

The creature caged,
The light you saw and died in nothing-
Defining silent isolation,
A cage, a room, a tomb-

A buried body still alive,
The suffocation, the air, the light,
The absence,
The void,

How unremarkable I seem from the epitaph, from above,

So high above me, are you, you stand;

You morn me, I am alive,
Alive and buried under and under six feet of fear and anguish-
Of all the pains of past and future,
Of all the unsurety,

I can still assure you;

I am the thunder,

Waiting.
Jun 2019 · 316
Clouds
Victoria Jun 2019
One day I found myself afloat above the clouds,
Above thick gossamer mists created from the silver moon,
And those billows stretched thin across their deep canvas and joined in an intertwining infinite ocean,
Swarming around at their peaceful resonance so gently and smoothly flowing-

One day I found myself afloat above the clouds,
And I didn’t know where I was going
May 2019 · 111
Trauma
Victoria May 2019
When I was younger,
the monsters hid under my bed,
within dark closets,
and filled my head.

I ran away from those creatures,
those things of looming dread,
but nobody ever told me,
they'd chase me down instead.
Apr 2019 · 239
Marks
Victoria Apr 2019
I gave myself a tattoo,
Just a couple of small red lines,
And I know I shouldnt draw them but,
It’s my own little secret design.
Mar 2019 · 114
Toxic
Victoria Mar 2019
When I think of you,
My body shivers,
My throat starts to burn,
I become weak,
My head pounds,
My stomach churns,
I want to yell for help,
But I guess that’s just the side effects,
Of taking your poision.
Mar 2019 · 271
Orbit
Victoria Mar 2019
I want you to sway me,
Like how the moon dances with the earth,
Tugging your tides as you hold me close,
And making sure I don’t get lost
In this big wide dark abyss.

Darling let’s dance in the sunshine.
No matter how far away it seems.
We’ll explore each other’s secrets,
And send our whispers on rocketships,
To remember that we’re never alone.

Let’s slow dance until the end of time.
Where I can see your face forever.
Because without you,
These stars don’t shine as bright.
Mar 2019 · 462
Her
Victoria Mar 2019
Her
I’ve seen this girl hanging around before,
A couple of times I suppose...
Everybody’s always telling me about her-
How she acts,she speaks, her clothes-

But I never see her how they do,
And I can’t seem to comprehend,
They tell me she’ll have a big future,
When I just see dark dead ends.

I’ve seen her hang around before,
But it doesn’t make it clearer,
‘Cuz she always just stares back at me
In the dull reflection of the mirror.
Mar 2019 · 13.2k
Raised
Victoria Mar 2019
I wonder if I really am kind hearted.
Most people think it’s true,
But maybe I’m just afraid of being mean-
Maybe I’m afraid of being you.
Feb 2019 · 137
Walking The Mile
Victoria Feb 2019
I've got a pair of little black boots
boots that tell monochrome stories;
So when you see my little black boots,
think of their colorful glories.
Feb 2019 · 221
Important
Victoria Feb 2019
My laptop clicks when I type.
Click-Click-Click
And even when i'm not quite sure what it is i'm typing,
it still clicks onward.
Click-Click-Click
Onward, as if I was typing something important.
My fingers dancing sporadically over keys,
in that same heavy-
Click-Click-Click
But,when I look up, I just see jumbled letters, meaningless little black doodles sprawled across the screen,lifeless conglomerations of things I know and don't.
Click-
Maybe I just wanted to hear the sound.
Victoria Feb 2019
Lavender lotion
Mom told me that would make it better
Just breathe once or twice
And put on that one old fleece lined sweater
Pray to god and heaven and angel
Put my thoughts down in a letter
Lavender lotion, lavender lotion
Was nothing but a happiness debtor
Feb 2019 · 950
The Modern Raven
Victoria Feb 2019
Once upon a midnight,windy,
Graveyard heavy, tombstone weary,
Rose a man of great renowned-
The writer of which works can be found
Classroom sat in many a volume galore.
As the news and folk declare-
The dead whose lungs again took in air,
The writer who now stood before-
T’was Poe (and raven) of “Nevermore”.

“So if it be daemon, omen, curse or hex-”
In deciding action next, he spoke forth these words of old,
“I have been given further morrow, time of which furthers my sorrow,
Yet if I may this new life borrow- borrow perhaps to bring prose more-
In the hope,to continue prose more-
Pen to paper I’ll restore.”

Many a night spent struggling to create rhymes anew,
Edgar realized how language had changed,
For **** no longer meant to slay, and his beloved had turned to bae!
On his desk the perched bird had flown-
To say these words in had it flown-
Quoth the Raven “Just use Rhymezone.”
Feb 2019 · 374
Growth
Victoria Feb 2019
I planted a flower awhile ago,
by window where little light came through.
Somehow, still, it chose to grow-
so maybe I can too.
Feb 2019 · 130
Thinking
Victoria Feb 2019
People undervalue being alone-
Turning everybody else into white noise mush that turns my brain all fuzzy inside and out,
or having the rain pound pavement into ravines and mountain ranges,
rivers left behind that cause my old shoes to fill up like leaking boats.

Being alone is kind of okay.
I like feeling like a ghost sometimes, roaming around in the fuzz or the rain like the tv pictures floating around in bad-connection static-
And time goes very slowly and you wonder if it’s even passing at all...

But you’re alone, so it doesn’t matter how long you disappear for, it’s just you and your dull headache.
Feb 2019 · 442
Daydream
Victoria Feb 2019
I think I'll enjoy loving you
just from a distance
In this little space in my mind
Where the best version of you lives

I'll be satisfied loving you
where my fears are silenced by dreams
and you know my every insecurity
and the charm never fades

I love you, I'm sure I do,
But maybe its just the fantasy I love
That maybe its not me, but its you
but part of me knows that I'm more afraid
of me being the problem
Feb 2019 · 637
Art Museum
Victoria Feb 2019
Sometimes as I step out of the steaming shower, I see myself in the mirror and cant help but question the reflection. The way my body curves oddly trying to smooth out the bones underneath, how the small red lines appear from thin air, how broad my solders appear, spread out like a mountain range instead of a blooming pasture.

Then, I remember the Greek Statues with their pear-shaped bodies, and my towel drapes across my shoulder to become my sash. The soapy water beads are my olive crown as I stand poised.

But my face isn't up to par anyway, and this isn't the Greek period.
I think my sculptor forgot that, or maybe he wasn't that good with carving faces.
Feb 2019 · 108
Possessed
Victoria Feb 2019
Tearing me from inside out
This thing, felt yet intangible
Came from hell, bore a name
Depression is a cannibal

My heart is swallowed whole by it;
Brain rabid as an animal
And yet I tell you I am fine,for
Depression is a cannibal

You don’t see the damage done
For this thing, not understandable
But I’ll be eaten whole because
Depression is a cannibal

— The End —