If I was an eagle,
Soaring through skies,
If I was a cloud,
And my inner self dries.

If I was a giant,
Who never hurt flies,
If I was a demon,
With red, behind my eyes.

If I was Benedict Arnold,
Who always told lies,
Would you still love me,
Despite my disguise?

Before I started draining parts of me
onto this page
I couldn't see for the clearest of paths,
I would dwell,
Hide away in my own safe house
Of saturated stories.

I would scratch my head catching gravity
between my fingertips.
A color would be a rainbow in black skies
of circling crows.

The floor around me would move
dancing along,
It would lead me and my pen to paper
Like a knight's sword to stone.
I would wonder why my mind
Could paint,
My thoughts would explode
into millions of fireflies.

Sometimes I would see the most
flawless imagery
But I couldn't write it down for the awe
of being lost,
Inside my own world of untold stories,
and poetry.

https://soundcloud.com/ryancatullusholden/ryan-holdencatullus-preview-in-order-to-survive

1st Verse/16 Bars
I'm trying to earn more pennies to mark me a moment in life,
A moment in time, I should probably drop this razor sharp knife,
I need to Push forward through this crowd of confusion,
But your in delusion with these rhymes that I'm using and abusing
Cos I'm confusing, consuming, choosing and amusing myself,
refusing so I'm producing more tracks for consuming and wealth,
Snapping your neck at every single beat, whilst you're tapping your feet,
So all  sit back with some popcorn you're in for a much needed treat,
I ponder and wander in my mind sometimes as I see painted pictures,
when I paint I find a story or a rhyme using these triggers,
Whilst I play with words that take years to carve and curve,
something harder to learn and yearn into something much more worth,
More to you than me so my life had, meaning from my birth,
Ripping up turf, trying to find words beneath the core of earth,
So I rap in metaphoric tongue because I'm using poetic justice,
you're frowned from above whilst you try master and craft this.

(Chorus 1)
In order to survive,
Do all you can in life,
Make yourself feel alive,
In order to survive.

(2nd Verse/14 bars)
I use a form of speech that frees the soul to reach your own goal,
so you won't be buried inside you'll confide in deep parts using coal,
to set fire to bars you spit, ripping and fitting every single hole,
Whilst I rap I'm reforming and morphing them into some sort of mold,
Because while I'm hitting, n knitting bars like threads and then sowing,
the lawn whilst I'm mowing n showing people I'm always growing,
in capacity and trying to shove off some of the animosity,
the world's in atrocity whilst I'm producing I feel it subconsciously,
As we would say in Great Britain would you like a cup of Rosie Lee
and then In France they say no musketeers without the three,
but I found me as I perfect and refine every single line,
lyrics so evil I'll be committing a grade A crime,
in time for these dimes to drop without single a fine,
Lyrics so sour you may as well **** a lime.

(Chorus 2)
In order to survive,
Do all you can in life,
Make yourself feel alive,
Find a future or wife,

(3rd Verse/14bars)
I can rap like I'm insane but other rappers are plain,
No strawberry or chocolate just vanilla milkshake,
I dream of crowds shouting my name not in vain,
Because within this ink I'm pouring my soul through pain,
Razor, scissors and chainsaws will cut you all the same,
Like these lines that will cut you up whilst I'm in the game,
i hope you realise but this whole rap is one big metaphor,
A rise to the fame and all the glory comes with downpour,
Crying so hard he might flood the whole ground floor,
Biting so hard into the rap hes got lockjaw,
I hope my next song will be featuring someone who killed a
situation to diffuse the rhyme from the bigger picture,
I'm Slitting my veins to bleed and produce on this page,
trying to push and pull salary above the minimum wage.

(Chorus 1x2)

Lethal vines wrapped in cotton,
Complex thoughts rotten,
Divulged emotions best kept hidden,
Vicious teeth and cautiousness of being bitten,
Eavesdropping inside your subconscious,
Thoughts mischievous,
Open up my love, open up your heart,
We will never have an ending and this will be the start.

Jasper my best canine friend,
I have a message to send,
Ears so big, fluffy and free,
Always put a smile on me,
Oval sandy rock eyes stare,
Fur as dark as a black bear,
Coat so shiny lions mane,
Spirit animal large chain,
Mischevious wagging tail,
Someone outside bark and wail,
Muddy prints from paws alike,
Not an aspect I dislike.

As I stare into your alluring eyes,
You gaze back at mine,
Nibbling on her lower lips,
Enticing me into her soul.

She grabs my hand,
A thousand white feathers shimmering,
I Grab her hourglass waist,
And whisper "Kiss me"

A boy called bill grew up on a farm,
So bouncy, smelly and loud,
Mum shouted over "bill clean your plate, it won't do you any harm",
She gave him some new shoes to set him a test,
let's see if they can stay clean, please do try your very best,
Bill ran outside wearing his wellies so proud, happy and sleek,
Click
Clak
Click
Clak
Horses, cows all so fluffy and cute couldn't help but take a sneak peek,
Bill hopped, skipped and leaped so high,
he thought for a moment he could fly,
As he jumped over the fence to tend to the pigs, the wooden panel broke off,
Bill could see as he slowly fell down he was landing face first in pig trough,
When he collided there was dirt everywhere,
Poor little bill looked up surprised, he had it in his face and hair,
He opened the fence not daring to leap back to his mum, woke her from sleep,
Slip
Slop
Slip
Slop
He tapped on her shoulder smelly and brown,
His mother looked curiously and began to frown,
She said "bill I told you and what did I say?",
Bill said nothing, looked down stood in the doorway,
He slowly looked up and said "ok you were right"
And bill started cleaning his plate every night.

When my lips move
To match your ear drums
Just to sync my emotions
With yours.

Why is it that you
Stop playing the drums
And we sink deeper into
The abyss of lost love.

Two love birds in a tree,
Please stand by me.

We make history as we go
But we also create destruction,
We build sculptures clouds high,
Then find it so easy to knock down.

We rummage and do everything
Possible to find what we can't have,
Shouldn't have, don't need, just greed.

We fight because it's become normality
to brag about what you acquire,
Rather than to share what you have
So you've become a viper.

We walk past one another
As our palms cross paths,
And only dust falls slowly
Whilst our hands collide.

We don't want you to become
Another person to fall into the trap,
That modern society seems to be
Building and creating so cleverly.

Yet stupidly becoming blind
To it's own downpour,
So I wait for the day
As I pray,
We can all be together again.