It was the coldest night
Since this bee brain could remember.
These frozen vignette windows
Reminded me I was still here,
The wind screeched through the
Tiny gap in the slightly open window,
Just enough to make my lights flicker.
I swallowed my whisky on the rocks and choked on my tongue in fear.
The air was sharp, cutting the breath from my lungs. Seeing my own breathe reminded me of the years I'd spent in wilderness.
I was sat with my ink and pen jotting my notes, reflecting my lapse in time,
thinking about what came to be and where I had arrived.
The peaceful yet sambre sound of the weather gave me shivers through my body,
"Somebody just walked over my grave"
I said to myself.
But nothing could beat the fear, nothing would let this heart stay inside my chest,
leaping out onto my page, smearing ink and blood spelling out "I see you".
And just as I looked into my wives makeup mirror, it swallowed the night into a wisp of wonders, soon to be captured once again.
This world is so broke
The earth wrapped in smoke,
So I rapped just to cope
Throw glow to a soul,
Gave birth to adapt to the rap then I show,
Embrace my worth to grow l, then I sew,
Puffing this smoke blow away the fake hope,
Chasing my dreams til my dreams come home,
Spitting venom every sentence from a tongue of deception,
I question their method of self protection,
Adding dimension to this world I'm cutting tension,
Need a new invention for a cure to this infection,
I'm punching through-a-void, empty noise destroys,
I'm clutching to annoy so sing a-pray-a-boys,
people roun' me acting koi, like false raid on Troy,
actuality boy, shine the pain hide the joy,
so when I look right in the mirror I know I see me,
again, I took flight trial and error my guarantee,
I live daydreams writing schemes to be alone,
wearing baggy jeans no clean t, no phone,
a drone, figurines no family tree tired to roam,
singular road, my brains so fuzzy I'm bout to implode,
I'm the youngen in the runnin out gunnin,
I'm the one that's becoming too cunning,
I see your bluffing but your mind is numbing,
fallen in the system, it's your homecoming,
I can't shrug the vast curiosity
For the beating heart that strives
for her has become flat lined,
a line that no longer represents
hot coals of my love
The quivering shores are barren
to the sand that we count
as it is lost in winds of time
and life experiences.
Fast paced indecisiveness is lost
with my teenage years.
As is the confidence and acceptance
to sparks of love.
My soul shakes at the thought
but my heart leaps from my chest
like salmon up stream,
forgetting the cold waters and unable
to remember the tune.
For I am a bruised man.
So I cant risk the shards of this
glued heart being handled again,
As one drop, one fall,
could mean the end of my affection.
The doorstep we sat
Frantically eating ice cream,
before it melted
My sister would laugh
with her blonde fringe, big blue eyes
and round chubby cheeks.
Most simple image
Yet it captures a fragment
Of my purest soul.
One that dreams a dream
inside a wrapped up moment
For my heart only.
No amount of love
Could form an ointment to heal
These scars on my chest
Not even your words
Can unravel the stitches
That I had to sew.
Even voodoo dolls
Had never seen such torture
Inflicted at once.
For I must heal wounds
Because I know I'm afraid,
They may re-open.
And these fragile bones
Will crumble into mere dust
Lost in winds of love.
As she lays bare
''Tis not just her eyes
That sparkle amongst stars.
Her skin reflects candle lights
As amber skin mixes
With olive tones.
hourglass sand falls with my jaw
Drying my bottom lip with nerves
Yet excitement and lust.
Feather like touches tingle
Every sense of being alive
As our hearts murmur in time.
Palpitations even match rhythm
In this alchemists dream bond
That doesn't exist on the periodic table.
Our heats radiate screaming,
As your goosebumps on my fingertips
Tickle me back, teasing my nerves.
''Twas the night I finally realised
My heart could once fly again
And you were the one to make it.
Even a singular night felt like forever,
Grasping our chance, and gasping
With pure, destined passion.
Within torment, deciding if our jigsaw piece
is the right fit, we find serendipity.
For we're believers, day dreamers,
far seekers, and mind speakers.
We separate the gap
between positive and negative
For we are are the optimists
in this pessimistic world.
ill tell you a story about the place that we live in,
How people hate each other, never forgiving,
Frantically telling me, people judge on nationality,
But we fall quicker than, we can catch all the gravity,
Politicians are happy, they don't lose sleep,
they keep us in formation hopping the fence like sheep,
they cant swim in the ocean of truth its far too deep,
all this pain inside me, is bursting and hard to keep,
people judge in popularity instead of soul,
I look different at the world, its my own personal goal,
but I'm feeling and falling into ferocious fates that I feel,
When the clear glass in front, never gets revealed,
I'm feeling philosophical over analyse the world,
whilst it twirled and curled people around me just swirled,
even little girls are living no Polly or pearls,
No food, shelter, water, only young girls.
Hook (1) x1
I see people broken, and choking in the street,
I see woman hoping, trying to stand on two feet,
Children are hungry, and politicians don't lose sleep,
cos they Form us into lines, turn us all into sheep,
and then they take individualism from individuals,
I see it with both eyes, I'm chronicles of visuals,
Sending signals to my brain it always seems to tingle,
Because I put together jigsaws like pictures aren't a puzzle.
I see peoples necks just arched into phones
But when I was a child, we used to thrown stones,
Not stay at homes, when one roams he reaches his goals,
But I took a hold of my life and I used the controls,
So I snatched the sun just to bring in the light,
And I grabbed at the moon just to bring in the night,
And I swam this ocean just to bring in these waves,
and I surfed on the tremors hoping a soul that it saves,
I wanted to flip the world 360 cause its in me,
within me, magic tree, letting go of leaves we're free
Even in thickest storms never get tangled.
stand on our own, not fragile, keep it angled,
People use racism every day in the system,
risen to glisten my concoction of the serum,
Lets rise and make this one giant kingdom,
throw away restrictions, racism and division.
open your eyes can you think so freely? x4
Your clock hand keeps ticking, tick tock, tick tock,
We've broke the clock, and we've broken the lock,
to the secret garden of eve, as i weave and weave,
spinning straw into gold before your eyes, you wont believe,
threads of spun gold on my wheel like Rumpelstiltskin,
But I mark my life with a pin, Gemini twin,
I'm using my mind to send through these signals,
bars like rainbows should be sponsored by skittles,
Catullus RP too much pressure I form crystals,
these aren't just stories these are facts not scribbles,
I'm not trying to rap about money or weed,
and I'm not going to rap about pills, girls or speed,
People are killing and stinging instead of living,
instead of just giving you're a villain who keeps digging,
people with no talent make money brains absent,
you haven't got the minerals not a single fragment,
please find me a person who's heart wont worsen,
someone who's kind and someone who's never cursing,
practice for an audition to change the world I'm rehearsing,
bubbles keep on bursting, only kings are emerging.
Hook (2) x1
Currently we look at angles to win,
never biting the bullet moment or pin,
worlds turning and yearning I'm always learning,
I'm searching and surfing on waves that you seem to be churning,
pick me up don't put me down,
please try turn this frown around,
It's simplicity, trying ability with possibility,
vocabulary's increased I've extended flexibility.
The dusk fog reminds
Me of walks home after I
Had just been broken.
You caused the water
Drops like condensation, on
My dripping burnt skin.
Just to come back for
Another round into your
Heat-stroke and cold lies.
I had been frozen,
In place whilst burning, welding
Onto the embers.
Left in a heap and
Waiting for the next person,
To mould me again.
Currently we judge,
Looking at angles to win
Just to please your own mind.
We throw insults and we fight,
We ignite fuel to our fingers
Tapping away like it's a race for popularity.
The world spins and spins,
Yet nothing really changes
Because we just keep spinning.
But it's as if we have weaved
Ourselves into a ditch of
Despairing linear paths.
As we watch, we listen, we observe
And try to become something else,
Something we're not supposed to be.
Just to let everyone know
That you watch the same things,
That you do the same things.
But then after it all we realise
As we grow older and as we mature,
We merely did nothing for ourselves.
We just followed the same road,
We followed the same destiny
And we lose ourselves in our journey.
At the end of it all we start to notice
We have taken the wrong path,
And the other roads are too far away.
So we turn into the side-roads,
Which lead to nothing but plagued floors
Broken doors and empty souls.
Mobiles have taken love out of sex,
Generations have missed out
How it feels to actually be connected.
You make love and your phone rings,
People stop to answer like your moments
Aren't precious enough with loved ones.
We eat meals at restaurants
With our families and friends,
All I see is arched necks and fiery fingers.
I wish I was in a time when we spoke
To one another about our days,
Not about a video that has gone viral.
I wish that as I grow and my children
Will walk amongst the earth I have,
It won't suck them into inevitable fates.
I don't want them to be another
White sheep hopping the same fence,
Like the rest of this miserable world.
Systems have taken individualism
Out of individuals and get labelled weird,
They give us titles like "OCD, ADHD".
I'm not either, and I don't actually have
A label to my name, yet I feel I should
I feel why shouldn't I?
After all I like to think different,
I like to think one day we will see
The clear glass in front of us.
But most of all, I truly hope one day,
We can become a better world
Instead of repetition in characters.
If I wisp away
Into this humid night,
Whilst my sweat drips
With my honey and
Your anguished hollows.
And as these trees calmly
Blow in this muggy fall,
For when my legs can't clamber
These piercing cliff rocks,
And my knees tremble.
Because I fear, yet anticipate
My own emotions in misty
Wind that blows between us,
That will guide me into a pool
Of my own heart shed.
''Tis not your sensitive heart
My mind will whisper,
We're all a lover deep down
Yet I'm cursed with overthinking
Like a poetry puppet.
She is the music
And all of the joy,
I see her blossom
And unfold into the
Beautiful flower she is,
Yet her petals are clipped
With few wounds,
Where wounds in
the wild become
One rhythmic motion,
One perfect combination,
Her joy is a manifold nature
Even though my outer shell is unbreakable,
The structure inside me that was so hard
To build was finally complete,
Or at least that’s what I told myself.
Yet, my core is broken down and crumbling
as I slowly rot away and break,
I still feel every single piece of chipped off
Brick that I tried so hard to put up.
I see my walls falling despite my efforts
In this apocalyptic mess I call safety,
So I hide away, repairing myself
Piece by piece scared to ever love again.