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Ryan Holden Oct 2017
mark all my words
it's not absurd
to be deterred
from how I flirt,
if you prefer
lady, this stirred?
take this hand - dance with me my pearl,
deep breaths we twirl,
a voice unheard
unspoken birds
loose shoes, loose shirts,
loose dress, loose skirts,
and us poets
know which way - you would have preferred.
Just a quick silly write. Enjoy. 4-4-4-4-4-4-8-4-4-4-4-4-4-8.
Ryan Holden Dec 2017
I sit
I write
it's what helps me sleep at night
I think
too much
It's what ruins the best sight.

But if
I thought
of the reasons I struggle
if this
if that
I'm just asking for trouble.

You see
I know
I need to not overthink,
this lady
might leave quicker than I blink.
Ryan Holden Sep 2017
It was the coldest night
Since this bee brain could remember.
These frozen vignette windows
Reminded me I was still here,
The wind screeched through the
Tiny gap in the slightly open window,
Just enough to make my lights flicker.

I swallowed my whisky on the rocks and choked on my tongue in fear.

The air was sharp, cutting the breath from my lungs. Seeing my own breathe reminded me of the years I'd spent in wilderness.

I was sat with my ink and pen jotting my notes, reflecting my lapse in time,
thinking about what came to be and where I had arrived.

The peaceful yet sambre sound of the weather gave me shivers through my body,
"Somebody just walked over my grave"
I said to myself.

But nothing could beat the fear, nothing would let this heart stay inside my chest,
leaping out onto my page, smearing ink and blood spelling out "I see you".

And just as I looked into my wives makeup mirror, it swallowed the night into a wisp of wonders, soon to be captured once again.
I haven't been on for a while so I thought I'd write something different! Tried to capture an image. Enjoy :)
Ryan Holden May 2017
This affliction,
my enemy,
Vast pain,
Frosty end for me,
Agony undying truth,
Something incurable,
The undying hope
Something durable.

My loved ones,
Notice I'm weak,
She will notice
I'm brittle,
True love I seek,
My strength, very little.

Torn between truth,
Not the athlete from youth,
Working hour after hour,
Crippled my body,
A fragile skeleton,
I embody.

My grandkids,
Regardless if grandpa,
Cherishing moments,
In life,
I'll wisp away,
Still my wife.

Beautiful queen,
I've loved you,
Since I was eighteen.
An old poem I wrote about my grandad passing away. I went back and edited it a little but it was the second poem I wrote. So sorry if it's not great but it's close to my heart. I wrote it from his perspective to my grandma.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I know poetry
Made me age quicker as each
Line wrote are wrinkles.
Just a perspective. Haha.
Ryan Holden Apr 2017
I'm alone,
Nobody around to hear my soft cries,
I hope for hospitality,
All I receive is brutality,
Somebody must care,
I'm broken and it's not fair,
All I need is a caring hand,
I bury my head into the sand,
It will be easier that way,
Because nobody seemed to care yesterday nor today,

I'm a fraction away from insanity,
Crushed heart in need of help for vanity,
I beg for attention,
Yet I receive nothing but rejection.
Just something I wrote about people who suffer with depression. I wanted to express how they can feel, despite people showing they care, however, they will never truly know. The title represents how they're not alone "almost alone" but they believe they are!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Does your mouth
Lead you towards ease,
Like your mind blindly thinks.

Does your thought process
Consider or weigh options
Of passing weeks or months.

Do you feel remorse
Or sympathy as you cast
Spells of aspersions headed.

Do you even know
The reason why you chose
Me instead of the other options.

Do you even care
That you hurt me more,
Than you'll ever know.

But do I care enough
To explain how you
Wrongly accused me?

I guess we'll never know.
Just a quick write.
Ryan Holden Sep 2017
This world is so broke
The earth wrapped in smoke,
So I rapped just to cope
Throw glow to a soul,  
Gave birth to adapt to the rap then I show,
Embrace my worth to grow l, then I sew,
Puffing this smoke blow away the fake hope,
Chasing my dreams til my dreams come home,
Spitting venom every sentence from a tongue of deception,
I question their method of self protection,
Adding dimension to this world I'm cutting tension,
Need a new invention for a cure to this infection,
I'm punching through-a-void, empty noise destroys,
I'm clutching to annoy so sing a-pray-a-boys,
people roun' me acting koi, like false raid on Troy,
actuality boy, shine the pain hide the joy,
so when I look right in the mirror I know I see me,
again, I took flight trial and error my guarantee,
I live daydreams writing schemes to be alone,
wearing baggy jeans no clean t, no phone,
a drone, figurines no family tree tired to roam,
singular road, my brains so fuzzy I'm bout to implode,
I'm the youngen in the runnin out gunnin,
I'm the one that's becoming too cunning,
I see your bluffing but your mind is numbing,
fallen in the system, it's your homecoming,
I didn't edit the lines, grammar doesn't count in rap ;). I decided to preach it through music. This is a verse I'm rapping on a collaboration with 2 American friends. The audio link will be up soon :). Hope you like my rhyme schemes ;)
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Love is a balloon, One tiny
little pin ***** and all of the
Filled love that has been blown,
Will Burst into absolute nothing.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
It's when in presence
My heart gallops fast horses
On these lengthy tracks,
You draw me in close
I smell the sweet aroma
Bearing on senses,
I can't feel your touch
But I know it draws so near
I pull you closely,
Nibbling your ear
Tasting your skin on my tongue,
Your body tingles I can
Feel protuberance
Forms from your heart as you push
Against my warm chest,
As our lips sow stories of
Devotion with fire,
We edge into a
Never ending spiral of
Painted encore tales
And constant passionate dreams
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
Kiss me in the dark
feel the touch of my beating
heart up against yours
Ryan Holden May 2017
They say beauty is from within,
But I fell in love,
With every single fragment
Of air you breathed
Towards my heart.
Just a quick write :)
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Yellow and black stripes,
Vibrating ear drums, buzzing
Around my garden.
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
We should dream for love
It’s all we can give,
Pure as a white dove
It’s for all to live,
In heaven or earth
We should all forgive,
Imagine from ones birth,
To be taught like this.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
I may be bitten
Once, but my skin grows thicker
With each single bite.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
You bottled your heart
Inside your gut, but then it
Festered and rotted.

Only to catch a
Single drop on my tongue I
Knew you had gone off.

I stopped checking the
Expiry dates, almost like
I grew accustomed.

To knowing I can
Never find a woman, who
Quenches my loves thirst.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
Pointed ears hop
Across the field, eating grass
Showing fluffy tails.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
Torch embers fall down,
Descending into dust, we
Get lost in darkness
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
''Twas her smile that let
My butterflies tickle my
Gut, to say "you fell"
Ryan Holden Aug 2018
Eyes that ****** my tongue,
A smile that captures the most
Wonderful feeling.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Don't leave yet, my bones
Already miss you like they
Lack in calcium.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Paint these words onto
A canvas, so you can see
It drips devotion.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
I once wondered how it truly felt
to meet fate, to see cards that are dealt,
Inside deep down I know,
that matter how long
no matter how I show,
My love is forever
it will expand and grow,
and you will open up
regardless of before,
I need you by my side
in my heart I adore.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I walk listening to music
Inside my own tranquility,
Searching these lonely
Yet full streets,
Like a ghost town
For the sociable,
Attention is directed
Toward phone screens,
So we talk about the unspeakable
Silence at an awkward occasion.

We try filling the gaps that we lost,
The cracks that had been opened,
We seclude our souls in this
Marvellous giving world,
We reach for arms but
Can never seem to grab them,
We beg for help but can't seem
To give our own emptiness.

For all could be filling our gaps
Like we need to be fixed,
The falling trees and lives
Match those of sticks and stone,
Sticks resemble our innocence
Whilst stone indicate our hard
Relentless ways to hurt one another.

But I continue to stay in my own
Tranquil world of loneliness,
Because I've grown accustomed
To the curtains I can draw
So easily shut,
I've grown accustomed
To accepting that we will never
Be caring souls anymore.
Modern society.
Ryan Holden Jul 2018
If you are here
To stay, cement yourself in
Never fade away.
Ryan Holden Sep 2018
Chaos created,
The wonderful effect, of
Happier moments.
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
Golden elegance
subtly peeks over grass
With spying brown quartz.
Ryan Holden Sep 2018
Choose to be happy,
And someday your sorrows will
Learn to adapt too.
Ryan Holden Apr 2017
Her walls are
I throw rocks, stones and catapult boulders,
I chisel away through nooks and crannies trying to find a weakness,
I hit it over and over with a sledgehammer,
Yet no matter how hard I hit the wall
I cannot knock it down,
I have merely chipped my way into her heart.
A story about 2 people who are in love, yet one being an open book the other being closed.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Punching through a hollow void,
Quickly grabbing a falling boxed heirloom,
Just touching your finger tips,
Watching it fall into eternal chasm.

Plunging into depths searching,
To find treasure that's empty,
In an elegant wooden shell,
Diving to surface, notions stung,
Holding a wooden box of drained love.
It's about those closed book styles of people!
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Keep this hand close to
Yours, you will never know when,
It stops you falling.
Ryan Holden May 2017
My mind begins to whisper and speak,
Bizarre stories, grotesque honesty,
"It's only true love you ever seek"
Tearing myself apart constantly.

When illusions always perceive me,
My mind stays forever incomplete,
If small details were so plain to see,
Intercepting your cold hearted feet.
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
Act oblivious
to the icy ways you snap,
I'll give the same back.
If you treat people a bad way, don't expect much back!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Tasting your skin
Whilst you scratch my thirst,
A flavour into the uncharted,
Flashing lights on our taste buds
As we fall into one another's worlds,
Our legs intertwine like vines,
Our breaths match simultaneously,
You raise your back like you're
Stretching your senses into my soul,
I separate you into two dimensions
And you still come back
For another whole universe
To explore.
Ryan Holden Apr 2018
I can’t repaint the start
Nor it’s tenderness
To understand
The complexity
Of it’s cottons -
But know I am soft,
And I will always
Keep your heart
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Hold her gently whilst she sleeps
For the hurricanes she dreams
And the nightmares she has,
Will never come to fruition
If you make sure your hand
Is not far from her own.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I dream of my childhood freedom
When my fragile innocent bones,
Would run through overgrown fields
Of daffodils in summer sun.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Till the bottom of
This ocean is discovered
No love is as deep
Ryan Holden Jul 2017
Currently we judge,
Looking at angles to win
Just to please your own mind.

We throw insults and we fight,
We ignite fuel to our fingers
Tapping away like it's a race for popularity.

The world spins and spins,
Yet nothing really changes
Because we just keep spinning.

But it's as if we have weaved
Ourselves into a ditch of
Despairing linear paths.

As we watch, we listen, we observe
And try to become something else,
Something we're not supposed to be.

Just to let everyone know
That you watch the same things,
That you do the same things.

But then after it all we realise
As we grow older and as we mature,
We merely did nothing for ourselves.

We just followed the same road,
We followed the same destiny
And we lose ourselves in our journey.

At the end of it all we start to notice
We have taken the wrong path,
And the other roads are too far away.

So we turn into the side-roads,
Which lead to nothing but plagued floors
Broken doors and empty souls.

Mobiles have taken love out of ***,
Generations have missed out
How it feels to actually be connected.

You make love and your phone rings,
People stop to answer like your moments
Aren't precious enough with loved ones.

We eat meals at restaurants
With our families and friends,
All I see is arched necks and fiery fingers.

I wish I was in a time when we spoke
To one another about our days,
Not about a video that has gone viral.

I wish that as I grow and my children
Will walk amongst the earth I have,
It won't **** them into inevitable fates.

I don't want them to be another
White sheep hopping the same fence,
Like the rest of this miserable world.

Systems have taken individualism
Out of individuals and get labelled weird,
They give us titles like "OCD, ADHD".

I'm not either, and I don't actually have
A label to my name, yet I feel I should
I feel why shouldn't I?

After all I like to think different,
I like to think one day we will see
The clear glass in front of us.

But most of all, I truly hope one day,
We can become a better world
Instead of repetition in characters.
Just some quick thoughts I had on my brain. But this type of thing doesn't get spoken about enough. This may "offend" some, but I only speak in truths. My heart can only love so much until it gets stretched beyond its limit.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
1st verse
ill tell you a story about the place that we live in,
How people hate each other, never forgiving,
Frantically telling me, people judge on nationality,
But we fall quicker than, we can catch all the gravity,
Politicians are happy, they don't lose sleep,
they keep us in formation hopping the fence like sheep,
they cant swim in the ocean of truth its far too deep,
all this pain inside me, is bursting and hard to keep,
people judge in popularity instead of soul,
I look different at the world, its my own personal goal,
but I'm feeling and falling into ferocious fates that I feel,
When the clear glass in front, never gets revealed,
I'm feeling philosophical over analyse the world,
whilst it twirled and curled people around me just swirled,
even little girls are living no Polly or pearls,
No food, shelter, water, only young girls.

Hook (1) x1
I see people broken, and choking in the street,
I see woman hoping, trying to stand on two feet,
Children are hungry, and politicians don't lose sleep,
cos they Form us into lines, turn us all into sheep,
and then they take individualism from individuals,
I see it with both eyes, I'm chronicles of visuals,
Sending signals to my brain it always seems to tingle,
Because I put together jigsaws like pictures aren't a puzzle.

2nd verse
I see peoples necks just arched into phones
But when I was a child, we used to thrown stones,
Not stay at homes, when one roams he reaches his goals,
But I took a hold of my life and I used the controls,
So I snatched the sun just to bring in the light,
And I grabbed at the moon just to bring in the night,
And I swam this ocean just to bring in these waves,
and I surfed on the tremors hoping a soul that it saves,
I wanted to flip the world 360 cause its in me,
within me, magic tree, letting go of leaves we're free
Even in thickest storms never get tangled.
stand on our own, not fragile, keep it angled,
People use racism every day in the system,
risen to glisten my concoction of the serum,
Lets rise and make this one giant kingdom,
throw away restrictions, racism and division.

Hook(1) x1

open your eyes can you think so freely? x4

3rd verse
Your clock hand keeps ticking, tick tock, tick tock,
We've broke the clock, and we've broken the lock,
to the secret garden of eve, as i weave and weave,
spinning straw into gold before your eyes, you wont believe,
threads of spun gold on my wheel like Rumpelstiltskin,
But I mark my life with a pin, Gemini twin,
I'm using my mind to send through these signals,
bars like rainbows should be sponsored by skittles,
Catullus RP too much pressure I form crystals,
these aren't just stories these are facts not scribbles,
I'm not trying to rap about money or ****,
and I'm not going to rap about pills, girls or speed,
People are killing and stinging instead of living,
instead of just giving you're a villain who keeps digging,
people with no talent make money brains absent,
you haven't got the minerals not a single fragment,
please find me a person who's heart wont worsen,
someone who's kind and someone who's never cursing,
practice for an audition to change the world I'm rehearsing,
bubbles keep on bursting, only kings are emerging.

Hook (2) x1
Currently we look at angles to win,
never biting the bullet moment or pin,
worlds turning and yearning I'm always learning,
I'm searching and surfing on waves that you seem to be churning,
pick me up don't put me down,
please try turn this frown around,
It's simplicity, trying ability with possibility,
vocabulary's increased I've extended flexibility.
I wrote this last night after writing "deeper perspectives" I wanted to make a rap. Still not finished it needs a lot of editing :) - I wanted it to be serious/play on words so some parts aren't so serious but it breaks it down when you rap it :)

Should get my new microphone soon so quality is going to be better - just a little delayed in the mail!
Ryan Holden May 2017
Hold my hand, as I hold your breath,
Comforting my soul,
Pull me closer, conquer peninsula,
I've missed you, and I can't bare,
The thought of you going,
Back to the conflict filled province,
So please don't leave,
You've only just arrived,
My heart is absence in yours,
And this can't go on any longer,
But only,
Because of the conflict filled province,
When you depart,
Kiss me goodbye, and hold me me in memory,
As it may be our last.
a poem about a woman saying goodbye to her husband who's going back to war.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
"You look fine to me"
The problem with depression,
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
You stole the breath
That was meant for you,
You stole the heart
That I kept hidden.

Aligned paths, cast in stone,
Breath fire, peninsula,
Ignition to my heart
Longed cold snaps melt away.

You guided our journey
And you had it all figured out,
You held my heart in hand
And you merged it with yours.

Now we both walk the same path
That we were destined to do,
Now that my heart is yours,
You have me, and I have you.
Love I've acquired. Thought I'd share!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Destiny will guide our paths,
Into a land of forever.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
This Mental torture is like a flame on thick ice,
just not enough to melt through my core
yet just enough to leave a mark.


I can't tell myself -
what should this wandering mind do?
Because I keep telling myself,
what will this wandering mind do?

My arms reached around you
sweeping you up like a cave.


My grasp was loose,
as was the howling winds that blew
the air from my sails, plummeting me,
into a nearby whirlpool of blanked out, blocked emotions.

As the course is set and our paths align,
no matter how much paddeling I did. Attempting to steer myself to the safety of the shores but missing it by my fingertips.

I was merely brought back into your arms
despite my previous attempts
to pull you in closer and losing
You to a wrong turn.


As the second wind hits our sails
we got lost at sea - never to see the shoreline again.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
When I took your hand
I sunk into the unknown,
but swam with dolphins.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
Dolphins skip over
The ocean surface catching
wind between wet fins.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Spare me excuses,
These aren't falls they are bruises,
Wrong boy she chooses.

Words hurt like fists do,
Apart from words remain scars
Painfully longer.
I'm writing a song on domestic violence, so thought I'd put a few Haikus on.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Even when I blink
It hurts knowing that moments
are taken away.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
As my eyes close shut
I already see fear of
Losing you in dreams
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