The road I was placed on was ***** and dark
No human kindness, not even a spark

The monsters are always pursuing
They are my lifes undoing

So now I'm trying to fly with out wings
Without a voice I'm trying to sing

Those monsters wont leave me alone
Oh, what horrors to me they've shown

I wish for someone that can console me
When the putrid memories start flowing

I wish for someone to hold me tight
When I'm in the middle of the fight

But monsters are all that have a hold
It's left me bone tired and cold

How useless to wish upon a falling star
That on the ground only leaves another scar

Standing in the shower with my head against the wall
Letting the scalding water fall

Wishing it could wash away my skin
Wishing it could wash away his sins

Maybe when my bruises heal
My soul will once again, begain to feel

It looks so fragile with all it's holes
Where the monsters took and stole

But it's sewed with spiders threads
So it's as strong as a spider's webs

There's really nothing left to say
Accept that maybe one of these days
I'm gonna be ok

So ****** up I'm just roaming
I don't even know what driction I'm going

Trying so desperately to hold on
But I'm feeling to much like a pawn

When these little pills call my name
Again I am reclaimed

It seems I may have took to many
My world is spinning

I'm trying to enjoy the ride
But I feel the slipping I feel the slide

My head is spinning, I can't walk
I close my eyes and welcome the dark

I'm watch my lifes slide show once again
I can see way I'm standing on the rim

Going down and I can't swim
So I open my mouth and let more of those sweet pills in

I'll lay here and see where they take me this time
I'm just looking for the sublime

I'm playing my dangers game again of standing on the ledge
Watch me balance on the knives edge

This way if I fall it's not my fault
In the call of the drugs I was caught
My insides are all ready in a rot
So death is realy what is sought

But that's my secret don't tell a soul
So I balance on the edge to see which way I go
I'll push the limit a few more pills
A twisted way to get some thrills
I hear the call
A few more
I'm ready
For the
Fall

Sifting through the ashes of my life
Trying hard to find something thats went right
I search and look, **** and poke
It's begaining to look like my life was a joke

How could this be
I tried so hard just to be me
I look back on my time line
On me was committed many a crime
It changed me to a sad little being
But I still managed to keep on singing

But it didn't seem to be enough
Now life is calling my bluff
I'm sitting here with so much rust
Feeling mighty hollow, nothing but crust
So I'm just gonna sit right down
And in the ashes of my life I'll just drown

In the land of Gods and Monsters I am a fallen angel living in the garden of evil
Every creature there is ruled by needs that are primeval
With broken wings, broken heart, broken life
Living on the edge of a knife
One wrong step will be my last
Long ago my die was cast
Every night the monsters attack
Of my soul they make a snack
The Gods look on and laugh and point
I cry, I plead, but they will never anoint
I'm lost, I'm scared, but I'm trapped I can go no where
And there is nobody that loves or cares
And of all the wrong to me that's been done
Being left all alone is the most tragic one

A few times in life I've been smitten
By the feelings of love I've been bitten
But cold is love
Like in winter a hand that lost it's glove
It's touch can leave you frozen
A heart eaten away by corrosion
It will make any situation a little more dire
Making you feel a little more expired

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Love set's your heart on fire
Giving you all kinds of desire
Only for it to turn the tables
For seemingly it is just a fable
It's really not real
All those feelings you feel
They were nothing but a mirage
Giving you a cardiac massage

Why is love so cruel
Two people in a dual
Leaving you the fool
Feeling just like a ghoul

Till that inevitable day
Love takes it all away
You plummet from the sky
Till you're laying in the wry
Love so skillfully fleeces
As you cut yourself to pieces
Trying to recover your shattered parts
Tiny slivers of a pulverized heart

Walking on a sheet of glass
Each step brings spider web cracks
How much longer will it hold
Just how far will it let me go
Some days I tread lightly
Hoping it will crack just slightly
But days like today I jump
Ready to test out my luck
Really hoping it will shatter
So on the rocks below I splatter
But of course it held
So I'll just stand and yell
Till someone hears my cry
And rescues me form the sky
And my growing wish to die

The rain is pouring down
Those poor worms are sure to drown
They're looking for a dry spot to be found

They crawl to that one small spot of concrete
They found what they seek
The birds are waiting with sharpened beaks

To the birds it's a rain fueled feast
With death the worms they greet
Like me, the worms are just ment to feed the beast

You carry with you a blackened sky
Not everyone can see it, but it's in your eyes
It's in the very heart of your being
I hear the sorrowful song your singing
You hide it well
Your personal hell
But I have my own, I can tell
I can feel your pain's tide ebb and swell
It threatens to pull you under
I too hear that thunder
We are creatures connected by darkness
The beast of Hell have marked us
You try to hide this from the world
As your life spirals and whirls
It's exhausting, I know for a fact
For everday your taken aback
Living life under that blackened sky
You can hide it, except from your eyes

I look back on years gone by
Trying to figure out the how and why
How we clung to each other trying to easy the pain
We clung to each other in the cold November rain
The rains have come around again this year
All alone I'm standing here
Head held down
As this cold *** rain splatters on the ground
Making puddles at my feet
As I travel down this dead end street
The cold penetrates my bones
For your not here I'm all alone
Your memories can't keep me warm
Only images of you in my mind are formed
They where desperate times for you and me
But looking back I can clearly see
We where never ment to be
I was only a life raft in your troubled sea
I wish I'd known then I was just your crutch
That I didn't mean that much
For now the only sound that resounds
In this frozen heart of mine, is this cold November rain falling down

You act as if you hadn't a clue
You act as if I hadn't talked to you
You act as if I hadn't tried till in the face I was blue

I did, I tried
I did, but you only sighed
I did,rivers of tears I cried

Why are you such a *******
Why is your agony dispread
Why did you not listen and ended up mislead

I beckoned you to come near
I beckoned you so I could make it clear
I beckoned you but you only looked at me with that sneer

So I let you do it your own way
So I let you become the prey
So I let you crumble in just mere days

Now i'll just set and watch
Now I'll just set while all of it you botch
Now I'll just set as you make another notch

If only you had not just listened but heard
If only you hadn't let things get so blurred
If only you hadn't acted so absurd

I sat and I watched you expire
I sat and I watched as your situation got dire
I sat and I watched as you set yourself on fire

Spring is all dressed up in her flowered gown
Upon her leafy green head set's a splendid sun lit crown
Her lips are the brightest cardinal red
Winter seen her coming and hastily fled
Animals wake from their long sleep, waiting on her to see
Her eyes are as deep and blue as the brilliant sea
On her finger's resides diamonds of dew
Spreading through the sky, rainbow hues
She stretches fourth her eager hand
Her green thumb touching every piece of land
As the tears run down her face
Bringing life once more with grace

Can you hear them whispering
There inside my brain
Can you hear them tinkering
Trying to shake lose what is sane
Can you hear them Clamouring
There inside my mind
Can you hear them favouring
With sadness all they find
Can you hear them plotting
There inside my cranium
Can you hear them knotting
All my thoughts till thier alien
Can you hear them screaming
There inside my brain
Can you hear them scheming
They are driving me insane


The voices here inside my skull
Are always chattering, never a lull
They are bent on my destruction
At first it was a sweet seduction
Now it's a roaring wave
Trying my head to cave
I can hear them as plain as day
Can you hear them what they say
Those voices in my head
All them yelling, one thing said
They only want me dead

The memory of what he did brought even more memories to mind
Slow at first but picking up speed, it's all starting to unwind
I don't want to look, I don't want to find
But when I close my eyes there they are right behind

It's been almost a year, but all these thoughts have come rushing in
Because it is mushroom season again
The woods I would have to go within
I always loved to romp about out there,but now thoughts twist and bend
Losing my sanctuary was the greatest sin

Dragging me out to my beautiful wood, so I could be his prey
The feel of the freash damp earth under foot, birds chirping in the trees, I will remember it ALL till my dying day

My hands tied behind my back, it would be easier for him that way
He pushed me to my knees, invading me from behind just like my step daddy did so a ****** I'd stay
He knew it would bring back those memories of my yesterday's

With that veil evil deed, so many things got lost
My woods, singing birds, the river's bend, what a cost
No more fishing, no more camping, no place to take off my disguise
No sanctuary to run to, all of this I'm starting to realize

He was an intelligently crazy
He was destroy the last place that was my safety
He was taking my last bit of joy I could get
He was very cunning in that, I'll have to admit

He found away to continue to bring me agony
After all these years he couldn't just let me be
He made my tormented life worse by many degrees
So now standing at the edge of the woods I freeze

He took my place
To feel warm and safe
New and catastrophic agony is now a cold fire inside
There is no place to hide
It's left me fighting hard not to end it all and die

Take away the pain
Take away the strain
Just what would remain

I am held together with the struggle
I am held together because of all I juggle

I am nothing but agony
I am nothing but depravity
I am nothing but blasphemy

Question's on my mind weigh
If you could take that away
Do it right here today

Would I cease to exist
Would I still be here in the midst
Would I be missed

For I am nothing but self loathing, agony, and pain
If it could magically be taken away, would anything remain

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

I am the dragon, I am the fire
Hop a stride, I'll take you higher
I am the ice, I am the spike
Making you feel all childlike
I am the needle, I am the vain
Look real close it's all the same
I am the rock, I am the crack
If you leave, I'll take you back
I am the tar, I am the lid
Close your eyes, I'm where you hid
I am the snow, I am the powder
Widen your eyes, listen louder

I am that fly upon your wall
The one you never seen at all
I watched you, let you fall
Now upon your belly........crawl

I have a lot of pain
It weighs heavy on my brain
I think you know
I think it shows
You touch my thigh,"what is that"
"Oh it's nothing just a fight with the cat"
You sadly shake you head
You know I don't have one, you left it unsaid

We where casual friends that turned into casual lovers
I'm so happy with you under my covers
We leave those three words alone
Knowing they **** any relationship sown
We keep our feeling hidden
Those three words we both decided was forbidden

But we're together every weekend
We pretend we're only friends
But everyone sees what we are becoming
But from those feelings we are running
For without the heart involved
We won't get hurt, that is our resolve

That way my pain on you won't weigh
You can look the other way
My darkness can't touch you
You can over look the things I do
Without those words to bind us to each other
My sadness won't smother

Yep, this relationship is perfect
There is nothing of each other we have to except
If it ends, it simply ends
There will be no heart to mend
Just memories of fun times
Spent under the covers, a taste of the sublime

There was a little girl plunged into the dark
The future for her was very stark
She never knew unconditional love
For her it was always push and shove
It was no surprise
She picked a man that was good with lies
With that choice her darkness increased
Beaten and caged, no release
She finally broke lose with young intow
Everything seemed so out of control


She finished raising her brood
All alone she stood
Protecting them from all the men
And all their sin
Or so she thought, but evil raised it's head from within
Her mom had married a bad man again
And step grandpa got her child
Her only son, that ******* *******

The drarkness has never left her side
Her heart grew chide
And there still is not a day she hasn't cried

Of course she's had day's of beauty and laughter
Those day's had to be chased after
These days are quite frail
And easily derailed
They are seen through the vail
That comes in diffrent shades of gray
But you see it never goes away

And days like today it's dark as a moon less night
Even with the sun shining bright
One small act could turn this around
But cruelty is still all she's found
So even with most of her life lived
She still in her room can be found..... hid
With shades pulled tight
To let in no light
For the dark is all she's known
So now the dark she calls home

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

The earth is the devils playground
Fear He loves to spread all around
On friday the 13th He turned it lose on France
He let his minions do their dance
There is no way of stoping him
He does whatever he wants on a whim
He minions number in the millions
Never knowing which ones they are, they look like civilians
The devil entices them to blow themselfs up
He whispers lies, "you'll be drinking from that heavenly cup"
The devil knows there will be more
Trillions of them wanting to settle the score
All we can do is pray to a callous God, who long ago quit listening to our cries
Us never knowing why
So we bury our dead
Try to comfort ourselves with something inspirational said
As we watch the earth turning red

Get me out of here I'm posed to run
Muscles as tense as a rubber band strung
In the middle of this horde of people, I'm just done

My mind is racing, plot my best chance at escape
Eyes darting and seeking, my emotions are being *****
Like nails across a chalkboard being scraped

Please let me through, let me go
This raising feeling of terror, you just don't know
I must be released before I put on a spastic show

I'm trying to contain these feelings
You have no idea with what I am dealing
Suffocation is what I am concealing

Let me out , let me run, let me be
The panic is rising in me
Please, oh please, I'll even plea

Leave the groceries in the cart
Burst through the doors, thats just the start
Trying not to sprint though the lot

Safely inside my vehicle, doors locked
These emotions seek me out, I'm stalked
if I'd stayed in there any longer, they would've been outlining me in chalk

Self mutilation
Tattooed invitation
Thoughts confused
A razors used
Skin engraved
Scars won't fade
Mind unwind
Blood divine

Love is free
It will only cost you...
Everything

The river of time keeps on flowing
I'm standing here in the knowing
All things will pass and fall away
As we flow from day to day

But the memories seem to remain
Be it happy ones, or the ones that torture our brain

Be it the rivers smooth ride
Or around the bend where rapids hide
To stay in the boat is the greatest challenge
For sometimes things become so unbalanced

Sometimes we are thrown overbord
Most of the time not of our own accord
As we try to keep our heads above the waves motion
Trying not to drown in all the heavy emotion

Sometimes all we can do is hold on to the boat and get dragged along
Other times we're firmly planted dry and warm in the boat singing our hearts song

But whatever waters we transverse
We all know time will do it's worse
It's not the trails we will be judged by
Or even how much we cry
We'll be judged by how we responded to the storm
What eventually becomes the norm

How time changes us inside
If we get angry, spiteful and mean, or if a heart is opened and we try
To help our fellow man
To lean on each other so we both can stand

So try to enjoy the river of times flow
Sitting there watching through the glass the sand steadily go

Out in the woods I took a stroll
But the trial was getting mighty droll
So off into

Little boy blue, for you I blow the horn
I wish you was just lost amongst the corn
But the monster came and snatched your hand
Lead you off to an angry foreign land
I can see you, but can't touch your frozen heart
You was such a loving child at the start
But my little boy has grown into an angry man
Now in this empty field I stand
A trillion tears I've cried for you
Of the loss of my little boy blue
Who's eye's use to look up to me with love
You are my only son sent from above
But now you've gone into the void
Your innocence and ability to love destroyed

Make the cut, make it deep make it wide
There's nothing left, nothing to hide
Let all that's in me come outside

**** this life
**** this strife
**** everything that's rife

Give me the gun, I'll plant the bullet
In the head or in the gullet
Triggers stiff, but I'll still pull it

**** this life
**** this strife
**** everything that's rife

Theres no mercy on the edge of the blade
Look at the mess this life has made
All my dreams have been mislaid

**** this life
**** this strife
**** everything that's rife

I'm so lonely, in this hell
The darkness has me under it's spell
Can't you hear the toll of the bell

**** this life
**** this strife
**** everything that's rife

For this darkness I don't need to spread
So I'll just lay here in my bed
Watching the sheets trun red

Why did you want to hurt me again
Why do you want to twist that knife in
Your words cut worse than any knife
And I'm the reason for your strife

I swear I did the best I could
I thought I was proticting you like I should
I'm sorry I didn't know
But I'd ask you everytime you would go
But your answer was always no

But I know little kids can be frightened
And I'm sure that noose he tightened
And I don't blame you for hating me
For I am mom you see
I was supposed to protect you from the monsters
But I didn't know it would be my secound step father

I didn't know my mom would marry a another one like the first
This nightmare was the worst
I just wish you could see
I tried my very best to be
The mother you could always depend on
But now your gone

You hate me for what was done
But I want you to know if I'd had a gun
He could of never hurt anyone
And tho you hate me I'll love you always
I'm mom and I'm to blame anyways

I'm fighting hard for a reason to stay
I'm trying hard my demons to slay
But my swords are all broken, turned to rust
I'm afraid I'm all hollow, I'm but a crust
I'm striving to see the light, in this inky thick darkness
But to my screams and pleas, only the demons harkens

Where is my guardian angel
I'm in danger
Where is my knight in shining armor
I can't find a safe harbor
Where is my sweet dear friend
I'm afraid it's close to the end

I'm trying to save myself, it's not working
I'm trying hard, I'm not shirking

I need someone to care, I need a helping hand
Before my hourglass runs out of sand
I'm running out of time
Worthless is this life of mine

I pick up my razor, I put it back down
Like a tethered race horse, I'm pacing around
My pain is overwhelming
It just keeps swelling
I could slice it away
That's the direction I sway
Thin little lines all in a row
Just to let all the pain go
I need the sweet release
It'll come with such ease
I'm ready for the blow
The warm liquid flow
Please forgive me
Please don't look, don't see
I was to weak
The blade I seek

Throw your sticks and stones
I've been in this place before
I know how it goes

You lied and used all of me you could
I knew you where lying, but it felt so good

I kept my secrets and mystery
You just became my living fantasy

Someone to make belive with
I know your loves a myth

I'll just play along
I know your song

I'll just pretend
Until it reaches it's inevitable end

My life has been overwhelming to say the lest
I'm sure ready for deaths sweet release
The sorrow that has filled my cup
Has burst over and swallowed me up
Now in the belly of the beast
Waiting for deaths release
Drowning in all this bile
As problems just pile
Afraid to see one more day
Afraid of all that's coming my way
I want to close my eyes, never to open
I can't help it my mind is broken
My spirit is crushed
My life doesn't mean much
I pray for release
God can do that for me at lest

Stop
Drop
And roll
This ***** is on fire, she's out of controll
Don't try to follow, you'll get lost in the flow
Like a rollercoaster she'll take you to the top
A hesitant stop
As you prepare for the drop
Then the ultimate  roll
As she drops you in the hole
Where only the darkness dares to go
What is her goal
Is it to steal your soul

Hell no
She just wants to show
What it's like
On the tip of the spike
What it is to live her life
She'll give you the rhythm
Of what she's been given
She'll give you the rhyme
Of a life lived out of time
She'll show you the holes
Within her soul
Where the monsters stole
What happens when only agony grows

Stop
Drop
And roll
It's the only way to go
When you've turned to stone
Because every cut is to the bone
In her mind only her demons roam
Everyday is a fright
Everyday is a fight
So hold on tight
It's a ride for your life

Found my favorite razor just the other day
I have a feeling it will soon come into play
As anxiety, agony, and depression on me heavily weigh

I have a wicked mind with ugly thoughts
Belive me when I say, I know the cost
But I keep thinking of all I lost

Happiness and beauty, was replaced with treachery and scars
All that I have lived through has left me marred
Now I am nothing more than flaws

So again I'll ride the crimson tide
Cut it all out nothing left to hide
I'll let it flow, enjoy the ride

I'm sinking fast, no hand to hold
Isn't that always how the story goes
Getting knocked down, blow after blow

No need to get up this time I see
Life's agony wont let me be
So I'm just gonna lay there and bleed

Till there is nothing left
Let my soul be swept
Into the great unknown, death I totally accept

True love

An angel landed by my side
He spread his wings open wide
"Come here my child I'll let you hide"

"Come here I will protect
From all that would effect
I will not let any of that affect"

"You've been beaten, you've been bruised
You've been mislead, you've been used
Your past is misconstrued"

"I am your guardian angel, I am your sword
For you have been given to me, I am your ward
Sent to save you from the hoards"

"Of demons ment to do you in
They've toyed with you with their every whim
You have no need to suffer anymore within you skin"

I guess he thought I would run to him
But my anger towards this Angel was filled to the brim
He took to long to save me, now I'm standing on the rim

"Where was you, my sword wielding Angel for all those years
I was left to perish among my agony and fears
You showing up now, just grinds my gears"

I guess he was expecting me to be nice
I guess he didn't see my knife
Or he would of taken flight
I furiously cut he's wings off
Then I stood there and scoffed
"Now you will see
How it is to be
Stuck just like me"
The look on his face was priceless
I had taken away he's devices
Of soaring above the muck and the mire
Now in this demon ravaged land, with me he could expire

You make happiness look so easy to achieve
It almost makes me believe
That there might be Something more for me
But we where dealt different cards
My problems fiercely followed and bombard
In this harsh game called life
I was dealt from the straight blade knife

Human monster's never claimed you in your youth
Your parents love was only there to sooth
A warm family and many friends
Always greeted you with warm hugs and grins
You never knew loss, only wins
You never seen the circling of shark fins

Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge your happy life
I'm glad the universe with you had no gripe
I only ask you don't judge where I stand
For human monsters have always had my hand
Dragging me into their agonizing lands
Till I was foever stuck in depressions quicksand

I would just like for you to acknowledge my pain is real
I'm not feeling sorry for myself, this darkness is sealed
It's not make belive in my head, it's the scars on my heart, in my memories, on my skin
The monsters keep coming there is no end

We where delt from diffrent decks
We are nothing but universal specks
You were dealt better cards
Mine from the start was marred
I don't judge or envy you
I don't want sympathy, all I ask is you give me the respect I'm due

Have these feeling and they're all wrong
No sleep again all night long

Don't mind the blood splattered on the walls
Or on the floor, from my hand where it falls

It's nothing really just the same old song
My demons just wanted me to sing along

She was crawling inside her little world, hoping to hide
Her world and her emotions would turn on a dime
She tried again time after time
Hoping to find away across the widening divide
Over the knife sharp rocks of her life, she couldn't climb
It was her scars that cry, she was nothing more than a mime
Being thrown again into the abyss, it was all war crimes
Now she just laid there given up, nothing rhymes

To the left or to the right
Do we become a beacon or do we become a blight
Do we glow dim or do we glow bright
Do we run or do we fight
Do we smolder or do we ignite
Do we become rude, or do we become polite
Do we starve or do we take a bite
Do we keep quiet or do we write

I got your lovely flowers today
I watched as you knelt and swept the leaves away
I watched you cry as you laid them down
You stayed knelt there on the ground
For awail your soft crying was the only sound

Then you started talking, telling me you was sorry
But I didn't need your apology
I understood you couldn't come around more often
I loved when you found the time to stop in
It's ok we didn't spend more time togeather, life got in the way
I still love you even now, today

Don't want your tears
I know the future you fear
You think with the passing years
That I wont be near
But I promise my child, I will be
Just look you'll see

I'll be in the wind that moves the hair from your face
I'll be the flame that warms you in the fireplace
I'll be the rain that kisses your lips
I'll be the light when the darkness grips
I'll be that soft whisper in your ear
I'll do all I can to let you know I'm near
When your sad with eyes cast down
I'll leave you feathers and pennies to be found

My child you don't need to leave your flowers
Or to set here and cry and cower
For all that remains in the grave is my bones
I'm everywhere you roam
So dry your eyes my sweet child, lets go home

People can you tell me why
When commercials come on of abused animals you cry
But for our children not one word of them is mentioned
Of how they are forced to live with no love in filthy conditions
Thier lost little souls are tossed aside like garbage
They are ***** tired and starving
You cry for the poor little animals
While human monsters eat our children's fragile souls like cannibals

Here I stand at the edge of the woods, hands trembling
At the thought of entering
How am I gonna do this
My sanctuary I miss

But it was taken away
One evil dark day
Once what brought me joy
Now seems to destroy
No longer happy memories
Me in his clutch is all I see

Please my friend take my hand and lead me
For the images he left are beastly
Hold me tight while I grive
For his dark deeds seethe
His putrid touch I still feel
It's to much, to real

I want my sanctuary back
I don't want this beautiful place to turn black
I want to hear the nightingale's song again
Watch the fish in the creeks swim
Watch the breeze
Play about the tree's
I want to once again sit quietly
Seeing the deer walk about so skittishly

Please my friend hold me tight
So these thoughts of his invasion I can fight
Please stay right beside
So when it gets to much in your arms I can hide
This time the darkness I can't fight on my own
For the cut he left was down to the bone
So grip my hand tight and lead me in
One deep breath let us begin
Confronting the memory where it began
Hold on to me so I can stand
Help me dear friend take back this land

I nearly forgot my broken part
Till you took a blowtorch and cauterized my heart
You devastated me, with your art

Don't think of yourself as smart
In love my brain from my heart departs
I always put the horse behind the cart

The demons live within my soul
I cut thin lines to let them go
They just make the memories grow
Over and over they make them show

Oh so very long ago
Within my head thier seeds they sow
Over the years They took control
They left me feeling so ******* low

My misery is thier only goal
With every punch I try to roll
The more I take the more they throw
It's really starting to take it's toll

Through my agony they just stroll
Every ounce of happiness is what they stole
They left me in the deepest, darkest hole

And my living corpse walked on
Walking in the perpetual dawn
Of all the things that have gone wrong
This is the wish that I will sound
I hope my body's never found
And I just melt back into the ground

I just took a wrong turn going to church
Ended up down by the old white birch
So I decided to sit down there at it's roots
And up to my shoulder scurried a little newt
I liked the little fellow
Until in my ear it started to bellow
Why are you doing that I asked
He said not a thing just pulled out his flask
He motioned for me to drink
And before I could think
I took a big swig
And before I knew it I was dancing a jig
The swirling and twirling brought me down to my knees
The limbs in the tree moved with the breeze
And before long I started to wheeze
What Mr. Newt what have you done
Don't worry dear with us you are becoming one
So scurry on up here and sit on the branch
By day we watch at night we dance
None of this has happened by chance
You wished for it, now it is so
Back to your life you no longer have to go

The limbs grow, cover and cradle me
Like the arms of a forgotten lover
The maggots give me love bits as they slowly consume
The worms slither round about, in and out
Never again will my face wear a frown
Never again will I worry about zen
Or about how's and when's
This moss is my bed
Where I lay my weary head
Off to rest for eternity
Where the animal and insects show me love internally

Finally LOVE!!!!!!

**** the happy people that depression never struck
**** the happy people and all of their good luck
**** the happy people who've never known this strife
**** the happy people who've never used a razor or a knife
**** the happy people that the monsters never came
**** the happy people with no voices in their brain
**** the happy people that with the universe they have no gripe
**** the happy people and their ******* happy lifes