I think I’m going to do it this time. I’m going to cut it out of me. Why?
I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s as simple as that. The world is an ocean that washes over me. The sound of the water is deafening. It drowns my heart. My panic becomes as large as the sun and my mind as little as the moon appears. I need release. I need to hurt me before the world can again. Then I can comfort myself. I’m going to make myself a river worth drowning in.

The sun doesn't apologize for shining.
The rain doesn't apologize for falling.
The birds don't apologize for singing.
The trees don't apologize for growing.

You don't need to apologize for being.

You will never be unloved by me. You are too well tangled in my soul.

The finest souls are those who’ve gulped pain and avoided making others taste it.

Of course everything is falling apart. Your new life will cost you your old one.

When you say I’m pretty, do you mean with all my chaos?

I like being alone.
That’s how I knew you were different.
For the first time ever I craved someone else’s company more than my own.

I would rather sit in front of you than my vanity. Even though loving you makes me question my sanity.

I took the scenic route to your heart and got lost in your eyes.

Of course you lust over me. You are hungry for the man, that I need you to be.

I fell asleep not only in the same room as you, but also the same bed as you without waiting for you to fall asleep first.

I’m beginning to know myself.
I don’t exist.
I’m the space between what I’d like to be and what others have made of me.

I was dying and no one cared. Not even myself.

I don’t know how to heal out loud, I’ve nearly died in silence because I tried to have a voice.

I had to fall to learn that it’s okay to sin
I had to crawl to learn that I can stand
I had to fall to learn to walk again
They told me
Don’t be the victim
Lead with your wisdom
Don’t be afraid to change
Life’s always gonna be a little strange
I had to fall to learn to be okay
I had to kneel to my knees to learn to pray
I had to fall to learn that I can say what sober couldn’t say
I told me
Don’t be a coward
Lead with your power
Don’t be afraid of your failure
You are your savior
I had to fall to learn that I can cave
I had to stand to learn that I don’t need saved
I had to fall to learn that I am brave

Love is strong. You are mauled and you come crawling back. You are frozen, and yet still you seek heat from the same wrong source. There is no partial reinforcement to explain this behavior. There is only the dark side of touch, the reality of primate relationships, which is that they can **** us while they hold us. But, the beauty is, we are creatures of great faith. We will build bridges, against all odds we will build them. From here to there. From me to you.

I used to scream for you until my throat was too scratched and dry to even whisper. I can still taste the blood you regret gifting to me.

And I will fall for you
Not like heavy rain
Or drifting flakes of snow
Like the sun
Everyday
Endlessly
Over and over again

You are an artist, my love.
Your mouth is a musician’s mouth, your lips my tool. My body is the instrument you play, drawing forth the music that is our passion. My cries are the melody, your groans are the lyrics. Our bodies come together and beat to the rhythm of our song. Your breath hushes me, my moans do not obey. My hair whispers on your skin in silken sigh. While your clever fingers wring from my gasp. Our voices mingle in perfect harmony. As together, we sing the wordless song of our instrumental love.

I wrapped my holy legs around his heavy head and let his tongue swim towards salvation.  He looked me in the eyes while he was down there breathing for his life. He knew I wanted him to see what he does to me.

Have you ever thought about the word pain in painting? It’s amazing how you can take pain and make it into something so beautiful.

How is the weather inside of you?

Why do I bother?
Trapped in desire.
Feel so close.
But I can't touch the fire.
The sun goes up, then the sun goes down.
Day after day.
My conscience, she drowns.
We only pray for winter when summer comes around.
Don't look away...
I'm afraid of who I am.
Today, the winds howl on and on.
Please hold onto me.
I'm slipping away.
My dreams are starting to get freaky.
But don't worry, I'm still dancing to the leaking sink.
Drip drop, drip drop...
I'm starting to think I'm crazy.
There's no need for their worries though.
Because I believe they already know that careful gets boring.
And how would they know what's good for me?
The moon comes out, then the moon fades away.
Night after night.
My conscience, she drowns.
You're afraid of who I am.
Tonight, the rain pours on and on.
Hold onto me.
I'm slipping away.
Please spare me from myself.
It's hard enough with everyone else...
I think my soul's rebelling.
Can someone tell me what I'm thinking?
When the sun goes down and the moon comes out.
Day after night.
My conscience, she drowns, just a little bit more...

Letting go is hard, but being free is beautiful.

Come unglued
Come undressed
Come undone
Show me
In the dark
What you’ve become
Show me
Who you are
When no one is around
Show me who you are
When you remove your crown

You touched me like I was everything you asked God for. Underneath your hands I became poetry. This is the alchemy that you’ve casted onto me.

I kept going
Not because I wanted to
Trust me
All of me wanted to stop
I kept going
Because I deserved to know
What not giving up on myself felt like

No one will ever know the violence it took me to become this gentle.

Seek peace but, be prepared for war.

Speak to me in poetry
Tangle me in rhyme
Dance upon my senses
****** me with your mind
Lock me up with rhythm
Make love personified
Speak to me in poetry
Wake me up inside

I’m a trauma queen
Of course I stand quiet while I part the seas
How do you think I made it into Heaven
I’ve created my own blessings
Turned my hate into peace
I learned to touch me like a book’s crease
No one helped me
No one held me
No Gods or saviors, no hands of fate
I made myself into a saint
No preacher, no prayer to cry my name
I was just ******* and lit to flames
This world broke me and forced me to create me
Thought it could hang me in the family tree
I never needed their piece
I just needed me

My body is still birthing,
But nothing is to show.
The little life that was to be
Left my body days ago.
My body is still bleeding
Like a casualty took place,
And I mourn the ever-lingering loss
As I imagine a what-if face.
My body is still weeping
Even if no tears are cried.
Despite the plastered grit and grin,
My pain feels impossible to hide.
My body is still broken,
At least that's what I perceive.
What should have been your safest place,
Instead leaves me to grieve.
My body is still aching,
Shuddering, and unkind,
Leaving in place of your still life-
A heartbreak for the rest of mine.

When you come across something that doesn’t make you miserable, enjoy it.

You're a beautiful kind of madness. A misunderstood truth..

Being in your arms is what I came here for<3

A storm is coming, I hope it's ready for me.

I can’t keep being your second choice, not when you’re my first..

If there is a hole in your chest the size of a heart,
I hope you find beauty in the way you loved so hard.
Cracks are where the light gets in.
Cracks are how shadows fade away. There is grace to be found in your darkest days.

Even in the chaos, don't forget to love.

I am still learning to go back and reread my own chapters without the feeling of wanting to set all of the pages on fire.

Make someone smile everyday, but never forget that you are someone too.

How can I blame the wind for the mess it made, when it was I who opened the window.

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

It’s not that I think I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t trust it. There’s a difference.