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3d · 46
Wounded
Stab you
STAB
BURN YOU IN YOUR BLOOD

YOU USED ME
I KNOW
YOU ******* ***

REAP WHAT YOU SEW
I'LL TRAMPLE EVERYONE
THAT'S HURT MY SOUL

Ignore me
Throw me aside
Take your fist
And ******* me inside

My face burrowed in despair
My eyes sank into the floor
You sat and laughed right over there

Same as all before
Use me for your needs
And then ignore

Act like no harm was done
While you make way
Using another to ***

I'm tired
  Tired
     Tired

stop using me
Stop throwing me away
Stop ******* ignoring what i say

My eyes shined for you
But just as quick as they did
You threw me in the trash bin

Everytime I let free
The love hiding inside
forced everytime to hide and cry

anger brews my boiling blood
My mind is screaming
Only frigid cold up above

They won't talk to me
So I'll make them scream
******* ***** won't let me breathe

COME CLOSER
I'LL STAB YOU IN THE HEART
YOU CAN FEEL THE SAME AGONY
TEARING ME APART

SHARP PAIN STARTS IN MY CHEST
GOES INWARD
YOU DONT SEEM IMPRESSED

LET ME KEEP STABBING
STABBING
    STAB
         BING
YOU'LL BE ALL ******
AND CRYING

MAYBE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
HOW PAINFUL CUTS CAN WOUND

CRY OUT FOR ME
BUT MY ATTENTION
HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY
YOU'RE JUST
TRASH
   NOW

I'm sorry you're dying
But how pathetic
   Leave me alone
      Oh stop crying
5d · 35
Fool
Haha i lied
I tried to hide
I am just so tired
Of crying

I kept the facade up
Really believed myself
When i said
I wasnt bothered

yet i stood there
My heart breaking
At each word she said
About laying in that bed

With you
Seeing you
Ignoring me
And wanting her

Talking to her
Like you did me
It wasmt just jealousy
But pure hurt

Now I cry
And i ask why
******* why
Everyone makes me die

A little more each time
My heart really hurts
How cruel to me
You didnt have to be

I was happy with what we had
You pushed me away like trash
And she took my feelings
And ripped them apart

Ruthelssly she came at me
Eyes wide open shamelessly
Telling me her exploits
As she stomped on my heart

In front of everyone
I smiled as she pounded
Twisted and churned
With a burning sledge

Maybe a bulldozer
It hurt more then anything
Yet i smiled becuase
What can i do
Jokingly tell you off

Is about all i can manage
Becuase it doesn't matter
To anyone but me
Lets face it
I'm nothing

Replaceable to all
Everyone waits for my fall
They see me crawl
And hit so many walls

They all laugh
Hurting me is ok
Beating my face in
In the middle of the day

It's cruel and unsual
But for me it's normal
Everyone watches
Noo ne cares

I'm in pain
I expected this
I did think of course

That when you moved on
You'd be a bit kinder
Then taking full force
And ripping me in half

Its okay
I'm sure you're a great guy
It's just me
My eyes

They speak to people
They tell everyone
To hurt me
In the sickest ways

I must have a price to pay
With god
I don't get normal
I get eternal damnation
And I'm still alive

When i see her face
Smiling with yours
My heart doesn't just break
It sinks
Into a dark hole

Taking my life and soul
The rest of my body
Falls angry and stabs
Stab
Stab
     Stabs
Until i can't breathe
But i didn't want to cry
Therefore i drank
Because the poison
Soothed the anger

Id rather poison myself
Then let it out
Yet a song played
I wrote the words out
In my diary

And each mark
I put down
Reminded me
And brought a smile
Into a frown

Each memory escaped me
And then returned
Darker and unsettled
Now they hurt
But
Theyre in pen

I can shred the paper
Theyre still written
Even blowing through
The wind

So each mark i made
With each memory i tear
broke free
Now here i am

1am and I'm crying alone
The worst part is
Im so used to this
Yet it always hurts more
Each
*******
Time

I was so happy
I wore yellow
The day after
You touched my heart

Now i remember
Yellow was never
My color
I only know
Deep blue

The yellow is raining
The rain won't stop
It's cold and hailing
I keep failing
Everything

The storm is breaking
Im in it and shaking
The ground is quaking
Inside it's aching

Deep inside
That yellow dress
Is torn and bruised
My fingers bled too much
To fix it

I'm so sorry.
My pain never goes away
Im so sorry
The endless crying won't stop
Im so sorry
You hurt me
And I can't
  Stop
     Missing
              You

Im sorry
I'm a fool
i just give up. Everyone hurts ne and then acts like its ok. And i never do anything but cry becayse when i tey i get laughed at and hurt. I got replaced. So fast. Right in my face like im a ******* joke.
6d · 29
Dry
Dry
I'm dry
Heart hurts inside
My eyes leak
Of sand

I was wet
Around you
I really felt
Like a flower

I bloomed
But now
I feel shrivled
And cold

I'm not falling apart
But it does hurt
Quite a lot
To be thrown aside

I could have stayed away
not felt this crackling pain
I chose to go
I needed to feel it all

Every hurt i felt before
Was sick and twisted
This time it's sad and hurtful
But finally normal

It was a slap in the face
How quickly i was replaced
I stole those lines from a song
I can finally relate my pain too

I know I'll move on
I'm not traumatized by this
My lips may tear from it
But i know I'll find water

I had a special moment with you
I was swept into a beautiful misty dew
I always knew
It would end like this

I was wet with you
Then i saw her
the alcohol spewed
Into me

I felt dry
Had to replenish
With the poison
To my heart

You're an *******
This i know
But i don't regret
This wild oat

I sewed it
We had fun
You held me
And then were gone

I may be okay
I may understand
But don't think for a second
I'll let you off

You had no reason
To hurt me this way
No reason to rub it in my face
I'm ******* as ****

Normally i let things go
I cry and feel ashamed
Not this time
I see what's to blame

You screamed my name
We we're *******
And friends
There was no reason

To throw it away
Sleep with someone else
I don't care
Until you ignore me

I'm fed up
With being hurt
And it being ok
You're gonna pay

Grow the **** up
End things proberly
You ******* pig
Just watch out

I know how to win
I won't be walked over anymore
I'll steal all your girls
And treat them better

Then I'll ******* wreck you
And continue my life
Feeling oh so much
Better

We could have been friends
And left it at that
But you made sure
To ******* ruin that

I'm doing okay
I really am
Except my lips burn
Into my empty hand
Mar 13 · 77
Self
Hello Daisies Mar 13
Sometimes to truly
Find who you are
First you have to see
How far you can fall

The scary part is
Not knowing
If you're strong enough
To keep going

If you'll still climb
Even if the fall
Was deep
You won't hit that wall

I didn't see
I begged
And pleaded
For just a shred

I saw my friend
Find herself
After her darkest hour
She saw her own wealth

The worst year of my life
It has been blinding
My soul was twisting
And winding

I tried to end it
End it so many
Many
Many
Times

I never could
I didn't understand
Yet some nights
I saw light within my ****** hand

I felt warmth
As i cried
I knew deep down inside
Id be alright

I lost myself
To find it
The missing piece
I forgot i hid it

I'm still shaking
But finding color
My daydreams exist
And now shine like lovers

I got ****** up
So deep in rage
I let all my **** loose
To heal my torn page

I can see
I can almost feel
The strength
I'm starting to heal

Never knew myself
I was an empty book
The words are appearing
And i can finally take a look
I haven't felt like me in years it feels like i lost mt color my love my dreams but im seeing them again with a new strength
Mar 13 · 36
Exist
Hello Daisies Mar 13
I have my issues
My anxieties
And selfish behavior

I'm still crying
Still worrying
And afriad

Lately though Ive felt it
A difference
Maybe a spark

I've grown
Become stronger
And more confident

I was empty
No one noticed me
I felt smaller then anyone
Smaller then a bee

I failed every thing
Thats what i felt
Everyone told me
I was worthless

Situations havent changed
No people are still cruel
Here i stand
Still going

Last year i would have left
Took my tears and ran
Broke down at every word

Now i feel a spark
I feel noticed
Becuase
I noticed myself

I told me
Hey I'm so proud
And then i saw

Others saw the spark
Now they see
I exist
And it's shocking

They like me
They talk with me
I work hard
And i don't fall
At
Every
Hurtful
Word

Its not that it doesn't hurt
It's just i now see my own worth
Mar 11 · 124
Crush
Hello Daisies Mar 11
Pound
Pound
My heart beats
But it's not bad

Churn churn
My stomach twirls
But it's kinda nice

Dizzy dizzy
My head feels
But it's kinda fun

i feel nervous
Forget how to function
It's been forever since
I wrote a verse

A verse of twinkling
A song of curiosity
A fluff of fuzzy feelings
Ive got this funny feeling

You see
You're adorable
But i don't even know you
I want to try
But I'm so shy

I don't flirt
I run and hide
I think you're cute
How do i make this work

I gotta crush
It's almost nauseating
You got me flustered
But I enjoy this rush

So tell me, ***
How do I
Get more out of you
Then a look and
Run
Its been forver since i got all flustered over a boy
And as my past goes i always mess it up *** i got ****** anxiety and I'm weird and run away
Mar 10 · 42
Clock
Hello Daisies Mar 10
Ticking ticking
Time BOMB
I cry for my
Mom

Blinking blinking
Life escapes
I'm always
Late

tick tock
Tick tock
Make the time
Stop

Ding ****
Ding ****
They're coming
Like a storm

tick tick
Tick tick
TicK tiCk
TICk tick
TICKTICK
KCITCKIT
TCKITKIC
  HELP ME
stop THE TIME
I CANNOT SLEEP
WITHOUT A DIME
DAYS PASS
NOTHING LAST
MY HEART BEATS
TOO FAST
STOP
TICKING AT ME
GIVE ME PEACE
AND SANITY
EVERY ******* DAY
TICK TOCK
CLOCK GOES
TICK TOCK
A SECOND TOO CLOSE
STRESS COMES
AT THE CHIME
OF THE CLOCK


tick tock

TICK TOCK
Im stressed
Mar 10 · 83
Heroism
Hello Daisies Mar 10
I watch many shows
About a savior
Who is separate from the world

They were chosen
To save everyone
Yet they are so depressed
Being seperate from everyone

Buffy wished she was normal
She considered herself a freak
Eventually stopped being alive
And inside she died

She had friends
But felt so alone
She could not socialize
And show her trueself

She was a freak
But everyone saw a hero
She was empty inside
She wished for death
But only could hide

I watch these shows
Almsot religiously
Becuase I feel i grow
As buffy losing reality

All i wished for
As a little girl
Was to be normal
And see the world

All I get
Was being a freak
While everyone else praised me
For being innocent and sweet

They look to me as a saving grace
Their last fall
When they hit their face
Then they leave

The hardest thing in this world
Is to live in it
Buffy said
As she dove into her death

Only to awaken even more dead
Inside a deep grave
Living life depraved
Of basic emotions

Everyones falling apart
All around her
But she has to work
And be a good girl

I dove head first
Into numbess
I died
And woke up
With no bliss

I see your suffering
I do not care
I'm so gone
I'm going nowhere

I lost my morals
And sense of heroism
I wish to destroy
The city of ****
That is my prison

Maybe then i can be free
And see my reality
Show love to those around
And finally be proud
Like a normal girl
Mar 10 · 44
Normal
Hello Daisies Mar 10
I was raised
To be broken
I feel faint
Every day

I never before could explain
Why I loved you
And wanted to be with you
In the pouring rain

I love you because
You were normal
Being around you i almost felt
Just like everyone else

I could watch you
With all others
Showing affection
You had no clue

The pain of malnutrion
Hiding any emotion
Being alarmed of human touch
No one could listen

Its blinding
How sick i truly am
My body craves health
It all seemed so winding

Yet i see it was simple
I needed nutrition
The ones everyone else has
That they find so little

I'm too afraid to grow
I let my body rot
For love and affection
I never did know

Starved for life
I crave such simplicity
I want to Hug you
And let go of this knife

I hold onto it bleeding
I only know how to open
With pain and suffering
How can i show happy feelings

I'd say I'm lost
But that implies i once
Knew where i was going
I was born with no cross

I hold no meaning
Or hope for anyone
I suffer for nothing
I want to stop screaming

What's it like to be alive
In your eyes I almost saw
Peace of mind and a desire
To be normal and let my emotions
Finally arrive
Mar 7 · 86
Should I write
Is it time to let go?
Time to move on?
I keep feeling as if
It's wrong

It feels so long
Since i wrote
Yet i know
It wasnt much
Time ago

Should i write?
Should i pass
Should i sit and wait
In the grass

It was a field of green
Wind blowing
Sun out
Now it's cold
And snowing

The grass is dying
I think I'm crying
Should i try
To start flying
Away

I talk about you
Everyday
But the drama
Got in the way

You probably don't
Even care one thought
But the worry
Maybe you do
And this distance
Is for naught

I almost wrote you
Yesterday
Or was that today
My days melt into each other
As we once did

I used to write
Every other week
A silly antidote
Or a simple hello
Made me smile

Now i try to type
But the letters scurry away
Theyre afraid
I'll upset
The weather

The storm was always coming
But i never listened
To adults
Who told me how to take
Cover

I'm at a loss
I feel so lonely
You surely don't care
As much as i do

My pen is fading
My thumbs are numbing
Mt heart aches
To type a letter
As my hands break

It's wrong
I didn't belong
But it's been so long
Maybe you miss
My silly
Song

Should i write?
Maybe a smile
Will cross your face
And I'll feel in place
Again

Should i pass?
Maybe annoyance
Would disrupt your tune
and take away
Your calm moon

I'm at a crossroads here
Which way do i go
I always pick the wrong path
Yet i still don't ******* know

Should i say hello
Or say goodbye
Trying to talk or have romantic interest with people just hurts me everytime
Feb 25 · 60
Her
Hello Daisies Feb 25
Her
Let her out
Let her cry
Let her shine

Go ahead and pout
Go ahead and shout
Go ahead and freak out

Don't be afraid
Of what's inside
Stop trying to hide

She's in there
Screaming for freedom
Let her sin

Let her breakdown
Let her be a *****
Let her out

forget their words
Forget their judgements
Forget their hate

Shine as much as you need
Shine as far as you want
Shine until you want to stop

I finally feel her
She wants out
I still have fear
Stopping her

I hear her shout
I hear her dreams
I hear her pouts
I hear her screams

I want to grow
I want to love
I want to let it all out
Even the dark
Im so afraid of

I just don't know
How to open the gates
And let her escape
To her epic fate
Feb 25 · 96
Self love
Hello Daisies Feb 25
Somehow within this
The deepest torment
I slowly felt a light
Awakening

I'm still shaking
It doesn't make sense
Freeing myself
As i went numb

It's not me
It's not me
Never was me

I'm shining
Always have been
I'm finding
Each piece

You took from me
Made us all crumble
Because of your insecurity
I'm not broken

I hate you
I hate you
I'm sorry

You're twisted
You shattered all over us
Couldn't handle the mess
But never dare confess

I was born
In self hatred
Always alone
The veil has been blown

Away from our eyes
I do not know why
But i found the truth
Once i decided to die

I'm dead
I'm dead
Yet coming alive

I am amazing
I am loving
I am so beautiful
It's not my fault

Others are jealous
So many afraid of themselves
They hurt others
Im done

We have become one
I feel it now
I'm not backing down
I will love myself

Truly this time
I didn't understand before
My love was bruised
Like my soul next to you

The darkest parts of me
Finally broke free
I could feel the light inside
Though terrified

I can be happy
I can be happy
We all can be happy

I'm on the road
To truly love myself
Once i concur self care
You best beware
This isnt very good its a mess but lately ive been so numb i csnt describe how awful my mind has gotten. Ive been depressee my whole life but it's like it all is releasing lately. Im seeing things differently and Ive been hating some people for what they've done to me. I'm growing but I'm reaply ****** up and some others i know are too. And I've hated myself so much indidnt realize how deep it went. Ive bever been so hopeless and so angry and so suicidal before. Ive tried to **** myselfs many times recently. Yet in these dark moments i felt like it...was okay? I felt a small shimmrr of hope. Like this was the right tbing finally. Because now im seeing things differently. I'm seeing how love really is amd how much i should love myself. Because theree nothing wrong with me and never was. So lany people everyone has abused me and put me down. Ive been living life thisnway. Thinking i don't deserve ti exist thinking im ******, thinkinh im not good enough for anyhting or compared to anyone. Im worth less. And everyone telles me this . when soemone tells me its not true amd they see my worth i necer really beleived them. I listened to the abuse. Idk why i see it now but i do. Those bullies truly were only insecure about themselves. So wanted to bring me down. Im human and I'm beautiful inside and out. I'm not perfect and that's okay. I will grow and i will learn to love and help others again but fjrst i must learn that i can love myself and stop crying all alone in the corner.

And so can all of you. I don't care if its your dad or your lover or whoever don't let them tell you that you don't shine, because you do. Love yourself everyone. Please.
Feb 25 · 120
Torn dress
Hello Daisies Feb 25
It's dark
Dark as coal
Im sitting here
Screaming

Head buried in knees
White dress torn
Crying trapped in here

I see you appear
In my dreams
Of ****

You i can tell
Have also fell
Into the dark

I lie here torn apart
This torment only i own
Only selfishly

Open my eyes
I see you in the sky
Dark and crumbling

My lips fumbling
You are trapped
In the same torn dress

We suffer the same stress
My mind closes in
I see your tears

It grows my fears
For a second
I give up all hope

Why bother trying
When you're in the same *****
Shimmer of light peaks inside

For if i can take this life
And not back down
You are with me in this

We will share the crown
Feb 23 · 44
Burn
Hello Daisies Feb 23
I let them all out
Now there's pity
Burning in my city

Power gone out
It's all on the news
I blew the fuse

This isn't what i wanted
Stop recording me
Stop feeling sorry

The more they help
I take advantage
Taking the city by rampage

Put them back away
Ignore the flicker
It would be simpler

I see the wrongs
The filfth fills underground
Yet i can't ******* make a sound

Im so sorry
I leaked the gas
And watched the town

Burn down
Nothings alright and im just awful
Feb 23 · 36
Choice
Hello Daisies Feb 23
they ask me
Choose a way
This or that

Find yourself
live and become
Someone

They don't see
My reality
Is dead

It's not a cry out
It's not a pout
Im gone

I can barely write
Words aren't flowing
My canvas is empty

I'm walking
Only because a leash
Is pulling me forward

No goal
No care
I'm no longer there

Empty inside
I may still cry
Left over pieces

They see emotion
They see sad
Then they get mad

Try harder
Stop whining
Start shining

They don't know
I already made a choice
I decided to die

And it's already in progress
Feb 15 · 83
Friendship
Hello Daisies Feb 15
My dear friends
I miss you
On those warm summer nights
The sky's thick hue

We are all lost
Running away
Because we are so afraid

So let's get in the car
Turn that cd up loud
Drive through them city lights
Dancin like we proud
Proud

We'll always find each other
Even far as **** away
Laughing til we cry
Even in the worst of days

Always there for every first
Tired nights with
Heavy brights

We  in that car
So Turn that cd up loud
Drive through them city lights
Dancin like we proud
Proud

Can't even comprehend
How lucky we are
To lay with each other
And stare at the stars

I'll be there with you
From your wedding day
To your darkest day

Won't let it leave my heart
When we're in my car
Blaring that cd so loud
Highway lights passing by

We'll keep going far
Far

Driving together in any car
Feb 13 · 160
Her
Hello Daisies Feb 13
Her
How come every
     Sick
           Abusive
Dark

Love song i hear
Reminds me
Of you

The fear
The essence
You hold
      In
     Me

It's not beauty
It's disgusting
Im disgusting
     Stop

You say I'm not
*** you know
It's ******* disgraceful

It's not tasteful
You inside me
But i take it
    Burning

Whisper my name
Surround me
Scream in shame
      
Noones to blame
You're a demon
Crawling about
        My skin

Swim skin deep
Keep me warm
You hold me down

With a frown
I'll sing a song
To honor your name
           So lovely

Am i keeping you
Or do you keep me
I thought i was a fighter

In the mirror a cryer
To others a lighter
Within it's burning
         Empty

Oh but of course
I see it now
You arent me

You're just the terror
And screeching
That rests within
        M  e
I lost myself today
So entirely
I don't think i can regain who ever she used to be
Feb 3 · 119
First time
I still remember
How you held
my hand
On your chest

I remember how you
Made me feel comfort
For my first time
With another

I asked you to take me
You asked if i was sure
I said yes
You obliged

Afterwards i didnt know
How to be
So i layed alone
Until you held me

Thank you
For making sure
I didn't feel
Used

I'm not mad at you
Becuase i knew
I'm simply
Afraid

To lose what i had
With you
I'm so insecure
But i can't be sincere

It was only
A hookup
I was warned
Many a time

Yet it happened again
So it left my mind
I want to keep you
Over the weekends

When they are over
You can go about
But you're being taken
From me

Like everyrhing else is
Why must she be here
She's ruining my get away
I don't like her

I'm sure that's wrong
It's becoming a blur
My mind hurts so much
I just want some companionship


  Please
Don't take it away from

Me
This isnt very good but i wanted to let out some overwhelming thoughts ive been having for months that are getting so much worse
Feb 1 · 63
Camelot
Green peace and trees
Orange leaves and sun
Following the blonde strands
Whisping along

Deep reds and purples
Blue mystic lakes
Diving into brunette silk
Marching forward

Friendship and tears
Trust built into love
Bonding a legend
No man could ****

Dragons and ancient tongues
Wars and proud kings
Deep into crimson red
Flowing royal death

Secrets and mysteries
The future and the past
Destiny and youth
Tied around your heart

The love of a man
The tears of a loss
Broken soul holding on
To a gold warrior
Ever so strong

Bittersweet as a broken heart
Like friends who grew a part
Keep it inside your soul forever more
Just don't let the sadness keep you
On the floor
Hi yes i love the show merlin and the legends of king arthur
Feb 1 · 303
Scars
I look at my scars
Darkend on my skin
Like spilled ink on paper

They're barely noticeable
Similiar to myself
holding deeper wounds
Only seen as an ingnifiant mark

I hate myself
Too much to be sad
Over scars from past
Im still making new ones

My body wasn't made to last
My mind made sure
So deeply insecure
I promise no-one sees

Always forgotten
Until i open a new one
What have they become
But a reminder

Im a broken window
Everyone sees right through
Tape over the whole
And ignore the shattered parts

My scars arent enough
To signify my pain
They don't scare anyone
Theyre too plain

Endless void of choking
Choking on life
Since I swallow it
No-one cares what's left inside

You may stay scars
I won't hide you
I'll just ignore you
Like everyone does me
Ive been ingored my whole life so I'll ignore my own body as well
Feb 1 · 23
21
21
I always wondered
Who will I be at 21
My young eyes thought
I would really be someone

Now i ask
Why am i still alive
Im 21 but hate myself
Dissapointed my young eyes

Call myself a gypsy
Always moving around
I don't want to be lost
I want to be found

All these years I held on
To my destined age
I thought 21 would be me
Yet I'm locked in the same cage

Lying about who i am
Because i have to settle
For what i can get
I'm tired of the battle

I want love
And respect
I want friends
It doesn't have to be perfect

I want a home
And balance
I need warmth
Like a white picket fence

I don't want boring
Or captivity
I hate unsteady
And high difficulty

When will something
Stay with me
Give me peace
And my sanity
Jan 29 · 67
Fun
Hello Daisies Jan 29
Fun
Romance is dead
Jump in my bed
We'll have some fun
Til I'm finally dead
Oof
Jan 29 · 81
Manic
Hello Daisies Jan 29
Pacing pacing
Pacing racing
Falling screaming

Staying going
Writing cryiNG
RACING RACING
WORDS WORDS WORDS

S T O P
NO NO

Soemone talk to me
I'm feeling needy
No wait

I feel great
It's 3am
I don't even need sleep

I've slept all day
So tired
I feel uninspired

Wow it's so pretty
I am too
Everyrhing is okay

Listen to me
LISTEN TO ME
STOP STOP

IGNORING ME

Trauma trauma
Get over it
Stop throwing a fit

Are you okay
You need help
I'll do anything

Dear god
Am i crazy
Everyone says i am

Look at them
Disturbing
I can't be like that

No wait
I like this
It makes me different

Dear god **** me
It's not unique
I'm a freak

Tears of joy yesterday
Now drops of sorrow
Ahaha love is borrowed

Whisper whipser
calming calming
The storm is coming

I sent you a novel
YOU DIDN'T REPLY
Dear god my minds dry

Stop talking
Speak to me
So restless endlessly

Daydreaming
Oh the day is gone
Where'd you all go

Time is slow
No it's F A S T
Nothing is meant to last

I'm tired now
I can't sleep
Maybe I'll research

Something neat

Goodnight
Goodnight
LEAVE ME ALONE

Okay im sorry
For the harsh tone

Why are you leaving

                        This is normal
I think i need to accept I'm like my father
With a bipolar disorder
My minds gone crazy
Not sure who i was today
People said wow yoyre so funny and happy today
But yesterday i wanted to end myself

I can't sleep again

I wish i was normal lol
Jan 28 · 65
Why
Hello Daisies Jan 28
Why
Why won't anyone
Love me

Why won't anyone
Care for me

I give so much
And recieve none

I can't stop crying
No use trying

No one wants me
I know
I won't ask you to

I just want to know
Why
Jan 28 · 154
Alone
Hello Daisies Jan 28
I'm in denial
That anyone loves me
It's not paranoia

I know the truth
It echoes in my head
As tears fall onto my bed

Nobody cares
I'm just a tool to use
For them to get ahead

Noones ever loved me
Noones ever gone beyond for me
I can't fight my insecurites

Because they're right
I am unloved
A cursed child

a mistake at birth
A burden growing up
Last resort as an adult

I'm never a first choice
Barely Last choice
So I'll lower my voice

Let myself be used
It's what tools are for
Not like I'll ever be beautiful

Why did you like me
Why did you sleep with me
Just desperate for any company

Found someone new
No surprise
Already used to the lies

No boy will love me
Nor any friend
But they'll sure pretend

Can't blame them
I don't even love me
filled with self pity

Years on repeat
Everyone leaves me
Always shamelessly

Not one soul
Would walk one extra step
To help me as I wept

Nor does anyone
Find me worth
Anything but a empty purse

I am unloved
Yet i exist
Why did god make me

So ******* helpless
This is a ****** mess of words but yeah hey atleast i know why ive been crying all day. All my thoughts and everything thats been happening has been echoing in my head that im alone. Im never a first choice and I'm only around for people who are desperate. They all leave me for someone better. Always. I guess my mom loves me at least.
If she didn't id have killee myself already lol
Jan 28 · 69
Tired
Hello Daisies Jan 28
I am so ******* tired
Of being sad
Tired of trying
With everything i have

Tired of living
Just to cry
Please god
Let me die

My tears came
From being alone
Now theyre here
For reasons unknown

Waking up everyday
Just to lay in bed
Dreading life away
Scared of what's ahead

It's so dark
I can't see a future
All i know is pain
Why is life such torture

Why do i fear death
How can it be worse
Then living this solem life
To breathe is a ******* curse

My suffering is on repeat
Isolated and alone
I tried to break free
Eternal **** I've been shown

God writing these words
Makes me sick
All it does
Is slow down my fit

I could never convey
The endless ****
Why do i even bother
In trying to tell

Someone ******* shoot me
Since i can't do it myself
I'm a nobody don't worry
You won't go to ****

For killing me
Wouldn't be sin
No-one would care
As I die with a
Grin
Life isnt getting any better its just gotten worse in new ways
Jan 28 · 421
Suicidal
Hello Daisies Jan 28
Depression
                           -----------
                          Lonliness
                 ­          -------------
                          Suffering
               ­              ---------
                       Pain.        Love
                Hurt.                    Scream­s
         Hated.                                  Needy
    Abused.                                             Sad
  Mocked.                                           ****
  Ashamed.                                   Religion
      Scared.                                     Scarred
         Poor.                                          Lost
           Weak.                                  Sick
               Fragile _    hurt _   broken
Hi
Jan 26 · 470
Pound
Hello Daisies Jan 26
Pounding
  Pounding
           Pounding
                            POUNding
                                         POUNDING
                      poUNDING
               POUND
ING
       ING
POUND

Everyday
It pounds
Each side
I'm on the
     ground
Crying
Cry

   Ing
How many times
Can i wish
     For
        Eternal
Dark

            Ness
My head hasnt stopped throbbing in pain for over a month now
Jan 25 · 133
Beg
Hello Daisies Jan 25
Beg
Bouncing
   Bouncing
          Bounce
On top

Thrusting
      Thrusting
            ******
Inside

  Pouring
      Pouring
            Pour
All over

Locking
     Locking
           Lock
Me up

Gagging
     Gagging
             Gag
Me down

Zoning
     Zoning
            Zone
Out

Dreaming
       Dreaming
              Dream
All about it

Giving
   Giving
        Give
Me it

Pleasures
  What i seek

Im on my knees
           Not weak
              But begging

  For it
Hi
Take from this what you may
Jan 24 · 80
Haunted
Hello Daisies Jan 24
Shadowed ghosts
Haunting my mornings
Draining ghouls
Sneaking in my window

Trapped in my head
I can't scream
Monsters sit on me
Filling me with dread

Iced over in fear
Sweating hot in exhaustion
My mind sleeps
My body weeps

Hello dear spirit
Why are you singing
Your tune frightens me
Can you please let me free

You appear as a young boy
Where is your face, child
Why are my eyes leaking
Everytime i close them

Are you here to haunt
Or do you miss me
Uhm having a bad day and bad dreams
Jan 23 · 116
Broken
Hello Daisies Jan 23
I try to be positive
Think of the good
Say no to the dark

Yet the spark
That i try to relive
turns to dust

Sadness without trust
Stressed thoughts overwhelm
All i see is bad things to come

I can't stop taking lithium
I don't want to be alone
But this partner is too toxic

Happy thoughts inside a dark pit
The shadows won't go away
I am tortured in my dreams

Light died within the seams
It all fell out
I wish i was empty

All that's left of me
Is a shattered soul
Waiting to go home
I cant seem to make my bad thoughts go away. Even when i think kf something good that happneed ot somehow turns bad in my mind. I give up
Jan 23 · 68
Lost
Hello Daisies Jan 23
where am I going
I do not know
What do i want
All i feel is woe

Am i a fiery warrior
Or a pretty princess
Am i soft poetry
Or something unknown to me

What are my goals
I can't figure out
What's my dream
All i feel is doubt

Am i a free spirited owl
Or a early morning rooster
Am I the reds and oranges of autumn
Or the blooming spring of freedom

I do not know what defines me
Or who I am
But when someone laughs
Or there is happiness
I feel a spark
Inside this lost heart
No idea who i am but yeah
Jan 23 · 101
Breaking out
Hello Daisies Jan 23
Twisting
Turning
Banging
Where's the key

It's no mystery
The mess inside
It's pouring out
I want to hide

Breaking
Pushing
Screaming
Lock it up

Make it shut up
Keep the door closed
clawing it's way through
In fear my mind froze

Piercing
Throbbing
Screeching
Bolt it down

It's breaking my crown
Should i end it's life?
I can't find the key
Maybe death will stop this strife
My own thoughts will be the death of me
Jan 15 · 860
Inside me
Hello Daisies Jan 15
I like it
The feeling
Of you inside
Me

I want it
The heart beat
Against
Me

I feel filthy
***** with you
On top
Me

I desire it
You moaning
Pleasures into
Me

I used to be inoccent
How boring
I hated
Me

I like being
Naughty
Why don't you spank
Me

I'll call you
Daddy
While everyone else hates
Me


God please
Just
****
Me
This is a little uh yeah but also yeah
Jan 15 · 134
Me
Hello Daisies Jan 15
Me
the more i grow
The more i see
Myself i know

Is disgusting

Never did i realize
Just how dark
The pain is in these eyes

It's disturbing

Finding myself
I want to stop
Can i be someone else

I'm a freak

Everything i hated
Never would i dare
Now it makes me elated

Soon I'll burn

I never was pure
Everyone insisted
I wanted to be sincere

Maybe i don't care

I'm selfish
I want to do this
It gives me small bliss

How sick

It's wrong
Others are hurt
Make the voices be gone

The sun never shines for me
:/ even when im happy its wrong
Jan 14 · 54
Perfect
Hello Daisies Jan 14
Nobodys perfect
But how i would try
To never fail anyone

always be a clean one
Never make a mistake
Don't sin just hide

It ate me up inside
I became brittle
I judged harshly

Lately I'm growing rapidly
Understanding life
Everyone is human

To be human
Is to make mistakes
And learn as you go

Yet as i finally show
All my human flaws
Everyone is in disgust

Perfect for me is a must
I catch myself saying
How can i let this go

So i can grow
Jan 6 · 216
Hate
I hate you
And this heart
Beating within me

I hate this
The crippiling desire
To curse your soul

What's wrong with me
   what's wrong with me
      WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

I hate the sky
It's beauty is a lie
the blue peace is a facade

I hate existence
The very feeling
Burning with blood

  Why am i like this
    Why am i like this
       WHY AM I LIKE T H I S

I ******* hate myself
**** me and everyone else
Take a sledgehammer to my brain

I loved everyone
I thought i did
Love was never known to me

I hate that I hate
It's filled with anger and hurt
But maybe i must hate

Before i can learn to love
Having existence issues :')
Jan 6 · 422
Cage
Locked away
Threw away the key
Why isn't freedom easy

Ran away
So afraid but going
Falling  without knowing

Chased dreams
Too dark to see
Fell until empty

Damaged mind
Tried to be free
Bars building endlessly

Spirit gone
Brittle heart within
Let the devil in
:(
Jan 4 · 216
Gardens of life
Some flowers grow
Yellow Some White
Every flower is different
But most all need the light

Weeds are picked
Said to be bad
They were just trying
With what they had

Some flowers grow
Tall
Taller then any others
They may be afraid to fall

Some plants produce
Fruit and vegetable
That being their purpose
Others may think that questionable

Many plants are damaged
Petals falling off and dying
These types dont sell often
But **** are they trying

Seeds may fly
Taking roots anywhere
Afraid of where they'll go
Others stay claiming its unfair

There are so many
Different plants and flowers
Trying to categorize them all
Is kind of a disaster
Hi been just seeing that everyone is damaged and everyone is so different they show theie damage in different ways. We are all human but all grow into ourselves differently.
Dec 2018 · 241
Married
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
I'll never get married
Love is a lie
Be single til i die

Cinderella was beautiful
Prince came to her
And sparkles were everywhere

They rode into
Happily ever after
With joyous laughter

Love like that exists
Until you open your eyes
And you start to cry

love left you traumatized
After so long they changed
Became so deranged

I'll never get married
Anyone i ever love
Turns into a black dove
Dec 2018 · 117
Fuck you
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Here's another poem
About another ****
It took me way to long

After poems of love
And heart felt words written
Why the **** was i so smitten

Crush
      Love
  
                    Disgust
  
 

Let another one use my heart
Let another one take me apart
Played nice and apologized

  ******
      Pig
           
                  ****

Way to flirt
With anything in a small skirt
But whine that youre alone

Way to make me feel
Yet act like there's no deal
Now you want my friend

**** it
      *******

                     ******* all

Im done with this
I'm not second best
Take my anger

And shove it up your ***
>:( dont really think this is good but Idk been feeling angry lately. People keep treating me like trash and playing with my emotions. So for now on If they're a **** to me then byeeee
Dec 2018 · 367
Dry
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Dry
My lips are dry
With no lover
To fix the burn

I lay alone to yurn
Maybe alcohol
Will keep me warm
I should sleep
Dec 2018 · 43
Confident
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
I feel warm
I feel dizzy
I feel sad

Oh my bad
I got too drunk
Decided no more junk

I feel me
I feel clear
I feel calm

You all did me wrong
Now i see
You don't deserve me

I feel tired
I feel dry
I feel sure

*******, sir
Being upset at me
When i finally spoke honestly

I feel closer to a confident me
Hi im uhm shouldn't be writing while intoxicated yet i tried anyway. Okay.
Dec 2018 · 550
Ugly depression
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Dress up your depression
Stockings and lipstick
Dancing and music

No it's all scattered
A mess everywhere
Just keep shedding tears

Mask your pain
With ***** and ***
Clubs and latex

No you're too sheltered
Poor and locked away
Openly showing **** shame

Take it as a specialty
Write pretty plays and poetry
Make meaning for your suffering

No you have no talent
Give up and sleep all day
end it all can't hide the pain
:/
Dec 2018 · 260
Desire
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Fairies are beautiful
Green and sparkling
Free and flying

Fires are dangerous
Burning and soaring
Disastrous and deadly

Fairies and fires dont mix
Both can't fit in one soul
Let me sparkle as i burn you whole

**** and sin
Beauty with a grin
Everything i am is the devil

Give me the torch
I'll set you to scorn
In a fire with your horns

Watch me drop the torch
I'll burn with you
I'm disgusting too

Anger thrashes heavily
Selfishness sins in secret
Darkness i must protect

Too afraid to let it out
Dark shadows within skin
Screaming to let swim

Different on the outside
Not fairie nor fire
Just evil with desire
Idk if this one makes sense veen having trouble exoressing my emotions as if late because im pretty deeply deoressed and numb
I don't do well with that but a song made me feel so i wrote
Dec 2018 · 169
Shattered
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Broken girl
Empty world
Repeating these words

My hearts been half alive
Except when we three collide
Sunshine and rain we thrived

The noise is drowning
The smiles are frowning
Loneliness is pounding

Breaking inside
You try to hide
My heart just can't deny

The bowl is empty now
Tipping without dripping somehow
Until the glass shattered down

You made smoke mirrors
my heart numb with errors
I did not want to feel the terror

The dark hit the sun
I knew i didn't belong
beautiful moments suddenly felt gone

Why must i cry at my joyous past
With you forever it would last
breaking down with pain so vast

I thought my heart to be broken
But a new feeling has awoken
Being fixed is stolen

I'm shattered
Why must i continue a life of onky hurt and pain
Awaking everyday to a new hurt
Everythingms getting darker
Just when i thought i found a light again it was a joke and i got hurt so much worse
I cant try any more
Realkt thought i might end it all but guess im here still
Dec 2018 · 129
Music
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Close my eyes
See my dreams
Made of my bliss

Nothing is my happiness
From striving
To a n g e r

Sadness was my major
Always so                    Lonely
My eyes don't want to open

Sleep my only token
Pretending I'm as before
But laying here i know

Being alive is a show
I died inside
Yet they want me to believe

I keep going with no relief
I've given up on me long ago
Yet when music plays

Tears d
             rop where i lay
Small glimmer of emotion
Just may still remain after all
Dec 2018 · 90
Sleepless
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Dead
  Dead
         Dead
    
  Burning
      Stirring
              Stabbing
Twisting

Sad all the time
Dead until nine
The stabbing starts at bed
My body isnt dead
Emotions must not have been informed

Let me s l e e p
Tired
        Drained
               RestLESs

Take this pill
God I'm fragile
Needles in my arms
They're not causing real harm
It's just my lover
              
                               AGONY
I wrote this while trying to sleep i feel numb everyday but when i try to sleep i cry and anxiety burns through my arms :')
Dec 2018 · 186
7Am rain
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Early morning dew
Misty foggy air
Fills my lungs

Chilly unconvered hands
Dripping wet windows
Eases my clogged mind

Puddles in the road
Silent lights dimmed near by
Creates calm in my face

Nostalgia pierced through
Children playing at recess
Easing my eyes back to sleep
It rained and it was all misty at 7am and like it gave me nostalgia and the smell after it rained just i love it
Dec 2018 · 87
Royalty
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Oh royalty that you are
Let me bow down before the
I doth not deserve to be in thy presence

You have made it be known
From all that you've shown
That you are a mighty one
While  i am not but dumb

Oh my king let me apologize
For i have disgraced you
My sight has tarnished your eyes

I am so low
It must show
When others see you
I must look as a ***** shoe

Thy queen is smart and wealthy
I am but a weakminded ignorant imbecile
I'm astonished I even knew of such big words

You couldn't be more right
Everything you say is so bright
Thanks for showing me
How truly pathetic i must be
A lot of people patronize me and I'm sick of it
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