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971 · Sep 2016
I need
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
I need to clear my head of all this demise
I just don't have the time
I need to focus on me
But honestly, I am limited in my choices
Just got diagnosed with mild scoliosis
Knew without knowing all along, had it for years and just found out.
I am really thinking hard about college.
964 · Jul 2014
I don't want to be in love
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't know I exist
I don't want to be in love with someone who can't love me
*But mostly,
I don't want to be in love with someone who will use me like air, treat me like nothing, and throw me away like trash
Love is so complicated
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
"Tonight," you said, "I only please you."
"But, the catch is  I'll start out slow, and when you moan I'll go faster. And if you talk I'll go faster than when you moan."
Oh, what did I do to deserve you
I thought, with a huge smile on my face
Can't tell that to a girl, and expect her to not get wet.
947 · Nov 2015
Back seat
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Feeling your lips meld into mine
We reveal
As your lips makes its loving trail it burns a pool deep below
Your hands cup my body
How can hands so small have such strength?
You slowly feast on my body on your way down
Getting to what you really want
What you say you need
Love, you have it.
"It's yours
It's yours
It's all
all...
all yours..."

I melt all over you
Just the way you love it
"Look what you did to me."
She smiled so happ**ily
God...
944 · May 2014
Again
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
Again
You hurt each other again
You hurt yourselves again
You loved each other so much you hurt each other with it
Again
It all happens again
He still loves you
He'd do anything for you
See how sad he is?
Yeah
I see it too
It rips both of you apart being friends and even more so apart
Again
Again
Again
Again
Why be together?
Why be friends again?
Why be apart again?
Something this self destructive can never be forgotten
Can never be undone or erased
Again
Again
Again
Again
This all happens again
The self destructive bomb of two broken hearts
One trying to move on
One trying to hold on
But both never enddingly hurting each other
Every second
Of everyday

This all happens
*Again
And again
And again
This is about my friend and her ex. They are friends. I want them to be separated cause they are hurting each other. My friend is trying to move on, her ex trying to hold on.
942 · Apr 2014
Life let me go
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
Life let me go
There's nothing to hold onto
Nothing
Cut my string
   give the rest to someone who deserves it
End my life line Life
Life, friend, you're holding onto nothing, just like someone who holds onto the love that is no longer there
If there's nothing to hang onto you're falling
Life let me go
There's nothing, nothing good what's so ever by holding on to me
But if there is I don't know it
So tell me
Tell me if there is
I know there's nothing
No one wants to know my story
My story is not worth your two cents

*Life loves everyone and when it's time death falls in love with you too. And life may miss you while death has given you his kisses, but after a while, you may fade away from life's memory.
931 · Oct 2015
Inside war
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
This war is ripping me to shreds
My mind, splattered with so much red
My heart, a rag doll to a dog, stricken with such great regret
My eyes don't want to see it yet
I have nothing, I know nothing anymore.
928 · Sep 2016
Goldie Locs
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
She taught me that if the first one isn't just right try again
She also taught me that each try that you risk could be fatal or peaceful
She taught me you can't walk into the beast's home without being aware of it
These stories have been giving me comfort the past two days.
925 · Dec 2014
Kill me with your love
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2014
**** me with your love
Suffocate my soul with the flowers of beauty
Listen to my heart beat faster knowing I'm closer to dying
Listen to my song of heart
Just let our love tear me apart
Listen to the words I'm saying
Don't you know what I am playing?
I used to love you now I don't
Why do you think every I love you tears me apart?
I just can't stand it
It's killing me
Your love is too much to bear and mine has long left me
Just let your love **** me
It will be the end of me anyway
This feels like a song. Right?
It does to me I think.
925 · Mar 2017
Gone vs stay
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Some people don't realize they've had a good thing till it's gone.
Some people don't know they have a bad thing so long as it stays.
924 · Nov 2015
Nottie to the thotties
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
I can only go by what your profile tells me
Doesn't really let me get to know thee
But you pretty
Someone I'd like with me
Look what your cuteness does to me!
Can't help but be hot and bothered by such a hottie
But I found out you were such a thottie
Especially with the ladies, ****** never got that naughty naughty
But I really like your body
Too bad you a thottie
Thinking about this fine *** girl I met on Facebook. Don't know for sure if she a thot doe lml. However I have been through such a situation though.
921 · May 2015
Autumn
Chalsey Wilder May 2015
I am autumn
I am the changing colors
The chilly weather attracting sweaters
I am the dying flowers, closing up till another spring that life welcomes
I am autumn
I am crunchy cushiony pile of fun
I am the pumkins baking in the oven for Thanksgiving
And the decoration for Hallows eve
I am Autumn
Sometimes more beautiful than Spring
919 · May 2014
I may find that one day
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
I find that everyday's dull and grey
And I'm left to rediscover it on my own
I wake up to see the same display that I can't get rid of
I've come to see that one day everything dies
I've come to see that everyone lies
i've come to see that people just survive, and try to love to stay alive
Some just try to stay together and not fall a part
Nothing matters
Everything matters
With so little time
With so little space
Everything matters
And yet
Nothing does
Nothing matters to me but writing
Being mortal, having achievements does matter
Cause after you're dead those are the things you're remembered for
Being immortal, you have all the time in the world
up until the world ends that is (which isn't that far away in my belief)

But I am mortal
I want to be a writer to show people my age and younger that language is beautiful and is still alive
And to keep it alive!!

I may find that one day people will be too far gone and I may be in heaven or hell
*I am forsaken
hmmmmm
911 · Nov 2015
Smile so fake
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Don't you feel the hate
When you possess a smile so fake
Doesn't it hurt your face
To create a smile so fake
Does the pain get erased
When you possess a smile so fake
Doesn't it stretch your muscles the wrong way
To create a smile so fake
Is it happiness you create
When you smile so **** fake
Or is it calmness that you make
When you create a smile so *fake
909 · Oct 2015
Noticing you're gone
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Because of us both
We're each other's poison
Leading anything with each other to be a toxic void
I don't know why I miss you
I don't know why you're so bent on being stuck in my mind
Cause you're in there almost every time
I'm losing it
Maybe I should cry on it to wash it away
Maybe I should pray for a cloudy day to cover it
Or maybe the sun to bleach the **** out of it
Maybe there's a cure
Oh, don't think I haven't gone searchin
I have, but I'm unsure of my destination
Like, how far along am I?
How much more to grow?

I'd really like to know
If I'll ever have someone who'll make me glow
It's not impossible I hope. Just incredibly difficult.
908 · May 2014
Direction
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
I ponder
I wonder
The streets of my mind
The heat of what's mine
If you have ever lied
If I will ever cry
Nope nope
Just something to think about on the streets of my mind
If you ever plan to walk down my roads
Just know,
They have no direction
So you will never be lost
You will never be found
*In the streets of my mind
On the roads of what was mine
Something I thought about, but now that I look at it it doesn't make any sense.
Oh well.
Enjoy c;
907 · Sep 2014
Nonexistent you
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2014
Nonexistent you
You make me want to see the next day
You make me love every minute of life
You make my heart feel lighter
You remind me how dark I am
You make me want to open up to love and life

Just like you're nonexistent, these feelings are too
;-;
904 · Mar 2017
Break up
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Not everything or everyone is for a lifetime
But for a season
Sometimes you come across them only for a certain reason
Learning is caring, cruel
Knowledge is carrying wisdom to the fool
The personal price is set once you take the risk
"At what price?"
"My happiness."
Breakups aren't that bad
901 · Oct 2015
Baddest bitch
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Mamma ain't raise no *****.

Actually, she did. And I'm the baddest one you'll ever come across cx
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
History's repeating itself
In a lot of different ways
Just think about it...then message me what you think
888 · Apr 2014
A night of sin
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
Rain water soaks me
You undress me
You dry my body with your lips
You hold my hips with your finger tips
Your touch burns my body with original sin
You look at me and ask "Are you ready?"
I look back "Yes." I say, "Don't ask again."
Our hips now connected
We both gasp and sigh
as our connected hips move together
The looks on our faces after we're done
The looks of sighs and pleasure
My head fits perfectly in the hallow between your neck and shoulder
Our eyes flutter closed and what we did is repeated in our dreams to relive again...
Another ****** poem. Enjoy
877 · Dec 2015
My head
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
I somehow over complicate things in my head without even trying to.
It's aggravating
875 · Oct 2014
Faking it
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2014
I think I'm faking it
Faking orgasums
Faking feelings
Faking being a good person
Why do I feel so fake?
I feel so confusing
I confuse even myself
Especially when I confess my fate to my heart
My heart still hopes, and I'm trying
Oh, so trying so hard to break it and grind it into dust
I feel fake
Everytime I don't say what I really think
I know how my words would crush hearts on the verge of tears
And I care enough not to let good hearts cry because of me
I still feel fake, I feel trapped, unfree
17 years a slave to society and counting
I wish I could run away, disappear
*But like a slave, I'm still bound in chains
;-; ummm....
871 · Feb 2016
Reality is not so real
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2016
Hm.
I wonder.
What world do I live in?
None of this can be real.
None of this can be real.
None of this can be real.
NONE OF THIS CAN BE REAL.
*Do you realize how insane we are all going?
866 · Jan 2014
Heart of crystal glass
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2014
My heart of crystal glass
easy to break and easy to see though
easy to drop into a million pieces
and easy to crack open and feel the words that don't exist inside
You hold my heart in your hands
My heart beats and thumps along with yours and beats faster
you feel my heart racing and you embrace me even as I fall deeper in love with you
Your not afraid to catch me, but I'm afraid you'll walk away and decide that you don't need to or want to catch me
and that's what breaks my heart the most
losing your love for me and leaving me alone with only the earth to catch me

I love you
861 · Dec 2013
Swore
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2013
I swore I would protect you
I didn't
I was to busy to see it
I didn't pay attention
I couldn't see what was hurting you
Then I realized too late
your glass was overflowing
your plate collapsing with all the weight and the pressure
The weight that crushed your heart
The thing that flooded your soul
The boy that left your heart pulverized and your soul water damaged
I didn't know it was that bad
I wasn't able to see with all the problems in front of me
I didn't see the obvious
that you weren't okay at all
you were right and front of me and i still didn't see
the way your voice changed,
the way your clothes changed,
the way your face looked like you always got done crying,
or the weight you lost and the new hallows in your cheeks and your rib cage jutting out
I didn't see any of that and neither did anyone else
we were all caught up in our own problems to notice you
I didn't know until after you were dead what you were feeling
and I can never forgive myself for it
I cry every night because of it and can barely breathe when I remember the old you
or the you you were after he had broke your heart
and i hate myself for not being there, cause if I had you'd be here with me
happy and alive, but i was clueless and young
now I know better than to lose another friend
and now I know I'll see you again
I miss you everyday and wish I'd told you I love you
854 · Nov 2015
The Valley
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
I'm your ****, I'm your pope, I'm your pastor baby
Confess your sins to me while you *******.
The valley by Miguel.
I'm not sure why but these are my favorite lyrics in the song.
854 · Jul 2016
Brick
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2016
Brick
Brick
Brick
Falls
Building a house
Building an empty home
That you will always live in
Where you try to fill the house with your comprehension
But without intentions
You trap yourself
You become your Hell
But some will never tell
The time you spent in jail
Hm. Don't know where it came from. Just thought of it on the spot.
849 · Jul 2013
Mirror
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2013
Here I am
In front of the mirror
With him behind me
Loving my beauty
But when I turn around, he doesn't exist
And we can only see each other in the mirror
In my dreams I see him in a pool of water and I've only seen him beside me in my reflections
My mirror
The only source of my very fantasies
That I just feel I can't live without
Because the world is so empty,and,yet so full of everything and nothing
But no matter how good he makes me feel in my dreams or in my mirror
It hurts that I love him,thou he's not there
And what the mirror gives me is worthless in reality
Because it keeps me hoping he's out there even when everything is telling me he's not
And I guess that's why I need that mirror
It gives me my hopes, my dreams, and my impossible meanings
So, I guess it's not completely worthless
What the mirror has given me
It isn't just hope, or a dream, or something I just can't reach
But something I can try to achieve
to make me happy
In the mirror, he sees this sad cruel world I'm in, trapped and unsafe
He wants to get me out, but can't
The mirror only shows us what we want
And what I want, is for him to be here with me
And it can't, it doesn't have the strength to
No one does
But the reflections in that mirror only act out my pain
The pain of what I'm missing
And the painful stare of the truth
840 · Jun 2013
angels
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2013
The angels with their halos glowing showing their innocence
The beauty of their pale or perfectly tan skin, glowing with purity and light
The soft silk gowns they're wearing falling down below their knees flowing down their skin more beautifully than a waterfall
And their long beautiful silky hair flowing down their backs like roasted honey
And their harmonic voices
Would bring such resounding beauty to a deaf person's ears
The sight of their beauty and purity would make a blind person cry to see such beauty
The angels bring all they are into this world
Giving us miracles that bring our faith back
And giving thanks to them once they're done
828 · Nov 2015
Inexperienced
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Truth is
We're all inexperienced
I may never experience one thing like another
But I still understand your human feelings, my fellow brother.
( :
827 · Jun 2014
Phantom
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2014
You're so broken you're on your knees
You're alive but not living
If I could I'd bring you back to life
And that's a promise and definitely a lie to be told

You are your own resurrection
I cannot help you at all
If you fall I will try to catch you
But how can I catch you, if you are only a phantom of what was?
You'd slip right through my fingers like grains of sand in an hour glass
Just like you did with my trust
It slipped right through your phantom fingers

How did I ever think you were real?
I should have known those whispered words were nothing but wasted air and time
I could have sung songs of whispered broken hearts instead of listening to the nothing that is you
So from now on I will sing of phantoms, phantoms like you
The ones that use souls up and tell lies and break people's trust
*I wish I knew just what you were from the start
But how could I when I was blind from seeing right through you from the heart?
Do you think I could write good song lyrics?
824 · Mar 2017
Forgiveness (10w)
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Forgiving myself was the hardest of all.
I forgive me.
Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself
823 · May 2015
No question nor any answer
Chalsey Wilder May 2015
Suicide isn't the question
Nor is it the answer
The world is **** near emptied of hope
Who are you to say what's normal?
822 · Mar 2017
"It takes two"
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
I wished this
I wished that
I regret I let my tongue get caught by the cat
I regret I saw all the red flags
And ignored it
I've taken responsibility for that
I didn't make you do any of those things
I can't take responsibility for your acts
It took two
If only I wasn't the other half
At least it never got that bad
I know I'm slightly hypocritical
Because
I'll still laugh at these ******* who choose to spread their own legs yet find every excuse to blame everyone else but themselves
I can't say I'm perfect
Cause there's no such thing
At least I can say, I'm better
I can't hold my tongue any longer
**IT MAY TAKE TWO BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE TO WALK AWAY FROM THE CONSEQUENCES
If you don't want the consequences and the other person does or doesn't want them or care then it's YOUR job to walk away and YOUR choice to actually do it.

*Of course when you only think about yourself that is where the stupidest choices are made*
821 · Oct 2015
Dear Chalsey,
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
So, this is the moment you become the most light and empty?
Why do you have to be so homely?
Baby, you don't see how your heart has value
Someone wants it,
Someone needs it
Don't let your heart be your prison or your poison

Yours truly, *not me...
Not me...
819 · Oct 2015
"In your head"
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
I can't help it
I get confused
So confused I start believing everything is the enemy
I spring everything up for questioning
Lots of people say it's just in my head
But if it's just in my head
How can I be so sure that isn't in my head too?
If it's in my head it's in my head.
If it's in my heart it's in my heart.
But I'm unsure what's in either.
817 · May 2014
Tell me why
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
Just tell me why
Tell me why you cry?
"Because of the pain."
Just tell me why
Tell me why you can't cry?
"Cause this pain isn't enough to let it all out."
Just tell me why
Tell me why depression is addicting?
"Cause it's the only pain that they'll allow me."
Just tell me why
Tell me why you can't be happy?
"Cause I don't know how to, and I'm afraid."
*Just tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why
Just tell me why
815 · Nov 2016
Trump is president
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2016
This **** is gonna blow up the fan
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2016
Half through Midnight's slumber
I'm more awake than ever
My desires, my wants, my fantasies,
I realize them so much harder.

My pulse, it pumps the ecstasy
While your hand reaches in my flower
My soul, it simmers at the start
Then you showed what you could do with imitations of male parts.
Can't wait cx
810 · Jun 2013
what we live for
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2013
Do you want to know, why I feel this way
Asking why is like asking why the world is this way
Because there are few things to be happy about
It’s hard to be happy by the simplest of things
I wonder why it’s hard to be happy and easy to be sad
I wonder why it’s we have to work so hard for so much time, to get a few seconds of happiness
You might as well not work at all it’ll save you some time
And yet, you still work in a world of despair
Just to have those few moments of happiness that will never last forever
And I’ve just realized that’s the only thing we live for
To work as hard as we can to grasp those few moments of happiness
If that’s all we do in life, what happens after life’s over
Do we still work or something else?
I wonder, I really do wonder why we do the things we do and how we feel about it
Because if this is what we live for, then what we die for should be worth dying for
What we live for is happiness, pleasure, and comfort
In a variety of ways what we live for can be done in either a good way or a bad one
The bad things we live for like revenge, corruption, and dying
But the things we live for the most happiness, joy, freedom, and love
That’s the only thing
That keeps us from destroying ourselves
Life is fragile and hard at the same time
Fragile because it can be crushed like a butterfly or shattered like a dream
Hard like ice, and has the carelessness of fire
All I say is true, and I have two questions for you
What would you do in the moment of truth?
And what do you think we live for?
Answer that for me
810 · Oct 2015
Goals in progress
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Oh, I'm a ***?
With no life and no meaning?*
You say you don't give a **** about me
But you still look at my social media doe!
Oh, I'm glad for this information
The more I know, the more I start to care less
The more I think I feel my power depress
I really need progress

Cause my goal ain't to care less
It's to move on and not to give a **** at all
If you really don't care, you really don't care. Oh ****
810 · Mar 2014
Am I worthy?
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
Am I worthy?
I'm not sure I am
You don't listen to me
I don't see anything happening
I prayed to you years ago
Four almost five years have come and gone
Were there too many prayers in the world that you skipped over mine like I was unimportant?
So am I worthy?
I'm still not sure
Cause I'm still at least hoping
You'll make things right
Have you heard my crys?
My silent screams?
I'm not sure you have,
cause I'm still crying
and I'm still screaming
Have you heard the whispered thoughts in my head?
I have
I hear them sometimes
when I lie in bed
with my eyes closed and my lips slightly ajar
I cry on the inside cause can't cry on the outside no more
My outside looks different than my inside
You've must have seen
that darkness in me
and heard my silent screams
You've must have seen past my outside and into my inside
Hallow, dark, silent screams, blood and pain everywhere
And the shadows that close around me
You must have seen
Everything
Even the things I haven't yet seen
Am I worthy?
I honestly don't know
And I don't think I ever will
Please
If you haven't done anything
Tell me
Am I worthy?
Was I ever really worthy?
*~Chalsey E. Wilder
Just something I've been feeling. I believe God is real and that he is good, but I'm losing faith in him slowly.
809 · Jan 2015
Truly I hate you
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
I hate you truly. Truly I do.
Everything about me hates everything about you
There's nothing you can do
You made that willing mistake a long time ago
I was with you till you betrayed me
You betrayed my trust in you
Now there's a never fading scar on my body because of you
All my hate, anger, and rage inside is just for you
Oh, but I won't do anything to you
I'll just wait till the moments due
When Karma will reign in on you
And hopefully, I'll be there to see her work destroy you
Wrote this for my poetry class yesterday.
808 · Mar 2017
Easy(If I wanted it to)
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
I got off easy
I realized the consequences were so little, it could be nothing
If I wanted it to
It can easily never have happened,
If I wanted it to
I could easily get rid of this confusion
I know myself
Myself could never understand
But I understand this,
*You only exist when I want you to
At least it's easy.
795 · Mar 2017
Happy birthday
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Today, you turn 13
13 years of living
Yay Ashanti,
You've made it another year cancer free
Let the rest of your life be disease free
Happy birthday little sister
Here's your present, now stop annoying me
Lol. My sister's birthday is soon
794 · Mar 2014
Silent screams
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
My silent screams
My silent pleas
My mouth is open, but no sound is coming out
no words are forming
My mind is full of empty promises and lies
My heart is thumping madly loud
And my pulse is racing my silent breaths that come quickly
I take in one huge breath slowly
my heart thumps
my soul readies itself
my lungs expand
my pulse races
I let out my silent scream
It's louder than hell
But it's more silent than a rose petal
It's loud to the people that are able to hear it
But silent to most people
I stop screaming
I'm still screaming
I thought I had stopped
But I had never stopped screaming
while the tears of sadness and frustration stream down my face
*And no one's heard me yet
Chalsey E. Wilder~
793 · Feb 2014
My lust for death
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2014
Why do I still feel like dying?
Why do I feel so ready to push a knife through my heart, and happy to feel the pain of my life bleed away?
Is that strange?
I don't know if it is anymore
And that makes the choice even worse
~sigh~
If only for it was my time
I'd lie in a restful peaceful slumber
A slumber that would last forever
and makes this life seem beautiful far away and ugly right in front of me
That life is right now
Not in front of me
And I can only wait for it to end or to end it myself
for which I can't
Death has laughed at me many a time and I seek him everyday
When I'm alone and weary
I wish for his embrace and his cold death kisses touching my lips and helping me fade away from my misery and into blissful death
Everyday I wish for this but I never receive it no matter how hard I've tried to touch him
He's too far and too wise to let me touch him
Oh Death, how could I miss you? How could I crave you so deeply, when we have only brushed paths but never met or seen each other?
I've been feeling this way for years now and it's only been getting stronger.
789 · Oct 2015
Different types
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
If there's different types of love,
Then there can definitely be different types of trust
To an extent.
775 · Oct 2015
For this picking
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
What's the hold up?
Why are we on pause?
I'd suggest you start warming up
If you want an early surprise from Mrs. Clause
I have red ruby lips for you to kiss on
I want you to kiss me till I'm fully breathless
I really want a large ******* to sit upon
**** me till my screaming is all helpless
First, **** me like you love me,
Then **** me like you hate me
Eat my ***** like a savage, it's all warm and tasty
Baby, if I squeeze too hard, don't quit licking
It'll be all worth it for this cherry picking
I gots bars!!! Jk. But writing this was really fun.
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