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731 · Mar 2014
Silent screams
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
My silent screams
My silent pleas
My mouth is open, but no sound is coming out
no words are forming
My mind is full of empty promises and lies
My heart is thumping madly loud
And my pulse is racing my silent breaths that come quickly
I take in one huge breath slowly
my heart thumps
my soul readies itself
my lungs expand
my pulse races
I let out my silent scream
It's louder than hell
But it's more silent than a rose petal
It's loud to the people that are able to hear it
But silent to most people
I stop screaming
I'm still screaming
I thought I had stopped
But I had never stopped screaming
while the tears of sadness and frustration stream down my face
*And no one's heard me yet
Chalsey E. Wilder~
726 · Apr 2014
Ever lasting love
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
The moon gave up her light to the sun and that's why the moon isn't fully lit. The sun shown his light on the moon cause of what she did for him and he loves her for it, he dies every single night to show his everlasting love for her. She comes to life at night to help people like she live, and she shows the spot light the sun has given her.
Another one. I haven't thought about Astronomy in a while, or philosophy.
I think that's what this is right?
725 · Mar 2017
Forgiveness (10w)
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Forgiving myself was the hardest of all.
I forgive me.
Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself
711 · Sep 2014
Wick
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2014
Please be the wick to my flame
Or I just might burn out in shame
Please be the passion of my fire
Or my poetry might make me a liar
Please be my ink and paper
Or my fire just might waver
Please become part of my solace
And I'll be your palace
And you'll be the wick to my flame
Not to burn out in shame
But to make a fire of eternal oneness
I am quite terrible at rhyming .-.
711 · Mar 2017
Happy birthday
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
Today, you turn 13
13 years of living
Yay Ashanti,
You've made it another year cancer free
Let the rest of your life be disease free
Happy birthday little sister
Here's your present, now stop annoying me
Lol. My sister's birthday is soon
708 · Mar 2014
River of lies
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
The river of lies
They're filled with tears
The tears of hearts lied to
If only mankind hadn't have existed, or were just honest
This river wouldn't be there
*And it wouldn't be the most hated or used
707 · Mar 2014
Lonely silence
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
Lonely silence is the loudest silence of all
You always notice it
It's in the air around you
And inside of you too
And when you get home
After locking the door
The silence is louder
You set your keys down on the table
Goto a fridge full of food, but there's nothing to eat to make this lonely silence go away
You go up stairs to your bedroom
To a neatly made bed and books scattered among the floor
You take off your jacket and clothes
Then leap into the shower
You can still feel the silence
And it's weighing you down
You slide down to your knees wearing a frown
You want to cry but sit there till the water runs cold
Then slip out and put on a night gown
You lie in bed thinking this boring life never gets better and will I ever get better? Will I still be lonely forever?
Then you close your eyes as billions of the same questions run around your mind just like every night
Then you fall asleep
After drinking your bottle of solution and downing all the gin you could take before finally dying
And now you've woken up from a dream you were hoping was real
Just like every night
*It's full of lonely silence
There's a difference between silence and lonely silence. There's also another silence in there. Hope you can guess it.
702 · Jan 2016
35 year old boy
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2016
Take that ******* with shards of glass
And shove it up your ***.
You have no right to call yourself a grown *** man
You have no idea what one is.
Dedicated to Curtis T. Brown. The "man" who is hypocritical and contradicting himself. A real man wouldn't be like that. Not even close. Not an ounce of a real man would be like that.
700 · Mar 2017
"It takes two"
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
I wished this
I wished that
I regret I let my tongue get caught by the cat
I regret I saw all the red flags
And ignored it
I've taken responsibility for that
I didn't make you do any of those things
I can't take responsibility for your acts
It took two
If only I wasn't the other half
At least it never got that bad
I know I'm slightly hypocritical
Because
I'll still laugh at these ******* who choose to spread their own legs yet find every excuse to blame everyone else but themselves
I can't say I'm perfect
Cause there's no such thing
At least I can say, I'm better
I can't hold my tongue any longer
**IT MAY TAKE TWO BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE TO WALK AWAY FROM THE CONSEQUENCES
If you don't want the consequences and the other person does or doesn't want them or care then it's YOUR job to walk away and YOUR choice to actually do it.

*Of course when you only think about yourself that is where the stupidest choices are made*
700 · Oct 2014
I wish this would end
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2014
I wish this **** would end
This mass destruction
This mass corruption

I wish Pandora's box could be resealed
Not concealed
With rumors and lies

I wish that it would end
It's getting worse and worse
Pandora's box is blasting
The corruption is spreading and causing destruction
The terrible truth concealed With rumors and lies

I wish to grant my freedom with these bottle of pills
As I sit from the top of my prison hill
I wish it would end... ;-;
699 · Feb 2015
God was never here
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2015
Standing at the cross road I sang his name
The one people always mentioned when they found out something shocking
God was never here
This place is a barren grave for the forsaken
No flowers were ever placed here
No plant ever grew here
God was never here, but this barren land still has some beauty
God was never here
And it was never ashame
698 · Oct 2015
Dear traveler in my brain
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Stomp on the breaks!*
There's this invisible wall you were about to crash into.
Turn around, take a left, maybe we'll be safe there.

I honestly don't know where we are,
I've been all over this place a million times but it changes so much I couldn't give you correct directions for ****.
I ain't got no map
No GPS, no uber.
Couldn't hear that, say it a little clearer?
Why don't we just go back?
What you want isn't here

Double back, take a wack
I shouldn't always make suggestions
This was your idea
I didn't want any complications.
Down the roads,
Up the rivers,
I found fool's gold
And you caught the shivers
What are we even trying to find?
We'll know once you see it, they said.
Hmm...
Thinking about mind travel cx
695 · Sep 2014
My weakness
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2014
My weaknesses are many
My mind is my strength and weakness
My every breath has me thinking, reeling
At the facts of life
My weakness is depression and oddly, it's my strength
It taught me how cruel life is
Even in its time of beauty there's something ugly behind it, and you see it eventually
My weakness is my mind because, it tricked me into thinking I'm ok, that I'm fine and dandy
Then when my focus slips, when it's quiet, or when I'm alone it torments me with imaginary images that never seem to go away and I fall deeper into darkness, into abyss and it makes me think it's home, it makes me think it's what I deserve
Alone
In a hollow shell of a home
And the funny thing is, is that it's making me learn to accept it
694 · Aug 2014
You know me?
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2014
Oh, you think you know me?

Do you know what I think about and struggle with daily?
Do you know what truly lies in my heart?
Do you know how I think of myself?
Do you know the terrible things I wish I could do to myself?
Do you know my hopes and dreams?
My disappointments?
Do you know why I'm depressed?
*Sorry, but you don't know me
;-; no one knows me
694 · Mar 2017
Easy(If I wanted it to)
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
I got off easy
I realized the consequences were so little, it could be nothing
If I wanted it to
It can easily never have happened,
If I wanted it to
I could easily get rid of this confusion
I know myself
Myself could never understand
But I understand this,
*You only exist when I want you to
At least it's easy.
694 · Jul 2014
Don't tell my secret
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
I have a secret, don't you ever share it
I have a secret and I can barely bare it
I don't say it out loud
Don't let it whisper from your lips
Don't let it slip
Don't let it fall like the rain you set fire to
Don't have it leave like the person who abandoned you
Don't even think it
Don't even blink those tears into existence
Don't do anything
Just like society does everything
Don't tell it.
691 · Aug 2016
The thing about choices
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2016
How is it healthy and "good parenting" to let your child do things with consequences they cannot handle because they are still a child?
"They'll do it behind your back."
And?
That doesn't mean to give them permission to do it.
"It's their body and their choice."
I don't give a **** about that.
I can't listen to a hypocrite anyway.
I bet if they wanted to drag knifes across their skin you wouldn't be preaching that, so shove it up your ***.
Just because it's "their body" and "their choice" doesn't mean they should be making that **** choice.
Their choices do not only effect them
**Point.
              Blank.
                            Period.
"...Children and teenagers shouldn't be having ***. It's an adult action, with adult consequences with adult responsiblities that will only end their childhood faster. Teach them everything they need to know about it, yes. But they should not be doing it. At that age. ****, I know plenty of 'adult children' who shouldn't be either."
"It's been happening since the beginning of time. It's their body it's their choice."
"You know what else has? ******, ****, womens opression, circumcision, religion, cults, and the list goes on. Girls as young as 13 would marry(and have *** with) men as old as 85. It does not mean they should be doing it. And that further proves my point. We're supposed to be moving forwards not backwards, no wonder why we can't move forwards, you want to teach selfishness. As long as you decide to teach and pass down selfish mindsets humanity will never get better. And so long as you kiss your children's *** they'll **** on you till you put your foot down."

People need to realize that not all of their choices only effect them. Your choice can literally change your life and the people you live with for better or for worse. And the choices you choose at an early age like *** can for real make the rest of your life harder if you become a parent too early and have to end your childhood. Enjoy being a kid for as long as possible.

....

Adult children- a person (no matter what age) who thinks they can make pleasurable or beneficial adult decisions in the moment and don't want to take responsibility for the consequences of those adult actions afterwards but will claim to be an adult because they make these adult actions.

...
This poem isn't to make anyone who disagrees agree. If you don't agree just keep it to yourself.
688 · Feb 2015
Wolf eyes
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2015
Wolf of my eyes, please choose wisely
Don't go for the weakest prey
Crawl under the heavy leaves before you come and get me
I am the black shading you seek
I am the strongest amongst the meek
The ruler amongst these trees, am I
I am the shadow behind your eyes
Choose wisely, Wolf of my eyes
687 · Jun 2013
shadow
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2013
They say enjoy what you got while you have it
Well, what if you don't have anything to enjoy?
Like a shadow, miserable and meek
That's just what I am, a shadow
Doomed to walk the earth, to hide behind everyone's face but my own
And doomed to never be seen by someone you love again
Grey and dark from the inside out
The evil taking away every shred of humanity
However the shadow can't take my every feeling away from me
Especially love, nothing could take that away from me
Not ever!
That's the only brightness that shines within me
And hurts not to share it, not to show it
There is no way to die, and there is no way to live as a shadow
The urge to hurt people is too heavy, too strong
Almost too strong to fight, almost too much to please
The never ending thirst to feed on weak souls
Withering away onto the brink of death, but never dying
And on the verge of life, but never living
Death is what most of us shadows want, but never get it
So we're all lost and never will be found, always hoping we will be
685 · Oct 2015
Hypocrite
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Why tell me you miss me?
You threw that **** away after swearing you never wanted to lose me or leave me
Don't bother to promise anyone anything
*If it was the truth, then they melted into lies
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
I'm not a boy right?
I'm not some ******* **** on the street
I'm a female because of my body parts
I'm supposed to know how to cook, clean, and groom myself
I can wash my ***, boil water for noodles, and I can brush my hair and teeth
Shouldn't that be enough?
No it's not
I have to loose weight because I have no business being that big, I should be a size zero
I'm sick and tired of feeling horrible everyday because of how I look
I'd be better off dead

You say these hurtful things like I don't even know
I know I'm over weight
I know I'm not the prettiest girl out there
But you reminding me, and pointing out what's wrong with me isn't going to help
I'd be easier to be a boy, I hate the curse I was born with
681 · Oct 2015
Sad reality
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
When you look at someone
And I mean really look
At the good,
At the bad,
And you find that they're worthless more than worth it
But still somehow managed to want them anyway

*That's the sad reality...
I wonder which one hurts more...
681 · Mar 2014
Love
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
I find you so scary and amusing
I'm scared to experience you
And I find how amusing it is that people are controlled by you
I'm scared of falling for someone
Someone who's going to break my heart to pieces
I'm scared of hurting more than I already do
You're amusing
Cause I don't think you can touch me
And if you do I can escape easily
I know it's not true
That you can't touch me and I can run away from you without you catching up to me or coming back
I'm not clever nor cunning enough to do that
I never want you to touch me
That's maybe why I hate being touched and touching other people
Or feel you
But I will

You're scary and amusing
So light and heavy
And you help fix and break hearts
People who use you breaks hearts
People who are broken sometimes get fixed by you
Saved by you
I find you scary and amusing
*And for a good reason too
I find love so scary and funny
677 · Jun 2014
What society does
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2014
It's hard to see the good when you're only shown the bad
Thought of this while daydreaming
673 · Jul 2016
Harrow
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2016
I am so sick
I am so tired
My eyes droop when my mind goes to wander
I'm losing myself,
My health
I just want my eyes to shut
And never be awake
I want to roll over and die
But is my soul my soul to take?
I won't be happy either way
Being on earth only adds the pain
I can't feel anymore in order to continue
I can't think anylonger than half a moment
Cause any moment I can explode
All these feelings I withhold
**Says, I just can't live anymore
I wish this **** was already over.
671 · Oct 2015
Wanted
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
I never wanted an apology,
I just want my life back.
I just want my breath back.
What can I get back with a sorry?
*Nothing, and that's what I want you to mean
I hate apologies.
670 · Mar 2014
Blade
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
Blade at my neck
Lips have never touched this neck
The blade has never touched my neck or my wrists
It has never pierced my skin
It hasn't cut the veins in my wrists
It's been hovering over my wrists and my neck for years
Always waiting till I was weak enough to let it do it's job
To cut through my skin and ******* blood
And to feel the warmth of it flowing out of my veins
And to cover itself in sate
I've been weak enough to almost nick my skin
But I never let it slice me
Or dice me
Or slit my skin
Only a few finger ****** have happened
And that's it
Blade at my neck
The flat of it on my side
And blade at my heart to **** my emotions
And blade at my wrists to help my mental pain or to let me bleed out
But they're just hovering
right above my skin
Just waiting
Until I'm weak enough *to let them do their job
I don't cut. Never have. But I've imagined this many times anytime I think long enough. I'm sorry if this poem scared you!
663 · Jul 2014
What if
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
What if hell isn't below earth?
What if it's below heaven?
Ō-Ō
O-o
660 · Jan 2015
Blind to self beauty
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
Sometimes people don't see the beauty in themselves
Some people think they're ugly.
659 · Oct 2015
Not a Damn
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
She's gone,
but my heart's still beating
Must not have been a big throng
Cause my mind is deceiving
I have my wrongs
But my life does have meaning
With this kush I blow this ****
With this stone I keep my hone
Make this session long
I can take just being alone
But hey, I know my imperfections.
And hey! I know your sick confessions!

And here's a confession of mine,
I could never have loved you either way.
Fire...

The pen is indeed mightier than the sword.

Good outlet for anger too.
657 · Sep 2016
Accountability
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
After some time of reflecting
Understanding nothing you do on purpose is an accident or mistake
Only regrets
-Whatever you want to call it- but what you do on purpose is not a mistake
I could explain all day
I have complained in past days
But I'm the only one I can ultimately blame
I still made the choice
Too late to cry and complain
But every time I notice
That I regret it
And try to convince myself
I didn't mean to do it
And that life's always unfair
I have always been a hypocrite to be truthful, but everyone has, that is the good thing about learning from your regrets and learning from our history/ancestors/other people's choices. If we never learn from our regrets and try to get the younger generations to understand that and change we will never get better as a species. All I keep seeing is that we're copying so many of the wrong things. I can see it's effecting everything. I'm not claiming to be a human making perfect choices, but dang. Sometimes the choices we make make our lives come off unfairly.

I'm just simply getting a better understanding of choices.
651 · May 2014
One moment one day
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
One moment
One day
You will look into the eyes of the one that's meant to be
And it will feel like in that moment that you know everything about the one
That one moment
That one day
Feels like it'll never happen
But when it does
*It will hit your heart hard and it will leave a gapping ache behind that will always be there forever
Moments huh?
648 · Jan 2017
Wished
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2017
I wished,
With bitterness,
I had not said yes
The relationship was toxic,
it was my poison
I thought the fantasy of us was amazing, but void
I wished I had told you when you asked..
No,
When you forced me to be engaged to you,
To **** your **** self **
Should have sent all of that out the door
I cared when I shouldn't
I knew I never loved you, knew I never could love you
I felt I had to fake it
There is one thing I will never understand though
Why did I try to save you?
I knew you were lightyears away
Why didn't I recognize the symptoms right away?
For months I was sick from consuming too much of that *******
I was telling myself something before I arrived out of the hospital
I was telling myself it should be done
But all I was doing was playing along with *******
Harsh  I know. It's just how I feel. You shouldn't threaten to **** yourself to force someone to do anything.
647 · Nov 2015
Living love
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
What made someone fall in love with you is often what made them fall out of love with you.
645 · Apr 2014
Thoughts
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
I'm fat
I'm ugly
I just can't seem to do anything right
Why can't I look like her?
Why can't I get a guy or girl like him or her?
Why can't I be interesting?
Why can't I be happy?
Why can't I be normal?
Whatever that is
Will I ever be happy?

I want someone around, but I want to be alone at the same time
I want to cuddle up with someone, but I don't want to be touched

Why do I hate being touched?

It's weird
Touching someone
It feels weird
Especially when they touch me
I get aggravated when someone does that
      even angry sometimes

But then I think: who would love a girl who hates herself? How can anyone love a girl who hates herself?
Who would want a girl when she doesn't even want herself? How could they?

They can't

I don't know how to to love myself when all I've done was hate myself
I don't know how to accept myself when all I've been doing was trying to reject it

*How do you change yourself to look beautiful in your own eyes?
I still hate myself....
641 · Jul 2014
Lost and broken
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
Two roads
One a neverendding cycle
The other leads to a dead end
I'm lost
And this map isn't making sense
My crying isn't helping
Neither is the rain
Why does a broken heart bring about so much pain?
Which road do I take?
Should I turn around?
Is this just a mistake?
No
Turning around is just worse
**** it
I'll take the dead end
The tears are still falling
But I am now smiling
Life is but a road that ends
I just want to have fun before it says "DEAD END"
640 · Nov 2014
I shall never cry
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2014
I shall never cry
No matter who dies
No matter how hard the world shall break me
I shall never cry
No matter how many times my heart has been broken
No matter how much someone puts me down
I shall never cry*
*Just let my heart dry of tears and murk in misery
My mom made me cry yesterday morning. I wrote this today. Remember this future me.
639 · Jul 2014
Epiphany
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
I had an epiphany
It was so strange
I was looking at everything in a different way
Nothing was wrong with me!
I suddenly realized
There's something wrong with everyone else, not I!
I still may not be beautiful or perfect or anything
But I do know that there isn't a ****** thing wrong with me
I figured it out, and nearly gone insane
But it numbed me instead of exploding my sanity
I felt everything and nothing
My mind was moving and wondering the same things
The answers unknown
The questions never asked
Nothing made sense, because people's brains are dead
*They would say I'm insane for everything in my head
I had an epiphany.  It was pretty great. And now I'm throwing those anti depressants away
631 · Nov 2015
My Secret
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
The thought of even telling you makes every word possible to say escape me.
Not well at it. Trusting that is.
631 · Feb 2017
From: Past
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2017
To: Present*

You're walking a part of the road I left far behind
624 · Dec 2015
Good enough
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
No one is good enough for you,
That's why you go through so many chicks
But ironically, or not, you're not good enough for anyone else either.
I am going to own up to it.  I'm a very mean person.
622 · Aug 2013
Death
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2013
Death's welcoming arms
his warm embrace
him closing in on your soul
giving you the illusion of peace and warmth
you feel your heart beat slowing down
you try to fight it but you can't
Death feels so good but you can still feel the pain of being alive
you feel the darkness in your eyes
and the chill down your spine
you strain your voice to say something
Something like: "Please...forgive me" or "I... love you" or sometimes nothing at all
You let out your last breath and the person leaning over you is screaming and crying out your name, and you can hear it fading away as Death calls you
His song loud and beautiful and his voice warms you
He carries you in his arms and you wrap your arms around his neck
you close your eyes and wait for the beginning of your end
619 · Sep 2014
It's too late
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2014
Too late to take back what you said
It's too late to win me back once you've lost me, or, maybe you never even had me
I never love easily
I think I can fake it
I guess I can since I fooled you for some time
In a way I did love you
And I can tell by the time you gave me how much you loved me and how this was going to end
We dragged it on
Well, mostly I dragged it on
Not wanting to be single, alone, or lonely when I felt even more alone and lonely with you
I was confused and my mind still young and dazed
I didn't know why I was staying with you at first
Cause the first time I thought about breaking up you got shot
Then the second time your sister got shot
The third time I actually tried you talked me out of leaving
The final time I told it like it was, because I could no longer take it
I could no longer take feeling like the last thing you ever cared about and I just broke up with you
You didn't say anything
And of course I regretted it for a couple of days, but then I just stopped caring and moved on
Eight months I wasted with you
You said you loved me
But I can honestly say that that was never true
And I can be truthful and say
*I don't think I ever loved you too
About a guy I broke up with last summer in June. I'm glad I left him, but he taught me something too.
618 · Feb 2015
Are you happy with yourself
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2015
Are you happy with yourself?
You smile like Death with a knife (You smile like Death just got the joke)
You drunk the koolaid like it was beer
And treat everything you do like poison
Bad for everyone except for you
You are an unknown Mystery no one wants to read
Few tried, but gave up on the misery
You drunk the poison like it was wine
Bittersweet and something to help you sleep
You knocked back the pills like it was candy bites
And you laughed like Death just got the joke
What a big surprise
You were never happy with yourself
That is why you laughed even though you cried
613 · Dec 2015
Pleasure beyond limits
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
"It's too much
Too much
Too much...
I can't take it!"
I somehow manage to push her off
My body just shakes and quivers as if she's still eating me
I'm paralyzed from pleasure
I smile
I can only whisper
"Amazing. So amazing."
Your touch creates songs from my lips
Finally your lips find mine
"Sorry, I couldn't take it all."
"No worries. You will one day."*
She whispers as my consciousness diminishes
611 · May 2015
Loveliest of broken things
Chalsey Wilder May 2015
Oh, no!
          Let us
Rush from your hips
And grab your attention
Let us not mention
What you need
Let us not
Grab bowls full of greed
The tremors will come one day
That'll rock your world into something greater
Just you wait
She'll give you her everything
The everything she claims you can't handle
The everything she claims is limitless and **** near timeless from beginning with no definite end
It can last from hours to days
The sweetness she'll be milking from the shadows between your legs...
Girl, it's so enticing
The way we'll be speaking
In the nightly hours into the days
The way we'll be kissing till we're completely breathless
The way you'll lay your passion down on me, it'll be your little piece of cake
It's something to dream for and more
It's something to yearn for and beg for between bed sheets of my heat and your passion
The collision of our worlds becoming one, will be a magnificent one
Don't you dare hold back
I'll be welcoming your attack
I'll take you in till I can't anymore and then some,
I want you fully pleased till I'm beyond exhausted
Hopefully, your passion won't break me
And if it does, I'll be the loveliest of broken things
Maybe not a little piece of cake but the whole thing.
611 · Jan 2015
“Strong"
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
“Stay strong. Keep your head up."
Yet people always seem to weaken me
And my eyes always seem to seek and find the ground
“This is the storm that'll pass very soon. Don't worry. I'll comfort you."
I've had this storm for years, and you've left a long time ago
“You'll see. You'll be happy and wonder why you were depressed at all."
I won't see. Happiness is in a pill that I don't want to take
And depression will always be a lingering fate
“If you won't accept my advice. Go ahead then. I don't care what happens to you."*

You don't get it. *I don't care about me too
608 · Jul 2014
Me's
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
I wonder if anyone will actually see me. The real me. The serious me. The weird me. The rude me. The nice me. The me that everyone says that's beautiful apparently. I wonder if anyone will see through that fake me thing I use everyday. The fake me where I don't know what to say, the one that's always quiet because of what she thinks inside, the one that never really shares her opinions or feelings to the world when she wishes she could,  the one that hides because of the fear of being judged.
I wonder if anyone saw through my fake me. But I'm sure no one did. Otherwise I probably wouldn't hate me.
The me's in my life...
607 · Nov 2015
Luck bend
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Bend
Luck bend to my will
Give me something, and these ****** I will ****
Popping back some sleeping pills
Trying to introduce a new thrill
My emotions? I ain't got time to go up that hill
I need something new, something with some *** appeal
Something sweet, something I can devour in one whole meal
I need the energy I could get from a rock of crill
Time ain't cheap, life ain't trill
I'm drunk and ****** up
607 · Mar 2014
Torture
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
Torture finds you
And it slowly peels you open
While you go insane with pain
While you go insane from the silent screams in your empty quiet shell
While the whispered words start to sound like your own voice
And it kills you slowly
Aren't you supposed to destroy monsters?
That's why I should save myself before they turn me into one

I realize I've got to destroy myself
Too late
They turned me
And no one knows
I was once told
"Do you destroy monsters or be their friend?"
You told me "you destroy monsters. There's no befriending 'em"
Now I'm a monster
Which is why they're torturing me
I'm torturing me
And I'm destroying myself
Driving myself insane
And there was nothing to fix
Nothing to save
I'm just a girl who was never the same
I kinda feel a bit like this poem ain't completely right but eh. Give feedback please♥♥♥
Thank you
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