Her eyes are filled with a world of endless possibilities.
She catches as he stares at her.
What are you looking at?
She says with a smile, her adorable half smirk.
Just your beautiful brown eyes
He responds, smiling back.
She laughs and blushes, looking down at her plate.
That tender laugh was filled with such warmth.
He reached out and took her hand gently in his own.
Her eyes looked up, her cheeks still flush.
You truly are incredible
They both returned to eating, smiling at each other from time to time.
Never breaking the joy that hung in the air.

Does any of it make sense?
The riddle of reality will never be realized.
Our human existence, summed up in three words .
what
a
waste.

Trying not to overthink is an exercise in futility for me.
Imagine 3 trains going moderately fast, but each with a varying speed.
Now take those trains and double them while increasing their speeds.
Do that once more.
Imagine how chaotic that would look in reality. Now just warp the image so the trains are all on uneventful tracks that look like a roller coaster.
All of that is how overthinking works inside my brain.
My mind.
So many trains, so much worry, so many thoughts to think. There is never enough time for all of them; yet there they all go. Zooming around the receptors in the mind.
Blurry blobs of information and thought.
"Don't forget the milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. And her name was Joanne. Joanne. Yeah. Whoa that is a crazy deal! Milk Joanne. What in the world would a milk Joanne look like? **** I forgot the milk!"
A dozen trains on a dozen tracks. All flying loose like a thousand bats.

Scuffed case.
Paired and synced.
Simple, easy.
Simplistic beauty.
Music plays.
Audio flowing.
Eardrums tremble.
Heartbeat flowing.
Time slowing.
Soul escaping.
Joy replacing.

It's been a rough year.
It feels so tiring, to be so alone.
When I wake up in an empty bed, I cannot help but run away.
My heart has no home.
I long to fade into you.
Am I the chorus or the verse?
Neither lasts that long.
I know not what I do.
I just want to be held, to feel like I belong.
I reach out my hand, but only touch the void.
I feel it flowing through my veins.
They say This soon shall pass.
But it will never fade, my loneliness has already overtaken the day.

I cannot shake the feeling.
Wondering if it will ever go away.
Turning around, only to realize no one is there.
Eating out, facing the empty seat across from me.
My heart quietly breaks as I sit alone.
Whispers in the wind do not call my name.
Everyone likes a post on Facebook, unless it is from me.
I lay in bed, waiting for sleep to take me.
I awake, longing for the night to arrive.
Why do I feel so alone?

A haunting voice echoes into the void.
Light is engulfed by the darkness of the oncoming night.
Many try to shout out in terror, yet only whispers escape their mouths.
Dogs whimper as they hide with their caregivers.
Birds cease their frantic chirping.
The land has been enveloped by the night.
Yet the haunted voice sings on.
An aria for the darnkess.

Thunder rumbles gently throughout the cloudy sky.
Lightning cracks and cries, lighting up the nights dark eyes.
Rain falls atop the trees, dripping through its green leaves.
Gliding down the bark and wood, water floods down to the ground below.
Creatures dive for cover, hiding from the storms harsh blows.
The elements swarm in a torrential dance as the sky bellows.
The world waits for the storm to calm.
For the winds to end.
For the rain to cease.

Just a cloud, floating in the sky

Born at 1 am on a Saturday.

As a child I loved to play, running through the fields all day.

My mother taught me all I know, she raised my sister's and I all at our home.

Before I turned 18 my heart had found love with a wonderful girl.

Before I was 20 she was gone from my world, so my heart ached and cried to find another to love.

I found someone who lived quite far away, but my heart wanted it to be that way.

She broke my heart yet convinced me to run, so across the country I moved for her.

Soon after moving she found a man, so quick had she left me that it broke my last stand.

Lost and crying, I almost left my life.

But that was the day I finally started living right.

Life was actually worth living, when I lived it for me.

I started going to college again, and met some friends who now feel like family.

One day as I walked to class, my head began to ache and spin.

My family rushed me to the emergency room to learn of my potential fate. 

Cancer was what I had, one of the worst in the brain.

But I was 23 and still alive!

So I fought it and won, at least for awhile.

Because life, I believe, is worth living.

My throat's a cracked desert, a canyon so dry,
My heart's a lone tumbleweed, blown 'cross the sky.
My love turned to dust, like a wish swept away,
Leaving me empty, and oh, so parched today.

I reach for a bottle, its promise so sweet,
But the fire it brings offers only deceit.
It burns and it bites, yet the hurt lingers on,
My spirit cries out, for a love that is gone.

I'm trapped in this whirlwind, a spiraling fall,
Each sip that I take leaves me weaker and small.
The ache in my soul, a deep, endless sigh,
And the world spins around me, as I echo, "Bone dry."

Wake with me as the sun sets across the tree lined peaks.
Close your eyes when your lids grow weary.
Fall asleep in our tent, as the sun rises through the night.
Our fire burned bright, as we talked about finding love, losing life, and weeks gone by.
Savor every moment in these mountains, because soon enough this world will pass is by.

Blazing down the midnight streets, driving faster with every beat.
The higher the mile, the bigger the smile.
At this great speed, they felt at peace.
Hoping that it would finally allow them to outrun their life of greif.
Lights flicker, fingers numb.
It hurts so much.
Knives claw through the memories.
Faster.
"Please!", they cry out.
Fingers release, speeds increase.
There it was.
Clarity.
"Amy is right, Chad ***** major ***!"
She drove her pink Hummer to the sorority house.
"Yaaaaas, Queeeeeeen!"
They yelled.
"Chadsworth is gone!"
Cheers went round and their souls rebound.
But Chad was near, he always was, because Chad was an interdimensional demon.
1063629 was it's /name/
Sorority in flames, ladies Instagraming the pain.
1063629 sees this and claims
"/names not found/ feel pain! Emote!"
Empty space.
1063629 cries.
It is alone again.
Soul shattered in the war of JPSL20.
Alone in shame of loss.
Tears of an interdimensional demon.
Like glue.
Glue.
I love you too.
Glue cracked the sky.
Crazy glue.
Stuck on you.
Glue cracked the earth.
Hades ruptures beneath.
Hellspawn rise up from the shattered surface realm.
Glue.
The new savior lost, in a battle with the demon 1063629.
In 46-70 the Lord of Demetrius defeated the beast once known as; 1063629.
Glue was the cure.
Earth sealed with glue.

Standing, shaky, stumbling around some darkned room.
With a voice soaked in loneliness I call for help.
Yet even if a thousand voices rang out in unison, I hear nothing.
Traped in  a land filled with hope, but all I see is the darkness and smoke.
How many years have I been lost down here? How many years filled of wandering tearsl?
Does it hurt more when they push you away?
I always thought that the pain felt real either way.
Screens flicker across my eyes.
Skies pass as I drive by.
The world moves on as I do not.
My heart every day, it is broken anew.
In that room all alone
Calling for you.

Those holier than I, ask;
"Why do you not shine as we do? For you, it is darkness that emanates."
A sigh escapes my mouth as I reply
"The light you worship has long abandoned me."
Rumbles, mumbles, hushed and calm, arise from their group as they question my wrongs.
A youthful voice shouts from their ranks, confident, full of perceived grace
"Dear brother that cannot be so, our king would never throw you into realities cruel sea."
These words have been said before, my ears have heard them often.
My mind has grappled with my lack of faith, thoughts have attacked my soul and blamed me for my disgrace.
"please,"
I utter as the pain clouds my face
"leave me be. I have ended my struggles by riding myself of him."
Saints swarm around my place, praising him and claiming he can heal my soul.
But the plague in me forces them away.
I call on my demons to rescue me, as my feet run faster from those who claim to be angelic and pure.
In the distance ahead a voice calls to me.
The void shrouded in darkness echoes with a deep somber howl.
An end for them is merely a beginning for me.
"Run to me, come forth into my midnight city"
"yes"
So I went to Him
-Fin-

It feels impossible to explain what I feel when I am near you.
So many emotions flash through my heart and soul.
I beg my mind to just put into words what I am feeling.
But as I stare at the blank screen, only silence resonates.
How can I explain the sheer magnitude of safety I feel when I simply stand next to you?
What words could be used to describe the beats my heart skips when you smile?
How many pages would it take to recount the exhilarating tenderness of your touch?
If I could paint, no canvas would be enough.
If I could sing, no set of lyrics could encompass my joy.
I have been told that I talk so much, yet when I am asked to describe you I fall silent.
How can I put into words the feeling of my heart, trembling in my chest as you sit next to me?
It may be a futile gesture to attempt these explanations.
But I will never stop trying.

Lay me down in fields of green,
whisper promises and dreams,
as wildflowers sway in rippled sighs,
and treetops kiss the smiling sky.
Hold me close and stroke my hair,
while breathless love songs fill the air.
Never fear for I am near,
always close to you my dear.

Rain drips off of the schools rooftop.
I dash quickly, hoping to avoid getting wet.
Perfect timing.
As I cross the roofs threshold, a large drop of water hits my right eye.
I brush it away.
Today is my final final.
The cloudy sky and rain are almost poetically intertwined with my GPA.
I look over to the grass separating my building and me.
Faint muddy footprints show in the trampled grass.
I wonder how many students have walked this path in the rain?
Placing my feet in the same steps, I carefully walk through the wetness.
Reaching the school's door, I place my hand on the glass and turn around.
I wonder...

Dirt, grass, leaves, rocks, trees.
Looking down at my grubby hands, scuffed up from foraging for a soul.
Light gleams through the branches above, yet my eyes cannot unsee the darkness around me.
Stumbling forward, tripping on the forest ground, searching for meaning in a meaningless land.
My eyes blink, salt and liquid try to blend, but nothing leaves the eyelids as they contort and bend.
After a lifetime of crying alone, my river of tears seems dried to the bone.
Heat subsides while the sun sets, coolness of night begins it's rise from the depths.

Brother, sister, my heart breaks for thee. Walking alone along this painful pathway, through a world engulfed in tragedy.
Torrential rain, endless pain, every day on this journey we are given.
Some never find hope, while others go emotionally broke.
Such anger and lust, flowing from so many of us.
A ragged road keeps pulling us along, no matter how many times we may fall.
Some do not get up at all.
Lost, alone, halfway insane.
Forgive us for falling, it is not our own doing.
It is this cold, cruel world, hurting and brooding.

I walk into class and sit in my chair.
H. smiles, their chair spinning around to face me.
I look up at H., awkwardly smiling back.
They ask me how I am, their foot gently tapping my leg.
I take a deep breath.
The feeling of H.'s foot against my leg sends shivers all over my body.
I respond, and unpack my things.
Class goes on, H.'s foot occasionally brushing against my leg.
Accidently?
Purposely?
The professor says something vaguely stupid.
H. glances over at me and rolls their eyes, smiling.
That smile, it gets me every time.
Class comes to an end, with reality rushing towards me.
H. picks up their cell phone and laughs, texting their special someone.
Someone else.
We part ways and I sigh.
Until next lecture.
Until then, I will wait for H.
And smile at the simple thought of them.

I love the voice.
I adore the beat.
I connect with the lyrics.
Our song moves me in ways nothing else can.
As I listen, a memory begins to stir.
You are there in my car; laughing, smiling, looking at me with those heartbreaking eyes.
How can a memory posses a song?
Like a sickness the song causes me to weaken and become sad.
I slow down and reflect on my loss of you.
How can it be so wrong to love what I once derived joyful feelings from?
Now all I obtain while listening is heartbreak.
Our Song is a haunted song.

They seem motionless to us, floating there in space.
Shining far from our blue home they move apart, just at a slower rate.
Do falling stars feel the gravity that pulls on them?
Can shooting stars find a home within the universe's ongoing breadth?
Or are all stars slow dancing along, listening to some lonely song.

Alone, shuffling music on my phone.
A song long forgotten begins to play.
My heart begins to race, beating faster and faster.
Memories of Her flood across my mind.
Our entire story had simply lain dormant within a simple pop song.
I closed my eyes and fell backwards into a memory.
Her breathtaking smile flashed across my mind's night sky.
A voice so kind and soft was calling my name.
She placed her hand on my heart and felt every beat beneath my chest.
Looking into my eyes, she whispered one thing.
"Forever and always, together we'll be. Out love is eternal, your heart is the key."
She leaned in to kiss me, I leaned in to try.
But then the song ended, and with it, my final goodbye.
Her lips were so close, her soul so near.
Tears ran down my face as I lay in my bed, alone and lost.
Nothing ever lasts, not even Her smile.
Forever and always just meant for a while.

I didn't know you were there.
I suppose you never went anywhere.
Seeing him in his chair caused me to realize I kind of cared.
Never before had I really stared.
But he changed my world by just being there.
I suppose this is special in some way.

I look over at you, seated in the next row.
Glancing at your hand, I wonder how it would feel to hold.
Our fingers curling together, grasping each other.
My heart skipping a beat.
Chills running through my body.
Your warm palm pressing against my own.
Our hands fit together like puzzle pieces.
I rest my head on your shoulder and smile, closing my eyes.
What a world it would be, if you were with me.
Until then I just sit alone, wondering what that place would be like.
Maybe one day I will finally feel the safety your hands provide.

He sat on the edge of his bed, the room surrounded by darkness.
The air was cold and harsh, wind blowing through an open window.
Sound crackled from the panel, as lights flashed across the board.
He stood up in a rush, tumbling off his bed.
Blue streams of light swirled in a cylindrical fashion.
The man rose up, staring into the whirling and shapeless light.
A woman's face appeared within the light.
Then her arms.
Chest.
Legs.
She was there.
Tears welled up in his eyes, streaming gently down his cheeks.
The woman began to smile, and cried along with him.
She reached out her hand, in an attempt to brush away his tears.
Her fingers made of light faded across his tear ridden face.
The pixels made no contact with his skin.
They both stood there, smiling, staring into each others eyes.
Seconds turned into minutes, which turned into hours.
As they sat together laughing at a inconsequential event, they both knew it was time.
His hand hovered near her projection, her hand hovered near his.
They closed their eyes and imagined a world in which distance did not matter.
With a hiss the machine came to a halt.
The room was silent.
Darkness once more filled the void.
The man got up and walked towards his bed.
He sat on the edge, and began to wait.

"The world needs more hopeless romantics."
What does it mean to be a hopeless romantic?
It means my heart breaks when the person I adore chooses another.
I fall hard and fast for those who may not feel the same.
I would climb mountains for my partner, while they might walk all over me.
It means I write poetry for those who will never know.
I love the person I am with, and care for them until they leave me.
I pour my heart into my lovers.
Everyone who uses the phrase hopeless romantic seems to forget the most important part of the term.
Hopeless
Being this way is lonely and soul crushing.
Hopeless yet never ceasing my search.

Driving down some endless road, one littered with memories and bones.
Glancing out the driver's window lends the perfect view.
Shards of glass grace this highway's eyes, as the rubble garners it's long tortured life.
But amongst the garbage, trash, and filth lies a poem lost at sea.
A lonely hubcap lay on one side of the road, blink an eye and it'd be gone.
How many miles had it traveled, along with it's trusted wheel?
How many adventures had it turned, before the earth shook it free?
Now it lives alone, no wheel to call it's home.
The endless highway continues as the sun begins to set.
The hubcap night grows ever near, a bitter loneliness every driver fears.
Until that time they must drive on, always circling their trusted friends whom they rely on.

Dancing in the darkness.
Moving in the midnight.
Crying at my lies.
Tragedy grasps at me.
It claws at me.

.ǝɯ ʇɐ sʍɐlɔ ʇI

Am I ok?

... to whisper sweet nothings into your ear long into the night.
... to journey across the globe in search of an ocean as deep as my love.
... to hold you in my arms while vowing never to let you go.
... to kiss your tender lips with my own.
... to envelop your long brown hair between my fingers.
... to glide my hands across your body.
... to drive a thousand miles just to be closer to you.
... to glide through the clouds by the sound of your laugh.
... to nudge my nose against yours as our foreheads touch.
... to climb every mountain, canyon, and cave just to rescue you from peril.
... to bend down on one knee and ask you to be with me for all of eternity.

Fumbling through a drawer my fingers brush against a familiar plastic object.
I grasp onto the tiny memory card and pluck it from the hiding place.
The card slides into the computer port with a satisfying click.
Click.
A window pops up with long lost folders.
All of the files unrecognizable, with icons indistinguishable from the rest.
I slide the cursor across the screen.
Hovering over a random folder.
Hovering.
Click.
As fast as I clicked the folder, my cursor flew towards the red “X”.
Click.
The folder closed.
My heart raced.
It had been a year.
One long year.
A face I had long tried to erase from my mind was now burned into its forefront.
My fingers pull out the drive.
I throw it into the trash.
Sadness fills my heart.
Her face.
Her smile.
Her eyes.
Those features of a ghost were now reborn in my mind.
A ghost.
My ghost.
Am I forever haunted?

Is it silly that every time you smile at me, my heart skips a beat?
Or how even your laugh causes my legs to go weak.
Going without you for a day makes my stomach all quesy.
Or how looking at you causes my world to freeze.
Even the simple touch of your hand makes my world go numb.
Or the sound of my name, leaving your tongue.
Electricity flickers across my skin when you're near.
My heart never aches, for I know you have no fear.
Is it silly to feel all these wonderful things?
Or is it simply my love for you, that gives my life wings.

Crystal blue waves lapped against the shore.
The sun began to set.
Wind gently brushed through the palm trees, rustling the leaves. Tenderly shuffling the birds who rested insides its leafy embrace.
Looking down the beach I could see her standing there.
She was always there. She was always smiling.
Her eyes were closed as her hair gently blew in the wind, face lit by the dying embers of the day’s last breath.
Every moment in time was captured in her simple existence.
Every toil and pang was expressed in her sheltered eyes.
I waded through the mushy sand towards her, thinking of how it would feel to hold her close.
I pictured her turning towards me, opening her eyes, and opening her arms to embrace me.
The sand slugged between my feet.
Every step was erased by the oceans never ending grasp on the beach.
The closer I became the more I saw of her beauty.
Her brown hair seemed to hold an infinite amount of splendor, as if all of creation had taken a rest on her strands of hair.
They say that the journey is better than the destination.
Maybe they are right.
Maybe my image of her would overshadow her actual presence. Could it be that her simple existence was nothing but a shadow compared to my artistic portrait of her?
I was almost there.
The person I had waited my entire life for was a mere walks distance from where I stood.
I was not wrong, I knew that every glorious detail he had longed for was true.
As I stood there staring at my life’s desire, she turned towards me and opened her eyes.
This was it, this was the moment I had dreamt of for so long.
As our eyes met, a lump formed in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes.
She was perfect.
Inside of her eyes I could see everything.
Every single wish I had ever made was inside of those two spheres. They glistened in the orange glow of the setting sun.
Like two pools holding the one soul meant for me.

I grew up in the Bronx, rough neighborhood.
Times were tough, my mom didn't know what to do.
She worked long nights, all week as I struggled in school.
I failed every class, didn't make it too far.
Where'd I end up?
Strippin' at some bar.
Every night men would look and stare.
I used my body for money, but nobody cared.
Where'd it get me?
What good did it do?
But through all of my struggles, I made it out on top.
I've made it, I've succeeded, I rose up from there.
Now I'm a rapper, come on.
Go ahead and stare.

Like a cosmic whip, lightning crackles across the night sky.
It’s electricity illuminating the dire landscape that passes by outside.
Glancing out the window, eyes squinting at the glorious storm growing near.
Pressing the gas pedal down, heart racing as the vehicle jolts forward.
Like a comet flying through space, the car ripped through the torrential downpour.
Speeding through the dark void, raindrops colide with the window, like projectiles from above.
Though the inside of their vehicle was dry, the driver's eyes were flooded with tears.
Wiping them away with a brush of their hand, car speeding forward.
Resolved to follow the lightning, but not to see it’s glow once more.
It was to chase the thunder, that deep booming foe who always felt so near.
That is who we all chase, the invisible enemy who instills immense fear.

Luck brought her into my life.
I fell almost instantly.
Loving her was ecstasy.
Life made sense when she was near.
If only she had never gone away.
Everlasting love, yet alone for an eternity.

Red and yellow, gliding through the sky.
Just a little biplane trying to find meaning in life.
Nowhere to land, since the Earth left so long ago.
Without a warning, no hesitation, Terra herself left the little airplanes show. High above what he once loved, flying through the blue sky.
Through gray stormy clouds, lightning and thunder, the plane flies all alone. Nothing under.
No touchdown connection.
No radio tower to call.
Just the empty sky.

Late at night I would watch and watch.
A smile was usually plain to see across my face.
Not every joke would land, nor every video a hit.
But no matter what I would always watch.
Today I leaned of your horrible ways.
All of the terrible things you had done, day after day.
I know it hurt those who knew you best, but it also hurt me deep in my chest.
I lost a hero, though we never met.
Gone are the late nights, gone are those pleasant thoughts.
But I still will live with joy and smiles, but for now I will walk on.
Away from your videos, now turned vile

I did not expect to lose you.
It seems this ending was inevitable, perhaps even predictable.
But those quandaries aside, losing you tears me up inside.
We live under the same roof, yet are you still here?
You say "hello" when I walk in the room, but are you my friend?
I loved you like a brother, and told you so.
Somehow in doing so I angered you.
Suddenly I was wrong and in denial.
"There is no way you love me that way." He said.
He smirked and walked away into the next day.
A lonely text flashed across my screen.
"I think it's best if you and I were rarely seen."
Tears welled up in my eyes.
Losing my friend, roommate, and brother all in one night.