right choices
at the wrong time
bad choices
at the right time
choices
that change your life
unexpected consequences
contradictions
leading you
in arduous paths
which will condition
your trip
deviations
that turn against you
choices
of which you will regret
every moment of your existence
choices
you have not completed
lack of courage
that you will regret
until you run out of breath
leaps into the void
clashes
wounds
choices
unavoidable
words
that define your being

every morning
I wake up
and realise
you aren’t there
every evening
I fall asleep
proud of me
because I survived
another day
without you

addicted
turning on you
you’re more toxic
than ******
scroll fluid
in my veins
you're dangerous
a sweet poison
harmful to my health
I fill myself with you
of your essence
every fiber of me
wants to feel you
your voice
your words
your smell
your hands
your mouth
light me up
and raise me
to dizzying heights
and they throw with me
in adrenalin
descents
that leave me breathless
you’re never enough
darkness takes you away
and I’m  in withdrawal symptoms
you’re  hot oil
in my veins
burn
my nervous system
my heart
is covered with pus
a thin and  unquenchable
itchy
crawls under my skin
my brain cells
seeking frantic
satisfaction
in wrinkles of memory
dig every corner
crave a drop of you
forgotten on  the bottom
of an empty bottle
you’re toxic
abstinence
doesn’t give me  peace
I’m alienated in a whirl
of strobe lights
sweat
dehydrated
confused
find me
take me
save me

Your eyes don't see me
I talk to you and you don't hear me
I can't reach you
A layer of rubber covers you
I would like to tear it up
and yell at you
All my love
All the love you gave me
My pain feeds on
your unwitting words
Fragments of you lost
One tear at a time
Fragments of me torn
Thrown into your oblivion
A crumbling rock
I fight with a sword of nothing
I can't win
I can't save you
I can only love you

ask me if I'm happy
don't stop at the smile
ask me if I'm happy
go beyond the appearance
ask yourself if you're happy
the real smile is not seen
it's tattooed on the heart

again
I’m crashed
against the wall of solitude
again
the flight of waiting
inexorably went down
again
I'm not even worth a no to you
only silence
absence
[ ]
I’m alone in my lonelyness

two souls
two worlds
two parallel lines
....
single thread

no reason
just lies
but
my heart is waiting for you
my eyes are looking for you
my dreams live you

your absence
a black board
a white chalk
that clashes
and chills

your absence
an interference
on the radio
a jarring noise
that covers the music

your absence
an interrupted signal
heart
brain
a flat line

a buzz
the only sound in the dark
ah !
disappointment disappointed !
never butterfly
flew higher

young  emotion
enclosed
in an inexperienced heart
enclosed
in a tired heart
with a  heartbeat
forever young
as a bud
forgot
hidden
in
a withered
fruit

you showed me love
you taught me the beauty of forgiveness
you taught me to laugh
but your eyes don't smile at me anymore
they're enveloped in a suffocating fog
this emptiness weighs
I can't find words
That can cover the silence you left

I saw a turtle
slow walking on the road
a child kept it
He  laid it in a field

I saw a fish
abandoned on the rocks by the sea
a child saved it
he left it in the waves

I saw a child
barefoot running in a field
a man  mutilated him
he hidden a mine underground

I saw a child
on the sidewalk with his bicycle
a man killed him
drunk driving

I saw a child
I saw his purity
I saw him become a man
I saw his disillusionment

is the age that changes everything ?
is the self-awareness that changes everything ?

it would be better a pure heart
compared with a mischievous mind?

maturity
is companion for strength selfishness ?
success
is it the natural evolution of opportunism ?

we grow up learning
but what is the lesson?

is it perhaps that the adults
have to learn the greatness from children ?

which  is
the true utopia ?
dreaming of becoming big
or dreaming to go small ?

two bodies
merged into one
two souls
intertwined
one drop
after the other
I drink
thirsty of your essence ..
the fire raging
the immortal flame ..
heated lava
burns our souls ..
we are aware thieves
of passing emotions
lost and found
.. the timeless hour
not the time
not the distance
not the wind
evanescent reality

i can fight
against giants
i can fight
against appearences
i can fight
against prejudice
but
i can't fight
against disappointment
of your surrender

I’m no daughter
I’m no mother
born under a cabbage
only worms
as my fellow cradle
I crawled
on barren land
my ***** and scratched  skin
covered with calluses

I’m no daughter
I’m no mother
born under a cabbage
I fell
the icy water took me
but I was colder than it
the current  carried me away
I climb on the bank
I was clean

I am mother
I became  daughter
I palpated
happiness

it's forbidden to write about you
it's impossible don't write about you
i need to write about you
getting out words
is like getting out pain...
to write about you is my pain
it's forbidden to write about you
it's forbidden to think about you
you are forbidden to me

you're gone
all words
have turned to ash with you

fake stars
in the sky
fake you
in my mind
fake all around me

I flight
in a pink sky
that glows purple
pushed by a lightly breeze
that becomes storm
I taste
a slow pleasure
that becomes suffering
I feel
a growing need
that becomes instinct
I burn
of a flame
which becomes fire
I’m  consumed
by a hunger
that satisfies my senses
a passing wait
for  a throb of delight
here …
ecstasy
arrives!

I ask
I answer
I nod
I get angry
I yell
I love you
I cry
I get excited
I suppose
I survive
in an loving monologue
infinished
...
or finished?

you said I'm gonna *******
I heard I love you
you said you're hot
I understand you're beautiful
you slapped my ***
I felt a caress
you said it’s over
I opened my eyes
you said get away from me
I felt cold

too much selfish
too much altruism
too much hate
too much love
too much hope
too much disillusionment
too many expectations
too much erudition
too much ignorance
too little respect
too little condescension

too much  selfish
leads to indifference
too much altruism
leads to cancellation of himself
too much hate
leads to war
too much love
leads to obsession
too much hope
leads to utopia
too much disillusionment
leads to resignation
too many expectations
lead to frustration
too much erudition
leads to the illusion of omnipotence
too much ignorance
leads to  unconsciousness
too little respect
leads to arrogance
too little compliance
leads to loneliness

what is the right way?
an excessive too much?
an apathetic enough?

maybe
diversities
of our lives
of our lies
of our perceptions of truth
of our perceptions of justice
maybe
our too much
or too little
or enough
are the aequilibrium
of our world?

maybe
the anachronistic belief
of  the different awareness
perceived as a resource
not as the tendency
of standardize everything
in a fake flat same
would finally
lead
to peace

strawberry juice
vanilla and salt
fragrance of the must
smell of rain
a frozen lake
a shooting star
music and poetry
red and black
a patch of moonlit
the stormy sea
a hot bath
a fire on the beach
and more and more  ....
I feel
in your mouth
on your lips
when hold in your arms
you kiss me
and your eyes are still clinging to mine
your kisses...
my breath !

like a wave
patient
crosses the ocean
to break on the beach
and finally
rest
I through
my entire  life
patient
to arrive
one day in your arms
and finally
feel at home

so fragile
so complicated
so naive
I was waiting for you
you didn’t have a face
you didn’t have a voice
you didn’t have a body
you were a dream
my dream !
I knew your embrace
I knew your smile
I knew your warmth
….here you are!
your arms
protect me
your mouth
gives me the oblivion
your eyes
give me the peace
I'm your
and you’re mine
fill my empty
sweep away my fragilities
don’t leave me…
I ‘ll be cold
Don’t leave me...
my heart would become ice ...
so fragile…
it would be blown to pieces....

the hooded man
came in without knocking
nobody
kept it away
frozen terror
flows in my veins
I'm cold
I'm so cold

and yet
I need you
a leaf a flower the wind
bring me back to you
you appear
you rise in my mind
suddenly
inevitably
unavoidably

and yet
the sun has risen and set
the flowers have faded and blossomed
without our voices
could recognize themselves
without our eyes
could fascinate themselves
symbiotically
united in another place

and yet
you were there
you are there
you'll be there
our lines confused and indivisible
oblivion
hopeless fight against myself
it is a perpetual magic
transposition of reality

and yet
I wait
I wait for you
in our secret garden
where only you can go in
just you have the key
where
silently
I love you

doubt
makes me weak
empty pauses
heavy thoughts
of confused glimpses
jealousy
makes me insane
elusive dramas
icy waves
drag me
far out
insecurity
makes me a stranger
stunned mirrored
a cruel eco
evoking
perennial fallen petals
my soul
isn't me anymore
a white ash shade
spreads on my
winters

you look at me
I look at you
you look at me

you look at me
I close my eyes
and .. you look at me

again and again
I feel wrapped
by your gaze

a rainbow bird
imprisoned
in a golden cage

settled
silent
on a flowers swing

an amber powder butterfly
locked
in her silk cocoon

dense twine of looks
and static silences
and broken wings

my name
a whisper
sweet and warm
just to hear
its  melody
you told
and fill the air
of you

your name
a whisper
sad and painful
just to hear
its melody
a memory
to fill the void
you left

a sharp sense of unease
growing inside me
anguish!
an icy grip
is rising up from my guts
I perceive a liquid flowing
relentless in my tissues
is crushing  my lungs
compressing  my heart
the space available to me
suddenly
become narrow
the horror
arrives in my throat
taking my breath
my dry mouth
bites of a thousand pins
irritate my skin
I have to run
I must run away…
I need some air
a scream invades my mind
I don’t know why
I still don’t know why
but I feel it!
I hear you!
you call my name  
you say you love me
I feel helpless
life that lets you down
an icy mantle
covers me
I slumped to the ground
while
a distant voice
calls me
but I know
I know it all
I love you too
I whisper to the shade
slipping away

I stare at the sea
calm quiet gray
warn its apparent calm
its whisper
invades my mind
I perceive its smell
intoxicant

I feel the sea
I know the black
of its abyss
the fury of its wrath
the cry of its anger
I see the myriad colors of its soul
it slips inside me

I listen to the sea
it confides its mute secrets
to those who can feel it
ubiquitously divided
between the shadow and the light
empathetically
connected with the depth
and the surface

I envy the sea
strong decided transparent
selfishly
stretched himself
to its pleasure
Pied Piper
tormentor and muse
greedy and shameless

I stare at the sea
personification of life
illusive chimera
of fullness
unattainable
..... unattainable!

every whisper
every wish
every tear
every smile
is you!
my entire life
all my feelings
all my moods
the best part of me
is you!
I don’t know why
I don’t know how
I don’t know when
but
I know
this is our sentence
and our nirvana
you are
my perfect half
and I’m yours
wherever we’ll be
whatever we’ll do
we’ll feel each other
two pieces of one
deep love
true love
nothing else

sometimes
loving you is so hard
sometimes
the right way is no way
but
just now
and ever
i know
the right way
is ..
loving you

made of clouds
evanescent
vagabond  into the sky
waiting for you to look up
before the wind
dissolves me

fallen
in  a reality
made of cubes
huge cold cubes
your dreams
shot down
by inability
by ineptitude
by your limits
defined by the black voice
of a giant nobody
shouting
your occured
conscious mediocrity

I opened
a beautiful mysterious closed vase
A deep  punch
Crashed me into darkness

as a generic medicine
exposed in a drugstore
no one knows your name
they take you
because you have a low cost

I wait
I wait
I wait
then
I die

a faded picture
consumed by hopes
softly entrusted
to the wind
a music
far and slight
played by a record
scratched by dust
and time
as the weight of your naked body
over mine
it is now the oppression on my chest
for the lack of  who
should touch it
as the beating of your heart
under  my face
rubbed on your skin
rough and hot
it is now the  arid ticking
of a clock
that relentlessly  articulates
the minutes of our us
without you
as your scent
harsh and intense in my coilings
in my flesh
it is now the salty smell of my tears
impregnated into a pillow
cold and crushed
by the weight of my desolation
as the strength of your back
who supported  my weakness
it is hard today
the regrets wall against which I slam
to escape from the fog
as  your sweet whispers
slipped on my skin
in my hair
it is now icy and lonely
the breath of the night
that  invests me with its petty hissing
as your soft caresses
that insinuated  into my expectations
burned by your touch
it is now violent the hassle
of a  crumpled sheet
that brushes me
wilted and warm
of an unknown  heat
my eyes closed
I meander
lost and exiled
in thoughts imprisoned
in the pages of a diary
tattooed on my skin
until the penultimate page
and then again from the first
in a circle
vicious and delicious
of passion and love and obsession
who lives and relives
until the dawn of a sunset
that should never get
until a last page
deleted
don’t read the end

every fight
every intention
collaps
inevitably you
as flush in my mind
no relief from you
not the evening
my free thoughts
to wander in the dark
run to you
not the night
in flights of my unconscious
I drown in your arms
not the morning light
my eyes closed
my heart awake
every single weak heartbeat
is consumed in you
inescapably you
tangled
to me
your thick scent
gelatinous shell of every atom of me
obsession
passion
pain
persistent hum
every fight
every intention
drown
surely you
sweet poison
poignant languor
eager anticipation
of an instant
of authentic
essential
abandonment

I say go
but I mean stay
I say enough
but I mean again and again
I still love you
forever
I love you
I say enough
I move away without turning
waiting for
your hand should hold me
I say enough
your silence screams
.. enough

how can I survive?
after that
after you
I'm so angry
you abandon me
you leave me alone
why?
I weren't ready
not yet
I feel guilty
I know it's not your fault
but
I'm so sad
I'm so lonely
I don't know how going on
and you aren't with me
to teach it
no longer
who 'll dry my tears?
who'll lull me?
who'll listen to my doubts?
who'll calm my fears?
I need you
I miss you
there's a dark hole in my heart
you told me
be strong
I'll try
you told me
be happy
I'll try
you told me
don't forget I love you
I don't
I love you
I'll always do
I hope
that one day
I'll be hold in your arms
again
mum...

I found you
I lost myself

the moon in your eyes
the stars in your heart
your red lips open in a drunk smile 
in a trepidatious waiting
for a dawn that you still  didn’t see
for a sunset that you still didn’t  live
you're waiting
that the sun will warm you
that the sea will lull you    
you're waiting
crossed by a subtle pleasure ..
an excited fear .. 
that everything vanishes
as in a dream upon awakening
but the dawn
the sunset
the heat
the sea
so yearned for ..
worthless now !
finally
you feel
slipping on your rainbow
a kaleidoscopic emotion
while your eyes stars at his
both closed in a bubble

I stare your eyes
and I see love
I touch your skin
and I feel your warmth
I smell you
and I imagine a forest after the rain
I listen to your voice calling  my name
and I hear a symphony
I watch you
and I see my destiny

there’s someone in the shadows
I don’t know his name
I don’t know his face
I know his strengths
I know his bravery
I know his unselfishness
he hides the horror
he calms my fears
I smile ... I sing … I game ..
while he fights for me
he takes care of me
he gives up everything for me
he doesn’t sleep
he crawls in darkness
he suffers
he dies !
he is alone ....
he can’t have a family
pain, fear, absence,
he can’t
he does it for me
je does it for love
to allow me to be happy
to make me feel safe
He doesn’t know my name
He doesn’t know my face
but he takes care of me
... I know you
I know who you are....
... just a hero
my hero