new distances
old silences
"come-hither" gleams
I can’t touch you
I can’t feel you
a mound of distorted truths
is separating us
we were just two steps from the top
our fingers were about to touch
but we fell
in the frosty mud of exhaustion
I  saw the light shift
concealed by ruthless grudges
rediscovered enemy
illusory belief of a yes

I ask
I answer
I nod
I get angry
I yell
I love you
I cry
I get excited
I suppose
I survive
in an loving monologue
infinished
...
or finished?

I deleted your pictures
I deleted your email
I tore your love messages
I threw our songs

I can’t  erase my memories
I can’t erase your image
I can’t tear my heart
you've already done it

I love you so
I miss you so
I need you so

loving you
is so moving
missing you
is so painful
needing you
is so hard

you are
my best dream
you are
my worst nightmare
you are
all my wishes and fears

I can bear it
I must  bear it
you are
the blood in my veins
you are
the oxygen in my lungs

everything
in me is you
every tear
every smile
every sigh
is for you

my broken heart
is waiting for you
my mind
remind me you’re gone
each part of me
is fighting to survive

so please
let me save
let me breathe
let me live
hold me in your arms
love me

my name
a whisper
sweet and warm
just to hear
its  melody
you told
and fill the air
of you

your name
a whisper
sad and painful
just to hear
its melody
a memory
to fill the void
you left