a clean sheet
for a longtime
immaculate
empty
like me
like my soul
like my mind
no thoughts
soft shadows
impalpable
slivers of me
invisible
matched  letters
in a forgotten language

I was fallen through
broken and distorted
my wandering soul
into a black hole
I was ******
by you
rock of moon wires
fragments of steel
and silk wings
towards a pink dawn
floating breeze in the sky
meeting of souls
united and separated
touched
and
chosen
soul mates
satisfied and
finally
complete

I love you so
I miss you so
I need you so

loving you
is so moving
missing you
is so painful
needing you
is so hard

you are
my best dream
you are
my worst nightmare
you are
all my wishes and fears

I can bear it
I must  bear it
you are
the blood in my veins
you are
the oxygen in my lungs

everything
in me is you
every tear
every smile
every sigh
is for you

my broken heart
is waiting for you
my mind
remind me you’re gone
each part of me
is fighting to survive

so please
let me save
let me breathe
let me live
hold me in your arms
love me

your slow steps
move you away from me
they stole the music
all that's left  is the rain

end
three letters
three daggers
Stick in my hearth

This is the day
I knew
My limits
This is the day
You broke my heart

you don’t talk
yet it hurts me so much
your silences
badly concealed truths

a moment
a thrill
a flutter
it was you
inside me
revelation of
unknown love
unmatched and unconditional
I was afraid
ailing and exhausted
a shake
and I felt empty
without your weight on top of me
it was you
teared off from me
from your protected limbo
you
tiny and perfect
your scent
the first kiss
your hand close to mine
utmost and eternal union
an ancestral need
satisfied
your smiles
your first unsteady steps
the word mom
entrusted to the wind
a light  arrow
which pierced my soul
the first of the precious gifts
you give me every day
staring at you
discover shades of  life
being reborn
through your eyes
feeling the sensation
walking barefoot
on the fresh sand in the dawn
the pain
of suffering
the inadequacy
the insecurity
you fell
and you always
raised
the stubbornness
in your eyes
vigor
that marks you
a wild, pure and sensitive heart
proud
also of your weakness
and your mistakes
a great love
effused around you
to the people you love
simply
and shameless
you are a warrior
never stop fighting
listen to your heart
follow your dreams
willpower is the answer
you can get
on the highest peaks
the world is your
you just have to believe and to want
you were little and helpless
you are a man
imperious and fearless
I will observe and follow you
from my corner behind you
willing to let you fall
with a heavy heart
with an outstretched hand
ready to lift up you again
if you will want it
and always
my arms open
unavoidably
ready to welcome you
and give you
all my love

Sometimes
I only need
Someone saying
I'm here for you
No questions
No judgment

I feel you
I smell your scent
I feel your breath
I feel your whisper
I feel your absence
you're gone
but I feel you
forever and ever

the dawn tinged the horizon
and the illusion sprouts
like a gem
the ides of  March
inevitable
unbowed
it blossoms and grows
in the hourglass
time slips
careless
inexorable
the beat of my heart speeds
my breath is severed
the last grain of time
has settled on the load of my nostalgia
and the wait ends
every chimera collapses
in the emptiness of your absence
and the sun sets
darkness fascinates me
the numbness of sleep raises me
until the morning
and the vicious ritual
starts
again
and again
and you
you're not there

shreds of time
sparks of light changing
the world
fleeting revelations tipping
your presumptions
indelible strokes imprinted
in your bowels
impalpable scratches dragging
an eternity of memories

shreds of time
black lines defining the boundary
between before and after
inclement discharges breaking
your heart
rambling crackles resounding
in a solitary echo
unpredictable wrong notes
that marked
your life

I have many things to say
words to the wind
that no one
can hear
they’re only
sounds syllables letters
connected
without an order
confusion
madness
solitude
I’m an island
without landing
a boat without oars
...
I stare the horizon
and I wait

I get it
I believed
I thought
I suffered
for you
for us
for me
for my inability
to love you
again and again
I get it
that is not so
I
I am not inadequate
you
you do not love me
you
you want to possess me
your pride speaks
your cowardice
holds me to you
your selfishness
hidden by  layers
of mellifluous sensitivity
hits me
you
you want to hurt me
you do not even notice
what you say
you do not see
the bleeding gashes
you  keep leaving
on my skin
you do not feel
swollen and distorted scars
on my mind
on my heart
pains
you've inflicted to me
with your silences
with your absences
with your looks
with your words
empty and useless
and false
drawn with black ink
as the planned route
on a cold map
you see my pain
you see my insecurities
you see my guilt
and you walk to your way
heedless
you do not care
it’s been all about you
fake victim of the world
hidden
by a mask of dignity
papier-mâché made
glued with slime
script writing
for an ignorant audience
vacant and bigots faces
you speak
you do
you look
lies!
they’re all lies
black like  pitch
you pretend
you mislead
you are sneaky
with me
against me
I believed
I thought
I suffered
for you
for us
for me
for my inability
to love you
again and again
but I
I loved you
I fought
I gave
I kept quiet
I waited
gestures and words
that never arrived
I was
I was there
you could just have
to see me next to you
you've grown
our most beautiful rose
now
it is buried among the thorns
dry and withered
its scent
is consumed
in waiting wind
a persistent
moldy smell
into our  nostrils
I was alone
the only color
in a gray landscape
holding a watering can
without water
the fire has gone
no embers under the ashes
I get it
I am not bad
I am not inadequate
I am not inept
I'm not nonentity
I am
I must
I exist

they appear
and immediately
capture all the attention
lighting up the darkness
brighten up the night
move vivid ancient dances ...
unconsciously enchanting
small and majestic
naive  and strong
like fireflies
you’d put  them in a glass case
possession and protection
... but in a flash ...
they’d fall off
like fireflies
fullness and life ...
a flutter
a jolt that shakes the soul
like fireflies ….
appear and leave you speechless
intimate awareness of being alive ...
fullness and life ...
a flutter
a jolt that shakes the soul
sons …
passing…
consuming happiness…

a whitening smile
offers me
a mirage
dignity
pride
respect
love
but
all  I can buy
is
a  secondhand love

I wish
I could tell you
how much I love you
I wish
let you know
I'm next to you
I wish
I could comfort you
I wish
I could tell you
everything will be fine
I wish
I could believe
that will arrive soon
the moment in which
finally
you and I
will be together
I wish
but I can’t
I wish
that this world
don't divide us
I just wish
I could
tell you
I love you
staring at your eyes
I just wish
I could feel
the warmth
of your arms around me
I just wish
to know
you’re happy
I wish
but I can't
hatred keeps us separated
violence
divides us
your ideals
your selflessness
your bravery
your integrity
that I love so
keep us far away
I wish
you next to me
I desperately
wish
to find you
in a place without
war
I want
to believe it
I want
to hope
I just want
close
my eyes
and wait

a single moment of eternity
and i was yours
forever

a unfinished binary
the hands of a clock
locked to three
an old music box
covered with dust
a woman folded
into the shadow
broken
or just interrupted

like a red leaf
slipped on the street
beautiful and melancholy
apart from you
beautiful and melancholy
doomed to dry up

my heart bleeds
my body trembles
my eyes would like
don’t look
I'm afraid
but I don’t stop
I suffer
but I continue to fight
I don’t give up
to the injuries
I don’t give up
to weariness
I don't give up
to terror
I shout out
NO!
I'm not into it
I shout out
NO!
I want to be able to choose
It’s my law
it's my duty
I love me
I love life
I love color
I love music
I love dancing
I love talking
I love listening
living
laughing
playing
loving
accepting diversity
knowing
crying
choosing
I say NO!
I'm not scared

sometimes
I accept
sometimes
I don’t mind
sometimes
I cry in silence
sometimes
I endure
sometimes
I pretend to be right
no longer
stop!
it’s the time
I want to be
I want  live my life
completely
I want to be happy
it’s the time
it’s my time

a sign from you
and I stop
a word from you
and I smile
a gaze from you
and I tremble
a caress from you
and I melt
Liquid ahead of you
you're all colors in one
you're  my compass
you're my center of gravity
you're my nirvana
when you're there
everything
is intense
every color is vivid
every sound is shrill
the sky is infinite
the green is more green
everything is easier
everything finds its own place
nothing  is impossible
you're the best of me
without you
everything is flat
the music in me
turns off
disorder and impatience
mark
the faint gust of life
gliding beside me
without being able to brush me
a slow
ticking bottom
accompanies the wait to
the prelude
the symphony of music
and perceptions
of your return
and everything
can start again
and I can fly

I deleted your pictures
I deleted your email
I tore your love messages
I threw our songs

I can’t  erase my memories
I can’t erase your image
I can’t tear my heart
you've already done it

a dream
that's you are
just a dream
nothing else

a gesture
a look
infinitesimal interlockings
of thoughts and dreams
lightning awareness
to love you
and be loved

love
defeats me
you own me
no free will
you are my way

yellow turned into black
your blue eyes turned to dark
colors turned into fog

innocence, joy, hope
of a little girl
lost in a white room
a heart that beats wildly
in my ears
the only sound remained

a lonely tear in my eyes
locked inside
I can't get rid it
I hold it tight
like I hold you close

raw as a rock
crushes me
mighty like a meteorite
hits me
invincible as a bottomless
spiral
drags into the abyss
my fatuous beliefs
revealing
withered silhouettes
and
desolation

when the heart
decides to speak
it yells out
and the truth lights  the sky
when your heart
decides to speak
it scares
it can hurt
just another heart
can answer
and the truth will be light or dark
the time of truth
changes all things

there are  secrets
you'll never know
gifts  that you give me
thougths that melt me
they ‘re only for me
they 're mine
I retain them jealously
they make me feel special
make me the only one ...
there are secrets
you'll never know
because when
- oblivious -
you ‘ll stop
giving me these  precious drops of you
my pain
it will be a secret
you'll never know

everyone has something to say
everyone seeks  something
everyone seeks  peace
everyone seeks pleasure
everyone seeks respect
everyone seeks freedom
everyone seeks happiness

if my pleasure is your sorrow
if my freedom is your prison
if my happiness is your misery
where is the boundary?
where is the border between mine and yours? where does my freedom finished and start yours?

my own respect
involves not respect others?
to get to my idea of peace
do I have to fight others? S
say what I think
does it mean not to listen?

what is the boundary between good and evil? what is the limit we must establish
to not  undermine the freedom of others?
the limit is not itself
a limit?

our rules
are they both our opportunities?
shades and nuances and perceptions
truth true and built with reason
what is life?
is not everything and anything?
the lived and imagined?
agonist and antagonist?
reason and feeling?

don’t stop thinking
don’t  stop asking questions
don’t stop listening
don’t stop seeking
this is the life
imperceptible explosion
of codes and colors and luminous fluxes
slow perpetual motion
closed inside us

golden waves
wind slow
the leaden sky
smells like summer
the fine rain
smells of land and of you
the great willow
is our alcove
our moans
invade the air
your heat fills me
and satisfies me
your eyes invade me
interweaving of legs
and sweaty bodies
smell of rain
smell of  land
smell of you
panting hearts
heavy breaths
under the great willow
two souls  touched each other
and defeated

red shoes
cracked heel
a woman
folded in the shade
broken
or roughly interrupted


it was a caress
it was a kiss
it was a hug
it was love
it's a punch
it's a grin
it's scary
it’s infected love
my blind love
your sick love
it was air and light
it's metal flavor in my mouth
kicks in my belly
vomited words
our guilty love
hypnotic poison


yes
you can!  
**** me.
**** me !  
but  
before  
my eyes close
in the eternal darkness!  
please!
line to me  
I need the darkness in your eyes  
please !  
give me  
a last beautiful oblivion!



I lie
motionless
cold dirt  above me
badly thrown with the ****
wet  
by tears of those who loved me
your tears
your guilty love
there’s no more light
for me cold corpse
a flower into my hand
withered
food for worms
my end
your          END

                                       you, interrupted
                                          interrupted.
                                            your skin
                                            your eyes
                                           your heart
                                                off.
                                             un-love
                                          your tyrant
                                        too much love
                                          your mate
                                          closed eyes
                                            my fault
                                              hush
                                           my useless
                                             silent cry

yes
no
no
yes
i love you
i can't love you
i'm here for you
absence
please
please
be strong
say yes or no
be a man
decide.
i know what i want
is just you
what is your choice?

born, grow , learn ...
fall ..
get up ...
don’t  understand ..
trust !!
you
water in my desert
light in my darkness ,
hope in may desperation ,
you
peace and serenity
you
my absolute certainty
you
love
you
always with me
you
my life

blank stares
turned to nothing
fleeting gasps
tapestry
of lost emotion

singing your name
dreaming  your scent
smiling at nothing
just
loving you

I look for your eyes
in his
I look for your voice
in his
I look for your taste
in his
I look for you
in him !
I close my eyes
feel your skin
feel your hands
feel you !
your breath
your heart beating
I open my eyes
... and I see
the darkness

I thought
to be safe
I thougth
to be  safe
from the darkness
I thougth
to be safe
from you
but....
it was a lie
now ...
as before
as after
I know
I can't
it was only a dream
to be free ...
just a song
in the air
and I'm falling
again and again
a so good song
it was our song
I loved it
but you were mine
I hate it
because you aren' t mine
no longer
I hate you
because I love you

I didn't think it was possible
so intensely
inside me
so painfully
away from me
every morning
like drops of blood from my  eyes
but yet
this morning
I don't feel pain
finally I’m smiling

all your life
you expected something
you walked
you fell
you raised
your mind turned
on an invisible horizon
a worthless trepidatious
waiting
neglected
disappointed
aged
waiting
that silently moves away
a cold face
like the flickering flame
of a consumed candle
hot wax
that trickles
in cold tears
motionless

lies
empty sand pictures
heavy shadows of nothing
commercialization of dreams
daughters of a snake
with nightingale mask
stench of corpses
locked in a chest of violets
they hit you like a stones  rain
catatonic
dust visions

your hot body
your slow breath
your smell
being intertwined with you
you
my nostalgia
and my need

old woman

old woman.
you. are. old.
you feel old
you think old
your eyes
your shoulders
your skin
your heart
old !
adolescence is gone
happiness is your lie
no more light
only smog
in your eyes.
don’t distort the truth
old woman
this is your only reality

drunk
drunk
I’m drunk on you
crazy
crazy
I’m crazy for the love of you
lucidly
knowingly
sated
of it

a woman smiles
while walking alone
dragging her suitcase
she's happy
soon she'll meet her daughter;
a little girl
a red flower
in her hands
a surprise for mom ;
a man is working
the back hurts
but he resists .... soon he'll return home
his wife is waiting for him for lunch ;
two children crying
dad scolded them ;
one man talking on the phone
he'll sign an important agreement;
people
thoughts
smiles
hopes
life
...
a roar
a glow
a bomb !
everything stops
tears
fear
smoke
the ceiling on the floor
a flower on the ground
red into gray
a little ******* the ground
her mom will not come;
a wife at home
her husband will not be back for lunch;
...
a bomb
a flash
and it's all over
hope dies
buried by hatred
...
a red petal
and everything can start again

your slow steps
move you away from me
they stole the music
all that's left  is the rain

you are pure emotion
you are more than what I dreamed of
you are like the infinite that holds me tight
a breath that accompanies me
sliping  through my hair
immense and intense
you are the deepest part of me
you are the love that smiles
caressing my soul
and when you left me
you are a tear that comes from the heart

a light

in the dark