Why does the sun
Bother to get up
When all his children
Can't stand the sight of him

HE is the ultimate omen, the satan-slayer, the real mephistopheles.
he drips into my panicked mind like rancid blood, oozing into every
nerve and crevice.

stop; i'm already breathless.

there's no way you could dance through the shadows unseen, unheard, undetected.

but still, you bypass my every defense and creep behind me,

your aura radiates disease and ******, i feel your cold breath against my neck, and red is all i see.

my mind runs rampant with the ideas of the terrors that be.

i turn to face the awful red-death, the demon that makes god's army of angels flee.

he licks his lips and pounces only at me, i turn back and count to three.

the swarm engulfs my being with love and blood;
your horrific cleansing of amor among life in death sends a shock of terror among the world.

so insidious that the stars hide behind their veil of opaque mist.
little do they know that their pale haze is only a shimmer of anonymity.

the fire-baptism commences, and i can not feel the burning of unholy light.

this must be the end.

my blood turns to ice, my eyes see only streaks of apocalypse, and my mouth is sewn shut by the infernal creatures of purification.

the hellmouth speaks for me now.

the sleeper woke the world and it bled.
the flames of rebirth purged the world and devoured it.
the lover remains comatose and shattered.

seraphim swoop down from a silent heaven to clean the mess of a love too strong for one to bear.

blood oozes out of the ears of those too occupied and diluded to care

Research papers require
a disgusting amount of disease
and desire

So it's us against ourselves.
The mind is the adversary.
And what is that?
A mere dream within a dream.
What does forever mean?
Some hazy lines...
A blur of self,
A little talk,
Between you and me?

A heart lost in translation is in me, while forever is to be free of wonder.
Humans hungry for home and hopeful for hunger.
Life is one long plunder
For the lost ones of
Silent thunder.

Are these lost ones so lost?
Or will these sons of thunder
Flash like lightning?
How far do you have to go
Before no one understands at all?

As far as the fog found clouding the light that sits quiet in the souls of the stormborn.
The light that breaks the beaten barriers of sound and gives life to the lifeless.

That distant light called Hope by some;
A hope that may only protract disharmony.
A skillful prolongation
To the battered.
It is said that hurt is proof of love,
But what's left to prove
When the uncalmed storm
Engulfs us?

*By light I live, but by love I die.
Pray to every god that we are left in the eye.
The only proof we need is meaning, something bold to live by.
But we crave happiness, and there can only be one,
So what could anyone do but try and cry?

apollo's dead-set light shines on beauty.
the gushing of blood boils high in the guilty crowns of gored kings.

TO COURT BEAUTY IS TO BATHE IN IMMACULATE, ETHEREAL ECSTASY!

YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.

ichor spills in the cursed name of the light-born.
blessed with the scrutiny to scorch the iciest of hearts.

they sit on their faux thrones, just above Olympus,
with the wide eyes of wander and lust;
the bodies of gold and trust.

they sit high on their thrones,
with their own
black-light sun.

they sit on their broken thrones
stained with the blood of seraphim.

beings of smokeless fire burn away the truth

and we love them anyway.

hi there !
how are you, then?
really now?
oh wow.

let me grab a chair.
since when?
really now?
oh wow.

so that's why you wanted to share.
gosh, I feel ten.
really now?
oh wow.

really?
wow.

you really had me going at here comes love - POW
; man sorry -

I think we can talk about me now.

warning / disclaimer

LOW SELF-ESTEEM, BUT CAN SEEM HIGHER THAN QUEENS AND KINGS.

**************
totally cute at least one day of the week.
lots of emotions to love and beat.

under 18, so but don't worry ! ! !
you're probably not mature enough for me yet

anyway.

I like long conversations about art and me and that cat that likes to give birth in the middle of the road.

how inconvenient am I?

I only need a few things to be ace and be completely worth your daily grace.

bathe me in your electricity, feed me diamonds, sleep with your arms around me - door locked, but wide open, kiss me like Cassandra told you that Troy will fall.

Buy now !

Dead, black lips feel the empty tears of disappointment.
I miss the warm glow of your words on my heart.
Little have I known the day's grace,
But it makes me happy.
I just want to be happy.
And in a perfect world
We would be arm in arm, but more than human.
I would know your call was mine, and we'd sing together.

Arm in arm, greater than the galaxies.
You'd guide me through foreign lands and seas that would have jubilation intoxicate me;
resuscitation.

Take me down that cosmic castle, show me what it means to live.

I'll stare at the blank, black, blanket of a heaven until you return

snake lady with slit, slivers of obsidian for eyes:
i beg you to **** the light, turn me to stone, make my darkness real.

i want nothing more than to be frozen in now,
offer me the stasis, **** me somehow.

that type of halfway point between the knife and
a weakened atlas is where i lie.

turn to me and transcend my paper-thin skin to emerald.

your eyes are the portal to freedom,
god's final mouthpiece.

give the gaze that kills the half-lidding living.

god gives glory in defeat and
i search through that darkness that
excludes and gives light to
heavy hearts.

darkness that is contradictory in its ways because
it gives birth to lux in secrecy and
play, then allows you to succumb to better things.

like an evil queen he hides her up in a tower,
veiled by turbulent, tumultuous clouds that thunder and roar
to drown out her screams for rescue.

as i trek on i tell myself,
"**** a demon today, face the devil tomorrow.",
but i have been in hell too long,
and i can no longer tell the difference between
feathered wings and ghoul kings.

on stone-paths, i hear the angels of mercy sing.
their notes lead the way,
but somehow i get caught up in the stupor.

i search through darkness to find the light.
light shone on darkness and
darkness did not come.

yet i still wear his helmet.

he sweeps me off my feet and lays me by a tombstone,
his volley of crows rain down like black-night javelins,
and i can't quite realize if i am to be shocked
or mesmerized.

the moon shines high in the heavens now,
and her eyes are stuck on me.
she can somehow bear the audacity to watch me
be taken by such a goes-around-comes-around
type of guy.

he smells of sterility and tears
and peace and closure
and happiness in relief;
like roses on blank stones
and lilting monologues.

i can only be struck dumb by the
compelling, coal nocturne
and my hourglass of a lover.

his dual-edged shadowing forms wings of blackened bone on my back,
and i can't bring myself to
turn the sands of times.

so i ask you now:
before you leave me alone in this world,
would you lay me to rest,
kiss me good night,
and tell me stories of what could have been?

"do you have what it takes?"
-to simply put it, no.

i am a failure in darwin's eyes,
a freak to show.

there's no spark of flame in me,
no catalyst for innovation.

i just lie in a sort of dull pain,
lost in translation.

not quite meant for this life, maybe there's another.
the sun flares up at me, and all i want to do is duck and cover.

i am the moon on a black night,
when there are no specks of silver or wisps of angel breath to accompany me.

my light is not mine, i am not a child of clarity.

an eternal walk is what i'd call it:
oblivion,

much like my current standing.

i step blindly, not sure of where i'm going:
who to love, who to trust.

there's nothing i can do but keep on going,
because if i were to stop, i would shame those who came before me.

pity the living.

oblivion is what i was given,
i'm not sure if i can take the split

so i'll take the iron stake,
and see what i can make of it

i swear i can feel your glacial, sticky breath cling to my soul,
and as every second goes by, i find myself wishing to be completely frozen:

a ****** statue of ice.

there are times when i wish to take your own scythe-
reap the light's end,
but sadly, every attempt's pretend.

i can't quite bring to mind on what keeps me here..
what keeps me alive?

it is obvious i am not for this life...
i feel you with every toe and step.
would it be any different if i am dead?

i already feel like a corpse walking.

what keeps my heart starting when it needs to be stopping?

sweet sucker of crushing cruelty,
dripping my sanity to the very last bit.

you come and go as you please,
leaving destruction in your path
in the form of poetry.

i cry at the fires you set,
and rebuild myself again;
***** myself with a pen,
and start, begin to end.

i'm running out of arteries to slice,
not having you puts my thoughts on ice.

i'd like to think you keep me from
burning the whole world down,

that sweet, sweet song
brighter than the mountain's sound.

mother of mine, crashing,
sea foam lady of veins and black-blue,

with the waters of healing and pain.

how is it that you bear the power to mend and rend?

some sort of demon is what you are...
a twisted form of lucifer.
that type of being that can nurture and attack all
at once.

and as if only you held the sky, you blame me.

when it is you who tosses and turns the unforgiving tides of your terrible sea.

my baby whispers to me in soft, sweeping tones.
his breath breaks bricks against my neck.
a bloated song of corruption that continues its infectious drone,
so he has me singing soul-less strains of wreck.

i writhe against him just to feel the notes that carry sweet half truths grace my being.
sweet arias tell me that seeing is deceiving.
he rubs my shoulders with his hands of menacing gold.
the colossus has struck me with his blessing , my story to tell when old.

the hymn plays on, a story to be told...
a scene to lay waste on a magazine centerfold.

but his grip grows iron on my neck,
and i shatter to pieces.

his anthem strikes me down,
my scream becomes a yawn and ceases

my conniving, cunning cat
so quick to pivot on paws,
but caring enough to walk the alleyways that are my
head and heart.

your claws cascade on my soul,
and i know you love me,
but you are a collective culling..

i can't bring myself to return to sender,
love my ender.

my alley cat,
i can't help but surrender,

to your every rake and take of my being.

you are the poison i crave,
the liquor on the top shelf.

the cat that possesses the power,
to bleed me raw and,
steal the love i can't help.

bruises, contusions.
i live a life of illusions.

i box with shadows day and night,
my life is a never ending fight

of the self.

i stand on the edge,
but lean towards the elms

to try to teeter,
but only totter.

one side or the other,
will i fall
or will i falter?

i love,
but i will never surmount.

oh, how i've lost thought of
all the ivory i am,
and all the gold you've become.

my supply of you is endless,
different mold, my bursts are trendless.

i'll take you and bathe you in my self-thought, assumed glory.

i am in love with beings i find precious,
and if i find my heart senseless,
melt and begin again.

perhaps it's all pretend,
my love doth not end

i'll be screaming to no avail.
i am of ivory
and my
gold impales.

born in a storm,
i was dying.
perhaps that's why my tears rain down-
no, that's just crying.

"but mom, i'm always trying!"
my soul's fighting for you,
so i can keep living life,
although i'm lying.

and all though no one's buying:
i promise,
i'm always trying.

my soul's fighting for you,
but i'm still dying.

rest in peace,
boy of feather and fleece.
leave the world,
your pain will not cease.

you carry coffins
like jagged mountains of knives in your back.

to your death you'll take,
your soul that breaks
whenever you get up in the morning

my heart goes out to my soul sister,
who took the heat to the head,
and leaves me alone in this bed.

i wish you were here instead.

my heart goes out to your words,
that tattoo themselves onto my mind
and heart.

words that catalyzed my art to start.

even though i've never met you,
i feel like i do,

because if i could go back in time,
if there was something i knew

i would abandon all
to stop and save you.

that silly metaphor about
weights being on your shoulder,
always holds true,

because whether it's you
and love
and lies
and hope
and smoke
and tears
and water
and fire

all that pain,
it inspires.

i hear the sounds of
banshee screams
like series of unruly
crime scenes.

they call to me,
and as if god
himself stabbed me,
i shatter.

but oh they call to me, and if i were to not listen,
i would be struck down by spears of novas.

so i tug on starlight,
and chant:

why is it that i can't
cross the cursed crossing ?

it is the silicon veil
dear god i am the shadow's blossoming

i will
rise above the fray
and slay the beast
that keeps me at bay.

i will
rise above the fray,
no longer do i hide behind the glimmer of the cosmos.
i am the night and day.

i will
rise above the fray.
become the flower and the flame.
i am the hunter
the world?
my prey.

life loves a fist to lift levels of lamentation onto my being.
oh, how i feel the rise and fall
-so freeing.
to be uppercutted to the clouds,
only to fall right through.

life is a lie.

there is no one to catch you.

i take the stride,
of spirits and soul.
i take the stride,
my god shall console.

there are times when i speak to the sky,
and no one answers.
there are times when i speak to the sky,
and the silence is all i need.

walk down Jerusalem,
there's not much to say.
walk down Jerusalem,
i wouldn't have it any other way.

i am in love with the sky and his crown of ichor and heart of plenty.
i am taken by love with the every day shock.
it is to be in love, that you relish in his every heartbeat - many.
i am in that love that makes me perpetually walk.

he slings a spear of singularity,
i am to be noticed.
but he is in the sky of celerity,
and i am grounded.
i take the golden light all at once.
the sun will never set in my soul.

the heavens part and leave an abyss,
the longing for his static lashes makes my sun itch
for his crackling discharge of power. oh how i miss !
the arc and flow of his lightning whip.

i hold my sun to the sky.
its celestial light shall carry me high.
king of killers, teller of lies!
heed the angels' song of wry.
i am the storm, and this time i am also the eye.

there is a raven who sings me to sleep,
if could,
i'd dream every night.

that abyss of whom i am born,
cradles me in its arms of stars
and heart of clouds.

the moon is my light,
my goddess: lenore.
wings of black soul beating the air of love, forevermore.
whip me a whirlwind.

raven, oh raven, if you could see me now

It is on this day,
that ice breathed fire

It is on this day,
that I was born

16 glacial years,
and still no body
to mourn.

And if I was to receive a gift,
from winter Snow,
I'd ask him to bless me with the love
I always yearn.

the sheer look of catching your seemingly intent stare
hit me like a blow to the heart.
i'll wear the bruise like the finest piece of jewelry.

everything and nothing is what it was,
and if i could
i'd make the sky cry feathers,
and diamonds would muse out of the back of heaven's throat.
a heavy song for the heaviest of loves.

but i can only want and feel,
as you stand, i kneel.

off with my head!
god, help me heal!

there is no one but him,
and oh it kills, it kills

i stretched my arm out across the world
to find someone's hand to hold,
when the sun was cold,
and the moon was black pearled.

twice they turned their back on me,
and twice i faltered in the spilt blood of three.

oh, stars, i can't reach you.
carry me, ascension!

only the stars know true

beacons of thunder,
glow of a kindled lantern

small embers that whisper,
but clap like god shot a gun

shimmering in that darkness
of disconsolation and remorse
a diamond of its own

a soul looking for a love to call their home

and my heart still glows
bright like the lights that leads me off cliffs

i feel like a flower
born backwards

because i love the feeling of golden light all for me

but i shrivel in fear of my own sight to see

i now bear the burden of the phoenix,
but your heat is what sets me ablaze.

day by day,
i take the beating of your rays,
and sizzle and frizzle
in your stay.

when the time comes to turn to ash,
i find myself with charred hope.
for some reason i still swallow the same smoldered smoke.

my wings dance with the tongues of your ardent flare.
wither and thither boy,
who still whispers wisps of wild prayer

i would tell you about the way i lose myself when you come to close,
and sear your image into my heart
with every appearance.
the most beautiful of all scars.

i would tell you that speaking your name feels like breathing fire,
a pain i can't bring myself to feel,
so skirt the scorch
and let my feelings sway

but above all i'd ask you
why?
because if there's anything i know,
it's that my love didn't show

choke on hope,
no love to stoke

somethings can't help but be looked backed at,
reminisced upon, though forgotten, a different kind of broken

like when i threw my jewel into the sea,
knowing it never loved me

and everyday the tide brought him back,
like some god-sent, torrent of a smack.
leaving me a bruise beyond pain,
amour's unforgiving, incessant strain.

sometimes i feel as if the words are going to shy out of my throat,
but i only find myself swallowing hope

i knew that when fire
  would come down as liquid rain,
     it would be the day god choked me into loving you.

now it's too bad my Lord left you in the storm's all seeing eye,
     and me to be carried away by tempestuous winds of lies

i can't help but to love you like the sun loves the moon.
upon first sight, i reflected your light, and made it
pearlescent, sporadic, and needing,
when all i wanted to do was scintillate and love as bright as you.

then i remember your rays not only touch me, but earth's and all its inhabitants.
perhaps a reflection of you is all i'll ever be.

but the reality is,
we are parallel ,
and i need to know that you like me
as much as i like you

i stood before the water,
and watched the dance of an elegant snake charmer.

his serpent moved like liquid emeralds.
he glared a ruby stare that made life ephemeral.

he craned his neck and hissed incantations into my ear,
oh how my heart could feel evil near

because now i take the lonely stride,
and know the devil thinks of me alone this time

maybe it was my induced state of certain strife,
that made me believe we'd love each other in another life

a sure thought that ended with a knife
by my own hand,

oh how i hold darkness within the light

how quick i was,
to bite into the forbidden fruit

o temptress, i will always believe you weren't a ruse

because now he's coming out of the shadows,
and like some false prophet your preachings no longer lead me to shore

so now i am looking for a needle in a rather larger pile of needles, aching for more

the forbidden knowledge i've taken, it's not like you've been mistaken

but now i can't find the key to the door

upon the sight of your face,
i grew a second heart,
because all that i saw in you
was a new start.

i carried heart #2 in my hands,
to make sure you saw its crimson shine,
and all my brain told me to do was to bide my sweet time.

but then every heartbeat became an earthquake,
and my spirits began to flatline.

time of death, i awaited
while my second heart's beat declined,
until all it became
was an echo

with every tear
i hold myself responsible

because a human that would jump off a cliff with no rope
deserves to feel the fall

in the act of damning your soul to shackles,
one can only look up:
it is the sky that holds my solace.

i like to think that each of my wishes for you
became stars,
alas my sky has darkened

perhaps the sky is only for the living

with my head bent to hell
and my heart turned to a storm,
i pay reverence to the sky,
because at last it is time to say goodbye

my new home is oblivion,
where there is only silence and night

and now my last burst of sun
seems a lot less bright

so when i speak to emptiness,
i pray for the light
of the moon

who would perhaps be kinder

do you know
what it feels like
to become a grain of sand
and get pulled from shore?

into a pool of love,
i choke
and only want more

so i make my heart into fist
and fight back,
to swim along the tides
forevermore

everything about you makes my whole being echo
and i long for nothing more than to sing in unison

the sole amplification of your answer
leaves me waiting for another and

i now know how it feels to be left hanging
off a cliff