i feel like a shadow.
nothing more than a bleak, distorted reflection
of what is
and i am not

i feel like a shadow.
my love for you is false but unbroken
blind and unspoken
but i still take the pill everyday

i feel like a shadow.
and every day i pray to god
for completeness and think about
what sick monster
could yank at the chains of the lonely

i am a shadow.
maybe it's better that way

there are times when i watch you and think i'm watching a sunshower.
and i can't help but want to feel your every drizzle and ray against my skin.

do you know what it feels like
to be hot and cold?

to love without eyes
is to have Hope whisper lies.

instead of letting love glow red,
i tie a blindfold around my head.

my love began in lies.
a web of what-ifs i wove to fall in when the sun refused to shine,
and the string of loveless red around my ankle no longer feels the pull and tug of possibility.

and i yearn for the kiss that would
fracture time.
like an itch i can't scratch,
like trying to make ice in an oven.
i then see my love lies limp.

wound in my web, venom in my veins, hung by the noose of love's insane.

i reach out, fingers stretched and aching;
across galaxies, my bones are breaking.

i spill my spacial despair into the cosmos,
and pour my tears into Andromeda, and think "almost."

my binary star, a galaxy gushes past my lips.
when i reach you, i will know that our love has eclipsed.

hollow human,
nothing more than an echo
of what could have been.

an echo that rang so sweetly
and sent pangs through his heart.

human with no insides,
no feeling, no way out.

human that bore a sign that read: "all hollowed out"

jack-o-lantern left out on Halloween.

please let me know that i am seen.

sweet bright eyes, what can i say?
i wouldn't lie to you if i told you that your light led me down this way.
sweet amber eyes, why can't i stay?
maybe it's better that my heart is nothing more than your prey.

celestial, copper eyes, with lashes that shadow like a veil,
a stare, a glare, physique that could never compare.
lustrous, luminous eyes with the allure of a panther,
it didn't take long to see your eyes bore the answer.

i shake and shiver.
sweet brown eyes, make my soul quiver.
serrated lashes that stab like knives;
sweet bright eyes,
become my soul's reprise

i fracture my soul, a piece for you and one for me.
maybe then i could offer eternity.

we reap what we sow, Innocence tells me.
i am my own, and forever is what we shall be.
pulled a tooth, a wish to be granted;
godsend, our love will not be outlasted.

i take a new color, new face, new soul:
will you ever love me as a whole?
identity is what my youth writhes for,
i take you for your words, because you promised, you swore-
then i remember Youth doesn't cry for me anymore.

i'm nothing to you until i'm everything,

funhouse of self-reflection,
i indulge in your distraction,
make the best of every one of my heart's contractions,
to scintillate, to shine, to epitomize a refraction
that is all mine.

a start's best contender
to finish, always inclined.
for the heart's say is that gold is always underlined.

glitter of shimmer, of glistening hues.
what creator could produce formations as iridescent as you?
but coruscation of shadows, perpetually anew:
why do you always crack my mirror and skew?

mirror, mirror.
mirror of my mind:
tell me where it is that all my secrets hide?

******.
a choir of omens
that fly on wings of death,
and soar on winds of agony.
harbingers of oncoming storms:
what lies beneath cacophonous cackles?

solace in the chains of sorrow.

the ebb and tide of diamond waves slosh in the most serene celerity.
it is then that i know i am safe.

i lie in the ocean's arms,
and become a grain of sand,
until your song is sent my way
and i crystallize.

oh i am a pearl, born from pain.

your timbre plays melodies on my heartstrings, siren.
your beauty shadowboxes with my soul, siren.
i am not yours to keep, siren.
i am the tidecaller and i have a place.

but oh siren, why must you sing when i want to sleep?
why must you sing when i want to weep?
oh, siren, take my soul to keep.

no longer my sea.
sea of sirens, sea of song.
your song always lets me know that i mustn't tag along.

I.
i kept my eyes off.
turning to face away,
as if god might have tapped me on the shoulder,
and told me to let my love smolder.
my eyes followed the distractions,
as they beat on marimbas,
and as i kept his gaze,
it started to feel like
they were beating
my ribcage

II.
heartbeat altered,
i began to falter.
moving my sight from the dancing mallets,
to my lukewarm palms,
that seemed to tear in passion.
in a sudden fashion,
i raised his head
and looked straight at it
with its wary eyes closed,
and i thought,
that i might have heard,
with a rush of raising concerns,
a heart shatter in shallow nearness,
like a shaky hand might have dropped a crystal.

III.
after the shatter,
my heart began to patter,
at a faster tempo in spite of the latter.
it is because of this,
that i promised to never looked again.

The rapture is night.
As the stars align,
And tell stories of God's oncoming reign,
I decline.
The rapture is night.

The rapture is night,
And I speak with my feet, tapping, creating tremors in the souls of the dead.
Then my foreboding angel flapped her wings.

The devil sat outside my home,
Left his beauty's scent and stone,
Left me raked and raw,
The rapture is night.

When judgement came,
Hera held my hand
And whispered a secret into my ear,
that filled my cheeks with flame.

The rapture is night.

a caged dove sits on its perch,
and listens to its own silent song.
while the veiled sun ascended to its throne of flames
and gave rise to its free wings.

***** filled the air
and all the while a new song chimed on
like a call unanswered.
as the dove listened, it began to hum;
their tunes began to intertwine.
all the while the dove thought:
that song sounds like mine