things may come and go but one thing stays the same
your love as constant as my own
growing stronger every day

it tells me no one loves me
that they wish i would go home
it tells me home is no where
and i'm better off alone
freezing in a alley
lost somewhere out there
away from all the people that
lie when they say they care
it tells me that im ugly
the reason for their stares
it tells me i'll amount to nothing
and dont i ever dare
dream of some day leaving
the voices far behind
because they're the only ones
who will never tell me lies

have I told you how it hurts
how the pain never fades
how every remark from your lips
keeps adding to my shame
have I told you how I hate
every word from your tongue
that whipsers her name
and every her to come
have I told you I'm broken
every day a new repair
how I'm trying to fix me
how its impossible with her there

this life is fleeting,
this is know
life is short
and goes by slow
in the moments when
your life's at stake
it's shorter still,
make no mistake
so cherish each breathe,
take it all in
feel every moment,
every smile, every kiss
because no matter how careful,
no matter how good
everyone is the same
in that anything could..

i am flying free
from your suffocating grasp
finally free at last

i'm too young to be old, yet too old for this ****,
try me at a later date and we'll see what you get,
a smile and a good word, or an insult and the bird,
i'm tired of these silly games, now **** outta here girl

how can I be angry;
who is there

to blame?

a friend I cannot hug, hold, or comfort much in any way
she's been hurting for so long and I'm really quite afraid
that the pain will be too much and soon there will come a day
I log in and see my friend is gone, lost to all her pain..

You're nice,
Not just nice, but really caring,
Risky of me to say, but I'm daring,
Cause no boy,
Not just a boy,
No man wants to hear that he's nice.

You're giving,
Not just rarely, but always giving,
Even without thinking, just always willing,
To me,
Not just to me,
But everyone we know.

Your diplomatic,
Not just fair, but really clever,
Easily bringing people back together,
With reason,
Not just what you say,
But your whole attitude.

Your understanding,
Not just patient, but calming and gentle,
Even when everyones going a bit mental,
Okay,
Not just everyone,
But mainly me.

I'm selfish,
Spoilt and moody and causing trouble,
Been living in my own little bubble,
For long,
Not just long,
But forever before I met you.

But you're nice
So perfect, it makes me look at me,
And re-evaluate the way I want to be,
Better,
Not just better,
But more like you.

out there in the crisp winter cold
growing old are the couples too young to be told
love is dying

it use to be me rattling those closed doors
the fear of losing you, the suffering through
of everything; drowning me until there was nothing
more than a shell of who I use to be left

now it's you with a stone in your chest
that quickness of breath, when you think about me
gone; walking away and leaving you behind
nothing more than a shell of the boy you use to be

the sky overhead
inky and star-filled
my soul on star fuel

I use to write about her,
and how his hands
felt on my skin..

my past, I now spurn,
and I wear my scars
proudly; I win

it's when the hour's late
and my thoughts become hazy
my resolve, it breaks
and my promise stays empty

close your eyes and imagine me
lying next to you

if only God can judge me,
then let Him do so.
but if mercy is a given,
and I'm already forgiven,
where is the lesson I should know?

if only God can cleanse me,
then let Him purge my soul.
but if sin is driven,
by my own faith in religion,
will I ever be whole?

Steal my breath
and heal my heart

From you, my love
I will not part

I once knew this boy
who would walk miles and miles
just to understand
the reason she'd smile.

She thought long and hard
about being his girl,
but decided that he
just wasn't made for her world.

I got a new job this weekend and it's going really well,
if by well I mean I haven't cried at work yet.

I came pretty close though when a lady asked to do a return for her
see, I've never done a return,
let alone touch a register before noon,
and now there's a line of people all waiting with their dog food and tiny overpriced sweaters,
all waiting for me to get my **** together and figure this out
figure this out. figure this out. figure this out.

but I don't figure it out, and this lady is so patient it almost makes it worse,
and I can feel a swarm of bees building in my throat,
threatening to spill forth from my lips and even though I try to hold them in
with a pleasant smile and clenched teeth, it's not enough
it's not enough. it's not enough. it's not enough.

it was my coworker that saved me from the bubbling panic attack,
when she swooped in like superman, but with ******* instead of bullet proof skin,
then the lady left with a smile of her face, a few dollars richer,
while mine burned with shame and my coworker, bless her soul, told me it's okay to ask for help

I got a new job this weekend and it's going really well

inside I fight a battle
every day with my own heart
it screams at me to listen
begs me to fall apart
my heart has become a plague
feasting on my soul
darkened with sin
it thirsts for control

I make poor ******* decisions
and I can never follow through
I'm sick of the divisions
and how I'm always doubting you
I do things out of spite
to not just hurt him, but me, too
I'm done hiding from the light
my soul and heart, I give back to you

that moment when you realize
too many of your poems
share the same title
because you are
unoriginal
af

shh and allow me
to find the words

there aren't any;
just know I would
live through it all
again

I don't know if I ever want to have my poems
immortalized in a book, to sit on some shelf untouched
a reminder printed on blank pages; my love, and my pain
organized into pretty poetic arrangements for other's viewing pleasure
for strangers to know me that intimately on a level I barely understand
I can't comprehend--

my love, and my pain, indeed
the love I have is beautiful, and worth sharing with the world
but I dont know if I could immortalize the pain it has caused me to love so throughly
so completely have I given myself over to everything
followed the winding paths through heartache and back;
I would much rather forget them here, forget the past

believing a lie almost always feels better
than believing the truth

is that why when I tell myself he hasn't really changed,
I feel better then when I wonder if he had?

and as the paranoia creeps in
settling between my *******
the hollow of my throat tightens
with weak and shallowed breaths
my legs, they shake and shiver
under the extreme duress
of not knowing if again his love will wander
leaving me a foolish mess

his hands sketch my edges, down
tracing the dips and curves and swells
his fingers curl into my skin, soft
where ever skin is found

burning with every seconds past
longing for his touch to last

his hands feel through me
reaching soul deep, he breaths
in holy serenity, feeding me solely;
his masterpiece

words and phrases
and mix matched pieces
of a language I never cared to learn;

words that mean everything
when you say them,

phrases that would sound like crap
coming from any other mouth but yours,

the mix matched pieces of a language
I haven't learned yet

strung together to make something whole.

and even when I love you
I still hate you
for what you did to me

or do I just hate myself
for never being able to let it go

he tells her not to worry
he'll only leave at her command

she loves him in a hurry
afraid he'll leave again

a love that burned with a fury
and just as easily slipped through their hands

imagine black satin and lace
imagine slowing the pace
and taking your time

imagine feeling her curves

imagine stealing her nerve

If you always do what you've always done
you'll always get what you've always gotten

she's leaving

highways and high seas, she's crossing them all
achieving her dreams while shouting
at the top of her lungs **** everyone
and she laughs

because she's leaving her past behind her at last

with the wind blowing my hair back
the plain brown,  not much to look at
the straight nose and long legs;  it looks
great on somebody,  anybody else

but not me

with the wind blowing my hair back
it steals the words from my lips,  lifts
them up into the sky;  it's a clear night
and though I'm dead,  I feel alive

i wish i could do it over
age slower

get a chance to do it all right

You remind me of the ocean,
a great sea ruled by the moon;
with calms before the storms,
the tides guide your mood

Outline the moon on the skin of his back,
he's never ashamed when I help him relax

the girl was impatient so she opened her drawer;
pulled out her old razor to bust the **** on the floor.

this is a story of her fall into submission
she wasn't aware of her inhibitions
until she lost them and forgot to miss them..

she bought into the idea that she was broken
tainted and hopeless
until she met a man who cut her fears wide open

You fell in love with a girl and I'm wearing her skin
On the surface composed and inside broken

I want to go camping
no I want to live in the woods

The riverboat floats
Following the stream
To your mind; a dream

I don't know if I'll ever figure it out..
I don't know if there was ever anything to figure.

I want to write so badly
hurts with every line I delete
write about how it hurt this morning
when I woke up alone
when I fell asleep
with someone next to me