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Jul 2015 · 1.9k
My Fair Lady [In Waiting]
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
Oh, to cast my eyes
On someone as elegant
As she must be

To touch
Something as angelic
As the fingers she dangles
So nonchalantly from the opening
Of the chariot
She rides

Oh sweet beauty
Would that you were mine to hold.

What I would do
For the chance to see that face
The one so many look over
And pass by
Every day

Simple fools they must be
To pass by
The face that must out-shine
Even the stars

On one of those
Lovely fingers
Resides a ring

It symbolizes eternity.
Who was the giver of this gift?
Oh, gods above,
Do not let someone else have stolen
The heart
Of this angel.

Have mercy on me
A peasant
Pining over
This woman.

You should be
The one with a crown
My darling
The one wearing jewels
And many lovely gowns

And yet
Alas
You were born a servant
Doomed
To be overlooked

Though you are more beautiful
Than the sun.

Be still my heart,
My soul

My darling, I beg of you to have me
For I can clearly see
Though your face be veiled
That you, indeed are glorious
In your beauty.
The gist of this poem is a peasant pining away over a servant girl. He can see her hand draped out of the window of the litter as it passes by, but she is wearing a veil, so he can't see her all the way. He imagines what she must look like judging by how beautiful her fingers are.
I've never done a poem like this to my memory, so let me know what you think. :)
Jul 2015 · 4.2k
Surface Smiles
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
On the surface
I
Put on a smile
Laugh
Pretend to have fun

On the inside
I
Bite my lip
Cry
Wish there were something I could do
To change how I feel
In the words of someone I love, "sometimes I think I laugh so hard because I really just want to cry." I couldn't have said it better.
Jul 2015 · 243
10W Wishful Thinking
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
I wish I could take back
The words I said.
Jul 2015 · 1.5k
Top Insult
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
You don't understand
The way I think

When I'm with you
I seem to shrink

I don't think you get
The way I feel

Your hate eats me up
Like some kind of meal

And when we hang out
I'm so afraid

That your new victim
Will be my name

"You're stupid," you said
Straight to my heart

So when I see you
I fall apart

So just be gentle
With my broke heart

Not that it matters
You make it fall apart.
To someone I know: this is me being honest. Yes, I'm angry at you. Yes, you make me wonder why I stay around you. Then I remember - it's because everyone around you thinks I'm a good influence on you. But I'm starting to think that you're doing me more harm than good. So if you want me to stay, you better stop treating me so bad.
-love, the person you bully
Jul 2015 · 522
Back Again
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
And now
Even now
After working so hard
Not to love you
I find myself
With butterflies
Every time
You touch me.
Putting his arm around me, hugging me, touching my cheek with hiis thumb. Why does he have to keep playing with me?
Jul 2015 · 322
14W
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
14W
And all the while,
I'm hurting just like you


Only you can't tell.
Yeah. :/
Jul 2015 · 3.5k
Crush
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
Now I know
Why they call it a crush.

When you find out
They love someone else

It crushes you.
Just realized this.
Jul 2015 · 1.1k
Believer
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
I am a strong
Believer
In
Memories
Magic
Mystery
Mercy
Monsters
Marvels
­Miracles
Madmen
Malice
Marriage
Majesty
Masterpieces
Matchmaking
­And
Mayhem.
^-^
Jul 2015 · 161
Untitles 16
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
I've come
To realize that if
She
Is in the room
No one will ever see
see

Me.
Jul 2015 · 817
Mirror
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
Mirror, mirror
On the wall
I always break
When I fall

Mirror, mirror
Let me see
What this sick world
Sees in me

Mirror, mirror
Show me, dear
What the gossip
Is to hear

Mirror, mirror
Please, I beg
Save me some of
What you've read

Mirror, mirror
I'm so tied to
And I'm tired of
Being lied to

So

Mirror, mirror
I will try
To see goodness
Before I die

Mirror, mirror
On the door
You don't own me
Anymore
Something I need to say every now and then.
Jun 2015 · 818
Ashes to Ashes
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Being your best friend
Is a must

Ashes to ashes
Waves on waves
The way that you speak
Must save lives

Ashes to ashes
Wind by wind
I never want us
Out of mind.
True love never dies.
Jun 2015 · 546
Untitled 15
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I read through our old
Text messages to remind
Myself
Of the good times
The times when
We talked
And laughed
And called each other affectionate names
The times we still woke up to each other's
Faces on the screens
Of our phones.
Here's to back then.
Jun 2015 · 591
Anyone???
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who misses out on fun
And stays out of the sun?

Am I the only one
Really the ony one
Who doesn't have a BF
Who doesn't have a love?

Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who sits around with no one
No one to love on me?

Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who feels this unloved
I wish I had "the one"
Lord, grant me patience for the one you have reserved for my arms.
Jun 2015 · 622
Down, Down, Down
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Darling, in my eyes
There's no way to disguise
That darling, your so beautiful.
Stop putting yourself down.

I can see in you
A door to walk through
A way to escape this hell
Stop putting yourself down

I don't understand
How even a strand
Of you could be imperfect
Stop putting yourself down.
To a guy I know. You're awesome! Stop hating on yourself!
Jun 2015 · 371
What To Do
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
When confusion's my companion
When fear reaches into my heart
When I just want to cry

Like I did today

I only let the tears in for a split second.

Then I crank music
As loud as can be
Singing God's praises

And I bring back the dancing-the ballet
I learned as a child.

I danced around the kitchen
Losing myself in the happiness of Grace
Thank you, Lord for music. Of all the places to lose myself in, I would rather it be dancing and singing than weeping and hurting.
Jun 2015 · 257
Give Me Fruit
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Lord, give me

Love
Of those around me

Joy
In your voice

Peace
With myself, and others


Patience
For the one you have reserved
For my arms

Kindness
Even when I don't feel like it

Goodness
To those in need

Faithfulness
To the ones I love
And the ones I don't

Gentleness
With the hearts of those I speak to

Self Control
With my sins

And life everlasting.
Bless me, Lord, I pray.
Amen
Jun 2015 · 602
16W
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
16W
And for the first time
In a long time
She knew she would be OK.
I'm doing so much better today than in have been. Praise God for allowing me to forget (albeit temporarily) my problems. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Jun 2015 · 2.3k
Sunburn and Skinned Knees
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
The light dapples in
Throwing odd shadows
On the plastic surrounding me.
Like a strange sunset put there
To taunt my eyes

Each droplet of water
Is another arrow
Shooting new spikes of pain
Through my body

Hundreds
Thousands
Millions of drops
Per second
Splash onto my skin.
1,000
2,000

I could have avoided the pain
I could have stopped this
Not going to the beach
Not going on that walk

But oh, I would not take it back.

Not one second.
Every
Happy
Minute was another
Happy
Memory

To add to my collection
And even
As I lay here
Rivulets of water
Washing down my red skin
I am making another.

You tease me
Like some cruel trickster
Happiness
Dripping down my back

Turned to cruel
Twisted
Pain
Running up my spine like a knife.

Oh, blissful pain
Would that I could feel
You to your full relevance

Instead, you trip over me
Leaving pain in your wake.

Like a torture machine.

This feels so bad
But so good.
Once the water is freed
From the contraption shooting it
Like a pistol in my heart
Onto my skin
It rebels against its maker
And trickles delightfully across me, sending delightful shivers
Into me
Only to betray me again.

Oh, sweet treasure
Would that your painful side were invisible
So
I
Could sleep
Once
Again.
I got a sunburn, and skinned knees. I am in copious amounts of pain. -_-
Jun 2015 · 254
Like My Men
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Swag is for boys
That's what I liked then
But, just have to say
Class is for men.

I like my men
With bits of respect
Now, I gotta say
"Swag's" a defect

When I marry
Instead of some swag
I want some class
Sewn into my man.
When I was younger, I pretty much liked anyone who would give me the time of day because not a lot of guys would. I have a little more respect for myself, now. Class is better than swag. ;)
Jun 2015 · 772
Who
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Who
Who are you
To text me
Call me
Message me

Get my hopes up

Thinking it's him
Him

I fell in love with that
Calm smile
Happy
And content

I fell in love with those
Long
Smooth fingers
Intertwining with my own
And my heart

I fell in love with
Long talks over the internet
Tight hugs when I see you again

I fell in love with
His eyes
Bright
And dark
Knowing
And innocent

I fell in love with him
*And I hate myself for it.
Something I thought up. All my inspiration comes at night. ;)
Jun 2015 · 255
Renewal
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Lord, I renew my vows
I feel you with me now
So reachy heart in me
And plunge me in the sea.
May the Lord baptize me again and again every day for the rest of my life. God, help me to renew the vows I made to you forever. Amen.
Jun 2015 · 243
Invisible
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Everyone can see the effects of the hurt
And they tell me everything will be OK.

But they don't *see me
Jun 2015 · 394
What Can I Do
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I wish
With all my heart
That I could talk to you.

But I promised.
I was stupid
And I promised I wouldn't.

So now
So late at night
Darkness seeping in through my window
When I need you
To
Speak
To me

What can I do?
What can I do when I need you?
Just something I thought up. Writing a short story, and thought this applied a bit. :P
Jun 2015 · 233
Untitled 14
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I know things seem dark
But if there's one thing I know:
Things will get better.
Going through some difficult and confusing time right now. All prayers are appreciated.
Jun 2015 · 463
All This Time
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
When did I obtain
So much hurt
When did my heart
Feel like dirt

When did my voice
Become lies
So much of my pain
Hides inside

When was it okay
To speak lies
Deep inside my heart
My voice hides

What I want to say
I don't speak
I keep it away
Like a freak

I'm just so relieved
That you're here
Making sure I'm fine
Hope in my ear
To someone I hope I never lose. I love you so much. I don't know where I'd be without you. Thank you for always knowing when to bug me about what's wrong, and when to leave me alone for awhile. May God bless you and keep you. <3
Jun 2015 · 576
Dearest Angel of Mine
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
As I stare you down
Laying in my arms
My own lungs could drown
For I cannot breathe

How your chest goes down
And comes right back up
A sweet gold crown
Of our memories

Looking here at you
Takes me to a place
Where I dream of two
I smile at your face

I know when you wake
You will leave me here
Drifting to the lake
You were meant to go

When you leave me here
It hurts me, angel
Know you'll disappear
When you do come back

Dearest angel mine
As you rest so deep
Take up wings and fly
Beautiful in sleep

Oh, what shall I do
When you leave me here
This place meant for two
Will have only one

I thought you loved me
You said forever
So , dear, I'm begging
                    "Don't leave me here


...lonely"
Oh, angel taking up my head,
I love you as I've always said.

Just something I thought up. Rhyming is a beast. ;)
Jun 2015 · 916
Inside The Empty
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
And just like a mason jar
Or a broken car
You threw aside my heart
Like some messed up art

And just like the ocean
Or a dead man's house
My heart is now empty
All the people poured out

You took all my love
And you threw it away
And all I can think is
I wish you had stayed

It's not much your fault
What happened to me.
You're just a child
My heart is the sea.

And I suppose after all
My foster child
You just did as you were told
You just moved on
And there's another foster child come and gone. I'll miss you forever. May God guide your young, childish steps. I will always love you and remember when you were with me.
Jun 2015 · 410
Why I Love Him
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I love
My God
Because when I am upset
And depressed
And angry
Sinful
Sad
And a swirling
Swirling tornado
Of emotions

And I say to Him,
"God, save me, I'm drowning"
He saves me.

And when life is so dim that I can't
See
A foot in front of me
And I am falling fast
Through the dark
I can feel
Feel His arms
Bearing me up
Wrapping me up
In the most comforting
Life-giving
Hug imaginable.
I love my God. ^-^
Jun 2015 · 711
These Days
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I've been
Broken
Sad
Angry
Depressed
I keep thinking
That things can't possibly
Get worse
             And then they do.

Maybe
If I think
That things can't get any better,
Then they will.
I'm still broken
But I have my good days.
God is taking care of me.
All I know is I'm getting better.
Slowly
But surely
I'm healing.
:) Today I'm actually doing alright. God is good.
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
What they don't understand
About what happened
Is that

Every breath
Since he left
Is laborious.

Every day
That I live
Is victorious

Every guy
That I see
Is notorious

Because
Because he
Was inglorious.

What they don't understand
About him leaving
Is that

Every day
That goes by
Is upsetting

Every tear
That I cry
Is regretting

Every good
I would see
Is vanishing

Everything
I would trust
I'm not trusting.

Every good
Memory
I'm forgetting

Every pain
He caused me
Is confronting me

Face
To
Face
The thing no one gets is that the second he left, he broke that precious thing inside me that hope that dared to hope that maybe-maybe there was some good in this world. But it's broken, now. Everywhere I go, all I see is bad, and I hate it. I'm not even angry at him. He broke me in ways that may never heal. But I guess that hope is still daring to hope that maybe he didn't mean it.
Jun 2015 · 178
Who I am
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
People say I worry too much.
Don't trust enough.

But if I stop
If I use blind trust

I'm scared that I might
Become
That girl.

The one who only cares for herself.
The one who hates
Hates everyone else.
.
.
.
And then where would I be?
Their lies do not define you.
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
How beautiful is the sunset
Like the blood that drips down my wrists
Every
Night

Like the great painter has
Decided to paint the sky
The same color as life

How ironic that so many die at night.
How ironic that I never knew blood was so beautiful
Until it dripped from my veins.
I thought of this just now. Thinking of writing a book about this? "The Ramblings of a Depressed Psychopath" kinda had a ring to it, no? ;)
Jun 2015 · 335
"Jesus is nothing special"
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
As I was walking 'round, one day
My face downcast and grim
I heard a stray conversation
They spoke about HIM.

"Jesus is nothing special, man;
He's just another guy."
Not really , I thought to myself,
He made the earth and sky

Thinking on this brought my face up
Chased away the grim
Why ever should I doubt his might
When He took all my sin?
Jun 2015 · 367
Shoulder Angel
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
How am I supposed
To know how to help you out
If you won't tell me?
There's someone in my life right now who I can tell there's something wrong, but he just won't tell me. Please pray that God leads me to do the right thing.
Jun 2015 · 1.9k
Empty Smiles
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Put a smile on your
Face and soon enough, you will
Believe you're okay.
I heard once that when you've lost someone you love, the best way to get through it is to wake up on Monday and tell yourself that this week, you will smile, and be okay. Then so it again the next  week, and the next. Soon enough, you might truck everyone (yourself included) that you are okay.
Jun 2015 · 154
Untitled 13
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Only in the understanding
Mind of a poet can you look at someone
Else's poem
Read about
Their
Pain
And think it beautiful.
I saw someone poem just now. They wrote their pain into it, and it was beautiful. "Sad means happy for deep people"
Jun 2015 · 6.0k
Guy-best-friend
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Tight hugs
Sitting close
Playful shoves
Eyes closed

Breathing in
Breathing out
Lips are silent
Heart shouts

My guy friend
Is a part of me
A part that you
May someday meet

The time we spend
Is so precious
My favorite memories
Are of us

I guess there's nothing
More to say
I'll think of something
Another day.
To my guy best friend: You never fail to make my day a little better. :)
Jun 2015 · 427
What This Is
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
"I won't if you don't want me to"
I want to, but I don't want to hurt you.

"I don't mind-really!"
I mind, but I don't want to hurt you

"I've been clean for years"
I drank last night, but I know it will hurt you.

"Nothing's wrong!"
So many things are wrong, but I don't want to hurt you.

This
Life
What this is
Is a bunch of people
Doing their best
Not to hurt
Everyone else.

Screams
Yells
What this is
Is a bunch of people
Hurting so bad
That all they do
Is help others.
I've learned that basically what life is is everyone doing their best not to hurt everyone else. To those of you who are doing this: Darling, do something for you. Talk to him. Tell her. Sing what you want. Bring yourself out to lunch. Read a book because it's what you want to do.
God asks us to care for others. He doesn't ask us not to care for ourselves.
Take a moment and care for yourself.
Jun 2015 · 2.5k
Will I Ever Be OK?
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Will I ever be OK?
This loneliness always stays
Their lips constantly say
"Darling, you will be OK"

I don't believe what they say
Because I am not OK
And it gets worse day to day
I will never be OK

Will I ever be OK?
Beasts of lonely want to stay
I wish they'd just go away
I just want to be OK

Like a never ending day
Lonely 'gain comes out to play
So to God allmight' I pray
Please don't let the lonely stay.

I just want to be OK.
My dearest heavenly Father, please take this burden from me. It is too heavy for me to bear.
Jun 2015 · 199
Sunset
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
The sun is crying
Leaving streaks
And heaving bolts
Of its tears
Up and down
And
All
Around
Across
Its canvas
That is the sky.
May 2015 · 405
Poem of Me
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
If I were to write
A poem of me
Would be dark as night
And bright as the sea

If I were to write
A poem myself,
I'd compare my heart
To an empty shelf.

Nothing to speak of
As far as stories go
When it comes to love life,
I've nothing there to show.

If I were to write
A poem of my life
I would talk of hurt
Of anger and of strife.

But there's one more thing
I would write about
If I gave myself
A heart-felt shout out

If I were to write
A poem about me
I would write of love
Not something you can see

I have been so loved
Throughout my whole life
That sometimes it even
Outdoes all the strife.

The love of God, my father
Is greater even still
Than any of the anger
That echoes Satan's will.

When my heart has fallen
And I can't get back up
He sets me on my way again
He overflows my cup

So if I were to write
A poem about me
I'd write of love unbounding
Dark and shining like the sea.
The meter isn't quite what I would like it to be, but it came from my heart.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
May 2015 · 267
Untitled 12
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
I am so busy
Trying to be someone else
I forgot how to be
Myself.
May 2015 · 7.2k
Rainy Day Love Song
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
On this rainy day
I just want to cry
Not like some others
Who wish they would die

On this rainy day
Just want it to end
*** somehow I thought
He was a Godsend.

On this rainy day
I wish I could weep
And all my troubles
Could roll down my cheeks

On this rainy day
I just want the tears
And just to erase
All the past years

On this rainy day
My emotions scream
And boy do I wish
This was all a dream

On this rainy day
Want someone to hold
Someone who'll love me
Even when I'm old

On this rainy day
A painting's my heart
He graffitid it
And made it his art

On this rainy day
Breath seems like torture
A thing of unknown
Like a new culture

On this rainy day
I just want to cry
But oh pity me
My tear ducts are dry

On this rainy day
I just want to choke
On my wet tears, but
My tear ducts are broke.
I wish I could cry, but all there is is emptiness.
May 2015 · 380
Untitled 11
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
And just like a glow stick
You snapped me in half
And all the light poured out.
Now I'm just an empty shell.
May 2015 · 207
Just Another Heartbreak
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
I let you into
Me. I let you run rampant
You ran over me.
Just another heartbreak. Please pray for me.
May 2015 · 375
A Body Of Pain
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
Eyes
Crying
Lips
Screaming
"What will I do?"

Heart
Breaking
Mind
Freaking
"Oh, I miss you"

Chest
Tightening
Stomach
Lurching
"Why does ot hurt?"

Heart
Not beating
Lungs
Not breathing
"I think I'm done with this part."
I'm so tired of being hurt by the people I love the most. Dear God, please make it stop.
May 2015 · 365
To Love
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
To love
Is to expose yourself
Wholeheartedly
To heartbreak.

To bring someone into your heart
And trust them
Not to rip it to shreds.

To reserve a little space
In your mind and thoughts
For that human being
Who impressed you
Told you they
Loved you
Showed you affection.

Destruction is

For that person
To say they never liked you
For them to take
Your exposure
And abuse it.

Even though you trusted them
And brought them into you like
A counterpart
Of your heart
They rip you to shreds inside.

They take that reserved parking spot
That you cleared for them
And they graffiti it,
And burn it up
And then leave

Leave you a trembling
Crying mess
Who just wants to know what they did
Wrong.
And when you finally find out,
Its not good enough

Because even though the reason
Is not a real reason
They still hurt you
And you can't hate them

Because inside, you are cleaning up that
Graffiti they drew
And those scorch marks they burned
And you just
Can't
Hate them.
You can't.

Because despite everything,
You are still holding out hope that
They might come back
And apologize.
For the first time in my life, I don't want anyone to ask me what's wrong. I just want to pretend that none of it happened-that it was all a bad dream. But every morning, I know I will wake up and remember it really happened.
God help me.
May 2015 · 414
Poetry
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
The who
Write it for yourself

The what
Write your life
Your love
Your hate
Your feelings

The why
Write because you want to
Not for the *trending
tag
Or the liked heart

The when
Write whenever you want
Whenever the emotions invading
Your
Mind
Are so strong that you just
Can't
Breathe anymore

The where
Write on walls
On the hearts
Of loved ones
On paper
On keys of a computer
On your arms
And
Legs
Anywhere words will fit
Poetry is not to be labeled,
So don't try.
Just write.
May 2015 · 2.0k
MAN IN A TARDIS
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
Not all
Fangirls
And Fanboys
Are obsessed

But I think that in all of us
There is that tiny hope that
One day
A madman in a
Blue box
Will come to take us away from this crazy
Thing
Called
Reality.
May 2015 · 454
Photos
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
Every photo
Has a memory of its
Own to hold its hand
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