Feb 13 · 194
Hallelujah, what a King
A time will come when days are dark
Your lantern will not light a spark
The devil, then, will leave his mark
And night will sweep toward us

The darkness will blot out the light
And every hour will be as night
All of mankind will be a'fright
When the devil comes a'callin

But there is hope inside this tale
The sun will wipe away the vale
And then all wickedness will fail
We'll hear a brighter story

The Lord will come in chariots bright
He'll banish blackness, greet the light
His righteousness-oh what a sight
When He will come again

Like a warrior He will come
Into His loving arms we run
His brilliance is like the sun
He'll banish fear and sadness

The devil He will send away
In all His glorious bright array
We'll go to heaven where we'll stay
And live with Him forever

And when all things are said and done
And when the dark o'r takes the sun
upon the golden streets we'll run
And live with Him in glory

So take hope then, He's coming soon
To have the sun, wait out the moon
He sings a sweeter, richer tune
Hallelujah what a King
Feb 10 · 152
Chance #7
I keep hearing
Everyone say
"Drop people
Who bring negativity
Into your life"
And that's all well and good

But everyone
Brings some kind
Of negativity into
Your life
And following
That rule
Will only make you
And alone

And at the end of the day
True friendship
Is about
And second chances
And damnit if I'm not going to give
All the love
And second chances
I can

Because in reality
The only people that matter
Are the ones who do the same
To you
Give as many chances as you can, as much love as you can handle, and as much forgiveness as there is to give. You can always cut someone out another day, but once you do, there's no going back.
Feb 4 · 48
Untitled 43
Jesus keep me safe tonight
And stay my wandering soul
Jan 31 · 333
Things Hoped For
Just because I hate the city
Doesn't mean I want
I long for the powerful armored ocean
To pound at
My feet
Entreating me
Begging me
I dream
Of the quiet
Misty green
In their solitude
And mighty
In their sustaining of
I hope for
The soft, strong
Air of sailing
To beat against my face
To lift me
Into it's blue embrace
My heart beats
For the pines
And great in beauty
I don't want a quiet life
I want a wild life
Take me to the ocean so deep I cannot stand, bring me to the mountains where I feel the urge to climb, whisk me away to the magic of nature, to the unnatural side of the trees.
When you asked me what was wrong
I told you I was tired
I am tired
I'm tired of always
The broken one
Jan 31 · 29
I have felt the pull of mountains
And the rush of roaring seas
Yes, I have tasted freedom
And it's where I long to be
It kind of hit me the other day that a year ago, I was considering moving to WA state. I miss the cold mist and green pines of the mountains, and all the life in the silence of solitude.
Jan 28 · 118
We're All Mad Here
Have you ever wondered if this is a dream?
If maybe all of this chaos
Is nothing but a dim shadow
Us and eternity?
Or maybe if you're going insane, and Every conversation you have
Every decision you make
Is all based on the charade
That is mental instability?
Often I wonder if others are
Going crazy
Or if I am the insane one, spending
My day's going back and forth
Across a spinning ball in space
And if maybe
Just maybe
Others wear the mask
So as not to betray
My insanity
Jan 23 · 40
And at night
When the demons come a-calling
And the devil comes a-screaming
In my ear,
There is nowhere to turn
But the arms of a Savior
Who's loving arms
Are always near
Jan 22 · 42
Often times it may seem like you have had so much mercy from the throne of Grace that it seems He must soon run out of it to give- Not so. His love is an eternal wellspring; it can never dry up from all our sin-no, His is an everlasting love.
Jan 14 · 56
I Am The Vine
In times of trouble
Echo still
These long-loved words of
Jesus' will

In times of darkness
And betrayal
God's glorious words
Make this trail

When  thundering waves
My ship shakes
These loving words
Will steady make

When hope is lost and
I give up
These glorious words have
Filled my cup

And when my heart now
Pierced with knife
"I'm the resurrection
And the life"
Jan 14 · 44
Look Again
There will always be a darker sin
But there will always be a deeper love
In hopes of one day
Loving more we will treasure
The moments we had
Jan 10 · 36
Mistakes We've Made
Maybe it was all too soon
Maybe we loved too hard

Maybe you were all the sun
But I was only stars

Maybe we, two, fell too fast-
We held hands for too long

We were never meant to last
We both sang different songs

I could never be your type
And you'll never be mine

We both know we've made mistakes
In our long lost past

We were never meant to love
Were never meant to last

Maybe one day someday soon
We'll meet in some cafe

Our eyes will meet, as before
And we will smile and wave

Your hand will drop to your side
And with a tight-lipped grin

You'll walk down your own damn road
And you will love again

But this time I'll leave you alone
To love another heart

For now, we'll pass-unlikely friends
And we will be apart
Jan 7 · 42
Gory to Glory
I feel the hurting deep within
A punishment for all my sin
I'm in pain and I cannot win
Oh God, may you be glorified

He touches me where others won't
And sends to me these harmful stones
And tells me this is what He wrote
"I, God must be glorified"

He tests me with bitter remorse
In order to play out His course
To my lowest I am forced
So He will be glorified

For one day I know He will come
And show to me His holy son
And to His loving arms I run
For He will be glorified

So I'll gladly fill a smaller space
Alone within a harder place
And go where I can't see His face
If only God be glorified
Dec 2017 · 18
Slowly, horribly
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2017
I can feel myself slowly
Losing our "you and me"
And I hate this so desperately
God, I miss the way we were.
To someone I never thought I would lose to anything but death.
Dec 2017 · 36
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2017
Bring in the silence of the darkness
the sweet serenity of night
The companionship of the moon
The quiet-my delight
I don't remember the last time there was silence in my head.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2017
I don't deserve your loving hand
I don't deserve your soft commands
I don't deserve your perfect plan
No, nor the way you love me

I don't deserve this "string of luck"
That from your strengthened stores you pluck
I don't deserve this chord you've struck
In all the ways you love me

I don't deserve eternal life
With no more tears and no more strife
You've spared me from the devils knife
With all the ways you love me

I used the be a wandering one
But then you came and gave your son
All my battles you have won
Yes, I know you love me

You love me when I disobey
And from your golden path I stray
But still you are my strength and stay
Lord, I'm so glad you love me

Without you my soul would be lost
And I would be hung on that cross
For words I am at such a loss
Lord, I need you to love me.

All you ask is my love, too
And Jesus I know this is true
I would be worthless without you
I love the way you love me
Dec 2017 · 44
Used to believe
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2017
I used to believe
In happy endings
I used to believe
That everything would work out
That one day
I would find someone
I used to live
Like I was waiting for the greatest
I used to have faith
In humanity
In good
And in myself

But I guess it's been too long
Now a sunny day is just weather
A smiling stranger
Is just another person
Beautiful things are just

I used to believe that I would meet
The man of my dreams
But now I know
That I already have
And now I know
That he will never be mine
God always seems to put words in my head at the strangest times.
Nov 2017 · 55
Untitled 42
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
Let yourself be humbled
Not abused
Nov 2017 · 72
Mt. Rainier
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I miss you and the
Snowy mountain tops and the
Misty miles of pines
Nov 2017 · 347
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I wish
Oh, I wish
I knew how to help you
Nov 2017 · 544
Untitled 41
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I've always thought
Of someone saying
"I miss you"
"You are missing
From my life"
And I think that's
Nov 2017 · 51
First Snowfall
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I complain all
Winter of the cold
But the truth is
When I've been hurt
And I feel betrayed
And my heart has been
From my chest
There is nothing more comforting
Than hot tears
On freezing cheeks
My breath visible on the air
And the soft sound
Of my boots in the snow
As I travel down the sidewalk of a well-lit street
At night
Nov 2017 · 70
Untitled 40
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
My stretch marks
Are my battle scars
Maps of my bravery
And stories of my victories
There is nothing more beautiful
To me
Nov 2017 · 120
The Past Has Passed
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
Our friendship is simply
Turned into
Nov 2017 · 43
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
It hurts constantly
But at least it's constant.
I've been dealing with this pain for so long, and I guess that so many things in my life change, but this...this is forever. It's always been there. And it hurts me constantly, but at least it's constant.
Nov 2017 · 46
Sleepless Nights {Haiku}
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I often wonder
What silence must be like and
Where peacefulness lies
I've been struggling with tinnitus, and it's so loud. I don't remember what silence is like.
Nov 2017 · 59
Obey The Rules
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I am sick
Of feeling down
Like an anvil is on my chest

I am tired
Of your voice grinding my eardrums
Making me feel

I am done
With this lifestyle
That I have been living

I hate
This view
You have of me
As if I am less than dirt

You told me
To gain confidence
Learn to speak my mind

So this is me telling you
I'm sick of your lies
I'm tired of your voice
I'm done with this place
I am done with you
Nov 2017 · 54
There And Back Again
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
We were nine
Can still remember
Our little hands parted
And you left
Went far away
I cried
And you weren't there

I got my first ever letter in the mail
It was from you
I sent one back the moment I'd read yours
But you didn't respond for months

I finally got to see you again
We spent days laughing
And then we had to leave, and you hardly said goodbye

We meet every year
I was always so excited to see you
But then one day
I ran into your house
And you weren't there
You were with someone else

We were eighteen
I was in Washington
You were in Ohio
Forever apart
And he left you
I was there

But later when my heart was broken
You weren't there

When I started volleyball
You weren't there

When I got my first
Amazing job
You weren't there

When I lost weight
I hadn't spoken to you in weeks
And I knew you were off work
And all I wanted to do
Was tell you
But you weren't there

Are you sensing a pattern?

I guess I'm just tired of being
Always second
Nov 2017 · 119
Second-hand Love
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
This wasn't meant to happen,
This fluttering called love
It all began one cold fall day
When you forgot your glove

I'd seen your face many times
You'd been in here before
Your order is "One large mocha,
And a number twenty-four"

You said your name was Adam
And I guess it's meant to be
Because my imaginary friend
Was Adam Backlebee

The day this all began,
Was blustery and cold
And neither one of us forknew
Your hand was mine to hold

"I'm sorry, please excuse me",
You muttered, passing by
But little did you know,
Your little grin had caught my eye

You smiled bigger, looking back
And then I was done for
Cupid's arrow of red hearts
Had pierced me to the core

And here we are, years later
And you're down on one knee
So here's to you, and here's to us
And our eternity
Oct 2017 · 48
Just a Dream
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
No matter how
Much sleep I get
No matter how many
Pills I take
I am still drifting
Through life
No, existence
As though I am
Watching the waves
Of pale snow wash
Over the ground
I am alone
I am cold
I am scared
And often times
I don't know if I'm really here
Or if I am only a dream
I didn't want this
I didn't ask for it
But now the screams
In my head
Grow ever louder
And the pain in my chest
Ever more bitter
All I wanted was
To live
To exist
But oh, Lord
What I must have done
To deserve life
In such a hell
As this
Oct 2017 · 46
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
Something doesn't have to last forever
To be perfect
Some things
Are only for the now
And oh, how much more precious
They are made
Because of it
Oct 2017 · 45
Broken Souls
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
It started slowly
The impending doom
Something I knew
Was coming soon
I could feel it washing over me
Like the cold harsh waves
Of the ocean
Before a storm
And it's bitter,
This pill of mine
Sometimes it goes down sideways
And there are days
When I can't breathe
Other days
It's a little better
And my future days
Seem a little bit
But the more I live
And love
The more I realize
I am broken
And I am afraid
And I am afraid of my brokenness
Oct 2017 · 66
Untitled 39
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
All I need
Is someone
Who understands
Why I ask if they hate me.
Oct 2017 · 55
Everything Has Changed
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
I used to look forward
To nights like this
With every laugh
I felt joy
With every smile
I was content
With every thought
I was confident
But now
It's different
With every song
I'm nervous
With every movement
I'm self-conscious
With every comment
I am uncomfortable
We may try
To go back
But it's not
The same
And everything
Is different
Has changed
Oct 2017 · 43
Untitled 38
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
Everyone is happy
To accommodate you
When you are young
"She has some problems"
"She'll grow out of it"

But they don't tell you
When you're older
You have to figure it out on your own
On your own
Oct 2017 · 48
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
2AM is the devil's hour
It is then that your sleep slips away
Like the sun gives way to moon
And it is then that your demons
Come out to play.
Oct 2017 · 58
The Irony of Death
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2017
She tried to show the cracks
That lay ridden in her heart
To show the bleeding veins within
Before she fell apart

She tried one time to tell them
But they didn't understand
The hell that she was going through
Was getting out of hand

They didn't think to ask her
Until it was too late
They'd lost their chance too heal the cracks
She'd been crushed from all the weight

So when it finally ended
It came as quite a shock
They asked and cried and wondered why
she never tried to talk

But oh the irony of death
For people never say
How much they really love you
Until you've gone away
Sep 2017 · 103
One day-someday
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2017
One day it will be over
One day the pain will stop
One day with every breath I take
My heart and soul won't drop

One day I'll breathe again
With ease I'll find my sleep
One day our trials will go away
We'll finally get some peace

One day these walls won't know my tears
As well as they do now
But here I'm barely staying here
I'm trying not to drown

We're held back by hard "what ifs"
And chained by cold "somedays"
If I can say anything, it's that
One day we'll be okay
This won't last forever. One day He will come and we will ride on chariots of pure light and know nothing but bliss for eternity.
Sep 2017 · 66
Demons Don't Sleep
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2017
Some turn to drink
And some turn to grass
We all turn to things
That we know will not last

But oh my beloved
Remember always
We all have our demons
That won't go away
Sep 2017 · 65
Who we are
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2017
We are all
Just broken souls
Learning to love ourselves
At a time
Sep 2017 · 234
The Way We Were
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2017
I miss the way things used to be
I miss the way we were
I miss the love I felt all day
And how I felt so sure

I miss the way we'd fellowship
Sing and talk late at night
I miss the way we were together
Fighting the good fight

I miss the laughter that we shared
And all the bitter tears
And how it felt that all that stuff
Would last for years and years

I miss all of the time we spent
Learning more and more
Of nooks and crannies we had found
In our hearts and souls

I hope we come again one day
To where we used to be
Where we can talk and sing again
Of where we long to see.
Aug 2017 · 264
Nights Like This
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
Even with all the hardship
The heartbreak
The death
The lies
And evil of this world,
There is still some good.
There is still the moon reflecting off dark water
There is still birds singing in the sun
There are still nights like tonight
And it's nights like this,
With the window open to the cold air
The stars and moon shining
The violin crickets
Good music
And old friends
That make all the sorrows
Of this world
Worth it
We will survive together.
Aug 2017 · 84
The Words I Would Say
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
If I could tell you anything
If any words could fall from my lips
And slip into your ears
I would say
I'm sorry
I'm sorry that even though
You are so blissfully
Beautifully happy
I can't be happy for you
I'm sorry
Because right now
I'm so unhappy with myself
That it's hard for me
To be happy for anyone else
Aug 2017 · 73
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
It's fall
And the trees are changing
Daintily dropping their leaves
To the grateful ground
Wind whispering through their branches

It's fall
And the rain is pelting
Against my window
Inviting me to stay inside
With hot tea
And a good book

It's fall
And the smells are enchanting
Wet grass after a long storm

It's fall
And I'm wearing sweatpants
Giant sweaters
And long socks
Warming my feet by the fire

It's fall
And the cool wind
Rushes through my hazel hair
And tossing itself about my

It's fall
And squirrels are everywhere
Hiding food
And chattering
To each other
Across the trees

It's fall
And my bed is inviting

It's fall
And I want to lose myself
In a good book
A fire
And myself

It's fall
And I feel at peace
Summer is overrated.
Aug 2017 · 78
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
We're all still learning
To love ourselves
Aug 2017 · 79
Untitled 37
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
I Hopeless sinner
Have been made
A Hopeful saint
Aug 2017 · 143
Darling, Oh my Darling
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
I am not in love with you
The way you are with him
I don't get butterflies
And goosebumps on my skin
I don't want to touch you
I'm not haunted by the might-have-beens
But darling, oh my darling,
I love you

I don't want to share our beds
In dark hotels at night
I just want to watch the stars
And hold you oh so tight
I don't want to kiss you
I just want to give you my whole life
And darling, oh my darling
I love you

I love how your lashes sweep
Over your sleepy eyes
I just think you're more lovely
Than all the sweeping skies
You don't have to love me
I just wish there was a compromise
Cus darling, oh my darling
I love you

I love you as I love myself
And often even more
If I am every ocean wave,
Then you must be the shore
There's something in your eyes
I just love the way I am done for
And darling, oh my darling,
I love you

My best friend, I adore you
And yet, you adore him
He is the lover of your life
And I am just a friend
I don't want you to leave him
I just want you to let me in
Cus darling, oh my darling,
I love you

And when one day you remember
The days when we were forever
Darling, oh my darling,
I'll still love you
Aug 2017 · 161
Just As I Am
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
Just as I am
Poor wandering soul
Where I am broken
You are whole
And where I'm lead
Is in your control
Oh lamb of God I come, I come

Just as I am
My heart is yours
And into your well
My love is poured
And life forever
I'm assured
Oh Lamb of God I come, I come

Just as I am
You love me still
And when death comes,
It is your will
But by my God,
Stand by, I will
Oh Lamb of God I come, I come

Just as I am
Your love is more
Than any I have felt before
And when I reach the golden shore,
We'll sing "Lamb of God I come, I come"
My own addition to "Just as I am without one plea"
Aug 2017 · 68
Untitled 36
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2017
My day is no longer
One moment to the next
One hour to the next
One smile to the next

Instead it is
One dosage to the next
One pill to the next
One health issues to the next

And for all of the effort
I put into remembering
My pills
I'm not living anymore
I am only existing
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