So many acquaintances on social media,
But no friends in reality.
All alone in this world.

I check my phone to see zero messages,
No one checking up on me,
No one wishing me "Merry Christmas."
Everyone enjoying in their own world, be it with blood or be it friends.

Loneliness is the only thing that I'm surrounded with.

I'm all alone.

All alone in this world.

Always forlorn.

No one knows me; no one cares about me.

I'm just a lonely person with a phone in hand crying over pointless things.

00:00
angst has vexed over my every thought. my eyes are embedded with grief and its every tear bleeds sorrow.

01:27
my legs drag my aching frame away from the warm blanket to my freezing balcony. the cool air has chilled my every bone but i keep on lying on that cold surface.

02:00
my soul seems confined from east to west, yet i can only dream of darkness gliding over my veins. a constant state of misery with a spoon of hate.

03:30
my eyes are wide open, watching the ever darkening sky breathe, with the stars forming the shape of, wait, a person, i think. a person who looks exactly like me, who cries herself to sleep, has scars on her wrists and falls apart as soon as she closes her room's door.

04:00
my body seems numb, absolutely empty, as empty as an addict's bottle. my eyes start closing, shakily i shut my balcony's door shut and enter my room only to feel how foolish i was, to believe it'll get better.

06:00
the sun has risen but the light doesn't seem to reach my soul. i am unable to sleep, so i just get up and make myself a cup of coffee.
everything gets better, my ***.

Khushi B

The bloodied wound
Of patriarchy
Swings majestically
Round my neck,
Wavering my thoughts
Of what to be
And what not to be.

I look around
Viewing people fight
Misogyny and sexism.

For I try to do that too,
Until I fall once again into a muck,
Watching **** crimes
On a daily basis
Watching acid attack victims
On a daily basis.

For, some
Are too illiterate to know the meaning
Of the word, no.
For their egos are so small,
That they can’t handle rejection.

The bloodied wound
Of patriarchy
Hangs majestically
Round my whole body,
Begging me to tame it,
Oh dear lord,
There is ****** of womanhood
happening all around,
With people pointing to the length of our clothes,
To the pitch of our voices.
-
@enchantingnachokitten

I abhor myself for breathing in grey,
When I wish to come out as a rainbow.

But they say it’s erring,
They make me feel mortified of some delinquency I have never performed,
They glower,
They call me horrendous things.
They take me to the temple,
To sponge off everything they think is wrong,
And do not realise god has more significant issues
Than a girl lying curbed in a closet.

My mind is anxious,
My body is insecure,
I am ashamed,
For, I do not have the nerve to bolt their mouths with my fist,

It feels that this society will never let me escape,
Some call it a phase that will just pass,
Some call me confused.
But in real, it’s there mind what’s fused.

The hole I am confined in,
Is small and suffocating,
I am unable to breathe.
Oh dear, when will I stand in light
With my head held high with pride?

Getting accepted is much more than getting a prize.

But I will rise,
I will rise from this,
And will feel glad and proud for who I am.

I am a rainbow!
-Khushi Batra

A sinister night,
Where cheeks are flushed
And face is light,
I ran towards my sister,
With a bucket of candy and eyes of a devil,
“Booooooo” I frighten her.
“Aaaaaaaa” she screams.
Oh my, it’s me, your sister.
How’s the ghost’s costume?
Happy Halloween!
-@enchantingnachokitten

more sunshine,
more smiles,
more laughs,
more happiness,
more kisses,
more cuddling,
more conversations,
more flowers.
less snow,
less squabbling,
less darkness,
less pain,
less sorrow,
less regret,
more love.
more humanity.
~khushi

Day 1
I see you, you see me, hellos are exchanged.

Day 2
You call me pretty. You ask me on a date. I tell him no.

Day 3
He sees me again, drags me in a deserted alley. I say no. I scream no. I shout, but no one listens. His friends arrive, I resist, I ask them to leave me, but they left unconscious.

Day 4
I wake up naked, in a deserted alley, with my clothes all tattered. I cry, I call for help, no one does. I stand up, walk towards my home, facing the murmurs of the neighbours.

Day 5
I lay unconscious in my shower, from all the crying.

Day 10
I force my legs to move out of the house, only to feel disgusted by the male species there.

Day 15
I wake up to see my friend moving out for she can’t stay with a **** survivor.

Day 18
I force myself again to step out of the house. I cross the street, only to be haunted by their faces, only to feel their voices echo in my ears.

Day 20
I visit the police station. The investigation began. I showed them the bruises. But the police officer’s ***** looks made me return back.

Day 30
I start with my therapy sessions.

Day 65
I had a panic attack again, this evening, when a guy asked me out.

Day 70
I saw their faces again. In that alley. Under my leg. In my lips.

Day 120
I saved a girl today from being *****.

Day 200
I have started having nightmares, again.

Day 250
Today was my last therapy session.

Day 300
I plan to speak up.
Day 301
I visited the police station.

Day 305
They asked me why did I take so long? I had no answer.

Day 307
They came for questioning again. I narrated them the whole ordeal.

Day 309
They started investigating. I still get nightmares.

Day 320
They closed the case, for there was no evidence.

Day 321
I narrated it to my family members, no one believed me.

Day 365
I hung myself.

-@enchantingnachokitten

You know that moment, when you’re tired. Tired and frustrated of actually nothing. You think what’s wrong with you, but that moment, you just want to go to your room, away from everyone and everything and let everything out. You’re so tangled in your thoughts that you just want to lie down and think and then you start having those scary thoughts, which make you feel confined. You seal yourself in your room and think of murdering your mind, for it talks too much. You unseal your room and decide to go for a walk. You walk, you jog, but both, your mind and your heart start fighting so loudly that you stop. You stop, and ask them to shut up, but the civil war inside your body never does. You decide to leave everything away and start afresh, you do. You change your city, you change your address, you keep changing everything, until you realise that past will always be permanent. For your, thoughts, will always haunt you, making you, the prisoners of your past, until you start sharing, until you start talking. Your heart may weep at night, your eyes may bleed in the morning, your ruthless brain may say it’s all gonna be okay, you may feel that you’re buried five feet under your thoughts, without a coffin, nothing will be okay, until you start talking, start sharing. You’re so engrossed in your thoughts that you do not hear the honking of the car, until the driver comes out and shakes your body. For maybe, you’ve left your past behind, but the past would never leave you. You’d drown yourself in the ocean of thoughts sailing in the ship of tequila, until it te quils you. -@enchantingnachokitten

nothing waits for me except eternal darkness,
for, I want to splurge my existence in that void,
the abyss of harmlessness.

so, here I rise with a blade in my hand, listening to pink floyd,
and there, it pierced my wrist,
I never felt more alive.
As I sink lower into that grey chasm,
I fall deeper and deeper into the fate I have written,
fearing I may regret this, one day.
-@enchantingnachokitten

Hi! Do I know you? Have we met earlier?
You seem alone, wanna come inside my house?
Maybe grab a coffee?, I asked the strange looking woman who looked awfully familiar.
“I’m here to take you”, she whispered.

And at that moment I knew who she was,
The queen of darkness.
She came to take me again.

With her clothes so black,
Even the light would be scared of them.
With face so red,
Even the blood would be jealous.
With her voice so scary,
That the opera of horror choked itself.
With eyes so white,
That the salt hid from the kitchen, feeling terrorized.

“You can’t escape from me, you need to return back to the land where you belong”, she growled.
I ran and ran but she caught me in her void again,
Making me fall in that world of wretchedness again.
“Darkness, my old friend, I’m back”, I cried.
-Khushi :’)

There is something about this miraculous sea,
Dexterously painting the sky with different shades,
Entwining the clouds and sun simultaneously,
Clumping the small granules together to form a grandiose castle,
Singing lullabies with its shimmering waves,

A divine abode.
A utopian paradise.

-Khushi :)

Alive but barely breathing,
Fracturing the backbone of hope; lynching majestically beneath the shell,
I scream to get all the happiness out of my system.

Death despoils like a famished brute on my frame;
Caressing my body soothingly.
I slide, only to feel my wounds leaking,
I slide, to feel that uncanny sensation again.

Alive but barely breathing.
Waiting for the god of death to pay me a visit,
As he is the only one who can clutch me through this.
-Khushi:)

Drops of blood, sprayed like water on a rainy day.
Deafening silence echoing in the precarious sedentary walls,
Light blue sky diminishing into a desolate,
Evil laughter follows in my ear, making my eardrums bleed.
Fear conquers my determination,
Encompassing me with defeat and decay.
Dread boiled over my sorrow,
And I run back to my room,
Seeing four beautiful words on my bloodied mirror.

YOUR END IS HERE.

-Khushi

Darkness wriggles in my body like grape vines,
With their skin not so pellucid
And eyes all bloodshot,
They cosset my body gently,
Only to inspect my phizog bounteous with torment.

Bucketing their malevolence charisma into me,
They beam.
I could feel my heart crushing
And my breath slowing down.
I try to breathe
Only to find myself
Choking into the deadly littoral of darkness.
-Khushi:)

With quiescence parroting
and an achromic sheet ensconcing your frame
the padre chants
only to ausculate your loved ones sniffle.
I watched you being buried.
deeper
and
deeper.

a friend, a brother, a lover and a son.

now,
Resting in an array of stars
waiting for the sun to rise in the
high northern sky.
-Khushi :’)

Dear naani ma,
I’ll always remember the stories you told, the cakes you baked and the laughs we shared. I still chuckle out loud, at the memory when you were trying the new recipe and I insisted on doing the frosting, on those cupcakes, and later on, we had a food fight. How much I miss those days, when I was able to run back to you, whenever, I fought with my siblings! I’ll always miss our adventurous trips. I laugh at that day, when you encouraged me to ride on that roller coaster and later on, you yourself, backed out. Even today, I see your knitting needles lying carelessly on your dressing table.
Your room still smells of you and your comforting scent. I miss you so much that whenever a song comes on the radio, I get reminded of our car karaoke sessions. Now, whenever I go to the park, and see someone picking up flowers, I can’t help and wonder if you’d come back. I’m writing this to let you know that I miss you, I miss your smile, your laugh, your scent, your dishes, your words and of course you. Thank you for teaching me how to love and care, thank you for giving birth to my mother. Thank you for being you. I hope we meet again, one day, among the clouds or between the waves. May your soul rest in peace!
Love,
Khushi:)

It’s about that moment,
Walking in the hallway,
Smiling at each other,
And that rushed “Hello”.

It’s about that moment,
Strolling at a park,
And looking into each other’s eyes,
And that amazed, “Fancy seeing you here”.

It’s about that moment,
Buying a coffee,
And asking for a change
And that surprised, “Thank you”.

It’s all about that moment,
The moment destined to be,
You and I.
-Khushi :)

You dug your fingers into me,
For, I still feel your breath.
You wrapped your hands on my body,
For, I still feel your touch.
You made me your slave,
For, I still feel the pain.
You sabotaged my soul.
For, I still see the blood on my sheets.
Blood, the red syrup, which leaked
Until it choked my throat.
Blood, the tepid plasma, which spilled
Out like rotten water.
You filled my life with so much venom,
For, I still feel its poison in my mouth.
And just like that a lust filled animal, took the beam
From my existence.
-Khushi :)

With frosty weather lynching in the sky,
And navy blue waves, fleeting swiftly.
I make my way to the unfertile sand,
Hearing faint howls.
I look back to see
Shadows surrounding me,
Against my naked soul.

Hearing a thunder,
I step back,
Only to be embraced by a boorish cable.
Run, my psyche screamed.
With blood dripping from my skin,
And darkness forcing into my flesh,
I ran until I fainted
Only to welcome a new world filled with
Vengeance
-Khushi :)

I listen the sound of the waves,
booming quietly like a lullaby,
With a pleasing summer zephyr levitating across the graves.

I witness the water dancing against the golden sand,
And it’s each drop laughing with their mouths wide open
Making the sea gulls cry, as if in a band.

I hear the sound of the butterflies fluttering,
Across the loose trees
Talking of despondency, contentment and of course,
the beauty of the waves crashing.

I smell your scent, looking towards my right to see you,
Seeking pleasure in those pathless woods
Walking hand in hand,
And exploring the breeze
Beneath those rhapsodic trees.
-Khushi :’)

Allured by the clichés of love
And fantasy,
She savours his fragrance,
Dipped with honey,
Every day and night.
With her lips laced with sweetness
And eyes screaming  compassion,
She invited him in.
Pivoting on his perverted thoughts,
He gladly accepted.
just to start another round of clichéd
confessions.
-Khushi :)

I slide, you grind.
I nibble, you dither.
I touch, you moan.
I feel, you gasp.
I open, you erupt.
I wrap, you linger.
I explore, you groan.
I rub, you beg.
I claw, you stare.
I guide and you surrender
Making us captives of lust
And passion.
-Khushi :)

With your eyes blazing lust,

And your breath fanning my neck,

Your hand reaches mine.

You lose my grip every now and then

But never let me go.

I slither my tongue

In your sweet lips.

A soft moan escapes your lips

Making me smile.

Gasping, you press me against the wall,

As I slip down way your body.

Screams of pleasure echo,

As you send shivers down my body every now and then.

With tension building

And more teasing,

I wrap my arms tightly against your body,

And melt into you.

Faster then slower.

Slowly, and slowly we go deep down

Into the ocean of ecstasy.


-Khushi

Loneliness plops in my soul
like the daylight rain.
With a light of hope
hanging majestically under my heart.
My hand are nippy,
covered with ink and filthy red marks.
The whispers still echo in those domestic vistibules,
rumpling me under million ounces of guilt.
The spirits come and hum soft words to me, filling
my mind with deceitful lies.
The creeps glissade me
in sentences
aimed by their ugly tongues.
Making hope grow down
my maneuvers.
-Khushi

scream at your mother, until your throat is dry and then slither in her lap, and cry. -Khushi :)

follow me on instagram @enchantingnachokitten

Once jaunty and lively,
Now playing with poison ivy.
Earlier wanting to be a libertine,
Now waiting for death to oblige.

Abdomen with an incision,
Knees with bruises,
And face with cuts,
He is a shattered glass
Cuddling with darkness.

Surrounded by unbridled wickedness
And bogus thoughts,
He wonders
What will happen at the crack of dawn.
-Khushi :)

Flabbergasted with its conglomeration of cheese and tomato sauce
Gobsmacked with the way its cheese drips down the bread.
With garlic lingering in every bite.
I love its sight.

Its succulent mozzarella makes me feel gold
But the thin crust ain’t that bold.
It’s crispy and gooey.
Asking me to take another sip of whiskey.

I devour it from inside out
Fearing that it rather make me stout.

Onions, tomatoes, cheese and pepperoni
Mushrooms, ham and macaroni
Serve me again
With extra cheese
If it may please.
-Khushi :)

Your perfect curves

ensnaring over my frame.

Your irresistible soft pink lips

Inviting mine,

Massaging our tongues.

Your jaunty demeanour

making my heart palpitate.

Your seductive smirk

Dovetailing our bodies

Letting me see your gorgeous décolletage

Your bold persona

Purging the tension from my soul.

After your reckless claim

My smock hung loose on your torso

With desire fawning in your oculars.

Making me the purple of your pink.

-Khushi

The king of darkness called me a year ago,
Making me drink rufescent blood from
The wine chalice every night.
Forcing me to breathe
a life overflowing with ****.
Asking me to breathe
The silence in chateau lobbies.
Making me listen the wails and the cries
of the innocent.

Not letting it engulf me further,
I darted away from it.
But it caught me again.
Leaving my nights slumberless.
The ghosts haunted me every night,
with their shadows dancing on the walls.

They called me again today,
But this time the king wanted me to
taste
the garden of death.
-Khushi :)

I sleep in late to enjoy the nightmares.
Get easily seduced by the pain.
Happiness gives me an uncanny sensation of consternation.
Surrounding me in a void of wretchedness and misery.
When I look into the mirror
Soulless eyes of abhorrence stare back at me,
With an evil smirk on his face,
I smash the glass and lick the blood
From my knuckles.
Memories of glee and enthusiasm from my childhood
Gnaw at me; haunt me with their claws filled with delight.
A hysterical laughter is strained through my lungs
When I see my blood on the floor.
I sit in this abyss of darkness both
Day and night, till the god of death
Pays me a visit.
-Khushi :)

The dark clouds linger in the sky.
The rain is about to cry.
The fate has been written.
The worst is yet to be smitten.
The sun has set in the west.
Darkness has worn its dress.
So here am I standing alone in the dark
Waiting for the destiny to bark.
I wait.
I shiver.
My mind quivers.
My soul dithers.
I sit alone and hold.
Smiling, I retire back.
Because I’ve realised
Darkness is my destiny.
Darkness is my life.
I belong here.
-Khushi :)

My muscles pound
My limbs become sore and bulky.
My mind spins a million thoughts in
a single jiffy of emptiness,
and yet I cache it to myself.
Fear takes over and silence turns up.
The struggles are my own, not for the care of others
Why strain anyone with **** that
even I can't feel?
So I just remain here.
Alone.
With the stars and the moon.
-Khushi :)

I’m hopeless, says everyone
I’m trying.
I’m trying.
My eyes feel as if they are gonna ooze out blood
My mind feels that it’d burst up
My mouth feels dry and muddy
My face feels anaesthetized
I’m waiting for the time but it’s running out.
I’m waiting for the bus to stop, but it never waits.
I’m waiting for her to show up, but she never does.
I’m waiting for a miracle to occur, but it never happens.
My dreams haunt me every night.
But I know that
I know nothing of life
I’m just trapped in an abyss of wretchedness.
I’m a mystery wrapped in a coffin.
And that coffin is my body.
-Khushi :)