Don't text him, don't cave.
You've made him believe you're gone, don't prove yourself wrong.
Don't prove that you can't handle being away from him.
I am weak.
I am pushed, pushed, pushed away... and I keep coming back.
Under the bridge is your favorite red hot chili peppers song.
You hurt your head skating the other day.
You kissed a girl and she didn't call you back.
You smoke Marlboro reds like they're good for you.
You drink beer like it's water.
You drink water like it's liquor.
Your cigarette burns will go unnoticed by the new girl you're talking to.
You flash a smile and my stomach drops.
You broke me in two and it seems I've still not had enough.
I am losing my best friend.
I am being ignored.
"There is nothing that can come between us, we're sisters for life."
There was no blood oath, there was no written promises
Weightless feathers floating through the air
I am trying to figure out the problem and it seems I cannot.
You've been speaking to me with your salon client voice and it cuts deeper than you know.
If I have lost you know that I love you and I never wanted our sisterhood to end.
My best friend Hannah, a chameleon soul, a talented hairdresser, seems to not want to have me around anymore. I cannot explain the amount of turmoil my heart is feeling. She is engaged and I was supposed to be her maid of honor. So long dream.
My new lover lives on his own with his best friend and his love.
"All adults here" we say, then why do I feel as if I'm 10 years old again on the playground feeling the cruel rejection from my classmates.
I am unwanted in this apartment by my lovers closest friend and his girl.
My lover begs for me to lay next to him and sleep, but I cannot when I feel this hatred in my sleep.
His best friend just asked to speak to him privately.
They're outside smoking a cigarette.
And I'm in our room, trying to calm my jumping nerves.
I feel so many things at the moment.
I've had many heartbreaking drives over Braddock, driving to and fro. These lovers can't do me well, I should stop liking these small town boys. There's a difference between city and towns people. "Leave me alone" I say, sitting on your mattress that has no box spring. You say "Good." How can we speak to each other like this if we love each other?
You threw a pack of cigarettes at my chest with force, I lost my patience.
I'm itching your name off like sun burnt skin, these days without you... are something I cannot explain in words, these days without you feel as hollow as the ones with you. See, I know you aren't a substantial lover or the kind of lover I need. You are able to subtract your feelings from the equation whereas mine stays forever constant. I never did well in math, I never thought I would gaze upon us with the same eyes I look upon an equation, one I cannot solve. You, now a resented chapter I pass in the pages of my textbook, I watch as the pages fall effortlessly onto one another, collapsing within itself. With pain I pass your pages, to start a new.
Our chapter is done, but I wish it wasn't. You were my favorite unit to learn.
The feeling of riding shotgun in your car isn't a memorable feeling.
Stopping at all the shops we used to visit again, once hand in hand now three feet apart.
Watching the moon set over the mountains at seven in the morning, with a broken bone, a broken heart, and a cigarette lit between my numb fingers.
If past lovers are lessons, I learned yours the hardest.
Your brown eyed girl now has a fire in her eyes.
I will use it to keep him warm.
The lack of love you gave me will, in the end, haunt you, not me.
"He says it's weird seeing you with anyone other than Paul."
How I cant agree more.
He covers me in blankets of love when you would leave me shivering.
I still crave the scent of your skin.
— The End —