Broadsky May 31
Your inability to take accountability shows me the type of man I was with.
I finally poured my heart out to tell you how you hurt me... you were silent.
Broadsky May 23
I feel like I'm going to puke.
I'm feeling as crazy as driving down your street at 2am blaring my car horn. This is the first we've spoken in months and it feels good. This diaphram strain hasnt been holding me back from singing in the shower, singing our song. Whatever that may be. You wounded me in ways I feel I'll never heal from, I'm down to my last cigarette and I want to smoke it- I got my license so I can get more, maybe ill keep driving and driving til I see your house and your new unfamiliar car parked in front of it. You move me in ways I never expected and I haven't moved your way in what feels like decades.
I love you.
You replied.
Broadsky May 22
"I'm so proud of you" I whisper as I drive on these wet slippery roads, you're at a place you've always wanted to be, and you left me on the corner to get there. I wish I could be there congratulating you as your plus one, but lord knows neither of us could have lived to see that day. Such a small amount of time, 15 months, and yet it holds such significance in my mind even now after almost 4 years of being without you. I still look for you on those loud downtown streets, I still hope you'll be there to see me in my perfected form, so I can brag how far I've run to get to where you are. Will you ever be proud of me? I think we both know the answer and I haunts us.
You just graduated with your degree you've worked so hard to get.
Broadsky Mar 23
I feel stranded and I feel watched.
Like a prisoner.
I hate it.
fuck everything and everyone.
Broadsky Mar 16
right now my chest feels like it has 100 bricks laying across it, my head feels like it weighs 100 pounds and it's going to tip over. We're back where we were when we first started and it's a shame that this is where we've landed. Time after time after time again I have tried to fix this, tried to fix us, tried to fix you. I couldn't save you from yourself, I couldn't save us from this disaster. You aren't the only one to blame, I know I could have done more, I could have forced you to get the help you needed in the beginning, but you didn't want to, you never did. I hope now that I'm leaving you realize you are not okay, that you have never been okay. You're broken and that's alright, just stop trying to pretend you haven't shattered into a million pieces already. You were my world, my moon, the current in my ocean. My soul has never felt more at home in your arms. We loved each other in another life and maybe that was enough, maybe a previous lifetime spent loving you was enough.
Maybe it was enough.
I never wanted to leave you.
Broadsky Mar 13
Dear lover,
How are you? From the looks of it you're happier than ever.
I have never seen you smile the way you do now that you're with her.
She looks so sweet and so kind, and I am so happy for you.
Yet my heart still aches for you lover, my body still craves the feeling of your skin. My mouth is withdrawing from the taste of your lips, and my hair hasn't felt the same since you last ran your fingers through it. You look like you're drinking less, you look like you're spending time doing things that genuinely bring you happiness, my only question is why couldn't it have been with me?
I'm so happy you've finally found her, but I wish it were me.
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