I feel stranded and I feel watched.
Like a prisoner.
I hate it.
fuck everything and everyone.
right now my chest feels like it has 100 bricks laying across it, my head feels like it weighs 100 pounds and it's going to tip over. We're back where we were when we first started and it's a shame that this is where we've landed. Time after time after time again I have tried to fix this, tried to fix us, tried to fix you. I couldn't save you from yourself, I couldn't save us from this disaster. You aren't the only one to blame, I know I could have done more, I could have forced you to get the help you needed in the beginning, but you didn't want to, you never did. I hope now that I'm leaving you realize you are not okay, that you have never been okay. You're broken and that's alright, just stop trying to pretend you haven't shattered into a million pieces already. You were my world, my moon, the current in my ocean. My soul has never felt more at home in your arms. We loved each other in another life and maybe that was enough, maybe a previous lifetime spent loving you was enough.
Maybe it was enough.
I never wanted to leave you.
Broadsky Mar 13
Dear lover,
How are you? From the looks of it you're happier than ever.
I have never seen you smile the way you do now that you're with her.
She looks so sweet and so kind, and I am so happy for you.
Yet my heart still aches for you lover, my body still craves the feeling of your skin. My mouth is withdrawing from the taste of your lips, and my hair hasn't felt the same since you last ran your fingers through it. You look like you're drinking less, you look like you're spending time doing things that genuinely bring you happiness, my only question is why couldn't it have been with me?
I'm so happy you've finally found her, but I wish it were me.
Broadsky Mar 11
You've found the girl you're gonna marry, it killed me.
Nobody's felt a heartache like mine
Tinged with bruises and dollar store wine
Tell me, who are you to stand judgement of me?
When I'm just trying to feel...
Every single time I've felt a spark
I'm left with a wet match by myself in the dark
Could it be us, could it be you and I?
Or will I be left the highest of dry
I am the lovesick girl
No amount of rubies or diamonds or pearls
Can mend such an aching so deeply inside
To which no one can run and hide
You'll never know just how far I'd go
To make you the happiest you've ever known
And yet somehow it's just never enough
And yet somehow it's just never been this tough
And I'm begging you please
To show me some sensitivity
(Just one time before you leave)
I am a woman
And you are a man
They don't write instructions
There's no label on a can
Nothing tangible, nothing you can read
Its inside you and inside of me
So I'll keep on crying at night
And dreaming that someday I'll catch your eye
Until then you know where I am
An innocent one night stand
So there you go
I've beared every inch of my soul
Is it you'd just rather at this point be alone?
Just know you dont have to be
That I'll always be waiting
And I'll never ask you to change, meet requirements or rearrange
Because in order to set my heart aflame
You must stay the same the same the same
Go ahead
hold me a little longer
than usual.
You say to me,
without using any
words at all,
"it should have been me,
its still me."
Like i don't already see
those sky blue eyes
every time i close my own.
Because we're still holding
on to god knows what.
Because it is you
and it will always be you.
  Feb 27 Broadsky
The sun beamed at the meadow with blissful happiness
As I rested by bones, bathed in warmth, the aroma of grass seasoned slightly by water droplets found itself comfortably in my nostrils

Seas of time seemed to stretch out before me with welcoming arms
The perfect tranquility, the soft breeze accompanied with the swaying of the flowers like some rhythmic dance.

Green trees and foliage delighted to see me as I strolled by.
Just over the dip a pond could be seen, jubilantly conversing with lazy dragon flies.

Berries springing from every bush like glimmering jewels residing peacefully in a crown of leaves.
The tactile curiosity of an ant navigating the plains of my palm.

The blue sky stretching vastly in front of me yet seemed as though it was a canvas, waiting for my imagination to paint

A place where time stops.
Wanted to create a landscape poem.
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