You shake and rattle my brain and I curse you under my breath for it.
You stand there intrigued and evaulating why I came to the decision I did.
You ask to see me "only platonically" I say, but you dont mind. I leap for a kiss and I can almost feel your lips on mine... But alas this was just a dream. See I can't understand why you're stuck in my brain like a semiconductive device, no matter how far I travel you always find me. I know I'm the last thing on your mind, I know the thought of my smile doesn't send chills down your spine, I know the pure thought of seeing me does nothing to the butterflies in your belly, for they fall asleep when you think of me.
I know I am of the lucky few to have found a true love after you, one that braids flowers in my hair, and yet I still miss the way your thorns would ***** my skin.
We've ended with a million words and miles between us, I wonder if you dream of me. I'll smoke a cigarette on the way and another one when I get there, wherever that may be. I'm losing the memory of you and it feels foreign to not wear your name anymore, 36 months since and I am simply forgetting how your fingertips swirled my skin; I want to remember. Every improvement I make on this journey without you is wrecked by your ever constant loop around my mind, like the sun's rotation around the earth, there you are again.
Our encounters have become few and far between, I don't wake to find myself in your bed anymore. I haven't felt awake since you last held me, I'm begging my mind to grasp hold of our memories and not let them free for fear of losing them. I remember when I wanted nothing more than to forget your voice, your touch, your laugh. I wanted so badly to forget how well you whistled a tune and how my head laying on your chest made me feel regal.
The bittersweet essence of you still lingers on my tongue, can you feel my kisses on your cigarette burns? Can you remember the smell of my hair and how the curves of my waist made my shudder? Can you remember what it was like to completely consume me with just a kiss? Can you remember my laugh? Will you ever find me again?
Wrote this as soon as I woke up from a dream about you.