Well I don't know how it happened
You just forgot, I guess

The pain receded
I kept breathing
And now...
I wish I hadn't seen that

It hurts to see you function
I hate to watch you love
...
I really hate to watch you love.


I wish you hadn't kissed me
In the wind
Genuine surprise coursing through my veins
I thought those sort of kisses were myths, all
My heart might have stopped

I wish you hadn't let me in
Serenades and rusty blades
Dreams and phone calls
Roller coasters and secret beer

The similarities bring me down
Why can't my soul mate stay my friend?

I hate the way you make me love you.
Every word, I miss the drawl
I used to talk that way.
My twangy southern voice has left and so has my love of spontaneity
You've wrecked it all

All I have is
Anger for your smile


Exploration
You touched my bones



Leave me alone.

Quiet now children
Trailing your ****** rags
The lights must go out
Back to your cells
Back into your minds
Each of you
Retreat into your personal hell and nirvana
Toss and turn
quietly now...
Burn - be reborn
in remembrance of the torture and the pain

We can all be the village
Carry her bones through the streets
Raise her as our own
As though she is alive

The wind whistles into her skin
Gusting through her body
She is not alive
Her muscles mechanically quiver
Trying to bring warmth to the congealed veins

But if she gave up so long ago
Her heart refusing to pump again
Why shouldn't her body sleep too?
Rest my child
Hush, hush.

While she may seem like an angel, crawl closer and smell permeating fear
Her visage morphs - shadows dance on alabaster flesh
Large eyes drawing you in, comforting and innocent
Bleeding lips portray underlying carnivorous greed

Run to the top of the mountain , you will do this for me?
It's time to scream at the sun .
Glory is able to work
my face in small rivers .
I will worship this perfect sky .
Breathing, I am alive .
Why do you keep still ?
Here you are with me , that's what I do .
Bring you to the other side of the mountain ,
where the sun will always shine .
This can be good. This may be mature .
To look at the moon and stars only .
But this side of the mountain will make you grow tall .
This side of the mountain has beautiful flowers.
Run to the top of the mountain , you will do this for me?
It is close to the end of the day .
It is time for shouting at the stars.
Tell them to calm their loud twinkling.
We want to sleep in the sunshine , we are drunk on love.
Take me , breathe with me , look at my eyes when sunlight pours into them.
The sun will burn me in the fire , so that we use our bodies as if they were flint .
Adoration of heaven .
Glory is able to race down the mountain .
Glory waves freshly plucked flower, yelling to me:
We are alive .

I'll be okay if you aren't here to hold me
I'll be just fine because my blood keeps me warm
I'll keep breathing if I can't feel your skin against mine, I promise
I'll be just fine
If you won't be mine


The world screeches to a grinding halt and my heart breaks again
Everything pulsing
Everything Pulsing
My blood throbs behind my eyes
Skewing my vision
Shaking my foundations
A scream, was that my voice?
A vibrato of pain and an all-encompassing dark shroud of guilty pain
I welcome thee

M83 and another sober night
I reach for her knife, but my hand stills. Can I stop the flow for mere moments?
A semblance of normality would cheer my little shaking soul.
I want to appear as a white beast with dark auras, not a dead thing by the wayside

Grasping my quivering hand, can you feel the hate?
Good night to my soul, I put you to sleep before I frighten you with songs of death

Come witness the death of a young star, crippling flares bursting from the retinas. Succumb to her madness. A deformed creature of habit - unintelligent, misguided scoundrel ravenously craving the one she can't have. ***** breathing. Sanguine drippings run down white feet - she tears the rampant emotions out from her skin. Hush! She can hear you...


Wander uselessly through the South. An old acquantance becomes your sole purpose. A waxing!
A wedding. A waning... weeping. Wanderer, you are banished back to the ice.
Learn to obey, or learn to become creative in your rebellion.
Hold your heart just close enough to smell the metallic tang, but not too close or you'll ash on it.
Breathe in little Wanderer, you have so much potantial.
Cut out the poison
Cut out the poison
Cut out the poison

Drench the wounds in Everclear
Burn away your doubts

My eyes can see nothing safe or sound in these days
Take me back to October
Take me back to my old life
I want my little nest with my mate and my young
and my potholders and my clutter
I want to sleep next to something
I want to die

Crying little children, all of you. I am just one more.

What is my image?
How do you see me?

Hippie, Emo, Rocker, Tough, Strange, Metal, Hipster, Child
Am I the words you would use to describe me?

What do you see?
What am I to you?

Am I the clothes I wear?
Am I the color of my eyes?
Am I the music I listen to, or the bands I obsess over?
Am I the games I play?
Am I the knowledge I've retained?
Am I the the breath on your neck, or the softness of my lips?

How am I doing?
Do I live up to your expectations?
When you see me, what have I done to deserve your reaction?
Am I the memories we share?
Am I the photos I take?
Am I my depression?
Am I the change in my appearance?
Am I the eloquence in my step?
Am I who you thought I was when you met me?

What do I smell like?
Are my hands cold, or are your hands warm?

Am I the weight I shed when food is tasteless?
Am I the skin that pales in winter and browns nicely in sun?
Am I the socks I don't wear?
Am I somebody's ex?
Am I alone?
Am I my sexuality?
Am I the colors in my head?

Do you remember why you started to call my name, and stopped yourself?

Am I normal?
Am I out there?
Am I somebody worth your time?

Am I hungry, or is this just a passing phase too?

What visuals do I bring to mind when you think of mewhen I cross your mind?
Do I infect you with curiousity and a taste for the Earth?

Am I beautiful when my acne is red and my makeup smudged?
Am I the sounds I make in my sleep?
Am I the faces I make in the mirror when I'm alone?
Am I the texts I send when I'm too tired to think?
Am I the shape of my silhouette?

What goes through your head at 3 am on a Wednesday?
If you could stand outside of your skin, would you approve of your own visage?

Am I the song I always sing in the shower?
Am I the voice I use when I wake up in the morning?
Am I the space I occupy?
Am I my number of days I have survived?
Am I the days I have left?
Am I my mistakes, or my successes?
Am I the people I have saved?

What stands out more, my flaws or my laughter?

Am I the food I pretend to eat, then throw away?
Am I the short white scars on my arms?
Am I the person I want to be?
Am I the debt I owe?
Am I someone you think about often?
Am I the moment we shared when it was just the two of us?
Am I the secrets I keep?
Am I going to be a mother someday?

If you spent every day with me for a year, would you grow tired of me?
If you could see the world the way I do, would it change you?
If you could sit inside my mind while I think and just observe, would you judge me?

Am I the voice I use to sing when my headphones are so loud I can't hear myself?
Am I the smile I wear when I would rather drive nails through my skin?
Am I the diseases running through my body?
Am I still alive if I don't feel a heartbeat?
Am I my blood type?
Am I the effort I put into life?
Am I meant to be this way?

If I wasn't me, would I die for me?







Am I?
Are you?

RHCP, my stomach aches
i confuse what could be hunger
with weakness.
another long evening
my last smoke
went missing. my hand
shakes
violently.
I haven't slept in days.
I search for something.
Will someone catch the paper I've shredded?
My heart's blood spattered across sheepskin
skin torn asunder
hands clenched under
the table

Stop judging me and staring so critically
stare lovingly into my eyes and notice my effortless elegance

I lie when I say I don't want to be noticed.

Stop describing your terrible ****** encounters
I know you've had other women since I ended things with you
You're acting like you don't have magazines stashed under your bed
What, when I was with you your hand was your secret lover
And now it's not enough?

I'm so cold. I just want the affirmation of another soul's proximity
Is anyone out there?
The spinning feeling increases its tempo
The awful silence crescendos
Bring me back, bring me back
I miss the Saturday night I spent on mushrooms.
Everything was alright in the world
Anonymous carefree the world was ablaze
I convinced myself I was a fire spirit and you were a deer
I'm not addicted: I only tried it once.


All I want is a cigarette and to go back to sleep.
The world will turn without me
Your heart will be cold either way
Why and I vying for your attentions?
I tell myself I'm too antisocial
Until I have asked every single last one of my faceless friends to come get me
I guess it's alright to take some time for yourself
Is this a manifestation of grief or depression?
Is anyone out there?
I prefer the company of strangers to those who I've already become disillusioned with
Will anyone feel my gentle tugging and lend me a hand?
Just a coffee
Just a smoke
Just a walk through the warming days
Spring cleaning
I've successfully ignored your texts for long enough
I think I'll sleep with you
Not because I think that's all I'm good for.

Is it really "being used" if you're aware of it?
Am I not using you as well?
I can't decide if this will turn out well.



To you: Help.

Still running, never ceasing, she screams silently.
the breath escapes as a wisp.
Remembering the past command:
Take the demon carefully,
his sting is heavily laden with sweet
addiction.

*** soaks through the front of her gown
and the bloodied fabrics drain rusty shades
into the tepid moon water
she spilled before.

Break her chains
she will not thank you
she will despise her freedom and lay waste to paradise
with her filthy torn wings.

Let her know of her once-natural beauty
she will hiss in derision
that she is not still stunning as the rose.

BLEED, child.
You of all creatures were fantastic in visage
You have put to waste the precious fragility of your frame
Your yellowing teeth speak volumes
your mouth should stay sealed.

We have no use for ingrate angels
that roll in the muck
cheaply selling ******* and chemical highs.

Splitting the atom
Dancing the pattern
Step through the abyss
Do it like this
Do it like this

Screaming the spectrum
She's burning horizons
With shimmering lips
We do it like this
Do it like this


Swallowing poisons that coagulate in my throat
Don't act like you didn't just come here to gloat
I'll bite the hand that keeps feeding me lies
I'll feed you to the flies
I'm the one you despise
I'll pull out your eyes
And I'll stitch up your lips
AND I'LL DO IT LIKE THIS
DO IT LIKE THIS