i think my main issue wasn't the maybe
it's the fact that there was only a maybe
i've seen your heart race for an hour
for someone you only saw for a minute
sitting next to people through struggle
then holding tears like a juggle
how's the cigarette? how's every laugh?
was it all enough to forget the past?
the answer should have been obvious
but now it's obvious to hit the opposite
put my mind on things for a new lover
this time, be treated like a brother
my catharsis is a thorn on a rose
so now i write to gain back my hope
to distance the repetition of rhyming
you and i were similar in many ways
burning month, nature bound objects
with the sharp piece on the beauty
rose thorn, bee sting, pick your poison
i can't even write about love anymore
because affection shouldn't be forced
and i thought you'd say something else
i hate that your poetry is your compliment
and yeah, i know my shoes look nice
but it makes me feel way less confident
when your attraction to me has a price
i am lured inside of your perfume
not the one you wear, but attention
**** the rhyme again, bees and roses
don't mix and maybe they shouldn't
i wrote this in one sitting to be honest
i used to get ******, now i'm used to it
i wonder how many times your next love
will get to hear the words "i'm sorry."
i don't want to leave, but if it takes
killing a maybe and causing closure
you could have had my love
you don't want it and now it's over
admit it, the maybe was a placeholder
because you'd thought i'd move on
and i'd find someone by november
if i put that much weight on your heart
and it takes tearing myself apart
for you to write a letter with tears
and prologue the tale of fear
then hell maybe i should go
it's not like i didn't risk pain for you
accidental photos, i stayed
a stone foot maybe, i stayed
talking to someone, i stayed
heart racing elsewhere, i stayed
utah trip to think, i waited
people coming and going, i waited
denying other girls, i waited
because of you, i was patient
but that's not the love i need
running to you, but stuck on leash?
how many other people roam free?
minus the playlist and the poetry
i never gave up on you because
i couldn't think about anyone else
now i'm listening to See You Again
but this time, i'm not thinking about you
Friend.
but i will say this as the **** **** flower boy playlist hits my ears and comes out my esophagus for hard edged bliss in boredom and bathed in roses
i will tell you this, i know i matter to you
in the end, you didn't move away
and you tried to cure your pain
and when you couldn't go anywhere
when you needed someone to text
it's 4am and you had a message
you came to me. you came to me.
you came to me. was that a maybe?
no, you came to me during relapsing
that should mean something as i repeat
after i came for you, you came to me.
do you mean to change the maybe?
maybe, when maybe was enough for me.