I've never acknowledged my depression And as soon as I do BOOM It's here I want to die But I dont really I just want to stop hurting And sometimes I just want to feel something And right now it is both My heart hurts and my body feels numb Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up I feel like I'm void Of everything but sadness Like I'm a black hole for happiness I used to be "happy" But now I know it was just a mask Because everything was buried And now it's on the surface And I just want it gone again I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends I want to go back to when nothing phased me I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy I was used to abuse so I was never really me I had created my own alternate reality One without **** and drugs and alcoholism One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism One where I was sad all the time But I was so busy pretending to be "happy" That I didn't notice.
I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.
Reasons are why people leave each other Reasons are why people die Reasons are why people are left behind Reasons are why people fail in life Reasons are why people fail tests Can't go to college Their boyfriend dumps them THEY feel like life doesn't care Reasons are why their friends don't care Reasons they feel hopeless There is always reasons behind everything Reasons for life reasons for death Reasons for Hobbies Just like the Reason I'm writing this Is to try to make a difference in the world
Recycle it pass/or fail ......garage sale Alter or adapt for new use Appreciate it....don't abuse At home or elsewhere Evolving care Reduce the pollution caused by waste When you see the result you'll be amazed
I can my image on the water Of that running creek together With that pretty image of the pretty moon anytime ... Drawing a picture on waters is not Difficult and is not easy ,but You need to be a natural artist ... I can some images of my childhood On that deep well over there ... I can draw a pretty image of my happiness and My sadness on the sea's surface ... I love to draw all images of those Who passed away a long,long time ago ... I can do a lot of things On the water's surface ... ____________________