Life is long
The memories are too much
Sometime in the future
These will be all you have left
This was maybe only the
Second year in my adult life
I remember being happy
Enough to be affected
Before it was just
The sunlight wakes me up at 10 am, but I’m not even thinking about getting out of bed
It’s just seems so distant, impossible to reach
I know I sound dumb but it ain’t easy for me
Something keeps me nailed to this bed
I can’t move my limbs, I’m ashamed of myself
This has to end now, I can’t live this way
I lie to myself like this
Getting out of bed should be easy but it’s not.
I've never acknowledged my depression
And as soon as I do
I want to die
But I dont really
I just want to stop hurting
And sometimes I just want to feel something
And right now it is both
My heart hurts and my body feels numb
Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up
I feel like I'm void
Of everything but sadness
Like I'm a black hole for happiness
I used to be "happy"
But now I know it was just a mask
Because everything was buried
And now it's on the surface
And I just want it gone again
I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends
I want to go back to when nothing phased me
I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy
I was used to abuse so I was never really me
I had created my own alternate reality
One without **** and drugs and alcoholism
One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism
One where I was sad all the time
But I was so busy pretending to be "happy"
That I didn't notice.
I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.
Reasons are why people leave each other
Reasons are why people die
Reasons are why people are left behind
Reasons are why people fail in life
Reasons are why people fail tests
Can't go to college
Their boyfriend dumps them
THEY feel like life doesn't care
Reasons are why their friends don't care
Reasons they feel hopeless
There is always reasons behind everything
Reasons for life reasons for death
Reasons for Hobbies
Just like the Reason I'm writing this
Is to try to make a
difference in the world
Hope this helps ya'll! :)
Alter or adapt for new use
Appreciate it....don't abuse
At home or elsewhere
Reduce the pollution caused by waste
When you see the result you'll be amazed
Except for my fan.
All that I knew,
was sadness back then.
but these days are brighter
and bolder and more lovely,
back then I never would've guessed
I could be this happy.
I only wish I could tell the old me,
that things get better.
If you just wait it out, things will be better tomorrow.
I can my image on the water Of that running creek together With that pretty image of the pretty moon anytime ... Drawing a picture on waters is not Difficult and is not easy ,but You need to be a natural artist ... I can some images of my childhood On that deep well over there ... I can draw a pretty image of my happiness and My sadness on the sea's surface ... I love to draw all images of those Who passed away a long,long time ago ... I can do a lot of things On the water's surface ... ____________________
My heart feels and My mind feels you too Simply because I know You are suffering from Everything around you ... All that is merely a summertime's cloud Crossing ,but slowly ... Everything will be okay You just be patient .
— The End —