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20.1k · Jan 2019
To you
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I write this poem
Because I have a question
A question I have been wanting to ask you
From the day that I met you

We talked and talked
Shared songs
Spoke about jobs
Read poems
Talked about school

We spoke with each other
Through messages
So I never got to know your voice
Your way of talking

You might see where I am going
So I'll ask it directly
Will you meet me
Over a cup of coffee?
5.6k · Jan 2019
Depression is like math
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
Depression is like math
It is like a sinus wave multiplied by x    
Along the x line we can count the amount of depression
Along the y line we can count how much we feel it

In the beginning there is no depression and no pain
Then there is the first top, some pain and some depression
The further we go along the line of depression
The amount of pain varies between feeling and not feeling
And the bigger our depression gets the more we feel
y = x sin(x)
2.8k · Dec 2018
Keep believing
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I try,
I will,
I can,
I Survive.

Life is better,
Life is worse,
Life is unbalanced,
Life survives

And so will I.
Yesterday I went to pick up my stuff from my ex her house. My mind was all over the place. I picked up my stuff and was gone. On the way home is was crying so hard that my tears ran out. Once I was home I got on my bike, drove to a railroad crossing and waited for the train to come. As I was waiting there to jump in front of the train, I kept thinking about her. And the train past by. I just couldn't do it, I couldn't jump. So I drove home and went to my room. There I sat all day and night. Crying and crying until my second batch of tears ran out. As I sat in my room I started talking with a crisis line for suicide, they were shocked to hear the story of my life. It helped to pass time. They asked me some questions. At the end of the conversation we made a planning for the rest of that night, what I could do to make it trough. And so we did and I survived that night.

Today my head was almost there again, me wanting to die all over. I was in my bed, denying to wake up. And once I did, I went down stairs to have a coffee with my parents. We talked about the usual stuff, well actually they did, I was silent for most of the time. After that I went back up to my room. And started studying with my depressed head. It didn't go that well, because all I could think of was her, as she is the one that I love the most. Then I realized that I forgot some things yesterday and she gave me some that wasn't mine. So I texted her. I said that I had somethings of her and she of mine. After that being said, we started talking about yesterday. About me being all over the place. That i was short sentenced and that i left really fast. And from there on out we started talking. I think all I needed to hear from her, was that she still wanted us to be friends. It made me feel good. it made me a little bit more happy then before. Now I know that I can do it, I can survive.
2.5k · Dec 2018
Impossible
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I feel nothing anymore.
It is all gone.
Even the one thing I could, I can not.

I can not stay alive anymore.
So I want to die.
But even that I can not do.

People think it is hard to stay alive.
While it is harder to die.
To die by your own hands.

If only life would be easier.
And we all could be happy.
But life is not a movie.

Life has its horrible moments.
It can be impossible to get trough.
But it is more impossible to get out.
I try to stay alive, I try to die. But both things are impossible to do.
So I think there is nothing else to do, than just wait until one seems possible.
2.2k · Jan 2019
Achievement day
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
Today is achievement day
It is the first day
A, no thinking about you, day
It was a happy day
I will cherish this day
For it is a good day
Today is achievement day
Although I still miss you. I am happy that I didn't think about you today. It means that I am moving on. That I am able to let you go, even with all the pain it causes.
2.0k · Dec 2018
I hate my life
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
As a boy I said to my mom,
"Mom I don’t want to life anymore."
As a boy I was tired of my life,
I just wanted to get out.

As a boy I was bullied,
School was no fun at all.
As a boy I used to have one friend,
He was my only friend.

As a boy my life ******,
So bad I didn’t want to live anymore.
As a boy I grew older,
I became a teenager.

As a teenager I was bullied,
But I could handle it.
As a teenager I had this friend,
He was my only and oldest friend.

As a teenager I found some new friends,
And lost my old one.
As a teenager I fell in love,
But she had to go into some treatment.


As a teenager I fell in love again,
Just to see her dating someone else.
As a teenager I wanted to die again,
I felt miserable even though my life was not that bad at all.

As a teenager I grew older,
And became a student.
As a student I hated my life,
I had to stop studying due to too many fails.

As a student I kept going,
I applied to a new study.
As a student I met this awesome girl,
She did the same study.

As a student I was happy for once,
We started spending time together.
As a student I found love,
It was with that awesome girl.

As a student I had the happiest moment of my life,
She and I got together.
As a student I stopped studying,
The study didn't have my interest after all.

As an adult I was happy,
I had a girlfriend.
As an adult I found work to do,
I was working until I started studying again.


As a student I was happy,
I found the right study and had a girlfriend.
As a student I did something bad,
Is ******* up life once again.

As a student I had the saddest moment of my life,
My girlfriend broke up with me.
As a student I wanted to die,
I hated my life.

As a student I try to keep going,
But I preform bad at my study.
As a student I don’t know how long I can last,
Before I **** myself.

As a person,
I don’t want to live anymore.
As a person,
I hate my life.
one song that I find very relatable, it has me every time I lissen to it. I like the cover from Faith Marie more than the original song, so that is why I added that link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM
2.0k · Dec 2018
Hollowness
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
It is as if there is no life at all
It is as if it is here just to be nothing
It is as if it does just exist to hurt
It is as if it knows your weaknesses

But one day it will be okay
But one day you will see the best of life
But one day it won't hurt anymore
But one day life will give you what you need

Just hold on a little while longer
Just don't give up yet
Just try to keep going
Just flip that page in your book of life

Do I want to keep going?
Do I want to find out what else life has to offer?
Do I want to keep pretending every thing is okay?
Do I want to fake my life?

When life feels this bad
When life makes me feel dead
When life is not great
When life feels so hollow
1.8k · Dec 2018
Its all fake
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I still laugh
I still talk

But that is just my bodywork
Beneath that its empty

My heart broke in a trilion pieces
My loved one told me, she didn't anymore

All I can think of is death
Anything else feels so fake

Life is great they said
Well it ain't
Life is horrible
Why are we all pretending its great?
1.5k · Jan 2019
Burn them down
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I need to put on some new glasses
To take a new and refreshed look on the world
On the reality we live in
Just to get the view of the other side of the world
To shift my view from bad and dark
To good and full of light

I need to burn the bridges down
The bridge between the new and the past
I need to burn the bridges down
Burn them down, burn them down

I need to start afresh, take a refreshed look
walk to the other side
Just to take it in another perspective
The turn the thing upside down
inside out, outside in

I need to burn the bridges down
The bridge between the new and the past
I need to burn the bridges down
Burn them down, burn them down

I need to walk away from the past
Move along the path
To the new future
And not cling to the old past
Which had moved on without me

I need to burn the bridges down
The bridge between the new and the past
I need to burn the bridges down
Burn them down, burn them down

I need to take that turn
Just to get away from the past
To start over, start anew
Keep moving even when it seems to get anywhere else
It might lead to somewhere you don't want to be
But that is the path of life
It takes you even if you don't want to

I need to burn the bridges down
The bridge between the new and the past
I need to burn the bridges down
Burn them down, burn them down
Burn them down, burn them down
Burn them down, burn them down
The bridges between the past of my life
And the here and now
I need to burn them down
Burn them down, burn them down
Burn them down, burn them down
Burn them down, burn them down
1.4k · Jan 2019
A day gone by
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of you
Every day again
Every hour again

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the past
What we did
What we wanted

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the here and now
How much I hate it
How much I resent it

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the future
What it would have looked like
What we would have done

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without my mind being ****** up
Every day again, I torture my self
Every ******* day again, I wish I could travel back in time
1.4k · Dec 2018
This again
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
It has been almost a month
A month since my heart has been broken
Broken in a million pieces
Pieces of me still love you
You where the only one that I could talk to
To you I said everything I want to talk about
About that day I had, but not that one
One day of my life has never been so bad
So bad that it broke me in two
Two people made one, you and I
I will never forget you
You where *are the love of my life
Life we were shearing together
Together we were happy
Happy like that, I'll never be again
Again I hate my life
Life that I resented so much
So much that I wanted to commit suicide
Suicide, was the only thing I could think of, until I met you
You were the one that saved me from death
Death is what I think about again
Again, I am in that ****** place in my head
Head first, I went into that relation
Relations are supposed to last
Last month you broke my heart
My heart will never be the same again
Again I want to die
1.4k · Dec 2018
Life
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
What is life?
How do we know we live?
Why do we live?

Isn't it just one big illusion,
Or a big dream,
Or just a mere fantasy.

Sometimes life feels so empty,
It feels like it doesn't exists,
And yet it does.

Sometimes it feels like on big joke,
It feels like we are being controlled,
Like the Sims people in the Sims.

Sometimes I like to think about how small we are,
And yet are the rulers of the earth,
Although we are destroying it.

Are we really alone in this existence,
Is there no one else out there,
Not even the tiniest piece of life of some sort?

When I think about those things,
I feel so small and vulnerable,
I feel like the real me that I am.

Tiny and small.
It doesn't matter who I am.
As I am one little dot in this entire existence.

Or is it even an existence?
Am I really a live?
Does it really all exist?

Or is it just my fantasy,
Like a drawing of a little kid,
Who draws stones with faces.

Are we really existing?
And if so, why do we?
Who are we?
What are we?
Where are we?

I know who I am, I know what I am, I know where I am.
I am me, I am what I am, I am where I am.
It is what makes me me, humble and small.
1.3k · Jan 2019
Death note
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
The empty void inside of me is growing
The only thing that I do is hoping
That one day my life will pass by
When I do, no one will cry

My life is ****** up from the inside
My life seems perfect and nice from the outside
My life has been turned inside out
I just wish for my heart to be pulled out

What makes it so impossible
What is the point of life if you hate it
What is life if it is far from optimal
I just want to die, just for my throat to be slit

I can't keep living like this
I need to get out of here
I just want to get that death kiss
There is nothing keeping me here

No one likes me the way I am
No one gets a long with me because they like me
No one loves me
All I need to do is, find that **** switch of this program

I am done with life
I can't go on like this
I just need to grab that kitchen knife
I just want my life to burst like a flower dehisces
1.3k · Jan 2019
Coverd in red
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I am sitting there, on my bed,
Watching a couple of episodes,
About a medieval England going to war.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
With a Swiss pocket knife,
Wait for my self to cut again.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
Asking my self why I still do it
Wondering if it became more of a habit.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
The sheets colored red,
And a red river flowing down my arm.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
Asking my self,
Why I still live.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
All alone, without a tear to cry,
Without a person to share the pains with.

I am sitting there, on my bed,
With the knife covered in red,
A deep cut in my arm,
And a sheet stained in red.
1.2k · Dec 2018
Talk
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I woke up because of my alarm.
I woke up in my warm bed.

As I was laying there my door opened.
As I was laying there my mom walked in.

She asked me if I am okay.
She asked me why I was so quite.

How could I tell her that I don't want to live.
How could I do that to her a second time.

She was sitting there next to me on my bed.
She was talking to me there on my bed.

And all I could think about was, how do I tell her.
And all I could do was nothing, because I don't want to hurt her.

And as she was talking to me, my bed started to cool down.
And as she was talking to me, I hoped she would stop talking about this.

Because it was hurting me.
Because it was to painful to talk about.

All I want to be was just to be dead.
All I want to be was just to be happy once more.
She came into my room, to talk with me. she noticed that is was being down a lot lately. She wanted to talk with me, but all I could think of, was the avoid the talking with her. because I don't want to talk about it with her. It will only hurt her even more if she knew what was really going on inside of me. How can I tell her, while I know it will tear her apart.
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
In this milky way galaxy there is a solar system.
In this solar system there is a planet, earth.
On this planet there is a continent,
In this continent there is a country.
In that country is a province,
In that province is a township.
In that township is a town,
In that town is a street,
In that street is a house,
In that house is a room,
In that room sits a person,
In that person is a mind.
That mind is me,
Tiny and small,
And yet it thinks it is the biggest of them all.
Why, why does it think it can have every thing,
While it has never had a great life.
Why does it thinks it knows all,
While there is yet so many things we don't understand, at all.
Why does it keep thinking,
While all it does is, making it self sad and full of pain.
Is there an off switch?
Is there any way to stop it at all?
Is there anything?
Or is it just an empty void?
Me is just to tiny and small,
And yet it thinks it is the biggest of them all.
https://youtu.be/Iy7NzjCmUf0
895 · Dec 2018
What happened, happened
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Yesterday
When I woke up yesterday, I said to my self.
From today on forward it will be a new day.
I don't want to live with this pain any more.
What happened, happened and I can't do anything about it.
So from this day on forward I will just life on my life as it is.

Yesterday
that day was a great day.
I felt more free than I was before.
I could let it all go.
Just because I don't want to drag it a long anymore.
It was a big relief.

Today
Today I woke up.
And their it was again, that pain.
That killing pain inside my chest, my broken heart.
At that moment I realized, it is not that simple.
You can't just flick your fingers, and just forget it.
No it will take time, it will take pain.
But what happened, happened and I can't do anything about it.
So I will just live on my life as it is.

Today
It will be a great day, because it is the second day.
The second day that I said to myself,
I don't want to live with that pain any more.
It happened, it hurt, it was awful, it was heart breaking.
But I can not let it rule my life,
I can not let it ruin my life,
I can not let her ruin my life.
I will be a free man once again.
But this time a different one.
I will be happy, because,
What happened, happened and I can't do anything about it.
So I will just live on my life as it is.
893 · Dec 2018
Farewell
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Tell everyone,
Or no one.
Tell my parents,
Or tell my brothers and sister.
Tell to all who want to know,
Or don't at all.

I love them,
And I will miss them.
For I don't want to be here anymore,
This I can not bare.

Tell my ex girlfriend,
She was all I ever wanted.
Tell her I love her,
And that I will never forget her.

Tell all of them that I said,
Farewell, please live on without me, because you can what I could not.
Goodbye to everyone that wants to hear that I am leaving this place, for I don't want to be in it anymore.
795 · Jan 2019
It happened again
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
Oops I did it again
That will be another scar
It will bleed
It will hurt
It will be like me

Oops I did it again
Only he can cry
I can't
I try
But I fail

Oops I did it again
I let the river flow out of my arm
I let the bed sheets get stained again
I let my room fill with this dark red fluid
It happened again

Oops I did it again
I let my self go
I just did it
This time is has been more deeper than ever
This will bleed for a while

Oops I did it again
I feel this warm trickle flow down my arm
I am sitting here shirt less
I am getting cold, I have to be
But yet I don't feel it
I don't cry
I don't shiver
I feel nothing
I am nothing
I just need to be gone
I am not human anymore
ThatBrokenOne Feb 2019
It hurts to know
It hurts to see

That you have replaced me
That you have past me

I am happy for you, that you moved on
I am happy for you, that you have found someone new

I told my brother
I told my sister in law

That I am not well
That I am suicidal at times

It was a relieve to tell
It was painful to see

Silence fell when I told
His eyes turned into water when I told

A river of tears was streaming down
But it didn't weight him down

To tell me, to let me know, he is there for me
He loves me, he will be here with me

I am grateful that he is here
He wants me to be here

Time is all I needed I said
Time is the hardest thing to let pass by

I told myself I can do this
I told them I can do this

So I will do this, I will see it through
So I can do this, just because I said so
723 · Dec 2018
Tonight
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
It has been four weeks now
It has been heart breaking
It has been painfull
It has been overwhelming

But above all it made me realise how much I really love you
685 · Jan 2019
Friday
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
When will it be Friday
So no one will ask why I drink beer

When will it be Friday
So I don't have to think about school

Please let it be Friday
Because I want to be free
685 · Mar 2019
Like clouds in the sky
ThatBrokenOne Mar 2019
Dreaming away, like clouds moving along the sky
Listening to music, to be carried away
Along the sky, like clouds moving by

In a state of happiness, floating around
Drifting away in a higher state of mind
To be carried away, instead of staying on the ground

It gives a certain feeling, a state of happiness
Look at the sky, being able to let it pass by
I wish that it lasted, for it to be endless

Feeling this way, is like floating through paradise
getting away, from the earthly pain
To be taken by the clouds and glide along the blue-skies
658 · Dec 2018
Day
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Day
A new day starts.
The sun comes up,
I wake up.
The sun travels further,
I travel further.
The sun reached its top,
I reached my top.
The sun goes down,
I go down.
The sun has set,
I have set.
The moon rises,
As do I.
The moon travels,
As do I.
The moon reached the top,
As did I.
The moon has set,
As did I.
And an other day has been lived.
652 · Jan 2019
Dreams
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I had a dream
A dream about you
You and I were back together
Together we were happy

Then something happend, I didn't want to
To stay happy, I should have stayed in that dream
That dream was about us being together
Together everything was fine

I wish I didn't wake up
Waking up is what made me depressed again
Again I want to stay in bed
In bed I want to be all day

Please let me go
Let me go while I can
I can be gone
Gone I want to be

Next time I don't want to wake up
Waking up doesn't make me happy
Happy I'll never be again
Again I hate my life for waking up
622 · Jan 2019
In those moments
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
It feels like rainbow and sun shine
Like a pup feels when surrounded by other pups
Like a kitten feels when following that red dot on the floor
Like a rabbit feels being above the ground for the first time
Like a bird feels when flying for the first time
Like a cow feels when going outside for the first time of the year
Like a person feels when being surrounded by friends

It is in those moments when they are not
Surrounded by other pups
Following that red dot
Being above the ground
Flying
Going outside
Surrounded by friends
They feel alone and down
Depressed and sad
602 · Feb 2019
Am I okay?
ThatBrokenOne Feb 2019
No I am not
But I live
So I will be in time
599 · Jan 2019
I am a fine lie
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
When people ask me how it is going
I'll tell them I am fine

When people ask me what I want to do
I'll tell them I am fine

When people ask me where to go
I'll tell them I am fine

When people ask me what to do
I'll tell them I am fine

When people ask me what I like
I'll tell them I am fine

When people ask witch way to go
I'll tell them I am fine

I'll tell them I am fine
I'll tell them I am a lie
I'll tell them life is a lie
I'll tell them there is nothing to live for
I'll tell them it's all a lie

I'll tell them I am fine
I'll tell them I am lie
I'll tell them I am fine
I'll tell them I am lie
I'll tell them I am fine
I'll tell them I am lie
I'll tell them I am a fine lie
537 · Jan 2019
Casing
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
An episode is playing
On the tv screen
At the end of my bed.
I am looking
But not watching.
I am hearing
But not listening.

Down my arm is a little red stream
It feels warm and soft.
Is this what the inside of a body is suposed to feels like
Mine feels cold and hard
Icey and cracked.

It is red and cracked
But it doesn't hurt.
That crack is crying instead of me
Tears of red colour are running down my arm.
It burns when I touch it
But it doesn't hurt.

Where did my feelings go
Where did my love go
Where did my live go
Where did my life go

I am just an empty casing
Full of blood
Without feelings
Without love
I am just an empty casing
533 · Jan 2019
Broken
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
When I first met you, I saw this broken girl.
A girl who was in need of someone, someone that would be there for you.
You had been through so much pain and trouble.
Pain and trouble that broke you from the inside.
Inside was a suicidal girl, hurt and broken.

I was there for you just as a friend,
I lent you my ear, so you could speak,
I gave you all my attention,
I gave you all of my time, even more than I had.

You where broken and needed someone to talk to.
To me you spoke about all of your pains.
Pains that made you feel left and miserable.

You never saw me as a friend,
You saw me and was instantly in love,
You wanted me,
You claimed me.

Words spoken by you cause me pain.
Pain in my ears because of your past.
Your past hasn't been easy.
Easy wouldn't have described our lives.
Lives that where full of pain from the past.

You said that I was the one, keeping you a live,
You said that you needed me,
You said that you could open your heart to me,
You said that you where able to speak with me.

And here I am, broken from the inside.
Inside of me is pain and it hurts a lot.
A lot of thoughts of us, are triggered by daily things.
Things we did together, things you liked.

I am broken,
I am hurt,
I am suicidal,
I am feeling left a lone,
I am in need of your help,
I am in need of your love,
I am in need of you.

Inside of me is a suicidal boy, hurt and broken.
Pain and trouble caused by you broke me from the inside.
I have been through so much pain and trouble.
A boy who is in need of someone, someone like I have been.
When you left me, I became this broken boy.
A conversion of the first paragraph to the last one, A transportation of her needs to me. I gave her all she needed, and yet I am the one that is broken.

When I first met you, I saw this broken girl.
A girl who was in need of someone, someone that would be there for you.
You had been through so much pain and trouble.
Pain and trouble that broke you from the inside.
Inside was a suicidal girl, hurt and broken.

Inside of me is a suicidal boy, hurt and broken.
Pain and trouble caused by you broke me from the inside.
I have been through so much pain and trouble.
A boy who is in need of someone, someone like I have been.
When you left me, I became this broken boy.
524 · Mar 2019
The meaning of words
ThatBrokenOne Mar 2019
The words we speak to each other,
hold the energy we give.
The words we speak to one and other,
are balanced with hate and love.

Once the energy is out of control,
We hate or love someone more.
Once the balance is a little of,
words get a certain meaning.

Words don't say all,
It is the silence filled with energy.
Words don't say all,
It is the actions in between.
512 · Dec 2018
2nd Christmas day
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
It was 2nd Christmas day,
I woke up and knew, it is that day.
The day we were supposed to be with your family,
Instead, we were both with our own family.
It wasn't supposed to be like this,
And I hate how it is.
How we don't speak anymore,
For I see you as something more.
Then how you see me,
I hate this new me.
I hate the fact of being alone in those days,
And seeing every one around me having a great day.
It hurts to be a lone,
It makes my heart turn in to stone.
We were one,
Now we both have none.

Every one says merry Christmas,
But all I feel is sickness.
I am not who I was,
And life just won't pause.
It goes on with or with out me,
I have to become this new me.
For I will have to move on,
Because life is like a marathon.
move on or quit,
It is either, make or lose it.
There is no road in between,
At least, there is non that I have seen.
In the Netherlands we have two Christmas days. so that's why there is a 2nd Christmas day
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
In those moments when I am alone
I want to leave
I want to go
I want to disappear
I want to be gone

In those moments when I feel the pain the most
I want to be here any more
I want to fly away
I want to take the one ticket train
I want to bungee jump with a broken cord

In those moments when I feel left
I want to be in a space ship without oxygen
I want to be examining a volcano without a heat suit
I want to be testing multiple new drugs without knowing the multiplied effects
I want to be driving a speeding car without brakes

In those moments when I drowning in memories
I want to be on that hit list
I want to fall from the stairs
I want to be in that gone wrong armed robbery
I want to be in front of that drunk driver

Faith please hear me
If someone has to die by accident
Please let it be me
For I am done with this pain
Done with this broken world
Done with my life
Done with everything
498 · Jan 2019
The path
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
We walk
We march
We fight
A way to the path of life

We eat
We sleep
We repeat
A way to survive

We speak
We say
We talk
A way to process

We sleep
We speak
We walk
The path of life to process how we survive
485 · Aug 2019
After time
ThatBrokenOne Aug 2019
Its been days,
Weeks, Months.
The pain is in the past,
Wrote about it more then once.

All that happened,
It broke, It shifted, me.
I've learned a lot,
With a new vision I see.

She came from the outside,
Found a way, reached into my heart.
She decided to stay,
Reconstructing me after I fell apart.

I am feeling happy,
After all the sadness.
One thing I have learned,
Falling in love is madness.
464 · Dec 2018
How to tell
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Once, years ago, I had this friend.

But there were some things in her life,
She didn't want me to know,
Some thing about her life.
She did let me peek tho,
A little peek through the window.
Just enough for me to understand.
To understand why she had to go.

She was a good friend.

I don't really remember,
If she called me last year.
My mind is sometimes like a blender,
It messes up every memory; that is clear.

Was I a good friend?

My mind has been thinking,
About her and that "call".
Will it be okay for me to be texting,
Texting her, so long after that call.
Asking her to see if she wants to meet?

I don't think I was that good, at being a friend,
So is it okay for me to ask.
To ask her if she wants to have a drink,
With an old "friend".
455 · Jan 2019
Nightmare vs dreams
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I had a dream
Well I should say nightmare
It was about us being back together
Like nothing happened

Then I woke up
Laying there in my bed under the sheets
Comfortable and warm
But yet it felt like I was falling
Down and down, into this empty void
When I dreamt, it was a dream
But when I woke up
I knew it was not a dream
It was a nightmare
I am back in reality
I wish I could dream for ever
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I want what you have, you want what I have
And the only thing we see in each others life
Are the good moments
The things, I think you like the most

But the opposite is true
We only see things we like ourselves the most
What we like about the other persons life the most
Are not the things they like the most

We should listen more
watch more
Feel more
Care more
Just to know someone else
And not only think about ourselves
433 · Jan 2019
Switched off
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
I have feeling, I know I must have
But they are not here, not that I know of
I don't feel anything, I must be dead inside
Or they are just turned off, shipped to the other side

I don't know where to look for them
The must have left me, I don't hear the anthem
Am I going deaf
Or did I breath my last breath

Where to go
Where to look
Without guiding
Without a path to walk

It's dark inside
It's dark outside
I must have set my feeling aside
To live or to die, is what I must decide
426 · Nov 2019
Look arround
ThatBrokenOne Nov 2019
Look arround
Look at the things you see everyday
The gras, the trees
At all the falling leafs

Life is pretty arround
Life is pretty inside
Forget the pain
Don't let your life be in vain

Look around
Look inside
Look at the falling leafs
Look at the glowing trees

After pain comes love
After death comes life
All around are fallin leafs
To become anew flourishing trees

Keep your head up
Keep your heart open
Love is near
There is nothing you have to fear
400 · Dec 2018
Times
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Sometimes I have this feeling,
This feel that if I wake up tomorrow you will be there,
Right next to me.

Sometimes I have this feeling,
That you are still mine,
Even after all this time.

Sometimes I have this feeling,
That I miss you, that I need you.
And it is not just a feeling, because I do.
400 · Dec 2018
You
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
You
Do you remember that one day?
One day we were happy together.
Together we where a lot.
A lot of love I had for you.
You were next to me when I looked in the reflection of the window.
The window of your room.


You were mine for a long time.
Time did not exist when I was around you.
You was all what I needed.
Needed to stay alive.
Alive I don't feel so much anymore.
Anymore minutes without you will **** me.
Me still loves you.
You is all I need.
395 · Jan 2019
Friends
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
You said you still wanted to be friends,
Yet you don't talk.
You said you still wanted to be friends,
Yet you don't say a word.
You said you still wanted to be friends,
Yet I don't hear from you.

When I text you,
You say words back.
When I text you,
You answer them.
When I text you,
I hear from you.
You said you still wanted to be friends.

Yet I don't know what you do.
Yet I don't know where you go.
Yet I don't know who you are.
Yet I don't know you.
You said you still wanted to be friends.

I wonder how you do.
I wonder what you do.
I wonder where you go.
I wonder if you want to speak to me.
I wonder if you lied to me.
You said you still wanted to be friends.

But I don't hear from you,
You don't speak to me,
You don't text me,
You don't call me,
You don't say a word.
And yet you said you still wanted to be friends.
When I broke up with my girlfriend she said she wanted for us to still be friends. But she only replies to texts that I sent her, and I text here only when necessary. But she doesn't text me. So I think that I would have to think that it is her loss and not mine.
384 · Dec 2018
Getting there?
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
Will I ever get there again
That place where I am able to love
For my heart is broken

I was in love be for you
I was in love with you
I don't know if I can after you

It has been six week now
But you are every day in my head
You are there with me, and yet you are not

It hurts to think about the past
It hurts to think about the present
It is unclear if it hurts to think about the future
380 · Jan 2019
We are
ThatBrokenOne Jan 2019
We write
We speak
We put words on paper
We say the things we want to

We think
We image
We memorise wat we think
We imagine what we want

We act
We react
We do what we think is best
We react to what others think is best

We are
We are to be
We are who we want to be
We are not always as we want to

We need
We give
We rely on other people
We give other people a pice of our mind

We say
We are
We say to be the person we want to
We are the person we say we are; in between the lines
We are not always the person we say we are. We are not always the person we write down. Because what we write down is just one perspective of our lives. We are what we don't say, we are what we say in between the lines
365 · Dec 2018
Just do it
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I texted my old friend,
To see if she wanted to meet.
She was happy to hear from me,
And she did want to meet.
So sometimes you need to scrape your courage together,
And just do it.
365 · Dec 2018
A few words
ThatBrokenOne Dec 2018
I do it every time at the same time.
I do it every same day in every week of the year.
I do the same things every time I work.

But today, something was different.
Today was not my normal day of work.
Though today was still a great day.

A regular customer looked at me.
A regular customer recognized me.
A regular customer spoke to me.

And she said:
"I haven't seen you in a long time,
It is nice to see a familiar face around."

And I felt appreciated,
And I felt acknowledged,
And I felt great.

It is amazing how much some little words can mean to a person.
It is important to cherish those little moments.
It is something that we need to do more often.

Just say some little words to someone,
Even if they don't mean anything to you,
It can do a lot for someone else.
364 · Nov 2019
The sound of joy
ThatBrokenOne Nov 2019
the sound of foot steps
echoing through the air arround
the sound of laughter
bouncing through the sky

walking mile after mile
following the smell of food
Flying through the sky
chasing the sound of joy

closing your eyes
dreaming away
opening your eyes
dreaming the day
ThatBrokenOne Jun 2019
If you need me,
You know where I'll be.
If you seek me,
I live near the sea.

Once I see you,
You tell what you go through.
Once I put that smile on you,
You know what you have to do.

All it needs,
Is to get some feet.
All it wants,
Is to let go of the taunts.

Just walk away,
But beware not to get astray.
Just follow the lead,
But beware not to get deceived.

Life on, a happy life,
C'mon and give me a high five.
Life is tough,
C'mon let us give life the rough.
C'mon let us make life lives rough.

Gather all our pain,
Tie it all together.
Gather all our stains,
Let it all shatter.

We will make it through,
We know how to.
This, we can do,
This, we want to.
ThatBrokenOne Jun 2019
We will share what we have,
Not for ourselves, not to feel good
But for you, to get better.

Take some love, and get better,
Not to just get better, not to be wasted
But to blossom again.

Take a hug, and move on,
Not to forget, not to life in pain
But to move on and have peace.

Take my hand, and squeeze it,
Not to hurt me, not to break me
But to share your pain.

Take my voice, and yell with it,
Not to silence me, not to deafen me
But to let the world know you will overcome your pain.

Take my food, and eat it,
Not to starve me, not to anger me
But to feed your love, your love for this world and all of its beautiness.
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