"roadblocks" poems
Really? Well, don’t be, because it doesn’t help to be sorry. Sorry doesn’t change it. Sorry doesn’t make it go away. Sorry doesn’t “undo” what’s already been done. Sorry doesn’t erase my memory. Sorry doesn’t take away the searing pain in my chest. Sorry ***** I don't want your pity or to hear that no child should ever have to endure what I did. Because **** happens. It happened to me …it happens to millions of other kids. Shoulda…woulda…coulda…
You’re right – I do have so much going for me. I have an education, a career, financial security – the beautiful house w/the picket fence, the 2 kids and the dogs. And it’s all a huge sham! You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl. And that’s what I’m to be commended for??? That doesn’t make me special. I should be commended because I have an education? Things could sure be a lot worse, huh? I could be a crack ***** living on the street with 10 kids in foster care, unable to afford therapy even if I wanted to go. I could be like “them”.
Wow! I’m so awesome. Yay for me! Kudos to the smart chick that spent years being molested by her father and ACTUALLY made something of her life. It’s a miracle!
It’s all such a sham – a dog and pony show. Smoke and Mirrors, my dear! Put on a stylish outfit, and paste on a cheerful smile, and everyone thinks you have it all together….. No one would ever know different. You wouldn’t have known. If I’d have kept my big fat mouth shut!!!!! I should have known better….I should have sat down and weighed the risks, possible opportunities, the roadblocks the problems, and definitely a cost analysis of plan A – trying to work through the ******** of the past, B – continue to live in denial, C – **** myself. …. That’s what a smart business woman would have done. And after all, I’m super smart, huh? A real genius!
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM UTC
I feel so torn
I love them a lot
Except I feel like
I can't love them as freely as I want to
Because they remind me of an ex
I want so desperately to let go of
I want to move on with my life
And to love them entirely for them
Without the ripples of her
Skating across my perception
I feel trapped in my mind sometimes
Living through past memories
That only make me feel sadness now
And I wonder if that closure I seek
Can occur if I can forgive myself
For hurting her so much
How can I take responsibility and
Embrace my faults and mistakes
While also forgiving myself for them?
Forgive myself for hurting her?
Especially after realizing that
My emotional unavailability caused it
And I understand that I must remain compassionate
And I must accept the things I cannot change
It's just hard not to shame myself
When the blame fits so perfectly
In the palms of my hands
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 12:19 AM UTC
How did you get here?
Perhaps there was a big bang, and so you were.
Maybe you hit the ground running as fast as your legs could take you.
Was it so that you opened you mouth and words poured out perfectly?
Perchance all that was obtainable was already yours.
My journey was not of such ease.
I was birthed after hours of labor.
For every step I walked I fell six times before.
For months my tears and laughs were my only way of expression.
My parents, as many, knew patience.
Our parents, our teachers, our siblings, even ourselves: we had patience.
We are here because of it.
Now we can marinate our meat for flavor, but we pop diet pills for fast results.
Now we can slow cook our meals, but we abuse drugs to erase our sorrows.
Now we can raise a baby, but we let go of precious relationships too easily.
Now we can be a teacher, but we give up on ourselves.
Patience is putting in the effort for results, even when we don’t see the results for weeks, even months.
Patience is choosing the narrow road, even when the wide one is less lonely.
Patience is taking all the loops, kinks, and bumps as they come; and not giving up after the first couple roadblocks.
Patience is to love unconditionally, even if we have to step back for a little while.
Patience is all rage; we all need more of it.
We are all patients for patience, but we get too sick of waiting.
Our doctor was there, our remedy too, but a cheap high walked past and we chased it.
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 12:57 AM UTC
platonic years insurrected by civil wars (again)
one girl hit by lightning (again)
x-rays of her broken limbs painted from memory
caught between flintlock and fossil
with a just-sleepy-enough, narcotic feeling
his ghost in the sock drawer
his odd fingerprints on her luggage
the wilt of flowered books
full of wide-eyed selfies
and running scared old love letters
(or were they death threats?)
all roadblocks to her star-shaped chemical world
until her coup d'état falls helplessly into the sea (again)
Sep 18, 2023
Sep 18, 2023 at 7:52 AM UTC
The Second Book
Forms of Pain
Losing yourself to distress,
Forgetting your own birthday,
Unrequited love,
The beauty of your rival,
Plans on a rainy day,
Vinegar on wounded skin,
Saying ‘goodbye’ again,
Roadblocks with no detour
©Copyright 2014 Written and Edited by Racquel Davis
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:16 PM UTC
Every day is the same.
Wake up late. Procrastinate.
Rush to get ready, board a bus.
Go to school. And wait.
I’ve never understood
Why people are so heartless.
People swearing and shouting and arguing at each other.
I just walk down the halls, trying to block out all the sound.
People ask me questions a lot.
“Why don’t you talk? Can you even speak?”
Yes I can, but it’s not like I don’t want to talk.
I can’t, because there’s no point in it.
You don’t know what it’s like to hate your own voice.
To feel like you won’t be understood
‘Cause your voice is too soft and deep and quiet
And you have a stupid lisp that impedes with everything.
You don’t know what it’s like to have people talk about you.
“He only talks to one person,” they say.
It makes me feel like ****
But nobody cares how I feel.
Every day is the same.
I try my best to hide my feelings.
But sometimes things slip out
When I don’t want them to.
I cried once in class.
Put my head down on the desk.
After I was called a name by someone.
After no one would let me sit down on the bus.
I’m exhausted all the time.
I don’t want to do anything.
I just want to sleep all day.
It’s not like I’ll do anything else with my time.
I want to connect with people.
Even if I don’t understand them.
But it’s so difficult
When you face roadblocks every day.
Every day is the same.
My mind races with thoughts
“You’re going to ***** up. You’re an idiot. A loser.”
“A worthless waste of space in this world.”
“Don’t answer that question, he won’t hear you.”
They tell me to speak up, but I can’t.
It’s like something’s constricting me.
It’s the anxiety, and all those stupid thoughts.
I’m not happy anymore. I forgot the last time I was.
Can’t do anything anymore. The spark I had is gone.
It faded away with all my passions and desires.
I don’t see the point in doing anything.
Sometimes I think about the end.
I know nobody would care if I’m gone.
But then again, I can’t do that to her.
Not when all I want is to spend time with my girl.
I wish she was here. I wish we could talk.
One day isn’t enough for everything I want to say.
It’s irritating, frustrating, this distance is killing me.
But I know it’s not her fault, and I’m not mad.
If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be.
If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t be the person she is now.
It’s amazing, how she’s able to survive with those parents of hers.
While I’m just a speck in a vast void of nothingness.
I hate them. I hate them so much.
They call her names, they insult who she is.
She’s just trying to be who she wants to be.
Why would you try and strip that from her?
She’s precious to me, can’t you see?
I tried so hard to get you to understand.
But you ignored it all, you never believed me.
So I’m done trying. There’s no point.
She’s the only one that makes me happy.
When I’m around her, everything just fades away.
My fears, my sorrow, my stupid thoughts.
I wish I could be by her side forever.
I miss her so much.
It’s like my heart is breaking when we’re apart.
I know, somehow, we’ll get through this.
And it will all be worth it.
Someday, I’ll be by your side.
Someday, your lips will touch mine.
I know one day, we’ll finally be together.
And we’ll never be apart from that point on.
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 10:27 PM UTC
Her hair has been shorn
Her face cut and bruised
Her flowing gown torn
The beauty once in her eyes
Faded
Drone strikes
Warrant less searches
Roadblocks and pat downs
Eaves dropping
Secret eyes and ears
Always listening
Always watching
Be careful what you do
Or they may come after you
Swat teams and armored cars
Men clad in black
Weapons at the ready
Waiting to attack
They have her now
Imprisoned
Cold shackles hold her hands
Her breath is low and shallow
Seems that death
Is now at hand
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 12:58 PM UTC
Traffic jams in my mind
I can't seem to get away
Rush hour is every hour
It feels like this everyday
The green light won't turn red
Crashes, roadblocks, so afraid
Of those demon drivers in my head
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
I grew up in a family
Where there was more
questions than outcomes.
The pain numbing me
for a change to come
Learning from the gist of things.
I still feel from all my learning
I am not the brightest but far from dumb
I am not going to fail my son
Trials in traveling
I am facing everything
I am in need to become.
They pray and they plot
My soul will not rot
I am going to the top
Sit back and watch.
Get in the way. Get dropped.
Albums coming in stock.
Stories will hit the block.
Don't test me. I lost a lot.
None of it's fake it's no mirage.
Mirror me back, and blend in
without camouflage
I go hard as Smith
You will get Rocked.
I will steal my own life
before you take all I got
Nah I never stop.
Never feared any op
You over here looking lost.
Fools think I'm soft.
You just full of talk
You wanna go with me?
We gonna run through roadblocks.
You ain't ready to walk
Don't make yourself a mark.
I'm silent as the dark.
Quarrels with my absent counterpart.
Obliterate. I am shattering
your mind from a far.
I burn with the shine of a star.
I got the key for you
if you lacking the heart.
Reminder to my child
make the moves that are smart!
Real talk.
Jul 27, 2022
Jul 27, 2022 at 4:38 AM UTC
Free falling; gone in an instant-- blink of an eyelash faster than lightning, flashing like brilliance
Drilling holes into the psyche
Astronomical; impeccable aim
Breathtaking colors with patterns like kaleidoscopes the creativity blows the mind
It's the morphine you can take without overdosing in pain and numbness
It's the chase you can't escape if you wanted to but you won't even try
It's the height of ecstasy and the awe of gratification
Its pure and magnetizing invigoration
When you prove what you set out to prove
When you give it all, you have everything to lose
The negative chatter fills the gaps of endurance and credence
The silence of the aftermath, leaves a clear distinctive taste
All the critics and the villains siphon air so you lose the ability to breathe
There is a glimmer, a tiny microorganism still standing on two feet pushing forward
Moving slow
Falling sideways
All, all alone
Glowing, fueling, bursting...flooding roadblocks, causing traffic
All the commotion is seeding havoc
Like an artist left unknown...you will grow
Flow and flower into a masterpiece
And the free fall secures you high amongst the nebula
There is no more spiraling downwards there is only a tiger lurking, always ready to pounce
On their victims, on the goals you've set ahead
Like a real winner always does, you finish first
because you did your very best
You're a tiger and you just earned you your stripes
So leave the amateurs on their soap box discombobulated
You're resilient, even savvy
You're a vision to be reckoned with
Sep 1, 2013
Sep 1, 2013 at 3:07 AM UTC
Define myself
I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path
How many disappointments I’ve faced
How long a relationship lasted
How many times I’ve been knocked down
Or how many times I’ve messed up
I define myself by
The courage I’ve found to forge new roads
The forgiveness and faith I’ve found in myself to begin again
How much I’ve loved and been willing to love again
How many times I’ve struggled to my feet
How many times I’ve tried to fix things
Who I am has not been made
Just by my pain or my past
But also by my hope and my future.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012 at 10:32 AM UTC
I've been searching for the source of these emotions
Because jealousy and other things
Are typically a result of your own perceptions
And it took me awhile to figure it out
I lost some blood along this unknown path
But then I came upon the answers
Because of something my best friend said
And now it all makes sense
I have always had a problem
With investing too much of myself into love
I begin identifying too strongly with the relationship
And any roadblocks feel as though
My entire universe is crashing before me
And looking at this one here
I've done the exact same thing
When we were first together
I told you I needed to continue working on myself
In order to avoid giving you all of my energy
And as soon as I stopped doing that
I fell into old habits
So it makes sense why I feel entirely crazy these days
Why I can consciously recognize that
You having another partner isn't the end of my world
Because you still love me
And I love you undyingly
Yet I still had overwhelming negative cognitions
That made me feel like dying
And now I realize that
In order to deal with these feelings
I have to focus on me again
Recognize that I need to improve myself
For myself
And then this will get easier
Thankfully it already has
Because I love you so much more
When I'm taking care of myself
Because instead of feeling like I have
No real choice but to stay
It now feels like a beautiful privilege
And it truly is
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 5:58 AM UTC
i am a robot
stuck behind all these roadblocks
what came first?
the road or the blocks
i wish i didn’t give a ****
i wish i understood what it was
riddled with curiosity, plagued with confusion
never understanding the extent of my emotion
i am a robot
i am a token
i was made to be used
made to be broken
Dec 21, 2022
Dec 21, 2022 at 2:13 PM UTC
i apologise,
i'm well aware
it's illegal to use
pictures of people
without their permission,
but your image
wanders through my
fantasies with no
regard for roadblocks
or boundaries, and
frankly, i'm tired
of throwing photographs
away.
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 4:29 AM UTC
Unspoken Wisdom Speaks
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** how to struggle, scrap, and scrape, as well as, tries as he may, in order to provide for his family; in time hopefully, he determines in life this may if not always will be necessary
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that society has a hefty, respect for a winner, yet it has a habit of closing as many doors as possible which limits the Negro’s ability to obtain this elusive and yes lofty goal in life
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that society expects a certain amount of personal initiative yet it attempts to discourage the ***** at every corner by forcing them to focus on the obstacles and roadblocks rather than the strategy necessary to overcome the difficult tasks at hand
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that it is possible to bootstrap your way to success, however, it fails to inform the ***** exactly where the bootstraps are kept
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that the American dream can be accomplished by anyone who truly has a desire to obtain it; however, it fails to inform the ***** that the dream has various levels of reward and some are quite egregious
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that failure is a natural course of life when one seeks to obtain a level of success; however, it failed to tell the ***** that the obstacles for some are not nearly as challenging as it is for others
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that we are offered an entry level position and we should be grateful for this success and if we seek more; then the challenge of being accepted is added to the challenges of preparing for the next level
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that mastering the skills of the next level can be a practice in futility if his behavior doesn’t fit in with what is considered the norm for American Negroes in the eyesight of greater society
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** that obtaining the goal is only a part of the battle; praise from, recognition by, and acceptance of your supposed peers is the next challenge
What has Integration taught the American ***** It taught the ***** to try as he may and he may be granted entry, providing that he has honestly tried as he might (SMILE)
What has Integration taught the American *****
On’ know
Exclusively and Originally Written By Elvan
May 19, 2019
May 19, 2019 at 10:43 AM UTC
What makes me your enemy
is it the colour of my skin
the clothing of my people
or just the country I live in?
You do not even know me
don't know what I believe
but you revel in my childrens death
without leaving me to grieve
You came to liberate us
but you cant call this free
we get stopped and searched at roadblocks
by soldiers for your country
I understand you are scared
citizens of new Rome
but that does not, give you the right
to invade anothers home.
Especially as your reasoning
was a fabric made of lies
is it really any wonder
you're the ones we now despise?
You and I are different,
you have gotten that much right.
You have a democratic system
you can use to stop this fight.
You can call upon your government
citizens of new Rome
to end this forced invasion
and bring your soldiers home.
For although we are quite different
in how we look and how we speak
Neither of us want to die
there's common ground we seek
We share a common wish
for this war to end and cease
So we can raise our children
to live a dream of peace
May 9, 2010
May 9, 2010 at 8:33 AM UTC
#*Sometimes I don’t do
What I like doing most
Held up
Stuck
Oh!! the mind blocks
The blocks
Which could have been building blocks
But instead, they lay there as the roadblocks
Traffic and Jams
No, it’s not the sweet jam
That you savour on a toasted bread
Instead it’s roasting your head
Everything comes to one big
Halt
The
Mind blocks*#
Mar 27, 2019
Mar 27, 2019 at 4:41 PM UTC
I don’t know what you think you’ll find,
Open your eyes but close your mind,
What a waste to taste how it feels,
But not eat anything real,
Everything is so rotten and so stale,
Living in a world of lullabies and fairy tales
Darkness erupts from inside,
The light helps it to hide,
Teardrops can’t be cut by knives,
Just an affirmation of being alive,
You’re so cold and so pale,
Living in a world of nightmares and fairy tales
Always something to think about,
Sinking deeper and no way out,
A requisite that just feels so wrong,
A puppet show and I don’t belong,
I blow the wind and you set sail,
Living a world of fantasy and fairy tales
I see the beauty, I feel the pain,
The cold of the sun, the heat of the rain,
The pound of my words and my words in the thunder,
Is what I have all in my head?
I wander, I wonder, ponder all asunder,
What I’ve said, paths misled,
A dream that I can break and fail and try again,
Or a world of fairy tales and make pretend
Sell me the secret to be stuck like you,
Tell me to forget and stick like glue,
You don’t see but you’re content,
I opened my eyes and I resent,
Knocking holes in roadblocks and opening Pandora’s Box,
Reset the clocks and the safety rails,
Bring back the world that’s a fairy tale
A puppet show and I don’t belong,
I blow the wind and you set the sail,
Living in a world of fantasy and fairy tales
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:44 PM UTC
They're setting up roadblocks,
And throwing down spike strips,
But I have a cargo that's gonna make it through!
Ain't hauling apples, chickens, or farm equipment.
I'm hauling one big honking load
Of energy and innovation.
Smokey's hot on my trail,
And he wants to" barbecue my *** in mollases"
But he ain't gonna stop me,
I'm gonna smash through those barricades.
I'm hauling a special load,
Full of wisdom and knowledge.
Passing car after car, campers and dump trucks,
But none are hauling half the load I got.
Intellectual assets weighing down my trailer,
I blow through the weigh stations.
Can't get anyone on the citizens band,
All I got is static.
So I keep on rolling down this lonesome road,
Hauling this heavy load.
Sep 1, 2012
Sep 1, 2012 at 7:02 PM UTC
Constructing strength through perseverance,
Developing a strong lifestyle dedicated to yourself.
Building success out of enthusiastic purpose,
Progression is on the right path to glory.
Following a route to progress leads to victory,
Battling all roadblocks that stand in the way.
The fighter in you prevails due to determination,
Striving to reach the goal of thriving results.
Dreams can be satisfied by surviving hardships,
Leading to a trail of a peaceful resolutions.
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016 at 10:57 AM UTC
They have tried to conceal our love,
they've thrown up roadblocks, and smokescreens
to keep us from finding each other again,
but yet we always do. Our love has its own radar.
I can sense your heart beating, like an angelic drum
through the haze, and I know you can always hear the love
in my voice, even through the harsh foul static.
Even when you cannot respond, I know you know
my love is always glowing, like a lighthouse in the night.
Guiding you back to my harbor of eternal affection,
where my lips never tire of sounding the horn of our happiness.
I have stumbled for women before, like a blind man descending stairs.
But I never fell, until I tumbled head first into the bottomless pool
of your beauty. The only waters in which I would gladly drown,
have drowned, only to be rescued and resuscitated by your kisses.
Those who do not speak the language of our love, point their antennas our way,
they intercept our transmissions, but their code books are missing the pages
that explain how such emotion can be decoded. They only catch the grand communique,
always missing the short, but ever so loving messages, that come in daily
over the teletype of passion. Feverishly at this very moment, they wrack their brains
wondering at the deeper context of our words, but their is no hidden meaning,
behind the expression of affection. Love is its own context, and if they cannot translate it
then they are the ones at fault, not us. We have our own frequencies, and wavelengths.
Our Love shall always ring out in the darkness, even if we have to switch channels,
It will be there, to comfort us, and relieve the ache of our longing. I already have enough
in this world. Let them have the rest. All I need is our tiny daily broadcast, all I need is...
Our love.
Jun 5, 2012
Jun 5, 2012 at 7:20 AM UTC
It’s amazing how fast you can change
Your feelings, priorities can all re-arrange
The pain that you felt is finally gone
You feel like a king no longer a pawn
The confidence you have allows you to shine
You’re healing yourself with a new state of mind
You can never allow to be brought down again
No matter who tries… a spouse or a friend
The power of attraction is in positive swing
Compliments abounding without doing a thing
That’s how I lived not so long ago
Taking advantage as I continue to grow
I can not be stopped by others who wrong
Justify to yourself as I move along
Cause I have no time for those anymore
Who choose to live behind a closed door
My world is open and I see a new life
One that will prosper no worry or strife
Roadblocks will surely eventually form
I will go up and over or through like a storm
With the strength I feel building deep in my soul
There is no more worry I’m back in control
It’s just for myself the control is for me
That’s all I can do I finally see
Joe Callari
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009 at 6:43 AM UTC
All the roads, footpaths, and roughened trails of my beginnings
Lead me to the map of your heart, that long buried treasure.
I will trace words and phrases along the contours of your lips,
And glide cautiously across the footbridge of your wanting.
You will be stilled by the weight of my breath upon your brow,
And you will know love at a pace that awakens you to your own preciousness.
Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:51 PM UTC
Beggars, I am
asking for clarity
inside our life journeys
from spirits guidance.
Mendicant I am
toward Source taking steps
to feel my inner self.
To release tattered veil of forgetting
so I know who I am.
Beggars, I am toward Sprits guiding voice
trying to grab hold of innocence
to ride waves of love
inside grace.
Beggars, yes Beggars
we all are divine and sacred,
possessing magical sparks within.
And once aligned in heart,
highway opens with no roadblocks.
Just endless possibilities to roam free
in world of grand realities.
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 4:05 PM UTC
I find myself in love with you
You have known it all along, as well
We spent many naked hours together
As you taught me to be confident
Secure, in who I am, in what I do
In who I am with you and what I do to you.
Having dreams of our sexuality, whatever that is
Having dreams of desire
desire for the married, it's no "sin"
Sin is just another three letters man has defined
Defined with a meaning so great it's punishable
Punishable by even death to some
And "die" is just another three letters
Another three we let determine eternity
Why, oh why, do we let the smallest words have the most and longest outcome?
What have we done except create roadblocks
Barriers from our own freedoms
Like all the state lines I'd have to cross
To get to you
To not be here, to not die alone.
There's a three that is quite the opposite
You. Her. Me.
I've never felt something so welcome
Something so perfect
Why it couldn't be, well, that's on me.
But I need you again, Magic Healer
Show me again how to be your lover
To love myself, again, too
Love myself inside you...... Us....
Us Three.
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 2:04 PM UTC