I hide when I should fight,
Fight when I should hide.
I cry when I should smile,
Smile when I should cry.
I retreat when I should attack,
Attack when I should retreat.


I'm lost,
I want to be found.
I'm stuck,
I want to move around.
This goop keeps holding me,
Within this circumference;
In this perimeter;
Hidden beneath shawls.

Life is hard.
You'll never get what you want,
Or wish for,
Or deserve,
All life gives you is lemons-
Lemons and limes.
Life is hard
They’ll check your wrists,
But not your thighs,
They’ll check your smile,
But not your eyes
They’ll avoid the truth,
Believe the lies,
Nothing to sooth,
No reason to cry,
Our smiles are bright,
Eyes are a bit dull,
Wrists are clean despite,
The blade with an emotional pull,
And we’re emotionally unstable,
But they say that’s okay,
We are all a bit of a riddle,
But that’s the only thing we can convey,
And the world will open to swallow us up,
But that’s okay, at least our habits remain,
And when their arms finally open up,
We will show them the reflection they taught us to shame,
So we paint a smile with the color of red,
From the thighs they didn’t check,
And from our eyes we bled.
And they'll only understand,
When the noose hold us by our necks,
And if they had thought twice,

Maybe our eyes they would have checked.
I’d get on my knees and beg
And I’d tell you how much I love
And need you
And how I never thought I’d ever
Love and need anyone like this before
If I knew it was worth a shot
If I knew it’d make you sway
I’d beg  
If I knew you’d stay

M•(e). Díaz
I don’t know if I’m just a coward, or if I’m being mindful, and much rather you be ok. I don’t know anymore. Maybe both.
Wisdom and knowledge are there
Just reach out and grab it
Never stop learning
Continue to make yourself legit
Have a sharp mind
And lift yourself up
Climb those mountains
Reach for the top
Not ev-ree-wún can put words down
In stanzas and lines
And make them rhyme.

Not ev-ree-wún will pour out
Their hearts on a page
To clear out the rage.

Not ev-ree-wún wants to write
When they are in pain
Depressed or afraid.

Not ev-ree-wún can be honest
With themselves
And write about how they feel
About something or someone else​
Or even themselves.

Not ev-ree-wún can be creative
Not ev-ree-wún can tell the truth
Not ev-ree-wún can be a pow-it.
Thank you for reading

I wish I could fade,
lay back,
close my eyes,

and fade...

through the continuum,
to a desolate place,
where peace reigns majesty,
and birds sing me awake,
as dawn paints the starry sky,
over a silver mountain lake,
clear as a mirror.

Stone monoliths rise to peak,
feet on moss and grass
make electric natural connection,
the smell of fresh air
and the scents of the flowers,
isolation tastes like honey,
sweet as a dream.

I wish I could fade,
lay back,
close my eyes,

and fade

never to return.

© Pagan Paul (01/09/18)
Its just a poem !
My heart was your home,
Until I threw you out.
Thank you for reading.
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