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"impassioned" poems
Basketball stands for war or battle. That's why I think about the players' personalities, in my foxhole or squad. Danny and Ben are fast and smart. Dan especially can pass making him master and commander. To defeat them as we did is pst satisfying. Ben's five year old son disdains to answer my question Why are you you? But I'm not here to catalogue the men's personalities. I like them. But each of us has moved on many times, when ___________ suddenly died the games went on with hardly a mention and his name has since been forgotten. But even this, absolute mortality of not just our bodies but our names and souls is not what I came to talk about. Yesterday, between games, I asked Joe how Molly his daughter likes the high school. He mounted an impassioned defense of reading as the indispensable skill when I suggested math, the scientific method and history are essential too. Also between games Bob diffidently asked why my kids are bald. I was moved by the care he took to satisfy his curiosity, concerned the subject might be difficult. He's a political science teacher so I took the opportunity to ask What ails the republic? Of course I answered myself wanting mostly to hear myself talk about Iraq and how empire is self-correcting. For once I was amusing I thought, treating the subject with a light touch heretofore lacking. But none of this is what I came to say. A new guy, long quick and strong, a bulldozer under the boards with a good outside shot if needed got into a dispute with the other Bob who likes to tell people what to do sometimes, about an offensive foul Bob called which we almost never do. The new guy said If you can't take it don't play under the boards which is what I say when I'm ****** and don't give a **** Bob said You've been pushing and shoving me all day. I said He doesn't want to be pushed and shoved which got a wry smile out of Danny as I put the ball in play.
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Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 8:59 AM UTC
At Basketball
Basketball stands for war or battle. That's why I think about the players' personalities, in my foxhole or squad. Danny and Ben are fast and smart. Dan especially can pass making him master and commander. To defeat them as we did is pst satisfying. Ben's five year old son disdains to answer my question Why are you you? But I'm not here to catalogue the men's personalities. I like them. But each of us has moved on many times, when ___________ suddenly died the games went on with hardly a mention and his name has since been forgotten. But even this, absolute mortality of not just our bodies but our names and souls is not what I came to talk about. Yesterday, between games, I asked Joe how Molly his daughter likes the high school. He mounted an impassioned defense of reading as the indispensable skill when I suggested math, the scientific method and history are essential too. Also between games Bob diffidently asked why my kids are bald. I was moved by the care he took to satisfy his curiosity, concerned the subject might be difficult. He's a political science teacher so I took the opportunity to ask What ails the republic? Of course I answered myself wanting mostly to hear myself talk about Iraq and how empire is self-correcting. For once I was amusing I thought, treating the subject with a light touch heretofore lacking. But none of this is what I came to say. A new guy, long quick and strong, a bulldozer under the boards with a good outside shot if needed got into a dispute with the other Bob who likes to tell people what to do sometimes, about an offensive foul Bob called which we almost never do. The new guy said If you can't take it don't play under the boards which is what I say when I'm ****** and don't give a **** Bob said You've been pushing and shoving me all day. I said He doesn't want to be pushed and shoved which got a wry smile out of Danny as I put the ball in play.
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Umm, the presence and scent of a man Magnetic attraction where his feet stands His natural body charismatic aroma Element of charms, seeping to awaken a woman out a sensual coma Is it his eyes, the soul behind his life’s mysteries Flirtation in his smile, tells me he has an undercover ****** history It is his nose that smells out my charms An enticing deep baritone voice, his spoken words, which turns me on Is it the erratic heartbeat he has for a woman, his passionate relent Stealing my breath, as he tenderly seals my lips in an impassioned moment of content The strength in his biceps His triceps Strong, yet such comforting arms An epitome of steel, circled around a woman in winter life’s storms In the cold of night, his body providing your heated warmth His chest, a hard pillow to tell your doubts, your uncertainties, your fears Pulling you closer onto it, his reassuring words eradicating your tears His intellectual mind to think as a man A stimulating, slam bam and thank you ma’am, or your personal grand slam His weakening love, taking your body beyond the stars Woman from Venus, my handsome Man for Mars His groin, and his family jewels from which it springs forth Erected compass of his wand now pointing North A woman’s reservation to tease, please, stroke, or allow it to choke His loud murmurs shadowing your moans, echoing in the wind **** I love the presence of men, and his undulated carnal sins From the first taste of honey dipped Butter *** me As his giving oral fixation is traveling free Freeing the elixir of juices that deems to flee His hairy legs as he stands to lift my weight In the shower, no wait, as I anticipate Hooking my twerking bait His physique in general…Oh, God thank you Without the scent of a man, we women would not know what to do Your presence to a woman is our earthly food Our je ne sais quoi for our every ****** mood Rather you are standing, lying still, or upside down The blissful 69 number conquered as we’re fooling around My Dream Weaver My distance heartbeat receiver His dripping sweat Droplets to my skin have been met The presence and scent of a man holds me throughout the night as our eyes finally rest
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Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 10:00 AM UTC
The Scent Of A Man
Umm, the presence and scent of a man Magnetic attraction where his feet stands His natural body charismatic aroma Element of charms, seeping to awaken a woman out a sensual coma Is it his eyes, the soul behind his life’s mysteries Flirtation in his smile, tells me he has an undercover ****** history It is his nose that smells out my charms An enticing deep baritone voice, his spoken words, which turns me on Is it the erratic heartbeat he has for a woman, his passionate relent Stealing my breath, as he tenderly seals my lips in an impassioned moment of content The strength in his biceps His triceps Strong, yet such comforting arms An epitome of steel, circled around a woman in winter life’s storms In the cold of night, his body providing your heated warmth His chest, a hard pillow to tell your doubts, your uncertainties, your fears Pulling you closer onto it, his reassuring words eradicating your tears His intellectual mind to think as a man A stimulating, slam bam and thank you ma’am, or your personal grand slam His weakening love, taking your body beyond the stars Woman from Venus, my handsome Man for Mars His groin, and his family jewels from which it springs forth Erected compass of his wand now pointing North A woman’s reservation to tease, please, stroke, or allow it to choke His loud murmurs shadowing your moans, echoing in the wind **** I love the presence of men, and his undulated carnal sins From the first taste of honey dipped Butter *** me As his giving oral fixation is traveling free Freeing the elixir of juices that deems to flee His hairy legs as he stands to lift my weight In the shower, no wait, as I anticipate Hooking my twerking bait His physique in general…Oh, God thank you Without the scent of a man, we women would not know what to do Your presence to a woman is our earthly food Our je ne sais quoi for our every ****** mood Rather you are standing, lying still, or upside down The blissful 69 number conquered as we’re fooling around My Dream Weaver My distance heartbeat receiver His dripping sweat Droplets to my skin have been met The presence and scent of a man holds me throughout the night as our eyes finally rest
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☾ *I wish I were the Moon Bequeathing an enchanting night A mystical celestial sphere Bewitching lover’s hearts A practical magic spell C a s t In a lonely hollow shell       An ardent musical echo ― Released in an irrepressible Impassioned moan A twilight sigh escaping in untamed Blissful breath A Sky without Moonbeams Is like a world without song It takes a certain darkness To heed a Sky full of Stars alone I wish I were Moonstruck A fate I crave to behold Waxing and Waning Rising ― Changing A distant ocean’s ebbing tide A captivating enchantment In the twilight beauty Of your eyes Dreaming of drowning Deep within Their deepest water’s Wild I don't want to wake up     and become ― More fading Barefoot traces left behind On some faded memory's Deserted shore Right now is all There ever is ― and I wish I were The Moon tonight* Jesse Stillwater ... May  2018
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May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 3:28 PM UTC
... I Wish I Were the Moon
Drifting back to the ocean like it never even happened unraveled dreams washed clean crystalline renaissance bestowed     by wind mountain spring waters rising from the heart of mother earth A remnant light glows deeply of one love's untamed wonders an unfastened feather glides abandoned rushing waters floating alighting pilgrim blissfully sails on stranded without wings a fallen wild feather free as bird wanting a place to be let free Sun in the summer air wind in buoyant feathered hair softly dancing upon wild river restless ripples to feel the love of holding on adrift asunder whence it touched on destiny's far-reaching journey yonder holding onto flowing rivers rolling towards the sea The incoming tidal waters blossom surge to greet wind river's gentle saunter converging slackening passage salt on feral feathered fragments arousing currents babbling swirl imbibed by the impassioned sea Wild rivers' born intentions a different kind of drifting passage to kiss the distant horizon where the sown sunlight settles submerged in shoreless ocean waters     to be free all at sea at last someone you used to know  2017
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Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 1:58 PM UTC
It's only water
*lay in impassioned throes, bodies pressed with one another, tracing sins with our fingers on each other's creamy skin. i want your taste to linger in my mouth just a little longer. to hold the fullness of your ******* in the palms of my hands. to lay together in sweat and ecstasy, full of pleasure.*
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Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 6:43 PM UTC
Sinful Desire
Upon the cardamom hills, mountain goats, ace acrobats, above the high rocks gaily prance, I fell in love with the coy mountain mist, silvery dense transforming each second, her wizardry in display, her white cloak was spread above green tea gardens. she sprung down in a hurry to meet me, excited how soothing is her soft caresses, impassioned kiss from the does she has learned a lot I can very well gather, the fear and the flight to keep danger at arm's length, purple sun, was curiously peeping down from the hills, mountain mist pulling spicy cardamom scent around her whispered to me, "Don't tell any one I am here before cruel sun chases me out of the hills, let me hide and play with the little ones of mountain goats in the cardamom valley where he can never reach"
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Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 8:58 AM UTC
morning at the cardomom hill
The porch waits behind the glass It empathizes as needed I step on it once again And smoke in its graces A compress over the cliff We aspire at Deveraux once again to hear the ocean's rhythmic advice And I do wince, such a daunting way upon the enraged sky A tormented face looking at impassioned ways And now a visitor appears another tormented face under a gossamer spun brazen reds opulent yellows pale blues push through as it unravels with a photograph Her porch vacant once again Mine thankful of its owner to give a futile roll of discontent And once again we listen and gaze And once again we inhale the salt air And once I saw because I stayed Four dolphins shoulder the sand
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Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012 at 8:02 PM UTC
Four Dolphins Shoulder the Sand
She rises and falls like a reposed breath before an entire world's visage in her encircled arms. The incandescent glow of the stage has an intoxicating quality to it, the music being something liquid, viscous. As notes thrum in tender and soothing caresses, her legs supple, twirl like petals cascading under the weight of raindrops, giving way to a lush surrender steeped in a language of love and need. Her very fire and impassioned soulfulness lifts her up above the crowd itself, burning for all to see. In this moment now her timelessness enraptures me. Another part of myself awakens to her grace and renders me gratefully whole. A sense of euphoria slow dances its way from her being to mine, consuming every piece of my body in a fiery bloom— charging me with a crackling, electrifying force unlike my mere own. I can see now that this is what she was born to do— to be on pointe, seeing everything. Any instances of worldly fear is left to the dying. The rhythms of her old pains, tribulations of past destructions, are now buried beneath her feet. And her radiant smile while she dances still speaks to me gently— that to be free is to be wonderfully lost in her waltz with destiny. © BT
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Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 8:52 PM UTC
The Poised Dream
"Tell me about you," he said. "What would you like to know?" she asked." Everything," he said." That could take some time," she said." I have time," he said.  He listened, and watched. He looked & listened for a live mind, live heart and live eyes. He hoped he would find contradictions. Confidence and vulnerability. Energy and stillness. Gracefulness and stumbling.  At home in a five-star hotel or eating pizza at home. Enjoying silly jokes and impassioned debate. A personality to express and a desire to please. He was not without checkboxes to be filled, of course; we are none of us blank sheets. But he did not seek perfection.He sought someone very real.  A woman with thoughts, feelings, passions. A woman who has known highs and lows, and been lost to neither. A woman who has things she will not compromise. A woman who has things about which she cares deeply. A woman who lives a philosophy of her own creation. A woman who rejects mediocrity. A woman who wishes to be tied and dominated in the bedroom, and to have doors held open for her outside it.  He knew what he sought was rare. He knew the hunt would take time.  But he had found it before, and would find it again. And he was in no hurry. His friendship was widely available, though his truly close friends few in number. His sexuality to the compatible ones. The whole of him, though ... everything; that would be available only to one. To an incredibly rare & valuable creature.  With her, he would share it all. They would venture into dark, hard places together. Then emerge into light, laughter-filled ones. They would share their minds, bodies, hearts, souls. They would share their dreams and their fears. She would share the whole of her with him, and he with her.  It would begin with the smallest step.  She would read this, and respond. Perhaps with a few paragraphs, perhaps with a few pages.  He waited, patiently.
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Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 12:44 PM UTC
Patience
"Tell me about you," he said. "What would you like to know?" she asked." Everything," he said." That could take some time," she said." I have time," he said.  He listened, and watched. He looked & listened for a live mind, live heart and live eyes. He hoped he would find contradictions. Confidence and vulnerability. Energy and stillness. Gracefulness and stumbling.  At home in a five-star hotel or eating pizza at home. Enjoying silly jokes and impassioned debate. A personality to express and a desire to please. He was not without checkboxes to be filled, of course; we are none of us blank sheets. But he did not seek perfection.He sought someone very real.  A woman with thoughts, feelings, passions. A woman who has known highs and lows, and been lost to neither. A woman who has things she will not compromise. A woman who has things about which she cares deeply. A woman who lives a philosophy of her own creation. A woman who rejects mediocrity. A woman who wishes to be tied and dominated in the bedroom, and to have doors held open for her outside it.  He knew what he sought was rare. He knew the hunt would take time.  But he had found it before, and would find it again. And he was in no hurry. His friendship was widely available, though his truly close friends few in number. His sexuality to the compatible ones. The whole of him, though ... everything; that would be available only to one. To an incredibly rare & valuable creature.  With her, he would share it all. They would venture into dark, hard places together. Then emerge into light, laughter-filled ones. They would share their minds, bodies, hearts, souls. They would share their dreams and their fears. She would share the whole of her with him, and he with her.  It would begin with the smallest step.  She would read this, and respond. Perhaps with a few paragraphs, perhaps with a few pages.  He waited, patiently.
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Dear Heart, I think the young impassioned priest When first he takes from out the hidden shrine His God imprisoned in the Eucharist, And eats the bread, and drinks the dreadful wine, Feels not such awful wonder as I felt When first my smitten eyes beat full on thee, And all night long before thy feet I knelt Till thou wert wearied of Idolatry. Ah! hadst thou liked me less and loved me more, Through all those summer days of joy and rain, I had not now been sorrow’s heritor, Or stood a lackey in the House of Pain. Yet, though remorse, youth’s white-faced seneschal, Tread on my heels with all his retinue, I am most glad I loved thee—think of all The suns that go to make one speedwell blue!
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Quia Multum Amavi
There are fewer things beautiful than ugly, I know that stars are most bright when they fall from impassioned skies, That when your skin meets mine, I am like an amnesiac being returned a lifetime of memories. I hate few things, except, perhaps, the murky lakes of your eyes, The misty beaches we explored until sunrise. How you pressed your lips to mine like a death wish, that it was deplorable, but we wanted more, more. My body was a map you tore apart when you got tired of exploring it. The ancient psalms of our tongues cannot silence. Ruins of ancient Rome survive on your lips, yet you still live, breathe. You call yourself mortal.
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Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 2:33 PM UTC
Memento Mori
I find you In the strangest places Like In between the freckles of her nose - Curled up to sleep in the nooks and crannies of a bittersweet melody Dipping your toes In pools of sound - Or Shapeless, clinging To skin bathed in light - You drip Letter after letter Into the palm of my hand As blue skies melt to blackness - Sometimes You sit, cross-legged, peaceful Up to your neck in rippling whiteness I can tell you've been Waiting Until a too-long stare brought you to life - Yet You crumble when I reach for you A beautiful mess Your inspiration drifts soundlessly down Glowing embers At my feet - You leak in measured counts From melancholy eyes - I breath your colors Your impassioned purples The anguish in your orange vibrations - You reach through the crack of my window Stardust in your amber hair My muse Rock me to sleep With lullabies of the mind - You swallow me, in silence Stare at me through the eyes of my lover Whisper secrets When the wind holds its breath - You wrap your feathered arms Around all that exists And bring it to the edge Of a kiss But just For a moment
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Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 10:23 PM UTC
Blink
My light has to be hidden from each and every walk of life; it is a target for the darkness and strong emotions of others that are rife. My soul is too deep and fragile to be torn apart time and time again, by impassioned people who end up causing unintentional pain. I am crushed by the weight of the universe. They say to be an empath is a gift - but to me it feels like a curse.
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May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 4:22 AM UTC
Empath
She walks at night likes passion's grace Through nebulous fields of dream landscapes Wild Morpheus her footsteps guides She’s lust’s impassioned wile incarnate Her will like swirling ocean currents Endows the night with wanton purpose Sent from heaven's pearly gates To make men ponder mortal fortune Tempting spirits will to sate Demanding accolades of prowess To satisfy her primal needs Traverse her treacherous terrain Her visage of immortal love Like honey dripping from the comb Inspires reckless heart's abandon Dawn comes like coitus interruptus   Narcotic wisps of contention fade A thrall with no earthly recourse
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Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 3:37 PM UTC
Succubus (re-post)
promenades the sleepless night through my, like rain, palm; tears, counting, marble-toward drops i am to nothing degenerated, pirating surrealism. with my contusions, awareness-lacked, tramples brought to the temple, rotoscoped, liquidates from the core, curdled blood. clouds, sickness with apathy, the air made balcony on, flesh-spoken, impassioned. i, the night, erotize begin their flock, sursum corda! tremble, i, and scrape the tower before me pulverization may lead to immunization, where i melt as sulfur in Midas’s clasp. i walked his tread, years on end, scoped out miserable, fragmented, at startwith: he touched my arm and to precious metals, pitchfork incubated, i arose fashioned his pedestal, glamored in steps, appraised biased no represent sources, ideal inertia, this primal adoration slips of drillpressed kisses caught off guard. in the tufts, my mortal : remember, i, of parquet deeply hidden; i am of a world, peace, cast : however, deeply lachrymogenic
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Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 1:14 AM UTC
by the tough of velvet
The rising moon has hid the stars; Her level rays, like golden bars, Lie on the landscape green, With shadows brown between. And silver white the river gleams, As if Diana, in her dreams Had dropt her silver bow Upon the meadows low. On such a tranquil night as this, She woke Endymion with a kiss, When, sleeping in the grove, He dreamed not of her love. Like dian’s kiss, unasked, unsought, Love gives itself, but is not bought; Nor voice, nor sound betrays Its deep, impassioned gaze. It comes,—the beautiful, the free, The crown of all humanity,— In silence and alone To seek the elected one. It lifts the boughs, whose shadows deep Are Life’s oblivion, the soul’s sleep, And kisses the closed eyes Of him who slumbering lies. O weary hearts! O slumbering eyes! O drooping souls, whose destinies Are fraught with fear and pain, Ye shall be loved again! No one is so accursed by fate, No one so utterly desolate, But some heart, though unknmown, Responds unto his own. Responds,—as if with unseen wings, An angel touched its quivering strings; And whispers in its song, “Where hast thou stayed so long?”
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Endymion
I stand before you naked and bare, Vulnerable and scared With trembling hands, and shaky breath Because you gingerly stripped me Of the armor I had long ago melded to my being. You carefully untied the intricate knots That had tangled my chaotic mind. You skillfully unfastened the clasps, Which held together my crippled heart. You watched as my insecurities Fell to the ground in a pile around my ankles. I stand before you naked and bare With trembling hands, and shaky breath Because the impassioned stare your eyes posses Pierces the façade that I had shrouded myself with. The softness of your caressing lips Comforts the exhaustion of fleeing love. The heat of your searching hands Melts the ice that encases my thoughts. The pressure of your firm body Pushes away the worries of acceptance. I stand before you naked and bare Because your love has set me free from myself.
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Jun 8, 2013
Jun 8, 2013 at 2:14 PM UTC
Naked
*Reflections of Paris this morning , for all the inhabitants of the world , especially those inspired by beautiful works of art and architecture  ! Those fortunate enough to have dined in world class eateries on cuisine prepared by Master Chefs , marveled over the downtown skyline high atop prominent monuments ! Impassioned lovers perusing her avenues , window shopping store fronts , boutiques along famous boulevards ! Senior couples recalling their yesteryears with great joy , frolicking , happy children playing in parklands , feeding songbirds with euphoria and curiosity , strolling walkways along the riverbank at Dusk with great wonderment and personal reflection The poet and poetess , musician and thespian , ballet dancer and street performer .. To lovers young and old , the continued hope of gaiety and splendor at every turn ! She is lovely indeed , the Queen of all that is beautiful on this Earth* ..
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Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 11:53 AM UTC
Paris
She walks at night likes passion's grace Through nebulous fields of dream landscapes Wild Morpheus her footsteps guides She’s lust’s impassioned wile incarnate Her will like swirling ocean currents Endows the night with wanton purpose Sent from heaven's pearly gates To make men ponder mortal fortune Tempting spirits will to sate Demanding accolades of prowess To satisfy her primal needs Traverse her treacherous terrain Her visage of immortal love Like honey dripping from the comb Inspires reckless heart's abandon Dawn comes like coitus interruptus   Narcotic wisps of contention fade A thrall with no earthly recourse
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Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013 at 3:18 AM UTC
Succubus
New hire Mentor acquired Office chatter Wine glasses clatter Invigorating conversation New contemplation Uninhibited imaginations Aggressive flirtations Adamant objection Withdrawn rejection Impassioned surrender Ecstatic splendor
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Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012 at 2:20 PM UTC
Progression
O golden-tongued Romance with serene lute! Fair plumed Syren! Queen of far away! Leave melodizing on this wintry day, Shut up thine olden pages, and be mute. Adieu! for once again the fierce dispute Betwixt damnation and impassioned clay Must I burn through; once more humbly assay The bitter-sweet of this Shakespearian fruit. Chief Poet! and ye clouds of Albion, Begetters of our deep eternal theme, When through the old oak Forest I am gone, Let me not wander in a barren dream, But when I am consumed in the Fire, Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire.
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2.1k
Written Before Re-Reading King Lear
***looking for my savior to undo me under the rubble of victims remission my chained heart nailed to a cross lust'd sheets beneath the ***** streets crucify myself lookin' for imprinted adoration little earthquakes of my soul unload'd save me from myself and these blood tears my heart thunders like a roller coaster ride, struggle to captivate your poetic prowess never good enough to leave my impassioned stain severe'd connections in feeble breath's wake washed away in torrents within ocean's depth castles crumble in the chaos of my mindless muse***
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Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 8:47 PM UTC
Crucified Little Earthquakes
August; Afraid, and lurking in corners at 2:00 a.m. In search of *** in search of someone to make love to me, but nothing compares to that one time it had happened before. Yelling out at 3:00 a.m. how much I had wanted it, at 3:30 how much I regretted it as I abused my skin in the powder room. Oh regret, still showing up for my duties but some switch had made itself know to myself before my consciousness.. I had begun to seek fulfillment, the likes of which I had never known before. My birthday comes and passes with a woopdy doo, and a firm lack of caring. Still I try, and still the she-demon inside lurks...dragging me into alleys into selling my heart for a thrill of being wanted. October; I am still with this man....but something is wrong with me... I have begun to play and it hurts me however the seperation and the dissonance begin to build this wall comes up around me and the emotions that still reside for my loved ones in my home valleys of Texas. I meet the realization of my demon, smelling sweet with a hint of Chlorox and Coke, cleansing me of my pain, here I come home to my hills and blue skys high, and I feel so tainted...but so full and lacking at the same time the more time I spend without her sweet enthusiasm pumping into me. Killing time and hearts on a ranch in West Texas, ******* in the fields giving my heart a wrenching once I realize that I am resembling the one who gave me this poison... the one who nudged me off the deep end. Punishing an innocent man, and torturing a criminal with ****** games, and false loyalty. I had become the grotesque...the bitter woman.... my love and impassioned glances growing dry day by day. No one cares.
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Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
2012: A Forgetting Remembered Part I
August; Afraid, and lurking in corners at 2:00 a.m. In search of *** in search of someone to make love to me, but nothing compares to that one time it had happened before. Yelling out at 3:00 a.m. how much I had wanted it, at 3:30 how much I regretted it as I abused my skin in the powder room. Oh regret, still showing up for my duties but some switch had made itself know to myself before my consciousness.. I had begun to seek fulfillment, the likes of which I had never known before. My birthday comes and passes with a woopdy doo, and a firm lack of caring. Still I try, and still the she-demon inside lurks...dragging me into alleys into selling my heart for a thrill of being wanted. October; I am still with this man....but something is wrong with me... I have begun to play and it hurts me however the seperation and the dissonance begin to build this wall comes up around me and the emotions that still reside for my loved ones in my home valleys of Texas. I meet the realization of my demon, smelling sweet with a hint of Chlorox and Coke, cleansing me of my pain, here I come home to my hills and blue skys high, and I feel so tainted...but so full and lacking at the same time the more time I spend without her sweet enthusiasm pumping into me. Killing time and hearts on a ranch in West Texas, ******* in the fields giving my heart a wrenching once I realize that I am resembling the one who gave me this poison... the one who nudged me off the deep end. Punishing an innocent man, and torturing a criminal with ****** games, and false loyalty. I had become the grotesque...the bitter woman.... my love and impassioned glances growing dry day by day. No one cares.
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