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Traci Eklund Nov 2013
my body is decaying like the leaves of november
you'll never know what its like to be
stuck out in the cold
with the smoke crawling down your throat
coughing out into the night
your echos carry
farther than you can see
they whisper inauable cries
as crisp as the winters night
everything so foreign to my aging skin
whats real on the outside
what is real within
can you call me out on my actions
or just bare to see me seep
seep into the ground
where you stand
my eyes witness you weap
is this misfortune
or an illness that has gone too deep
who is there to say we don't feel the same pain
we all stare at the same galaxies
even though blind to we
we all feed off the same soil
our hands etched so deep
we synthesize the same
born and die
breathe and sleep the same
some shorter than others
but were human
don't try to deny we are the same
beating hearts with a will to live
even when we abuse
we all yearn for the same
another tomorrow absent of pain
Traci Eklund Oct 2014
He jumps forward
she free flows through the sound
the yelling surrounds her
slowly as she hit the ground

Baby I love you,
she recalls as she brushes her knees.
Her son grabs his father
tears rushing down his face
its an all true reality
from love to hate

I've seen the bruises
I've seen the scars
of broken children with doubt in their heart
Traci Eklund Mar 2014
Every day is like another challenge.
Another chance to survive...
We boast and gloat ,
Off the little we know.
You discover more when you are open,
With no expectations of what’s to be.
Until you develop your own morals.
You unfurl your tainted schemes.
Ruin your reputation.
There is so much you've failed to seek,
Oh darling...
Your intentions pure,
Not pure enough to save the tainted ground in which you step.
I can tell you’re upset..
About the outcomes of the dreams.
May you weep in sorrow,
Even though tomorrow...
Holds another key,
To another door,
To another world of opportunity,
If only you’re crusted eyes could see.
The potential of passion,
Within the being.
Let your veins bleed out the poison ,
Your induced drug like reality.
Binge on sweet alcohol and smoking down your regrets.
But are they regrets? Or disappointments of who you are?
We see those nights reflect in the mirror,
The grim look upon your young face.
The crinkle marks faded where your smile used to be.
Running from fears and broken hearts,
Sitting in the rain...
Cold, worn and rejected.
When even turned up in the dirt,
They still pick for more.
I’m fearful to die alone...
To fade unnoticed.
To have loved is to have felt great pain,
To have lived is to have gained and lost.
When the day is old and you lay to rest your head,
Don’t be troubled by your past,
Or fear the unknown.
For one day we will stumble upon
The greatest gift...
Unconditional love and affection
Traci Eklund Oct 2013
I'd be lying if I said,
'Dear I haven't died before.'
Those bittersweet goodbyes,
when you turn your back...
Those moments in turn may blow away like ash.
A lot of these journeys are to build yourself,
conquer the stranger you face in the mirror.
We need to sit alone in lamp light...
Sip tea alone in the dark, covered in rain,
feel the essence of our beating hearts,
feel the cold radiate from the tips of toes to our cracked lips,
give thanks to those that came before us
who walked back out that door
to those who stayed and continue to give us more and more
thank you to those who added to this experience
our lives are just random moments strung together into a time frame
that sum up another being attempting this weird concept of existing
Traci Eklund May 2014
What if they told you you'd never make it...
What if they said you'll just be another statistic?
They tell you your not strong
and your dreams aren't worth it.
That your soul is ******
and your heart for the taking.
Your bones, their brittle.
Your eyes filled with life.
Blow after blow
you still stand higher.
Not higher than the mountains,
but higher than they'll ever be.
Your not another statistic
you'll make it
just breathe....
22/10/2013
Traci Eklund Feb 2014
that moment when you are a shadow
among the living
when your heart is beating
yet you feel nothing
the cold leaves me gasping
but I embrace the struggle
I hang high from the noose
of memories that haunt me
In sleep I am helpless
In reality I feel hopeless
I feel guilty when he wipes my wasted tears
when I am lost in my self induced nightmare
It is like my heart and mind are fighting
To forgive and forget
or to weep with regret
For I have let what they say shell shock me into oblivion
my own Armageddon
I am ashamed
Sorry, forgive me,
one day wounds will heal
one day..
Traci Eklund May 2013
these nights seem to get longer
the days are counting down but I still don't know
what time, where or when
it hasn't even been a week but I miss the simple things
your smile in the morning
talking over a cup of tea
Because of you I love red lights
and walks at 3 am
I love dancing to no music in the snow
to show me how vulnerable I am
my corny jokes and cherry colts
watching stars all in a daze
driving through a small town maze
                 four months isn't long right?
I won't forget you love.
Traci Eklund May 2013
It is hard to fathom the thoughts of a nineteen year old.
It is hard to consider which outside factors have effected your past, which influenced the present,
which inturn influences your future.
Every single moment spent somehow turns into a mascarade,
another page in your story.
The scale in which your past can influence a single moment of now is ridiculous.
No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it doesn't or it won't... is a lie.
The past is what made you who you are right now, in this moment today.
Although it does not mean that you can't change in the future and it doesn't mean you can't break the happen of running in circles.
It all really doesn't matter.
I mean running from a past that you want to erase will only erase the future.
When reality is a dizzy dream like state and it is injected with pure abuse your bound to break.
When you bottle up your thoughts and feelings,
and hold back those question.
Your holding back on moving forward.
If we only have this moment then why are so driven in circles by whats to be 10 years from now,
or what happened within the 10 years past.
It is all insignificant.
We can plan ahead, we can make the steps forward from yesterday, wallow within now
and ponder the possibilities of tomorrow.
What is positive now may be negative later on.
The thing is we never know what is to come of us, the people we love, the people we meet.
The only thing certain is that we all live and die.
I guess really all I am trying to say is, love without regret, live now.
The past consumes souls because we allow it too.
Withdraw from the addiction.
Surround yourself with those who make you happy now.
Don't worry about tomorrow because this moment is all you have and all you ever have.
Cause 2 minutes ago is history, and this single second is all we have.
Withdraw from your ego, forgive those who done you wrong, and continue to embrace this single moment and carry on.
Traci Eklund Jul 2014
Here it goes
She dips low
Under the covers
Of youth under fire
Passion fueled by desire
Burn your dreams
hot knives on the stove
Nothing in the refrigerator
A memo to call mom later
The stains on your carpet
Your love waits in the market
The one you'll never meet
Because you were too busy
Tweaking on the street
Oh the bitter sweet irony
Of your fathers words
Just another wild girl
With wanderlust
Wandering from day to day
Lust for a man who pays
Lost in sea of her own tears
She fades with the sun
Month after month
Year after year
Another chain reaction daughter
Who grew up without a father
Traci Eklund May 2014
Everyday you become farther from yesterday
your younger than tomorrow
your a second closer to the end
your a second farther from your past
you are who you want to be now
you change and shift like the earth that gives you life
although change, growth and age can be daunting
it is inevitable, it is beautiful and necessary
for even the most stationary objects weather over time
the rocks, the soils, our skin and hearts
we naturally progress and digress with time
I guess it is the essence of existence
the circle of life
18/11/2013
Traci Eklund Oct 2013
in the night i treat you like a shadow,
in the light your like a glare of the sun,
I see your figure and I run...
tragity is treating the one you loved like a stranger,
seeing their presence as a fear,
sense the danger...
there is nothing left to say
when its all come to grey
when the moments have come to fade
when all you hold is now empty air
its tragity to see the things you love come and disappear...
Traci Eklund Jul 2013
blanket forts and cups of tea
mother's old quilt hand stiched together
worn at the seams
castles of pure white snow
melt into rivers, transform into seas
we float among the rubble
eyes turned to the frosty sky
hazed, glazed over.
Plumes of smoke pour from our lips
we move to embrace from touching finger tips
intermingled in the cold of december
dancing drunk out in the yard
the neighbours call the cops,
we are singing too loud.
The lights they spun, the siren screamed,
your all that I have imagined.
all we have is each other till the sun comes to shine light on our eyes
when it hits morning
may I have this dance with you,
the only witness, the man on the moon.
Traci Eklund May 2013
Dearest world
the one I call home
the place I wander
and squander my time
watching fawna and flora
in the midst of rain at dawn
where misty haze meets the clouds of grey
my eyes tempered to the meeting gaze of stars above
the dew brushed upon my brow
the silty runoff stinging my burnt skin
stories that sleep on the beds of my nails
the tiredness that hangs below my pupils
oh cometh sweet winds of summer
let you linger within my soul
carry me away within your gentle arms
set my heart a blaze
let me seek what I desire most
cast away
float away
my dear world
keep me nomadic within the depths of your untouched landscape
keep me lost within your lonesome charm
Traci Eklund Jul 2014
tires squeal
1... 2... 3...
breathe.
the moments collapse into each other
as the memories fill the streets
the refraction of hope
off the glass of shattered dreams
3 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 second, stop
soul flees the body
for your heart stopped
the world continued to spin
even when your world proceeded to stop
one second sooner
one second later
consequence of choices
the youthful invisibility
becomes reality
when their memory fills the empty space
all because of one choice
one too many...
Traci Eklund May 2013
If I could turn back pages maybe I would
rewrite some history
although what use would it do
I would be right here
upon a rotting piece of lumber
hundged over
staring into the flames

If I could show you what I see
when I peer into the thickets of brush
when I teeter on the edge of what could be
a halt to all that I know, or we know

If I could lend you some advice
take what you will
that this path led
was contructed on broken hopes
repaired by fallacies
continued on by what appears to be good will
although I peer through my windshield inlayed with insect

If I could splatter the worries upon translucent glass
under hard force I would
watch it shatter, explode into a million little specks
let it peel away with sunlight and rain

Maybe that is what I will do,
let everything decay like this log
set a blaze
may they ashes blow and wilther away
But who I am kidding,
it will be awhile before anything changes.
Traci Eklund May 2014
There's that point when you look back
and all you see is the reflection.
I remember when those cliffs flew by in the rear view
where the red dust kicked up on brand new shoes.
Those coastal waters
crystal blue
the evergreens before me....
Those winding roads that changed me once before
changed me again.
The docks were closed off, as was him.
All those promises...
All the innocence, dead.
Because we are older
we grew farther
he grew bigger
and I was leaving.
Saying goodbye.
When before I was already grieving
I knew it was fleeting.
Those moments covered in snow
footprints covered
no one would ever know.
The path in the sand would blow away
the love in his heart would fade .
One day when I'd love myself I found my way.
One day ill forget that love
there is nothing left to say.
Young love under covers
started off with lies and mistakes.
I was a loose canon
my flaws were larger than life.
My innocence and ignorance
gave me no right,
to be the way I was
but our youthful folly and love
is an alluring drug.
Captivates the soul
but soon drains from your veins.
Then your left alone in the cold... broken and old.
Forgive and forget.
Ill walk away one more time...
with tears in my eyes,
as there is anger on your face.
I've doubt you've found inner peace
I cant hate you.
I just pray for your soul...
Traci Eklund May 2014
Some things we loose, while others we gain.
When we take chances and put ourselves and hearts on the line
any day is exceptional.
No day is ordinary,
for an ordinary day is when I met you.
An "ordinary" day changed my life.
I met you in my favourite season,
I was wearing my favourite touque.
You were foreign to me...
exceptional, mysterious and cute.
The blood stains on your canvas pants like a piece of art.
The body of a doe in your bare hands, disturbing yet beautiful.
The wildness that coursed through your veins,
the life in your eyes...
I always knew I'd find the man of dreams
in the forest surrounded by trees.
Although it was in a parking lot beside the naked hardwood
fate brought me to you.
Late night procrastination brought me to you.
Under ordinary circumstances
came extraordinary outcomes.
We loose what is less to gain what is more
fate brought me to you
an ordinary day became extraordinary
and grew forever more... <3
27/12/2013
Traci Eklund Jan 2014
Give me a reason to see tomorrow
as a carrier of light,
not the burden of sorrow.
may my bird fly...
may it rid me of what anchors me to the port I have yet to leave.
where boxes of old memories
fill my hull.
I'd pick up the phone to call you
but I don't want to cry.
I miss you terribly but I cannot bare the weight
for years I wished for better, on stars that were falling.
I've befriended the night sky for we are the same...
I am falling, fading and crashing into the light of another day.
Traci Eklund May 2014
some chose the company of fine wine
while I enjoyed the company of Thoreau
images of flora and fauna
woven into the spine of the book
with renditions of romance
between human and creature

humans are so self involved
the gravitational pull of their ego
can swallow an ecosystem whole
all things beautiful we destroy
we hunt, we cut, we want it all
every last ounce for ourselves
we have long strayed from our instincts
rather we strayed from purpose
into castles made of sand
with every grain being selfishness
the pursuit of belonging
the gathering of things
the celestial purpose
that once we revolved
now has turned to dust
we follow blind
hand fed ****
were told it's truth
but the "fallacies" are more legit
what do we strive for
another dollar made
moments that are priceless
give you more
than another pair of shoes
or fancy clothes tucked in your drawer
I'd give a million dollars up
to see a sunrise from a mountain top
then fade under the Los Vegas strip
to see the stars dance with northern lights
than the light pollution of NYC at night

for I have seen more than the one who has not stepped in the forest
for I have seen a process thousands of years in the making
the circle of life
of symbiotic connections and mutual gain
the soil the plants of which gave birth
to the food we eat and the air we breathe
to the nutrients infused in the ground beneath our feet
Traci Eklund Mar 2014
When I look at you
I see how far you've come
and the person I have become.
I see the paths we've chose,
and the mistakes we've made.
Felt the broken heart,
the hopeless love
the lines of laughter upon our brow...
from the nights laying sleepless
from a case of missing you.
Or the laughter that filled the room...
I seen the moments of weakness
and the moments of strength
where you held me high at my lowest
and I loved  you unconditionally at your worst.
Gave faith in your dreams
and prayed that love may fill you.

When I look at you
I see a day in November
when everything changed.
The day I found what was missing...
A man who loves unconditionally
and kisses me on my cheek
and holds my cold body gently to  sleep.
Tucks the blankets under my chin
as my hand rest upon his chest.
I get lost in the rhythm
of his  beautiful heart beat.
It was a moment of pure joy
to hear what makes him tick.
To feel his emotions
too hold him vulnerable...
beautiful... asleep.
Good night babe...
When I look at you
I remember the day I felt again
It is strange how the smallest things can effect us in the most profound way,
how you could learn to love relentlessly without fear.
For even if it all came to end,
the sweet bitter fate of it all would make every kiss sweeter.
I  love  *you
Traci Eklund Mar 2014
We can create life
Does that not make anything possible?

I counted the wrinkles and cracks in your skin.
ran my finger down your seems.
I remember when you moved in me...
my heart was beating too.
I never knew love until I looked into your eyes,
and could feel myself blossom.

You bring out the best in me.
Challenge me to be better than yesterday.
I learned to be vulnerable.
To entrust and feel your love.
I took a leap of fate
landing before you.
I would of never of guessed it,
but I knew I’d find you when I was hanging on by a thread.
When I gaze into your eyes...
when I am in the safety of your arms...
All I know is that I am blessed to have you
for now, forever, and *always
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
Melancholy youth
Led by lucid dreams
          Strangers stare
          A fair hair woman with her shifted eyes
          Astranged from society within her own boundries
Foundations and disconnected communication,
humans are brutal yet innocently beautiful beings.
Contructed on intentions,
broken apart by actions.
          We wallow in this gene pool of superiority
           but what are we superior to?
Us weak beings, small on a scale of things
Standing tall on fear
Hustling each other for gain
Gain of what?
           When you die what will matter?
           Will it be the money you gained, the riches and fame
           Will the material that covers your rotting flesh give you comfort in death
Lucid dreams haunt my youth,
A predetermined future I fear
For when I die and lay to rest
It won't matter how much material I gained or wealth and success
All what matters is that I lived, loved and lost and tried my best
Traci Eklund Jun 2013
farther reaches
long speeches
endless capacity inside your head
further you fall the higher you get
it will only be a matter of time
before it reaches you

how long would it take to end it all

have you seen the snow tops in colorado
try to imagine the river of passion within
have you ever got lost in an english garden
where have you been

hide and seek
nothing has fallen out of reach
you just don't know how to lean
there is hope inside that body
but the light is dim

raging on toxians
coping a feel
although the visions through your eyes
are opaque
your body is an etch a sketch of scars
the red ribbion tied in your hair
a reminder
that something once did exist
but it has been long since it resided here

farther reaches
larger objectives to obtain
tiny body
wirey frame
a lion heart
freed from a cage
hollow eyes
of sorrow
why dream of tomorrow?
Traci Eklund Jul 2014
The truth is hard to swallow
when your facing your fate between a  rock and a hard place.
Your hands tainted with the soil you reap
when the bottle is the only company you keep...
Come close to me
whisper your fears and worries
ill release you of your pain

The etchings in your palm of the passing years
weigh heavy on your soul,
your ghastly glow
in the shadows of dusk
as you fade back to dust.
The moment
when it all fades away
when your real life shows
it plays like a cinema...
a sold out show
a story of many
the addiction that steals souls
Traci Eklund Sep 2013
you may exsist
but you are a ghost to me
as am I
for it seems you never knew me
oh the sweet irony
oh the innocent trust
oh I don't blame you
for who am I to say
the flaws I release are as real as yours
but I know that the blood I bleed
may of led you astray
as for I know I was never easy
in the end
love fades like the light in my eyes that night
when I believed it would last for awhile
but every moment is fleeting
every promise is misleading
or so I have learned
the lines got tangled
I was choking myself out
I would be lying if I said I was alright
for I have seen my mistakes in the clearest light
the reflection in the mirror oh so real
the reality of my position, spinning fast as the wheel
thank you for all its worth
I may now be a ghost of these streets
those memories just linger in the air I breathe
I feel the cold of the pavement beneath my feet
you are now a ghost
for it seemed none of this never happened
maybe, oh maybe we can just forget
or at least I hope you suceed
the last time we spoke still haunts me
so dry and dull
the words so stale and short
in time
all good things must come to and end
and so it did...it is better that way
Traci Eklund May 2013
You fight
I scream
What is this all for?
Why force another person to believe they are not worthy?
Why make them look at themselves less?
It is no longer funny
when I stare and question my identity...

it is meaningless all that pours from your lips
never  has it occured to me
that the words you speak are poison
that the life you lead is dead

I am not here to judge
I hate to fight
I want to fall asleep at night
knowing you all are at peace

but how can I love when I hate what you've become
how can I believe when your fallacies lead destruction

no one controls a single soul

you may label
you may grieve
but my fellow friends
what you decide may lead me to leave
I hate to say goodbye
but its the only justice I see

May you be you
and let me be me
with or without you
I will be free
I have learned this life I live is too short to care about your beliefs
Traci Eklund May 2013
Is it possible that the emptiness is alright
that the darkness that we fear the most
holds the most light
that the days we count hold no weight
that the relationships we share are fake
that the love we give is endless
that the smiles we show are a reflex of conditioning
that the lives we lead are reflecting nothing
that what we live for is meaningless
that what we seek may be worth nothing in the end
that who we depend on the most are as brittle as castles made of sand
what is there to expect
we make it what we make it
we create what we create
we do what we do
with or without others
we carry on
you got to
you got to fill the gaps with some kind of meaning
you got to drown the grieving
you got to carry on
when things change
it is just a reflection of how uncertain everything is
stop worrying
we cannot predict the future
just hope for the best
Traci Eklund Jul 2013
paint drips down your finger tips,opaque
the stentch of coffee, sweet colgne
engalfed in world far from what we've known

the stars are spinning, the world turns black
the fridged cold that wisps down your back
left there standing in a world familar, stone
but miles in thought in place called home

timid creature, a human being,
a man of wonder consumed by demons

where is the love you crave the most
a reflected shadow, a long past ghost.
the silent solitude grows and grows,
whos there to give answers, when you question why
to hold your shaking body, consumed by lies
where is there to wander,
when the foot prints have gone away
to make sense of these passing hours
morphing into days

bound to wood, a worn canvas, a man,
making sense of colour, the strokes, an extension of his hand
boiling over in sense of rage, across the palette a water haze
sensible man, turns his cheek in fear
I too turn away from the people I fear

the ones who betray,
the ones who you love,
the dreams you conjured,
the unknown you ponder,
the pursuit of happiness and love.

the reflection can be daunting
the person you see
I too am confussed which direction this life will carry me.

when the weight is heavy,
you can conflide in me.
or let the pencil be you guide
may the lines set you free.
may the shades of darkness and shades of light
give you comfort
may the hues of the seasons bring you closer to yourself,
or wallow in your tea and coffee,
sleep within your creation
explore your deepest wealth
life, the pursuit of learning to being human.
Traci Eklund Sep 2014
Look at that.
You see that!?
The fog rising from the valley,
the river winding,
disappearing around the bend.
The mountains like a card castle,
fragile yet mighty.
Lonesome yet the least lonely.
For the moss beneath your feet is living, the soils leaching, and goats leaping and breathing.
On top the crest you lay your head. Eyes turned to the north,
as flickering lights turn to a dusty milky way.
My heart outstrecthed, vulnerable for the Lords taking.
I believe in your beauty but they think im faking.
My dreams are your dreams,
My riches are your riches,
My love is your love,
My heart is your heart.
Amen.
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
Hello creator,
my mother, my father,
what have you gave me, asked this  lonesome daughter.
You provided me foundation in which to stand,
mother you taught me morals in which I do not believe,
the pain I wallowed, the grief I seeked.

Do you remember when I would wander,
these streets of this town, the things i'd ponder.
Do you remember when I layed sleepless at night,
trying to forgive and forget the fight.
I do not blame for it is all that you've known,
but the burden is so deep, you and dad look as cold as stone.

I remember when I sought for love,
it was at the bottom of a bottle,
hidden in the smoke of a cigarette,
it was interwined with regret,
and it was burning out, golden red.

Oh mother, oh father I do not blame,
I forgive, I forget,
the orgin of this pain.
For years I'd lay sleepless, for years i'd wander inside this horror,
I know you never knew you hurt me,
but the pain you bleed seeps into my core.
Traci Eklund Mar 2014
On the waters edge of old Huron,
lays islands in the mist,
the horizon composed of opaque grey...

Tarnished oaks of spring
offer their ****** buds to rays of sunlight,
to unfurl life,
to sacrifice a selfless offering,
to blossom beauty,
metamorph into shade...

To wilt and wallow with the winds of autumn.
To solemnly parish with flakes of snow.
From birth to death may you serve a purpose...
grow with beauty,
and die with grace.
Be thankful for the day before us,
and the day we envietably fade...
Traci Eklund May 2013
Almost twenty years later
starting to gain ground
Understanding comes bitter and sweet
always believeing  I was ahead
foolish
always believing I was so strong
denial
always avoiding the issue
truth

Truth is
fear has led to defeat
Harsh times
led to retreat
For no other reason than fear
Bigger problem is letting go

Inexperience still wallows in the cavity my being takes hold
Smothering in fear of losing
Holding so tight
everything is brusing
Bones so tense
its confusing
Anxious over absolutely nothing
So *******  needy it is crazy

Got too much time
been around people too long
forgot that it is okay to be alone
Traci Eklund May 2013
I used to stare at the night sky
wondering if the one person I'll forever love
would be watching the same star...
Now I stare at the stars knowing the one I love is out there
and each star keeps me company in his absence...
Love is everywhere
you just got to be ready to open your heart
Happiness is there
you just got to forget about everything and see it
Traci Eklund Nov 2014
maybe the meaning of life is to never stop exploring and learning.
to be one with what is real and resort back to what we were mean't to be...
wild.
humans striving for something,
not just breathing and living for nothing.
give reason to living,
be part of something.
life is bigger than you can see
or comprehend.
open your eyes to what is really at hand.
join the pursuit of understanding
what it is to human,
the pursuit of what it is to be.
all i need is faith and what God gave me.
Traci Eklund Feb 2014
boom!
There I was, jaded... melodramatic....
fate was tempted when friends became enemies
when foes became ghastly shadows of anguish
I lived in a fortress of empty glass bottles
binge on the wine of our saviour
whose blood stains the alter?
where I fell upon my knees
before my  retrospect,
before the reflection of desolation
that filled my restless eyes.
slowly my tomorrow filled with hope
rivers of love pulsed through my veins
my hands could grasp beauty
my tongue could taste the smoke upon your breath
it was you
the one who found me at the end
who pulled me out of the carnage
Traci Eklund Aug 2014
Little money.
No bed to rest your body.
Just boxes of your life
waiting to move again and again...
Packed away are my anxieties.
The pressure within my head.
The lump within my throat.
I would cry if I didn't choke.
I hear the children,
they pray to be older, pray to be 23.
Little do the see the domino effect from abuse to sobriety.
Struggles come bundled like presents under the tree.
I tell myself tomorrow will rise a better me.
It's hard to let go, the stress from the outside to within.
Tell myself tomorrow I will rise a stronger woman.
I will rise mighty with the grace of the Lord.
It will be alright...
Traci Eklund Feb 2014
She harnessed her thoughts upon the page,
every word, a god-like scripture,
she spoke of his love as elixir.
His heart beats beside hers,
she could feel his arms clasped around her bare skin
ever so sweet....
She never felt so alive before
but nor has she ever felt this...
For the moment she wakes
he will be holding her tighter,
the world outside will be moving so slow...
the tires are squealing, the pastel sky rising over the hill tops and tips of trees.
As he is whispering words so delicate
she is hanging on every word.
Every morning she falls in love again
as he stares into her eyes and gently clasps her hand.
Its fate, or so it seems....
Traci Eklund May 2014
There I would cry
As if it isn't enough
To see her cry upon her knees
You are a crusader
A wild beast
With your crown of thorns
Will your hate cease?
Like abandoned homes
You stand alone
A heart of no peace
Your 3 feet from your grave
With your mind speaking louder than your heart
Who will be there to mourn when you part
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
We lay tangled up in sheets
your eyes golden brown
the sun shine through this fogged window
were in the moment, in the now
finger tips meet
chapped lips to greet every morning
we lay in youthful folly
our future still a mystery
our past left at the door
you are all I will ever need and more
you saved me, I saved you
I just want to waste this sunday morning
laying in bed holding you
telling you
that your all I need and more
I love you dear
and I will miss you when you walk out that door.
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
Sometimes home doesn't feel like home at all
The hate you harbour,
the words that pour from your mouths.
Moments of bliss are a disguise
I look in the mirror
I am not foreign to the pain in these eyes.
In time they say, things will change
I wish everything would wash away with the rain

I run from everything you are
I hide from the scars
I try to forgive and forget
but when the memories are reality now it is hard

It is a routine these child like schemes
I am tired as you must be too
Home no longer feels welcome
I wish it would be
Everytime I come back
I regret the decision
Everytime I come back
I hope things have changed
But when you have been living this way for so long
what can I say....
Oh what I would give to hear you say...
I am happy.
Traci Eklund Jun 2013
rush.
where to next?
where am I going to lay my head...
in a foreign bed or on the ground again?
How these days grow long,
endless endeavours.
I love it.
Although the tendancy to fall hard.
Smile because it is all you can do,
laugh because silence is deadly.
when one day folds into another,
another card is delt,
you take the hand your given,
with no sorrow,
you carry on...
for today is filled with scars
as was yesterday and tomorrow.
it builds character they said
it will get better
I believe it will...

I just hope I don't get lost
finding my way back home
wherever that may be...
Traci Eklund Mar 2014
have you ever sat on the edge of town
where light pollution meets the mikly way
where the waters edge meets shadows with the valleys below
silver lining on the tips of the tide
what is there to fear
where is there to hide
when your fate is set forth with the sun rise
have you ever danced under the light of the moon
with flakes of snow on your brow
he spins you light
whispers I love you
like it is some secret
but it is no secret
the whole world can see it
Traci Eklund Jun 2013
keep having these dreams
they are not dreams at all
just an illusive state
of hide and seek
through mazes and corridors
past every exit is another turn
every direction I travel doesn't seem to be new
although I have troubles finding you

silence holds no weight
postcards just reiderate
the fact your alone
souls just searching for home
where there is no more wishing
on pennies
what is luck
what is a dream when they are empty
when you awake more lost
the world will go on without me

no road to escape
the fear of illusion
my soul may defuse
into social confusion
wheres there to run to
when your broken down and empty
when your soul is weak and hungry
need a fix that not going to consume my body
where is the love that haunts me
a comotose state of glory
just another page of my story
foolish to think things would change
beauty only lasts for so long
until its deranged
Traci Eklund May 2013
Oh simplicity how you reach out to my closed arms
  in fear of how simple it may be to be happy
  Without worldly posessions in grasps of their needy hands
I've never felt so at peace as the trade winds sweep my hair on delicate sunsets of May
  where red wine makes me lush but aware...
  of the magnificence of this moment,  here,  now.
The geese migrate, I seperate from the man made sounds of the city
  although the connect the dots of street lights seem to guide me
The shifting landscape
  the shifted skew of my life
  five years ago I wouldn't have guessed this far
The time is so simple, slow-moving, sweet
   I can almost feel the heart beat of excitement
  or the beat within my youthful feet.
The railroad still gleams at dusk
  as does the lake shine
  as does the hidden blackbirds and blossoms of springtime.
I now spend here alone as I did when I was young
  troubled, I would run.... to the same spot
  and watch the same sun as it shone
  day became night
  the stars endless candle light
Now I'd ponder for hours
  leave here smittin
  relieved by the gift of life

I often forgot how precious simplicity is as I rush through the day...
But why can't we just lay back in silence
wallow in what is...
ponder like a little child of what may be out in the universe

I lay here now,  alone
Spell bound by what I see
an array of colourful hues and natures generosity
I wish you were here with me

Smoke plumes heave as I exhale through these lungs
This place of mine, timeless
memories still live here
I've come to remember all I have known
and the simplicity of happiness still flourishes here
just got to stop and wallow...
Traci Eklund May 2014
I awake to the words before me
like a stale omen.
I sit till my hands numb, my thoughts dry
and eyes blurred.
Is this what has come of the day?
A zig-zag stitch,
an endless mantra of words that I give birth.
Line after line of black upon white,
of emotion upon meaning,
that I rearrange from grieving.

Hello there pages of my work...
the hours of sleep lost.
The minutes of life lost to give you birth.
The stress runs deep upon my brow.
The furrowed **** deep down.
Bury me upon your pages,
cut my wrist with your wisest words.
Let my blood leak
into pools of your work.
Let my heart pour upon the white snow.
All these hours,
page,
and words
I must let go.
For now I have another chance,
another go...
11/11/2013
Traci Eklund Jul 2013
there is no longer a division between days...
it is just an endless phase of flashes of light, followed by prolonged darkness.
these eyes are tired but don't seem to close,
the ache that is deep within these bones.
drawing up blanks.
the words don't seem to fit.
but they dont need to.
its 3am.
lips deep in tea,
under empty blankets.
But then I remember why I am here...

the feeling in your heart stays
long after your lips depart.
no one has ever made me smile as much as him.
the simple things...

standing in the forest barefoot, alone, and in fear...
I gained more then I think I will ever comprehend.
when day after day you wake up to the sun rising through
the windows of a log cabin
you begin to see life in a different way.
have watched the stars rise above my head,
my body cold and wet.
the milky way and the scattered collage of lights...
the first thing that came to mind was him...

stars respresent the vast possiblities of life
anything is possible
the most beautiful things happen when you least expect it
like him...

Once you blink the moment is gone
two weeks later here I am...
from his flaws to his perfections
I love unconditionally...

No one is perfect,
there is differences,
there can be awkward silences...
nothing is pure, but the key is to growing and trying.
ive learned in the past two months
it can be hard sometimes in life
to be far from the one you love
or to be far from things you expected or known
but you cant give up
no matter how much it can be trying
in the end things will work out.
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
How do we know what is real and what is fake,
how do we know if you're in a dream or if you're awake.
Everything in existance is gauged by numbers...
the distance in which we've travelled,
a date of birth,
how old we are,
the amount of minutes we've breathed,
the number of times we've wished upon a shooting star.
We ponder on many levels
We live in different dimensions
different time zones, a number of directions.
We are all disconnected yet connected in some way.

Here we are,
in an on going time lapse
a metamorphis of numbers
gauging our existance
yet again it is the human persistance
to label, to categorize
to put a meaning to everything that lays in front of our eyes
but why don't we just drift...
Traci Eklund May 2013
Bang
In an instant it is all erased
every word
every fallacy
every memory
Gone...

At night I barely dream
because reality had invaded my perception
Dreams skewed by happiness and revolting angst
nobody is who they are
or who they say they will be
it is all in colour
but fuzzed out like my old television screen
the static energy
cut and paste faces
old foreign postcards
What the **** does this all mean?
Am I living the dream and reality is my sleep
or is this all just a big misunderstanding

Hold on, I think I hear my alarm clock beep..
Traci Eklund Mar 2015
Its constant melancholy living in a city.
Your contained between faded yellow lines and blinking red lights.
I yearn for the crisp January moon that isn't drowning in faded street lights and exhaust fumes.
I miss staring out into the misty meadow damp with dew
where fawns grazed lightly and I tip toed away.
Where is the forest that I used to wander,
where I got lost on trails with my father.
Our hearts are wild,
that's why their caged.
But this heart can't be tamed...
Traci Eklund Apr 2013
Time traveller,
hopeful wanderer,
the map is etched in your palm.
The dirt beneath your finger nails,
the grit between your teeth,
the snow that blows through your open window
don't wallow in defeat.

Reside in the home of your dreams
chase a thought and see where it leads.
The second has past, no longer stand still,
the world keeps spinning, the clock keeps ticking
and then there is you....
still pondering.
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