A feeling so void of anything it's hard to explaine it,
A feeling that catches you at any moment even when you know where you are,
It's not the phiscal sensation,
It's the mental taxation,
Where am I going,
How did I get here,
Where are you,
Why have you gone.

Lost

Welcome Princess,

Why don't you walk over here and see where you'll be staying.

Yes Princess this is definitely the place this is no mistake.

Her eyes take in the black walls and thick lush red carpet the four poster bed with ropes hanging down onto the mattress,
she sees the chains on the wall and her heart beat quickens her body trembles with excitement,

O how how she trembles white skin a paler shade of white shivers of anticipation and lust,

O how she craves the touch of skin on skin, the feel of hard callused hands running over her back down her plump buttocks and down her inner thigh,

Her soul crying out for abandon of everything crying out for the last push of muscle waiting for the tensing and the in drawn breath, waiting for the hard gripping hands waiting for that final push to pull her into oblivion.

Thank you my prince she says as she slips out of white silk dress and knells next to her prince charming waiting barley able to contain her lust and hope of oblivion.

Welcome Princess to my world.

people tell me how to lead my life,
they bully me into it,
they try and mould me,
and try and tell me its simple,
and they tell me that i will bend under there will,

But this is where i say good bye to "them" because since i could think for myself,
i realised that actually life is complicated,
people lie and cheat,
they steal and ******,
they are sly and they use you,

i realised that to be my own person to find my way,
i had to take a different path,
so instead of following in the foot steps of those before me,
i didn't lie or cheat i didn't steal or ******,
all i did was to take what they gave,
and that is pain.

and i realised that,
really thats all we ever feel,
pain

it simple and easy to understand,
it hurts,
it burns,
it makes us cry,
it makes us want to die,

but we don't die we take that pain and turn it on others,
in wars and fights,
by bullying,
by ******,
by picking on the weak and pretending that we,
are strong.

when actually we are weak,
so weak we find it hard to stand in the morning,
we regret our actions,
we regret the words that have said,
and think to our selves,
why, why did i do it.

so when those people tell me how to lead my life,
and they bully me and hurt me,
i take it,
over and over again,
some say that thats being strong,
but me personal i think its because im weak,
and i cant stand the fact if i get off he floor ill just be beat back down,

but sometimes thats what we need to do,
to get up,
to take the pain,
and stand up,
stand strong,
and take control,
and lead our own lives.

Day by Day the phone calls come,
Day by Day the knocks come on my door,
The Hounds have been released,
Baying for blood,
Baying for the liquid green blood they call theres,
Baying for my hard work,
Baying for the liquid green that i harvested,
That i Worked for,
The Pencil pushing hounds have been released.

Day by day the hounding comes.

Life isn't optional,
We are all born,
We all take our fist steps and say our first words,
We all take those steps and we laugh at the joy of the freedom of movement,
We all say our fist words and smile and laugh at the freedom of being understood.

But then we grow older and see these actions in a different light,
our steps controlled and manipulated,
our words changed and banned,
our freedoms gone,
its chained to reason and the higher ups.

so we make bricks of reason, bricks of passion and we fight back how ever we know how as it is said:

“A concept is a brick. It can be used to build a courthouse of reason. Or it can be thrown through the window.”

so what will your choice be to build a house of law like those of past and achieve what so many others have failed,
or do you fight with your bricks and succeed we all others have failed.

Or do we change the course of history!

Take a chance, start the movement, take the first step and speak of freedom.

Not the childish whims of no law and no consequences but the freedom to live.

throw off the chains of technology and social media,
throw off the chains of theology and religion that bind us to war,
throw off the megalomanic controllers of our world and take a stand.

life isn't optional but Freedom is!

break those chains and life for freedom.
live for life its self.
Freedom
Life

we are all intertwined by the decisions that we make.
so lets choose together.
Lets make Freedom possible.

Light likes to think its the fastest thing,
That it can travel anywhere and be the first there,
Light believes nothing can beat it to its destination.
But no matter how fast or far light goes it is always beaten,
because darkness has always got there first and is always waiting for the light.

In life we trust many things to many people,
In life we trust that our decisions are made for the right reasons,
In life we trust.

But is that trust mislaid,
When did we lose trust in us,
Us! Ha us is humanity,
When did we lose trust in ourselves,
When did trust become fear.

What are we,
What are we made for,
Why do we feel,
Why do we have the ability to think,
Why do we have the ability to trust.

In life we trust and get broken by our selves and other by humanity.

In death we let go and finally we trust for real becuase we know that it's all over.

Open yours eyes please,
Open them to the new day,
Open yours and see the sun rise,
Let it wash away your nightmares my dear,
Open your eyes and let me take your hands,
Let me help you up,
Open your hands to mine so I can help stand my dear,

Let me take you to all the places you wanted to see,
Open your eyes and see that I will do that for you,
Let me give you all the things that you need,
To surprise you with roses and tickets to Unknow destinations,

Planes to exotic places,
Breakfast in different cites,
Memories scattered over the world,

Open your eyes darling,
Open your hands,
Take my hands and take the first step,
In this adventure,
That we call life.

I dream of a life without these bars,
I dream of a life when the darkness no longer holds me down,
I dream of a life where the darkness does not my dreams and turn them into nightmares,
I dream of a life where my nightmares no longer plague my days,
I dream of a day where my pain dose not make me cry out in horror,
I dream of a day where my sorrow does not destroy my heart,
I dream of a day when my heart does not break at the mere thought of your name,and
I dream of a day when my eyes are not filled with tears.

But these are mere dreams and fantasies but in reality, i am in pain and always will be for i lost my love my hope and my passion,
these are but dreams of a fool, because  my darkness is my own it cannot be taken or hidden or made to disappear because there are my fears and my loss and sorrow,
these are the but the dreams of a madman,
a madman is what i am,
I only see you when i close my eyes, i hear your voice like a whisper in the wind and when i wake at night a search for you but only find memories which drive me further to insanity.
I dream but as i dream i fall further into my madness further into insanity.

i've often wondered what the point of life is,
ans after 18 years of life i don't think i've gotten anywhere,
by anywhere i mean the point in life,
but i have found an answer for some of my problems,
and that answer i can thank seasick steve for,

and heres his answer and mine,

"So lighten up have a cup of my happy golden drink
it will taste strong to begin with, but you’ll get used to it I think.
It’ll wash away your sorrows and soak up your concern.
Only trouble when you wake up… not a single tables turned."

and to be honest i have gotten used to it,
to the taste and effect,

so tonight ladies and gentleman join me and have a glass if my favourite drink,
drown away or sorrows and soak up our concerns,
because the sky is not baby blue,
and our flats and house which aren't all pristine,

and have a cup of whisky and join me,
while we count away the night till the bells ring,
to bring through the new year,
heres to hoping that whisky won't be my favourite drink.

Cheers.

I'm done being calm
Done being the one to back down
**** this ****
**** the lies
**** the people who hurt me
Who put me down
Who tell me that I'm worthless

**** this ****
Cos I'm done
Done with Wight on my shoulders
Done with te pain
Done with anger

**** this ****
Becuase next time I get pushed or poked
I will snap
And I will end it all

So **** this ****
The demons here and it's ready to play.

come and get me,
you know you want to,
you stand there and look at me,
staring putting all your hatred in it,
so why do you grow a pair,

come and get me,
you say you will often enough,
whats are words if there is no action behind them,

come and get me you *******,
stop antagonising me,
learn the way of this world and sort your problems out.

come and get me.

After all these years,
Here we are still following the sunrise,
Watching where it leads,
And never where it ends,
Mesmerised by its colours,
And the sounds surrounding it,

After all these years we still don't understand,
That we will never understand the earth and sun,
That it was never meant to be understood,
But to be Admired and looked at,
To see the Beauty,
And to have hope ignited in our hearts and souls.

sometimes we think to much,
try to understand what was never meant to be understood,
try to explain what needs not explaining,
we never truly stop and see.

See the Beauty and Be Inspired.

Two lovers lost in a world of pain,
One says goodby while the other,
Begs,
Pleads,
And cry's,
For the other to stay.

But no they leave his heart splits in two,
Tears from her eyes,
Tears in his.

They split apart staring after each other,
Lost forever is there,
Love

Forever lost and never found.

Your trust and Friendship with me is more dear then anything that I have,
It is not your fault you are no ***** or *** but you are human,
And I don't blame you for that never will I blame you for that,
The solitude was not created be you alone there are others both near and far,
Family and friends of old and new,
I do not want to stress you, hurt you or anything like that,
All I want is to do to you what you do me,
To forget the pain and the things that burden us may that be for a momeant or a lifetime,

It's not your fault for my solitude it is my own.

one text,
one sentence,
a couple of words strung together,
meant to ease the pain,

And Yet..

they don't,
they change the way i think,
take away the love i once had for you,
to understand i was nothing more,
than a.
Good Laugh
is just painful.

being a mistake was easy to deal with,
but just being a laugh in your words,
is worse.

Never let go,
Hold on tight,
Because im never letting go,
Im not going to let you go down alone,
I wil give you my strength to help you fight on,
To help you every hurdle,
To break through every wall,
I will not let go,
So hold on tight,
And never let go.

The vibrations rocking your skull,
The bass trapping your thoughts as your body catches up,
The power of pure bass collapsing all thoughts of moving,

Raw power
Pure emotion
Raw bass
Pure vibration.

Dubstep watch you drop as the bass hits.

I dont want to be afride,
I don't want to runaway,
I don't want hate,
I don't want to love.

But as human, as a man or woman we do all those things.

But I'm tired,
I'm scarred,
I'm broken and healed warped,
I'm lost.

A women once said to me that to defy life is to defy love,
And that to live we must love,
But it's too much,
I'm broken and I fear for the ones I love.

How can I love while I fear that I'm still broken to live.

I don't want to be afride,
I don't want to runaway,
I don't want hate,
I don't want to love.

But we must because that is how we are made.

Sometimes the best thing to do,
Is the hardest thing of all to do,
It's hard because it means letting go,
Letting go of the ones you love and hold dear,
Letting go of all hopes and dreams,
Letting go of the wistful thoughts you once held onto,

And I've come to realise that me,
Myself,
I've already done most of that,
Let go of dreams,
Of the wishes and hopes,
It's the people that I haven't let go of yet,
Because they keep holding on,
Why do they not see what I really am,
A dreadful poison,
One that rots your heart and soul,
One that kills you from the inside out,
Why do they hold on,
Why do they want me to live.

I don't know,
I just want them to understand that I don't want to be here anymore,
Don't want to have to deal with all the crap,
All the pain,
The scares,
And cuts,
The people who pour the salt into the wounds,

I just want to go so I won't hurt anyone else....

I remember once in church,
when i used to go,
before i lost my faith,
a quote, one that has stuck with me all these years,

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

it was a quote which gave me strength,
and hope,
hope in the fact that i was not alone in the face of danger,
in the face of loss and death,

but the funny thing is,
hope is a lie,
as it that quote,
when we walk in the valley of death in the shadow of pain,
we are alone no one stands with us,
no one give us strength or courage,

these are forged by us,
courage,
hope,
strength,
we must build these,
we must create these to survive,

because the valley of death is a harsh place,
a place where one wrong step,
can lead you to your hearts fears,
and your souls pain,

because when,
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
we walk alone and must forge our own path.

Welcome to the night and the darkness,
Welcome to the shadow world the opposite of the daylight,
Welcome and rejoice,

For here is the place where the rules no longer exist,
For here the air is ecstasy and the water is spirits,
For here lust and *** is currency,
For here is the last place in the world you can go.

The final frontier to explore and expolite,
The last line of morality,
The last line of a good conscience,
For here is the end of humanity.

Release the Fear,
Release the apprehension,
The False Starts,
And The False Ends,

Release the Shaking of your hands,
The racking of your chest as you heave tears down your face,

Release all that you hold inside,
Release the Pain,
Release the Sadness,

Release it All,
Open yourself to the new,
And Let go of the Old,

Believe in yourself and What you can do,

Because believe me when i say this,
"You Are Not Alone, Not Alone With Your Fears, Your Sadness, Your Pain"
Believe me because i know what it feels like.

To hold on to the fear,
To hold onto that pain,
That sadness,

To Cling To it.

But Now With Me.

Let it Go,
Release your hold on it.

Be Free,
Be Yourself and not what your Told to Be.

music blasting into my ears,
rain pelting my face like tears from a forgotten god,
wind blasting against me,
but in all this chaos i have never more alive,
the fight to put on foot in front of the other,
pure primal force of me against her the mother of all nature,
the fight to survive the onslaught.

the fight to live.

Open my eyes,
Let me see the truth,
Open my heart,
And let me love again,

Hold onto me,
Drag me from my nightmare,
And into a Day Dream,

Open My Eyes and let me see the truth.

*******,
who says i have to follow what you say,
**** that,
you words were poison,
your words are lies,
**** the times when you manhandle me,
**** the times you threaten,

next time you look into my eyes with rage and hatred remember,
that i was born with that too,
from you.

Theres a certain clarity in solitude,
A solitude created by someone who you thought was there for you,
Who said they would be there for you,
Who said they would meet you and make you smile,
A solitude created by someone who you thought cared for you,
Who you thought would take away your fears and replace them memories of happiness,
who you thought would warm your heart,
That clarity is simple some people only care about until they have no need of you,
Until they need you to care for them,
To look after them,
To hold them,
To take away there fears,
There pain,

Solitude gave me the answer today.
A small thing it is to realise what your worth to people,
And when that worth seems to be nothing,
everything be comes clear.

its easy to hide,
to not show your self,
its easy to just disappear,
its easy to stop texting stop calling,
stop all communication,

**** like magic,
gone with out a trace,
its easy,
a bit of smoke there,
a few mirrors here,
and i'm invisible,
gone to the naked eyes of everyone,
all those people who want to pry at the open wounds,

so here i go again spreading the smoke and placing the mirrors,
making it so that all the people who want to hurt,
who want to pry,
who want to rip apart everything in there path,

so with a magic word,
or a swish of a wand,
im gone,
like smoke and mirrors,

im just the smoke that everyone will ignore,
dissipating in the air.

every day i ******* my armour,
tighten the breast plate,
pull on my greaves,
and ******* the sword that kills so many,

everyday its this same routine,
get up put the armour on,
and go out to battle,

everyday its the same line up,
the same people at my side,
who scream the same war cry,
but i realise that now,
the war cries don't scare anyone,
the charging lines of men,
and the clashing of shields,
have become a chore not a deadly game of death,

i trade blows with men as if it were nothing,
i joke to my self thinking what a shame i just sliced his throat open,
but really if i hadn't he would have done the same to me,
but is that really the reason why i fight is it why i keep trading blows,

but i don't know anymore,
maybe on day ill forget to bring the shield,
then the armour and finally the sword,

its a losing battle,
a battle that isn't about swords and shields,
but emotions and words,
with a battle everyday to stay alive,
but it is a losing battle,
and each day i forget something everyday,

its a losing battle and i don't know how long i can hold the line.

When it is nearly over
When the pain is gone
When the lies and anger ceases
And winter is my friend

'I watch as he destroys
the one I leave behind
no power left inside
And winter takes a hold

He ruined my self respect
He ruined my childrens lives
The anger and the tantrums
Are frozen now in time

Hurting and then the sorrow
The shouting and the pain
The lies and lies and lies
Winter at its worst

Emptiness surrounds me
And walls I build to keep
My sanity is fading and I know I am on the brink
Of losing my existence and will to fight the foe

When I finally have the courage
To walk away and say
I will not be bullied and I will not lay down and die
Is when the spring will melt away all the hurt of winter time

Detached,
Separate,
Lost,

These three words embodied the feeling that i have,
Lost in space,
Lost in time,
Separate from society,
Separate from my family,
Detached from this body,
Detached from this mind,

Its like a rain drop falling from the highest cloud,
Falling with no destination,
Falling on a path to destruction,

Its like a leaf falling from the highest branch in autumn,
Dead,
Dropped,
Left behind,
Nothing to hold it in place,
Nothing to keep it living,

Its like my mind had emptied,
Like a dam opens the flood gates and lets it all out,
Noting left inside,
But the mechanics of a living thing,
Hardly living at that,

These mechanics just wering away,
Keep going like its on auto pilot,
Just moving working with no path or destination in mind,
Just a machine,
Just a thing,

Detached,
Separate,
Lost,

These three words represent how i feel,
Left on auto pilot,
An unknown destination,
Just moving and working.

I heard a quote today which made me smile but cry at the same time, this is as much a poem as it is an anecdote.

"Love is both friend and foe, it keeps us sane but creates a madness also, but love and hope go hand in hand and let us go by in life, let hope be our guide and love our protection"

On hearing this it made me smile it made me hope but most of all it made me remember, it made me remember my loss my sorrow my pain, it made me remember that i have lost you and although you are there miles from me i know i have lost you but it also made me remember my love, my love for you it made me remember that no matter how far away you are that my heart will always be filled with love for you.

It made me have hope, i may not see you or be with you but it made me hope that one day i would see you happy once more but until that time let hope be my guide and let my love be your protection.

It's that feeling like you've forgotten something,
Like leaving a door open,
Or leaving a light on,
That feeling plagues me day and night,
But it's not about a door or light or any of those such things,
It's more a feeling that I have forgttten how to feel,
To let go of reason and logic and to just love,
That feeling that I have it's like there should be something here but instead there's nothing,
It's not just that though there are these thoughts floating around like a feather in the wind,
Drifting to place unknown,
To place forgotten,
And hidden from view,
Thoughts about the people around me,
About friends family and people at work,
It's like I can see them talk to them but my mind sees them ever slowly drifting away,
But instead of my feet and legs running after them,
They are stuck steadfast to the ground,
Unable or unwilling I don't know neither do I understand,
Then come the ideas both good and bad,
Do I tell her don't I tell her,
What would they think,
These are the question that surround the ideas in my head,
Or should I say dream,
Fantasy a fairy tale of love unconditional love and happiness,
But alas she has her Prince Charming,
And he, well he has his horse and armour in waiting,
Do I grab my mallet and sword to plunge through his steel armour or do I wait,
For this this evening was only random.

Life
Death
Inbetween
These three things are what hold me

Life
Happiness
Love
Family
Friends
Life isn't just about living for yourself it's about living for others,
Life isn't just about waking up and and breathing it's about loving and caring.

Death
Sadness
Pain
Sorrow
Death isn't just about letting your final breath go its about letting everything go the love the happiness the life,
Death isn't just about pain and sadness it's a sweet oblivion and sweet place to go after all the pain and sadness.

The Inbetween
Is where I'm stuck
Stuck living for others my soul and heart is dead they have let go but I can't stop caring for the ones I care about they are two people who helped me through but soon I will let go for good and go to my sweet oblivion.

Life death Inbetween
All three are different
All three are painful
But I will stay through the pain for two people once they are safe and happy I will gladly take deaths hand an let him lead me to me sweet oblivion.

Too bad you don't talk,
Too bad you don't care,
That you can't give a ****,
Ha if only you'd open your eyes and see,
See the truth,
You sit there high and mighty shouting at me,
Like a giant ******* thunderstorm,
And for what so you can clear your air,
Open your eyes and see the truth,
See me for what I am and not what your told,

I'm here for you,
Always for you,
Through the thunderstorms,
Through everything,
Open your eyes.

Before it's to late,
Before I'm gone.

The sound of the wet stone against the straight razors edge,
The rhythmic sound it makes as it grinds the narrow blade,
It's like a song what the cries to be heard yet no hears,
I hear it every night I hear it,
Mabey because that's because I'm the one playing it I don't know,

But I hear it and feel it,
The slow first cut the one with all the pressure,
The skin opens and the red crimson blood spills over the edges,
The ecstasy,
The thrill,
It's unbelievable,
So I do it agin and again,
I forget why I started,
I forget the reason,
But all that matters now is the feeling,
Pure as light it's self,

I play that song and relalise,
That the first cut is always the deepest.

I don't know what to say anymore,
I don't know what to think anymore,
I don't know what to do anymore,

My mind,
My body,
My heart,
My soul,
Do not know what to do anymore,

Time has just stopped,
It's like I'm just treading water,
I'm not moving,
Not going any where,
Just trying to keep myself afloat,

I don't know when I keep treading water,
Everyday my legs and arms get weaker,
The water keeps on getting deeper and deeper,
My body gives in,
I don't know why,
Why is it that I survive,

I don't know what to do,
What to think or feel,
I don't know which way to go,

I can't take it much longer,
It won't be long before my head goes under the water,
And I won't tread water anymore.

When I wake at the middle of the night I see the shinning moon high in the sky, a glowing symbol of hope that no matter how dark it may be in the world or in our minds it shows us that there is always light to be found.

But when you have lived in the darkness for so long that it becomes the only thing you know it's hard to find that light that hope.

That hope which fills our hearts and souls, that hope which tells us to keep dreaming, that hope which makes us climb to such heights but is never there to catch us when we fall.

When I wake I see the moons rays and hope that one day soon I will be able to sleep without out pain and sorrow with out anguish and sadness with out loss, but for now that hope the moon gives me drives me to madness.

A madness which pulls me to the darkness of hopelessness and pain ad sorrow, a madness which pulls apart my mind and my soul, a madness which makes me a fool to believe in hope.

A fools hope is all that I have left.

I can't hold on
I'm losing my grip
My fingers unravel from the edge I'm holding onto
When I fall it will be the last time
I can no longer see the reason I hold on.

I can't see why I try any more.

I hold on for the last time.

I grow wary of thinking,
I laugh when I chide my self,
"Now now carful you think hard enough it will hurt",
Then I laugh to my self and think again,

Sometimes of nothing other times it's of wild winters and summers full of laughter and love,

But even more so now I think of what it would be like,
To have someone close,
To hold,
To kiss,
To not have to think,

I chide my self more now than ever before for I think to much.

Lies,
sweet and sometimes sour,
but mostly sweet,
sweet as they leave the lips of those who say them,
and sweet to the ears that soak up those words,

they drip from the lips like honey,
and clog up like sout in a chimney,
they stop all the truth and let only lies through,

lies are used by all,
from couples through to lovers,
from one man to another,
from a women to a child,
they are in many cases seen as a way of hiding the truth,
the truth that bears the pain of life.

but for all who read this,
i sit here wrting these words and know to myself,
that i cannot bear the lies of others anymore,
i listen to those sweet seductive lies,
how they pour into me,
"i love you",
"i care",
i can no longer stand beside the fakes of this world,

id much rather stand alone then be flooded with lies,
be flooded with sorrow,
sorrow because i know that those words are lies.

lies all of them,
*lies

im lost in my own head,
i can see my self do all the things in this world,
i can see myself make tea and dinner,
walk and get dressed,
but i can touch,
but i cant change whats going on,
but i cant change what im doing,
im lost in my own body,
i don't recognise what im doing anymore,
losing my self seemed safe and now it seems to be be the best choice,
out of body out of mind.

getting lost in my self and forgetting who i am and what i was.

what a glorious felling losing oneself.

but im lost in myself and although glorious i can't change whats happening around me i can get back.

What is the point in searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, if when you get there is no bulb but a dark expanse of nothing, no rail road no dirt track no embers nothing just darkness, no hope no love no life just darkness what is the point in creating a light for others if all your creating is an illusion, why should I keep looking why should I start again when I know that all I will find is darkness.

When the tunnel has ended will there ever be light all will it always be darkness.

Take my hand dear,
Lay down beside me dear,
Look into my eyes and become lost with me,
Take my hand dear,
And we will go to a place where only we know,
Take my hand dear,
Close your eyes dear,
Lay down beside me and let's go to a place where only we know,
Take my hand dear.

Because I don't want to go without you.

Let me show you my pain
Let me show you my longing
Let me show you view

A perfect breakfast
Sunlight shining down warming my skin
A perfect cup of coffee
A ciggerette just lit with the whips of smoke catching the sunlight
A ****** breakfast

A moment caught in between perfect and terrifying
A moment of peace and pain
No distraction from thought or feeling
A bitter sweet morning breakfast

A view of the world from someone else's eyes
Perfect captured beauty an image of someone's mind
The feelings rise with the symmetry of there view but lack the full impact
Why can I understand but not feel
A moment of pleasure and a pain
An irony set out for another day

A look caught across the train
A look caught while walking down the street
The smile and warmth the missed moment
A moment of agony knowing it will never be yours to know there desire

A chased moment as two lips meet
The tearing of clothes in passion
A must so strong no thought can intrude
A perfect moment in time music playing in the back ground
Two hearts beating side by side
It ends as it always does and everybody knows it can never continue

A memory of shared pain and remembrance
A look into my soul and you see the pain not emotion just pain nothing left of emotion
A tear rolling down a cheek weather mine or yours it doesn't matter because it's a shared memory of pain neither same or different an echo of agony neither can understand

See my world and understand the depth
See my point of view and know what there is to know
See the pain and remember your own

Find your way to remind yourself that this world has reasons to live

My point of view is just one and reasons have yet to be found but I'm still looking through tinted eyes to find my reason.

Merry Christmas everyone,
May your day been filled with happiness,
And your hearts full of joy,
This little plot of words,
Is  my wish to you,

Merry Christmas
Be happy,
Eat till you can't move,
And open presents till there's no more paper left,

And look foreward to the future.

**

little by little,
bit by bit,
slowly it all grinds down in the end,
like a river down hill,
it starts on top but over the years,
it erodes down and down till there is a gaping scar in the land,

little by little,
bit by bit,
its all the same really,
the ware and tear of life,
tbh,
I'm like the earth below the river,

my skin the grass,
my muscles the the dirt,
my bones the stones,
the ware of life is just going through me,
and like the earth it erodes through me,
and like the earth i give way to the wight of the water,
the scars are there old and new,

little by little,
bit by bit,
slowly I'm eroding away,
soon there will be nothing left.

and i will be glad for it.

Too much ******* noise,
All these people shouting and screaming,
Yelling at me,
It's painfully all I want is silence pece,
But no all these people just want to pull at me,
Pull me into maddens sand insanity,
All I want is silence and peace,
But these ******* just won't give in,
Please I'm begging you,
Let me be,
Let me fade away,
Let me fall away,
Just let me go.

sometimes in life theres ups and downs,
i have had my downs,
like rain falling out of the sky,
the water falling over the cliff,
no end to the drop just the falling,
till one day i hit the fall,
i lost control in a way,
that made me lose everything,
i saw the blood flow,
and didnt stem it,
it was a beautiful master peice,
a perfect picture,
theres noting like watching your life drain away.

the only reason im still here is because of my family,
my friend she knows who she is,
my gf although sometimes (most) she dosnt seem to care,

some days i wish i wasnt here,
that i didnt have to live,
that i could watch my life flow away again.

A full moon,
That's what I see tonight as I wake,
In cold sweats from bone chilling nightmares,
Shadows
Jump out at me,


I wake,
Cold,
In tears,
I think to myself,
There's nothing left nothing,
Darkness,
Sadness,
Sorrow,

My nightmares plague my nights,
Chase my dreams away,
Take away my sanity,
Replace it with depression and sadness,

There is nothing left,
Happiness taken,
Love taken.

All
Because of these
Nightmares