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pookie Aug 2018
A spiral
A staircase
A long fall

How ever you decend it's always down,
Never do we see the light before we go,
It's forever darkness,
Never do we know what waits for us,
We think we know,
We hope we know,
Never do we get a chance to change our minds,
It's there it's easy once you've made the distance to get there.

What ever we do we decend,
I won't romanticise it it's not a decision we should make yet we do,
I won't tell you to stop because that will push you even harder than before because hell what do I know.

But I will say is this:

My mind is my prison
My body the vehicle I use
My soul the fuel
The decent my escape

Every morning it is there
Every night it welcomes me like a lover
Every time I close my eyes it becons to me
Every time I get up it threatens to pull me down

Yet I stand strong
Resting on the edge
Like running a knife across my throat hard enough to bite but not bleed
A damgours game to feel alive
To feel at all

A decent into darkness
A game we play alone
pookie Jun 2018
Let me show you my pain
Let me show you my longing
Let me show you view

A perfect breakfast
Sunlight shining down warming my skin
A perfect cup of coffee
A ciggerette just lit with the whips of smoke catching the sunlight
A ****** breakfast

A moment caught in between perfect and terrifying
A moment of peace and pain
No distraction from thought or feeling
A bitter sweet morning breakfast

A view of the world from someone else's eyes
Perfect captured beauty an image of someone's mind
The feelings rise with the symmetry of there view but lack the full impact
Why can I understand but not feel
A moment of pleasure and a pain
An irony set out for another day

A look caught across the train
A look caught while walking down the street
The smile and warmth the missed moment
A moment of agony knowing it will never be yours to know there desire

A chased moment as two lips meet
The tearing of clothes in passion
A must so strong no thought can intrude
A perfect moment in time music playing in the back ground
Two hearts beating side by side
It ends as it always does and everybody knows it can never continue

A memory of shared pain and remembrance
A look into my soul and you see the pain not emotion just pain nothing left of emotion
A tear rolling down a cheek weather mine or yours it doesn't matter because it's a shared memory of pain neither same or different an echo of agony neither can understand

See my world and understand the depth
See my point of view and know what there is to know
See the pain and remember your own

Find your way to remind yourself that this world has reasons to live

My point of view is just one and reasons have yet to be found but I'm still looking through tinted eyes to find my reason.
pookie Apr 2018
No matter where I am
No matter the time of day
No matter who I am with

I am lost

No matter what they say
No matter what they believe
No matter what they know

I am lost

No matter how I try
No matter what I do
No matter who I try to be

I am lost

Lost in a crowd
Lost in a family
Lost in a world of people
Lost in my own mind

I am lost
pookie Mar 2018
A dark night
A misty morning
All signs of life hidden
My mind open to the sounds of the world
But closed off from life

A dark night full of terror
A misty morning of regrets
Memories of a life befor
A feeling of longing for a time gone by

A dark night full of nightmares
A misty morning of hope
My feet move to find a new path
My heart searches for a new feeling

A dark night twisting and turning me over
A misty morning pulling me awake
My life beats my mind into submission
My eyes see all but understands nothing

A dark night
A misty morning
And still lost hope that I can't find
And still looking for the past to be the future.
pookie Dec 2017
This life
This day
This week
This year

It's all new
It's all perfect

It's a life without regrets
It's a life without sorrow

It's a life I thought I'd never have
It's a life I thought I'd lost
It's a life I'd left behind
pookie Oct 2017
Held by two
Standing on a ledge
Shadows behind edging closer
Sounds whisper past my ears
I close my eyes and feel the rush coming

Held by two
The rush stops
The sounds silence
The shadows step back

Held by two
One a friend
One my life

With out both the ledge looms
The sounds rush and the shadows push

Held by two
pookie Sep 2017
I don't know
I don't know why

I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know why I'm doing it

I don't know who
I don't know where

I don't know why it matters
I don't know why you care

I don't know why I'm still here
I don't know why I still try

Late nights
Early mornings

No sleep
Sleep all day

I don't know

What this is.
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