when you walked away you forgot to let go of my hand
and you took me with you
but I was not beside you,
I was behind you, begging to be seen
I was forgotten
the worst feeling isn't being left behind
it's being left along the way
when you're sitting right beside someone and they can't see you
they never saw you
you're yelling at him to let go
but he can't hear you,
he never heard you.
he only listens to himself
and he wonders why the only people who surround him
are those who only like him
for the shallow things
floating at the top of his throat
there's his answer.
you wanted to dive into his soul and latch to his lung
pinching whatever breath he had in him
reminding him that sometimes
it's easier to breathe with someone beside you,
someone inside you
he coughed and spat you out
but kept your taste a memory
for when he was craving something sweet
and now all you hear from him are whispers in the dark
when he's lonely
and has a craving
you know that cravings don't last
you know that neither will you
but something inside you,
wanted him to be happy
because if you could just make one person happy,
maybe you would be too
but this is the hard way
to learn that isn't true.

Why did we meet,
If we can’t be together?
Life is splashing its power in our faces,
Like cold water,
On a freezing winter’s day.
And as each piece of my hair freezes,
I slowly become brittle and empty.
It’s like you’re waiting at home with a warm towel,
But home is thousands of miles away,
And I’m scared that the journey to bring me to you,
Will be too hard for my heart to handle.
I’m scared of giving up.
I’m scared of letting go.
For all I keep dreaming of is thawing in your arms,
And feeling the warmth that only you can give me.
I guess I’ll just keep hoping,
That I never wake up.

Maybe if you liked yourself a little less,
You could have liked me.

And all of a sudden he was gone,
or maybe,
he was never really there.

Maybe it isn't who's right and who's wrong,
in matters to do with the heart.
Maybe we're actually all just scared witless,
of the uncertainty that lies behind the word 'restart'.

I can't quit loving people,
Who don't love me back.
I've never been one to give up,
But maybe this time I should.

A picture is worth a thousand words.
What I find most impressive,
is how with one sentence,
you can paint a thousand different pictures,
in a thousand different minds.

I would have waited for you
if you had said
something.
I would have waited for you
if you had said
anything
other than
nothing.

Spit in my face then tell me you love me.

I took my teardrops back from the ocean.
They took a while to find,
But after all of the work it took,
I really didn't mind.

I came to find my childish laugh,
In the middle of the sea,
the smile I left, I forgot I had,
things once so unimportant to me.
I get why you have to pay a fee,
To appreciate their authenticity,
And how they make you you,
Separate from the rest,
Like a unique little badge,
shining brightly on your chest.

Without them you feel alone,
the world appears so cold.
But the right person should enhance them,
At least that's what I'm told.

The one who was the last,
had me throw myself away,
and when he up and left,
I felt nothing but astray.

So I don't plan on swimming,
For quite a long time,
Not until the right person comes,
And together we're sublime.

If I told you I loved you
You would look at me crazy
If I told you I loved you
You would run away as fast as you could
If I told you I love you
You would tell me to take it back
So we could go back
Because if I told you I love you
Everything would change
We wouldn't just be having fun
Or messing around
This would be real
And it would hurt if one of us left
If I told you I love you
You would have to meet my family
And to us
That's just baggage
If I told you I love you
You would remember when she said those words
And the moment when she took them back
But what you dont know
Is when I look at you
I tell you I love you with every blink in my eye
And when I kiss you
I kiss you with one thousand I love yous
Tingling between us
I might not say it out loud
But I've said it to you
In a whole bunch of different ways
Every.single.day.
And you haven't run away
So I'll wait and be patient
For the right time to tell you
But just know from the moment I saw you
I already knew that I loved you
And unlike her,
I'm not going anywhere.

If you leave
dream of me,
I hope you always think of me.
I'm lost without you,
Don't you see?
I'm constantly reminded.

And if you don't
believe me,
And when you left you forgot me,
I hope you always dream of me,
In night terrors and lions.

this is the last time you'll drag your dagger through my mind
im silencing the thoughts
readjusting the locks
just to keep you out.
don't try and break in,
theft is in your blood and im not yours to steal.
your mask won't trick me the next time
your face is engrained in my mind
and i'll never forget
i could never forget
i'm just out of things to give
so please stay out this time.

How are we supposed to know truth,
When all we spit are lies,
To ourselves the most,
Salivating until we become the ties,
That keep them together.

I wish I could reach out,
Grab what you call your honesty,
And choke it to death,
To teach you the meaning of friendship.

Here's your money back,
I'm sorry I can't give you your time,
I'm a shell of a girl,
but don't worry,
on the outside I'll be fine.

I live in constant fear,
Of being forgotten.
But if forgotten means,
Only known by those I truly love,
Why am I scared?

Maybe,
we're all just imitating someone we saw once,
Trying to be all of the people we've decided we respect and admire.
Maybe,
None of us are truly unique to ourselves,
But rather a collection of our favourite minds,
Put together as best we can.

So forgive me if I falter,
I'm just trying to make you proud.
I'm just trying to make myself proud.
And sometimes,
Most of the time,
I'm not sure who that is.

I was right in thinking
you needed to be loved
I was wrong in thinking
mine was enough

I looked up at the night sky
Every single star exploded at once
A storm of dust surrounded me.
I couldn't move,
I couldn't scream,
All I could do was stand there in silence staring,
Wondering if it would ever end.

Falling in love the first time is easy,
you don't understand the risk.
It's like,
learning how to swim as a child,
you're unaware that you're unafraid of the unknown.
Once you're an adult, and understand the concept of how to swim,
and the possibility of drowning,
you realize,
it's terrifying.

I’m back in a hole.

I can’t feel myself,
my thoughts are lost.

The fluorescents of the city shine so bright because they **** the inner light from each soul wandering through it's streets.

I need you like a bad habit.
Like, biting my nails,
Or, telling far-fetched tales.  
I make sad attempts to stop but,
I can’t stop biting,
My fingers are bleeding.
I can’t stop lying,
What is this animal I’m breeding?
I can’t seem to quit,
You’re all I think about.
Trying to stop is like
Not craving rain,
In the middle of a drought.

My unmade bed reminds me of my unmade head before you left and now all I see are stars and reasons why I can instead of why I can't and what love truly means and why when I fell asleep last night I was happy to wake up and I noticed the beauty in my breathing and how I want to laugh forever. I stretched and felt the cold tile on my toes and it tickled and I wanted to dance to music I hadn't heard before strings and drums and guitars and maybe I could learn the guitar and I could play music for someone else that didn't end in tears from locked up fears instead that just ended in a long melody that never truly ended and just played in the background reminding you to smile. I saw colours I hadn't seen before blues reds bright whites luminescent lights shining so bright I had to blink one two three times to not see spots but I had my eyes open and for the first time I wasn't tired and I wanted to keep them open for as long as I could soaking in everything I couldn't see until now. The world looked so clear outside, I felt for the first time like I was real and someone somewhere could reach out and touch me. If this is life I get it now I get why writers write why birds fly and why bunnies hop and dogs bark and why the sun rises and the moon talks and why clouds look like the most comfortable space in the entire universe. I get why you had to break my heart. I was already broken my whole life before you, and only now I feel complete, after being shattered.

You matter
You were placed here with two feet, two hands
For walking, for touching
Two eyes for looking
Looking into two other eyes
Looking into the vast ocean realizing no matter how small you are you matter
You are matter
You, regardless of the background noise, matter so much that if you were gone that piece of matter would not and could not be replaced
The eyes you saw and the places you walked and the people you touched would forever remember
Would forever miss
And would forever be missing
You.

when I told you
how much it hurt
when you said you couldn't be with me
you said
you couldn't understand
thats when I knew
it wasn't that you couldn't be with me
handle my baggage
or anything else
it was more simple than that
you just didn't love me.

I waited for you for as long as I could hold my breath,
And on the verge of death,
I had to let go.

"You make me extremely nervous"
"Why?" he asked.
She fiddled with her rings and answered,
"Because if you kiss me, it's going to hurt when you leave."

other people can't fix
the hole inside my heart
because other people can't fix
what was broken from the start.

You're a mess,
And I'm obsessed,
Just kiss me when you go.

I think I found hell in your eyes and the devil in your smile.

I saw you,
And my life went up in flames.

I wouldn't mind selling my soul,
Giving up light,
If your eyes could burn
their way through my body,
and your lips,
They could be mine.

I wouldn't mind dying,
If it was you that killed me.

You found me laying in the grass.
You should have left me there.

you told me that you loved me
so i lit a match and
watched the words
go up in flames
in front of me
i swallowed the words
i love you too

your love letters used to make me feel
love
and then hate
but now
they are just words on paper
and all they make me feel is
free.

I thought I was done losing
Done pretending
Done trying to prove
My heart only wants you
To be happy
If you don’t know that by now
I will never be enough
Nothing will ever be enough

When you said forever
I told myself I'd never
Trust something I couldn't reach.

So when you left
I wasn't surprised
I was prepared for what history taught me to be.

Call me jaded
But you're the one who left
So maybe next time
don't prove me right.

Thank you for letting me go
For the silence of letting me know
I can move on

Everybody moves on
If you don't
You'll simply be
left behind.

I’ve never seen lights so bright in my life.
I bet people don’t even notice when it goes dark.
I can’t help but wonder … what else they don't notice.

You walk into my mind
You take over
Its beautiful for a moment
And then you leave
And then its torture

Staring at me through blank eyes
What I thought was inside
Turned out to be a spiral of doubt
The only thing that turned out to be real
Was the lesson I learned
The slap in the face
And the reality check
That not all people are looking to love
Some just want the surface
The smudges on the glass
Distorting what you see of yourself
My reflection in you was my self worth disappearing
Apologetic for who I am
And my belief of wrong
And right
I could have loved you
Now you're just one more lonely girl
Too stubborn to be anything else
Just know I could have loved you

I constantly crave the worst things for me
And I always give in
Its too tempting to taste something I used to know
Because lately
I feel like I don't know anything
I'm so lost
I constantly crave to feel at home.

We're still kids,
Don't you see?
I'm still sitting on the staircase,
Listening to you scream,
Waiting until it's safe to fall asleep.

My life has turned into moments on the staircase,
Heart tense,
Hands over my ears,
Biting back tears,
Wanting it to end.

I've never felt so happy
or so alone
the ones beside me drifted by me
and sung me a sweet song I grew tired of singing
so hum me a melody so sweet I can see
the good in a heart again
so I can wake up again
to light in the sky again
to light in my eyes again
erase these dark scars that line my skin like a road map
leading you to the secrets that lay silent in my skull
wanting to break free
needing to be set free
release my clenched fists for me and close my eyes shut
fingers intwined,
touch your lips to mine
breathe life into me.

meeting
you was
waiting feeling
anxious and
nervous then
let down and
disappointed.

You're just a placeholder
Filling in the space
I use you
The same way
you use me
Only when we're lonely.

I always pick the broken ones, cuz I am broken too.*

I look to the ones with damaged bones,
beat down,
broke down,
weathered.
Hoping where our pieces broke that they might fit together.

When you only have two halves of hearts,
You'd assume they'd make a whole,
But lying in bed next to you,
I've never felt less of my soul.

I guess you have to try and find,
Your other half all on your own.
Because you know it started out with you,
But then you gave it out on loan.

You can't seem to remember,
Who now has it in their hands.
There were a lot of faceless broken ones,
And they all look the same in the stands.

But you learn how to make a house a home,
Even when you aren't there.
To surround yourself with greatness,
And only those who care.

It's harder than it seems to sound,
But you'll get there,
You'll find a way.
And you'll wish the best for the broken ones,
Because you were just them yesterday.

Sweet flower,
As your petals float to the ground around you,
It may look to the outside world you are dying,
But it is when you are left as a shell of what you used to be,
Stripped down,
A stem,
That is when you come to life.

Sweet flower,
You've never looked more beautiful.

Goodbye has become a simple phrase,
One I share with one too many.

I'm anxiously waiting,
For someone who makes saying goodbye not so easy.
For someone who makes saying goodbye impossible.

I'm hoping that on the other side of a goodbye,
There may come a hello,
That doesn't end the same way all the others have.

I don't know what to do,
with the things life has given me.
Maybes,
Changes,
And too many "ifs".

I don't know if anybody will ever stay.

Where are you going,
And,
Can I come with you?

I think I've cried for as long as I can,
my ducts have run dry.
The lidocaine replaced the blood in my veins and I've never felt more alive.

Numbness has become my life's sanctuary.

Never thought it would be the answer,
and maybe it's the alcohol,
but I'd rather be an alcoholic than be invaded by a cancer.

The only good things in life are those that have been untouched by man.
The worst part about humans:
They're unaware.

How much power their hands have.
How much damage they can do.

Be careful of who you touch,
you can’t just leave afterwards.

Although..
most people think you can.

I wish for the day we find someone who doesn't have to play pretend,
who sees my scars,
and softly presses their lips to every single one,
not to erase them,
but to simply accept the parts of me I am not proud of,
as they are,
as I am,
and then last they will take their lips and rest them on mine,
not to erase me,
but to colour me for the rest of time.