A summer solace wind storm,
Blowing against my face, ripping against my clothes,
Out here, on the edge, thinking of you,
Imagining your face, in this abyss trying to swallow me.

It creeps against me, holding me to the ground,
I didn't want to move anyway.
But the shards of rain and ice pelting my skin,
Causes pain, causes me to tear up.

I hold your memories in my arms,
I hold your gentleness in my breath,
One last time, I hold you close to me,
Then I let you go.

For a time my world was in vibrant colors,
All the oceans were in blue and green,
The deserts were in red and caramel brown,
And all the grass and trees were glittering emeralds,
The flowers were a myriad of colors, like rainbows,
And the snowy mountains were a deep purple, capped with twinkling snow.

But frosts came.
The oceans were frozen solid killing all life in them,
The deserts were like a sheet of ice was rolled over them,
The grass withered and died away; the trees were stripped of their leaves.
The pedals of the flowers fell and decayed into nothing,
And the sun is covered in black clouds that the snow twinkles no longer.

I'm cold and frozen.
My eyes only processes in black and white,
As my mind has forgotten what colors are.
Fire has since become extinct,
And light flees this forsaken world.
I endure it, though. I endure.
Because I love you,
And with you I remember color.

You are the rain falling from the sky,
Serenading yourself off the shingled roof.
Though I have shelter, walls and a ceiling,
You trickle your way through the cracks.

An empty room gathers dust;
Snow collects in corners of windows;
And my resistance to you
Suffers from your irresistibility.

Stop the earth from spinning,
   I will seek you beyond dawn.
'Til I find your delicate face,
   Held in my loving embrace.

The journey our hearts undertake,
   A lesson in dedication and sacrifice.
Whether you've given me all your heart,
   Or never given me a second glance.

Know this is the truth from me,
   Never leaving or failing.
I will be your reliability,
   Rest easy in my arms.

Though I have lost you from my life,
  You dwell forever in my heart;
Scars borne from being torn away,
  I shall wear as a badge of honor;
An unjust separation, too quick and harsh,
  Cut to my core, separated heart from flesh.

You were so much more than friendship and lust;
  You were true love, true love, oh you are true love!
You are my friend, you dwell in my thoughts;
  You are my love, you dwell in my heart.

I will endure for you these hardships.

Watching weary travelers on the beaten path,
Dirt kicked up with every step and dissipates,
Just like the weary travelers with their beaten lives.

I am shaking uncontrollably
All these feelings aren't mine
I want to fade into sleep
Everything is so wrong
I'm a tormented soul
My cry is unheard
I'm deaf and blind
Mute and crippled
I say not my own words
For I have no words left
I am broken
Wounded
I am dead

clouds are rolling in
from the west
leaving their shadows
in their wake
a darkness that
isn't dark
but only robs
my life of light
oh clouds go away soon
the sun has set
and none care to see
how monolithic
your judgements are
let the flowers grow again
and the animals are cold

Slice slice slice
All over my arm.
Slash slash slash
All over my thighs
Cut cut cut
All over my hips

Making Roman numerals all over my skin
Hoping it will silence the voices within
Letting the blood run down and around
Hoping agony will drown and run aground.

My skin will mend
My bleeding will stop
But scars will remain
Penned onto my heart.

when i look at you,
the world softens,
as if everything around us
was made to frame your light.

there’s a quiet peace
in the way you move through life,
a gentle hum that steadies me.

storms may come,
and time may lay its hands
on our skin,
but i find no fear in what’s ahead,
because every breath,
every glance,
ties me deeper into you.

i have wandered before,
adrift in places without meaning,
but now,
with your love, i am grounded
rooted in the soil of your kindness,
wrapped in the warmth of your gaze.

no wind can carry me away,
for i am planted here,
growing toward the sun
that shines in your heart.

let the seasons change,
let the years whisper softly away
you will always be
my home.

Run away//
Run away//
From the alarm clock that breaks your rest//
Run away//
From the pains held in your chest//
A life unblessed//
From blessings you subvert//
Run away//
From the love you invert//
Run away//
Run away//
Run//
Away//

A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
But if all links are eroded and rusted, what happens?
You break free.

I now know what's best;
I don't know what's worse:
The certainty that I love you,
Or the certainty that you can't know.

I know it's what I must do,
You'll never know my affection.
I would've given you the world,
But our story won't be written.

I'm sorry, so sorry...
Love isn't worth it.
These tears...
I'm sorry.

Quiet breathing overshadowed by a pounding heart
leaves my ears deafened and I slowly fall apart

Weakened with extra haste to die and find peace
clay ankles weren't meant to hold a heart of stone

A heart selfless at one time but given too freely
to the wolves that desire only the flesh

Now I sit with loneliness and reminisce
about the lovers that were eventually a lie

Now I sit with loneliness and confess
there is no more heart for me to give

I still hold
     untold scars
but
     I still smile
when I see your face

I am a vulture.
I'll tear your bloated remains apart with my beak.

I am a raven.
I'll pick you apart when you are tossed away.

I am a piranha.
I'll devour you to the bone in under a minute.

I am a jackal.
I'm crafty and sneaky and I steal the lion's ****.

I am the face in the mirror.
I'll always keep you from being your best.

Scream...
Scream my heart, and let her go.
Let her go, and don't look back.
But you always look back.
Why do you always look back?
Why can't you just scream...
And let her go?

Screaming until I bleed,
Screaming until I lose hearing.

Bleeding until I die,
Bleeding until I stop this pain.

Dying so I won't hurt,
Dying didn't solve the problem.

The way you hold his hand I
                   Look down at mine and I
              Know you could never
                       Hold my hand that way.

You chose to love him over me
       Breaking my heart yet another time
    Bleeding me out for another rhyme
But no, I'm just raging in jealousy.

We are so compatible
       You and
              I.

But again, again, and again;
      You don't see how true I am for you,
   How much I have dedicated myself for you,
All the sacrifice I make for you.

Perhaps love is, indeed, blind.

This is my coffin
I dug the hole six feet deep
It's actually quite comfortable
Except soon I can't breathe

I laid down in it
Then nailed it shut with headless nails
Pulled the string to let the dirt bury me
Ignited a glow stick so I won't be in the dark

Except now I'm reconsidering
The life of the afterlife
I'm thinking I signed my death warrant
A little bit too hastily

So now I'm six feet under
Dying and wanting to live
Looks like I'm in need of a savior
But nobody knows where I am

Open the cuts on my soul again//
to make sure the pain hurts the way I remember it//
Darling it's all I have left//
You a̶r̶e̶  were my addiction//

I tried to erase y̶o̶u̶  it but I just//
scratched the vinyl & carved your name on the walls//
so I'd never forget but//
always need//

Bodies unite and collide together
Pleasurable bliss intertwined by flesh
Sweat soaked sheets and rhythmic movements
Gentle tenderness and ***** fetishism alike
Soft candlelight dancing on the wallpaper
Hands exploring the warmth of bodies
Rose petals spread all across the floor
Beauty in its purest form in this act
This act meant to be hallowed
Has become so hollow

Well these days I'm not fine
Sitting and staring at flowers that aren't mine
Breathing a breeze that smells of seawater
Thinking of my heart beneath those distant waves

I need someone but no one can help me
Everyone says to "get some help please"
What does that look like through my lenses?I

Help for you is not help for me
Help for them is not help you you
Help for me is a mystery

Shrouded and ambiguous
It flies like migrating birds far beyond my reach

You clipped her wings so she would fall,
but she learned to fly without your voice
to soar into the atmosphere.

You were her morning and evening star,
the guiding lighthouse on the shore;
you were her adoration.

You didn't understand that she truly loved you,
how much of her heart she gave to you that you
trampled on and discarded for your own pleasure.

Now she's going to fly
grow
love
be free
while you're still in your chains
of heart games and misleading.

In short, she's always going to
**be better
than you...

I forgot when I
Plucked you
From the rose bush
You had thorns

The blood dripping
From my heart
Reminded me
You still hurt

Pig headed stud you are
Loving all the girls you collect
Like they're pokemon or baseball cards
You don't love any of them at all, do you?

You just put them in plastic like a trophy
And you display them luxuriously
So everyone sees how well you fish
But guess what, bud? You are owned by them.

You could've had the best love ever
But you had to keep collecting
And now she's dying inside
But you're already dead to her

So when you're broken and alone
Remember:
She'll be happy and free
You lost a treasure
She just lost a dime

A sickly mind,
Embraces a broken past,
Trying to hide,
Her prickly thorns,
Clinging to her.

Sprinting forth,
To uneven roads,
Running from wolves,
Gobbling at her long hair,
Feet carry her far away.

Tattered cloth hangs,
From empty tree branches,
Marking the journey she took,
From her sickly mind,
To her broken past.

Will someone help her?

Simple...
Like putting one foot in front of the other;
When you've lost both your legs.

Simple...
Like inhaling and exhaling air;
When your lungs have collapsed.

Simple...
Like falling asleep and dreaming sweet dreams;
When you're terrified of sleep because of the nightmares.

Simple...
Like drinking a glass of water, or eating a meal;
When you're in a desert place, vultures overhead.

Simple...
Like being warmly embraced by your loving mother;
When your mother is a skeleton in the ground, bottle still in her boney hand.

Simple...
Like riding a bicycle after years of walking;
When a tire is flat and the brakes are cut.

Simple...
Like standing on a mountain and breathing the freshness;
When the avalanche comes and wipes you out.

Simple...
Like falling in love and living happily ever after;
When she doesn't love you one ounce...

Simple...
Like repeating yourself in so many different ways;
When your repetitive mind drives you over the edge.

Yeah, life is real simple sometimes.

The depths of your heart,
  Which I have so valiantly besieged.
Holds such beauty without limit,
  Overwhelming love overflowing.

Could your heart be mine?
  I would give you my life, gladly.

lay in impassioned throes,
bodies pressed with one another,
tracing sins with our fingers
on each other's creamy skin.

i want your taste to linger in
my mouth just a little longer.
to hold the fullness of your *******
in the palms of my hands.

to lay together in sweat and
ecstasy, full of pleasure.

We sit here, you and I, at this table of unconfirmed love.
How I wish you could read this heart of mine! You would see your name, your face, your heart, your soul burned within me.
You have branded and smote me with your dazzling beauty!

I would sensually whisper to you every word I have left locked inside my love for you. How every time I see you my breath staggers in my lungs and my eyes are awash in your harmonious grace.
That I dream of you nightly and we are together, yet you are stolen away from me every time dawn shines her morn light.

If you would know of this secret locked away passion I have for you, would you entice your desire for me? Would you pursue the calling of your heart for me?

Sixty days straight you've been on my mind;
  sixty days straight is a helluva lot of time
  to go without seeing your face, beautiful face;
  Time's a race and I just want it to be erased!

If I have to be honest let me say:
  I'm angry about losing you, today.
No more of pining for what I lost;
  today's the day I'm angry of the cost!

Babe, I hope you're feeling the same way.
We melted into each other's
                                     cracks and crevices.

We intertwined in love like it was a design
  and our hearts aligned, our souls combined,
  torn apart, unkind; now all that's left is a
                                                               ­  chalk outline!

I know you'd probably want me to move on and be happy;
All I know is  I was happy when I was with you, so happy.
Our story shouldn't be over, why'd it get torn apart?
Like a trilogy cancelled halfway through part 2...

Somehow I've stopped writing to be me
I tried to be a better writer and I lost myself
Tried to drown out all the pain and love
Tried to replace it with form and correctness
I got a bit out of whack with my muse
No longer will that happen, I promise
Guess this is all I got right now. Glad to be back.